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Observer YOU. YOUR NEIGHBORS. YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

HALEY WATSON 6-7 FREE • MAY 2020

VOLUME 4, NO. 11

Spec building generates jobs Herbal extraction company buys Flagler County ‘spec’ building for $2.65 million PAGE 5

County staff, Captain’s BBQ agree to terms

DINING’S NEW NORMAL

If the commission approves the agreement, the restaurant’s lawsuit against the county will not proceed to a jury trial.

JONATHAN SIMMONS NEWS EDITOR

Almost a year after the county government and Captain’s BBQ entered mediation over the restaurant’s use of county-owned Bings Landing park, the county and the restaurant have reached a tentative agreement that would keep the restaurant in its current building in the park, with the county performing some renovations.

The County Commission indicated its approval of the agreement May 18, and will vote on it at a future meeting.

“You know what’s going to happen as we get closer to the final decision — there will be some squabbling from the local people out there,” County Commission Chairman David Sulli-

Photo by Jonathan Simmons

Restaurants reopen, adjusting seating and procedures

JONATHAN SIMMONS NEWS EDITOR

Local restaurants are hoping for good weather and customers’ patience as they optimize outdoor seating and encourage customers to comply with social distancing directives while reopening under the state’s reopening plan.

“We’ve seen a lot of excitement and eagerness from our guests and our local community, just wanting to get out of the house, come out and support their local businesses,” said Scott Fox, co-owner of Tortuga’s Florida Kitchen and Bar in Flagler Beach.

Fox noted that COVID-19 is just the latest crisis in the last four

years or so for Flagler Beach businesses — following Hurricanes Matthew, Irma and Dorian, plus A1A reconstruction that’s diverted traffic from shops and restaurants.

“Just the fact that a lot of these businesses, as well as ourselves, are open is a testament SEE RESTAURANTS PAGE 2

SEE BBQ PAGE 5

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Rockin’ the Runway When: June 26 (Journey tribute), June 27 (ELO tribute).

Schedule: Gates open at 4 p.m. Opening acts at 6. Main attraction at 7:15. Fireworks on both nights at 8:45.

Details: Rain or shine, at the Flagler Executive Airport. No coolers or pets. Must wear masks. Bring your own, or one will be provided.

Cost: Parking $5, tickets $35 for reserved seating, or $20 for festival seating (bring your own chair). Visit www. flaglerbroadcasting.com Charities: Flagler Beach Rotary, Flagler Youth Orchestra, Teens In Flight, Ed Foundation, Volunteer Services

INSIDE

Tuscan Strong A parade was held May 15, at Tuscan Gardens at Palm Coast, and maintenance workers have created a safe visitation area.

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MAY 2020

Restaurants reopen, adjusting seating CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

to how resilient we are,” Fox said.

Tortuga’s offered takeout throughout the closure, and has now reopened outdoor seating.

The state’s executive order on restaurant reopening allows unlimited outdoor seating, as long as guests are positioned far enough apart, but it restricts indoor seating to a maximum of 50% of normal capacity.

In the case of Tortuga’s, most of the seating was already outdoor anyway, Fox said: The restaurant has about 130-140 exterior seats, and only a couple of dozen interior ones. They opted to keep the indoor seating closed for now.

“It was a precautionary measure,” Chestnut said. “We just wanted to emphasize safety.”

Some of the restaurant’s approximately 70 staff members, he said, are caretakers for family members who are in the high-risk category for the virus.

State announcements preceding the Monday, May 4, reopening seemed to drive a lot of people onto the beach that weekend, Chestnut said.

Fox noted that contradictory information circulating on social media about the reopening process has placed the restaurant’s staff in the sometimes awkward position of having to educate customers about what’s allowed and what’s not.

“Everyone’s been very patient, though,” Chestnut said, “whether it’s regulars or the tourists, every-

body’s been very accommodating.

Not everyone has their full inventories, some things like beef have been tricky to get. ... Everybody who’s been to our place, for the most part, they’ve been fantastic.”

At Oceanside Beach Bar and Grill, co-owner Johnny Lulgjuraj said guests seem to be behaving responsibly.

“They’re keeping their distance; they’re being very respectful, even though a lot of them, they’re not sold 100% on the dangers, per se,” he said.

