The Loom 2016

Loom T¡ H ¡E

The Lilian and Benjamin Hertzberg Palliative Care Institute Creative Arts Journal by patients, families, caregivers, and staff.

FALL 2016

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Halli Rosin . . . . . . . Front cover-2

Mary J. Gebre Yohannes . . . . 35-36

Ariane Medero . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.

Janiah Gutierrez . . . . . . . . 37-38

Halli Rosin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Terry Ebron . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

Mary J. Gebre Yohannes . . . . . .7-8

Hannah Serrano . . . . . . . . . . 40

Akiyah Brothers-Mohammed . . 9-10

Debbie Levenstein . . . . . . . 41-42

Debbie Levenstein . . . . . . . . 11-12

Terri Hertz-Rosin . . . . . . . . 41-42

Kyla Foster . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Halli Rosin . . . . . . . . . . . . 41-42

Kenny and Sidd Foster . . . . . . . 14 .

Eric Rosin . . . . . . . . . . . . 41-42

Terri Hertz-Rosin . . . . . . . . . . 15

Halli Rosin . . . . . . . . . . . 43-44

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Dominick Jimenez . . . . . . . . . 45

Samavia Hussain . . . . . . . . . . 17

JD Elder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

Rumasa Hussain . . . . . . . . . . 18

Angel Lebron . . . . . . . . . . .

Minerva “Minnie� Santivanez . 19-20

Hailey Serrano . . . . . . . . . . . 48

Sarah Yazdian Rubin . . . . . . . . 21

Charlie Kry . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

Todd Rubin . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

JD Elder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Steve Glass . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

Markus Alvarado . . . . . . . . . . 50

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Samavia Hussain . . . . . . . . . . 50

Ariane Medero . . . . . . . . . . . 25

Jackie Mohan . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

Debbie Levenstein . . . . . . . . . 26

Anonymous . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

Carmen M. Dominguez Arias . . . 26

Anonymous . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Chelsea Gooding-Desilva . . . . . 27

JD Elder . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Charlie Kry . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Terri Hertz-Rosin . . . . . . . . . . 54

Rusama Hussain . . . . . . . . 29-30

Susie Cushner . . . . . . . . . 55-56

Charlie Kry . . . . . . . . . . . . 31-32

Kyla Foster . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

Iris Vega . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

Debbie Levenstein . . . . Back cover

Halli Rosin . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sarah Yazdian Rubin . . . . . . .

Susie Cushner . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Chloe Watson . . . . . . . . . . . 34

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Loom T·H ·E

STA FF

Sarah Yazdian Rubin, LCAT, ATR-BC, CCLS Editor in Chief Diane Rode, LCAT, ATR-BC, CCLS Executive Editor Halli Rosin Guest Family Editor, Design and Production Maureen Leahy, RN, BSN, MHA, CHPN Contributing Editor Rabbi Edith Meyerson, DMin, BCC Contributing Editor R. Sean Morrison, MD Director, Hertzberg Palliative Care Institute

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Ariane Medero

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Introduction

John Gardner wrote “Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” I would add that death and grief is as well.

Giving expression to our lives has always been through the marriage of our creativity and our cognition. As a young nurse, I had the opportunity to work at a camp for children who had experienced loss. I remember vividly one of the bereavement counselors speaking to a small boy about the death of his mommy. The little one was silent as he was asked how he felt, what he was thinking, what he needed. I watched the therapist gently put a crayon in his hand, and open a large blank paper in front of him. This small boy began to draw a picture of a house and a yard. The house was colored black with tiny windows, and the yard was filled with barren trees, and brown grass. It was at that moment that I truly understood the absolute power of art as a tool for communication in grief and loss and life and death. It informed my life as a nurse, and set a stage for me to grow in my compassion and understanding of the intimacy and poignancy of creativity. Out of the wellspring of our hearts we speak in ways that only sometimes use words…

The World Health Organization has defined Palliative Care as an approach that improves the quality of life of patients and their families facing the problem associated with life-threatening illness, through the prevention and relief of suffering by means of early identification and impeccable assessment and treatment of pain and other problems, physical, psychosocial and spiritual.

Defined and wordy, we can miss the true meaning of what a palliative approach to care might look like. It is finally and spectacularly opening the door to patient directed care instead of disease directed care. And the unit of care is the patient and the family whatever the patient defines their family to be. As we explore the dimensions of what makes us complete, we recognize quickly that we are more than just the physical. We are social, and emotional, spiritual, intellectual… and to only look at the physical is to short change people.

