ParentMap October 2024 Issue

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How ADHD Affects Kids’ Social Capital For many kids, developing this critical building block is at risk

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Fall Activities That Will ‘Leaf’ You Wanting More Go for the gold (and orange and red) with these seasonal family outings

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C ONTENTS

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Social Capital Is Critical, But Having a Disability Makes It Hard 8 Kids with ADHD may miss out if they don’t develop work-arounds

Why Building Strong Student-Teacher Relationships Matters 20 These four easy steps can turn things around ELECTIONS

What Parents Need to Know About the OSPI Candidates 28 Chris Reykdal and David Olson face off in the November election SEASONAL

Fun to Frightening: Corn Mazes for Everyone 34 Get your workout in walking (briskly) through a corn maze COMMUNITY

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Graphic Novels Featuring Neurodiverse Kids 43 Whether you have one, are one or love one, you’ll enjoy these reads

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In elementary school, my best friend and I went as a pair of dice. It was a big hit and our parents let us (made us?) do it ourselves, which was a win-win.

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Empowerment through pickleball The City of Seattle’s Neighborhood Matching Fund is investing $35,276 in the youth service organization Kids and Paper for a sweet (or spicy) new program called Pickle & Prosper. This initiative aims to boost physical activity and academic Teachers agree: When students are plugged in, learning is checked out It seems teachers are ready to hit “do not disturb” on classroom distractions.

According to a recent nationwide survey of nearly 3,000 members, the National Education Association found that 90 percent of educators are all for banning cell phones and personal devices during class time.

achievement for economically disadvantaged kids of color through pickleball.

Year-round indoor and outdoor play will be available for Seattle-area athletes ages 5 to 12. Fun fact: Pickleball has been Washington’s official state sport since 2022.

Flirty dolphins have more babies A recent study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences has uncovered that playful dolphins

Trusting hearts beat strong A new study published in Scientific Reports reveals that our willingness to trust strangers might be more than just a personal inclination — it could be written in our genes. Researchers found that one particular gene is linked to our tendency to trust others and that even after accounting for factors such as smoking and age, those with higher trust levels appear to enjoy better health outcomes including lower cardiovascular risk.

in Australia are not just having fun — they’re setting themselves up for parenting success. It turns out that young dolphins who indulge in games mimicking adult behaviors such as flirting and fighting end up having more Another pink Halloween this year?

On the heels (or sensible flats) of the “Barbie” movie’s record-breaking success in 2023, the top Halloween costumes last year were inspired by Greta Gerwig’s feminist blockbuster. According to Google Trends, the number two spot was taken by princess attire, followed by ever-popular Spider-Man costumes.

offspring. What does dolphin flirting look like? In both same- and mixed-sex groups, juvenile dolphins engage in role-playing where they mimic adult mating behaviors.

Land-dwellers might want to take note of how much play and practice seems to be paying off under water.

More childcare, more kids Fewer people are making babies these days. Americans not only have many thoughts about why that is, but we’re brainstorming ideas to get people procreating. According to a recent survey by Pew Research, a majority of Americans stated that a federal policy that ensures free childcare would be the number one way to encourage more people to start families. Other policy ideas included requiring employers to provide paid family leave, tax credits for parents and monthly payments for parents of minors.

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FE FEATUR ATUREE

Building Social Capital Is Critical for Strong Relationships, But ADHD Can Get in the Way

By Cheryl Maguire

A group of medical school friends nominated Sasha Hamdani to create a memory book for their pregnant classmate.

Hamdani worked hard on the task for several weeks. She printed pictures, gathered mementos and listened to stories about their friend. The book — meant to be a group gift for their classmate’s baby shower — was more than 100 pages long, with items such as anatomy class doodles and fabric from a white medical coat.

On the flight to the baby shower from Kansas, Hamdani realized when she was searching in her bag for her headphones that she had left the memory book behind.

She felt awful. “I’m sure that half of the people here thought I never even made anything,” she recalled thinking.

Hamdani, now 35, was diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder at age 9. She frequently misplaces important items, runs late or struggles with a disorganized purse — all symptoms of ADHD. She has been labeled a “flake” because she forgets social engagements or to reply to texts. People have often told her, “If it was important to you, you’d remember.”

The repercussions of such missteps are an important yet often unaddressed issue for children and adults diagnosed with ADHD. While most people think of this disorder as causing difficulties with completing assignments in school or the workplace, it can also lead to a deficit in what experts call “social capital.”

“Social capital is the network and goodwill that you have with other people that help you not only accomplish tasks, but also [maintain] important social connections,” says Caroline Maguire, a family coach in Massachusetts and the author of “Why Will No One Play with Me?” Once you amass social capital, you can then draw on it by asking for help when it’s needed.

Here are some reasons people with ADHD might not have much social capital to draw upon, along with how this lack of such capital can affect them and what can be done to build social capital.

Why children and adults with ADHD sometimes lack social capital Poorly managed ADHD. Failure to treat symptoms — such as not paying attention

or being disorganized — with medication or counseling can lead to relationship problems. For example, a person with ADHD may forget to put away their clothes or leave dirty dishes on the table, annoying their partner. Over time, this can leave their partner feeling unsupported and resentful.

Even those who are being treated might skip their medication during the weekend, believing it’s unnecessary if they’re not at work or school. But weekends are when people socialize with friends or family. Ari Tuckman, a psychologist in Pennsylvania and the author of “ADHD After Dark: Better

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8 R ERNETNMTAMP.A CP.OCMO M 1 2/ PA / PA

Sex Life, Better Relationship,” says that when people with ADHD don’t take their medication on weekends, they may experience problems in their relationships. One of Tuckman’s clients told her husband, who has ADHD, “Your co-workers get ‘Medicated Joe,’ and I get ‘Unmedicated Joe.’” Trouble with social cues. Even with the proper medication, people who have ADHD may still struggle with paying attention to social cues. “If you don’t read social cues, which a lot of ADHD kids don’t, then they might not even realize the social ramifications” of their actions, Maguire says.

In social situations, people with ADHD may impulsively interrupt conversations or have trouble waiting their turn during a game.

For example, imagine a group of children at a birthday party who are all waiting patiently to hit a piñata. The child with ADHD might run up, jump to the head of the line and hit it. This might cause the other children to feel angry.

Ryan Wexelblatt, a clinical social worker in New Jersey who specializes in ADHD, says that people with the disorder have trouble understanding other people’s thoughts and feelings. The partner of a person who has ADHD might consider their relationship one-sided and think, “They’re asking me for something, but not really giving anything in return,” he says. This inability to invest in social relationships also leads to a lack of social capital.

Lack of face-to-face peer interactions.

Children who have ADHD might avoid in-person interactions because their difficulties with social cues lead to shallow connections. They’re often drawn to video games because of the stimulation they receive from them, Wexelblatt says.

But when kids play video games or engage in other solitary activities, they aren’t spending time with peers or building relationships; instead, they’re retreating into an artificial world with superficial relationships.

Difficulty with executive-functioning skills.

Organization, planning and memory are helpful not only in school or the workplace, but also in relationships. If a person with ADHD is always late to meet a friend for lunch, then that friend could eventually feel they can’t rely on that person or conclude that the person doesn’t value their time.

not get the same number of invitations to hang out,” Tuckman says.

“One social expectation is that you be on time. If you text me, you respond to my text,” says Maguire. If people with ADHD don’t adhere to these social norms, relationships can suffer.

“They tend to get involved in romantic relationships with people who take advantage of them,” Wexelblatt says. Alternatively, they may overpromise to make up for past mistakes. But that sets people up for failure, says J. Russell Ramsay, a clinical psychologist and the author of five books on the topic of adult ADHD. “They think that there’s no way I can keep up with this.”

People with ADHD sometimes struggle with what experts call “time blindness” — being unaware of the passage of time. This behavior can also disrupt relationships.

“If they’re chronically late and they don’t have a real excuse and say, ‘Oh, I was on TikTok, and I just spaced,’” their friends will feel upset, says Anita Robertson, a clinical social worker in Texas and the author of “ADHD & Us: A Couple’s Guide to Loving and Living with Adult ADHD.”

A 2019 study conducted at the University at Buffalo showed that adults with ADHD experienced more interpersonal problems compared to those without the diagnosis.

They may try to make up for their lack of social capital by being people pleasers.

Whether a child or adult, Maguire says, “if you don’t feel like your social connections are successful, then you start to lack confidence, and it spirals.”

How to build social capital Manage ADHD symptoms. One way to build social capital is by managing ADHD symptoms through medication and counseling.

When symptoms such as inattention, disorganization and impulsivity are managed, then the person with ADHD will be able to interact with others in socially acceptable ways.

Other people’s misunderstanding of ADHD. “ADHD is not taken seriously, and it’s looked at as a character flaw,” Wexelblatt says.

That can mean that people with ADHD aren’t given the benefit of the doubt in social situations or assumed to be “flakes,” as Hamdani has been labeled. For example, if a person tells their friend with ADHD about an upcoming job interview that they are nervous about, but that friend later forgets to ask how it went, it could be misinterpreted as not caring.