Like Tortuga’s, Oceanside benefitted from having plenty of outdoor seating even before the COVID-19 crisis. But Oceanside also closed entirely for about a month during the crisis.

The restaurant employed about 80 people before the pandemic, Lulgjuraj said, and had brought back about 60 as of May 13.

Staff members must answer a series of screening questions when they enter the building, and guests entering will pass a placard displaying the rules.

Lulgjuraj has been concerned by some of the behavior he’s seen from people who’ve been angrily “combative” about social distancing.

“The dirty looks, people being very hateful and negative, that’s a little disconcerting to me,” he said. “I’m really hoping that we use this as an opportunity, with all the social distancing, to come together and be better and stronger — with a little better hygienic technique.”

HAMMOCK

BRIEFS Officials ask beachgoers to park in designated areas

County sends firefighters to battle Panhandle wildfires

Residents and visitors have been enjoying all 18 miles of beach in Flagler County, which is open for exercise and relaxation with a social-distancing requirement.

Officials ask only that the barrier island and the beach be treated with respect: Park in designated areas and clean up appropriately before leaving.

“Enjoy a great day at the beach and take home great memories,” said Flagler Beach Police Chief Matt Doughney. “Please park in the direction of the flow of traffic – not against it – stay off sidewalks, and don’t block private driveways. Parking is a quality of life issue for residents, so please treat parking on the island like it is your own neighborhood.”

The city of Flagler Beach has free municipal parking lots that are no further than one block away from the beach:  311 N. Central Ave.  109 N. Fifth St.  504 S. Oceanshore Blvd. (at South 6th & A1A)  118 S. Eighth St. County-owned beachside parks are listed below:  River to Sea Preserve, 9805 N. Oceanside Blvd.  MalaCompra Park, 115 MalaCompra Road  Old Salt Park, 200 16th Road  Jungle Hut Park, 125 Jungle Hut Road  Varn Park, 3665 N. Oceanshore Blvd.

Flagler County Fire Rescue is sending one of its engines and four firefighters to the Panhandle to battle wildfires.

“I coordinated two strike teams for deployment comprised of 10 engines and 44 firefighters from five counties, including ours, and Jacksonville,” said Fire Chief Don Petito. “There are 11 fires in the region – two large fires that destroyed homes. Engine 16 deployed directly from the station last night around 9 p.m.”

Flagler County firefighters Dave Hudson, Sean Walker, Alex Patton and David Dufek are deploying as part of one of the strike teams on a three-day mission.

Petito reported that the Musette Bayou Fire in South Walton County grew to over 600 acres and burned 100 structures, including 30 homes. The 5-mile Swamp Fire in Santa Rosa County started out as a 250-acre fire that quickly grew to more than 2000 acres, and burned 18 structures.

“It will be interesting to see how the command post, evacuation centers, and crews working the fire line will be able to practice social distancing while concentrating on their tasks,” he said.

There are 52 active wildfires in the state. The Keetch-Byram Drought Index in Flagler County is 360 on a scale where the driest condition is 800.

Observer “If we are to build a better world, we must remember that the guiding principle is this — a policy of freedom for the individual is the only truly progressive policy.”

Friedrich Hayek “Road to Serfdom,” 1944

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MAY 21, 2020

YOUR NEIGHBORS YOUR TOWN

Shout it from the rooftop

VIRTUAL LAW ENFORCEMENT MEMORIAL CEREMONY

About 50 cars showed up for the parade at Tuscan Gardens, at 650 Colbert Lane.

Photos by Brian McMillan

Tuscan Gardens of Palm Coast adjusts to pandemic restrictions BRIAN MCMILLAN EXECUTIVE EDITOR

A

s assisted living facilities around the state have had to adjust to life with no visitors, the maintenance team at Tuscan Gardens of Palm Coast got creative.

Ray Robinson and Dani Gomez installed two plexiglass panels across double doors to create a safe place for visitations, similar to the concept of plexiglass panels at cash registers at restaurants and stores.

“They’re using it,” Robinson said. “We get five to six families every day.”

The visitations are scheduled by appointment so that there isn’t a line forming, and the panels are cleaned between each appointment.

Robinson and Gomez are adjusting their maintenance routines in other ways, as well.

They’ve been distributing mail, helping with happy hour deliveries.

“We do anything to be there for the residents,” Robinson said.

