ParentsCanada magazine - Fall 2017

REAL TALK

REAL CHOICES REAL LIFE

FA L L 2 0 1 7

The

PERFECT STORM ARE YOUR CHILD’S

STANDARDS

TOO HIGH? CLASS IS IN SESSION!

❯ MIDDLE SCHOOL PREP ❯ LATE LEARNERS ❯ STAGE FRIGHT

ADVENTURES in BABYSITTING

USE YOUR VILLAGE TO HELP RAISE YOUR KIDS

PUCKER UP!

DO YOU KISS YOUR KIDS ON THE LIPS?

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contents

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FI RST & LAST 4

46

EDITOR’S LETTER Getting involved in the classroom.

TODDLER MELTDOWNS During a full-blown meltdown, what is happening inside a toddler’s head? We take a guess.

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22

LITTLE MISS PERFECT Is your child putting too much focus on achieving perfection?

ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING Parents: get a sitter and get out of the house!

T R AV E L

U P FRONT PARE NTING 8

R E LAT IN G

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TRENDING NOW...

Back-to-school books, birthday party preferences and the worst thing about starting the school year.

DOLPHIN TALES The Coral, Atlantis and Duck Key are full of sunshine...and dolphins!

CHEW ON THIS Filling your plate with fruits and veggies, and the cookbook nook.

HELP ME SARA Battling stage fright.

30

TIME OUT Amazing Race’s Jon Montgomery talks fatherhood, and travel products.

PC COOKS: SQUASH IT! Squash is more than just a side dish – it can be a full meal!

34

COOK ONCE/EAT TWICE Pot roast and cottage pie – classic comfort foods.

35

WHAT’S IN STORE? The latest and greatest for foodies.

ASK THE EXPERT Are doctors doing enough tests? Probably.

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14

TOUCHY SUBJECT Should you kiss your kids on the lips?

15

NEED IT, WANT IT, GOTTA HAVE IT Back-to-school gear.

page

STRIVING TO BE PERFECT CAN CAUSE ANXIETY.

D E V E LO P I N G CHILDHOOD CHAPTERS 36

BABY So long, sucker: Is thumb sucking really that bad?

Maybe not.

38

TODDLER Jump around: When it comes to trampoline fun, it’s all about safety first.

40

PRESCHOOL Late learners: Some kids don’t show interest in learning colours, shapes and letters.

41

SCHOOL-AGE Lumps and bumps: Could that little lump be a hernia?

42

TWEEN A whole new world: Make the transition to middle school as easy as possible.

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14

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT KISSING ON THE LIPS?

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38

TRAMPOLINES ARE FUN – IF USED PROPERLY.

FOUR SQUASH RECIPES YOUR FAMILY WILL LOVE.

REAL TALK

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page

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BACK-TO-SCHOOL GEAR, INCLUDING RECYCLED CRAYONS.

REAL CHOICES REAL LIFE

FA L L 2 0 1 7

The

PERFECT STORM ARE YOUR CHILD’S

STANDARDS

TOO HIGH?

42 40 10

CLASS IS IN SESSION!

22

ADVENTURES in BABYSITTING

❯ MIDDLE SCHOOL PREP ❯ LATE LEARNERS ❯ STAGE FRIGHT

USE YOUR VILLAGE TO HELP RAISE YOUR KIDS

14

YOU KISS YOUR KIDS ON THE LIPS? PUCKER UP! DO PC_COVER_FW17_F_.indd 1

Looking for a quick read? Check out the trivia along the bottom of every page, courtesy of The Bathroom Readers Series & All-time Great Canadian Quotations.

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editor’s letter

in this

ISSUE

FAMILY LIFE K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Do you kiss your kids on the lips or is it an inappropriate action? Mathew Lajoie and Liz Hastings debate on page 14.

Bon voyage Planning a family

vacation to beat the Canadian cold? We have a couple suggestions. Page 26

Squash it. If your kids turn up their

noses at the mention of squash, we have four recipes that will change their mind.

Page 30

Jump around Did you know that

toddler bodies aren’t equipped to deal with the dangers of trampoline bouncing? Watch out for broken bones!

Page 38

Don’t be too cool for school I’m not going to lie; I am a keener classroom parent. I admit it. I am that mom. I am the one on all the field trips. I pet goats at the zoo, pick out pumpkins at the grocery store and sip maple syrup at the sugar bush. I volunteer on craft days. I go to the barbecues and play days. I attend every holiday assembly and sing and dance with the kids when no other parents are participating (and I look ridiculous). I even joined the parent council for the after-school program.

Hate me if you must, but I have many reasons to be so involved in the classroom.

WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Survey responses are included in every issue, plus you’re automatically entered to win great prizes. Go to ParentsCanada.com/contests to see what you could win!

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Did we mention it’s free?

First, and most obvious, it gives me extra time with my kid.

Second, it gives me extra time with the teachers. Teachers are busy people and grabbing 30 seconds with them before the bell rings can be hard enough, let alone a sit-down meeting. When you volunteer in the class, conversations naturally come up with teachers and you learn more about your child’s progress.

Another plus? I get to see how my daughter interacts with her peers and with authority.

I’m able to see how well she uses her manners or how bossy she gets while playing with her buddies. I am able to understand her day a bit better, because often, “How was your day” is answered with “fine” and no follow-up details.

Finally, I like that my daughter’s friends get to know me. I love being greeted with their smiles and hugs, because this means when it comes time for playdates, they will feel comfortable and happy in our home.

I use this time to observe my daughter’s growth, without hovering or being intrusive.

I still give her space. And she really loves it. As she enters Grade 1, I will take every opportunity to be present in her school life, because soon, I will just be her “embarrassing mother” (cue eyeroll).

FA L L 2 0 1 7

REAL TALK

REAL CHOICE S

REAL LIFE

Little Miss

Amy Bielby, Editor Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at @amylynnbielby

rfect Pe ARE YOUR CHILD’S STANDARDS TOO HIGH?

CLASS IS IN SESSION! ❯ MIDDLE SCHOO ❯ LATE LEARNERS ❯ STAGE FRIGHT

STOP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR KID!

L PREP

RES ADVENTUTTI in BABYSIGE TO NG USE YOUR VILLA KIDS. HELP RAISE YOUR

DO YOU KISS YOUR

THE LIPS? PUCKER UP! KIDS ON

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60% OF WOMEN WEAR THE WRONG SIZE PAD. 100% OF THEM CAN CHANGE THAT. Introducing Always My Fit™ - a range of pads for every shape and flow.

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HOWEVER YOU SLEEP, YOU’RE PROTECTED.

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Our Expert Contributors Contributors Dr. Janine Flanagan, Sara Dimerman, Liz Hastings, Mathew Lajoie, Vivian Fellegi, Leisse Wilcox, Janice Biehn, Bonnie Young, Rosie Schwartz, Shallon Cunningham, Liz Bruckner, Astrid Van Den Broek

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Christine T. Chambers, PhD., RPsych DEPARTMENT OF PEDIATRICS AND PSYCHOLOGY & NEUROSCIENCE, IWK HEALTH CENTRE, HALIFAX

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No nonsense parenting ideas that really stick

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Class is in session

IT’S TIME TO HIT THE BOOKS AGAIN. BUT THAT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A BAD THING! HERE ARE SOME FUN PAGES TO GET YOUR KIDS BACK IN THE SWING OF THINGS. For parents, the return to school has been dubbed “the most wonderful time of the year”. We asked our readers: what are the best and worst parts of heading back?

The best part: volunteering for field trips! Worst part: judgey mom wars!

– NATALIE The best part about going back to school is no more guilt about extra electronics time.

The worst part, hands down, is making lunches!

– JOANNA

Nelson Disney Learning Collection

Written by Kristen Crow Illustrated by Molly Idle Bloomsbury, $23

Written by Adam Rex Illustrated by Christian Robinson Roaring Brook, $25

Zombelina is an energetic little zombie who loves to participate in class – even if her arm does fall off when she raises it. But the thing she is most looking forward to is performing a dance during show and tell. And she spins and twirls, things don’t go exactly as planned as she begins to lose body parts. This is a cute story about confidence, but offers some giggles throughout – for kids as well as parents.

First-day jitters are common for students – new teacher, new faces, new school.

But, have you ever thought about how the school feels? The school shares his point of view in this book, and it turns out, his feelings mirror those of the children. He is battling his first-day nerves, too. He wonders: what will all the children do when they come? Will they like the school? Will they be nice?

It’s the perfect story for any kid who is nervous about heading back to class.

PA R T Y on !

WHERE DO YOU PARTY? AT HOME:

49%

WHO DO YOU INVITE?

WHAT SHOULD OTHER PARENTS DO?

A FEW SPECIAL FRIENDS:

STAY AT THE PARTY:

15%

WHEN ARE PRESENTS OPENED?

JUST FAMILY:

DROP THEIR KIDS AND LEAVE:

DURING THE PARTY:

WHATEVER THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH:

WHEN EVERYONE LEAVES:

24%

THE WHOLE CLASS:

9%

.com FA L L / 2 0 1 7

Nelson, Canada’s largest education publisher, has teamed up with Disney to bring a fun learning experience into the home. With familiar characters like Moana and Mickey Mouse, kids from kindergarten to Grade 2 can engage and learn in a fun way, boosting their confidence when it comes to shapes and colours, or more advanced work in letters, spelling and math. Board books, activity cards and activity books are available. The whole collection can be found at nelson.com and at select retailers across the country.

School has started and that means party invites are coming! We asked readers how they feel about birthday celebrations.

66%

8

Nelson, prices vary

25%

60

%

73%

27

%

JUNGLE JAM/ TRAMPOLINE PARK:

23%

A SPECIAL OUTING, LIKE THE ZOO:

18%

RENT A ROOM:

9%

Best part: They are gone all day.

The worst part: I really can’t think of a downside....

– KYLIE The best part is the fresh start.

New motivation and goals for the year are always high in the first week. The worst? Lunches.

When the only sandwich your child will eat is peanut butter and talks too much at lunch time that he brings home almost everything... lunches are the worst.

– CORTNEY Regular routine is the best part.

Worst part is the morning hustle to get out the door so I’m not late for work.

– KARA Sweet freedom for me!

The best part is getting “me” time and running errands without having to bribe two kiddos.

The worst part is summer fun is over and no more sleeping in.

– DANA The best part is getting back to a schedule. The worst part is trying to make a lunch my daughter will actually eat!

– MICHELLE

Anne of Green Gables was rejected by four publishers before being accepted for publication.

Shutterstock.com

School’s First Day of School

Zombelina School Days

DR. JANINE FLANAGAN

Ask the expert UP FRONT PARENTING

I feel that when I take my child to the doctor, the doctor doesn’t perform enough tests to properly diagnose. And sometimes, I leave without a prescription. Should I speak up during appointments?

Of course, you should always voice any concern with your doctor. However, it is reported that Canadians have over one million potentially unnecessary medical tests and treatments each year. In a publicly funded health care system, unnecessary tests can lead to a waste of health system resources that could be better spent on other services for patients.

The “Choosing Wisely” campaign has been launched to help clinicians and patients engage in discussions about investigations and make smarter choices. Many low-risk patients are getting tests that are not needed. Sometimes this testing even leads to further tests that are inconvenient, expensive and have risks or side effects. There are now over 230 “Choosing Wisely” recommendations. In pediatrics, specifically, here are five of the ones currently in place.

1

DON’T PRESCRIBE ANTIBIOTICS TO CHILDREN WITH BRONCHIOLITIS.

