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Justina Crabtree & Robin Marshall - indigo@palatinate.org.uk

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INDIGO 3 STAGE

We debate the pros and cons of musical theatre

4 & 5 MUSIC

Our annual round-up of the best albums

6 V I SUAL ARTS

Ex-Durham art exhibition

7 F EATURES

An interview with a Durham institution: the elusive bouncer ‘Cruncher’

8 & 9 FASHION

Our annual Christmas fashion shoot

1 0 & 1 1 FILM & TV

Our annual review of Christmas-y films

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A selection of festivities you might find abroad

1 3 BOOKS

Some interesting book adaptations hitting the big screens

1 4 & 15 TRAVEL

A comparison of slopes from across the globe, and a southeast Asian roadtrip Cover photograph by Benedict Campbell For more arts and lifestyle articles please visit www.palatinate.org.uk

ʼTis the season to be jolly, so come all ye faithful and behold this festive edition of Indigo!

Itʼs December (and more importantly, nearly the end of term), which is more than enough excuse to deck the halls and don your reindeer jumpers. Whilst you may be a mere 5 treats into your advent calendar and wondering what the fuss is all about, we defy you all to not let a dopey grin spread across your faces at the sight of Durhamʼs Christmas lights, mistletoe and The Muppet Christmas Carol. Yet as we all know, this time of year can come hand in hand with unwanted worry, not least considering the summatives that will inevitably need to be written – without the help of Father Christmasʼs elves. On top of this, you may well find yourself wondering if a personalised penguin mug is a suitable gift for your housemate. Disconcerting to say the least.

Here at Indigo, weʼve undergone our preparations early in eager anticipation of the yuletide revelry to come. It would appear that Christmas shopping is on the minds of our diligent Music and Film editors, as they list the yearʼs most memorable albums and favourite festive films respectively. Gift advice if we ever saw it. Meanwhile, more concerned with wrapping up of another kind, Indigoʼs seasonal Fashion shoot focusses on party wear – with an entirely considerate helping of faux fur and bobble hats. As we all know, goosebumps will never be the new black. Bored of the usual roast turkey, our Food section investigates Christmas celebrations abroad, where mulled wine and mince pies arenʼt necessarily a pre-requisite. And for those looking to add spice of a different kind to their traditional carol singing repertoire, turn to Indigoʼs stage section as the merits of musicals are debated.

But just before you slurp on your eggnog, we wanted to say a final farewell – this is the last issue of Indigo weʼll be editing for you. After a year at the helm, we can assuredly say that weʼve truly enjoyed the (sleigh) ride.

Happy holidays to all!

JC & RM

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INDIGO EDITORS Justina Crabtree Robin Marshall BOOKS EDITOR Kate Wilkinson FASHION EDITORS Isobel Buckingham Katie Shuff FEATURES EDITOR Rohan Banerjee Francesca Jaworska (deputy) FILM & TV EDITOR Aalok Vora FOOD & DRINK EDITOR Diana Grant-Davie MUSIC EDITORS Larry Bartleet Sophia Smith Galer Jack Collins (deputy) STAGE EDITOR Emma Dawson TRAVEL EDITOR Philip Whitehead VISUAL ARTS EDITOR Lucy Edwardes Jones

WRITERS Rohan Banerjee Larry Bartleet Jack Collins Briony Conway Emma Dawson Kata Debrei Suki Ferris Will Firth Jordan Harries Dinuka Hettiaratchy Adam Hughes Rosie Kyrke Smith Roy Manuell Katya Sikuade Sophia Smith Galer Oliver Stephenson Laura Ryan Beth Tulley Aalok Vora Josh Williams

PHOTOGRAPHY / ILLUSTRATION David Blackwell / Benedict Campbell / Jamie Dorobek / Rene Schwietzke / Josh Williams / James Crosland-Mills / Charlotte Gurr / Harriet Peel / Harriet-Jade Harrow / Madeleine Brown

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Emma Dawson - stage@palatinate.org.uk

STA G E

musicals: yay or nay?

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The traditonal alternative to the Christmas pantomine is a good ol’ musical.

Indigo hears from two writers who have differing opinons on the subject I love musicals by Adam Hughes

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adore musicals. From the artistic grandeur of Sondheim to the toe-tapping spectacle of Lloyd Webber, for me musicals represent the epitome of theatrical entertainment. Where else but in a musical could you find characters singing about love, death or Mormonism? For many, musicals seem to hold a collection of camp clichés interspersed with spontaneous outbursts of song. Naturally, this is true of certain shows (Grease springs to mind) but what’s so bad about that? Embrace the camp!

What many don’t realise, however, is the huge diversity present in the world of musicals: thrillers, comedies, tragedies, and jukeboxes are but a few examples of the many genres out there. For every theatrical genre, there is a musical. If you want to see a troupe of Mormons tap dancing, you can. If you want to see a disfigured impresario attempt to seduce an ingénue, you can. Or if you want to kick back and share your evening with a collection of foulmouthed puppets, again you can. There is such a wide selection of shows to entertain, delight or move that I defy anyone not to find a show for them.

Yes, there are many productions that peddle the classic escapism that has become inextricably linked with the art form. I can understand why those that don’t embrace the genre find outbursts of song unusual, since “people don’t do that” in real life. Of course, people don’t burst out into song as they walk down the street, or as they saunter into Tesco, but imagine a world where they did. Imagine a world where strangers in the street join a rousing chorus as you leave your house, a world where lecturers convey their theories through a jazzy tap routine; it would be superb.

