Tips to Help Your Child Gain Confidence in the Classroom

By Jan Pierce

ur children have had a rough several years of

Olearning due to the pandemic and now it’s time to re-focus on classroom interactions. Some younger children haven’t had time to experience the way a classroom normally works. How do they behave in a large group? What if they need help? What if they make a mistake? How responsive will the teacher be to individual needs? Parents can help children take optimal advantage of their learning environment by teaching some basic learning skills. Your child doesn’t have to be top of the class to enjoy learning and be a thriving, healthy part of his or her classroom.

Here are some tips to help your child be a proactive, happy learner:

BE PREPARED TO LEARN

Teachers notice when children come to school prepared to learn. They have the right supplies; they’ve eaten breakfast and have had enough sleep. They brought back the permission slip for the field trip and they have their lunch money.

Yes, it’s a lot of work for parents to keep up with all the activities at school. And at some point children need to take responsibility for those things themselves, but not yet. Not when they’re in grade school and are just learning how to manage responsibilities. Be the parent who takes care of business and put your child in the best position to receive approval from the folks at school.

Be the parent who takes care of business and put your child in the best position to receive approval from the folks at school.

KNOWING WHEN TO LISTEN CAREFULLY

The best student in the world can’t be on high listening alert all day long. But successful students know when to listen carefully and that is one of the most important skills a student can learn. You can explain to your child that it’s vital to listen carefully when a teacher is giving exit directions before independent work times. These times usually come when the entire class is gathered and a new subject is introduced. Just before the children move to work independently the explicit directions are given. Good teachers usually leave written directions where students can refer to them as they work.

Practice listening skills with your children. When are the times you need them to listen and remember? Help them see the difference between casual listening and focused listening when they need to act on the directions given. Continued on page 18 >>>

KNOWING HOW TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS

It may seem easy to adults, but children often don’t know how to follow directions. Most directions are sequential: “Get your paper, write your name at the top, then do problems one through ten.” For some children all the words get jumbled up and they fail to do the first thing correctly. You can practice following directions at home and teach coping skills if the child forgets. Listening and following directions are key skills in learning and the earlier children can perform in these areas, the better they’ll do on classroom assignments.

Play a game in which you give two directions: “Go to the door and tap on it three times, then stand by the coffee table.” When the child can do two directions correctly try for three. Keep adding until a mistake is made. Children can become quite adept at following directions using this method. KNOWING HOW TO ASK QUESTIONS

Here is a typical conversation in a first grade classroom: Teacher: Does anyone have any questions before we start our work? Student: “My hamster had babies last night.”

This little interchange may bring smiles to adult’s faces, but it highlights the fact that many children don’t know the difference between statements and questions. And, they don’t understand the difference between appropriate questions and those that are off-task. Asking questions at the appropriate time and about the topic at hand is absolutely one of the most important skills a learner can master. It’s good to ask questions when we need information or clarification. It’s smart to ask good questions. But a child who hasn’t really mastered the art of asking will be lost, and without the information they need to do a good job.

Practice asking clear, concise questions. “I understand how to write complete sentences using these Your child may not solve every math problem correctly, but if he is a good friend and a kind, caring person, you’ve got a lot to be proud of and the classroom is enriched.

words, but I don’t understand how you want me to change the action words. Vague questions like “How do I do this?” or statements like “I don’t get it.” leave the teacher wondering where to begin. Say to your child, “What, exactly do you need? And then prompt until the question is clear.

SOCIAL SKILLS: KINDNESS AND BEING AWARE OF OTHERS’ NEEDS

Not every child will earn straight A’s. Yes, there are average students in every classroom. And that’s okay if the child is working to his or her potential. But some children seem more adept at building relationships and maintaining friendships than others. This is the child who notices when a friend is sad or needs to borrow a pencil. This is the child who shares with others and takes turns. He plays fair. She notices when a friend needs encouragement.

Don’t underestimate the value of social skills when it comes to success in the classroom. Your child may not solve every math problem correctly, but if he is a good friend and a kind, caring person, you’ve got a lot to be proud of and the classroom is enriched. Help your child notice when others seem sad. Guide them to ways to help or share or show they care.

Practice: “Did you notice that Katie seemed sad today? I wonder if we could do something to cheer her up?” Or, “I like the way you shared your Legos with your friends. Being a good friend is really important in our family.”

Success in the classroom is more than achieving high marks on assignments. Just as in all of life, being a responsible, kind and caring person is just as important as being the best at what we do. Give your kids a boost by teaching them to master good classroom skills and watch them soar. Y Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and the author of Homegrown Readers and Homegrown Family Fun. Find Jan at www.janpierce.net.

20 Reasons Why Christmas with Teens is Amazing By Katy M. Clark

“Ugh, I’m out of food coloring!” I cried, peering into

the cupboard. It was the last thing I needed to finish the Christmas cookies.