Art and its various forms are tools that allow us to reframe our experiences. It is a blessing. You will see among these pages some of the most poignant and meaningful examples of people. You will see grief, and loss, and death certainly. But above all that you will see life. You will see birth. You will see hope.

Maureen Leahy

Maureen Leahy, Associate Director of Nursing, Palliative Care

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Halli Rosin

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Letter from Guest Family Editor “The world is better because, for a brief space, they lived in it.”

No other quote could describe my brother, Matthew Rosin, more accurately. Matthew was 19 when he passed away at Mount Sinai Hospital after a traumatic brain injury caused by a reckless bicycle rider. In those 5 painful months, my family and I were at his bedside every day hoping he would become conscious once again, but sadly, that never happened.

I spent 3 weeks in the palliative care unit sleeping on fold-up chairs with my mom next to my brother. Using art therapy, I was able to work through a lot of my emotions and release some of what I was feeling. Creating dream catchers specifically had an impact.

Creating them at his bedside allowed me to bond with him, and I would imagine that they were catching all of his bad dreams while he was “sleeping.” I feel that a piece of him is in each of those dream catchers.

My time on the palliative care unit has changed my life in more ways than one. I was able to capture some of the darkest days of my life in tangible pieces and I was also able to witness the work of some of the most gentle and caring hospital staff.

They managed to retain my brother’s humanity while caring for him and made us as comfortable as possible in the worst situation.

Art is powerful—it can speak to people without words, and leave the observer feeling some of the artist’s feelings. In this publication, you will feel sadness, grief, and exhaustion felt by its contributors. But you will also be overwhelmed by the love, passion, and most importantly, life that fills these pages.

Whether our loved ones are cured, healed, ill or gone, their lives are celebrated and preserved in these works of art. And perhaps, by getting a taste of each experience, we can understand why the world is a better place because they lived in it.

Halli Rosin

Halli Rosin, Guest Family Editor

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Mary J. Gebre Yohannes

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Akiyah Brothers-Mohammed

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Akiyah Brothers-Mohammed

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Debbie Levenstein

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Debbie Levenstein

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Kyla Foster

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Joy and Pain April 10, 2016

Thank You.. ..For allowing me to see you at birth and at death ..For nearly three decades of life, love, and laughter that will last ..For a Baby Girl that became a Woman beyond your years ..For being someone for whom I shed my tears ..For choosing me to be your Dad, for such a love that hurts, makes me sad and glad ..For letting me give you food and water, for allowing me to do what I ought to ..For a look, a smile, a frown, for a spirit that never stayed down ...For so many memories and lessons, each of them blessings ----- Dad  

Kenny and Sidd Foster

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Terri Hertz-Rosin

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Halli Rosin

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Samavia Hussain

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Rumasa Hussain

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Minerva “Minnie� Santivanez

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Sarah Yazdian Rubin

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Be There Be there at first to be Because thirst and hunger fuel the best Be there to hear, see, breathe, and touch What truths bestowed in marveled eyes To hear, see, breathe, and touch the many things that hide our fear To be there if not a shoulder To catch naught but a tear Be there for the first woo, wail, word That speaks to those not through words but through the woven word that mends us all To be there means more than body That no clock can speak the time When you show be sure to stand For the human soul no fools the mime Be there for the worst When all others have let their sighs as silence pierces diamond as untruths seep the wounds we draw We cut to heal, with reason ahead and at times behind And hope that time will heal the woes and errs that wake to see tomorrow’s dew At last be there to learn Be here, not there Be here and there Place trust in what was seen before And harvest the pearls near the water’s edge Guide passion to teach the next And all the while be there to hear, see, breathe, and touch it all

Todd Rubin

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Steve Glass

Steve Glass

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Sarah Yazdian Rubin

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Spirit of Legacy I am a compassionate presence my branches bloom my branches weep they are a sign of things to come they offer support and remind me of the hope of being, towards understanding the beauty of preserving life and letting it go My foundation offers safe containment to ground my roots into layered soil It is made of years of painted strokes, intentions, and attempts to carve my way towards discovering a deeper relationship with myself my roots are receiving my body is attaining my inner-self is unveiling seeds of wisdom are resting at my feet I am my life experience I am who I was she is resting deep inside I am connected to who I am she is my reflection and I am expectant to meet who I will become as I harness the power of legacy, to rekindle my inner-truth that is interwoven into my spirit tree.