Another way to help people with ADHD be successful in relationships is to create routines and structure. If the expectation is specific, like taking out the garbage every Wednesday night at 6, then it becomes a habit that is easier to remember.

How a lack of social capital affects children and adults with ADHD A lack of social capital may translate to a lack of friends. A 2021 study done at the Peres Academic Center in Israel found that parents of children with ADHD perceived their kids as lonelier than those without the diagnosis. “These kids [with ADHD] may

Set up positive social environments.

Ramsay says that often children don’t have a deficit of social skills; rather, they have trouble understanding when to appropriately use the skills. People with ADHD can improve their social skills through an exercise Maguire created called “Social Spy”: Go to a location where people like to gather and watch them (discreetly), paying

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attention to social norms, such as taking turns. Then challenge yourself to detect social cues.

Robertson suggested turning tasks into games, for both kids and adults, to make them more interesting and enjoyable. “ADHD brains are at their best when they’re having fun,” the clinical social worker wrote in her book. For example, you could say, “I’m going to time you and see how fast you can put the laundry away.” You could ask them to guess how fast they can do the task or see if they could beat their record from a previous time.

Educating others about ADHD. Parents may need to educate teachers or their child’s friends about ways their child with ADHD might struggle with relationships.

Kids and adults with ADHD may also need to help other people understand their disorder.

“Often it’s psychoeducation for the non-ADHD partner about what ADHD is and is not, and what will be the frustrating points in relationships,” Ramsay says. He cautions that people with ADHD are still responsible for their share of expectations, like household chores. But sometimes the non-ADHD person may incorrectly infer meaning to behaviors. For instance, if that person’s partner forgets to mow the lawn, that means that they don’t care about the relationship.

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Tuckman also discusses the importance of talking openly instead of making assumptions. “Try to create a relationship where both people can be honest and direct.”

Resources such as Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) and the website ADDitude can help people with ADHD and their families or friends.

■

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, National Geographic, The Washington Post, Parents magazine, AARP The Magazine, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine and many other publications. She is a professional member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors and an active member of the Society of American Travel Writers. You can find her at X (Twitter) @CherylMaguire05.

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ParentMap is honored to present Laura Kastner as the series host. Kastner is the author of numerous parenting books, including the acclaimed “Getting to Calm” series, and a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington. Kastner will lead each speaker through a live audience Q&A, addressing your most challenging parenting questions.

The Anxious Generation: Essential Strategies for Rewiring Childhood | Oct. 15, 2024 Renowned social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation,” will explore the key factors behind the rising rates of anxiety in kids and share practical steps parents and schools can take to reclaim childhood and protect our children’s mental well-being.

Level Up: Winning Strategies for Parents of Gamers | Nov. 7, 2024 Gaming expert and parenting coach Dr. Alok Kanojia will share strategies to protect your kids from the all-too-real dangers of gaming addiction, build healthy gaming habits, establish appropriate limits, and work with — not against — your kids as they play and grow.

Raising Digital Natives: Solutions for Healthy Screen Time Habits | Nov. 19, 2024 “Screenagers” filmmaker and physician Delaney Ruston offers valuable takeaways from her research on the impact of screens and will discuss how to foster open communication with kids about online experiences. Learn how to help your family find balance in the digital age.

All in a Day’s Play: Boosting Brain Power Through Play | Dec. 4, 2024 Beloved, Seattle-based educator Teacher Tom imparts insights learned throughout his decades-long career working with preschoolers. Learn his unique approach to child-led, play-based learning, and how you can foster a similar relationship and environment with the children in your life to help them learn and grow.

Navigating Neurodiversity: Strength-Based Support for ADHD Kids | Jan. 16, 2025 Renowned pediatric psychiatrist Dr. Edward Hallowell shares decades of experience and personal insights about the unique gifts of ADHD and other atypical learners. Learn how to nurture your child’s strengths and empower their sense of self-awareness and confidence.

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Confident Conversations: Guiding Kids Through Puberty and Adolescence | Feb. 5, 2025 Trusted experts Julie Metzger, RN, and Peter Metzger, M.D. offer confidence-boosting approaches to challenging conversations for parents and kids about puberty, body changes, sex and other growing-up topics.

The Lost Art of Civility: Raising Respectful Kids | Feb. 25, 2025 Authors Robert B. Brooks and Sam Goldstein share powerful insights on one surprising solution to the lost art of civility. Learn how to promote empathy and encourage constructive dialogue at home, school and beyond.

Harmony at Home: Successfully Navigating Parent-Child Differences | March 20, 2025 Esteemed pediatric psychologist and parenting coach Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart shares practical strategies for building a strong parent-child connection, while supporting your child’s individuality and embracing their differences.

From Chaos to Calm: Compassionate Discipline for Spirited Kids | April 1, 2025 Experienced parenting coach and “Raising Lions” author Joe Newman offers valuable insights on how to transform distracted and defiant children into kids who are motivated, respectful and attentive. Newman explores the deeper purposes behind conflict and what parents can do to spark change and work toward a calmer home.

Let Go and Let Grow: Raising Confident, Independent Children | May 6, 2025 Author and Let Grow founder Lenore Skenazy shares her personal journey raising confident, independent kids and the growing movement to resist the pressures to be a hyper-involved parent in favor of a more laissez-faire approach to supporting children’s creativity, independence and growth.

Nurturing Resilience: Essential Coping Skills for Kids | June 5, 2025 Author and licensed mental health professional Janine Halloran offers parenting approaches to help kids learn to cope with the daily challenges of life, develop resilience and thrive.

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The Power to Choose Being Present Over Tech

By Allison Sutcliffe Limiting and tracking screen time. Keeping up with the latest social media sites you definitely don’t want the kids on. Devising intricate reward structures just to get your kids off their phones at dinnertime. When did parenting become a war against the machines? And will it ever stop?

For many parents, tackling tech is an overwhelming issue, and the stakes have only gotten higher since the U.S. surgeon general released his report on the devastating effects of social media on youth mental health last spring.

Warning shots have been fired, parents, and we’ve all been thrust into the trenches, whether we like it or not.

So when I had the chance to sit down with

author and former social media influencer Erin Loechner to talk about tech, algorithms and her recently released book, “The OptOut Family: How to Give Your Kids What Technology Can’t,” I jumped at the chance. Loechner has successfully wrested her family from Big Tech’s hold, trading her million followers and six-figure earnings for, in her words, “people over pixels.” For families hoping to live with a little less tech and a little more time appreciating the real world, Loechner has ideas. Here’s what she had to say.

PM: Tell me a little about your background, your life as an influencer and what prompted you to leave that world despite your success.

Loechner: As a former six-figure influencer with a million followers, I became privy to the inner workings of the algorithm, of the pitch decks and influencer asks and brand requests that capitalize on vulnerability, humanity and relational empathy en masse. (If you’ve ever wondered why everyone is crying in their cars on Insta stories, it’s because those posts perform best and are continually requested by brands.)

I’d already known from my HGTV.com show that product trends stem from years of demographic research and sociological forecasting. But now, the conversations in conference rooms and board meetings aren’t just talking about trending products; they are talking about trending people. We are numbers, we are dollars, we are visits and hits and metrics. It became clear that the medium I was participating in was designed to devalue our humanity for the sake of a sweater on sale.

I feel fortunate that this realization grew as did my children (now almost 12, 8 and 4), and I recognized that if I were to march to the predetermined pace of the algorithm, I’d be parenting a lot more often with a phone in my hand than without. I also knew these social media platforms — as they existed at the time, and sadly, still exist today — were no place for a child to spend time in or with. I wanted something different for my kids (truly, all kids), and I was willing to go first. I thought, “If I can carry on doing the work I love without a social media presence, then it must not be as inevitable or necessary as society makes it out to be.”

(I’m happy to report that I was right.)

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What’s the most important thing your family gained by opting out? Are there things you miss out on (or feel like you’re missing out on) by being tech-free?

Time. We’re not frittering away time watching other people experience life — we’re experiencing it ourselves. We’re taking from life what is offered to us: the freedom to play and learn and experiment and grow.

That means, of course, in any given week, we might build a Viking ship replica, or host a pickup basketball tournament, or design an off-grid farm, or sew a doll wardrobe, or throw an ’80s-era dinner party or bake a half-dozen pies for our neighbors to taste test. That also means, of course, we’ve missed out on the latest cat video or meme. It’s a trade-off I’m willing to live with.

An important idea in your book is for parents to “specialize in predictive humanization” to compete with tech’s algorithms. Can you explain what that is and why it’s an important element of going tech-free?

Predictive personalization is a strategy baked into every successful social media algorithm. The program takes just a few pieces of data — location, age, interests, etc. — and uses that information to predict someone’s behavior, needs or wants in order to serve them content tailored to those desires. This is why your Instagram ads are continually showing you products you didn’t even know existed but are exactly what you’ve been looking for (ahem, weighted blankets).

