ParentMap Magazine September 2020

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Calling the Shots

No in-person instruction doesn’t mean kids can skip back-to-school checkups

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What a Chore!

7 ways to motivate your housebound kid to help out

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 2 0 | PA R E N T M A P. C O M

PNW INSIDE + OUT

INSIDE: 2020–21 INSIDERS’ GUIDE: AN A–Z ALL-SEASONS GUIDEBOOK TO SEATTLE-AREA FAMILY FUN

Remote Control Stress less and make the most of this mess 26/

AT THE CLUBS

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Register today!

The Tooth Fairy is inspiring young kids to keep their smiles healthy with FREE customized letters.

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Request a letter to be mailed to your child in recognition of one of the following milestones: Celebrating a first lost tooth Congratulating a good dental check-up

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Motivating words following a poor dental check-up Visit TheToothFairyExperience.com/parents

Do your kids love hearing from the Tooth Fairy?

Receive fun content by subscribing to our quarterly Grin & Grow e-newsletter at TheToothFairyExperience.com.

Follow the Tooth Fairy’s adventures on Facebook and Instagram @ToothFairyWA

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8/18/20 11:55 AM

HOPELINK’S VIRTUAL

Reaching Out

LUNCHEON 50 Years of Hope Soledad O’Brien

Join us on October 19th, for our virtual event with special guests:

Soledad O’Brien, Gordon McHenry, Jr. and Brittany Packnett Cunningham Gordon McHenry, Jr.

Facilitated by Lauren Thomas, Hopelink CEO

Learn more at

HOPELINK.ORG/ROL Brittany Packnett Cunningham

Join us as we begin Hopelink’s 50th year for a discussion about how we can all help change inequitable systems that drive multi-generational poverty across our region, systems that disproportionately affect Black, indigenous and other communities of color. With your support we’ve helped so many through the years. With COVID-19, we have to work harder than ever to help people find their path out of poverty.

For details visit our website, email RSVP@hopelink.org or reach out to 425.897.3703.

ParentMap Ad_Flu Campaign 2020.pdf 2 8/10/2020 1:47:09 PM

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Stay Vaccinated!

LET’S KEEP THEM

HEALTHY TOGETHER

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In these uncertain times, keeping your children up to date on immunizations and well child checks is important.

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C ONTENTS

September 2020 PARENTMAP.COM In Every Issue Dear Reader Calendar

6 26

Local Resources Schools + Preschools Independent Schools Birthdays Camps: Arts + Activities

Parenting

Family Fun

FAMILY MEDIA

18 Ways to Stress Less This Month Fun distractions for your back-to-school start

Get Organized!

7 Best apps to help busy families manage the daily grind IT STARTS WITH YOU(TH)

Meet Bitaniya Giday Seattle’s new Youth Poet Laureate will inspire you

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12 15 23 29

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May the Course Be With You 28 8 family- and budget-friendly mini-golf courses to try

Starting chores at an early age is among the greatest predictors of success as an adult.

WELLNESS

Calling the Shots 10 Why postponing preventative BTS care hurts EDUCATION

Homeschool Cool Inspo to help support learning at home

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Learning Fun on the Cheap! 29 10 DIY recycled toys for crafty, cooped-up kids PARENT DAY JOBS

Meet Val Thomas-Matson She’s helping to bridge the opportunity gap for BIPOC children

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“Giving your kid chores and failing to follow through teaches them that chores are optional.”

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12

p. 18

Apple picking, sunflower festivals, free park days — oh, my!

Feature What a Chore!

18 7 ways to motivate your housebound kid to help out

Cover photo by Shweta Shrivastava of Vi Photography

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P UBL I SHER ’S NOT E

SEPTEMBER 2020, VOL. 17, NO. 8

What’s your most successful chore sweetener?

PUBLISHER

Alayne Sulkin EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Patty Lindley OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Nancy Chaney

School daze

DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Vicky McDonald DIGITAL CONTENT PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Nicole Persun OUT + ABOUT EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Devon Hammer COPY EDITOR Sunny Parsons

We’ve been marking the magical yet frenzied back-to-school season in this country for centuries — even before it was a country — since Boston Latin School, which still operates today as the oldest public school in America, first opened its doors to students in 1635. However, in this unprecedented pandemic fall of 2020, educators, parents and students of all ages must navigate something quite unusual that can’t exactly be named, by anyone. The once-predictable excitement of new teachers, new friends, new backpacks and shiny new shoes paired with that all-important first-day outfit has been replaced with the dread of continued remote learning and too many unknowns.

CONTRIBUTORS Diana Cherry, Jackie Freeman, JiaYing Grygiel, Tiffany Doerr Guerzon, Devon Hammer, Malia Jacobson, Vicky McDonald, Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

At ParentMap, we’ve decided to dress ourselves up for the first day of school anyway — we’ve chosen our September back-to-school issue to reveal a brand-spanking-new design. This issue is chock-full of content to address some of your BTS preoccupations, from the critical importance of annual wellness checkups (p. 10) to inspiring Instagram accounts that will make supporting your child’s instruction at home a little easier and a lot more fun (p.12). Having kids learning at home while you try to work, function and plan out how to feed the team multiple times a day requires a whole new menu of tech support — equip yourself with our reader picks for apps to help busy families stay organized (p.7).

ADVERTISING PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER Jen Dine

One of my top parenting failures was not understanding that responsibilities help develop self-reliance, emotional skills, autonomy and kids’ need to feel needed. Consistently prioritizing age-appropriate chores has been cited as one of the chief predictors of success in adulthood, so increase your little toddler’s social-emotional and essential life skills with some chore-building (p. 18).

Now that the house is clean, how about a little educational screen time? In this month’s Parent Day Jobs, you’ll meet Auntie Lena, the TV alter-ego of inspiring producer and host Val Thomas-Matson, who has created a new series designed to encourage BIPOC children to take their rightful place in the world (p.31).