Shutterstock/© michaeljung/© diyanski

Respiratory distress or wheezing from bronchospasm (ie. bronchiolitis) is common in children. This infection is almost always caused by a virus, not bacteria.

Inappropriate administration of antibiotics can lead to unnecessary risks (allergies, rashes, diarrhea and other adverse side-effects) and also increases overall antibiotic resistance.

2

3

DON’T ORDER CT HEAD SCANS IN CHILDREN WITH MINOR HEAD INJURIES.

DON’T USE ANTIBIOTICS IN CHILDREN WITH UNCOMPLICATED ACUTE OTITIS MEDIA.

Minor head injuries are common. Children with minor falls who cry right away with no loss of consciousness, recurrent vomiting, or change in behaviour, who return to their normal way of interacting and behaving and do not score on validated clinical decision rules (eg. CATCH or PECARN) are at a very low risk of having a brain injury. CT scans can expose children to unnecessary ionizing radiation that has the potential to increase a patients’ lifetime risk of cancer. They also increase length of stay and misdiagnosis.

Children over the age of two years who seem well with mild ear pain and fever should have a watchand-wait approach using analgesia only for 48 hours.

If there is no improvement, or worsening of symptoms (infections in both ears, discharge from ear, persistent fever) then a reevaluation for antibiotics can be done.

Inappropriate immediate use of medicine can expose patients to unnecessary risks (allergies, rashes, diarrhea, side effects).

‹ 1,000,000 Reported number of potentially unnecessary medical tests and treatments done each year on Canadians.

The average person will suffer about 200 colds in their lifetime.

4

DON’T USE ANTIBIOTICS IN CHILDREN WITH UNCOMPLICATED SORE THROATS.

Children frequently present with sore throats. The vast majority are caused by self-limiting viral infections, not bacterial infections and therefore don’t respond to antibiotics. If the physical examination and subsequent clinical scores show features of a bacterial infection (pus/exudate, red pinpoint spots, fever, no cough), then a throat swab should be done before starting antibiotics. If the throat swab is positive and shows Group A Streptococcus (GAS), then antibiotics should be started. All too often children are given an antibiotic without a documented positive throat culture, which then leads to a rash and a referral to an allergy specialist for penicillin allergy testing – which is costly and uncomfortable and more than often negative and therefore unnecessary.

5

DON’T ORDER ANKLE AND/OR FOOT X-RAYS IN CHILDREN WITH A NEGATIVE PHYSICAL EXAMINATION WITH RESPECT TO TYPE OF INJURY AND FRACTURE RISK.

Foot and ankle injuries are common in children and following the validated Ottawa Ankle Rules (OAR) for children greater than two years old has been shown to reduce the number of x-rays performed without adversely affecting patient outcome. If the risk is low on the OAR, then the likelihood of a fracture needed casting is very low and the x-ray is not needed. It only exposes the child to unnecessary ionizing radiation, extending health care visit with associated costs without providing additional value.

Read more about children’s health at ParentsCanada.com/health

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UP UP FRONT FRONT PARENTING PARENTINGHelp HelpmemeSara Sara

THROUGH THE AGES

Taking Centrestage Kids often get nervous in front of crowds, but facing the fear can help.

BY S A R A D I M E R M A N :: I recently asked a young girl who was talking to me about her anxiety, if she could remember the first time she experienced the symptoms associated with it. She easily recalled standing at the front of her grade 4 classroom when the first wave of panic passed through her. She said that her heart beat more rapidly, her mouth became dry and her hands felt weak.

She managed to get through her short presentation, but the experience left her not wanting to feel the same ever again. That evening, she shared what had happened with her mother and her mother offered to speak to the teacher.

In response to the mother’s call, the teacher suggested that instead of standing in front of her peers again, and in order to avoid feeling anxious, that he would accommodate her by allowing her to present to him alone during a lunch break. Both mom and daughter were relieved to hear this.

However, two years later, and feeling anxious in other situations such as when she was asked to take a small part in the end of year school play and even when a waiter in a restaurant asked what she wanted to order, her mother called on me to help. A bright young girl and very self aware, she responded very maturely to my question about whether or not the accommodations were helping her overcome her anxiety. She had already concluded that they weren’t and in fact, realized that they may be making the anxiety worse. When asked what she felt was the best way to overcome her anxiety of speaking in front of her classmates, she astutely shared that in order to overcome her anxiety, she needed to do what she was afraid of. I was very impressed that she responded in this way because she was absolutely right.

For children who are younger, I sometimes share the story of the fear monster and how avoiding him only makes him bigger and stronger. It is like, I say, feeding the fear monster. The only way to have the fear monster shrivel up and disappear is to confront him. However, I know that this is often easier said than done. Its hard to confront the

fear monster if you don’t have the tools to ward him off or the self confidence to stand up to him. So, often children are helped by recognizing the warning signs of feeling afraid, where in their bodies the feelings are most intense and how to calm themselves. They are also helped by knowing that once fear has reached a ten out of ten, it won’t get any higher and so it has to come down. They are also helped by knowing that fear is a normal human emotion and that they don’t have to get rid of fear, just know how to face it.

Often, its helpful to give children the words to say inside of their heads. Words such as, “I know why I am feeling this way. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my peers. However, nothing bad is going to happen. I wont freak out or run out of the classroom. All of my classmates probably feel the same as me when they’re up here, too. I’m going to do the best that I can and when its over, I will feel proud of myself for getting through it and each time I do, it will get a little bit easier and I will feel less anxious.” I know that this is a long script, but depending on your child, it can be condensed or just discussed ahead of time.

Most children (and adults too), prefer not to have all eyes on them. Most also fear forgetting their lines or steps in a dance. Some are afraid that some catastrophic event will happen while they’re being watched. If your child falls within this majority, try to help him with the knowledge that this is quite normal – plenty of people feel this way!

With coaching from you, or in more extreme situations, getting professional help, he can work towards developing the confidence to confront what he is afraid of and not let fear stop him from participating in regular activities.

PRESCHOOL If a preschooler is showing signs of being anxious, just know that this is an entirely normal developmental phase and don’t push her too hard to get over it. However, if the anxiety persists beyond the normal stage, then you might consider your role in helping or hindering the anxiety.

Of course, with this age group, you can’t approach fear from a cognitive behavioural perspective as you would with an older child who can reflect and process thoughts differently.

SCHOOL AGED Normalizing fear is important. However, in age appropriate language, helping your child recognize that running away from fear would make it worse, is important. Remind your child of a time when she tackled something she was afraid of and how this helped her feel more confident the next time. If your child can’t remember a time that she tackled fear, perhaps you can share a time when you did and how this impacted you.

TEENS Teens are particularly self conscious and it doesn’t take much for them to feel that all eyes are on them, and it makes them especially uncomfortable when they really are. This age group is particularly able to employ more of a cognitive behavioural approach when addressing fear and are able to reflect on what they are feeling, when and how.

Sara Dimerman is a psychologist, author and parenting expert in the Greater Toronto Area. Read more at helpmesara.com.

For confidence help, go to ParentsCanada.com/ faceyourfears

DOES YOUR CHILD SUFFER FROM STAGE FRIGHT DURING DANCE RECITALS OR CLASS PRESENTATIONS?

10

37%

63%

YES

NO .com FA L L 2 0 1 7

“My children tend to have very mild stage fright, but when they feel shy or anxious, I just talk them through it and always give them the option to back out. It isn't worth the stress.” –MORGAN

“My daughter has a yearly dance recital and they do a dress rehearsal a few nights prior to the actual show. It helps performing for 20 or so people before having a packed house.” –SERENA

“I stand right where they can see me so they know they are supported the whole way through.”

–MARGARET

It’s a work in progress because my daughter suffers from selective mutism. She will whisper to people once she warms up to them, and has a couple of friends she will speak to. We don’t push, or set expectations for her to talk as it is all anxiety driven and we don’t want to make it any worse for her. We just try to make her feel comfortable about those around her.” –TRACY

“Encourage them, but don’t let them back out.” –ALANA The Lone Ranger was the first TV show ever to be shown in reruns.

Shutterstock/© aerogondo2

How do you help your child through their fears of performing in public?

Time out UP FRONT PARENTING

Travel WORTHY

He

Skinfix Friction Guard

T H AT ’ S W H AT

Said.

Most surprising thing about becoming a dad: › How long everything now takes...

oh, and how much your heart grows, too!

Favourite dad job: › Tub-time!

Least favourite dad job? › Diaper bin take-out. Pukefest!

Where you shine as a parent: › My forehead...I’m losing hair

quickly. My wife says I’m good at feeding though.

What you should work on: › Patience

What do you hope for your son? › That he is happy and feels

like he belongs somewhere.

J O N M O N TG O M E RY Jon Montgomery, gold-medal skeleton racer and host of Amazing Race Canada knows how to face obstacles head-on. His current challenge: adjusting to parenthood with new son, Jaxon, age one.

How do you deal with being away from your family for work? › Facetime. And enjoying

your work helps!

Do you do ALL the challenges on Amazing Race Canada?

Travel tips for families: › Take your time and don’t feel stressed if

you hold people up. – you are going to hold people up! If they lose their s**t, that’s on them and not you! I have to remind myself of this often, as I don’t like to feel like I’m inconveniencing someone around me.

Favourite challenge you’ve done:

Some kid sports are eliminating the “competition factor” (ie: everybody gets a trophy). How do you feel about that?

› Probably the scariest one:

› I feel sorry for the kids who won’t have

› You bet! Except dancing.

Jon don’t dance.

jumping off the Macau Tower in China at 762 feet high!

Least favourite challenges: › Eating the gross foods.

Advice for kids who want to be athletes: › Start by just playing... anything!

Let’s get real. Humid locales and activity can cause chafing. Spray a little Friction Guard to prevent skin irritation. It really works!

Available at Shoppers Drug Mart, Pharmaprix, skinfix.com, $16

another chance to learn some of these valuable life lessons while they are young; but, they’ll get their education one way or another. The consequences for being lazy, not working well with others, having poor sportsmanship, and never learning the value in losing will be astronomically higher if they learn these things later in life – because the laws that govern this world do not change simply because we feel children are too young to learn them.

Passport Wallets Go a little stylish with your travel documents with these cute wallets. Look for the matching luggage tags, too.

Available at Indigo, indigo.ca, $18

For more fun with famous parents go to ParentsCanada.com/celebrities

Only five percent of the stars in our galaxy are bigger than the sun.

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UP FRONT PARENTING

Touchy Subject

PUCKERUP Social media photos of Victoria and David Beckham kissing their kids on the lips sparked some debate. So we want to know: Is it OK to kiss your kids on the lips?

MATHEW LAJOIE :: I’ve never had an opinion about parents kissing their children on the lips. That is, until I became a father and was cast into the opinion-drenched world of moms and dads. Who knew an innocent peck could draw such a distinct line in the sand between parents? Well, pucker up and kiss my assenting stance on lip kissing.

My views on the topic stem from my upbringing – I was raised by lip kissing parents and it was always simply a sign of affection in our family.

The thought of it being anything more than a simple statement of familial love from my parents never crossed my mind.

Fast forward to the present. I kiss my six-year-old son on the lips nearly every day. It’s how we say good night; it’s how I wish him a good school day.

It is our normal and our little pecks on the lips live in the same realm as hugs, high fives, smiles and other means of communicating affirmations of love to my son..

In an interview, Dr. Alan Manevitz, clinical psychiatrist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, says, “Research suggests that intimacy between parents and children has a positive effect on a child's development. Intimacy in this case refers to displays of affection such as holding, hugging, tickling or kissing a child.”