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My thought is this: If technology specializes in predictive personalization, let’s be parents that specialize in predictive humanization. Let’s protect our children from anyone — or any place — that seeks to manipulate their interests for profit or gain or worth. Let’s instead help guide them to places that offer delight while asking nothing from them in return: a bed of pine needles, a crackling hearth. Laps for reading, skies for gazing, hammocks for swaying and dreaming. Delight.

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No matter what your family dynamic looks like right now, you have this very tool at your disposal. You, as a parent, have the potential to employ this strategy better than any AI machine learning algorithm ever could. Why? Because TikTok can’t tell your daughter how she liked her strawberries cut when she was 3.

TikTok doesn’t have data for your son’s first words, or his favorite memory or the name of the stuffed teddy that he slept with for eight years straight.

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But you do, and it’s all you need to start. The best algorithms begin with data, and data is what we, as parents, have in spades. Let’s use that to our advantage. (So many specific examples in the book!)

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What do parents miss or get wrong about limiting or reducing kids’ social media use and screen time? What do you suggest instead?

I think what we often get wrong is that, in many cases, opting out is far easier than parents think. It’s moderation that is hard. When we’re at the mercy of constant time management and check-ins and parental controls and screen time charts, we’re setting ourselves up as tech managers, rather than parents and mentors and trusted confidantes. By prioritizing one proactive decision now (no smartphone), we’re saving ourselves from prioritizing the countless reactive decisions that come later. (Which apps are OK? Which are safe? Is she spending too much time with it? What if she sees something inappropriate? What if

“There’s a persistent worry [I see] from parents: If I continue to restrict access to technology, will my child get left behind?” he hacks the settings? What if they encounter bullying? A predator? And the list goes on …). Once we can begin to consider the topic from a first order thinking vs. second order thinking perspective, it’s easy to see which choice offers less overwhelm in the long run.

What impact did opting out have on your kids’ schooling and educational experiences?

While I can’t speak for the alternative because a techfree education is a path we’ve unapologetically traversed from the beginning, I know that my children do not struggle to focus, nor do they battle dysregulation, overstimulation, disruption of the body clock, poor concentration, hormonal imbalances or chronic stress levels — all of which are noted to carry an overwhelming correlation to screen usage in the classroom.

To borrow a point from Dr. Victoria Dunckley, a wonderful resource I relied on throughout the writing of my book: “There’s a persistent worry [I see] from parents: If I continue to restrict access to technology, will my child get left behind? But supporting brain integration by being as screen-free as possible means you’ll be optimizing your child’s learning ability,” Dr. Dunckley explains. “A child who has great computer skills but poor frontal lobe functioning will have trouble advancing in anything, since good frontal lobe function is needed to ‘get things done,’ tolerate frustration and develop a strong social network. The frontal lobe is where creativity, innovation, discipline, ‘big picture’

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thinking, and grit are born and bred.”

“So who will be left behind?” she quips.

“The child who cannot concentrate.”

In a world that’s inundated with tech, how do you and your kids uphold your family’s tech guidelines when you’re out in the world — playing with friends, at school, attending activities, etc.?

It’s a simple metric for us: people over pixels. At all times, whenever possible, we’re going to choose to be present for and to the people around us, rather than keeping one eye on our inbox, or game stats or social media likes, etc.

Practically speaking, I’m often without a phone entirely, as are my children, so it’s an easy value to uphold. There’s no temptation to snap a quick photo or check a quick

email or perform any of those “quick” tasks that often pull us out of a moment. Instead, we find ourselves enjoying the day for what it is, not the content it can provide.

What’s one takeaway you hope families get from reading your book?

My deepest hope is that parents everywhere can read “The Opt-Out Family” and experience the freedom that comes with shelving the tech battle altogether — of opting out instead of tiptoeing in, compromising inch by inch until we eventually wave the white flag of Big Tech surrender.

The truth is, we don’t have to be victims of Silicon Valley’s latest whims. We can rally and rise up and choose something better for our kids, and we have every tool necessary to do that. The bottom line is this: We’re not opting out because we’re fearful.

We’re opting out because we believe in

a bold and revolutionary generation, and we’re not afraid to raise the kids that will soon become it.

If families want to join the opt-out movement, what’s the easiest first step?

My first recommendation is for parents to experiment with a dumbed-down device (it takes just two minutes — and is 100 percent free! — right here.) The second? Join (or launch!) a Co-Opt-Out in your hometown. With plug-and-play text message scripts, suggested activities, guidelines and FAQs, it’s the easiest way to meet like-minded families and experience a vibrant social circle with others who are willing to forgo social media in favor of social meaning.

■

Allison Sutcliffe is ParentMap’s managing editor.

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4 Ways to Help Your Child Create Strong Student-Teacher Relationships

By Cheryl Maguire I never considered myself a scientist. If you had asked me in high school to prioritize my subjects based on interest, I would have said I liked English over science. But then I had a science teacher who took the time to build a student-teacher relationship with me, and that changed my path forever. Here are four ways you can encourage your child to build strong student-teacher relationships that last: 1/ Help your child to think of choosing to learn as winning.

My science teacher, Dr. Pavlica, asked me to apply to his new research class. It didn’t interest me — at all. Despite my lack of enthusiasm, he recruited me like I was a star athlete who needed to try out for the team.

Anytime I saw him, he would ask, “Have you applied for the class yet?” After about the fifth time of hearing this question, I finally asked, “What do you mean by applying?

Don’t you just sign up for a class?”

“This is a different type of class. You have to apply, and then we accept the top students,” he explained. This piqued my competitive nature. The next thing I knew,

Dr. Pavlica had interviewed me and then accepted me into his class.

2/ Encourage your child to follow through on curiosity.

In that science class I mentioned, we could choose any topic related to a field of science. After selecting an area of interest, we were to use the scientific method to analyze the chosen research. The fact that I could pick any area of science allowed me to explore something I found interesting. I liked working with children, so I chose child psychology. The research question I asked was “Are there gender differences between preschool children at play?” Other students explored areas of biology, chemistry and physics. It was the first time any teacher asked me what I was interested in and meant it.

3/ Show your child how to find a mentor.

Since my teacher’s area of expertise was biology, he didn’t know enough about child psychology to assist me with my interest in it. But that didn’t stop him. He arranged for me to meet with a college psychology professor to discuss my findings and teach me

how to write a research paper. The paper was entered into the Westinghouse Science Talent Search competition (now called the Regeneron Science Talent Search). I was one of 40 finalists nationwide selected to go to Washington, D.C., and I had the honor of meeting President George H.W. Bush.

The experience taught me that I could use my passion out in the real world, and it was all thanks to my science teacher, Dr. Pavlica.

4/ Believe in your child, and they will believe in themselves.

Dr. Pavlica believed I could become a successful science research student.

He saw an ability in me that I didn’t see within myself. His encouragement and persistence enabled me to participate in a class I normally wouldn’t have considered.

He changed my perception and helped me pursue undergraduate and graduate degrees in psychology.

Any teacher or parent can do what Dr. Pavlica did and build a strong student-teacher relationship. All it takes is one interested and supportive adult in a child’s life to make a difference.

■

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Parents magazine, AARP The Magazine, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine and many other publications. You can find her on X @CherylMaguire05.

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Good Growing

Fall 2024

I N T H I S I S S U E : C A R S A F E T Y | V A C C I N E S | E D I B L E S | B AT H T I M E | G R O W T H M I N D S E T | C L A S S E S A N D E V E N T S

Help Kids Avoid Toxic Gaming Online gaming can be tons of fun for people of all ages. Multiplayer games like Animal Crossing, Fortnite and Minecraft give players a chance to socialize, practice teamwork and solve problems. For kids especially, gaming shows them they can improve their skills through practice. It can also be a platform for teaching them to cope with frustration and disappointment when things don’t go their way.

Online gaming also has downsides.

It can pull kids away from other essential activities like physical exercise, sleeping, schoolwork and family time — which is why it’s so important to have a healthy balance of screen time. And because multiplayer online gaming allows players to talk with and message other players in real time, it can expose them to risks. Kids may experience extreme trash talking, profanity and even bullying. Gamers call this ‘toxic’ behavior — which can also include spamming hurtful messages and ‘trolling’ or harassing players.

How can parents help protect kids from toxic behavior in online gaming? Forest Coyle, a therapeutic gaming specialist at Seattle Children’s, says it’s about teaching kids how to respond to negative interactions. He encourages players to know when to report, mute and block toxic gamers. He adds, “Most games and gaming consoles have great parental controls that allow online gameplay while restricting communication features like text messaging and voice chatting. This is especially helpful for parents of younger gamers.”

Before allowing kids to play new games, parents should research them using ESRB ratings and reviews from trusted sources. Then, allow game play in open, high-traffic areas of your home where you can easily see what’s going on. Check in with your child often to get a feeling for their mood. Ensure they’re being respectful to others and encourage them to leave a game if there’s toxic behavior.