Musicals are at their best, I feel, when the dramatic action justifies the singing. Stephen Sondheim describes his use of song “as a character’s last resort,” which makes perfect sense to me; when a character is experiencing emotion so large – whether it is joy or sorrow – only song can convey the emotion. Simple words will not be enough. This is the wonder of the genre; music is such an expressive vehicle for conveying emotion.

Whether you adore or abhor musicals, I urge you to see as many as possible. Every person should be able to find a production that will delight and amuse.

I hate musicals by Katya Sikuade I don’t hate musicals. I have simply hated every musical I have ever seen. Don’t think I’m inexperienced, I’ve seen them all: Les Mis, Wicked, Oliver West Side Story. Since turning eighteen, I’ve had a glass of something cheering and alcoholic with every show I’ve seen. I have begun every musical in the highest spirits, wine in hand, eager for a laugh and a cry, my nearest and dearest around me. And every time, I’m let down.

Being, I like to think, reasonably imaginative, I have never resisted the transportation of the mind that theatre offers. I have gone to Narnia without seasickness, I’ve been back 400 years to shudder at the horror of Macbeth, and for the first five minutes

of any musical, I find myself, happily, somewhere else entirely. But when I’m taken to the workhouse, the last thing I expect, about as inappropriate and absurd as a Star Wars ringtone in the theatre, is for timid-voiced, asthmatic little children to start singing. Singing! One minute I’m lost in the action, convinced. Oliver is starved, stuttering; I want to run up on the stage and carry him away myself! And then all of sudden, like being slapped across the face mid-daydream, he’s got the voice of a trained soprano. On closer inspection, he’s really rather chubby. What can I do? It simply ceases to be believable. In real life, people don’t just burst into song. At least, not the kind of people I have any inclination to spend forty pounds and three hours of my life

with.

But still I find myself returning, birthday treat after disappointing birthday treat. I can’t help it; I’m an optimist. I love the theatre; it takes me somewhere else, back to the bedtime stories of my contented childhood.

I don’t know if it’s music and theatre, or musicals and me. But some things just don’t mix well. And it took writing this down for me to realise that, no matter how optimistic and hopeful I am at the start of every musical, I am never more elated than at the end.

Illustration by Charlotte Gurr

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Larry Bartleet & Sophia Smith Galer (dept. Jack Collins) - music@palatinate.org.uk

MUSIC

albums of the year 2013

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t’s album-list month once again and we’ve asked our contributors for a few words on their favourite albums of the year. Here is our (by no means definitive) list of records to ask Santa for. Merry listening, folks!

Disclosure - Settle Bashing out thrills like a chavvy Daft Punk, the Lawrence Brothers have pieced together arguably the smash hit British album of the year. Aided by a meaty collection of rising British pop acts, they take a catchy refrain and then stick a donk on it; a beautifully layered, teasing donk. With “When A Fire Starts to Burn”, this album starts to dazzle. From then on, it’s a constant stream of chilled out party stormers. They might not have much to say, but who cares? This is House Music, granddad. And if you thought they’d hit the dizzying heights with “White Noise”, just you wait for “Help Me Lose My Mind”.

Oliver Stephenson

Laura Marling - Once I Was An Eagle Marling’s fourth effort is a startlingly ambitious record, with as credible a narrative arc as you’ll find from a singer-songwriter. Shirking her reputation for privacy, here she is disarmingly honest, recounting tales of a failed relationship and the kindling of a new one. It’s a story that virtually demands to be listened to in one go, from the sixteen-minute opening suite to the defiant closer ‘Saved These Words’.

Listeners are used to Marling’s lyrical panache, but new to her work is the clear flow of instrumentation between groups of songs, clarifying the album’s intricate structure. One question remains: what’s next?

Larry Bartleet Kanye West - Yeezus Kanye continued to polarise opinion with his sixth studio album, Yeezus. What those who criticised it failed to realise, however, was that Yeezus was the most forward-thinking and progressive album that’s been released into the mainstream this year. This is an overdosed, oversexed, excessive Kanye driven to his creative pinnacle. It’s arrogant (“I am a God”), demanding, (“hurry up with my damn croissants”) and has no respect for what was previously considered sacred (“I put my fist in her like the civil rights sign.”)

It’s uncomfortable, difficult and painful at times –

but that’s what makes it so brilliant, and undoubtedly Kanye’s greatest offering to date. Stand out track: “Blood on the Leaves” – the mixing of a TNGHT beat with Nina Simone’s famous ‘Strange Fruit’ is a musical stroke of genius.

Jack Collins

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Everything Everything - Arc Everything Everything, outside of running for most ungoogleable band, were once notable for their bipolar art-pop, stitching seemingly conflicting scraps of melody into fascinating – if mad – songs.

On Arc they’ve noticeably cooled off; their melodies have always been solid, and instead of hiding them behind one another, here they give each one the space it needs, while maintaining their characteristic complexity and polish. The unusual mix of styles and subject matter is a winning formula; when they say “I could be the dolphin of your dreams,” it’s hard disagree.