“I’ve called bingo. Normally, that’s not us. But everybody here has stepped outside their pre-

Lisa Annaheim

scribed jobs to make things work.”

Robinson and Gomez also decorated a white truck with a sign that featured wrenches ziptied to a poster, to participate in a parade for families to visit the residents.

The parade, on May 15, drew more than 50 vehicles, many decorated with signs and window paint. One driver attached empty cans to a bumper and dragged the cans through the parade route in front of the facility. Some cars blasted music; all smiled and waved.

Meanwhile, the residents sat under umbrellas or in the shade of the overhang and smiled and waved back.

Gail Kerr visited her mother, Betty Westenhiser, a Tuscan resident, who turned 96 on May 15.

Kerr and her husband, Charles, were pleased with the plexiglass solution set up by Robinson and Gomez; they were among the

Sandrine Kent, Evynn Roberson, Janine Roberson and Jaxton Roberson arrived for the parade, to visit Janine’s mother, Marie Brandly.

Maintenance workers Dani Gomez and Ray Robinson

families who had taken advantage of it.

Flagler Beach Police Capt.

Lance Blanchette also attended. “It’s worth it to see the smiles on people’s faces,” he said. “If we can put a little joy in people’s lives, I’m more than happy to do it.”

Pat Broadbrook, with Director of Health Services Jennifer Rogers

Flagler Beach Police Capt.

Lance Blanchette

The 2020 Law Enforcement Memorial ceremony conducted by the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office was presented in a virtual format on the FCSO’s Facebook and YouTube channels on May 15.

Sheriff Rick Staly and FCSO Chaplain Michael Desroches led the virtual ceremony, which is meant to honor law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty.

Traditionally the FCSO holds a ceremony at the Flagler County courthouse at dusk that commences with a walk to the memorial monument at the old Sheriff’s Operations center. The concerns and restrictions caused by the COVID-19 pandemic forced a virtual option.

“Although we cannot hold our normal ceremony, I did not want this day to pass without recognizing the men and women in law enforcement that have made the ultimate sacrifice as public servants,” Staly said. “To the friends and family of the fallen, please know that we stand with you, we mourn with you and we remember your fallen heroes with you.”

SCHOOL PROGRAMS TO BEGIN VIRTUALLY; CAMPUSES COULD OPEN IN JULY The Summer Reading, STEM, and ESE Extended School Year programs will be conducted virtually.

The 21st Century summer program run by Flagler Technical Institute will also begin the summer on a virtual platform as well as the Road to Success program.

Students qualifying for these opportunities will be notified.

All other activities on campuses are on hiatus, as are any programs run by third-party groups. The district hopes to open campuses to students July 1.

“We continue to monitor federal, state and local guidelines as we make these decisions,” Flagler Schools Superintendent James Tager said. “I know this news may be difficult for some of our families, but we must adhere to these guidelines given to us by the medical experts.”

Flagler Schools’ mobile feeding sites will continue to operate through the summer.

Food and Nutritional Services will have updates to locations and times in the next couple of weeks.

Send Your Town stories to jonathan@ palmcoastobserver.com.

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MAY 2020

Flagler students team up to help kids swap free sports equipment SWAP group wins state FPS competition, heads to virtual international competition.

BRIAN MCMILLAN EXECUTIVE EDITOR

When one of Ben Kopach’s teammates broke a soccer cleat the day before a game, it looked like the teammate was out of luck. He couldn’t order a new pair of size 13 cleats in time to play.

But Kopach had a solution, thanks to his Community Problem Solvers group, Flagler County Sports SWAP, which stands for Students Wanting Athletic Participation. The group, which won first place in its division in the Florida Future Problem Solvers competition in April, collects donations of sports equipment, organizes it, displays it, and then gives it away to anyone who needs it. If families are able to donate their outgrown equipment in exchange for lightly used equipment, great, but, if not, the donated equipment is given away.

When his teammate’s cleat broke, Kopach remembered that a size 13 pair of cleats had recently been donated to SWAP. He was able to make the connection and help his teammate play in the game.

“When I handed over the cleat, it was a good feeling that he wouldn’t have to sit on the bench and not be able to play,” Kopach recalled in a Zoom interview with the Palm Coast Observer.