Also be certain your child understands how to stay safe online. Younger kids should only play with friends and family they know in person. Older kids must never share personal information or agree to meet with gamers they don’t know in real life. Be sure your child knows they should come to you right away if any interaction ever feels bad or weird.

Gaming can be a great way to bond as a family. Ask your child to teach you their favorite game so you can join them sometimes. And if you’re a gamer yourself, be a positive role model. Show them examples of how to interact with others online and be sure your child sees you being respectful and supportive of other gamers.

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Need help balancing screen time with other activities? Create a media-use plan that works for your family.

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Stay Current On Vaccines In a recent study, one-third of parents reported that their youngest child missed a vaccination due to the pandemic and its ripple effects. If your child is behind on vaccines, it’s not too late to catch up.

Immunization is crucial to help keep children healthy and safe. It strengthens a child’s immune system and teaches the body to fight certain diseases. Vaccines reduce the chances of getting ill and protect those who do get ill from potentially serious outcomes.

Your doctor can tell you if your child needs any regular childhood vaccines to protect against diseases like chickenpox, HPV, measles, meningitis, mumps, polio, whooping cough and others.

Back Seat Until Age 13 When can a child sit in the front seat of the car? In Washington state, not until they’re 13. This law is all about safety. Most crashes occur in the front of the car, and the back seat is farthest from the point of impact.

Plus, air bags are designed for adults, not kids. In the U.S. in recent years, more than 100 children have been killed by air bags — and many of these deaths happened in slow-speed collisions.

It’s natural for kids to want to ride in the front seat, and you may know families who allow their under-13 kids to do so. But riding in the back seat must be the rule.

Don’t allow your child to sit up front as a reward or as a ‘treat’ in Grandpa’s car.

Also be sure your child is protected from seasonal viruses. Here are the current recommendations for seasonal vaccines: COVID-19: The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that everyone ages 6 months and older gets an updated 2024– 2025 COVID-19 vaccine this fall, whether or not they’ve previously received a COVID-19 vaccine.

Flu: The CDC recommends everyone ages 6 months of age and older (with rare exceptions) receives an updated 2024– 2025 flu vaccine this fall.

RSV: If you have a baby this fall, this winter or early next spring, ask their doctor about RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) immunization.

For more on car seat safety for all ages, including how to know if your growing child still needs a booster seat, visit the link in the QR code below.

If your child has fallen behind on their vaccines — or if you’re not sure — check with their doctor and get their protection up to date as soon as possible.

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Edible Cannabis Poisonings For children younger than 6, the rate of accidental poisonings from edible cannabis has risen dramatically in recent years. These products can be very attractive to kids because they’re often packaged to look like regular candies, snacks, baked goods and drinks. Because it can take a while for symptoms to show after a child eats or drinks these edibles, caregivers may not even know what happened. So, it’s important to know the effects, which may include vomiting or feeling nauseated, dizzy, drowsy or confused. A rapid heart rate is also possible. The effects can last for hours, and a child with severe symptoms might require admission to a hospital for monitoring.

If you know or suspect your child has ingested cannabis, call Poison Control right away at 1-800-222-1222. Store edibles out of sight, out of reach and locked up to keep young children and curious older kids safe. Keep cannabis edibles in their original packaging and do not consume them in front of children.

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Developing a Growth Mindset We want our kids to be persistent and resilient when they deal with challenges.

We want them to learn and grow from their mistakes. And we want to empower them to feel optimistic, motivated and adventurous in childhood and beyond.

Bathtub Safety Every year in the U.S., nearly 90 children drown inside the home, and two-thirds of these deaths occur in the bathtub. Babies and toddlers can drown in as little as 2 inches of water — and it can happen in seconds. Never leave a baby or toddler alone in the bathtub.

Before you put them in the tub, be sure you have all the supplies and clothes you need. Then, stay with your child and give them 100% of your attention.

Don’t let your phone, the doorbell or a kitchen timer tempt you to leave your child. And remember that adult supervision is crucial; never rely on another young child to watch your little one in the tub.

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These ideas are at the heart of what’s called a growth mindset, a term originally created by Carol Dweck, an educational psychologist. This concept is now being taught in schools as a key part of socialemotional learning.

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Changing our language (including our internal self-talk) is key to changing our mindset. Help your child create some powerfully positive affirmations like those shown here. Reassure them that a steep learning curve usually feels very uncomfortable — and if they persist, they’ll conquer it.

Keep going, keep growing!

I can figure this out.

Asking for help is a strong move.

I’m capable.

Mistakes are the best way to learn.

I’ll give this 100% effort.

I need to try a new strategy.

I’m willing to work at this.

Teaching kids to embrace a growth mindset means helping them believe they can improve their skills through effort. By working hard, they have the power to change things. For example, if they struggle with reading, they don’t tell themselves, “I’m bad at reading and I always will be.” (This attitude is what’s known as a fixed mindset.) Instead, a growth mindset helps them fully believe they can improve their reading skills by working hard, practicing and accepting help from others.

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their willingness to accept their mistakes as part of the process — and proof of their progress. It’s a guaranteed way to build new skills!

Here’s one very simple way to help your child build a growth mindset. When your child says, “I can’t do this,” teach them to change that thought to “I can’t do this yet.”

Help them believe that they’ll get the hang of it with lots of practice, and that practice is supposed to have lots of mistakes. Praise

Everyone can learn, change and grow. A growth mindset will not only help your child succeed in school, it will also equip them to have a happy, fulfilling life!

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Classes and Events

About Good Growing

Please check our website for the latest information. Scholarships are available. If you would like to ask about a scholarship, use the contact information for the class you’re interested in to connect with the registrar.

PARENTING CLASSES

EVENTS

Autism 101 Watch the lecture, in English or Spanish, at seattlechildrens.org/autism101.

Free Car-Seat Checks • Weekly, on Tuesdays, in Bellevue • Thursdays, Oct. 10 and Nov. 14 in Federal Way • Saturday, Oct. 19 in Seattle Learn how to safely secure your child in the car. Child-passenger safety experts will check your child in a car seat, booster seat or the seat belt and answer any questions you may have. Car-seat checks are by appointment only. Learn more and register for an appointment at seattlechildrens.org/ carseatchecks.

Conversations About Autism Learn more or view past sessions at seattlechildrens.org/ conversationsaboutautism.

Babysafe Learn more, view dates and register at seattlechildrens.org/classes.

Finding Mental Health Care in Washington State: A Class on Where to Start This class is available in English and Spanish.

Learn more, watch a recording, view dates and register at seattlechildrens.org/classes.

Behavior Basics Learn more about this on-demand, self-paced class for parents and caregivers of children ages 5 to 12 with disruptive behaviors at seattlechildrens.org/classes.

Your Child With Disabilities Is Turning 18 Learn more and watch the class in English, Spanish or Vietnamese at seattlechildrens. org/classes.

Youth Mental Health First Aid Funded by the King County MIDD Behavioral Health Sales Tax, supporting behavioral health and recovery. Learn more, view dates and register at seattlechildrens.org/classes.

CHILD, PRETEEN AND TEEN CLASSES Better Babysitters Choose virtual or in-person class in Bellevue, Everett, Federal Way or Seattle. Learn more, view dates and register at seattlechildrens.org/ classes.

The Chat Workshop Series (Is Puberty Weird?; Body Basics; More Body Basics; Crushes, Consent, and Other Conversations; Our Sexual Selves) Choose virtual or in-person in Bellevue or Seattle. Learn more, view dates and register at seattlechildrens.org/classes. See a trailer for The Chat at greatconversations.com.

Sibshops for Siblings of Children With Special Health and Developmental Needs Learn more, view dates and register at seattlechildrens.org/classes.

Free Virtual Car-Seat Checks King County Certified Child-Passenger Safety Technicians are offering free virtual car-seat check appointments via video-chat platforms. For more information, email Laura Miccile at laura.miccile@kingcounty.gov or call 206-477-8664.

South County Fire and Safe Kids Snohomish County offer free virtual car-seat classes.

Registration is required. Visit southsnofire.org/ community-programs/classes/car-seats.

Free Education and Safety Device Events Learn about the importance of safe firearm storage, receive a free lock box or trigger lock, and get trained on how to properly use them. Children are welcome at the events, and for those 18 and up, we will offer one free device per person. Learn more at seattlechildrens.org/firearmsafety.

Heather Cooper is the Editor of Good Growing, which is produced four times a year by the Marketing Communications Department of Seattle Children’s. You can find Good Growing in the January, April, July and October issues of ParentMap and on our website seattlechildrens.org. For permission to reprint articles for noncommercial purposes or to receive Good Growing in an alternate format, call 206-987-5323. The inclusion of any resource or website does not imply endorsement. Your child’s needs are unique. Before you act or rely upon information, please talk with your child’s healthcare provider. © 2024 Seattle Children’s, Seattle, Wash.