Larry Bartleet Savages - Silence Yourself The terrifying sound of Savages easily made their debut album one of the most original music releases this year. Post-punk and pensive, their songs create such a state of meditative aggression that, combined with lead singer Frenchwoman Jehnny Beth’s full, Platonic cave of a voice, propel this band to the forefront of noise rock in the UK. The orgasmic rise of “Husbands” chorus is a piece of sheer genius, and the lyrics in “City’s Full” haunt long after the song ends. Heavy yet lithe in its subject matter and compelling in the way that the guitar line often trails after the vocals like an afterthought, this album cannot be ignored.

Sophia Smith Galer

Arctic Monkeys - AM Arctic Monkeys exploded once again in 2013, reborn with the Mercury Prize-nominated AM. Arrogant, pretty, raw yet polished and a whole lot of fun, the album flirts with the greatest from every decade since Sinatra; remarkably independent and original for a record that combines so many influences. Above all, the record brought with it a mature yet shameless swagger that succeeded in transforming the Arctic Monkeys from being a band that had seemed to peak too early into a gang of soon-to-be Madison Square Gardens conquerors. Coupled with Grease-inspired haircuts and a fondness for Destiny’s Child-esque backing vocals, AM remains both sonically and lyrically one of the most interesting albums for a decade, fully deserving its place as an exemplary album of 2013, for Turner’s poetry if nothing else.

Roy Manuell

A$AP Ferg - Trap Lord When Trap Lord dropped late this summer, the world was properly introduced to the electric flow and startling versatility of another member of the now-famous A$AP Mob. The album thunders into life with “Let It Go” before moving into it’s two big singles, “Shabba” and “Lord”. As the album progresses, we see a continuous shape-shifting of Ferg’s personality, never staying in the same style for long, ever-evolving. The production is tight as ever, lean and domineering, in true trap style. Ferg tells us at the beginning that “Trap Lord season begins,” and it has done. Trap Lord sends out a huge ripple for Rocky to move over, because there’s a new A$AP don in town. Stand out track: “Murda Something” – heavy, huge production that brings out the best of both Ferg and the featured Waka Flocka Flame Jack Collins

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Larry Bartleet & Sophia Smith Galer (dept. Jack Collins) - music@palatinate.org.uk

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the alternative christmas playlist W

e’re sick of the ailing Christmas playlists wheeled out year after year; instead we’ve created our own, which should banish senseless Christmas cheer in favour of something more cerebral. Just kidding! Enjoy.

The Killers’ Xmas song this year? “Christmas in LA” Not released at the time of writing, but it’s this year’s Christmas song by The Killers (they write one annually). It is compulsory listening because, well, it’s the Killers isn’t it?

“Creep/All I want for Christmas is You” – PEACE Any sickeningly sweet child asking for world peace this Christmas is in for a surprise if they are consequently subjected to this effort made a year ago by world-renowned indie band Peace; listen closely to their rendition of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” and you’ll hear the chord progression from Radiohead’s anthem to the anti-hero “Creep” sneaking in. Sob into your Christmas stocking as you realise the person you want to share your Christmas with thinks you’re a complete nutcase.

“O Holy Night” – Bastille Remember singing “O Holy Night” in your school choir? Well, here your childhood years meet dystopia; Bastille included this in their Other People’s Heartache pt.2 mixtape and the harmonies are exquisitely

malevolent, turning that fateful starlight night into a dark and melancholic soundscape with some pleasant festive gunfire at the end.

“White Christmas” – Otis Redding You’ll be hearing plenty of dry versions of this song over the festive season, so we thought we better instruct you on one of the better covers. Bing Crosby’s 1952 original is the best-selling single of all time, but listen to the Lord of Tamla Motown as he teaches you a lesson or two on how to sing with a brass band in his excellent improvisation. To be listened to in conjunction with the next song...

“I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus” – Amy Winehouse No one does cheeky jazz like the late and great Amy. The original version came out in 1952 but Amy’s voice is about as thick and delicious as the custard on your Christmas pudding and makes the song more CURRANT than ever (geddit?). The accompaniment is pretty minimalist but that’s because you don’t need anything getting in the way of that perfect instrument.

“Reggae Reggae Christmas” - Mikey Dread Has your turkey’s stuffing got an extra herb in it?

No? Simply re-create some laid back reggae reggae vibes in the comfort of your home without the need to source out any of the green stuff by listening to

this classic number.

“Santa Claus Goes Stright to the Ghetto” – Snoop Dogg & Nate Dogg This is a funky, Isaac Hayes-sampling number refreshingly devoid of any of the gangster stereotypes associated with the two Doggs. You can’t help but groove to it as Snoop parodies all sorts of traditional Christmas anthems in a fun & light-hearted track.

“A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)” - Glasvegas This heartfelt ballad from Glasgow crooners Glasvegas has been drawing tears at yuletide since it was released in 2008. An absolutely beautiful track tinged with sadness and joy in equal measure, this is one to wet the cheeks on Christmas Eve to.

“2 Become 1” - Spice Girls This jewel crept to Christmas Number 1 in 1996.

Timeless and as heart-enchantingly unifying as a ballad can be, “2 Become 1” will always be profound and thought-provoking. We are swept across all five Spices’ faultless vocals as they oscillate, culminating in the epic Victoria Beckham (potentially Geri) line “Set your spirit free, it’s the only way to be.” As philosophical as Plato (on a bad day). Just try and listen to this without crying.