Shameless flattery! Point them at a chore that “only you can do.”

I actually sometimes strategically time a cleanup so my 3-year-old doesn’t try to come “help.”

DIGITAL MARKETING DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER Lindsey Carter SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGIST + TRENDING EDITOR Diana Cherry EMAIL PRODUCTION SPECIALIST Angelica Lai

ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS SENIOR ADVERTISING AND PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER Ida Wicklund

AD OPERATIONS MANAGER Elisa Taylor

We use simple logic: A family is a team, so everyone must pitch in — even the dog!

ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES SPECIALIST Jessica Collet ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES ADMINISTRATION Angela Goodwin

EVENTS EVENT OPERATIONS Brenna McCown EVENT COORDINATOR Mallory Dehbod MARKETING + EVENTS ASSISTANT Taryn Weiner

Buy your preschooler their own personal vacuum!

ART + PRODUCTION SENIOR DESIGNER Amy Chinn

ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER Carolyn Brendel

PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

CONTACT INFORMATION

Benjamin Danielson, M.D. ODESSA BROWN CHILDREN’S CLINIC

Advertising information 206-709-9026 or advertising@parentmap.com Fax 206-709-9031

Joan Duffell RETIRED EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Laura Kastner, Ph.D. PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Bea Kelleigh VICE PRESIDENT AT DOVETAILING, LLC Yaffa Maritz, M.A. LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTING

Calendar submissions calendar@parentmap.com Editorial submissions editor@parentmap.com Distribution distribution@parentmap.com Subscriptions subscriptions@parentmap.com Administration 206-709-9026, parentmap.com Subscription rates 1 year: $12

Ron Rabin THE KIRLIN FOUNDATION Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MINDSIGHT INSTITUTE

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ParentMap is published monthly. PMB #190, 7683 S.E. 27th St., Mercer Island, WA 98040 | All rights reserved; reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited. © ParentMap 2020 • printed in Oregon

PARENT ING

The Best Apps to Help Busy Families Stay Organized

TO-DO LISTS Instead of the traditional journal or whiteboard, many parents use note-taking apps to stay on track. Many of these apps allow you to create and edit multiple lists and plans. You can color-code your lists, sync your notes across devices, and snip and save favorite articles and recipes from websites. Among the favorites are Google Keep (keep.google.com), Evernote (evernote.com), OneNote (onenote.com) and the Microsoft To Do app (microsoft.com).

MEAL PLANNERS The answer to “What’s for dinner?” is a daily conundrum for most parents. Whether you are looking for new, kid-approved recipes or just want a place to keep track of what to make each day, there are multiple apps and services to help feed your crew day after day after day after day.…

How to manage the daily grind and keep everyone on track

By Vicky McDonald

Managing a family takes a lot of hard work and coordination: There’s meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, extracurricular activities, arranging appointments … and then your dishwasher breaks.

With all this to juggle, some parents have resorted to using corporate project management tools such as Trello (trello.com) and Slack (slack.com) to organize their family life. We asked our readers, and the following are some of their favorite apps for keeping on top of everything.

GENERAL FAMILY PLANNERS Cozi (cozi.com) is by far the most pop-

ular choice of the families we surveyed.

This multipurpose app lets you create and share a family calendar and send appointment reminders. You can also keep and share grocery lists, recipes and meal plans.

CALENDAR APPS Between school, work, and family activities and obligations, it can be hard to keep track of exactly where everyone needs to be at any given moment. These days, many families opt for a shared online calendar.

Google Calendar (calendar.google.com) is the popular choice for our Puget Sound– area readers. It’s a free service, and you can share calendars with family members and receive calendar notifications. It’s easy to use, and all members of the family can edit and view the calendar from most devices.

Other popular choices are Apple iCalendar (apps.apple.com) and Microsoft Outlook Calendar (outlooklive.com).

Paprika (paprikaapp.com) is a favorite among some of our readers. It’s an app that helps you organize your recipes, make meal plans and create grocery lists.

Relish! (relishrelish.com) and Prepear (apps.apple.com) also received kudos.

SHOPPING APPS When you become a parent (particularly in the time of a pandemic!), you soon realize that going to a brick-and-mortar store with kids in tow can be a nightmare. Thank goodness for online shopping!

Amazon Prime (amazon.com) is a popular choice among the families we surveyed.

This Seattle-based company makes life easy for families and pretty much delivers anything to your door within two days — or even two hours, with Prime Now. Fred Meyer Pickup (formerly ClickList; fredmeyer.com), Instacart (instacart.com) and Walmart Grocery Pickup (grocery.walmart.com) were also mentioned for quick and easy grocery shopping without the hassle of going into the actual store.

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Vicky McDonald is ParentMap’s digital content editor and a mother of two.

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PAR EN T I N G

It Starts With You(th) Meet Bitaniya Giday Seattle’s 2020–21 Youth Poet Laureate’s work reclaims a sense of home, identity

By Patty Lindley Writer and activist Bitaniya Giday is a first-generation Ethiopian American who was named Youth Poet Laureate by Seattle Arts & Lectures in June. Alongside her schoolwork as an incoming senior at Bellevue’s Newport High School, that means Giday will also spend the year ahead performing and speaking, as well as writing a book of poems that will be published by Poetry Northwest.

As a youth ambassador with the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center and as cofounder of Eastside 4 Black Lives (@eastside4blacklives), a grassroots organization of BIPOC youths working to bring accountability and equitable action to the Eastside, Giday has already gained much experience in organizing impactful community action and initiatives.

We caught up with her to learn more about how her poetry informs her unique brand of artistic activism and where she sees her storytelling mission leading her next.

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What people or experiences have helped you develop as an artist?

I think first of all of my mom, who cultivated my love for reading books and creating. After we immigrated from Ethiopia, we had no family here — we were really alone. I was not speaking English, I didn’t have friends, so I would read books about childhood friends. That’s how I developed my love for escaping, for reading books to transform the space and the circumstances that I’m in.