Sigh. I’d already made enough runs to the store that I was on a first name basis with Sue, the cashier from checkout lane 6.

That’s when I turned to my teenage son, 17, sitting on the couch looking at his phone.

“Heeeeeeey,” I said. “Could you go get me some food coloring?”

“Sure,” he replied. He sprang up, grabbed the car keys, and took off.

It was like I had my own Christmas elf! Which was a pretty awesome perk of celebrating the holiday season with older kids.

Indeed, as my teenage son and his sister have shown me as they’ve grown older, there are plenty of reasons why Christmas with teens rocks.

Here are 20 of them:

A little bit of financial independence. You know what my son said when I offered him $5 to pay for the food coloring? “That’s okay, Mom. I have money.” Now that’s a Christmas miracle!

Teens are sturdier. I no longer fear that my kids will break the heirloom ornaments, topple over while helping with the outdoor lights, or drop the china when setting the table for Christmas dinner.

Their palates have matured. Gone are the days of picky eating, like the Christmas dinner when my preschooler ate nothing but rolls and brown sugar meant for the sweet potatoes. As a teen he’ll eat almost anything. (Okay, he still loathes onions!) Teens are more helpful with cooking and baking. They can chop the veggies and make the gravy. They can whip up extravagant dishes and desserts, whether because they are taking culinary classes or just want to emulate something they saw on TikTok.

Better yet, teens can clean the kitchen all by themselves when they are done. They don’t need supervision or nagging. Well, maybe a little bit of nagging.

I am no longer in charge of dressing them for the weather. Yup, gone are the days of wrangling them into winter gear a la Randy’s mom in A Christmas Story. Of course, I hope my teenage son wears a coat, but if he doesn’t, that’s on him, not me.

Big kids care about tradition. Whether it’s putting out the sock snowman they made in first grade or using Grandma’s recipe to make molasses cookies, teens genuinely appreciate tradition and connection with loved ones and holidays in the past.

Teenagers are still kids at heart, just bigger. They want to leave a plate of cookies out for Santa. They pile in the car when it’s time for our family to drive around and admire holiday lights. Their faces still light up with joy when opening gifts.

As the mom of teens, I am liberated from the Elf on the Shelf. We had a good run, but nowadays I can sit back (a little bit!) and relish the real magic of the season, which is simply being together.

And I love being together with them. This is in stark contrast to the days when they were younger, we’d all be stir crazy by New Year’s and I couldn’t wait for school to start again. With teens I wish time would slow down so I could linger in these special days with them.

Christmas with teens rocks because I no longer fret so much about the gifts. I don’t stress about hiding presents or scramble to obtain that deeply desired yet widely unavailable toy. (Do not ask me about the lengths to which I went to get my kids Zhou Zhou pets one year!)

Teens are happy to receive clothes as gifts, too. Remember the pouty faces or whiny voices as youngsters when they opened gifts and discovered clothes? Now my son is stoked to get a hoodie and my daughter is giddy to see duds from her favorite store.

And if by chance my teens are disappointed by a gift? They are mature enough to handle it. It’s not like that time my three-year-old ran from the room crying when a toy did not work. I think that year’s very vocal disappointment still lingers in the ether.

Teens give better gifts, too. I know, I know, gifts are not the real meaning of the season. But while I treasure the drawings and painted rocks from yesteryear, it touches my heart when my teens give me a book, they knew I wanted to read or a scarf they saw me admire.

They can wrap gifts themselves. My teenage daughter is masterful when it comes to using paper, tissue, and ribbon. She’s a big help with all the wrapping if I’m busy or just plain tired of doing it all myself. Plus, I don’t worry about her running with scissors anymore! Their taste in holiday shows and movies is more palatable. Sure, I enjoyed watching classics like Frosty the Snowman when they were little. But not thirteen times in a row. Now my teenagers are just as excited as I am to watch grown-up movies like The Holiday or Die Hard that they never would have sat through as tots.

Teens can stay up late. Whether it’s watching our favorite movies together or going to the midnight Christmas Eve service at church, gone are the years when I had to hustle them to bed by a certain hour.

Teens sleep in on Christmas morning. They no longer rouse the entire household at the crack of dawn to open gifts. Christmas morning with big kids has a decadent, tranquil feel.

Teens grasp the meaning of Christmas in a deeper way. I love that we have profound talks about faith this time of year. It touches my heart, too, when I see them donate jackets to the homeless or put their own money in the red kettles.

And the 20th reason why Christmas with teens rocks? Because it is still the most wonderful time of year, no matter if they are five or fifteen years old. And it’s an amazing gift every day, but especially at Christmas, to be the one that my teens call Mom. Y

Katy M. Clark is a writer and mom of two who embraces her imperfections on her blog Experienced Bad Mom.