What’s more, in European cultures it’s common for adults, children, friends and other family members to kiss each other on the lips and cheeks. This is not considered sexual but is an accepted, platonic means of showing affection.

In the end it comes down to family dynamics, cultural norms, experience with outward affection, and how people communicate. For us, lip kissing is just one positive, physical way to show affection.

LIZ HASTINGS :: If you’re asking yourself, “If I can’t kiss my kids on the lips, who can I kiss on the lips?” the answer is your partner – that’s it.

I grew up in a house where we didn’t show a lot of physical affection. I used to go over to my friend’s house and when her Dad came in the door, everyone would pucker up for a kiss on the lips. I wondered if they were part of a cult.

I can’t talk about kissing without disclosing I have been prone to cold sores my entire life. I have worked exceptionally hard to keep germs away from my mouth. Kids eat bugs, they eat glue, they eat bugs dipped in glue.

They put their hands in the dirt and then in their mouths. They wipe and miss. Pucker up? No thanks.

The lines can become blurred if parents aren’t mindful. Andrea P., a daycare provider for Wellington County, Ont. has children attempting to kiss her on the lips all day, every day and has to discuss boundaries and personal space regularly. If you are kissing your kids on the lips at home, they can mistake this type of “family intimacy” as being widely acceptable while out in public with near strangers.

A friend arrives for a dinner party and always greets me with a kiss on the lips. It starts a weird domino of embraces and awkward lip kissing among the other guests while I think a closed fist bump or an “aye-aye captain!” salute would keep the germs at bay and keep people guessing about what other awesome hands-to-yourselves gestures we have planned.

Then her son says something rude to his sibling and another parent says, “Do you kiss your Mom with that mouth?” I hope not.

Expert Advice My association with lip kissing is related to close intimacy between romantic partners. As a result, I feel uncomfortable when other adults kiss me on the lips and typically turn my head so that their lips meet my cheek, whenever possible.

Although there may be families or cultures within which lip kissing between parents and children is considered acceptable, I believe that since most people feel more comfortable being kissed on the cheek by people, other than their romantic partners, that I prefer to model this to my children and to advise other parents to do the same, when I am asked.

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It’s always fine – they are my kids!

57%

It’s OK up to the toddler age

19%

It’s OK up to the school age

15%

It’s inappropriate

9%

Did this spark a conversation?

Read more at ParentsCanada.com/touchysubject

KISS bassist Gene Simmons speaks four languages and has a B.A. in education.

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HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT KISSING YOUR KIDS ON THE LIPS?

Sara Dimerman, psychologist and parenting expert, weighs in:

UP FRONT PARENTING

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LITTLE miss

perfect WHEN CHILDREN – AND MORE OFTEN GIRLS – HOLD THEMSELVES TO TOO HIGH A STANDARD, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES CAN BE THE RESULT.

It was the night before her major project was due and Rebecca Zarins was sick with worry.

She was trying to build a miniature model of an earthquake-proof house. “I wanted to get all the details just right – the stairs, the windows, everything,“ she says. “I wanted it to live up to my teacher’s expectations.” But time was running out. Rebecca had delayed, delayed and delayed beginning the assignment, feeling utterly daunted by the prospect. Now she was tense and anxious and her chest began to hurt. And when she realized she’d forgotten to add a foundation to the plans, she was furious at herself. “I just felt like I’d really failed,” she says.

Strangely, far from being an under-achiever, Rebecca had all the makings of the golden child. “People thought of me as that kid who knows what she’s doing,” she says. She was maintaining an over 90 percent average in her new gifted Grade 5 program, even helping her schoolmates with their homework.

But looks can be deceiving. Under the winning façade, Rebecca was tormented by setting impossibly high standards. “My identity depended on being the smart kid,” she says. If she got a 91 and another student scored a 96, she would tell herself, “I didn’t try my hardest” or “I’m not good enough”. Even when others commended her on her work, she never felt like she deserved it. “If I painted something and people would praise it, I would only see all the little mistakes,” she says.

Rebecca Zarins is not alone. Five to 10 percent of tweens and teens suffer from what psychologists refer to as perfectionism, says Jillian Roberts, child psychologist in clinical practice and Psychology Professor at the University of Victoria. Because girls tend to internalize problems while boys act out, they’re more susceptible to the condition.

And the epidemic of perfectionism is spreading, says Jillian. The explosion of social media provides a constant reminder of how kids are failing to measure up to each other. Facebook allows users to gage their popularity continuously through the number of “likes” garnered for selfies and other posts. And when announcements go unnoticed, their confidence plummets even further. Social media also play havoc with perfectionists’ already low self-image by distorting reality, says York University’s Psychology Professor Gordon Flett. “Students are chronically comparing themselves on Facebook where there are fake displays of ideal life,” he says. These phony portraits make them feel even more inadequate, says Gordon.

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Alexander Graham Bell tried to teach his dog to talk.

Shutterstock.com: ©Chones /©Billion Photos/ Opposite page: ©Alexandru Logel

BY VIVIEN FELLEGI

FIVE TO TEN PERCENT OF TWEENS AND TEENS SUFFER FROM “PERFECTIONISM”.

Quote goes here

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If you’re thinking you’d be thrilled to raise an overachiever like Rebecca, think again. Far from leading to success, perfectionistic striving can backfire, says Gordon. Perfectionists set an unreasonably high bar for themselves and when they feel they’ve fallen short, they torment themselves with thoughts such as “I should have known better,” and “I’m a loser.” Some kids are so crippled by a fear of failure that they can’t deal

SOME KIDS ARE SO CRIPPLED BY A FEAR OF FAILURE THAT THEY CAN’T DEAL WITH TESTS AND HAND IN ASSIGNMENTS LATE OR NOT AT ALL.

with tests and hand in assignments late or not at all. Academic performance can take a hit, says Gordon.

The self-critical talk can also lead to depression and anxiety, says Jillian. Physical symptoms often compound the suffering – perfectionistic youth often pull out their hair, develop stomach aches, exhaustion, and have problems sleeping, she says.

Unfortunately many perfectionists are so invested in keeping up a façade of normality that they avoid seeking help. And that reluctance to reveal their turmoil can have grave consequences.

A paper published last year by Gordon in the Review of General Psychology drew attention to the strong correlation between perfectionism and suicide.

Fortunately Rebecca never tried to take her own life. But she nonetheless spiraled downhill as her perfectionism ballooned out of control. She was overcome with anxiety. Just talking to her peers became a challenge, as she agonized over the “right thing” to say. At home she took out her frustration on her younger sister, goading her into fights. Rebecca also developed trouble sleeping, “felt down about everything all the time,” and cried at the drop of a hat. She didn’t want to leave her house. “I was very hopeless,” she says.

She finally reached her breaking point a year after her symptoms began. She woke up with crushing chest pain and her mother took her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with severe depression and referred to a counselor.

Not all young perfectionists need to see a therapist, says Jillian. If a child’s symptoms are stable and they feel generally OK, parents can try to sort out their issues. Most importantly,

Dalhousie University in Halifax has its own nuclear reactor.

Shutterstock.com: © Gladskikh Tatiana

A

lingering sense of inadequacy is in fact the root cause of perfectionism, says Jillian. “You don’t feel okay just the way you are, so you’re compensating for that feeling of unworthiness by making everything perfect.” While genetics make some kids susceptible to these anxious broodings, stress can aggravate their predilection to perfectionism, says Gordon. “Perfectionists are striving to get a sense of control over uncontrollable things,” he says. Excessive demands at school are one of the main challenges faced by tweens and teens, he says. “This can lead to highly stressed students who don’t sleep enough and don’t have fun,” he says. Combine that with other sources of teenage angst, including pushy parents, family conflict and a shaky employment market where even well-educated kids can’t nail down a starter job, and you have the recipe for nail-biting kids, says Jillian.

In Rebecca’s case, a volatile mix of several different elements fed into her perfectionism. First, the breakup of her parents’ marriage shattered her sense of stability. She found moving back and forth between her parents’ homes stressful and she hated being caught in the middle of their arguments. Perfectionism became a coping mechanism for her. “I couldn’t control their relationship but I could control how I did things,” she says.

Moving to the gifted program in a new school further exacerbated her wobbly sense of self. Used to being the best in her class, her self-esteem took a blow when she encountered students whose achievements eclipsed her own.

“It was a shock – I worried that maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought I was,” she says.

the experts advise, parents need to educate themselves about perfectionism and connect with their children and try to figure out why they feel the way they do. Perfectionists believe that love and approval are contingent on their achievements. The most potent remedy is simply spending time with your kids, helping them feel cared for unconditionally, says Gordon.

It can also help if you’re able to put kids’ annoyances into perspective, says Jillian. If your child is upset about a poor grade, you can tell him “I know you didn’t do as well as you wanted. But it’s only Grade 9 and universities won’t be looking at this mark.” Parents also need to model healthy ways of reacting to their own mistakes, says Jillian. “Don’t fret when you spill milk,” she says.

Tell kids “Sometimes I have a bad day.” Making balanced assessments of trials help children develop their own inner language for coping with setbacks, she says. Parents can teach kids self-compassion when they slip up, says Gordon.

“Rather than criticize yourself, acknowledge the error but see it as an opportunity to grow and develop,” he says.

Volunteering is another helpful strategy to overcome perfectionism, says Gordon.

Contributing to society helps foster self-esteem in perfectionists and directs their attention away

PEI could fit into Lake Ontario...three times!

from their perceived flaws and onto the needs of others. “You can feel good about yourself in a way that has nothing to do with meeting goals,” says Gordon.

Still, there may be limits to what parents can accomplish, says Jillian. If kids are feeling deeply distressed, and their symptoms are worsening, they should see a counsellor, she says. Therapists can help children identify stressors and create strategies to defuse them, as well as training them to replace negative thinking patterns with positive affirmations, she says.

For Rebecca, the referral to a therapist helped rebuild her shattered self. “Just being able to talk to someone helped,” she says. The counsellor showed her how to tune in to her feelings and identify them. Verbalizing her conflicts was also useful. “I would release my emotions instead of funneling them into work and trying to get everything right,” she says.

Coping strategies such as controlled breathing helped her manage stress as well. But most importantly, the counsellor helped Rebecca learn to like herself. “She helped me to feel better about who I was so I didn’t have to always prove myself,” she says.

Today Rebecca is thriving in her Grade 12 class.

Her focus is no longer restricted to achievements.

”I don’t find my identity in what I do as much as in who I am,” she says. She gets satisfaction from her involvement in a Christian youth ministry, and enjoys reaching out to the kids who attend the drop-in program. ”I don’t feel I have to impress them – the focus is on what I can do for them.”

Every once in a while her perfectionism still rears its ugly head but she’s developed the ability to restrain it. “If I do something that’s not the best, I still wish it could be better but I’m okay with it,” she says.

Most importantly, she feels positive about her future. She’s interested in studying architecture, but applying to university programs is stressful.

She worries about not getting in. But she’s much more flexible about her options and she has other passions that she knows will create a satisfying life. “My goal is not to be successful in society but rather to be happy with myself and to make the world a better place,” she says.

Rebecca has some hard-won advice for other youth suffering from perfectionism. “Lose that need to be in perfect control. Let someone else help you,” she says. There is hope for those who do reach out. “You can have so much more to your life than just working hard,” she says.

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ADVENTURES in BABYSITTING WHY YOUR FAMILY NEEDS A TEENAGE BABYSITTER… AND WHY THEY NEED YOU.

BY LEISSE WILCOX

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Helen Keller could identify her friends by their odors.