Ariane Medero

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Debbie Levenstein

Carmen M. Dominguez Arias

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Chelsea Gooding-Desilva

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Charlie Kry

Charlie Kry

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Rusama Hussain

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Charlie Kry

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Charlie Kry

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Iris Vega

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Hi, My name is Chloe My last name is Watson I have a sick grandma That may leave soon But it will be okay Because i will get through life Shes 83 years old She says she has 2 birthdays But we all know she really doesn’t But if she did she would be 84 years old About to leave to go somewhere safer That’s called Heaven She will be with God and the other folks that left My name is Chloe And I have a grandma That’s about to leave To go to Heaven.

Susie Cushner

Chloe Watson

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Mary J. Gebre Yohannes

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Mary J. Gebre Yohannes

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Mary J. Gebre Yohannes

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Janiah Gutierrez

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Terry Ebron

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Hannah Serrano

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Debbie Levenstein, Terri Hertz-Rosin, Halli Rosin, Eric Rosin

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Halli Rosin

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To my dear team, Everyone here has been wonderful to me.... Everyone involved in my care and all the friends I’ve picked up in here. You don’t find people like this anywhere.

There’s not much to say. It’s short, brief and sweet.

I’m gonna say what I have to say quickly and lovely, I want to thank you and I’m going to miss you.

It’s not a goodbye. We will see each other again. I hope to be with you soon. And if not, God has a nice, big place for us that we can all hang out in.

Not much else to say except, Dominick Jimenez loves you and thanks you for everything.

I guess I’ll start to get ready. I hate to rush people out of my life. I’ve got to get ready to go to a new life, you could say.

I’m looking forward to change, new friends, and for pain out of my system.

With Love, Dominick Jimenez

Dominick Jimenez

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JD Elder

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Angel Lebron

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Hailey Serrano

Charlie Kry

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Substance NOT enough substance monkey minds Fools endeavor to find diamonds in the dung heap.

Can you really know your own worth by looking at the face of another?

Souls and angels are embodied; by ignorance or by choice they can be wasted or shared.

Have compassion on those who have forgotten their mind/hearts.

They are like robots lost in habit that has been created by unquestioned beliefs, causes and conditions.

For happiness is not found in the body; Nor in things bought and sold.

Happiness is found in the heart and in the quality of ethical character, in the depth of cultivated relationships....For in the end when we breathe our last breath What will matter most?

Our loved ones or the time invested in “stuff� we have unquestioningly over-valued?

JD Elder

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Markus Alvarado

Samavia Hussain

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Jackie Mohan

Anonymous

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Anonymous

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The Nature of Roads You may find As you walk along The road together That your need to go left Is as great as their need to go right.

Does anyone owe anyone forever?

Should we fight, kick and scream when our idea of “together forever” is confused with “not what I expected”?

Is it not kinder to accept reality—on its terms?

If love is really love, then the choice to love and let go may be harder, but deeper, more honest, more poignant, than to say one “really” loved and then twist that love into anger or worse because we didn’t get “our way” -We get what we get.

Does life or love owe us more?

JD Elder

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Terri Hertz-Rosin

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Gratitude from a Chaplain Intern “A unit of measurement is a definite magnitude of quantity...

The definition, and practical use of units (of measurement) have played a crucial role in human endeavor from early ages up to this day.� - Wikipedia The Palliative Care Unit, Not less than a remarkable unit in my life.

Unimagined Life altering Affirming.

Powerful for the space it holds for vulnerable And resilient beings who arrive only briefly and change nothing less than everything.

No day is unexceptional A gamut of deep emotion as vast as the sea Culture and rituals as ancient as the world itself.

Unbeknownst to Frederick Law Oldstead His creation is a clear and constant view

Susie Cushner

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Impermanence Exquisitness The natural order of life force.

Against indelible sounds Of 5th Avenue’s Sirens Horns And humanity.

An unremitting unit Comprised of rare human hearts Create conditions Set the tone Infuse compassion, care and reassurance.

The magnitude of this Unit Has played a crucial part In my endeavor.

You have gifted my life With wisdom that informs and Frames my understanding And knowing.

I am humbled And privileged.

You are my teachers.

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Kyla Foster

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Support for the Child Life and Creative Arts Therapy Program at The Hertzberg Palliative Care Institute is provided through the generous donations ofJoseph Hertzberg as well as Margaret and John Ruttenberg in memory of Marilyn E. Baker.

For more information and to inquire about submissions to The Loom please contact: sarah.yazdian@mountsinai.org

To all those who contributed, thank you.

Thank you for your courage to create art during trying times.

Thank you for sharing your story with others.

Thank you for making The Loom a home where memory can live.

With deep gratitude and love, Sarah

To view the issue and past issues of The Loom online, please visit The Creative Arts Therapy and Child Life Program page: mountsinai.org/patient-care/service-areas/palliative-care/ creative-arts-and-music-therapy-program

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