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Reclaiming the Classroom AI is the new tech battleground for teachers and parents

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C ONTENTS

Learning 2026/2027 FEATURES

The AI Precipice Adopting AI in classroom learning is happening without discussion — parents and teachers are asking for a more thoughtful approach

Twenty percent of AI tool interactions results in a negative impact, including bullying and cheating.

Un-Tech Training for Kids 15 What the science of play reveals about raising kids in a technology-rich world More Than a Participation Trophy 24 A teacher shares the secret to helping kids find the right after-school activity, and why doing so matters School Style Edit 45 Bling for kids’ backpacks, water bottles, lunch boxes and more

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Cluttering 101 29 This speech disorder often gets mistaken for ADHD When Feelings Overwhelm 37 Expert insights on decoding the big feelings that come with parenting a 2E kid

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DE AR R E ADER

Take Me to Your Robot Overlords I may have a problem. Not sure it’s an interventionlevel worthy problem yet (I say, flexing my growth mindset muscles). But I’m not going to lie, it feels like it’s going in that direction. Whenever I have a question or a problem that needs to be solved, I ask AI. Seems straightforward enough. But it gets worse. Whenever my friends have a question or a problem that needs to be solved, I recommend AI — wait, I’m not done yet — even if they’re asking for my personal help. It’s possible — and I’m not saying that this happened, but I’m not denying it either — that even when my friends don’t have questions or need problems to be solved, I enthusiastically encourage them to use AI, just give it a try. The first query is free. And I may, in fact, be actively trying to convince my mom friends that our lives would be so much simpler if only we had AI agents acting on our behalf. Imagine the mental load hours we’d collectively save if we didn’t have to read each individual school email, schedule each individual doctor and dentist appointment, call in each kid’s prescriptions, plan each meal and team snack, coordinate each carpool, etc. If AI can take on all that, I say bring on the robot overlords so I can relax and read a book, preferably on a beach. But then I think about my kids using AI, outsourcing all their thought and creativity to a machine that’s efficient — sure — but also infinitely unoriginal and often wrong, and I remind myself of the necessity of friction and struggle in the process of creating anything new or worthwhile. For years, ParentMap has been reporting on the intersection of kids and technology in education, questioning its role and challenging its purpose. Our first AI-related coverage was published three years ago in our Learning issue. This month, we’re diving into AI again, highlighting voices that are pushing back against the trend, questioning its outcomes and benefit to our kids (p. 7). Also in this issue: why playing matters more now than ever before (p. 15), a teacher’s tips to finding the right afterschool activity for your kid (p. 24), and our special disability and neurodivergence resource section (p. 29). — Allison Sutcliffe, managing editor (who most certainly did not ask AI in any way to help pen this note)

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Technology

Pushing Back Against AI in the Classroom Parents and teachers are working to avoid making the same mistake with AI that they did with EdTech By Alexandra Frost

A colleague shared with Emily Cherkin — screen time consultant, author and advocate against AI in schools — how they impersonated a student using Google Gemini’s Guided Learning Chatbot. Posing as a student, they asked the bot for math help and then acted distracted by a girl in the nonexistent “class.” “It sounds like your mind is on a different kind of angle,” the bot replied, according to Cherkin’s LinkedIn post on the topic, which questions Google’s

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claims “that their student-facing chatbot will ‘help students learn using the Socratic method.’” In this case, the bot quickly pivoted to giving dating advice with even a slight nudge.

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Her battle cry is clear. She wants parents, teachers and educators to “read this and weep — or change something,” she added.

. . . 1 in 5 AI tool interactions results in a negative impact, including bullying, cheating and other consequences, as ParentMap previously reported. Her concerns echo those of some parents and teachers across the country who are pushing back, citing distractions, off-loading critical-thinking processes to EdTech tools and more. Research has shown only 6 percent of teachers think the benefits of AI outweigh risks, and that 1 in 5 AI tool interactions results in a negative impact, including bullying, cheating and other consequences, as ParentMap previously reported. Here’s what parents and teachers are doing about it. The screen time/AI tool connection First, there was pushback against screen time more generally, resulting in phone bans in schools. Now, experts and parents are seeing the connection between that screen time and increased access to AI-based tools. For example, Michelle Bradley, a mother of a seventh grader in the Seattle area, says she started combating the issue when her child was in third grade. “I asked that she not use her school-issued device during free choice time. I didn’t opt her out in fourth grade. This is when she started to use more tech and declined academically. I partially opted her out of the 1-to-1 device program in fifth grade; there were improvements,”

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Bradley says. “I fully opted her out of the 1-to-1 device program and AI use in sixth grade; she was the only one out of approximately 750 students at her middle school without a device. She thrived, especially in math.” Bradley says caregivers used to trust that EdTech products were “safe and educational,” not realizing this assumption “is not true.” “Caregivers are also starting to get a glimpse into just how much time students spend on screens at school,” she adds, noting parents are upset at the amount of screen time spent on noneducational purposes, such as YouTube, social media and gaming. Cherkin says, “At the earlier grades, parents are skeptical that gamified apps are any benefit to early educa-

tion and wonder why at home there are guidelines for screen time limits for young children, while those min-

utes and hours are being eaten up in the classroom by YouTube videos for ‘brain breaks.’”