Shutterstock.com: © goodmoments/ © Yzoa

I

couldn’t help but smile when I opened the invitation from the mail and read: “Happy 18th Birthday Lily Grace! Amazing people do not just happen; its takes a village.” Lily is, and has been, the go-to babysitter for the past three years for my three girls, and it almost took me aback that she was already 18. What made me smile was that while Lily has been a part of the village raising my kids, I didn’t even realize that we had been a part of the village that raised her.

This got me thinking about why every family needs a good teenage babysitter, and why every teenage babysitter needs a good family.

Many parents lament that they never go out any more. They remember the days of having a social life, and miss that aspect of their relationship not only with themselves and their friends, but especially with their partner or spouse. Too often, the answer to “Do you have a babysitter?” is met with “No; we don’t have any family near by.”

Regardless of geography, parents need to go out and be grown-ups, which requires calling for back-up. But some parents find it really challenging to leave their littles with someone who isn’t related to them. It seems that while we were growing up, our generation was accustomed to not only being babysat, but also to babysitting (anyone else have a mild obsession with starting her own local chapter of The Baby-Sitters Club?). As our generation became parents however, it seems that unless said babysitter has a degree in Montessori education, is a trained ECE, or is a bonafide blood relative, parents are staying in and watching a whole lotta Netflix.

Julie, a 36-year-old Toronto-based marketing director, says that for her and her husband, sitters aren't an option. “Mainly it is a trust thing. Only family. I want to know that whoever is with my kids loves them like we do.

We never did daycare either, wanting to raise our own babies; we have always found a way to make it work.

Sometimes that has meant financial sacrifices, sometimes it has meant sacrifices in our relationship.”

The relationship issue is a common thread when talking about families and babysitting. Any parent knows – sometimes too well – the struggle that comes along with maintaining an active Stenophobia is the fear of narrow spaces.

YOUR DO + DON’T GUIDE TO FINDING A BABYSITTER IN YOUR OWN VILLAGE

do ❯ Start with your friends and ask them for their recommendations. ❯ Ask high school teachers or other community leaders tapped into teen communities to connect you with great kids. ❯ Pay attention to people in your peripheral social network. While at fitness classes, restaurants, in line at the grocery store…keep your ears open for people with teens who are looking for jobs. ❯ Start slow. Foster the relationship between your kids and your sitter with a trial run for an hour or two in the day, and progress from there. ❯ Be clear on your expectations upfront: If you expect that the kitchen be cleaned after dinner as part of the gig, be honest about it. ❯ Honour your time commitment.

If you say you’ll be gone two hours, be gone two hours. ❯ Pony up. $10 an hour while your kids are awake and active is pretty standard; maybe less if it’s a quieter night without putting anyone to bed. Have the cash on you!

don’t ❯ Worry. Seriously. Even the clingiest of kids will cry for 15 minutes max before they realize the fun that comes from being cared for by someone who’s not their parent. ❯ Call to check in. If you’re needed, your sitter knows how to reach you. Trust that it’s all under control, and enjoy the break. ❯ Think that only girls will babysit.

Boys are more than capable to babysit. It’s time to toss that gender role stereotype out the window. ❯ Forget about the ride home. Yes, some teens can drive themselves home, and others might have parents who will come to pick them up. Ultimately it’s your responsibility to ensure their safe arrival though, so don’t get too tipsy.

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While earning some money, getting real life work experience, and helping to shape your kids, your sitter is being shaped by you, too.

love life with not only your physical, but your social intimacy. It’s easy to divide and conquer to cope with the logistic challenges that young children add to your dynamic as a couple, and to slip onto the slope of putting your marriage on auto pilot. Add to that any financial stress or physical fatigue that can play a recurring role in the theatre of family life, and suddenly eat, sleep, binge watch, repeat becomes the standard.

Amy, a 34-year-old stay-at-home mom, felt strongly in the earliest days of becoming a parent that they do everything together as a family, rather than as a couple. “But then I realized the toll it was taking on our relationship, and now we have our babysitter come once a week, so that we can go out together, the two of us.” Being able to enjoy that time as a couple is freeing. The chance to be yourselves, just as you were before your little darlings arrived, is precious – and essential to relationship health. Investing in your relationship through nurturing your collective hobbies and interests is what keeps you both fresh, flirty and vibrant. And when your relationship is in that healthy, loving and playful state, guess what? You are better parents.

As for the teens – what do they gain from babysitting your kids? Lily says, “Babysitting has made me a lot more independent. Just the experience of being in charge and responsible was the little push I needed. The bigger you are to another person, to see yourself the way they see you… it feels so empowering. It’s really helped my strength of self.”

While earning some money, getting real life work experience, and helping to shape your kids, your sitter is being shaped by you, too.

“Sometimes our sitter comes over just to talk; she talks to me in a way that she won’t talk to her parents” says Marie, a 40-year-old VPM turned homemaker in Cobourg, Ont. Her husband William, a 35-year-old realtor, adds that as adults they “respond to her in a different way than

her parents would.” Being put in the position of controlled responsibility and supervised independence by trusting adults, contributes a lot to adolescent development. Cue the next layer of the “village” dynamic.

There’s no doubt it is our job as parents to raise our kids to be social beings who function beautifully as part of a group. The reality is that they won’t learn all of that from us. They need other strong role models in their lives to help demonstrate what that means from a different perspective. Similarly, the not-yet-adults-butno-longer-kids in our villages need people other than their parents to learn the same lessons.

In the simple act of hiring a teenager to occasionally look after our littles, we get to be adults, our kids get to be kids, teens get to be teens, and across all these layers we’re raising the village. We are giving our kids the experience of being off-leash within a contained yard, and allowing them to see things from a fresh and fun perspective, learning that Mom and Dad always come back. We are teaching teens responsibility and empathy, dissolving apathy, and installing a sense of connection and inter dependence. We are prepping them for future jobs and providing the problem solving skills and accountability that goes along with it. Plus they also get some rudimentary childcare experience for when they have their own families.

In doing so we are giving ourselves the opportunity to be “us,” taking the necessary time to nourish all the parts of us that make us feel grown up and whole (which really means we get to go out and act like kids). Doing what makes us happy, fostering our sense of connection to ourselves and to each other, and investing in the very parts that make us the best parents we can be, makes for a happy, healthy village.

For more on leaving your little ones Go to ParentsCanada.com/babysitting

Canada’s highest town: Banff at 1,383 metres.

TRAVEL

Dolphin

TALES

PLANNING A FAMILY VACAY? Duck Key, Florida and The Coral at Atlantis, Paradise Island in The Bahamas are two destinations sure to please. And the best part? Dolphins.

JANICE BIEHN

The collection of docks in Duck Key, Florida, looks like a summer camp in Northern Ontario, with floating wooden pathways creating two distinct swimming areas. But the US #1 highway with its iconic supporting arches stretches across the horizon in the backdrop dividing the Atlantic Ocean from the Gulf of Mexico. And that sun blazes down like nothing felt in Ontario. Another key difference – it’s not little kids frolicking in the water, but a pod of five dolphins.

This is Dolphin Connection, about 170 km south of Miami. The facility holds multiple accreditations in marine animal care and offers an intimate, hands-on educational experience not available at marine amusement parks.

Swimming with dolphins is a dream for lots of kids, but with recent documentaries about the plight of captive water mammals at amusement parks, eco-minded parents are steering away from these sorts of facilities.

So there’s no swimming with dolphins here.

Nor is there a theatre for watching any kind of uber-choreographed show. Instead, visitors lie tummy-own on the dock and meet the dolphins, pretty much nose-to-nose. Some of its programs allow you to get even closer by standing on a

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platform in the water. But actually swimming with them goes against the goals of the program, says dolphin trainer Natalie Thompson. “We want to give our participants more time with the dolphins and swimming with them takes away from the interaction. Our program really allows for a lot of up close and personal time.”

In fact almost all of the training the dolphins have received – and are quite willing to show off – has been done for the ability to study and research the dolphins. For example, when the dolphin rests his tail in your lap, it’s so the trainer can draw blood for testing. They are routinely monitored and information is shared with other marine facilities and universities.

Dolphin Connection is a unique way to introduce or reinforce ocean conservation with your kids. The trainers are passionate about using the dolphin experience as a way to spark interest in ocean conservation and pollution.

Guests are encouraged to make a simple pledge to stop using plastic bags, which are known to have long-lasting negative impacts on marine life.

This 45-minute Dolphin Discovery program includes 20 minutes of instruction in the outdoor classroom, then 25 minutes to hug, kiss and

play with the dolphins. Guests can stand on submerged, deep-water platforms to interact with the dolphins but you can also swim into the lagoon for some special interaction with our dolphins. Staff are quick to point out this will NOT mean holding on to the dolphin’s dorsal fin and being pulled in the water, the typical image of swimming with dolphins. Must be 4’6” minimum to participate. ($179 plus tax per person.)

If that sounds a bit too rich or interactive, the Dockside Dolphin program is a 15-minute classroom session followed by 15 minutes with the dolphins from the dry comfort of the docks.

No height or age restrictions. ($69 plus tax per person.)

For folks who really want to get up close and personal with the dolphins, be a Trainer for a Day. This three-hour session gets you behind the scenes with the Dolphin Connection training team. Participants have one-on-one time with the trainer and are involved in various handson activities in the care and training of our dolphins. Must be at least 10 years old and 4’6” to participate. ($329 plus tax per person.)

In Iceland, tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult.

Shutterstock.com: © Alexandru Logel

Duck Key | FLORIDA | B Y

The Coral, Atlantis, Paradise Island | THE BAHAMAS | When it comes to Atlantis, it is luxury all the way. The resort is adorned with elaborate art, the restaurants serve mouth-watering meals and the grounds are immaculate.

And with this top-of-the-line, upscale environment, I found it surprising to discover how family-friendly the resort actually is.

To begin, The Coral is newly renovated and offers a welcoming vibe for all members of the family. It is one of the more affordable option at Atlantis, perfect for a multi-generational trip.

You’ll find a kids’ concierge in the lobby, with experts ready to help with activities, child menus, strollers and childcare.

Not far from the kid’s concierge is Sun & Ice, an ice cream parlour that might just serve the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted. Bahamian chef Wayne Moncur created recipes reminding him of the islands, including Benny Cake Crumble and Soursop.

You won’t find these flavours anywhere else, so you’ll want to go back for seconds. Or, you can hit up the Coral’s swim-up bar, which serves Pop Stop gourmet pops, with flavours

like pineapple basil and strawberry watermelon.

Outside The Coral, aside from the immaculate white sand beach and clear blue waters, kids have a wide array of activities to keep them busy.

There are amazing waterslides (that parents will love, too), an incredible splash pad and a (not-so) lazy river. Plus, there are aquariums and ponds full of sealife everywhere you turn.

A highlight for my daughter was stopping by Dolphin Cay, getting up close and personal with the smiley creatures (some of which were rescued during hurricane Katrina).

Though the dolphins are talented and have an arsenal of tricks, they are not here to perform. Dolphin Cay is their home and guests are asked to respect that. You can also meet a playful sealion or two.

In the evenings, teens can hang out at Crush, an unbelievable club that rivals any adult club I’ve ever seen, featuring a dance floor, massive gaming stadium and Internet lounge. Parents aren’t even allowed inside!

Kids must sign in and out, and Internet usage is monitored.

Green turtles lay 1,800 eggs in a lifetime.

BY AMY BIELBY

Everything is safe and well supervised, so parents can feel at ease.