STARTING SWAP

Kopach, a freshman at Matanzas High School, is joined in the group by some of his childhood friends: Jake Blumengarten and Tommy Sturman, both freshmen at Flagler Palm Coast High School; and Aiden White, an eighth grader at Indian Trails Middle School. The FPS official who interviewed Kopach for the state competition told him that this was the first group he could remember that featured students from both high school and middle school.

SWAP’s coach is Amy Kopach, Ben’s mother. She said all four of the boys have played sports for years, and the parents would sometimes arrange with each other to trade sports equipment, some of which was used for one only season before it was outgrown.

As they started SWAP, the boys took surveys and found that it was a common struggle among Flagler County families. They also had memories from other players on their own teams.

“One time I was in the middle of a game, and my teammate showed up, and he didn’t have a glove,” recalled Sturman. “Then I remembered I had a spare glove in my bag, so I let him use it.”

Blumengarten recalled a football player having to borrow a cleat during one game. “It was really cool to see how some people who aren’t fortunate can get support so they can play the sport they want to play,” he said.

Courtesy photo

Tommy Sturman, Aiden White, Ben Kopach and Jake Blumengarten collected about $12,000 worth of used sports equipment to give away in the SWAP shop.

SHOPPING FOR FREE

On Jan. 21, SWAP opened a storefront at Shepherd of the Coast Lutheran Church, 101 Pine Lakes Parkway, where people could come and “shop” for free equipment on Monday evenings. It was only open for about six weeks before it had to close due to the pandemic.

But in that time, the boys were busy. About $12,000 worth of equipment had been donated, and there was participation from many sports leagues around town. At the shop, there were sometimes 10 families waiting for help with equipment.

White recalled one family that had just moved to town and had no equipment to play baseball.

The child walked away with an equipment bag, mitt, bat, helmet, cleats — everything.

“They were very thankful,” White said.

SWAP will compete in the

PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS Ben Kopach’s mother, Amy Kopach, is a teacher at Rymfire Elementary School and is the coach of SWAP. “The Future Problem Solving program is amazing, and, as a teacher, I see how much it helps them with school,” she said.

“I feel like all these boys are like my own personal children. It’s great to see them doing something they love — sports — and I don’t even know if they realize how much it affects them, putting the smiles on

families’ faces.”

She said she has joked with her husband that this will be what they’ll be doing in their retirement together: running the SWAP shop.

But it will be worth it.

“It’s really great see them think about their community, think about the problem, find a solution,” she said. “It’s a lot to do when you’re a young student, to talk to professionals and ask them for help. You’re creating a great lifelong skill.”

International Competition in June, online. Email flaglerswap@ gmail.com, or look for @flaglersportsswap on Facebook or Instagram.

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5

Tentative agreement over use COVID testing Herbal extraction company turnaround of Bings Landing property buys Flagler ‘spec’ building times should improve soon

van said. “But that’s OK; we’ll get through that.”

By approving the agreement, the county would avoid a potential jury trial.

The restaurant had sued the county for breach of contract after the commission in November 2018 voted 3-2 to approve — then two weeks later, after a new commissioner was seated, decided to cancel — a new lease that would have allowed the restaurant to build a larger building at a different location within the park.

The proposal for a new building had developed after county staff found structural problems with the existing county-owned building. The county had a contractual obligation to maintain the building for the restaurant’s use, and judged the problems too costly to repair.

Captain’s was not interested in constructing a new building in the exact same location because that would have meant closing the restaurant and losing revenue during the construction process.

But the new restaurant building Captain’s proposed engendered protest from locals who said the structure would overwhelm the park, and that the restaurant had been paying far too little to lease the property. When the county reversed its vote on the lease, it proposed keeping Captain’s in its existing building, as the protesters had wanted, and completing repairs.

The arrangement produced by mediation and presented to the County Commission at its May 18 meeting would do that, but also includes a commitment from the county to relocate and modify the building’s bathrooms, enclose its exterior patio, install removable windows and allow the restaurant

“This benefits the longevity of this building in the county’s interest, but also in the interest of the tenant, Captain’s BBQ.”

AL HADEED, Flagler County attorney

Vidya Herbs Inc. has committed to bringing 80-100 jobs with an average wage of $42,000 per year.

JONATHAN SIMMONS

BRIAN MCMILLAN

NEWS EDITOR

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

File photo by Paige Wilson

Captain’s BBQ at Bings Landing.

to add propane gas tanks, County Attorney Al Hadeed said during the meeting.