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TECH NO LO GY questions about screen time in school. In our community, this is particularly true for incoming kindergarten students and first and second graders.” The most popular request she sees in younger grades is screen time reduction. In older grades, it’s pencil and paper for math and writing assignments. “Teachers have also been asked about computer-based district and state assessments, the use of AI and data collection.”

continued from page 9

A second grade teacher in Seattle with 22 years of experience, who wishes to remain anonymous, is seeing the same trend. “Teachers at my school

receive more EdTech questions each year. I think parents are becoming more aware of the effects of excessive screen time and are trying to reduce it at home,” she says. “This leads to

The parent-led cultural shift Erica Shutes-David, LMFT, is a mental health therapist and cofounder of Seattle Families for Intentional Tech, a group of Seattle Public Schools parents and caregivers focused on how educational technologies are used in classrooms. She can sense the tides changing on this topic, and calls herself “hopeful yet realistic.”

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“ . . . I frequently hear teachers who are absolutely worried to speak out publicly about their concerns for fear of losing their jobs. That’s appalling . . .” Cherkin echoes the changing dialogue, especially as she’s seen a spike in downloads of her free Unplug EdTech Toolkit in the last six months. “I also think it’s very interesting that I frequently hear teachers who are absolutely worried to speak out publicly about their concerns for fear of losing their jobs. That’s appalling,” she says. “And in spite of President Randi Weingarten’s recent 10-point plan, the American Federation of Teachers (one of the largest teachers unions in America) has a $23 million partnership with OpenAI and Anthropic. That’s very concerning.” “This will take time and to some degree a cultural shift around how we use technology,” ShutesDavid says, pointing to the common refrain that we have to prepare students for an AI-saturated world and workforce. “What we have yet to hear is what specific skills young people need when they enter the workforce, what age is appropriate to learn those skills and what are the foundational analog skills we need to protect to graduate students who are competent and able to adapt as the world changes around them.”

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She hopes parents can reach out to teachers, principals and school districts to inform decisions around curriculum. Here’s what else parents can do: • Make your voice heard: Seattle parents can participate in Shutes-David’s Family Connections Survey, which can be distributed to lead parents at each school to organize, collaborate and support teachers and administrators in having more transparent conversations about how and why tech is used. “The EdTech companies have sold themselves as the easy answer and while the data is not stacking up, it will take a mass of families to speak up and change the forward momentum towards EdTech,” she says.

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• Join organizations aligned with your EdTech beliefs: The anonymous second grade teacher suggests “joining the Seattle chapter of Schools Beyond Screens. They have already presented a petition at a school board meeting and offer excellent resources to support students and families.” • Start with your teacher: The same teacher also recommends going directly to your child’s teacher. “I always advise parents to reach out to their child’s teacher first if they have concerns about anything regarding their child, including screen time. Teachers will work with your family to accommodate student needs and requests,” she says. • Lead with curiosity and relationship at heart: Cherkin says, “I tell parents that they should approach this with curiosity, not judgment, and start by speaking with the person at the school with whom they have the best relationship.”

LEARN MORE!

Cherkin urges parents and teachers to have urgency around this matter. “There is a place for technology in school — as I said, [technology education] is needed more than ever. But I really am concerned that superintendents and school leaders are barreling down a dangerous path without much thought. The collateral, of course, is children.”

■

Alexandra Frost is a Cincinnati-based freelance journalist, content marketing writer, copywriter,

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and editor focusing on health and wellness, parenting, real estate, business, education and

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lifestyle. Away from the keyboard, Alex is also mom to five little kids, who keep things chaotic, fun and interesting. She has been published in the Washington Post, Huffington Post, Glamour, Shape, Today’s Parent, Reader’s Digest, Parents, Women’s Health and Insider. Alex has a Master of Arts in Teaching, and a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communications/Journalism, both from Miami University. She has also taught high school for 10

Learn more

years, specializing in media education.

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Hands-On Play How Play Builds DigitalReady Minds Without Using Screens It may seem counterintuitive, but hands-on play develops skills all kids need to thrive in an unpredictable future Story by Gemma Alexander / Photos courtesy KidsQuest Children’s Museum

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Parents hand kids a screen for plenty of good reasons: a few minutes of peace, an appealing edutainment app, a wellearned reward. But when it comes to helping kids grow and preparing them for adulthood in the digital workplace, the real training ground isn’t the screen. It’s play. “We don’t know what the future looks like for children, especially with technology changing as fast as it is. There isn’t any curriculum that can keep up

with that. So, we have to be thinking about what skills children need to thrive in the world that they will go into,” says Jamie Bonnett, director of education and exhibits at KidsQuest Children’s Museum in Bellevue. Coding languages and user interfaces are sure to change dramatically by the time today’s preschoolers enter the work force. But the 21st century skills of critical thinking, creativity and collaboration will be critical for success

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when technical skills are constantly changing. Playing helps kids build these critical skills and develops the brain in ways that screens do not.

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A different digital divide “We’ve studied early learning for a really long time,” says Bonnett. The benefits of play for early learning, which goes through age 8, are well documented. But playing on electronic devices doesn’t provide the same value.

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“One of the great things about play is that it engages multiple senses simultaneously, so children are learning and storing sensory memories that build the foundation for future learning. Every experience builds new pathways in the brain,” said Bonnett. These pathways are not as well developed in children with high levels of screen use, because even the best educational software can’t offer that multisensory experience. For example, a digital program like Paint lets a child play with color. In contrast, a child engaged in the open-ended exploration of paint through an in-person event like KidsQuests’ Play with Paint program will discover what paint smells like, experience the sound of painting splattering on paper, and feel the difference between spreading paint with a roller or with a paintbrush. Those experiences may seem trivial, but they are integral to child development.