Little ones can head to The Atlantis Kids Adventures Club (or AKA) to enjoy a pretend grocery store, a Lego construction room, a “life size” Victorian Doll House and so much more. My daughter was a little nervous during her stay here, which was unusual for her, but the staff was kind and patient. She was thrilled to go back the next day for a cooking class. (We made the most delicious pineapple tarts!)

We were lucky enough to take part in a mini Junkanoo celebration (think: Caribana) the night before we left. My daughter lead the parade, whistle in her mouth, wearing a mask she had made of feathers and seashells, and dancing away to the loud music. And that’s what I really love about Atlantis: their push to make the resort a truly Bahamian experience. They bring in local chefs, artists, customs and cuisine, and that’s what I want when I’m on vacation: I want to feel as though I’ve soaked in some of the country’s culture.

Most of the rooms at the Coral have two double beds, which is ideal for families, and many rooms are connecting.

But as nice as the rooms are, the beach is where it’s at!

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EATING

Chew on This

ASK A DIETITIAN I’ve heard of the concept of filling half your plate with fruits and vegetables. Does this also hold true for children? If so, I do have some concerns about food costs and the time involved in their preparation. Do you have any tips about these issues?

Yes, filling half your plate with fruits and vegetables is definitely a healthy way to go for the whole family – except for infants whose nutritional needs are different.

Eating more produce packed with nutrients and assorted health-promoting compounds offers a variety of perks including easier weight management and a decreased likelihood of developing many chronic diseases. Yet Canadians fall short on meeting the recommended number of servings of these foods on a daily basis. As a result, the Canadian Produce Marketing Association, the Heart and Stroke Foundation, the Canadian Public Health Association and the Canadian Cancer Society have teamed up to improve fruit and veggie consumption in Canada through an initiative called Half Your Plate at halfyourplate.ca. Check it out as it’s got plenty of helpful resources for you including recipes and videos.

A redesign of your family’s dinner plate can help put you on the right track. But you’re not alone if you feel there are barriers to boosting your family’s intake. Cost, availability and time for preparation are common concerns but they need not stand in the way.

Here are some tips to incorporate more of these nutritious eats into meals. ❯ To reduce costs, buy in season as some fruits and vegetables are cheaper when they are in season. But as we live in Canada where the growing season is short, consider frozen, canned and dried produce to keep prices down. In addition, use a shopping list and compare flyers to plan your menu. Then buy more when they’re on special and then prepare them in a dish that can be frozen. ❯ Frozen and canned fruits and vegetables are not just convenient, but are also often cheaper. They can sometimes be more nutritious than fresh as they are processed at the peak of their nutritional quality. Be sure to skip the ones with sauces and added ingredients such as salt. ❯ When buying canned vegetables, look for those low in salt or rinse them well before using. Canned fruits are convenient and can be a cost saving choice, but choose those canned in juice rather than in sugar. ❯ Look for time-saving products in the produce aisle. At the recent Canadian Produce Marketing Association Convention in Toronto, there were

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many brand-new convenience items on display that will soon be in supermarkets such spiralized zucchini and sweet potatoes along with all manner of chopped and ready-to-cook or eat produce.

But don’t just use them in traditional ways. For example, instead of a side salad, you can add a chopped coleslaw mix to your vegetable soup for a quick preparation. ❯ Half your plate goes for all meals and snacks.

Keeping a list of possibilities on the fridge can help

CO O K B O O K

noo K

make it happen more easily. Top cereal with some berries or banana, add some veggies to an omelette or have a sliced orange with breakfast. Munch on fruit or vegetable sticks with a yogurt or hummus dip at snack time and include vegetable toppings on sandwiches or marinate leftover vegetables from dinner for a quick lunch salad.

Rosie Schwartz is a consulting dietitian in private practice in Toronto and author of The Enlightened Eater’s Whole Foods Guide (Viking Canada). Read more at rosieschwartz.com.

b y B O N N I E YO U N G

Vegetarian Any Day

by Patricia Green and Carolyn Hemming By no means is this a prescriptive take on vegetarianism. Instead it is a wonderful collection of creative and delectable recipes that inspire and encourage us to eat meatless one or even a few times per week.

Extensive sections on alternative protein sources, vegetarian pantry staples and essential kitchen tools work to set the cook up for success as they dive into the wide array of recipes that follow.

My favourite recipe in the book is Crispy Buffalo Cauliflower Bites, which essentially tastes like a veggie version of chicken wings, especially when paired with the great blue cheese dip recipe. The Chipotle Sweet Potato Tacos with Grilled Pineapple Salsa is now a family favourite as is the Jamaican Jerk Tofu – even my meat-loving husband likes this, especially with the HEAT that comes from the whole scotch bonnet.

Vegetarian Any Day is a great way to introduce the spirit of Meatless Mondays to your family – any day of the week!

The School Year Survival Cookbook

by Laura Keogh and Ceri Marsh With their first cookbook, How to Feed a Family, Laura and Ceri learned firsthand how challenging and overwhelming it is to juggle nutrition, time management and picky eaters, especially during the busy school year. Their latest book offers concrete advice on everything from meal planning for the week, to stocking home pantries with essential building blocks for quick and nutritious meals – and, of course, wonderful recipes to please even the pickiest palate.

You'll find healthy, on-the-go breakfasts (my family loves the Blueberry Pie French Toast Muffins and Huevos Rancheros Breakfast Burritos), creative recipes and lunch combinations that are sure to keep even the choosiest kid engaged and excited about their lunch hour. My personal favourite section of the book is the “Transformers”, which contains recipes for cooking a protein once, but then transforming it into three separate meals. It’s a genius timesaver for any busy family on the go.

This book has earned a place on my shelf – and will be gifted many times over for all the busy parents in my circle.

For more on healthy eating go to ParentsCanada.com/nutrition

Fish have no salivary glands.

Shutterstock/ © Barbara Dudzinska

ROSIE SCHWARTZ, REGISTERED DIETITIAN, RESPONDS:

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PC Cooks

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There are 7,000 varieties of apple in North America alone.

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Squash can be so much more than a mashed side dish – it can actually act as a delicious main course.

Elephants love to drink alcohol.

Big, hardy and, yes, often warty, winter squash isn’t just a side dish, but worthy of the main event. Butternut, acorn, spaghetti squash and pumpkin are among the most recognizable, but those you may not be able to identify are worth bringing home, too. Although flavours subtly differ, there’s no reason you couldn’t use a Hubbard squash in your butternut soup.

Low in calories and loaded with fibre and beta-carotene, they store well and are more versatile than we often give them credit for.

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BUTTERNUT SQUASH LATKES SPAGHETTI SQUASH AND MEATBALLS

These tender, savoury pancakes are a quick, tasty way to cook up squash; serve them as is, or alongside roasted meat or fish.

1 small butternut squash (look for one with a thick neck)

When cooked, spaghetti squash separates easily into long strands with a fork, resembling spaghetti; a squash half acts as its own edible bowl to fill with saucy meatballs or chunky sauce, top with cheese and bake, pasta-style.

2 small spaghetti squash canola or olive oil, for cooking salt and pepper, to taste 12 meatballs, raw or cooked 2 cups tomato sauce 1/2 cup ricotta (optional) 1 cup grated mozzarella Preheat the oven to 400˚F. Cut the squash in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. Rub with oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and roast on a baking sheet for 30 minutes, or until tender. (Alternatively, cover with microwave safe plastic wrap

and microwave on high for 5–7 minutes, or until tender.)

2 green onions or 4-6 chives, finely chopped

If the meatballs are uncooked, brown them in a drizzle of oil in a skillet set over medium-high heat, then add the tomato sauce and simmer until they’re cooked through; alternatively, heat the cooked meatballs and tomato sauce. Put a spoonful of ricotta into each cooked squash half (if you like), top with a few meatballs and a spoonful of sauce, scatter with cheese and return to the oven for 10 minutes, or until the cheese melts. (Turn on the broiler for a minute if you want it golden.) Serves 4.

1/2 tsp curry paste or powder

PER SERVING (recipe made with 1 lb lean beef meatballs): 485 calories, 21.8 g fat (9.9 g saturated fat, 10.3 g monounsaturated fat, 1.6 g polyunsaturated fat), 113 mg cholesterol, 26.7 g carbohydrate, 4.2 g protein, 5.2 g fibre.

1 large egg 3 tbsp all-purpose flour salt and pepper, to taste canola or other mild vegetable oil, for cooking Grate the squash on the coarse side of a box grater; you should have about 3 cups. Place in a medium bowl and add the green onions (reserve a few for garnish, if you like), egg and curry paste or powder; stir to blend well.

Add the flour and some salt and pepper to taste; stir/toss with a fork to combine everything well.

Set a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add a generous drizzle of oil and drop small spoonfuls of the mixture into the hot skillet, pressing down with the back of a spoon to spread them out to about 2 inches in diameter.

Cook until golden on the bottom, then flip with a thin spatula and cook until golden on the other side. Repeat with the remaining squash mixture, adding more oil as needed. Serve warm, topped with extra green onions or chives, if you like. Serves 4.

PER SERVING: 212 calories, 11.7 g fat (1.2 g saturated fat, 7.1 g monounsaturated fat, 3.4 g polyunsaturated fat), 46 mg cholesterol, 24.8 g carbohydrate, 4.5 g protein, 3.8 g fibre.

SQUASH STUFFED WITH RICE, KALE AND BACON

You can stuff acorn or other smallersized squash with just about anything; it’s a great way to use up leftover rice or other grains, or bits of fresh or cooked veggies. Swap sausage for the bacon, if you like, or scatter the stuffed squash with grated aged cheddar and run under the broiler before serving. Scoop out some of the tender squash with each forkful of stuffing. Serve an entire half as a main dish, or cut each in half as a side.

2 small acorn squash canola or olive oil, for cooking salt and pepper, to taste 1 small onion, chopped 3–4 slices bacon, chopped 2 kale leaves, thinly sliced (discard ribs) 4–6 Brussels sprouts, thinly sliced (discard stems) 1 cup cooked rice, quinoa or other grains pumpkin seeds, for garnish (optional) Preheat the oven to 400˚F.

ROASTED WINTER VEGGIES WITH COUSCOUS AND FETA

Hardy veggies like sweet potatoes, carrots and parsnips cook in the same amount of time as winter squash, so you can roast them together and serve them with a quick couscous and some salty, briny feta.

canola or olive oil, for cooking salt and pepper, to taste 1 cup couscous 1 cup boiling water 1/2 cup crumbled feta Preheat the oven to 425˚F.

1–2 beets (optional) 1 small butternut squash, peeled and cubed 1 small sweet potato or yam, peeled and cubed 2 carrots, peeled and cut into chunks 1 parsnip, peeled and cut into chunks 1 small purple onion, cut into wedges

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If you want to include red beets without staining the other vegetables, wrap them in foil and bake for 30–45 minutes, or until tender. When they’re cool enough to handle, peel them with your fingers and cut into chunks; set aside.

Meanwhile, spread all the cubed veggies out in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet.

Drizzle with oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper and toss with

your hands to coat everything well. Roast for 30 minutes, stirring once or twice, until the veggies are tender and starting to turn golden on the edges.

Place the couscous in a heatproof bowl and pour the boiling water overtop. Cover with a plate or lid and let sit for 10 minutes, or until the moisture is absorbed; fluff with a fork. Add the roasted veggies, along with any oil that has accumulated on the bottom of the pan, and the crumbled feta. Serve immediately. Serves 6.