SEATTLE CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL Regional Clinic Locations Bellevue Everett Federal Way Olympia Tri-Cities Wenatchee Primary Care Clinic Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic Hospital Numbers 206-987-2000 866-987-2000 (toll-free) Online Resources Visit seattlechildrens.org for: Child health advice Good Growing newsletter Doctor Finder On the Pulse and The Autism Blog Medical condition information Health and safety information Ways to help Seattle Children’s Research Institute information Find us online

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ELECT IONS

A Guide to the State Superintendent Race

By Kristin Leong, M. Ed.

For busy parents, keeping up with our civic duties can sometimes take a backseat to the urgent day-to-day issues.

family engagement coordinators, etc. With these funds, the Legislature has funded over 600 additional physical, social and emotional support staff positions. In the

positive impact, but that is a response system. We now need to redesign the way we deliver instruction and supports in the modern age to address the grow-

If your bandwidth is limited, there is one issue on the ballot this year that I urge you to move up on your parent priority list: the race for the role of Washington state’s superintendent of public instruction.

latest Healthy Youth Survey, students are expressing better mental health outcomes, but we have a ways to go! I also advocated for, and the Legislature funded, regional school safety centers in each of the nine educational service districts. Part of their work, through the Behavioral Health System Navigators, is to coordinate behavioral health system, delivery, and suicide prevention training and awareness for school staff. Federally, OSPI [Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction] was awarded a grant, Project AWARE (Advancing Wellness & Resiliency in Education), that creates the pathways for collaboration between schools, tribes, community partners, educational service districts, and mental and behavioral health providers — with the goal being to increase access to mental and behavioral health services and reduce barriers to those services. Using federal emergency relief funds, we invested in partnerships in multiple communities to teach Hope Education, an evidence-based model to teach students how to retain and build hope and confidence in themselves, which teaches them the skills to push past barriers and overcome adversity.

ing anxiety students are bombarded with via social media and other propaganda pushers. We must address mental health before students are in crisis. We must teach kids about the tools they are using (the strengths, risks and harms). Our team is building specific learning standards and support materials for educators and parents to support students before they are dominated by the negative effects of social media and other stressors.

To help you prepare to vote in the election on Nov. 5, ParentMap reached out to the 2024 candidates for the superintendent’s role to learn more about their visions for the future of Washington schools.

Meet Chris Reykdal Incumbent Chris Reykdal has served as the Washington state superintendent of public instruction since 2017. With a background in education and public policy, he previously worked as a high school teacher and in the state House of Representatives.

ParentMap: How do you plan to address the mental health needs of students, especially in light of rising rates of youth anxiety and depression?

Reykdal: Under my leadership as superintendent, the state Legislature funded additional physical, social and emotional support staff. Those staff include counselors, nurses, psychologists, social workers,

Going forward, we must rewrite our learning standards to substantially engage and educate students in media/digital/ information literacy and digital media’s effect on mental health. Our regional mental health networks are having a very

What strategies do you propose to address and prevent gun violence in schools and ensure the safety and security of all students and staff?

Reykdal: Gun violence is harming and killing Washingtonians, and our kids in school are no exception to this truth. We can’t bring back the victims we’ve lost to this epidemic, but we can change the course of our future — gun violence is preventable, and we need strong gun safety advocates in leadership positions! Our team is the first OSPI team to explicitly call out gun violence as a public health risk and crisis, and we have provided direct guidance to families on safe storage. We did this in partnership with the Department of Health, the Alliance for Gun Responsibility and other ally groups.

Through the Healthy Youth Survey, we know that very few students bring weapons to school, but too many Read the full article!

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of them do report relatively easy access to guns in the home. Public education has a responsibility to teach young people about the risks of firearms from accidents, suicides and homicides. The only progress this country has ever made on any crisis has come when education complemented legal changes.

As superintendent (as well as during my time in the Washington State Legislature), I have supported and will always support policies to reduce gun violence and advocate for the safety of our children. I will continue to stand up to the gun lobby and fight to keep guns out of our schools and out of the hands of our children.

Antisemitism and anti-Jewish bias are widespread in our schools.

What is your stance on cell phone use in schools and how do you plan to balance the benefits of technology with the need to minimize distractions?

Reykdal: We now have ample evidence that cell phones are both a learning device and a distraction when not properly contextualized in classrooms. I do not believe in “banning” cell phones, but my office is working on guidance to districts that identify three or more strategies that other states/local districts have effectively used to shape better cell phone usage in schools. Our guidance will come out in late summer/ early fall, and it will challenge districts to more intentionally adopt their own local policy. Only local boards or the Legislature can force a cell phone policy; my office will provide the research, technical guidance and policy options for local districts to adopt better practices that work for their community.

What measures will you take to address the achievement gap and ensure equitable education outcomes for all students?

Reykdal: For too long, we used the phrase “achievement gap” to describe persistent differences in academic achievement across student groups. While we are closing graduation gaps faster than any time in our history, we still have opportunity gaps that result in achievement gaps – not every student is resourced equitably or supported equally. We can achieve a 100 percent graduation rate if we take a more sincere, more persistent and more honest approach to how we fund our schools and support our students. All students and communities deserve a fully funded education system that recognizes that not all communities are the same.

We have made substantial progress on increasing the racial diversity of our educators over the last six years,

Schools with reported incidents

Now, more than ever, we must engage and be part of the solution.

STOP

HATE in Schools

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ELECT IONS

STATE SUPERI NTEND ENT RAC E

continued from page 29

particularly among our beginning teachers, but we have much more work to do before our educators will truly be reflective of the students they serve. In addition, for too long, our state has underinvested in services for our students with disabilities, and we have done all students a disservice by supporting the learning of our students with disabilities in environments separate from their peers. We are changing this! We are rapidly moving toward full funding of services for our students, and our work around inclusionary practices has gained national attention.

Our state resources must be targeted, however, beyond formula funds to schools and students that would benefit from additional support. Our data systems are now drilling down to expose the disproportionate impacts of our education funding

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policies, and we are making changes to the way we resource our schools.

As your state superintendent, I have diversified the OSPI staff, and we have created a policy framework that embeds solutions to the opportunity gap in everything we do!

Not a single policy is promoted from my office that does not fully examine the impact on our diverse communities. From policy development to grant funds to professional development for our school districts and regional educational service districts; everything OSPI does to approach 100 percent graduation rates has an acute eye to the populations that have been systematically denied opportunity in our past and still today. And we have improved graduation rates faster for these targeted student groups, but there is more to be done! Embracing diversity is not an exercise in being color-blind. Quite the

opposite; it is absolutely about seeing race, seeing diversity, having crucial conversations, and strategically investing in our communities to cultivate a greater passion about our public schools and to set high expectations for all students.

What is your perspective on Senate Bill 5462, which was recently approved by the Washington Legislature. This bill requires that schools update curriculum to include LGBTQ+ histories, perspectives and contributions.

Reykdal: I absolutely support this bill!

Our LGBTQ+ students deserve to see themselves in our history books and curriculums.

Other pieces are ensuring safety (physical and emotional) for our students, supporting access to gender-affirming care (this includes honoring a student’s chosen

name and pronouns in the classroom), and ensuring Title IX laws are being protected with gender-inclusive bathroom access and inclusion in sports and other activities.

How would you describe the kind of student you were when you were in school?

Reykdal: I grew up the youngest of eight kids on public assistance, so I didn’t get much help outside of school, but I loved learning, and the classroom was my place to shine. I was curious, and I asked lots of questions. I also sat in the front because I don’t have functioning vision in my right eye. Being in the front also meant less distractions.

Meet David Olson David Olson has served on the board of Gig Harbor’s Peninsula School District since 2013. He is a retired U.S. Navy chief warrant officer and a board member with the Greater Gig Harbor Foundation.

How do you plan to address the mental health needs of students, especially in light of rising rates of youth anxiety and depression?

Olson: The most important thing education leaders can do to address the decline in mental health among young people is to remove cell phones from classrooms and reduce screen time overall. The evidence has been growing for years that cell phones in school are terrible for tween and teen mental health, and even worse for elementary schoolers.

Moreover, test scores improved districtwide. The damage phones are doing to our kids’ mental health demands action. In addition, it is important that we fully fund school counselors and increase social activities that foster a sense of belonging, such as music, sports, robotics, art, theater and building clubs. We should also work to partner with parents to address student mental health to the greatest extent possible.

What strategies do you propose to address and prevent gun violence in schools and ensure the safety and security of all students and staff?

Olson: While it’s not possible to make 400 million guns disappear overnight, we can and must do more to identify students who are struggling and be vigilant

71% of Jewish teens have experienced harassment or discrimination.

Source: BBYO, March 2024

Comments like

“Dirty Jew,” “Gas the Jews,” “I hate Jews,” “Go back to Israel and die” are increasingly common.

Hate speech and biased & false information are prevalent.

STOP

HATE in Schools

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ELECT IONS

STATE SUPERI NTEND ENT RAC E

continued from page 31

about potential warning signs. Additionally, schools need to partner with parents and students to enforce existing gun safety laws, such as firearm security and storage.