“This benefits the longevity of this building in the county’s interest, but also in the interest of the tenant, Captain’s BBQ,” Hadeed said.

The county would also reimburse Captain’s BBQ for up to $50,000 for money the restaurant spent, with verified invoices, on architectural design and engineering for the proposed new building that it will not be able to construct.

Renovations of the existing building would be conducted during non-business hours as much as possible, but the restaurant would also close for two weeks for the construction process, Hadeed said.

Captain’s would be permitted to book the park’s pavilion to cater special events there, using the county’s online booking system just like any other entity, Hadeed said.

Captain’s would agree to consider the November 2018 lease null and void and not to make a claim for lost profits from the two-week closure.

Going forward, Captain’s would pay the initial $2,000 for any exterior structural repairs in the existing building, and the county would cover the rest.

The proposed new lease contains the same renewal terms as the November 2018 lease, but adds built-in increases to gradually bring it up to market rate.

The county would also begin to meter Captain’s BBQ’s water use separately from the rest of the park, Hadeed said.

Under the proposed agreement, if the building were ever damaged beyond 50% of its value, the county could opt not to repair it, Hadeed said. Captain’s would have the option to build a new building on the same site.

Two-week turnaround times for results of COVID-19 tests have frustrated many Flagler County residents, but anyone getting after Monday, May 18, should only have to wait four days, as Flagler County’s testing site at Daytona State College shifts from AdventHealth’s lab to Quest Diagnostics, Bob Snyder said.

Snyder, Department of HealthFlagler administrator, said on May 14 that AdventHealth’s processing lab in Texas is “overwhelmed” with tests pouring in from around the country, causing long delays.

The lab no longer even provides an estimate of when the results will be available.

Testing will be processed by a local lab, Diagnostic Solutions, on Monday, May 18; and Quest will take over on Tuesday, May 19, with a four-day turnaround, Snyder said.

The DSC site still takes appointments for testing, which is available for any resident showing any symptom of COVID-19: cough, fever, chills, shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, muscle pain, sore throat, new loss of taste or smell. Call 313-4200. Or, contact your primary care physician.

Herbal extraction company Vidya Herbs has purchased a 20,000-square-foot Flagler County “spec” building on Otis Stone Hunter Road in Bunnell for $2.65 million and committed to bringing 80-100 jobs with an average annual wage of $42,000, according to the county government.

Construction of the building was commissioned by the county government in 2017 to attract businesses to Flagler County. The county committed to providing $90,000 in tax breaks over 10 years to developer Beutlich Development for the construction, and Beutlich bought the parcel and built the structure.

The Flagler County Department of Economic Opportunity

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MAY 2020

County beauty queen, a national surfing champion, the founder of the MayDay Memorial Surf Classic that in 2020 raised a record $10,000 to benefit the Halifax Health Foundation. According to one friend, Carla Cline, Watson has become a “pillar of the community.”

Watson didn’t feel that way on that night in 2019.

The hospital was ghostly silent.

She was all alone, without any bags, and a woman at the desk asked her, “Is it time?”

Watson said, “Yeah,” and she burst into tears.

Her journey to become a mom was beginning — right now.

As for many first-time mothers, the journey would be full of surprises, including a bout with the baby blues. She shared her story with the Palm Coast Observer in hopes that other new mothers would feel less alone — and get the help they need.

A new life

DELIVERY AT HALIFAX

Mason, Haley and Nic Stephens

Courtesy photo

I

t was about 4 a.m., and Haley Watson was walking up to the emergency entrance at Halifax Health to have her first baby, when her water broke.

“It was like in the movies — whoosh!” she recalled. “It was like a waterfall.”

Her fiance was parking their car, so, with soaked shoes, she walked up to the desk by herself.

It was a humbling moment for Watson, a former Miss Flagler

Flagler Beach’s Haley Watson Stephens is a national surfing champ, a beauty queen, and now, as a new mom, she’s sharing her story about overcoming the baby blues.

BRIAN MCMILLAN EXECUTIVE EDITOR

It was surreal to walk into Halifax Health that night because this was where her own mother, Dollie Sue Watson, had worked as a nurse until dying of heart disease in 2006. She was 48 years old; Haley was 14 at the time.