PER SERVING: 352 calories, 9.8 g fat (2.5 g saturated fat, 5.1 g monounsaturated fat, 2.2 g polyunsaturated fat), 11 mg cholesterol, 58.6 g carbohydrate, 8 g protein, 7.8 g fibre.

Cut the squash in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. Rub with oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and roast on a baking sheet for 30 minutes, or until tender.

Meanwhile, heat a drizzle of oil in a medium skillet set over medium-high heat and cook the onion and bacon until the bacon is cooked and the onion is soft. Add the kale and Brussels sprouts and cook for 2-3 minutes, until tender. Add the rice or other grains and cook for another minute, stirring to combine everything well.

Remove the squash from the oven and fill with the rice mixture. Top with pumpkin seeds and serve. Serves 4–8.

PER SERVING: 205 calories, 5 g fat (1.1 g saturated fat, 2.6 g monounsaturated fat, 1.2 g polyunsaturated fat), 6 mg cholesterol, 36 g carbohydrate, 6.9 g protein, 5 g fibre.

Horse meat is more popular in Sweden than lamb.

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EATING ›

cook once /eat twice

POT ROAST: Classic comfort Once reserved for special occasion suppers, a slowly braised pot roast is the perfect fall comfort food. It requires minimal prep – the oven does most of the work, transforming an inexpensive cut of meat into a tender, flavourful meal, with veggies simmered on the side.

Slide it into the slow cooker in the morning or into the oven after school and it will be ready by dinnertime, with leftovers for lunch or dinner the next day. B Y J U L I E V A N R O S E N D A A L

TRADITIONAL POT ROAST You could make a pot roast of any size, and the 3-hour cooking time would still apply – just add more stock and veggies to the pot. Alternatively, cook your pot roast in the slow cooker on low for 4–6 hours, adding the carrots and potatoes for the last hour or so of cooking time, so they don’t break down too much.

1 3 lb (1.5 kg) beef roast (chuck, brisket, inside or outside round) canola or olive oil, for cooking salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 large onion, halved and thinly sliced 1/2–1 cup red wine (optional) 2–3 cups beef, chicken or vegetable stock 2–3 sprigs fresh thyme, rosemary or both 2 large or 4–6 small carrots, cut into 2-inch pieces 1/2 lb new potatoes, halved if larger Preheat the oven to 300˚F. Set a cast iron or braising pot on the stovetop over medium-high heat. Pat the roast dry with paper towel, add a generous drizzle of oil to the pot, and brown the roast on all sides, sprinkling each with salt and pepper as you turn it. Transfer to a plate and put the onions into the pot; cook for 2–3 minutes, stirring often. Add the wine and stir to loosen any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Return the roast to the pot, sitting it on top of the onions, and add enough stock to come about halfway up the side of the meat.

Add the sprigs of rosemary or thyme, cover and cook for about 1 1/2 hours. Remove from the oven, baste the meat with the juices, and add the carrots and potatoes, scattering them around the roast. Cover and return to the oven for another hour, or until the meat is very tender and the veggies are fork-tender.

Slice and serve the roast with the veggies, drizzled with the cooking juices.

Serves 6 with leftovers.

PER SERVING: 348 calories, 11.7 g fat (4 g saturated fat, 6.3 g monounsaturated fat, 1.4 g polyunsaturated fat), 149 mg cholesterol, 10 g carbohydrate, 51.1 g protein, 1.7 g fibre.

COTTAGE PIE: Roughly chop any leftover meat, veggies and onions, moistening it with the leftover gravy. Add 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce and a handful of peas, and spread in a baking dish that will accommodate it. (You could make cottage pie for many, or just enough for one or two.) Top with mashed potatoes and bake at 350˚F for 20–30 minutes until the potatoes are pale golden and the filling is starting to bubble around the edge.

For more leftover ideas go to ParentsCanada.com/quickmeals

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A single tiger can eat six tons of meat a year – the equivilent of 60,000 hamburgers.

INSET: Shutterstock.com/© hlphoto

Cottage pie

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What’s in STORE?

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›› 1. Halls Kids Pops Ward off colds with these kids’ lozenges in a fun lollipop format. Available in Vitamin C and Cough and Sore Throat (strawberry or cherry). Available at major retailers. $7 ›› 2. Ziptuck Kids Reusable Bags These reusable bags are leak/spill proof and dishwasher safe. With three designs to choose from – monsters, dinosaurs and emojis – kids will love toting their snacks to school in an environmentally friendly way. Available at amazon.com. Prices vary. ›› 3. Tetley Herbal Iced Tea With lemon ginger, orange blossom peach and mango, and hibiscus pomegranate berry, you’re sure to find a flavour you love. Plus, only 100 calories per bottle! Available at mass retailers. $2.50 (473 ml) ›› 4. Dole Resealable Fruit Pouches The same sweet, delicious fruit you find in a can, but now there’s no need to transfer the fruit to another container after opening. Look for fruit cocktail, peaches, pears and pineapple. Available at major grocery retailers. $3 ›› 5. T-fal Clipso 6L Stainless Steel Pressure Cooker Fall is the perfect time for comfort food. A pressure cooker is ideal for roasts, stews, curry and Paella. Available at Walmart and Hudson's Bay. $200 ›› 6. Dave’s Killer Bread This all-organic, non-GMO, delicious bread is super packed with whole grains and seeds. Try all five varieties to see which you like best! Also, it might have the coolest logo ever. Available at major grocery retailers. $6

Canada is home to Donut Lake (Man.), Donut Bay (Ont.) and Coffee Cove (Nfld).

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He’s ready for anything.

BABY ›

habits

So are you, with ready- to-drink nutrition.

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Is thumb sucking really that bad?

BY AM Y B IELBY

We’ve all seen it before: a drooly baby, happily sucking away on its thumb or fingers. An adult approaches, lowers their face down, and with a goofy grin and a full-on baby voice says, “What are you doing with that thumb? Get that thumb out of your mouth.”

Can you picture it? Maybe you have even done it. For many, the reaction to thumb sucking is that it should be nipped in the bud before it develops into a habit through the toddler and preschool years. But for babies, this isn’t merely a habit to break; it’s a method of self-soothing, which is actually a great thing.

Your child has found a natural approach to cope with their environment in their own way.

Calgary mom Cindy Yarnell says her daughter Caydence sucks her thumb to soothe herself, especially when she is tired. “Caydence stopped taking her soother and found her thumb around four months of age, and has been sucking it ever since,” she says. “She completely refused her soother and we were unable to stop her from sucking her thumb. With her being a baby we couldn’t reason with her! We aren’t too concerned, as our doctor and dentist both say she will outgrow it and not to stress about it.”

Pediatrician Dr. Janine Flanagan agrees.

“Thumb sucking is natural. Many infants suck their thumbs even before they are born.

Thumb or finger sucking provides soothing and comfort for infants. Deterring young babies is not recommended.”

Parents often turn to a pacifier as an option, knowing that pacifiers can eventually be

tossed in the garbage. It’s a little more difficult to get rid of thumbs! However, the reality is that babies make their own choices. “Pacifiers are an easier habit to break because they can be physically removed – as compared to the thumb,” says Dr. Flanagan. “But most children will have developed their own preference (thumb versus soother) early on.”

The real time for concern is if your baby’s thumb sucking continues through the toddler and preschool years, and into school age, when adult teeth are beginning to come in. The pressure from the sucking can cause the teeth to protrude, which may lead to problems with your child’s bite.

Cindy spoke with her dentist about this. “The dentist just said it’s likely that Caydence will need orthodontics. So far her teeth still look perfectly normal, but we won’t really know until her adult teeth grow in.”

When it comes to toddlers, you may have a better chance reasoning with them. Dr. Flanagan says, “Distraction and encouragement can be helpful, but most children between two to three years actually stop on their own as their need for sucking decreases or they develop other ways to comfort themselves.”

When that age arrives, positive reinforcement techniques and distractions may be helpful to help your child kick their habit to the curb.

Learn more about thumb sucking.

ParentsCanada.com/thumbsup

Nourishing toddlerhood.™ © 2017 Mead Johnson & Company, LLC

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The first car trip across Canada took 52 days (1912).

Shutterstock/©Supattra Luasook

Enfagrow A+® every day toddler nutritional drink is an easy way to add nutrients to your toddler’s regular diet—including DHA (a type of Omega-3 fat).

Her brain will never grow as fast as it does in the first 3 years.

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Enfagrow A+ is a nutritional supplement. Not intended for infants under 12 months. * DHA, an Omega-3 fatty acid, supports the normal physical development of the brain, eyes and nerves primarily in children under two years of age. † GOS and polydextrose ‡ MJN calculation using Nielsen MarketTrack, Stage 3 segment; Total Children’s Nutritional Supplement Market (Canada $ sales) © 2017 Mead Johnson & Company, LLC

TODDLER ›

playing

STICKS AND STONES If you suspect that your child does, in fact, have a broken bone, here’s what to do: › Seek medical attention immediately. › Remove clothing from the injured limb by cutting clothing. Do not attempt to remove clothing by forcing arms out of shirts, for example. › If possible, create a splint for the fractured area, keeping it in the “broken” position you found it.

Jump around!

› Do not allow your child to eat, in case surgery is required to repair the injury.

Trampolines aren’t all fun and games

After care:

Kids love to bounce. It’s in them.

Someone, somewhere took notice and now, trampoline parks are popping up all over the place. And that means that trampoline injuries are on the rise.

While jumping the day away seems like innocent fun, parents should be aware of the risks involved and the safety precautions required, especially for toddlers.

Simply landing the wrong way can cause serious, permanent injuries.

“We’re concerned, not only with the increase in trampoline-related injuries, but the severity of those injuries,” said Dr. Claire LeBlanc, chair of the CPS Healthy Active Living and Sport Medicine Committee. “Children often break bones or dislocate joints and frequently require surgery. Head injuries are also common, and in some cases injuries to the neck or back can cause paralysis or death.”

You think you are being safe, but injuries can happen even when a trampoline has a net and padding, and parents are watching. In fact, recent studies have shown that most trampoline injuries happen at home and children younger than six are at the greatest risk. With bones that are not yet fully developed, youngsters are not equipped for continuous bouncing

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and are more prone to injury.

Carrie Lawton and her three-yearold daughter Mae know firsthand that trampolines can pose a huge risk for toddlers. “My friend and her son came with my daughter Mae and I to a trampoline park, and when I heard they had a toddler time I didn’t think twice about her safety,” says Carrie.

“I jumped on the trampoline while Mae was in the air and she came down twisting her ankle…or so I thought.”

When Carrie heard Mae’s cry, she knew something was seriously wrong.

A trip to the emergency room and a few x-rays later, it was determined that Mae had a buckle fracture and required a splint. Carrie says she felt like a failure for not knowing more about trampoline safety and for putting her daughter at risk.

Recent statistics from the Public Health Agency of Canada reported that there were 4,247 documented cases of trampoline injuries treated in emergency rooms across 15 hospitals between 2005–2006 and 2009–2010.

According to healthychildren.org, some of the most common trampolinerelated injuries include: • Broken bones (sometimes requiring surgery) • Concussions and other head injuries

• Sprains/strains • Bruises, scrapes and cuts • Head and neck injuries (which can lead to permanent paralysis or death) Most trampoline injuries occur when there are multiple people using a trampoline and kids can get hurt when they: • Land wrong while jumping • Land wrong while flipping and doing somersaults (this should not be allowed because of the risk of head and neck injuries) • Try stunts • Strike or are struck by another person • Fall or jump off the trampoline • Land on the springs or frame As a parent who’s been through it, Carrie warns other parents about the dangers of trampolines. She suggests that the best ways to protect kids, teens and parents are education and information. “Read up about the age requirements for children and trampolines, and really pay attention to the pros and cons,” says Carrie.