But there are a lot of different people throughout my life who have helped me understand how poetry can

be used in different spaces and for different efforts — how it can be a part of the healing process and how that is a form of activism, of resistance.

What themes do you like to explore through your poetry?

I always reference the word home, because I feel like when you are part of the diaspora, you’re always searching for a place where you’re accepted. If I can make someone feel at home, if I can make someone feel connected to someone or something, just for that four minutes of reading a poem — that is what I strive for.

In general, my poetry references womanhood, blackness and identity. Women in my family have always been the storytellers, the ones who passed down history that’s not in our textbooks. I kind of do that through poetry, too, where it’s a space of storytelling and recollection of history that isn’t recorded elsewhere.

How would you advise other young people to be a changemaker?

I don’t think it is necessarily about being a changemaker — it’s about finding something that is important to your life, important to your family, and just doing something about it.

Decide each day that you won’t be silent, that you want to further this work. Focus on the individuals — whether it’s your siblings, whether it’s your friends, whether it’s your teachers — and make the effort to make the world a better place for them. Eventually you will make the world a better place in general.

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Do you see writing and poetry as your eventual professional path in life?

I want to double-major in philosophy and political science, and then go to law school. But I also see poetry and storytelling as an effective way to get a message across, especially if you’re working on important issues. There needs to be a way to bring people together. I think poetry is that for me — kind of my secret weapon, if that makes sense.

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You really should read the full interview at parentmap.com/ISWY.

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8/17/20 1:18 PM

PARENT ING

Wellness Calling the Shots Do kids still need back-to-school checkups during a pandemic?

By Malia Jacobson So, why should parents prioritize backto-school wellness checkups when school is taking place online? First, staying in touch with your health-care providers at regular intervals is just plain good for your family’s health. Research links delayed preventive care to negative outcomes, such as increased health-care costs and a lower quality of life.

With most schooling remaining remote this fall, “back to school” season looks a little different. Many familiar habits of the season — riding school buses, maneuvering crowded school hallways and eating in bustling cafeterias — are on hold. But annual wellness checkups, or back-to-school exams, are just as important as ever, says internal medicine physician Darshana Shanbhag, M.D., of Overlake Medical Center in Bellevue.

Why postponing preventive care hurts Public health experts are concerned that parents are postponing preventive care for their children and themselves out of concerns about COVID-19. According to a May 2020 report released by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation (kff.org), doctor visits for women’s care and wellness screenings dropped 86 percent during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic.

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For children with chronic illness, missing regular wellness visits can negatively impact health well into adulthood. A seven-year, population-based study of 36,944 children found that for children with chronic disease, missed wellness checkups and reduced continuity of care — or a disruption in regular healthcare services over time — were each independently linked to an increased risk of being hospitalized as an adult.

If kids still want to play sports when practices resume, staying current on paperwork and vaccines required for sports participation will ease the transition back to sports. Plus, checking in with your child’s pediatrician about needed vaccines, boosters, prescription refills, screenings and referrals can serve as a welcome (and probably necessary) reminder to maintain a sense of normalcy during a time when things feel anything but normal.

Support for sleep, schedules and pressing questions A wellness checkup also allows parents to ask a real, live doctor the questions they’ve been mulling over, says Shanbhag.

“We’re getting a lot of questions like ‘Is it safe for my children to visit their grandparents?’ ‘Is it safe for us to go on a family vacation?’ ‘Is it safe for my child to have a playdate?’ Having a wellness checkup gives you the chance to talk about health risks in the current environment as they apply to your family’s unique situation.”

At this time of year, a fair share of those questions may center on sleep. The perennial struggle to help kids wake up for morning classes after a summer without an alarm clock may be particularly tough this year, since kids haven’t had to catch an early school bus since March. “This fall is not going to be normal,” says Scott Bonvallet, M.D., medical director of the Overlake Sleep Disorders Center.

But kids still need to get up for class, even if that class takes place on a screen instead of at school. “Kids thrive on structure, and it helps to keep their sleep routine stable,” says Bonvallet. “A few weeks before school starts, start waking them up earlier — no later than 9 a.m. — and establish a nighttime routine that includes putting electronics away an hour before bedtime.”

Putting on your own mask Kids aren’t the only ones who should schedule an annual wellness checkup; parents are skipping their own self-care, which hurts their health long-term, says Shanbhag. “Parents are working and schooling their children and don’t feel like they can take time for their own medical

care, and it’s taking a huge toll on their health.”

That means adults who were doing well before the COVID-19 pandemic are losing ground in terms of their health, says Shanbhag. “Stress affects so many areas of your life. We’re seeing people smoke more, sleep less, stop paying attention to what they eat, even running out of medication for weeks at a time without checking in with their doctor.” The result can be that health concerns, such as weight, blood pressure and blood sugar, can spin out of control.

When it comes to prioritizing your own health care, “It’s important to put on your own oxygen mask first,” she says. “If you take care of yourself, you can focus more on your kids, because you’re coming from a good place.”

Of course, Shanbhag acknowledges that it can be hard for parents to figure out a way to divide their time between parenting, work and remote schooling. “That’s why it’s great that insurance providers have pivoted to cover telehealth visits, and hospitals and clinics are offering virtual visits as an option for many patients.”

Video visits are quick (often lasting 20 minutes or less), covered by most insurance plans and can take place from your desk, your bedroom, even your car — anywhere you have access to a smartphone.

You are Safe in Our Care Health concerns don’t take a break during a pandemic. That’s why it’s important to receive the care you need to stay healthy. All services at the hospital and clinics are open to provide safe care for you and your family.

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Heading into a clinic for a face-to-face physical exam shouldn’t strike fear, either, Shanbhag notes. “We don’t see patients with respiratory symptoms in clinic, and we are taking all precautions to keep our patients safe. Right now, I would say it’s safer than going to the grocery store.”

At a time when parents are being stretched thin, your child’s pediatrician and your own health-care provider can be important sources of support, says Shanbhag.