The recent multiple shootings at Garfield High School in Seattle, and feedback from parents in high-crime communities, all point to at least one solution we can and should implement immediately: Secure all school entrances and rehire school resource officers [SROs].

No teacher should ever have to stand between a shooter and the students. Safety officers are step one to ensuring the safety of students and staff.

Last year, as a member of the school board in the Peninsula School District, we hired former police officers to join our staff as armed school safety officers [SSOs]. We

did this to impress upon our students, staff and community that we take the safety of all very seriously. I absolutely will advocate and encourage all school districts across the state to consider hiring armed SSOs or partnering with local law enforcement agencies to add SROs to their campuses.

What is your stance on cell phone use in schools and how do you plan to balance the benefits of technology with the need to minimize distractions?

Olson: At the beginning of the ’23–’24 school year, our school board/district implemented a near-total restriction on the use of cell phones in classrooms, and we blocked social media on all devices, including Chromebooks and other digital devices, at the server. The Peninsula School District was a leader in the state on this issue, and now many other districts have implemented similar policies. As superintendent of public instruction, I will strongly encourage

Stand Up and Stand Out

all school districts to do the same.

Having read [Jonathan Haidt’s] “The Anxious Generation,” I am more convinced than ever that smartphones and social media — especially in the hands of elementary and middle school students — dramatically increase their anxiety and stress, and wreak havoc on their mental health.

I believe it is absolutely possible to strike a balance between the required and essential use of digital technology and Artificial Intelligence and the restricted use of cell phones in the classroom.

What measures will you take to address the achievement gap and ensure equitable education outcomes for all students?

Olson: First, I will work with all school districts to determine what is helping and hindering them from achieving academic

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success. I will determine root causes as to why school districts are not achieving academic success. I will urge the state legislature to fully fund special education across the state, and I will reevaluate the ineffective OSPI transportation funding model (STARS), which places extreme burden on school districts to fund their transportation costs — including hiring school bus drivers, paying for fuel and replacing the fleet.

I will seek to remove burdensome policies and regulations from the schools and classrooms that take away critical instructional time between teachers and their students. I will strive to encourage highly experienced teachers to accept positions in struggling school districts to help lift their students up to achieve their reading, writing, math and science standards, among other things. I want to encourage the state legislature to fund pay increases for all paraeducators — not just a select few, as the current superintendent attempted to do earlier this year.

What is your perspective on Senate Bill 5462, which was recently approved by the Washington Legislature? This bill requires that schools update the curriculum to include LGBTQ+ histories, perspectives, and contributions.

Olson: The OSPI’s role is to provide the framework, guidance and resources to support implementation of Senate Bill 5462 by local school boards.

This division of responsibilities represents the Washington state Legislature’s work to preserve local control and balance expertise with community input.

The intention is for OSPI, as the state education agency, to provide the resources and expertise to develop comprehensive standards and policies. Meanwhile, local school boards can adapt these to their community’s needs and values. This allowed the law to address concerns about overreach expressed by some local officials and community members that the bill might erode local control.

How would you describe the kind of student you were when you were in school?

Olson: I was an average student in high school. I enjoyed sports and making lots of friends. Both of my parents worked, and my siblings and I were latchkey kids, spending many hours each day unsupervised, with no parents at home. That is why I am such a strong advocate for parental involvement in their children’s education.

■

What you can do: 1

Educate yourself Understand what’s happening in local schools.

2

Report Notify your school and local agencies about incidents.

3

Engage Urge school and civic leaders to prioritize this issue.

Every student

has the right to a safe learning environment that is free from discrimination and hate.

STOP

HATE in Schools

Kristin Leong, M.Ed. is ParentMap’s senior editor.

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / HAL LOWEEN + HARVEST

From Cute to Creepy: Corn Mazes Everyone Can Enjoy

By Allison Sutcliffe Fall certainly is a great time to get lost — in a corn maze. Farmers have been busy all summer long planting long rows of tassel-tufted corn only to mow it down just in time for fall. Many create intricate patterns so families can test their navigation skills as they make their way through the towering stalks — after they’ve picked up a pumpkin, of course. Whether you’ve got toddlers looking for a chance to wander or teens who want to put a little thrill in their step, area farms are waiting to welcome corn maze aficionados of all ages this autumn.

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Bob’s Corn & Pumpkin Farm, Snohomish: Make your way through 12 acres of cornmaze madness at this popular spot north of Seattle.

Stocker Farms, Snohomish: Bring your flashlights to one of the spookiest corn mazes around. Stalker Farms is known for its horror-themed nighttime corn maze that’s best for very brave 12 year olds and older kids.

Swans Trail Farms, Snohomish: Known for their Washington state-themed corn maze,

families will have a blast navigating more than 250 “roads” and 400 landmarks your kids will surely recognize before finding your way out of this one.

Carpinito Brothers, Kent: Mt. Rainier is the gorgeous backdrop of this intricately designed corn maze that changes every year.

It’s great for kids of all ages.

Thomasson Family Farm, Enumclaw: The corn maze at this family-owned farm is just one of the many activities families can enjoy on a crisp autumn day.

Picha Farms, Puyallup: Plan to spend time tracking down answers to fun riddles in this interactive corn maze in the South Sound.

Find even more corn mazes to explore at Parentmap.com

■

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / HALLOWEEN + HARVEST

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FAM I LY F UN

Out + About Day Tripper: Scenic Routes to Take in Autumn’s Splendor

By Leighton Thomas Fall transforms Washington state’s corner of the Pacific Northwest into a breathtakingly colorful landscape. From the vivid reds of live oak and vine maples to the golden needles of the western larch, Seattle’s surrounding area offers a variety of scenic drives that showcase spectacular fall foliage. Here are six captivating routes for the whole family to enjoy in one scenic day: 1/ Chuckanut Drive Burlington to Bellingham Mileage from Seattle: 85 miles (approximately 2 hours) Where to go: Take I-5 north to exit 231 and follow Chuckanut Drive (State Route 11) north for a charming coastal route with sweeping views of Bellingham Bay and the San Juan Islands. This always picturesque drive along the shoreline is enhanced in fall with brilliant alders and fiery maples showing off their colors. Take your time and enjoy the numerous viewpoints along State Route (SR)

Photo courtesy of taylorshellfishfarms.com

11. This drive out and back can be part of a full day of fun in Bellingham, or you can turn around at any point to fit your schedule.

Where to eat: Taylor Shellfish Farms offers the freshest oysters and more at its casual waterside dining location at 2182 Chuckanut Drive in Bow. Where to stretch: Larrabee State Park has a small playground structure and numerous trails for exploring.

2/ Snoqualmie Pass Scenic Byway to Middle Fork Mileage from Seattle: 50 miles (approximately 1.5 hours) Where to go: Head east on I-90 to discover the Snoqualmie Pass Scenic Byway. This drive winds through sweeping mountain vistas with incredible views of colorful foliage. At exit 34, go left to make your way to the Middle Fork Snoqualmie trailhead. For an alternate route home, return via Southeast Middle Fork Road, but go right at Southeast 140th Street, and drive through North Bend to Snoqualmie, then on to Fall City. Return to the city via SR 202 toward I-90.

Where to eat: South Fork in North Bend is the ultimate family-friendly stop for food and lawn games. Kids will love the giant slingshot.

Where to stretch: In Snoqualmie, stop to see stunning Snoqualmie Falls framed by fall colors.

3/ Puget Sound Ferry to Hood Canal Mileage from Seattle: 200 miles round trip (approximately 4 hours plus ferry ride) Where to go: Begin this drive with beautiful

waterfront foliage views from the deck of one of our area ferries across Puget Sound.

From either Bainbridge or Kingston, head over the Hood Canal Bridge and make your way to U.S. 101. This two-lane highway, hugged by colorful trees, curves its way along the saltwater fjord of Hood Canal.

Meander and stop at one of the area’s quaint towns and count the many waterfalls dotting the mountains. Complete a full loop via Olympia to return to Seattle via I-5.

Where to eat: Hama Hama Oyster Saloon, off U.S. 101 in Lilliwaup, is a quintessential Hood Canal experience, with its heated and covered outdoor A-frame tables and a farm shop. Full menu served Friday–Sunday.

Where to stretch: Kneeland Park in Shelton features a classic wooden “castle”-style playground.

4/ Woodinville to Duvall Mileage from Seattle: 15 miles (approximately 30 minutes) Where to go: For a local drive that packs plenty of golden color in less than 20 miles, Woodinville to Duvall is a wonderful choice.

From downtown Woodinville, make your way to Northeast Woodinville-Duvall Road and head east. Take a right at West Snoqualmie Valley Road to Northeast 124th and turn left.

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OUT + A B OU T

continued from page 37

A left turn at the circle onto CarnationDuvall Road will take you up to Duvall, or go completely around the circle to loop back to Woodinville via Novelty Hill Road to Trilogy Parkway Northeast and RedmondWoodinville Road Northeast.

Where to eat: Grab a cone from the robust and always changing menu at Swanky Scoop in downtown Woodinville.