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“New studies have come out, especially about selfregulation when they’re wired for that type of fast feedback,” says Bonnett. The speed that makes

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digital tools so helpful at work becomes an impediment to a child dealing with the slower pace of conversations, waiting for a person to do something, or learning how to sit with their own thoughts. Play skills for the 21st century Avoiding screens before age 8 is valuable for brain development, but eventually, our kids will need to use technology. “We want to prepare them to use it wisely. Putting them in front of a screen too early is pulling them away from the experience the brain needs to build those neural pathways and develop those executive functions that help you plan, focus, remember instructions, and juggle all those things successfully and then engage in deep and critical thinking,” says Bonnett.

Critical thinking helps kids evaluate the quality of the information their tech generates and how best to use that information. Besides self-regulation and critical thinking, free play teaches other skills that will serve them in the workplace: collaboration and independence. “Sometimes you’re collaborating, and sometimes you’re just playing all by yourself, building independence, figuring out how I can do this all by myself,” says Bonnett. There can be no true collaboration with a Chatbot, which does not require a child to learn how to play with others the way a real playmate with their own ideas does. At the same time, digital experiences are guided and limited by a programmer’s choices, denying the true independence that playing alone with blocks or dolls would provide, and setting boundaries on curious exploration.

“Curiosity is like a light switch. When a child feels curious, it opens up their limbic system in their brains, their emotional piece and then you become more connected,” says Bonnett. When children pursue their own curiosity, they also develop resilience and adaptability, becoming less prone to anxiety. “I don’t have the thing that I need. How am I going to adapt?” Instead of being directed to correct answers, when kids’ curiosity is set free — as at the museum’s Engineering Hour, their towers and bridges are limited only by gravity and the physical characteristics of their materials. Playing together or alone, kids engaged in 3D play practice dealing with frustration, finding solutions and then figuring out fresh solutions when their first idea doesn’t work.

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“All of those skills are things that we really need our children to have so that they can adapt to change and succeed in the future, and play is the way in which they get there,” says Bonnett. Managing screen time Avoiding screen time does not require living off grid in primitive isolation. If anything, cutting out screen time pushes families to spend more time together exploring more effective forms of learning and entertainment, such as running around outdoors or visiting the children’s museum, where there is always something new to discover through hands-on play.

WHERE W HERE C CURIOSITY URIOSITY LEADS THE WAY. LEADS T HE W AY. LLearning earning happens happens through through play. At At KidsQuest, KidsQuest, handshandsplay. on e xhibits a nd e ducatoron exhibits and educatorled p rograms sspark park e arly led programs early literacy, S TEAM sskills, kills, a nd literacy, STEAM and creative p roblem-solving. creative problem-solving. FFrom rom sensory sensory exploration ffor or exploration preschoolers to to preschoolers engineering engineering challenges ffor or b ig challenges big kids, e very v isit h elps kids, every visit helps young m inds d iscover, young minds discover, test, and and grow. grow. test,

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“It doesn’t mean that you’re not teaching them technology. The screen piece is very different than just technology. Technology encompasses different things, and they do different things for your brain,” says Bonnett. Using a camera is more mentally engaging than watching TV, and operating an overhead projector is more physical than playing educational games on a tablet. But in a world where elementary schools require laptops, parents must find a balance between the requirements of developmental processes and the demands of modern life; screens will probably make an entrance sooner than you want. At any age, mindfully introducing children to screens means establishing strong parameters around time. The context of use matters, too. “When we start introducing screens at the museum, for example, we start with things like stop motion animation. So, they’re building something. We’re talking about making a movie and they’re having to build with Legos or make scissors become animate objects. They’re using the screen as a tool versus using it as something to watch,” says Bonnett. Technology shouldn’t be just a distraction, and ideally, screen time would be supervised and interactive. “Something that happens a lot is parents will hand their child the tablet when they’re walking in the store versus encouraging them to look at what’s happening around them. So, stop to ask

if they need it. In the car, they can look out the window,” says Bonnett. It might be a boring errand for you, but a narrated trip through the grocery store, or observing the world outside the car can be valuable learning experiences for small children.

Start with whatever simple steps you can handle. For example, for a child who is used to watching videos in the car, you might start by withholding the screen for short trips, then gradually extend the length of screen-free drives until the tablet is reserved for road trips.

Course correction Bonnett acknowledges that there are days when you just need to get your errands done and keeping your child occupied with a tablet can feel like a lifesaver. But if you have fallen into the habit of letting your child use screens to avoid ever experiencing boredom, it is possible to reverse course and establish healthier, more productive screen habits.

The goal isn’t less screen time. It’s more of everything else — fresh air, physical activity, human interaction and unstructured joy. Every minute your child spends playing is doing something good.

“First of all, I wouldn’t say go cold turkey. I think that’s just really, really hard on everyone,” says Bonnett. “There’s going to be a sense of withdrawal. They have to learn what to do with themselves.”

■

After all, even as adults who know the dangers of screen addiction, it takes effort to stop a doom scroll. A child who has become accustomed to unlimited screen access needs time to develop their independence through free play.

Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander has been writing at the intersection of parenting and the arts for more than 13 years. Her ParentMap feature, “Middle Earth Adventures: A Family Guide to New Zealand’s Wonders and Challenges,” won the 2025 Gold Award for travel writing from Parenting Publications of America.

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ParentMap welcomes Laura Kastner, Ph.D., back for her fourth year as series moderator. A clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington and author of the acclaimed “Getting to Calm” book series, Dr. Kastner brings decades of experience helping families navigate the challenges of raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids.