“People should know that we are still here for them and want to help them stay healthy.”

■

Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist.

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / S CH O O L S + PR ES CH O O L S

Accounts We The homeschool-cool edition

By Diana Cherry

The back-to-school transition looks a whole lot different this year. As we navigate this very uncertain time, we could all use a little more inspo in our lives. What easier way than during our daily scrolls? Here are our top picks for homeschooling accounts we *heart* (and we think you should, too).

@wildandfree.co

@readaloudrevival

@theconsciouskid

@theconsciouskid

@kidscrafts101

@homeschoolingideas

Can we just say #homeschoolinggoals? We heart it because it’s chock-full of helpful, encouraging ideas and activities for families at home. @wildandfree.co Worksheets, and Zoom calls, and learning apps — oh, my! Sarah Mackenzie’s solution to at-home learning goals? Read aloud. For ideas on what to read to kids of all ages, check out her Instagram account, @readaloudrevival.

Black Lives Matter. How do we talk to our kids about race and other social justice issues? Enter: @theconsciouskid. With bite-size learning goals that will help you tackle big issues with your little people, your daily Instagram scroll can finally do some good.

Looking to take your popsicle stick creations to the next level? This site has all the inspiration you need. Can we just say, we already know you’re going to #nailit? @kidscrafts101 Ever had visions of becoming a preschool teacher? Just me? This Instagram site brings the classroom to life, with simple and fun ways to bring learning activities into your home using little more than a few baking and crafting supplies you probably already have on hand. @homeschoolingideas Wondering where to go with the kids in tow (especially now)? Seattle with Kids (@seattlewithkids) has ideas. And, yes, you can still #optoutside in a pandemic. Outdoor Puget Sound Childhood will show you how (@outdoorchildhoodpugetsound).

Want more IG inspo in your life? Follow @parentmap.

Diana Cherry is ParentMap’s social media strategist and trending editor.

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FE ATUR E

How to Get Your Kids to Do Chores

By Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

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Should you pay your kid for doing chores?

7 ways to motivate your kid to participate in household tasks Getting kids to help around the house isn’t typically easy. More often than not, our attempts are met with some form of resistance. The latest studies reveal that kids today are spending less time doing household chores than ever before.

Although there is a common misconception that young children cannot participate in domestic chores, some researchers say that there are many benefits to assigning chores to kids as young as age 3. Studies have found that giving kids age-appropriate, regular household tasks: • Helps them develop important skills, such as responsibility, self-reliance and accountability • Benefits kids socially, emotionally and academically • Fosters their autonomy • Increases their sense of being needed According to Marty Rossman, a retired University of Mississippi professor of family education, involving kids in chores is worth the effort. Beginning in 1967, Rossman collected data over a 25-year period to try to determine whether asking children to help with chores starting at age 3 or 4 had any correlation to success later on when those children were in their 20s. His research suggests that starting chores at an early age is among the greatest predictors of success as an adult.

Both Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of the book “How to Raise an Adult,” and Harvard Medical School faculty psychologist Richard Bromfield, author of “How to Unspoil Your Child Fast,” agree. In their view, letting kids skip household chores prevents them from developing important

There are divergent views on whether or not kids should be paid for doing chores. Many believe that doing chores is every family member’s responsibility and therefore no remuneration should be tied to the chores your child does. In other words, being a member of a family means participating accordingly in that family’s household chores. While the decision to pay kids for chores is largely personal, here are a few things to keep in mind: • Young children are rarely motivated by money.

skills they will need later on in life.

Here are 7 ways to motivate your kid to participate in household chores:

1. Be specific.

If you’re like most parents, you want your kids to participate in household chores, but you don’t know how to begin.

According to Bromfield, the first step is to clearly define exactly what you would like your kid to do, and what you want to achieve by assigning them chores.

Focus on your objectives: • Are there specific skills you would like your child to develop? Which chores can help you accomplish this?

• Do you want them to participate in chores that are meaningful for the whole family or only those that directly concern them (such as making their bed or cleaning their room)?

• If you expect your child to set the table, be specific: How often? Every day? One meal or all meals?

• Paying kids for specific chores that you would pay someone else to do can be a good way to teach kids about the relationship between work and money.

• Compensating kids for basic chores can breed a sense of entitlement.

Assigning chores to your kids is only one of the many ways of raising them to be happy and confident adults. For more practical examples of how to incorporate chores into your child’s development and many other resources for fostering your child’s autonomy, growth mindset and critical thinking skills, check out the author’s workbook “This Is What It Takes to Raise a Happy and Confident Adult” at raising-independent-kids.com.

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2. Be firm and consistent.

Many kids will resist household chores once they get past the age when helping to set the table is fun.

That’s why it’s important for your child to know that participating in household chores is not an option.

They need to know that everyone who lives in their home must participate in chores.

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You can only be firm and consistent once you know what’s negotiable and what’s non-negotiable. Being firm also means fighting the urge to do things yourself to save time — or messes.

3. Be willing to negotiate.

Evidence suggests that negotiation strengthens family bonds, and kids raised in families in which their voices are heard are more likely to cooperate. Take the time to listen to your kids. Be flexible. Tell your kids which household chores need to be done and then ask for their input: • How can the chores be distributed in a fair way?

• Who does what, when and how often?

• Duh, duh, duuhhh … What happens when the chores are not done?

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When kids feel involved in making decisions that concern them, they are far more likely to stick to those decisions.

4. Choose age-appropriate chores for your kid.

There are many benefits associated with assigning children household chores, but that’s only if those chores are age-appropriate. Even children younger than age 3 can participate in simple tasks, such as picking up toys.

Age-Appropriate Chores for Children This list of chores provides broad guidelines for age-appropriate tasks, but your child’s ability to do a chore will also depend on their level of development.

What chores can kids younger than 3 do?