Where to stretch: Kids will enjoy the play structure at Wilmot Gateway Park and the freedom to run along the paved Sammamish River Trail, accessible from the park.

5/ Mount Baker Scenic Byway to Artist Point Mileage from Seattle: 140 miles (approximately 3 hours) Where to go: Awe-inspiring at any time of the year, the Cascade Mountains, or “Alps of the Pacific Northwest” are at their best

Mount Baker

in September and October. The Mount Baker Scenic Byway winds you along the North Fork of the Nooksack River for grand views of Mount Baker, Mount Shuksan and the North Cascade Range. At these higher elevations, you can marvel at the brilliant gold of the western larch and tamaracks.

Take I-5 north and exit at No. 232 toward Sedro-Woolley. From there you’ll make your

way to Valley Highway (SR 9) toward Mt. Baker Highway (SR 542) and continue east toward Artist Point. Be prepared for hairpin turns and unpredictable weather, but this drive, while long, is a must for those seeking the best views. The return of this out-andback route will surely take your breath away.

Where to eat: Wake ’N Bakery in Deming, is just the spot to grab a coffee and some delicious house-made baked goods on the way up to Artist Point.

Where to stretch: Hike the 1.5-mile out-andback trail from the Artist Point parking lot to Huntoon Point.

6/ Mount Rainier National Park Loop Mileage from Seattle: 80 miles (approximately 1.5 hours) Where to go: For an immersive autumn experience, take the drive to Mount Rainier National Park, where the foliage is a mix of

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golden larches and fiery maples, creating a stunning contrast against the snowy peak of Mount Rainier. For a clockwise loop, make your way to the Chinook Pass Scenic Byway (SR 410) and head to Tipsoo Lake to catch reflections of fall colors in the water. Backtrack a few miles to SR 123 and go south to Stevens Canyon Road. For twisty roads and jaw-dropping views, take a right to cut through Mount Rainier National Park, or continue south to the White Pass Scenic Byway (U.S. 12) to avoid park fees. Reservations to enter the park are not required after September 2.

Where to eat: Mill Haus Cider Co. in Eatonville features a casual atmosphere with outdoor games for the kids and often live music on weekends.

■

Leighton Thomas is a Kitsap-based mom of two. When she’s not homeschooling and adventuring with her kids, Leighton is a part-time education consultant and outdoor enthusiast. Follow her adventures on Instagram @everyday.adventure.and.joy.

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FAM I LY F UN

C OMMUNI T Y

Neighborhood Spotlight: Snohomish Begin your adventure at Bailey Farm, a family-run gem where you can pick the perfect pumpkin straight from the vine. The farm also offers hayrides, a corn maze and plenty of space for the kids to run around.

The friendly farm animals add to the charm, making it a favorite spot for family photos.

Another place you will definitely want to visit is Bob’s Corn & Pumpkin Farm, where the fun goes beyond just pumpkins. Its corn maze is a true adventure, with twists and turns that will keep everyone entertained (and maybe a little lost) for hours.

There’s also a giant slide, tractor rides, and a cozy bonfire area where you can roast marshmallows and sip hot cider. The farm’s market is packed with fresh produce, baked goods and all things autumn, so be sure to stock up on some treats to take home.

From stroller-friendly corn mazes to indoor surfing, this town makes for a perfect fall day trip for adventurous families

By Kristin Leong, M.Ed. THE VIBE Tucked into the rolling foothills of the Cascade Mountains, Snohomish is like a storybook small town, complete with charming storefronts, vintage treasures, and cafes where it feels like your family has been eating for generations. As a mom who’s always on the lookout for places that are both kid-friendly and have something special for grownups, Snohomish is one of my favorite escapes. Here’s a peek into what makes this town a must-visit for families.

Founded back in 1858, Snohomish is steeped in history. Named after the Native American tribe that originally called the area home, Snohomish has deeproots. Officially incorporated in 1890, this charming town served as the county seat until 1897, when it

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passed the torch to the larger city of Everett.

Today, the heart of Snohomish is its historic downtown district, where beautifully preserved commercial and residential buildings transport visitors back in time. Recognized on the National Register of Historic Places, this district offers families a unique opportunity to explore the past while enjoying the town’s modern-day amenities.

PLAY AND EXPLORE Fall is the perfect time for a family day trip to Snohomish. The countryside comes alive with vibrant autumn colors, and pumpkin patches and corn mazes abound as Snohomish transforms into a fall wonderland every year as the weather starts to cool.

If you’re looking for a more low-key experience, Craven Farm offers a charming mix of fall activities, from pumpkin picking to a Storybook Lane, designed especially for younger children. The corn maze here is themed and not too challenging, making it perfect for little ones. Plus, it has a country store where you can find seasonal decorations and delicious homemade fudge.

The Centennial Trail is another Snohomish

gem that’s especially magical in the fall. This 30-milelong trail runs right through town and is perfect for a family bike ride, stroller walk or even a leisurely jog.

It’s flat, well-paved and surrounded by lush scenery, making it accessible and enjoyable for everyone. Pack a picnic and stop at one of the many parks along the way, or just let the kids zoom ahead on their bikes while you take in the fresh air and views.

If your little buddies still have energy to burn after all of your fall adventures, be sure you’ve brought along their swimsuits, because you’ll want to head over to the Snohomish Aquatic Center. This is not your typical indoor pool; it’s more like a mini water park. There’s a lazy river, water slides and a splash zone that will keep your kiddos entertained for hours. The zero-depth entry is perfect for toddlers, while the FlowRider surf simulator will thrill older kids (and maybe some daring parents).

EATS + TREATS After all that exploring, you’re going to need some sustenance, and Snohomish won’t disappoint. For a casual lunch that both kids and adults will enjoy, check out Snohomish Pie Company. This cozy spot is famous for its homemade pies, but it also serves delicious sandwiches, soups and salads. The PB&J on homemade bread is always a hit with my crew. And I highly recommend the Northwest berry cream pie topped with cream cheese whip.

If you’re in the mood for something heartier, Todo Mexico is a local favorite. The menu is packed with kid-friendly options, like quesadillas and tacos, but it also offers fantastic margaritas for the grown-upss.

The portions are generous, and the atmosphere is lively, making it a great spot for families.

If you happen to be looking for breakfast, Snohomish Bakery at First & Union is the best place in town for biscuits and gravy, and challah French toast. You’ll want to be sure to pick up a bag of its famous chocolate chunk cookies for the ride home.

■

Kristin Leong, M.Ed. is ParentMap’s senior editor.

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PERFORMANCES BEGIN NOVEMBER 22

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Raising Great Kids

10 Graphic Novels for Neurodiverse Kids (and the People Who Love Them)

By Laura Wheatman Hill

We’ve previously covered some diverse graphic novels, and that definition of diversity includes neurodivergence. Now we take a deeper dive into a few, just a few, of the wonderful graphic novels out there featuring neurodiversity or mental illness in a way that is illustrative of the struggles that come with these diagnoses or neurotypes as well as a celebration of the things that make people with these types of brains

wonderful. I am a teacher with a Master of Arts in Teaching, which informs some of my choices, and I consulted with a wonderful public school librarian to solidify my reading list. I’m also a person who has mental illness and am neurodivergent, as are my two awesome kids. This is not an exhaustive list, and I’d love more recommendations. Note: Kids may read above or below the “target age” listed here, but I

tried to keep subject matter in mind more than reading level.

“Living With Viola” by Rosena Fung The titular Viola is a personification of the main character’s anxiety. As Livy navigates a new school, Viola looms, not unlike Anxiety in “Inside Out 2.”

Suggested age range: Late elementary through middle school

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RA I S I N G G R E AT K I D S

continued from page 43

“Puzzled: A memoir about growing up with OCD”

by Pan Cooke This autobiographical graphic novel talks about the “what ifs” that often flood the minds of people with OCD or anxiety. Using the framework of a “puzzle,” the main character learns how to adapt to the way his brain works, and most importantly, how to have empathy for himself.

Suggested age range: Middle school “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief – The Graphic Novel” by Rick Riordan If you are already familiar with the mega popular book series or Disney show, you know that Percy Jackson, like all demigods, has ADHD and dyslexia. Once he finds where he belongs, he no longer feels that he has a disability, and is able to use his skills to help save the world. It’s an illustration of how, when kids don’t have to constantly adapt to the world around them, they can thrive.

Suggested age range: Elementary through middle school “The Dark Matter of Mona Starr” by Laura Lee Gulledge In this whimsical yet scientific book, depression is personified as a dark matter that follows the main character around. The story deals with intrusive thoughts and also medical gaslighting, how important it is to have a support system, and how art can help heal.

Suggested age range: Middle school and up “The Golden Hour” by Niki Smith I’d say this book is okay for middle graders to young adults because of the incident that causes the main character’s PTSD: witnessing gun violence. As a result, he has anxiety and panic attacks. However, this book is a beautiful exploration of anchoring techniques, friendship and the power of art to help us heal. The subtlety in the relationships comes through, and I enjoyed the Kansas setting.