Now, Watson was about to become a mother herself — without her own mother by her side.

In the delivery room, her fiance, Nic, joined her, as did Nic’s mother and one of Haley Watson’s closest friends and mentors, Colleen Conklin, who is also a Flagler Beach resident.

Watson also found some comfort in knowing that her doctor, Pam Carbiener, had worked together with Dollie Sue in their time at Halifax Health. Carbiener

MAYDAY: $10,000 FOR HEALTHY HEARTS Although it had to happen through virtual donations with no actual surfing, the 10th-annual MayDay Memorial Surf Classic, organized

by Haley Watson Stephens in honor of her mother, Dollie Sue Watson, raised a record $10,000 this year, bringing the total to $28,350. Proceeds are delivered each year to the Halifax Health Foundation to benefit the Center for Cardiology. Dollie Sue Watson died in December 2006, at age 48, of heart disease.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in both men and women, according to the Mayo Clinic, and “women are more likely than men to have heart attack symptoms unrelated to chest pain, such as: Neck, jaw, shoulder, upper back or abdominal discomfort; shortness of breath; pain in one or both arms; nausea or vomiting; sweating; lightheadedness or dizziness; unusual fatigue; and indigestion.”

The Mayo Clinic reports: “Women tend to have symp-

toms more often when resting, or even when asleep, than they do in men. Emotional stress can play a role in triggering heart attack symptoms in women.

“Because women don’t always recognize their symptoms as those of a heart attack, they tend to show up in emergency rooms after heart damage has occurred. Also, because their symptoms often differ from men’s, women might be diagnosed less often with heart disease than men are.

“If you have symptoms of a heart attack or think you’re having one, call for emergency medical help immediately.

Don’t drive yourself to the emergency room unless you have no other options.”

In 2011, Haley Watson started the MayDay event, and it has become an anticipated event every year, according to Flagler Beach resident Carla Cline, who particularly enjoys the moms-only division.

Excercise and healthy eating are among the ways to reduce the risk of heart disease for women, the Mayo Clinic says.

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was also Conklin’s doctor when Conklin’s sons were born at Halifax.

“Fate brought us together,” Watson recalled. “I feel like my mom sends little signs once in a while that everything’s going to be OK.” During the delivery, surrounded by nurses, Watson pushed until Carbiener announced that the baby boy had been born. On her chest, the new mom was introduced to Mason, who weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces.

“He looked absolutely perfect,” Watson recalled. “He had big, chubby cheeks. … The amount of joy — they always tell you it’ll change your life, but you don’t understand the magnitude of that statement until it actually happens.”

OVERWHELMED AND ALONE

Watson was used to being busy.

But back home in Flagler Beach, she had a whole new routine to figure out as a stay-at-home mom.

Her husband worked long hours as captain of a charter fishing boat, the Sea Spirit, and she was grateful that he was such a hard worker and providing for their family. But Watson was lonely.

She thought about her mother a lot.

“If they were close with their moms, any girl would want their help as they transition into becoming a new mom themselves,” Watson recalled. “My mom was my best friend.”

In addition to being a confidante, Dolly Sue was also a nurse, so Watson wished she could be around for medical advice also.

Breastfeeding seemed so sim-

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ple in the hospital, but now it was a mystery. Was Mason getting too much milk? Too little? As soon as she set him down, Mason would cry, and he would often spit up.

Why was he crying?

It became clear that Mason had colic. He wouldn’t sleep unless he was held upright in Watson’s arms. Mostly, he took 30-minute naps, which meant she couldn’t take naps herself.

One day she and Mason went to a park. Mason hated the car seat and wouldn’t stop crying on the drive. After unloading what felt like her whole house from her vehicle, she prepared to feed him. She had pumped milk for the occasion and kept it cold with ice packs, and she also brought a Yeti bottle of hot water to warm up the milk. When she finally poured it into his bottle at the park, she spilled it.

She gave up. She went home.

Sleep deprivation worked on her. Watson yearned for an extra set of hands. She felt overwhelmed. The hours were like weeks, with no break and no hope for relief — and she was used to giving help, not asking for help.

She felt herself grieving for her mother in a raw way. Sometimes, she felt angry and deprived.

Why aren’t you here? she thought. Why does everyone else have their moms, and I don’t?