Compiled by Sophia Smith Galer, Jack Collins and Roy Manuell. Illustration by Madeleine Brown

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Lucy Edwardes Jones - visual.arts@palatinate.org.uk

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the unreality of durham

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An exhibition of drawings by James Crosland-Mills, Palatinate’s former Illustrations Editor

The Shakespeare

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o so many, Durham is known for its fairy-tale sights – yet as weʼre increasingly submerged in summatives, itʼs difficult to take the time to genuinely appreciate the minute, beautiful details of our surroundings. In his upcoming exhibition ʻThe Unreality of Durhamʼ, Palatinateʼs ex-Illustrations Editor James Crosland-Mills encourages his viewers to look more closely as he creates magical worlds based on locations around our city. Indigo catches up with James to discuss his unique fusion of ink and imagination.

What was your inspiration behind the exhibition?

Iʼve always loved old school animation, the classics that everyone eventually returns to - like the Disney films of my childhood (Jungle Book, Sword in the Stone, Robin Hood, etc.)! I also love really detailed illustrations. Iʼm fascinated by images which you can gaze at for hours on end and still find new things or secrets within them – books like Brambly Hedge and Whereʼs Wally?.

I wanted to make a little world of my own and create drawings which would appeal to both children and adults and keep them all looking for a long time.

Plus, Iʼm giving myself the opportunity to act a bit childlike and think about what I used to imagine when I went adventuring: who lives in that tree? Is there a door down that hole? All these little questions keep you engaged!

How did you first make the jump from studying science to illustrating?

Ever since I can remember I have always loved to paint or draw. However, during my GCSEs I started to become fascinated with nature documentaries and human biology. I did well in the science and maths areas at school and planned to read biology at university. I kept drawing as a hobby so that if I decided to follow a career in art, I could at least fall back on my degree if it went wrong.

How has your work developed over the past few years?

When I began illustration, I was intent on drawing

St Oswald’s Church

whatever image(s) popped into my head; it was very much a spontaneous process. This made it exciting because I felt free to put down on paper whatever I wanted, an impulse which I felt was suppressed at school during GCSE art. When I calmed down a bit, I realised that I had sacrificed quantity for quality so I focused on the details, which gave it a more structured and almost believable feel.

Are there any artists that particularly inspire you?

First and foremost, my dad. He is an artistic genius.

I still compare all my pieces to his own work, which can make things difficult!

Additionally, I have always taken a liking to Lucian Freud; I canʼt understand how he produces such vivid and striking portraits by using such strong and defined brush strokes. Up close, his paintings look like splodges of paint, but when you stand back itʼs almost as if heʼs taken a photograph.

How long does each piece take?

Iʼm not entirely sure, to be honest! Iʼve been meaning to time myself. Iʼd say that if I collated all the hours of the most recent drawing Iʼve done, then probably 20-24 hours. It doesnʼt seem that long compared to most other pieces of art, but then again you donʼt have to wait for anything to dry!

Do you have a preferred medium?

At the moment I love using ink, but if Iʼm not using my black ink pens for the exhibition then I find myself constantly drawn to water colour pencils. They create such an organic and personal look.

Iʼve toyed with the idea of adding colour to my work but keep refraining. These drawings are all about trying to get the viewer lost within the pictures and their own imagination. I feel that part of this process is them adding their own colour to the pieces – as if they are completing it – which I feel is a great source of immersion.

Whatʼs next for you after the exhibition?

Iʼm currently starting a MSc Science Communi-

cation at Imperial College London, which should allow me to combine my art and science interests.

Also, Iʼve just signed up to organise an event called ArtiFact – itʼs a collaboration between Imperial College and the Royal Academy of Art to try and encourage scientists and artists to work together and produce...well anything really!

Aside from this, Iʼm thinking about doing some illustrations for a story about birds, or digitizing a bit and possibly looking into animation more – but thatʼll be way into the future.

Do you have any advice for those looking to go into something similar?

First off – if you havenʼt already – take a year out and go travelling (independently). Youʼll learn more than anyone can teach you in a classroom and be inspired to do things you never would have thought of!

Also make sure you keep enough time outside of your degree (or whatever you are doing) to maintain your hobby. I joined Palatinate as an illustrator, which was a great way to apply my work.

Make a blog and put your work up – just get it out there online! It may take a while to get off the ground, but people will notice. Also, I think I agree with popular industry opinion that if you want to work specifically in illustration, then you have to work on your own unique style – something which I didnʼt find (or even know that I was looking for) until I was at university.

Look out for exhibitions, events, or artists who inspire you. I recently came across a blog called Rarefractive Index. Thereʼs a science illustrator called Claudia Stocker who recently posted some of her work which is really awesome. ʻThe Unreality of Durhamʼ is showing throughout December in the World Heritage Site Visitor Centre Interview by Justina Crabtree Illustrations by James Crosland-Mills

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Rohan Banerjee (dept. Francesca Jaworska) – features@palatinate.org.uk

F EAT U R E S

on the door

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Rohan Banerjee chats to a veteran bouncer

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he juggernaut eyed me up and down at the entrance. “I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink, mate.”

“Nah nah, safe, innit,” I protested feebly. But like the brick tower he guarded, Klute’s mighty gatekeeper remained unmoved.

I flailed my arms and reeled off some spiel about human rights. It was barely 1am, and while royally ratarsed, I was trying to negotiate my way into one of Durham’s premier night spots. Surprisingly, my eccentric Ali G impression didn’t do the trick, and I faced the Herculean task of walking back up The Hill, because I’d squandered my cab fare in Jimmy’s. If I ever meet Jonny Woodgate, I’ll be certain to seek some recompense.