Suggested age range: Middle school and up

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“Just Roll with It” by Veronica Agarwal and Lee Durfey-Lavoie Dungeons & Dragons is all the rage with the kids these days, and this graphic novel portrays OCD through the lens of a kid who likes to play D&D. The dice are the part of the game that bring her joy, but they also con-

tribute to her anxiety-increasing behaviors.

Independent from the OCD representation, it’s a good story.

Suggested age range: Elementary school and up “Sensory: Life on the Spectrum”

by Bex Ollerton This graphic anthology features comics from 40 different autistic comic artists, who cover a variety of topics, from diagnosis to stimming and burnout to joy.

It’s geared toward later-diagnosed autists and autistic adults, but has no content that would be inappropriate for younger readers who are interested.

Suggested age range: Late elementary school and up “Always Anthony” by Terri Libenson The “Emmie and Friends” series includes several titles geared toward middle grade

readers and kids. Anthony, one of the protagonists in this installment, has mild dyslexia. Leah, the other protagonist, is quite anxious, following a traumatic past being bullied.

Suggested age range: Elementary school “Lighter Than My Shadow” by Katie Green I wanted to include this one even though it was a really hard read, because it addresses OCD, eating disorders, food sensitivities and PTSD all in one story in a really beautiful and tactful way. There is lots of potentially triggering content, especially for people with eating disorders, and there is the depiction of bodies and assault, but it is autobiographical and powerful. The author’s note says she wrote the book that she needed to read.

Suggested age range: Middle school and up, with parental discretion

“Hyperbole and a Half” by Allie Brosh I was obsessed with the blog before it was a book, and now it’s a couple of books, all of which deal with ADHD and depression with a side of humor and pathos. The sequel, “Solutions and Other Problems,” is one of the best depictions of depression I’ve ever read (mental health professionals agree). Brosh is one of the funniest people on the planet, and I quote stuff from the comics all the time.

Suggested age range: Middle school and up, with parental discretion for language

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Laura Wheatman Hill lives in Portland, Oregon with her two children and a pandemic puppy. She writes about everything, and teaches English and drama when not living in an apocalyptic dystopia.

Her work has appeared in Real Simple, Parents, JSTOR Daily, She Knows and others. You can find her on her website and on X @lwheatma.

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FAM I LY F UN

October Play List Slip into cozy season with ease Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar

By Julie Dodobara

Hello, October! It’s one of my favorite months of the year, a time when we’re fully into fall, and you can count on cool, crisp days — and some wet ones, too — for planning your seasonal family fun. Expect treats galore, pumpkins, farm fun, salmon viewing and so much more. Get out and enjoy the bounty of sweet things happening this month!

� If you’re on the hunt for pumpkin perfection, be sure to consult our roundup of great local pumpkin patches, which will, as luck would have it, also guide you to the best farms for harvest fun, from hayrides to corn mazes. Grab your boots and shears and get plucking!

Through Oct. 31. � Follow pals Winnie the Pooh,

Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore and others on a whimsical journey that will delight your crew at Olympia Family Theater’s production of “The House at Pooh Corner,” a sweet tale for all ages about friendship and overcoming fears. Shows run Friday–Sunday through Oct. 13.

Tickets are available on a sliding-scale cost of $5–$35.

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� Get locomoting! October

marks your last chance of the season to hop aboard a mini train for free rides around the tracks. Bring your little conductors to Port Orchard’s South Kitsap Regional Park on Saturdays, Oct. 12 or 26, or make your way to the Great Northern & Cascade Railway in beautiful Skykomish and ride the rails as many times as you’d like on Saturdays, Oct. 5–26.

Before heading out, be sure to double-check schedules to confirm trains are running!

in Puyallup. Kids will love the weiner dog races, live oompah music and the root beer garden. Admission ranges from $10 to $21 depending on which day you attend; ages 12 and younger are free. All ages until 6 p.m., Friday–Sunday, Oct. 4–6.

� Indulge in Bavarian delights

like brats, giant pretzels and beer (for the adults) at the family-friendly Oktoberfest Northwest, held at the Washington State Fairgrounds

Oktoberfest Northwest

Highlighted Events for October

Oct. 5–6 | Saturday– Sunday Issaquah Salmon Days Issaquah

Oct. 15 | Tuesday ParentEd Talk: “The Anxious Generation: Essential Strategies for Rewiring Childhood” Jonathan Haidt

Oct. 26–27 | Saturday– Sunday Fall Foliage Festival Federal Way

Online

� Go, salmon, go! Cheer on the

spawning salmon as you spot them from five locations along the Cedar River: the Renton Library, Cedar River Park, Riverview Park, Landsburg Park and Belmondo Reach. While you can see salmon any day during the spawning season, visit on select weekend dates to learn from naturalists. They’ll be on site Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 5–6, 12–13, 19–20 and 26–27, 10:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m.

� You’re invited “Under the Big

Top” to celebrate the kids in your life with crafts, games, and a circus performance featuring aerialists, acrobats and more at this year’s Lacey Children’s Day. Bring your brood to Huntamer Park, Saturday, Oct. 5, 11 a.m.–2 p.m., for a memorable day of high-flying entertainment. Free.

� Attend one or more of the

free cultural festivals taking place during October as part of Seattle Center’s Festál series — there are three in all — and explore the traditions of our diverse communities through art, music, food and more. Head to Seattle Center Armory for CroatiaFest on Sunday, Oct. 6; Turkfest, Oct. 12–13; and Día de Muertos Festival, Oct. 26–27.

� It is fishy fun celebrating the

spawning journey of our local flagship fish at Issaquah Salmon Days. Enjoy the community parade, music, kids’ games, salmon hatchery tours, dock dogs and more. Join the festivities and wish the fish “Many Happy Returns,” Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 5–6.

October 2 Kaleidsocsope Opening Party Kaleidoscope is a free, family-friendly celebration that marks the beginning of Tacoma Arts Month. Bring your family for an array of Arts and fun! tacomaartsmonth.org

� Dress your pooch to impress

at Volunteer Park’s Halloween Pet Parade and you could win “best in show” in the costume contest. Or you can just turn up on Sunday, Oct. 6 between 11

crafts and games. The fun happens at Fort Steilacoom Park on Saturday, Oct. 12, noon–3 p.m. Free.

� Don your favorite costume

� Fall farm fun at its best is

baaa–ck with the return of an Eastside favorite. Head to Bellevue’s Kelsey Creek Farm Fair and enjoy harvest delights and barnyard animal visits.

Also look forward to wagon rides, pumpkin decorating and more. Admission is free; some activities have a fee. See you at the big white barn on Saturday, Oct. 5, 11 a.m.–4 p.m.

S P O N S O RED E VEN T

Halloween Pet Parade

a.m. and 2 p.m. to witness all the clever outfits and adorable animals. Either way, it’s sure to be a howling good time for the whole family. Free.

� Bring your wrecking crew to

Lakewood’s Truck & Tractor Day, where the kids can climb on up and sit in the driver’s seat (and honk the horns!) of all their favorite big rigs. What could make this day better?

Try chucking pumpkins from a giant slingshot, going on free hayrides, and taking part in

and hop aboard the Halloween Train! This vintage passenger train, decked out for the season, chugs through the Snoqualmie Valley, offering a spectacular view of the changing fall colors. Bonus: All kids in costume get a prize. Trains run Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 12–13, 19–20 and 26–27. Book your tickets, $16–$32, in advance; ages 1 and younger ride free.

� For a true taste of fall, stop

by the booths of participating farms for a sip of cider and other seasonal delights during the Sammamish Valley Harvest Celebration, hosted at 21 Acres Farm in Woodinville. You can also go on a Great Pumpkin Hunt, play lawn games, enjoy live tunes and more, Saturday, Oct. 12, 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Free.

� Join ParentMap for our much anticipated first ParentEd Talk of the 2024–2025 series on

Tuesday, Oct. 15, when Jonathan Haidt, psychologist and author of “The Anxious Generation,” leads an eye-opening discussion about the role of social media and smartphones on childhood anxiety. Join our webinar live noon–1 p.m. on Tuesday, or receive the recording to watch anytime. $10 per talk, $50 for the entire 12-talk series.

Members of partner schools join for free.

� Immerse yourself in the un-

mistakable sights and sounds of autumn, from vibrant fall colors to rustling leaves, as you wander the trails of the Rhododendron Species Botanical Garden during its annual Fall Foliage Festival, Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 26–27 in Federal Way. There’s plenty for kids to do, too, such as go on a scavenger hunt, take a guided tour and vie to win the title of best October-themed outfit.

Free.

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Julie Dodobara is ParentMap’s calendar editor.

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DAY SCHOOL

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Fortunately, it’s also never ÆååĹ ĵŅųå ±ýŅųÚ±ÆĬåţ Families making up to $350K never pay more than $15,900 per child or 15% of AGI, whichever is less. samisfoundation.org/eligibility-estimator This incredible opportunity is provided by the Samis Foundation.