Human Raised: Helping Kids Flourish in the Age of AI As AI becomes more embedded in our kids’ home and academic lives, many parents are asking how much is too much. Dr. Dana Suskind, a pediatric surgeon and New York Times bestselling author, explains what children still need from the adults who love them. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, nurture curiosity and critical thinking and make sure technology strengthens rather than replaces human connection.

When EdTech Disrupts Learning: How Parents Can Speak Up Laptops, learning apps and online assignments are now part of everyday school life. But are they actually helping kids learn or just adding more screen time? Emily Cherkin, M.Ed., a former teacher known as The Screentime Consultant, will help you evaluate your child’s experience, recognize red flags and know when — and how — to speak up if technology is getting in the way of learning.

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Raising the Amazing Generation: Helping Kids Outsmart Their Screens What if your child didn’t just accept limits on technology — but wanted them? Co-authored with Jonathan Haidt, “The Amazing Generation” is Catherine Price’s No. 1 New York Times bestseller that helps kids ages 9-12 see why life is richer off their phones. In this talk, you’ll learn how to build healthier tech habits, encourage critical thinking about screens and make your child an active partner in creating a more balanced digital life.

JAN.

Less Awkward: Handling Growing Up, From Early Signs to Hard Questions Puberty starts earlier, lasts longer and looks a lot different than it used to. It can leave parents worried they’ll say the wrong thing or set the wrong limits, and schools wondering how to cover these topics, too. Pediatrician and bestselling author Cara Natterson, M.D., creator of the iconic book series “The Care and Keeping of You,” will share approachable ways to talk about changing bodies, swinging moods and everything else puberty brings.

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Growing Good Humans: Raising Kind Kids in a Divided World Kids ask big questions about race, identity and fairness — often when we least expect them. Journalist, bestselling author and global speaker Uju Asika shares how to respond with honesty and confidence, helping you raise children who lead with empathy and aren’t afraid of difficult conversations. You’ll gain age-appropriate language for talking about difference, challenging bias and turning uncomfortable moments into opportunities for connection and growth.

MARCH

Parent Without the Panic: Worry Less and Trust Yourself More If you constantly second-guess your parenting, lie awake worrying or wonder whether you’re getting it all wrong, you’re far from alone. Drawing on decades of clinical experience — and as a father of seven — Dr. Michael Milobsky explains why parenting anxiety has become so common and offers tools to calm your inner critic, manage worry and parent with greater confidence.

APRIL

Raising Brave Girls: Helping Them Choose Courage Over Perfection Girls are often rewarded for getting everything right — and far less often for taking risks. Girls Who Code founder Reshma Saujani, a 2026 Time Woman of the Year, explains how to help your daughter see mistakes as opportunities to grow, speak up for herself and gain the confidence to chase big goals. You’ll take away concrete ways to encourage resilience, reframe failure and help her develop the confidence to take healthy risks.

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ADHD Is Awesome: How to (Mostly) Thrive With ADHD Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting, frustrating and unexpectedly joyful — all at once. Viral creators and New York Times bestselling authors Kim and Penn Holderness, both diagnosed with ADHD themselves, bring humor, hard-earned perspective and real-world strategies to help families understand ADHD’s challenges, celebrate its strengths and thrive together.

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Extracurricular

Tips to Help Kids Find ‘Their Thing’ at School By Jenna Vandenberg

Five minutes after the final bell, my favorite sound fills the hallways of the public school where I teach. It’s the sweet sound of teenage activity. The rat-a-tat of snare drums, the quiet plink of ping-pongs, the blare of Japanese cartoons and the pulsing bass of breakdancing music always make me smile. After seven hours of encouraging students to analyze historical texts, there is nothing better than the sounds of kids simply doing their thing. Filling hallways with a joyful cacophony of noise isn’t the only benefit for students participating in after-school activities. When students find their thing at school, they are more likely

to be happy. Friends, confidence and scholastic success are often linked with extracurricular activities. The joy of high school clubs and activities Because the best way for a kid to find their thing is to try a bunch of interesting stuff, schools fling dozens of options into the ether. It’s okay if symphonic band, flag football, philosophy club or Vietnamese dance doesn’t click. They can still try leadership, cross-country, gamer club or check out an LGBTQIA+ meeting. “I did theatre in middle school,” says Jayla, a junior at Mariner High School in Everett. “And band too. But there wasn’t enough dancing. Then I found K-pop Club.” She and her friend Ezekiel, club presidents of K-pop Dance and K-pop Club, danced throughout the interview, their shoulders bouncing in sync as they took turns answering my questions. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand Schools spend a lot of time and energy on clubs, activities and sports because these spaces are often where kids find “their thing”: an activity that just might give them joy, purpose and meaning for years to come. Not only is it fun to witness kids living out their passions, it’s also incredibly beneficial for students to spend time finding their thing. In study after study, researchers

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continually confirm statistics about how students who participate in extracurricular activities are less likely to have unexcused absences and more likely to exhibit higher academic achievement. Motivation for these activities has a way of seeping into motivation for academics. According to one study on extracurricular activities, when students have fun or experience success in an after-school activity, it is “likely to create associations between the fun experienced within their extracurriculars and their scholarly activities, as both take place within the school’s environment.” In other words, students internalize the idea that school is a good place “to satisfy their basic psychological needs.” That positivity builds on itself.