My journey back to Collingwood was typically reflective of someone who’d been drinking too much.

Was Alastair Cook actually Asian? Did penguins have knees? What if there were no hypothetical situations?

In any case, I should definitely text my ex-girlfriend.

As my hangover asked me “what happened?” the next morning, I thought back to the nonsensica of the night before. I’d been rather rude to that bouncer, hadn’t I? They must have to put up with so much, I thought.

I wondered how many times in a night someone got brave.

“About four or five times at least,” guessed Cruncher, who by request would rather not reveal his real name.

Cruncher has worked the door at venues around the North East for the last ten years and agreed to an interview with me in Kingsgate bar.

“It’s pretty natural. Some lads or lasses have a few bevs and they fancy themselves invincible,” he explained, sipping his flat pint. “You just have to accept it as part of the night.”

“What sort of qualities do you need to be a bouncer?”

I asked.

“Patience is key. You can’t lose your cool at every little thing. And understanding – you have to put yourself in the drunk’s shoes – everyone is different when they’ve had a few. You need to be tough, but not openly aggressive. Of course you need to show authority but not in a way that invites a lad to have a go.”

“Do you lift?” I joked.

Cruncher laughed, “Yeah I go to the gym, but hon-

estly, that’s not a requirement for bouncers! It does help to look a bit intimidating, but that can be achieved just as much through how you talk and stand. Eye contact’s a big thing.”

I was intrigued. “Can you explain the process for when someone kicks off?”

“Well, if I take the example you gave me, it sounds like the guy did everything right. You have to gauge whether or not someone’s too drunk. Ask them in a nice way – after all, you’re not being unreasonable. You don’t want someone vomming on the floor or causing trouble. Then if they protest, just stand your ground. There’s no need to get physical unless someone is

physical to you.”

“Does it often get physical?”

“I wouldn’t say often, but enough for it to be a drag.

What you don’t want is assault charges or anything like that, so it’s best to avoid punches and kicks. Just getting someone to ground is the main thing. Get them to calm down or just hold them until the police turn up.

Sometimes though, needs must and you will have to land a blow.”

“What’s the worst situation you’ve had to diffuse?” I probed.

“When I was at a club in Newcastle, two lads had an argument over who was first in the queue. Before you know it, one’s got the other on the deck and they’ve knocked the whole bloody queue down like dominos, fence and all. In situations like that, I know it sounds a bit childish, but you really need to find out who started it, because you don’t want to ruin other people’s nights.

That’s bad for business.”

“Do you enjoy your work?”

Cruncher paused for a moment. Yep, the pint was definitely flat. “There’s something satisfying about the authority, but obviously when some floppy haired youth is telling me now his dad earns more than me – I don’t doubt that he does – it can be a bit of a chew on.”

“Are there any perks?”

“Sure. Front row seats for some right mint lasses coming in short skirts!”

I laughed along nervously. “How’d you get into bouncing?”

“I joined an agency when I was about your age. I used to get posted at different clubs and events – just wherever they needed staff really. Now, I just split my time between a few spots in Durham. I suppose I wanted to start bouncing because I appreciated that you do need a sober head to help control the fun, otherwise there’d be chaos. Sometimes, I feel like my job is taken for granted.”

“What are your plans for the future?”

“I’m actually in the middle of my first novel.” I smirked. Cruncher rounded off, “That’s the other thing – you really need to have a sense of humour.”

Illustration by Charlotte Gurr

Some say that all she drinks are Hatfield Ticklers. Others have heard that she bathes in the Wear each morning at dawn. All we know is that she’s the first point of call for college catastrophes and Durham dramas...

Dear Mrs Elvet, My housemates refuse to turn on the damn heating and I am freezing in our house. I can actually see my breath in the air, but every time I point this out to my friends, I am accused of being a ‘wuss’ and told that it will do me good! I could get sick! What is the point of having a democratic house when your friends are crazy?

Frozen – Aidan’s “I cannot say I have much experience of your predicament as I had the heating on full blast in my riverside apartment in Durham all year round, and it was lovely and cosy in there! However, this did lead to a few awkward occasions when a male visitor declined to leave my charming abode and return to their own freezing houses. You should consider yourself extremely lucky that unwelcome guests will never linger in your house for too long.”

Dear Mrs Elvet, I am considering proposing to my girlfriend in order to prove something to my friends from home: that there is a chemical in the air in Durham which addles students’ brains and causes them to propose to each other. How should I do it?

Scheming – Mary’s “With as little romance as possible, as your point will be somewhat proved whether your girlfriend accepts or declines your offer. In fact, it might be preferable if your girlfriend does reject you; matrimony does not seem to be quite as important to you as convincing your friends that your theory is correct.”

By Emma Dawson Illustration by Harriet-Jade Harrow

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Katie Shuff & Isobel Buckingham - fashion@palatinate.org.uk

FASHION

baby, it’s cold outside

he season of festivities is upon us once again, but fear not: this winter, you won’t have to go cold to look cool. Take inspiration from Richard Tisci’s collection for Givenchy and pair elegant slips with chunky knits, fur stoles and faux-fur coats. Guys needn’t be left out of the style steaks either: round off a sharp tailored suit with a cable knit jumper or a nonchalant beanie. Photography by Benedict Campbell.