While Mae’s accident was minor, it was serious enough for Carrie to know that trampolines aren’t all fun and games.

› Casts can become tight and uncomfortable due to swelling, so reduce swelling with ice. To keep the cast from becoming wet, put ice inside a sealed plastic bag and place a towel between the cast and the bag of ice.

Place the ice on the cast, not on the skin. › Try to keep the cast elevated, especially for the first 48 hours after the injury occurs.

Elevation will help to decrease the swelling and pain. › Always keep the cast clean and dry. › Cover the cast with a plastic bag or wrap the cast when it comes time to bathe. › Do not lean on or push on the cast. › Do not put anything inside the cast. Do not try to scratch the skin under the cast with any sharp objects; it may break the skin under the cast and cause infection. Instead, blow air down the cast. Try using a hair dryer set on the lowest setting.

Learn more about safe play at ParentsCanada.com/ safetyfirst

It takes about 0.3 seconds to blink.

Shutterstock/© Aleksandr Mokhnachev

BY AN G EL A ROTUNDO

YOU’VE GOT FRIENDS IN HYDRATED PLACES. Remember sleeping in? Remember leisurely weekend mornings and disposable income? Remember dinner at places where you don’t colour the menu?

We can’t bring you back to those carefree days, but we can help you drink more water. Families that use SodaStream sparkling water makers drink on average two more glasses a day. We’ll handle hydration, you’ve got the rest.

PRESCHOOL ›

learning

GIRLS VS BOYS

Some kids just don’t show interest in learning letters, colours and shapes.

BY LI Z BRUCKNER

I call it “Third Child Syndrome”. While both our first and second child received plentiful attention and patience to ensure their readiness for school, our third child has not been so fortunate. Sure, my husband and I randomly quiz him on colour and shape recognition, and attempt to help him memorize letters and numbers when the mood strikes, but the busyness of life (combined with little interest and frustration on his part) has rendered us largely unsuccessful.

Stephanie Black, mom to now-seven-year-old Jack, had a similar experience. “Jack was born two months early in December of 2009, and despite not knowing or having interest in learning numbers, letters or even colours, and based on a strong recommendation from my local infant development team, I sent him to school a year before I should have,” she says. It was seeing him struggle to keep pace that made her insist he stay in senior kindergarten for a second year. “He was nowhere near ready for Grade 1, and as a teacher with many years of special education experience, I made a very passioned argument to hold him back.”

According to Judy Arnall, a Calgary-based certified parenting educator and coach, parents should follow their instincts when it comes to their child’s readiness for school, but it’s also important to note that they may also have higher-than-necessary expectations in terms of what their child needs to know. “In a nutshell, teachers want to see self-control, which is one aspect of executive function skills, meaning that kids know to express themselves with words, not with hitting, biting or pushing,” she says. Academically,

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she says it’s only in Grade 1 that a child must know how to write their name. Up until that point, kids aren’t expected to have mastered any other competency skills.

“Parents often believe their child needs to know their letters, colours, shapes, numbers and letter sounds for school when that’s not the case. My advice to them and any parent stressing about their child meeting milestones is simply this: breathe and try to relax. Like learning to use a toilet, the schedule of readiness depends on genetics. For some children, developing better executive function skills may happen closer to age seven than age five,” Judy says.

Still, there are tried-and-true methods for encouraging your preschooler should she show signs of interest. “Most kids will exhibit signs of readiness to learn letters, numbers and colours naturally as we live in a word- and numbersaturated world, and parents can help stimulate these skills by talking to their kids, and not letting gadgets do the babysitting,” she says. Try reading and singing to your kids whenever you can. Interact and engage with them, ask them questions, and give them one-on-one attention as you actively listen.

“Academically, kids don’t need to attend preschool, and they don’t need iPads and technology,” says Judy. “They need people who will show an interest in them in tangible, hands-on ways. When there’s no pressure to learn letters, numbers, colours, or even to read, children will take it upon themselves to start the process. Parents just need to let that happen and be encouraging along the way.”

› DIFFICULTY LEARNING TO READ. › DIFFICULTY IN PRONOUNCING WORDS. › A NOTICEABLE SPEECH DELAY. › TROUBLE LEARNING LETTERS, NUMBERS, COLOURS AND SHAPES, ETC. › LIMITED OR POOR CONCENTRATION.

Shutterstock/© Thomas M Perkins, © NadyaEugene

Late learners

Concerned your child may need extra help?

Judy Arnall says most kids will read between ages five and eight, and adds that those who aren’t flipping pages by nine or 10 may benefit from an evaluation by an educational psychologist, who can help identify any learning disabilities. She also notes that while a child who shows difficulty in the areas below may not have a learning delay, they could require assistance to help them advance developmentally.

Shark babies are called pups.

SCHOOL AGE ›

health HERNIA HELP What to expect during hernia surgery: › Inguinal hernia surgery is done under a general anesthetic.

Your child will be asleep and will not feel any pain. Younger children can receive flavoured sleep medication from an anesthesiologist through a mask. › Depending on the hospital, one parent will be allowed to accompany their child into the operating room only until he is asleep. › Inguinal hernia repair involves the surgeon making a small incision near the hernia. Any tissue outside of the abdomen is replaced. The weak spot is then closed and reinforced with dissolvable stitches.

What’s that bump?

Inguinal hernias are not uncommon in kids.

Shutterstock/© By Blend Images

MATHEW LAJOIE

I had first noticed the bulge in my five-year-old son, Cash’s abdomen as I was drying him following his shower. With the water glistening off his freshly cleaned skin I could see the outline of an unusual lump between his pelvis and upper thigh. It was odd. There was no redness or discolouring: just a mass with no visible evidence of its origin. Immediately a sense of concern washed over me.

Cash had been experiencing bouts of intermittent pain in this area for a number of weeks with the cause unfounded.

The pain would come and go and my wife and I had not noticed any previous signs of swelling.

I laid my son on his bed to have a closer look. As he rested on his back the bulge became more pronounced.

Still concerned, I made an appointment with our family physician the next day.

Strangely, by the time our doctor examined my son the lump on his groin had disappeared. An ultrasound was requested and confirmed that the root of the swelling and pain my son was experiencing was caused by an inguinal hernia.

I was shocked by the diagnosis. How could Cash have a hernia?

I soon came to find out that inguinal hernias are not uncommon in children. According to McMaster Children’s Hospital Pediatric Surgery Clinic, “Inguinal hernias occur in up to five out of 100 babies.”

The story of the inguinal hernia begins during a baby’s development, explains the Hamilton, Ont. clinic. “There is a natural opening between the abdominal cavity and the scrotum or groin. It is called the inguinal canal. In boys, the

Yuck! Cockroaches have white blood.

testicles develop in the abdomen and move down into the scrotum through the inguinal canal.”

Does this mean girls are off the hook? Not exactly.

Although girls don’t have testicles, they do have an inguinal canals and can get hernias, too.

If the lining isn’t completely closed, what should stay safely behind the abdomen can pass through and enter the groin fluid, intestines or other tissues. This could lead to complications.

Sometimes the bowel can become trapped in a hernia, according to literature from McMaster. This may cause the bowel to become blocked. If the blood flow to the area also becomes blocked, the bowel and testicle (in boys) may be damaged.

Because of potential complications, inguinal hernias require surgery to be repaired which involves an incision in the groin area. This was a fact that my family had to face with our son and the treatment option came as swiftly as his diagnosis. There was no avoiding it.

Cash’s hernia repair was a success and he was back to himself within a week. Inguinal hernias are not uncommon, but if your child experiences one it will be uncommon to you. During the process, I learned that the more questions I asked of medical staff and other parents the more at ease I was about my son’s diagnosis and treatment.

When it comes to any medical procedure or surgery, parents should familiarize themselves with their child’s medical team and understand the steps to recovery, keeping in mind that no question is a silly question.

› This surgery takes between 30 minutes to 1 hour.

What to expect after hernia surgery: › Your child will be moved to a recovery room post-surgery where he will be monitored by medical staff until awake. A nurse will bring you to be with your child as soon as possible.

You and your child will remain in recovery until he is alert and stable. › Children coming out of anesthesia react in different ways. Your child may feel groggy, dizzy or nauseous.

Clear fluids should be given until he can drink them with out throwing up. Slowly introduce solid foods. › Inguinal hernia repair is usually outpatient surgery. When it is safe for your child to go home you will review at-home care with your nurse or doctor. › Your child will be restricted from bathing for a few days post surgery. › Recovery time depends on the child. Your surgeon will determine when he can resume normal activity.

For more info, visit ParentsCanada.com/ hernias

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TWEEN ›

growing up

TAKING the HIGH ROAD

We asked:

if you could go back in time and offer your middleschool self some advice, what would it be?

It’s a big leap from elementary school to middle school.

BY AST R I D VAN DEN B ROEK

You’ve reviewed the walking route to school. You’ve worked with her on opening and closing her snack containers.

You’ve carefully curated her first day of school outfit.

While this was the kind of legwork you put in as a parent before your child headed into kindergarten, what are you doing now that they’re off to middle school? Like that first year of school, junior high school can bring a new environment and sometimes a completely new school and it’s helpful to prep both parent and pupil. Here are six ways to get your child ready for this new chapter in their academic career. ❯ PRACTISE WORKING A LOCK. At least a few times at home so they’re not fumbling with it the first day while they’re figuring out where their new class is, who their teacher is and if they’re friends are with them. “So ensure your child knows how to use the combination lock,” says David deBelle, principal at Toronto’s Lawrence Heights Middle School. David also advises investing in a good solid lock. “The ones at the dollar store don’t actually work.

Sometimes one pull on them and they open.” David also suggests that if remembering the three-number combination is too much for your child, opt for the kind that opens on one number only. ❯ VISIT THE SCHOOL. “Transition visits can be arranged and are helpful,” says David. “And those visits could include parents. So around June, kids should get a chance to be familiar with the school, maybe tour it and see the facilities and even meet the administration.” ❯ WORK ON THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. “In middle school, they take on more responsibility because they no longer have only one teacher for every subject telling them ‘Don’t forget to do this and that,’” says Zenta Caya, a Grade 7 and 9 teacher with Halifax’s Oyster Pond Academy. “The onus will be on the student to make sure they’re keeping up to date with all of their assignments, checking in with their teachers

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when they’re not there and more.” In preparation at home, try assigning your child with more responsibilities such as feeding the family pet and emptying the dishwasher for example, so they know what it feels like to take on more of a workload. ❯ BOOST THEIR TIME-MANAGEMENT SKILLS. “In elementary school, they had one teacher who already knew for example that they had a social studies assignment so they wouldn’t pile on the homework that week,” Zenta says.

In middle school, however, different teachers from different classes assign work regardless of what other teachers have assigned and it’s up to your child to manage their time. So prior to middle school, work their time-management skills by giving them a list of weekly tasks and help them figure out ways to manage executing them. ❯ GET THEM TO HANDLE MONEY. Whether it’s buying lunch at the cafeteria or stopping off on the corner store on the way home, money management is key in middle school.