Newer studies also highlight the connection between extracurricular activities and teen happiness. A 2025 Journal of Adolescence study showed that extracurricular activity motivation is positively related to academic motivation. Like a flywheel, the positive motivation has a compounding effect — buoying the psychological need for satisfaction in school, which in turn positively relates to student happiness, mood and well-being. A 2023 study from Gallup and the Walton Family Foundation further supports this finding: “No factor is more influential in Gen Z’s overall happiness than the extent to which their work or schoolwork feels purposeful. At least six in 10 Gen Zers who are happy also say they feel they do something

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interesting every day (60 percent), are motivated to go to work or school (60 percent) and that the things they do at work or school are important (64 percent).” Convincing cautious kids “I’d never joined anything,” says Ezekiel, also a junior at Mariner. “I was nervous, but I did this with my friend,” he nods towards Jayla, dancing along next to him. “It’s made me more confident.” As a teacher and parent, I want my students and kids to do well academically. But more than anything, I want them to feel happy, fulfilled and confident. Clubs often do that. I’ve seen many lackluster students suddenly come alive in the classroom after finding success on the soccer field or in French club. Anxious kids get pulled into a thriving school

community thanks to friendships forged in clubs. This puts parents in the near-impossible position of wanting their children to get involved at school, while knowing that forcing, or merely suggesting such a thing, could backfire with the pernicious force of a teenage eyeroll. Providing statistical facts about scholastic achievement or daring to utter the phrase: “In 10 years, you’ll realize how lucky you were to have had these opportunities,” are terrible ways to motivate a teen to do anything. Although I’m all for forcing kids to eat healthy food and do their homework, persuasive tactics probably aren’t as effective here. Studies show that “engaging with extracurricular activities for autonomous reasons (such as interest) rather than for controlled reasons (such as feelings of pressure) was shown to relate to positive outcomes.” In other words, it was the students who wanted to be involved in extracurricular activities that received the positive benefits. However, some kids need a little push to leave their comfort zone and try something new. When it comes to encouraging a reluctant kid to show up to a club or practice, friends will likely be more successful at convincing them than parents. Many schools have club fairs during curriculum nights. Consider bringing your kid to the event and let other teens do the recruiting. “If you are nervous, just take that leap of faith!” Ezekiel says, thinking about how he would encourage his classmates. “Even if you are nervous, just do it. It unlocks something in your mind when you push through that feeling.” Even if your kid hasn’t been an athlete in the past, don’t overlook sports as a future option. There are plenty of no-cut sports in middle and high school, and some schools are desperate to fill teams, due to the rise of private sports teams. Teens who can execute a roundoff back handspring or throw a curveball are often busy with competitive cheer or travel baseball, leaving more spots open on the high school teams. Working through potential barriers For some families, a lack of transportation to and from activities prevents them from participating. Many local schools offer an activity bus for this reason, but even then, the hours and route can be inconvenient, adding extra time to a long school day for kids. Familiarizing your child with free public transportation options may help resolve this

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situation. Alternatively, joining carpools can help. Another option is to look for classes within the school day that promote extracurricular involvement: Band, choir, orchestra, drama, journalism and leadership are all classes that can be taken within your child’s typical school day, but often have a club-feel to them. If your child isn’t sure what to try, ask teachers or counselors for suggestions. “Staff members are always telling me, ‘Hey, you should join this,’” says JT, a senior who is involved in Japanese Club, Key Club and theater. Teachers often know which advisors might be a good fit for reluctant students. If your child has a disability or other special need, bring up including extracurriculars as a goal in an IEP or 504 meeting. Sometimes, prompting from a nonfamily member can encourage a student. Clubs that have a singular focus, such as the Japanese or LGBTQIA+ clubs, are often incredibly welcoming to all

students. “Don’t feel like you have to be a specific ethnicity to join a specific club,” Jayla adds. “Just get out there! You can learn a lot from just being out there as yourself.” Finally, if your kid hasn’t made it to those club-centric middle or high school years, that means you still have time to model getting involved in clubs and activities. For example, taking your child to activities at the public library or signing them up for rec sports leagues can reduce future anxiety and prepare them to seek out similar activities on their own once they are teenagers. Note from the author: Working on this article motivated me to get more involved in school as well. In the days between writing the first draft and the last draft, I volunteered to become the new Freshman Class Advisor and am excited to take on the role. Go class of 2030!

■

Jenna Vandenberg is a Seattle-based high school teacher, writer, runner and mom of two girls. Her service on a national book review committee keeps her happily surrounded with stories.

WHERE CURIOSITY GROWS INTO CONFIDENCE The early years shape how children see themselves, approach challenges, and discover the world around them. At King’s Early Learning Center, children build a strong academic foundation while learning to persevere. For children who are ready to learn, grow, and shine. • Early literacy and math readiness • We work with your busy schedule with early drop-off, late pickup options from 7am to 6pm. • Flexible full or half-day programs starting from 12 months to 5 years old to equip your child early for success. • Spanish Immersion programs starting at age 3 to 5 years old to prepare them for bilingual education. • Christ-centered character development • Caring teachers who know every child • Safe, nurturing community Schedule your tour today.