• Pick up toys and books • Dust surfaces • Throw their diapers in the trash can • Water plants What chores should a 3- to 4-year-old do?

• All previously assigned chores • Put away toys • Put their dirty laundry in the laundry basket • Set and clear the table with help • Help clean small surfaces with a wet cloth • Wash hands by themselves • Help put away groceries • Fold their clothes with supervision • Choose their outfit and get dressed What chores can I give my 4- to 5-year-old?

• All previously assigned chores • Make their beds with minimal help • Help in the kitchen with supervision • Take care of a pet (e.g., feeding, brushing) • Hang up their towel after bathing What chores should a 6- to 7-year-old do?

• All previously assigned chores • Make bed without supervision • Answer the phone • Put away their laundry • Mop the floor • Put away clean dishes • Fold their clothes by themselves What are appropriate chores for 8- to 9-year-olds?

• All previously assigned chores • Clean their bedroom • Take out the trash • Rake leaves • Prepare simple meals What chores can 9- to 12-year-olds do?

• All previously assigned chores • Change their sheets • Wash dishes • Do homework by themselves • Vacuum and mop • Mow the lawn

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Remember that as your child grows older, they can take on more chores, but they should also reap more benefits when they do so. Associating benefits that come with additional chores with important milestones for kids (for example, on birthdays or at the start of a new school year) can be a great way to make the chores easier for kids to accept.

Generally speaking, the more a kid practices, the easier it will be for them to complete an assigned chore alone. If your child seems to struggle with a specific chore, help them do the chore until they are able to do it by themselves, or modify the chore to take their abilities into account.

5. Develop an effective family plan to encourage your kid to participate in household tasks.

Giving your child chore cards can be an effective approach to help them participate in chores more easily. For example, you

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can write down all the chores to be done and let your child pick the chores they want to do. You can ask younger children to pick fewer chore cards and older ones to pick more cards. You can also propose different cards for different kids to ensure that each of your children has age-appropriate chores.

Chore charts can also be highly effective in motivating kids to participate in household chores.

6. Show them how.

It’s easy to assume that your kid will automatically know how to perform household chores. But the truth is that your definition of a “tidy room” is unlikely to match that of your child’s. To avoid conflict, be clear about the chores you expect your child to do. If the chore is to dust the bookshelf, show them exactly what they are expected to do. If you want them to clean their room, be clear about what you expect (e.g., all books in the bookshelf, all clothes

in the wardrobe, no shoes and socks lying around).

If they don’t do what is expected, focus on the future — “Next time, I’d like you to … ” — until they do the chore as expected

7. Be sure your child is aware of consequences.

Now that you have determined age-appropriate chores for your children, what should you do if they don’t follow through or if they do a mediocre job? Once again, negotiation can come in handy and make it more likely that kids will cooperate. Ask them to come up with the consequences of a poorly done job: • Should some privileges be taken away?

• Should they repeat the chore?

• Was the chore not age-appropriate?

■

Sanya Pelini, Ph.D., is a parent and researcher in education who is passionate about child development issues.

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / BI RT HDAYS

Ease your kids into chores. Not all kids are willing to participate in chores, but certain strategies can make it easier for them to accept and do chores.

For instance, once you’ve assigned a chore to your child, asking them to help you do the chore or telling them to start it with you stepping in to help them finish it can be effective ways to motivate them to do those tasks. Chore charts or chore cards can also help your kid accept tasks more easily.

Be clear about your expectations. If you expect your kids to set the table every day, make them set the table every day. Giving your kid chores and failing to follow through teaches them that chores are optional.

Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Kids thrive on positive reinforcement, but that doesn’t mean that you have to offer them gifts in exchange for doing chores. It merely means that simple acts such as praising your kids’ efforts can motivate them to do their chores. Remember to be specific when you’re offering praise. You could say something like “It’s great how you’ve dusted every book on the shelf.�

Be willing to let go. There’s no way your 6-year-old daughter will make her bed like you would. That’s just the way it is. But does she have to? There’s no point in assigning chores to your child if you keep jumping in to “improve� upon what they’ve done.

Remember that what counts most is their participation, according to their abilities.

Let your kid participate in making decisions. The more your kid feels involved in the decisionmaking process, the more likely they will be to do the chores and to accept the consequences when chores are not done. Even something as simple as letting them pick their own chores from a list of predetermined, age-appropriate chores can go a long way in helping kids complete their tasks.

How to Avoid Chore Wars With Your Kid

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Easy, Awesome Birthday Party Snacks and Treats Clever and low-effort birthday party treats for kids

By Jackie Freeman

Keep bellies full and hands occupied at your next birthday party with these sweet and salty snacks and treats. These recipes are easy to make and just healthy enough that you won’t feel guilty serving them (along with all of that cake and ice cream)!

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Your weekly parenting fuel Stay up to date with the latest family news, stories and adventures around the Puget Sound — straight to your inbox.

Taste the rainbow • cookingclassy.com An indulgent sugar cookie crust is balanced with a colorful assortment of fresh fruit in everyone’s favorite dinner-turned-sweet: fruit pizza. And it couldn’t get any easier to make: Use store-bought cookie dough for the crust and a package of cream cheese for the “sauce.”

A little bit of magic • houseofnasheats.com For a fun activity and an easy party treat, make chocolate-covered pretzel rods.

Crunchy and sweet wands are coated in white, dark or milk chocolate or candy melts, and then easily customized with your favorite colored sprinkles. Swap in whole-wheat pretzels for a healthier twist.

Mini carnival • momontimeout.com Impress your guests (and please their tummies) with homemade mini corn dogs.

They are much healthier than what you can buy in the freezer section of your local grocery store, and no one has to know that they are actually super-easy to make!

Chilly treats • parentmap.com/banana-pops Frozen banana pops are a healthy take on a traditional Popsicle. Let kids mix and match their favorite toppings to create their own ice pops at the beginning of the party, and then enjoy eating their frozen creations at the end for dessert.