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Katie Shuff & Isobel Buckingham - fashion@palatinate.org.uk

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Aalok Vora - film@palatinate.org.uk

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F I L M & TV

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A harmonious huddle round the tree humbles the humbug Photograph courtesy of John Lewis

merry consumeristmas I

Laura Ryan considers the appeal of Christmas advertisements

could have written a piercing, contemptuous critique of the shameful commercialisation of Christmas by the supermarkets, the department stores, and the big chains. I could have bemoaned the fact that Christmas seems to start earlier every year, with a bombardment of tinsel, trees, and toys from early October onwards, and the grossly materialistic message this sends to modern children. I could have asked what Jesus would think of the Coca-Cola-sponsored orgy of glitter, consumerism, and contrived sentimentality that his birthday has inspired.

But if anything can melt my icy cynicism and reduce me to a benign and childlike state, it’s the story of an animated bear who experiences his first, magical Christmas with the help of his good (if unlikely) friend the hare, accompanied by Lily Allen’s unusually heart-warming vocals singing Keane’s ‘Somewhere Only We Know’. I refer of course to this year’s John Lewis Christmas advert, which was produced by some of the makers of Disney’s The Lion King and reportedly cost £7m.

Other offerings this year include an Alice in Wonderland-inspired, star-studded M&S ad featuring male model David Gandy, Rosie HuntingtonWhiteley, and Helena Bonham-Carter. Morrison’s opted for an opulent buffet, with everyone’s favourite Geordie twosome being serenaded by a gingerbread man, and Boots depict a hooded but friendly teen running around town leaving gifts for everyone from the nurse who looked after his grandmother to ‘the fittest girl in Year 10’. Lovely stuff, but perhaps the most discussed Christmas

ad of 2013 is brought to us by Sainsbury’s.

Entitled Christmas in a Day and created by Oscar-winner Kevin Macdonald, director of The Last King of Scotland, it features an array of real Christmas home movies, including a man with a ‘traditional Christmas spreadsheet’ and a forces family recording a festive message for their father in Afghanistan when he coincidentally arrives home to surprise them. Cue emotional tweets firing off all over the country – #yuletears. But the real thing that has everyone talking about the Sainsbury’s ad is the fact that it’s not strictly advertising any Sainsbury’s products.

The idea seems to be to move the viewer, to make them feel good, stirred, nostalgic and even tearful Indeed much has been made of the fact that if you look very carefully and closely you’ll spot a Co-operative Christmas pudding. An advertiser’s nightmare, a huge embarrassment and an inevitable sacking, you say? One would assume so, but the supermarket doesn’t seem to care. Similarly, the John Lewis advert features no actual products that we might like to treat our loved ones to.

Rather, the idea seems to be to move the viewer, to

make them feel good, stirred, nostalgic and even tearful.

Is this the future of advertising? No products, no price-tags, no pushy sales techniques, just a nice video associated with a certain brand name which doesn’t make us want to leave the room or frantically fast-forward when it appears on our screens? Perhaps the best advertisers are doublebluffing us by addressing the gripes of many with our modern culture of materialism.

The two most successful yuletide ads of the year appear to stress that Christmas is about love, friends, family, togetherness, and – let’s not forget – Christmas dinner; it doesn’t matter if all you have under the tree is a set of radiator keys or a boring alarm clock, but can we really ‘buy’ into this? Are we not simply being tricked into forming a sentimental bond with a company or a brand at a time when our emotions are at their most exposed and we are most vulnerable and suggestible?

Nevertheless, every year the Christmas ads, particularly the iconic Coca-Cola ‘Holidays are coming’ commercials, signal to me, and to many of us, the beginning of the festive period, the most wonderful time of the year, the season to be jolly.

And this is not something we should be ashamed of. These adverts are as much a part of the run up to Christmas as carol-singers, mince pies, the Queen’s speech, advent calendars, and fake beards; they are part of a rich cultural zeitgeist, something which unites us, which makes us feel warm and safe inside, and anything that can achieve this should surely be cherished and encouraged.

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Aalok Vora - film@palatinate.org.uk

F I L M & TV

festive films

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When retreating to the sofa to ease Christmas dinner digestion, why not put on one of the following?

Will Firth - Die Hard Perhaps not everyone’s idea of the archetypal christmas film, John McTiernan’s seminal piece of action filmmaking remains, for me at least, at the top of the list for Christmas Eve viewing.

At its core, the film is a classic ‘coming home for Christmas’ story. Only with more terrorists. Haggard New York cop John McClane (the defiant Bruce Willis) arrives in Los Angeles on Christmas to find the wonderfully slimy and sinister Alan Rickman and his band of merry Germen men are holding the entirety of his wife’s office hostage.

McClane must now save his wife and her coworkers (and by extension Christmas itself), utilising ubiquitous festive staples like santa hats and packaging tape. Cue incompetent law enforcement, brilliant dialogue and incredibly indulgent German accents.

So what makes this a Christmas film, exactly?

It’s more than just its festive setting and contemporary Christmas soundtrack. Die Hard is about a man fighting for what is truly important at this time of year – his family. It’s a film about the fight against the forces that attempt to pervert or steal this joyous holiday. McClane just happens to do that fighting more literally than most.

Rosie Kyrke Smith - The Snowman It’s one of the shortest films imaginable, lasting just 26 minutes. There are also no words in it, apart from the Aled Jones’ smash hit ‘Walking in the Air’. But when you see that it’s being shown on the TV at Christmas, you can’t help but feel a little warmth inside. It’s the sensation that is The Snowman.