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Neurodivergence + Disability Resources

The Speech Pattern That Often Gets Mistaken for ADHD By Kellie Schmitt

When Seattle high schooler Sofia Martinez-Zakrzewska chatted with friends and family, the words sometimes tumbled out so quickly they couldn’t understand her. Waiters often asked her to repeat her order. Teachers requested she slow down. “I thought I was talking normally,” she says. “I didn’t realize to everyone else I was an F1 driver.” She also collapsed long words, paused

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irregularly when speaking and struggled with large, sloppy handwriting. It wasn’t until meeting with a local speech-language pathologist that Martinez-Zakrzewska learned her challenges had a name: Cluttering. People who clutter speak at a rate that’s unusually rapid, which can lead to communication strain. Often, sounds and syllables are smushed together, saying “bas-ball” for “basketball” or “catpiller” for “caterpillar.” They may also pause in unexpected places, leading to “jerky” speech. Unlike stuttering, people who clutter often don’t realize their speech is difficult to understand until the listener responds. Elyse Lambeth, a speech-language pathologist at Seattle Children’s, once heard a panelist liken the cluttering experience to a video call that keeps breaking up.

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“Within schools, they may receive lower grades because they can’t participate in discussions as easily.” “You feel like everything is really clear, but you look at the people and they obviously didn’t get your whole message,” Lambeth says. “Someone is going in and out. That’s the best analogy I have ever heard of cluttering.” Just like with a spotty video call, it’s important to tell someone you’re not understanding them; pretending to understand cluttered speech can result in even more frustration. Instead, speech therapists advise waiting for a natural pause and then using reflective listening to show a speaker exactly where you lost the story thread. Understanding cluttering — and its impacts In the past decade, awareness of cluttering has grown, but misperceptions and confusion about the fluency disorder persist, even among speech therapists. Yet accurately identifying and treating the condition can be instrumental in helping

a child address the often substantial social and educational impacts.

Chapter. People who clutter may also struggle to maintain a clear, organized storyline especially when sharing complex stories.

“Within schools, they may receive lower grades because they can’t participate in discussions as easily,” says Susanne Cook, Ph.D., a certified cluttering therapist and the chair of the International Cluttering Association. “They can feel this high social isolation of not belonging that affects all areas of life.” A client once explained cluttering to Cook as the sensation of 20 thoughts exploding at once in their brain. As a result, the speech system feels overwhelmed and people talk more quickly than they can manage. The rapid speech even exceeds the naturally quicker pace of tweens, teens and young adults, she added.

“When you’re telling a story, you overexplain something,” she says. “It’s like you’re in a maze — you go into these little side quests. It’s challenging to know what’s important.”

In addition to spoken communication, some people who clutter may move their hand too quickly in written communication. That can lead to large, uncoordinated handwriting — and the mistaken perception that they’re not trying hard enough, explained Tiffani Kittilstved, the leader of the National Stuttering Association’s Seattle Family

Kittilstved, who became a speech therapist in part because of her own stuttering, only recently realized she clutters, too. While working at a summer camp on the Oregon coast for kids who stutter, a colleague shared her observations about Kittilstved’s possible cluttering. The diagnosis felt really validating — and resonated with her own experiences.

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“The treatment is different, so accurate diagnosis is really important,” she says. Improving identification and awareness In children, cluttering typically becomes noticeable as their language develops and becomes more fluent. But it’s often mistaken for other conditions, even when parents seek professional support. While cluttering can exist on its own, it often co-occurs with conditions such as ADHD, autism and stuttering, Kittilstved noted. That can make it hard to distinguish even among speech-language pathologists. Within speech language pathology training, cluttering makes up a very small portion of the overall

curricula, Cook said. She’s worked on research that found a huge number of students who graduated from these programs don’t feel confident working with a client who clutters.

“You can’t tell them to work harder; you have to work through the strategy and give them support.” The International Cluttering Association and other advocacy groups are working to improve education for speech therapists as well as raise awareness in the broader community. “We want to really fulfill that mission

so that people know more about it and it’s not as stigmatized,” Cook says. Finding the right tools While children might develop their own strategies to address their rapid, unclear speech, identifying and finding support is critical, experts say. Children who clutter aren’t being lazy; they need tools that work. “You can’t tell them to work harder; you have to work through the strategy and give them support,” says Heather Grossman, Ph.D., the executive director and a board-certified specialist in stuttering, cluttering and fluency disorders for the American Institute for Stuttering. Speech therapists use a variety of strategies to help people who

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clutter, including using graphic organizers to map out stories before speaking. They also practice traditional over-articulation and stretching out multisyllabic words, as well as adding deliberate pauses in speech.

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In Cook’s work with students who clutter, she asks them to imagine a set of gears. One might be a high rate of speech; another might be using multisyllabic words. One effort simultaneously affects other gears. She and her young clients also work on recognizing when people don’t understand their speech and what kind of repair strategy could help.

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Grossman recalled a child she worked with who learned useful strategies, as well as the confidence to advocate for herself. She ended up making an important speech in her school, using visual techniques like underlining syllables and inserting line breaks on her written script to assist.

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As for Martinez-Zakrzewska, the Seattle high school student, having a name for her experience helped her understand how her brain works — and educate others, too. She even made a slideshow for one of her teachers explaining cluttering with cited sources. Now, Martinez-Zakrzewska participates more in class, and projects more confidence when she needs to present materials.

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“I do still talk fast and pause, but I still speak,” she says. “After the diagnosis, I feel less self-conscious. I might as well contribute to the class discussion.”

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Kellie Schmitt is an award-winning health reporter based in Edmonds, Washington. She covers health policy, public health and children’s health for a variety of publications including the Johns Hopkins University Public Health Magazine and USC’s Center for Health Journalism. She has a master’s in science writing from Johns Hopkins University.