Duck, duck … chicken fries! • lecremedelacrumb.com Somewhere between chicken nuggets and French fries are baked chicken fries. Crispy

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and perfectly dippable in a favorite sauce (you can’t go wrong with ketchup, ranch or barbecue sauce), little ones will love gobbling up these protein-packed snacks.

Go fish • eatsamazing.co.uk It’s a tea party with a twist when you serve up adorable sushi sandwich roll-ups. And you don’t have to worry about picky eaters, because Eats Amazing gets you started with four great ideas, from tuna to PB&J. A little slice of heaven • onelittleproject.com All you need is four ingredients to make deep-dish-style mini pizzas. Even the finickiest eater can’t resist these bite-size creations, which only take 15 minutes to bake.

Find more ideas at parentmap.com/party-food.

■

Jackie Freeman is a recipe developer, food stylist, cookbook author, culinary tinkerer and mama.

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / BIRT H DAYS

PA R E N T M A P / S E P T E M B E R 2 0 2 0 / 2 5

FAM I LY F UN

September 18 Ways to Stress Less This Month

By Devon Hammer

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

Photo by Andy Lynch Photography

This is not exactly going to be the September we imagined.

For many parents, the usual excitement we feel as kids return to school has been replaced by dread. We are still stuck at home and now have to resume the role of accidental teacher, too!

But there is one teenytiny silver lining (in addition to the money saved on back-to-school shopping): Virtual school allows for more flexibility in our days, making getting out and about a little easier while we still have nice weather to enjoy. Read on for ways to de-stress and keep the fun rolling in September.

Editor’s note: Please remember to wear a mask when coming within 6 feet of anyone outside of your immediate household and follow all advisories related to safe recreating outdoors (parentmap.com/stay-safe).

1. Get picking! Although most

of the official state fruit grows in eastern Washington, there are some fabulous U-pick apple orchards open on this side of the mountains. Plan a day of harvesting the delicious produce Washington is known for worldwide. parentmap.com/apples

2. Sept. 5 and 6, 12 and 13:

Stand among sky-high sunflowers at Rutledge Corn

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Maze in Olympia. Take a wagon ride to the fields for photo ops and to pick your own sunshine flower to take home. Open these two weekends only. parentmap.com/sunflowers

3. Enjoy more space to walk,

roll and bike on Lake Washington Boulevard. The city has closed the street to vehicles (except for local access) full-time through Sept.

8 for safe recreating, with the possibility of it being extended through the end of the month. parentmap.com/keep-moving

and immerse yourself in nature at one of more than 100 Washington State parks. parentmap.com/free-days

5.

Sept. 13: The pandemic has made seeing grandparents especially hard. Shower them with love on Grandparents Day by leaving a handmade gift on their doorstep, doing a cele-

4.

Sept. 13 and 26: We have not one, but two Washington State Park free days this month. Park for free

Tacoma Ocean Fest: Celebrate the ocean in this free festival of arts, sciences and water fun.

Sept. 13

Highlighted Events for September

bratory drive-by, or simply by giving them a call. They will appreciate it more than ever this year. parentmap.com/ grandparents-day

5—6, 12—13

| Sat.—Sun.

|

26

Sunflower Festival

Fall City Apple Festival

National Public Lands Day

Rutledge Corn Maze, Olympia parentmap.com/sunflowers

Northwest Natural Horsemanship Center parentmap.com/apple-fest

Free entrance to state and national parks parentmap.com/free-parks

9.

6. Sept. 13: Celebrate this

Like it or not, we are currently living through a unique (to say the least) period in history. Start documenting this unprecedented time as a family with these helpful tips. parentmap.com/ pandemic-memories

7. Have a kid who needs more

Set sail to Bainbridge Island for a change of scenery and some ice cream! Ditch the car and take a walk-on ferry ride; there are plenty of walkable destinations once you’re on the island. parentmap.com/bainbridge

year’s Tacoma Ocean Fest virtually! Join online for talks, art tours and DIY science projects to learn more about our oceans and what you can do to help protect them. 10 a.m.– 5 p.m. parentmap.com/ocean-fest

than just a nudge to get out for a hike? Check out these Seattle-area hikes with a “prize.” We promise a noteworthy end to help entice even the most reluctant of hikers. parentmap.com/prize-hikes

8.

When working and schooling from home, who’s to say you have to actually stay at home?

Soak up the last warm rays of summer on one of these nearby getaways, only a short road trip away. parentmap.com/getaway

| Saturday

13 Sunday

make sure to check out the new Obstacle Course, Shadow Room and more. parentmap.com/hocm

16. Sept. 29: Now here’s a

10.

11. Experience the diverse

plant collection and historic Victorian-style setting of the W.W. Seymour Botanical Conservatory. Book your halfhour timeslot and get the whole place to yourself. Tuesday– Sunday, 11 a.m.–7 p.m. parentmap.com/seymour

12. Escape to Bellingham for

a night or even just the day.

With its outdoorsy, small-town charm, there are plenty of things to see and do while maintaining safe social distance. parentmap.com/bellingham

13. Sept. 22: Celebrate the

first day of fall by creating an autumn nature crown, acorn “owlies,” an apple-print wreath or any one of 15 other fall-related crafts. parentmap.com/fall-crafts

14. Sept. 26: Celebrate

National Public Lands Day with free entrance to any national park. Now is the time to visit Olympic National Park, Mount Rainier or any other natural or historic destination on your bucket list.

15. Hands On Children’s

national holiday Seattleites can get behind: National Coffee Day. Celebrate by branching out to try a new kid-friendly coffeeshop near you. Pumpkin spice latte, anyone? parentmap.com/coffeeshops

17.

Get out and see some seriously giant rocks! Find a glacial erratic near you and see if you can manage to climb atop it! parentmap.com/big-rocks

18.

Climb, slide, run and play at one of these newer playgrounds before they are consistently soaked by rain.