“Give them the opportunity to manage money,” suggests David. “You could even try with school supplies by giving them a budget, seeing what they need and helping them organize and purchase items.” ❯ PRACTISE KEYBOARDING. Until now, your child may have been a hunt-and-pecker when it comes to typing in their work. But in middle school, more of their work is likely to be computer-based. “There are lots of simple online keyboarding type programs that kids spend a little bit of time on. They develop a home row sense with their fingers and do the data entry – that’s not a barrier to writing,” says David. “And it only takes 10 to 12 hours of dedicated practise and they can start to do touch typing and not have to look.” *Name changed to protect privacy

Choose better friends. Mine would choose someone to exclude from the “group” on any given day and more often than not, that person was me. The lot of them would ignore me for days or would say mean things to me. I ended up switching schools because it got so bad.

–KARA

Boys will comment on your boobs! Especially if you’re one of the first to develop them. Pay no attention to them.

–MELISSA

Be kind to everyone. One day you will feel terrible for making fun of someone. That someone is someone’s baby, and one day it could be your baby that’s being made fun of.

–TONIA

Truly apply yourself because one day you could look back and regret not trying harder!

–BRANDI

Play more, skip class every now and then, have fun – but keep it balanced. You have the rest of your life to bury your nose in books. Also, don’t participate in or listen to gossip. As you get older, you’ll realize that what other people think means nothing. Be a person you would want to be friends with.

–GLENN

Don’t try so hard to be like everyone else, popular, cool, etc. Just be yourself.

–NARIE

Focus on nutrition. Man, I wish I had learned better habits at a younger age. Also, don’t get that haircut.

–GRAZYNA

Cats can keep purring while inhaling or exhaling.

Shutterstock/© unguryanu

A whole new world

FUN ON ICE

FOR TOTS

IF YOUR CHILD CAN WALK AND RUN, YOUR CHILD CAN SKATE It’s hard to believe that a child as young as two can stand in ice skates, let alone skate. But that’s the starting age for several popular skating and hockey programs at Canlan Ice Sports.

What equipment do you need?

IF YOU HAVEN’T CONSIDERED PUTTING YOUR CHILD INTO SKATING OR HOCKEY, HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

Canlan recommends either hockey skates or figure skates when starting your child in a Learn to Skate program. These types of skates provide the proper ankle support and flexibility. It also makes sense to learn on these skate styles if you intend on progressing through to an ice sport such as Hockey, Figure Skating or Ringette. You will also need a CSA approved hockey helmet with a cage, warm layered clothing and mittens or gloves.

1

SKATING HELPS DEVELOP GROSS MOTOR SKILLS SUCH AS BALANCE AND STRENGTH 2

IT’S GREAT EXERCISE AND HELPS REDUCE THE RISKS OF CHILD OBESITY 3

CHILDREN PROGRESS AT THEIR OWN PACE AND ARE NOT PRESSURED 4

The preschool programs at Canlan concentrate on teaching fundamental skills required for skating but more importantly are taught by friendly and engaging staff. Canlan strives to provide the best possible experience for every child in their programs. At such a young age, they realize the impact that coaching can have on a child’s overall experience. If a child is discouraged and doesn’t have a good experience, it can affect their ambition to move forward in Skating, Hockey or Ringette.

Canlan Ice Sports is one of the largest recreation companies in the North America. They teach skating and hockey to an average of 40,000 children each year, becoming one of the largest operators in the world.

“We have seen a huge rise in our Learn to Skate participation at several of our Canlan locations,” says Sarah Leckie, Director of Programs. “We often sell out within weeks after posting the program online. Over the past decade, we’ve welcomed parents whose first language is not English to bring their children to us to learn to skate. We take pride in providing a true Canadian experience for these families and we get really excited when the children move into hockey. Canada is such a diverse country; it’s nice to see diversity within our sports as well.”

HELPS BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE WITH PROPER COACHING AND ENCOURAGEMENT 5

IT’S A GREAT START TO A LIFELONG ENJOYMENT OF AN INCREDIBLE TEAM SPORT SUCH AS HOCKEY

★ GET FITTED FOR SKATES BEFORE DOING A SEARCH. Your child’s skate size may be up to two sizes smaller than their regular shoe size. ★ LOWER YOUR COSTS AND BUY USED SKATES! Try Mom groups online, Kijiji, Play it Again Sports or other Facebook buy and sell groups ★ LOOK FOR SALES. Skating and hockey lessons aren’t just in the fall or winter – they run year-round.

Keep your eyes open throughout the year for sales on skates.

V I E W C A N L A N I C E S P O R T S P R O G R A M AVA I L A B I L I T Y AT

icesports.com

WHERE’S THE PARTY AT? Compiled by Angela Rotundo

The Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO) 317 DUNDAS ST W, TORONTO ago.ca Looking for a place that’s fun and creative to host your child’s next birthday party? Check out the AGO and explore art together through a variety of hands-on, family-friendly activities found in the galleries.

On-site catering, planning services, and AV make party prep a breeze.

In the Hands-On centre, your family will dabble in art-making, constructing, storytelling and costume play while making new

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friends and exploring. On Fridays, the AGO also hosts a creative story time just for little ones.

Canlan Ice Sports OAKVILLE, ETOBICOKE, YORK, SCARBOROUGH & OSHAWA icesports.com Aside from the many skating lessons that Canlan Ice Sports offers (including learn-to-skate for ages three and up), Canlan wants to help make your child’s birthday one to remember. Have a fun-filled skating party on ice (or even a quick hockey game with

nets provided) and then make your way to the Thirsty Penguin Grillhouse & Bar for refreshments.

You can also use the Canlan room, set up decorations and enjoy a private celebration. Choose from the gold, silver or bronze party packages, keeping in mind there is no minimum or maximum number of guests allowed. For more information, visit the website.

birthday? Make it a big screen movie event and host a Popcorn Party with Cineplex. Whether you choose a standard or premium package, each child attending will receive their own popcorn, drink and treat combo. Select the latest blockbuster and sit together in a reserved section of the theatre. It’s that easy!

Cineplex

Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada

VARIOUS LOCATIONS cineplex.com Planning your child’s next

288 BREMNER BOULEVARD, TORONTO ripleysaquariums.com Celebrate your child’s birthday

abou wn

Shutterstock.com/© Maya Kruchankova

AboutTOwn

abou wn with over 16,000 fishy friends at Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada! Invite family and pals, and let Ripley’s take care of the rest. It’s perfect for anyone who wants to celebrate his or her special day under the sea.

The best part is that Ripley’s will provide pizza, cake and a loot bag for every child. For more information, contact a member of their events team at events@ripleysaquariumofcanada.com.

Ontario Science Centre 770 DON MILLS RD, TORONTO ontariosciencecentre.ca Celebrate your child’s birthday with amazing hands-on science activities full of concocting, examining and experimenting! Choose the theme of the birthday party, then relax; leave the entertaining and activities to our Party Staff. They will deliver a two-hour party for up to 20 children in your private party room. The fun is not over when the party is; you and your guests are invited to spend the rest of the day at the Ontario Science Centre! Package includes decorated private party room, dedicated Ontario Science Centre Party Staff to facilitate your party and hands-on interactive science activities.

Learn 2 Skate & HOCKEY TIPS 4 TOTS

My Pop Star Party 161 DEERHIDE CRESCENT, UNIT 12, TORONTO mypopstarparty.com If you’ve got children who love to sing then how about celebrating their next birthday party at a recording studio? That’s exactly the kind of fun you’ll have at My Pop Star Party. Each child will go through the motions of a real recording session, when recording their favourite song in a vocal recording booth. And like most party places for kids, there’s space for guests to enjoy refreshments and snacks.

AGES 3+ REGISTER NOW FOR FALL! icesports.com/skate

The Circus Academy 1300 GERRARD ST E, TORONTO centreofgravity.ca It’s time to run off and join the circus for your child’s next birthday party. Circus fun starts with a warm up game and stretch. Kids then get to try all aspects of circus arts: juggling, stilt walking, floor acrobatics, mini-trampoline, hula-hoop, aerial trapeze, aerial hoop, aerial rope and aerial silks. Each child gets an original face painting and a balloon animal to take home and care for! Birthday parties are 2 hours long: 1 hour and 15 minutes of circus fun, and 45 minutes for food and presents.

For more fun in the city go to ParentsCanada.com/Toronto

Express Yourself

MARKETPLACE

Discover a wide variety of hands-on courses and workshops for art enthusiasts of all ages and abilities.

abou wn

REGISTER NOW AGO.ca/learn

.com/Toronto

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COMIC Relief

AM Y B I E L BY

TODDLER MELTDOWNS THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY MELTDOWN STORY: TODDLER “REALITY” VERSUS PARENT REALITY.

I saw a banana in the kitchen and politely asked my mom to peel it for me. She refused. She said it was impossible to peel.

Am I supposed to believe this is some kind of magical banana? Come on, Mom. Just peel it already.

My sister can’t eat. She will starve to death soon, I’m sure. I can’t help.

There’s nothing anyone can do.

–LORELAI, 2

–LIAM, 2

Lorelai’s newborn sister was born without teeth, much to Lorelai’s surprise.

Ummm...it was a yellow zucchini.

–ASHLEY, MOM OF LORELAI

–JENNIFER, MOM OF LIAM

Sure, I don’t mind sharing from time to time, but when my sister ate my soup, I couldn’t handle it. Why would a person take food from me when I was so obviously hungry? It just wasn’t fair. If I still had my bowl of soup, I would fill it with my tears.

–TALIA, 3

When Talia woke up this morning, she was upset because her sister did eat her soup….in her dream.

Try consoling a toddler who has been wronged in her subconscious.

–LAREINA, MOM OF TALIA

My mom ruined my favourite food by filling it with my least favourite food.

My dad ate my doughnut right out of my hand.

–CONNOR, 3

–ANI, 3

Connor loves to dip and munch on snap peas – in the shell. Today he opened the shell and discovered, to his horror, that it was filled with actual peas.

As Ani watched TV, she nonchalantly took the last bite of her doughnut.

She then tried to take another bite from her empty hand, expecting more. She frantically looked for the rest of her doughnut, and eventually pinned the blame on me.

–KATIE, MOM OF CONNOR

I don’t have a lot of cooking experience to back up my opinions, but wow, my mom really knows how to ruin a pancake.

–TIDAL, DAD OF ANI

–LOGAN, 2

© Shutterstock.com

I (incorrectly) assumed that Logan would enjoy chocolate chips in his pancakes.

–ALISIA, MOM OF LOGAN

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A mirage can be photographed.

SPIRALIZE INTO FALL. Fresh, fantastic and fun meals for every season.

Imagine the season’s fresh vegetables and fruits spiralized into delicious, healthy meals in minutes. Well, that will be your reality this fall, thanks to the new 4-in-1 Electric Spiralizer. The four cutting cones let you make zucchini noodles, sweet potato curly fries even spiralized apple tarts, just to name a few. Yum!!

Your family will love all the fresh ideas. You’ll love how easy the 4-in-1 is to use and clean and how little space it takes to store.

Plus it’s BPA free in food zones.

hamiltonbeach.ca

© 2017 Hamilton Beach Brands, Inc.

An intelligent choice.

In more ways than one.

Your baby’s brain growth will be 85% complete by the age of three.

Nourish him today with DHA-enriched Enfamil A+®.

Your baby’s brain will never grow this fast again, so it’s an important time to support that growth with Enfamil A+. It has a clinically proven level of brain-nourishing DHA, a type of Omega-3 fat. Enfamil A+ is easy to digest and is our closest formula to breast milk. All reasons that help make it the #1 pediatrician-recommended formula brand.

ENFAMIL A+ ®

#1 FORMULA CHOSEN BY

PEDIATRIC HOSPITALS

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Nourishing milestones at every stage.™

Breastfeeding is best for babies © 2017 Mead Johnson & Company, LLC