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Neurodivergence + Disability Resources Parenting Twice Exceptional Kids Who Feel Everything With Intensity By Casey Clark

Perhaps you were just told by a school psychologist or education professional that your child is twice exceptional, or 2E. At first glance, you probably agree that your child is exceptional, but twice exceptional can oftentimes come with its own set of challenges. In particular, twice exceptional kids oftentimes feel things more intensely than their non-2E peers. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however, it can be difficult to cope without the proper education and tools. I spoke with therapists and a neurodivergentaffirming speech language pathologist about what it means if your child is twice exceptional, why these children tend to have heightened emotions and how you can navigate this and help them regulate their feelings in a more healthy and productive way. What does it mean if a child is 2E? It’s possible you’ve heard the term “gifted child.” Twice exceptional is a bit different, although there are some overlaps. “Twice exceptional is a term used to describe children that possess both a giftedness or high ability in one particular intellectual, creative, musical or academic

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area, and also a disability or neurodevelopmental difference that affects some aspect of their functioning,” says Michelle Harris, LCSW, social worker and founder of Parenting Pathfinders. “For example, a child might be both intellectually gifted and have ADHD; may possess exceptionally strong verbal skills or musical abilities and be autistic; have advanced mathematical skills or be highly creative and have a learning disability that impacts their writing skills.”

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According to Ryann Sutera, a neurodiversityaffirming speech-language pathologist, many twice-exceptional children experience difficulties with social communication and executive functioning such as organization, planning, attention and emotional regulation. For the sake of this article, we’re going to focus on the emotional regulation aspect.

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It’s important to note that not every child is the same, and this applies to twice-exceptional children too. “As with all children, there exists enormous diversity amongst children in this population, but what often gets noticed by parents and educators is asynchrony in different areas of their development, often marked by an exceptionally high ability in one area coupled with significant difficulty in another,” says Harris.

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Why do 2E children have such intense emotions? First, it’s important to note that not all twiceexceptional children have intense emotions and big feelings. “Much of the research has found mixed results, and therefore it’s important to avoid drawing any universal conclusions about the emotional capabilities or expression of this population of children,” says Harris. “As with any child, there are multiple factors that can interact to lead to an intense expression of emotions. For example, it is not uncommon for a twiceexceptional child to have high expectations of themself in their area of strength, and when the reality of their abilities does not align with these expectations, frustration and emotional dysregulation can result.” Alena Gerst, LCSW and founder of Inside Psychotherapy, explains that emotional regulation in 2E children is often disproportionate to a stimulus. “This means you can expect most 2E

children to be extra sensitive to stimuli like sounds, lights, temperature and tastes, as well as emotional sensitivities to someone’s tone, fear of judgement and very tender feelings,” she explains. “Most 2E children tend to have extremely sensitive nervous systems, which can result in a ‘threat response’ to something that is not actually threatening. If they perceive a demand on them that they didn’t ask for, even if it’s ostensibly something ‘fun,’ they can have a big reaction that confuses parents, teachers and peers who aren’t familiar with 2E.” For example, a sloppy word on a handwritten assignment might send a 2E child into a negative spiral with a reaction that seems disproportionate for the situation at hand. The child might cry and get angry whereas a neurotypical child might just erase it

and start over with very little issue — this goes back to the nervous system sensitivity mentioned above. How do these feelings usually manifest? As with all children, intense emotional reactions, especially those from 2E children, can present in a variety of

. . . intensity, sensitivity and overexcitability are primary characteristics of gifted individuals including 2E children. ways. “In addition to expressions such as crying, physical outbursts and yelling, children may shut down, disengage, argue, have difficulty transitioning, complain of physical

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ailments, engage in negative self-talk, procrastinate or exhibit behavioral challenges as a way of expressing their intense emotions,” says Harris. It’s worth noting that the intense feelings are not just negative. Twiceexceptional children often feel intense positive emotions and feelings as well. Aside from having what appears to be “oversized” reactions to seemingly minor inconveniences, 2E children also tend to experience these feelings for longer than their neurotypical peers. How does being 2E impact their emotional regulation? For some context, research has indicated that intensity, sensitivity and overexcitability are primary characteristics of gifted individuals including 2E children. This can impact how they

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are able to regulate their emotions whether that’s happy, sad, angry or anywhere in between. More specifically, overexcitability or “higher than average responsiveness to stimuli” comes from Dabrowski’s theory of positive disintegration. In terms of emotional overexcitability, 2E children may experience heightened and intense feelings, extremes of complex emotions, and strong affective expression all of which can impact how they express themselves and regulate their own emotions. According to Gerst, oftentimes 2E kids are just as perplexed by their reactions as parents. “They don’t understand why they have such big feelings and unique needs when their peers and siblings don’t,” she says. “With that in mind, they tend to be most regulated when they have independence and more control over their plans.” How can parents help 2E kids regulate their emotions? If you’re looking for ways to support emotional regulation in your 2E child, these are the steps the professionals I consulted suggested. While it’s always recommended to consult with your child’s care team for more personalized advice, here are some tips to help get you started.

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1. Regulate yourself first It’s easy as a parent to become overwhelmed when your child has strong emotions, especially if they appear to be “outsized” to you. That said, how you proceed in responding to your child can make a big difference in how they feel and react. “Try to take a few deep breaths, lower your voice, relax your body, show your self compassion and remind yourself

“ . . . remind yourself that your child is having a hard time, they aren’t giving you a hard time.” that your child is having a hard time, they aren’t giving you a hard time,” says Harris. 2. Give them space If your child is feeling highly emotional and dysregulated, Gerst suggests backing off and giving them space. “You may feel the (normal!) parental urge to ask them questions and try to get to the bottom of what they need,” she explains. “However, in reality, each question will feel like a pile of more demands. You can let them know you’re there, sit near them if that’s helpful, and you can review what happened when it is not as raw.”