Make sure to check that the playground is open before heading out! parentmap.com/ best-new-playgrounds

■

Museum was one of the first children’s museums to reopen its doors. Book a two-hour session of exploration and

Devon Hammer is ParentMap’s Out + About editorial assistant and a mother of two.

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Get our educational worksheets, coloring pages, storybook videos & more!

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FAM I LY F UN

OUT + A B OU T

May the Course Be With You 5. King Family Fun Center in Puyallup (kingfamilyfuncenter.com) is open now for outdoor mini golf and fitness skating.

Maximum group size for mini golf is 5 people; cost is $10 for ages 13 and older, $8 for ages 12 and younger. Credit and debit cards only; no cash.

6. Groups of up to 5 people can play the

18-hole championship mini-golf course at Snohomish Valley Golf Center (snohomishvalleygolfcenter.com) in Snohomish. Cost is $10 for adults, $8 for ages 55 and older and 12 and younger. It’s first come, first-served, so no reservations are needed.

7. In Tacoma, Parkland Putters Interbay Golf Center Photo by JiaYing Grygiel

8 family- and budget-friendly mini-golf courses around the sound

By JiaYing Grygiel Golf, it turns out, is a sport that’s tailor-made for social distancing. After months and months of staying home, this relatively safe and inexpensive outdoor activity might be just what your family needs for its sanity. Here’s a list of terrific minigolf courses in the Greater Seattle area.

1. Interbay Golf Center (premiergc.com)

is located between the Seattle neighborhoods of Queen Anne and Magnolia. Putters and balls are available and sanitized between uses. Cost is $9 for adults, youths ages 17 and younger $6.50. Maximum size of a group: 5.

2 8 / PA R E N T M A P. C O M

2. The Family Fun Center in Tukwila (fun-center.com/tukwila) has two outdoor 18-hole mini-golf courses to try out. Mini golf here is recommended for ages 5 and older, and costs $10 plus tax per person.

Other open attractions include go karts, bumper boats, batting cages and more.

3. Call ahead to make a reservation at Rainbow Run Putting Course at Willows Run (willowsrun.com) in Redmond, as time slots fill up quickly. Loaner putters and balls are available, but bring your own equipment if you can. Cost is $12.65 for teens and adults; $8.63 for kids ages 12 and younger.

4. High Trek Adventures

(hightrekeverett.com) in Everett is known for its huge ropes course with zip lines, and it also offers laser tag, axe throwing (!) and an 18-hole mini-golf setup. Cost is $8 for ages 11 and older, $5 for ages 7–10, or $5 with the purchase of a same-day ropes course ticket.

(miniaturegolftacoma.blogspot.com) offers four levels of mini-golf courses — ranging from easy to hard. Sand traps, trees, hills and hidden holes will give you extra challenges to conquer. Cost is $6.50 for ages 13 and older, $5.50 for ages 12 and younger, and $3.50 for extra games.

8. Mini golf, go karts and batting cages are open at Mike N Terry’s Outdoor Fun Park (mikenterrys.com) in Puyallup. Mini golf runs $8.50 for one course, $12.75 for both; kids under 48 inches in height are $4.25.

Bring cash, your own hand sanitizer and a pen for keeping score.

BONUS: When you’re ready to take your golf game to the next level, head to Green Lake Pitch & Putt (greenlakegolfcourse.com).

Call same day to reserve your tee time and bring your masks — they’re required. Cost is $9 for adults, or $7 for youths ages 17 and younger and seniors 65 and older.

■

JiaYing Grygiel is a freelance photographer and writer who lives in Seattle, where she takes too many pictures of her two sons and blogs at photoj.net.

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

10 DIY Recycled Toys for Crafty Kids Creative toys that are affordable, green and oh so fun!

By Tiffany Doerr Guerzon

All parents whose child has pushed an expensive toy aside to play with the box it came in know that children often enjoy simple toys the most. Many playthings can be easily made at home with inexpensive and even recycled materials. We’ve rounded up 10 DIY toys that even the least crafty parent can create. Paint flat rocks in rainbow colors to make a stacking toy, create make-believe cake slices with sponges and glitter, or build your own sensory board!

Cardboard beads for threading • theimaginationtree.com Oversize beads and pipe cleaners make a great threading activity for little hands.

Create cardboard beads from cut-up paper towel or toilet paper tubes, as detailed on The Imagination Tree. Decorate the beads with paint, duct tape or patterned paper, or turn the kids loose with markers and stickers.

Felt vegetable garden • adventures-in-making.com The Adventures in Making blog offers sweet

instructions for making an adorable felt vegetable garden. The planter box is filled with “dirt” made of brown felt bolsters, in between which the veggies can be tucked in or “planted.” Make colorful felt veggies following the free downloadable pattern to complete your child’s colorful garden.

Pretend sponge cake • thecrafttrain.com Once the kids have played with their vegetables, it’s time for cake! Perfect for playing bakery or tea party, kids can help create layered cakes with felt, glitter, pompoms and colorful sponges. Pop on over to The Craft Train blog to snag free templates.

DIY sensory board • funathomewithkids.com Take a trip to the hardware store for MDF (medium-density fiberboard) and a variety of household items for babies to manipulate and you will have all of the ingredients you need for a sensory board. Babies and toddlers will love feeling the carpet swatch, turning a light switch on and off, and looking in a mirror. Mount the board on a wall at the perfect height for a sitting baby; find all the details on Fun at Home With Kids.

Chalkboard wood blocks • hellobee.com Create an adorable cityscape using just one 2-by-4 piece of lumber. The author of the Hellobee blog had the wood cut into various shapes, and then sanded the blocks and painted them with chalkboard paint. Kids can draw their own details on the blocks, erase them and then draw new ones the next day.

Fishing toy • tidbits-cami.com You’ll need only basic sewing skills to make fabric fish with a magnet inside. The Tidbits blog will show you how to create this toy, even walking you through how to make the wooden reel. Your little fisher will be amused for hours!