ACCEPTING HELP

When she finally decided to cry for help, in June 2019, she turned to the woman who had hired her as a babysitter at age 15, who had traveled to surfing competitions with her, who had been the first person she called when she found out she was pregnant: Colleen

Conklin.

“To this day, I look at her as an extension of our family, like an adopted daughter,” Conklin told the Palm Coast Observer.

Watson tried to describe how she felt. On one hand, she knew she had everything to make her happy in life: a healthy baby boy, a loving and hard-working husband, food on the table. On the other hand, she felt that she was giving every ounce of energy and attention to Mason, and nothing seemed to be enough.

Conklin gave her some advice that has helped her ever since: “It takes strength to be vulnerable. I know you want to be out there saving the world, but you can’t do that if you don’t take care of yourself first.”

According to the American Pregnancy Association, 70%80% of new moms feel sadness and mood swings — baby blues — for a couple of weeks after giving birth. If the symptoms extend past 14 days, the APA recommends talking with a physician.

For Watson, the feelings had lasted for five months.

Conklin made an appointment and picked up Watson and Mason, and they all went to visit Dr. Carbiener.

While Conklin held Mason in the hallway, Carbiener and Watson talked about possible medication options, and Watson didn’t feel that was right for her. They also talked about keeping a journal, and Watson decided to write about her thoughts and emotions frequently, to give herself an outlet.

“That helped me a lot,” Watson recalled. “I learned how to, instead of fight the chaos, embrace it.”

EMBRACING THE CHAOS

She started looking at Mason differently. He seemed to be able to go with the flow. He wasn’t bothered by the chaotic things that bothered Watson as a mother, of course.

“Your baby’s going to cry,” she remembers realizing at the time.

“He can’t tell you, ‘I had way too much milk, so my tummy hurts.’”

She began to develop a new set of expectations.

“There’s dirty dishes in the sink,” she said. “They’re not going to go anywhere. It’s OK if you don’t do them for a day. … As soon as I quit fighting it, I saw a night-and-day difference in my outlook.”

Watson felt comfort in knowing that it wasn’t unusual to have baby blues. She also knew that some women have it much worse and are diagnosed with postpartum depression — she never was.

“My doctor explained to me that your hormones have a lot to do with your thoughts and your feelings,” she said. “I had read about baby blues prior to giving birth, and I thought, ‘That’s really sad. That sounds really hard, and it’s really terrible.’ And I never thought that would happen to me.”

She decided to open up about her experience, in the hope that other new mothers will realize they aren’t alone, either. It’s OK to ask for help.

“It was really humbling, and I would like to see it talked about more — to normalize the conversation about baby blues,” Watson said.

As Mason got a little older, the colic went away. He learned to crawl. Meanwhile, the charter

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fishing season slowed down, so Nic was home more. Haley Watson became Haley Stephens on April 2, when the two got married in a small ceremony (most of their plans had to be canceled due to the pandemic).

Haley Stephens now makes time to surf on a weekly basis.

When she only had herself to worry about, she would plan out her surfing so that she made the most of the tides, the waves, the winds. Now she surfs whenever Nic’s parents can watch Mason for an hour.

“I used to feel guilty for leaving Mason,” she said in a May 2020 interview with the Palm Coast Observer. “Now I know I have to take a break. I’m going to make myself take a break.”

Just as surfing saved her life after her mother died, it is now the way she reminds herself who she is, beyond being Mason’s mother.

“Surfing has saved my life multiple times now,” she said. “When I was a teenager, I used surfing as a way to leave my problems on land.

In my opinion, Mother Nature is the best cure for anything.”

She feels the warm sand between her toes, the sun on her face. She paddles out, feeling the saltwater passing through her fingers.

“And then the sound of the waves, and when you’re paddling out and you’re still dry, and you duck dive under that first wave, that feeling of being refreshed,” she said. “That feeling when you do a turn or a maneuver on the wave.”

She twists on the board, spraying the sky.

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Palm 32164 Only one real estate brand holdsCoast, the keys Florida, to your most exceptional home and life.

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John Lucas, REALTOR®

John Lucas, REALTOR®

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4440 North Ocean Shore Blvd. Suite 110, Palm Coast FL. 32137

4440 North Ocean Shore Blvd. Suite 110, Palm Coast FL. 32137

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