This 1982 Academy Award-nominated film tells

From the conventional ...

the story of a boy building a snowman who then comes to life at night. Staying quiet so that the parents aren’t awakened, the boy and the snowman let us follow them on an adventure of exploration before they go on a motorbike ride and finally take off flying through the night sky! We find them journeying to the Arctic, where they attend a snowman party and meet Father Christmas.

The film’s ending has left me close to tears in the past, but I won’t ruin it just in case there’s someone who has managed to avoid the yearly replay. I’m unashamedly looking forward to watching it myself, hopefully while wrapped up under a blanked with a glass of mulled wine. The Snowman is an affirmation that Christmas is once again upon us.

Jordan Harries - Love Actually There is no film that encapsulates the typical – and completely not-to-plan – British Christmas better than Richard Curtis’ 2003 classic, Love Actually.

It ticks all the Christmas boxes. Easy and lighthearted, with a host of British acting talent, it also gives a brilliant flavour of Christmassy experiences that all of us have experienced – last-minute department store shopping, awkward office parties, school nativities, and so on. However, the true magic of the film is in its awkward, over-polite, distinctly un-cheesy moments. No character is overplayed; the perfect irony of John (Martin Freeman)’s line ‘it’s nice to have someone I can just chat to...’ during the filming of an incredibly graphic sex scene will never fail to be funny.

The comedy of unforgettable moments like Hugh Grant’s dance through the corridors of Number 10 is balanced by moments of bitter and genuine

sadness (Emma Thompson’s character sobbing as she discovers her husband’s infidelity... I’m welling up just thinking about it).

It is the wide range of beautifully-written and easily-relatable characters, played by a stellar cast and combined with Curtis’ talent for making banal, ordinary life seem so poignant, that make Love Actually an essential of the perfect British Christmas.

Aalok Vora - In Bruges In Bruges does not exhibit many tropes normally associated with a Christmas film. It snows. That’s about it. Compounding the film’s lack of Christmas credentials, the snow is only a minor instrument in the orchestra of violence, obscenity, and absurdity that plays during the film.

Perhaps it is Ray’s uncertainty and moral ambiguity – as well as his ambivalence towards Bruges’ supposed beauty – that makes this film resonate so deeply with me during the festive period. It mirrors the tentative steps I take in approaching the holidays. Attractive and repellant, the holidays find me reveling in company and anticipation as well as grimacing in the face of the gaudy and meretricious shine of things.

Overall, it leaves me pondering, like Ray, whether I find myself in a state of hellish abandonment.

But there is a slight difference. Rather than facing my own mortality, I face the inevitable Christmas shop.

Photographs courtesy of 20th Century Fox; Channel 4; Universal; Working Title

... to the slightly alternative.

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Diana Grant-Davie - food@palatinate.org.uk

FOOD&DRINK

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christmas all over the world

Suki Ferris, Kata Debrei and Dinuka Hettiaratchy share festive eating - their way - with Indigo

O

ne of the most important parts of Christmas is food, as all the family come together to share a delicious festive feast. With so many different nationalities represented in the student population, Durham students enjoy a wide variety of seasonal celebrations. Housemates Suki Ferris, Kata Debrei, and Dinuka Hettiaratchy from St Chad’s College regale us with delicious tales from abroad.

of fondant covered with chocolate and wrapped in shiny, coloured foil, then hung on the Christmas tree as decoration.

Hungarian Celebrations Christmas is celebrated in Hungary with traditions similar to those of other Central European countries, such as Poland or Germany. We decorate the house around the beginning of December and buy the Christmas tree before noon on the 24th December, decorating it after lunch. The whole day is spent decorating the house and cooking. In the evening, families come together and everyone puts their wrapped presents under the Christmas tree. Carol singing around the tree is followed by the exchange of gifts, the evening meal, and Christmas mass at midnight: a lot of people go to church and attend the Christmas mass. On the 25th, families visit their relatives and have a special Hungarian Christmas meal with them. The starter is usually fish soup, namely fisherman’s soup, and the main course is usually some meat, such as chicken or turkey with rice. The dessert is the delicious bejgli, a pastry consisting of a roll of sweet yeast bread with a dense, rich, bittersweet filling of poppy seed. An alternative filling is a paste of minced walnuts, making it a walnut roll. Gingerbread cookies are also popular.

We also have szaloncukor, which is usually made

the cherries ourselves, accompanied by several tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. My favourite flavours are Dough-ble Whammy, Peanut-butter-me-up, the Blonde Brownie, and Moose Tracks. Once we have demolished all of that, we swiftly move onto the eggnog, which is a hot milk and cream drink with frothed eggs and sugar, and a sprinkling of nutmeg!

Of course, this can’t be consumed alone, so we also have soft cookies, covered in a thick icing sugar decorated with sprinkles.

Sri Lankan Festivities

Christmas in Maryland, USA Having just recovered from the delights of Thanksgiving a month earlier, Christmas provides the perfect opportunity to have another fabulous feast with our close friends and family! Because we usually have Turkey at Thanksgiving, most of us cook either roast beef or a large ham, covered in brown sugar and cloves, or even re-indulge in an even larger turkey! This is wrapped in bacon and filled with pork and onion stuffing, along with plenty of gravy and homemade cranberry sauce. The meat is complemented by mashed potatoes, carrots cooked in orange juice, a green bean casserole, and corn bread, but my favourite is sweet potatoes, baked and covered in melted marshmalloww. If you haven’t tried it, you should! For dessert, my family has a cherry pie, and we always make the pastry and pit

A Sri Lankan Christmas is nothing short of tropical, the sky ablaze with fantastic displays of fireworks.