Rainbow stacking stones • cbc.ca/parents If your kids love to collect rocks, put those stones to good use by creating a stacking and balancing game like the one detailed on CBC Parents. Paint your stackers with rainbow hues or alternating colors to add pattern recognition to this learning toy.

Water-bottle bowling pins • canadianfamily.ca This super-simple craft from Canadian Family makes use of water bottles that would otherwise be discarded or recycled.

Kids can help a parent shake the paint inside the bottles (once the cap is on tight).

The pins are lightweight, perfect for indoor bowling with a soft ball.

Tactile tugging toy • theimaginationtree.com Any empty, lidded canister will work to create this fun toy project from The Imagination Tree. Babies and toddlers will enjoy pulling the ribbons back and forth through the slots. Using ribbons with various textures makes this toy a tactile experience.

DIY portable dino play mat • fivekindsofhappy.com Amy, author of the Five Kinds of Happy blog, came up with a great portable toy. She used a sewing machine to make the mat, but you can make this project “no sew” by using fabric glue or fusible webbing.

Your kids then add their own dino toys and other items from nature to the playscape.

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Tiffany Doerr Guerzon is a freelance writer, the mother of three children and author of “Save Money on Groceries by Going Back to Basics.”

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S , ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

Do you know a girl who LOVES to sing?

SEATTLE GIRLS CHOIR has a non-audition prep choir for girls in K-1 which provides a foundation for choral singing!

• Fall rehearsals online • Learn more and register at

seattlegirlschoir.org/Piccolini

Let her voice be heard!

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ONLINE ART CLASSES FOR TEENS

AGES 12-18 @GAGEACADEMY 206.323.4243 WWW.GAGEACADEMY.ORG/FALL-TEENS/

Try Our Try Our Free Demo Free Demo Class!

Class!

Sunshine Music Together Weekly online music for children birth Weekly music classclass for children birth to age 5 & the grown-ups who LOVE them! www.sunshinemusictogether.com 206.281.1111 Queen Anne Queen Anne Anne Montlake Montlake Capitol Hill West Seattle West Seattle West Seattle Greenlake Greenlake Green Lake Lynnwood Redmond Redmond

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PAREN T ING

Parent Day Jobs How do you describe the mission of the series?

Our mission is to inspire and advance early learning for young children of color. We do that by offering a locally produced television show and related programming that’s anchored in research about what works best for promoting school readiness.

Photo courtesy of “Look, Listen & Learn”

Meet Val Thomas-Matson An inspiring local executive producer is helping to bridge the opportunity gap for BIPOC children

By Patty Lindley

Longtime TV producer and host Val Thomas-Matson is the creative force behind “Look, Listen and Learn,” a new community-powered TV series (which airs locally on public television stations and on YouTube; looklistenandlearn.org) designed to encourage BIPOC children to take their rightful place in the world. She anchors each episode as Auntie Lena, an ultra-reassuring character who dialogues with a sweet-tempered puppet friend named Possum to explore the meaning of core developmental preoccupations of childhood (e.g., making friends, coping with change) — as well as far more difficult concepts

to grasp, such as the COVID-19 pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement. We caught up with Thomas-Matson to learn more about the series.

What inspired you to create “Look, Listen and Learn”?

As an African American — as a Black woman — growing up in Seattle and attending T.T. Minor Elementary School in the Central District, I was part of the product of Washington’s failure to make sure that all schools are equitably resourced. I think that was really the earliest seed. I knew there needed to be a way to creatively get at this issue.

Share a bit about the creative development process behind the series?

“Look, Listen and Learn” is founded in race and social justice, early learning developmental principles, brain development research and real people. We knew early on that we wanted to use puppetry — and a little bit of animation — to convey foundational principles of reading, writing and arithmetic, as my mom used to say.

Who is Auntie Lena?

Auntie Lena is your favorite auntie. I am one of those women who grew up in a Black and multicultural tradition of the extended family. Although I didn’t have any kids, although I wasn’t an educator, I still know a thing or two about what children need to succeed in life.

And that’s unconditional love.

How has the pandemic influenced how you’re thinking about the series?

COVID-19 is an equal opportunity issue, so it has affected us in the same ways that it’s affected everybody else. But it has also absolutely incited our creative juices. We have implemented what we call mini-ep-

isodes, which are short Zoom conversations between Auntie Lena and Possum. The first mini-episode had to do with COVID-19. Possum didn’t understand why everybody was wearing masks. Was this a new Halloween thing? Auntie Lena had to share with Possum that, no, he was being a community helper by wearing his mask and washing his paws.

It was the same with Black Lives Matter. Possum wanted to know why people were marching by his tree in a parade, yelling, “Black lives matter!” Auntie Lena explained to him that it is because Black lives don’t matter equally in this country, and until that happens, people are going to continue to remind us that Black lives matter.

What do you recommend white families do to support the Black Lives Matter movement?

One of the things I talk about with “Look, Listen and Learn” is we want the series to be out there for all families. Although we are focusing on representing Latin and indigenous and people of color, everybody needs to see “Look, Listen and Learn” so that they recognize the wonder, the beauty, the creativity, the intelligence of our BIPOC children.

What can parents do to support the great work of LL + L? We want folks to log on to our website [looklistenandlearn.org] please and make a donation. If you’re really looking for a Black Lives Matter organization to donate to, guess what? We’re a Black-led organization!

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Read the full interview at parentmap.com/LLL.

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Is Jewish Day School

RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY? Do you want a school that is able to offer meaningful digital learning and community building experiences?

Do you want your children to feel connected to their Jewish heritage?

Is academic excellence a priority in your family?

Are you searching for a school where student and family support are part of the culture?

Does your child thrive in small class settings?

Do you believe that great teachers make great students?

Do you like the idea of your kids knowing how to read and speak Hebrew?

If you knew generous ďŹ nancial aid was available, would you apply?

If you checked 3 or more of these boxes, explore your options at samisfoundation.org/jewish-schools