“All feelings are welcomed, not all behaviors are.” 3. Validate their feelings Everyone appreciates having their feelings validated when they are experiencing them so intensely. “Validate your child’s feelings without giving permission for harmful behavior,” says Harris. “All feelings are welcomed, not all behaviors are.” Here’s an example of what you could say if your child is feeling left out, whether they didn’t get invited to a classmate’s birthday party or a play date: “I can see that you’re really sad. It hurts when you feel left out, especially when you really wanted to be there. You don’t have to stop feeling sad right away — I’m here with you.” 4. Try using declarative language Gerst recommends looking into declarative language, a way of communicating with 2E and other neurodivergent children that is collaborative and nonthreatening. It’s the difference between directing, “Please go clean your room,” and declaring, “I noticed your room is getting messy.” It’s making an observation about something that needs attention rather than commanding kids to attend to it.

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This type of language doesn’t pose direct commands and can make conversations seem less of a hassle during a period of heightened emotions for twice-exceptional children. 5. Try offering visual input When your child is really overwhelmed and emotional, they are not in a position to effectively communicate what is going on. Suterra recommends providing as much visual support as you can until they’ve calmed down a bit.

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“This can look like modeling deep breaths, smelling a candle or essential oil, using deep pressure items or massage, listening to calming or preferred music or videos and physically changing what the individual is looking at in the moment,” she explains. “Continue this practice for at least 10 minutes and then prompt the person to answer a neutral, logical question to see if they are demonstrating cognitive reasoning, indicating they are regulated enough to think logically.” This is better suited to older kids who have the capacity to reason a bit more soundly and communicate more effectively. When to get help for your 2E child If your child’s behavioral or emotional challenges are persistent, severe, unsafe or are negatively impacting their daily functioning, Harris says it is appropriate to seek treatment from their school and a licensed mental health professional who specializes in giftedness and neurodivergence.

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It’s worth noting that getting help earlier can allow your child to better learn the strategies and coping tools that can help them manage their emotions as they get older, making life easier in the long run.

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Casey Clark is a freelance journalist from NYC who specializes in travel, parenting and lifestyle content. Her work has appeared in HuffPost, Business Insider, Parade, Parents and more. She’s been writing for over six years and has a knack for breaking down concepts in an easily digestible and understandable way. When she’s not working, you can find her at a theme park or at a Broadway show.

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Fun Accoutrements 10 Kinda Chic School Accessories By Allison Sutcliffe

You’ve bought the backpack, picked out the perfect lunch box and water bottle combo, and your kid’s pristine new shoes are waiting patiently to be unveiled on the very first day of school. Now that you’ve got the basic school supplies handled, it’s time to shop for the fun stuff — school accessories that bring all the bling. I’ve picked out 10 that will help make the school year a success for your young scholar. 1/ Build your own backpack buddy Because kids can never have too many clip-ons on their backpacks, you should add this one to the list. Kids build them using a kit, and each makes a special sound, activated by touch. Choose from red panda, panda, peach blossom or rainbow.

2/ Bentgo 4-compartment bento box You don’t have to worry about packing a heavy, loose ice pack that can smoosh fruit and break fragile items like crackers in your kid’s lunch box. This bento box comes with its own removable ice pack tray that fits snugly on the bottom of the box and keeps food cool through lunch time. 3/ Vinyl decal stickers Whether they stick them on their prized water bottle, school laptop or homework folder, these punny stickers are the go-get-’em cheerleader kids need at school. Comes in a pack of 50 so they’ll last well into the year, and can even be traded with friends.

4/ Reusable lunch box ice packs Bring a smile to your kid’s face when you include one of these ice packs in their lunch box to help keep food cool until the bell rings. Comes in packs of four. Eight designs to choose from.

5/ Glow-in-the-dark duck zipper pulls Add one of these cute ducks that glows in the dark to your little learner’s backpack or lunch box zipper, or clip one onto their shoelaces to add a little character. They can help make pulling on those tricky zippers

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AC C OU TREMENTS 8/ Insulated food container Whether you send hot soup on a cold day or a chilled dish on a hot one, packing an adorable animal food container in your little one’s lunch box will go a long way. Double-wall insulated with a stainless steel interior. Choose from dinosaur, cow, penguin or unicorn.

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a little bit easier, especially for little hands, and allow kids to identify their new school supplies in a crowd. 6/ Hand sanitizer silicone clip-on With a new school year, comes new germs. Keep them at bay when you load your own hand sanitizer bottle into these silicone holders that clip onto backpacks or soft lunch boxes. While clipping one on doesn’t guarantee your kid will use it, at least it increases the chances they will. 7/ Soft backpack charms I’ve noticed more and more backpack charms on more and more backpacks over the past few years. Their popularity doesn’t seem to be slowing down. Whether your kid wants to clip on a cute Jellycat creature or wants to stick with the ever-popular Squishmallows, there are lots of options to choose from.

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9/ Straw toppers Don’t let all those water bottle straws go to school naked! Cover them with cute silicone toppers that fit most 0.04-inch straws. They come in packs of eight, and there are five themes to choose from: animal, fruit, cute, marine or mixed.

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10/ Bentgo kids utensil set with case Help kids dig into the healthy lunch you’ve packed when you stick this reusable fork and spoon set into their lunch box. The case helps keep things organized. Eleven different themes to choose from. BPA-free and PFAS-free.

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Allison Sutcliffe is ParentMap’s managing editor.

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