From the extravagant dinner dances to the more intimate dinner parties for fifty at your neighbours’ house, the divine spread, brandy butter, and the Christmas pudding is on everyone’s mind. However, there is more than even all this to a typically Sri Lankan Christmas. For many, more than the exchange of beautifully wrapped presents waiting to be opened underneath the Christmas tree, it’s a humble meal and a day on which the entire family celebrates the birth of Christ. Most Churches hold midnight mass, which is a tradition to which most families adhere. Sri Lanka is a multi-racial, multireligious society, in which Christmas is celebrated by all in one way or another and the festivities transcend all social and religious boundaries.

Photograph by Rene Schwietzke Inset by Jamie Dorobek

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Kate Wilkinson - books@palatinate.org.uk

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BOOKS

young adult

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Briony Conway examines the latest trends in one of the most dynamic literary genres

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ince the 21st November, Oscar-winning indie and blockbuster darling Jennifer Lawrence has been back on our screens in Catching Fire, the eagerly-awaited sequel to the smash hit screen adaptation of The Hunger Games.

Since teen fiction has been finally liberated from the long shadow of Twilight, and Starbucks has begun to sell Butterbeer, there is no better time to be an unashamed fan of young adult fiction.

With that in mind, Palatinate brings you three of the titles hoping to steal Katniss’ mockingjay pin when the movie adaptations come along in 2014.

Divergent

–

Veronica

Roth

There’s a reason why 19 million results spring up on Google when you search for “Divergent is the next Hunger Games”, and it lies in the fact that both feature a tough teenage girl forced to fight for survival in a dystopian society that has been divided into strict sections. As such, Divergent has been constantly touted as the successor to Suzanne

There is no better time to be an unashamed fan of young adult fiction Collins’ Hunger Games legacy, but give Roth’s Tris a chance to be her own heroine and she raises some thought provoking questions on the nature of fear, loyalty, and free will. In a highly-warped version of the future, Chicago is made up of five factions, each one representing the main personality trait of its members: intelligence, honesty, bravery, selflessness or peacefulness. Sixteen-year-old Tris was born into Abnegation, or selflessness, but when given the opportunity to choose her future, she leaves behind her family and faction, and immediately begins to both battle for her life in a brutal initiation process, and uncover the sinister foundations beneath their artificially perfect society.

The Fault in Our Stars – John Green Green’s fourth novel made waves this year as the current en vogue weepie romance, but his tale of two teenage cancer sufferers generally manages to avoid the overly mawkish pattern so often demonstrated in novels by Nicholas Sparks like Dear John or A Walk to Remember, and is instead surprisingly funny and frank. When sixteen-year-old thyroid cancer sufferer Hazel Grace is dragged along to a teenage cancer support group, she meets

Augustus Waters. Whilst they attempt to track down the reclusive author of her favourite book, they learn to balance enjoying the moment and falling in love with the all too real possibility of loss.

The Maze Runner – James Dashner The structure of Dashner’s dystopian sci-fi mirrors the process the reader will go through upon opening The Maze Runner. Thomas wakes up, surrounded by other teenage boys, in the middle of a

Their attempts to escape lead to a blistering read that proves increasingly difficult to put down large glade, and with no memories of his life before his arrival. This complete lack of information makes the beginning of the novel frustrating for both Thomas and the reader, but as Dashner starts to reveal more about Thomas’ situation, the pace picks up and it becomes easily the most thrilling young adult ride this side of Katniss’ stint in the arena. The boys’ glade is surrounded by a gigantic maze roamed by terrifying creatures, and their attempts to escape lead to a blistering read that proves increasingly difficult to put down.

Photograph by Nomadic Lass via Flickr

Photograph by David Blackwell

poetry column From Suzanne Collins to Thomas Hardy, Kate Wilkinson shares one of her favourite wintery poems The Darkling Thrush

by Thomas Hardy I leant upon a coppice gate When Frost was spectre-gray, And Winter’s dregs made desolate The weakening eye of day.

The tangled bine-stems scored the sky Like strings of broken lyres, And all mankind that haunted nigh Had sought their household fires.

The land’s sharp features seemed to be The Century’s corpse outleant, His crypt the cloudy canopy, The wind his death-lament.

The ancient pulse of germ and birth Was shrunken hard and dry, And every spirit upon earth Seemed fervourless as I. At once a voice arose among The bleak twigs overhead In a full-hearted evensong Of joy illimited; An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small, In blast-beruffled plume, Had chosen thus to fling his soul Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings Of such ecstatic sound Was written on terrestrial things Afar or nigh around, That I could think there trembled through His happy good-night air Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew And I was unaware.

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Philip Whitehead - travel@palatinate.org.uk

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T RAV E L

N D I G O

going off piste Beth Tulley looks beyond the Alps this ski season

W

hether you’re a seasoned pro or have never skied before in your life, why not consider trying somewhere a little more off the beaten track to get your snow fix this year? Often you’ll get better value for money, the opportunity to visit cultural cities along the way, and an infinitely more interesting experience to write home about.

Japan Prepare to swap your vin chaud for sake and your salami for sashimi. Japan is home to over 600 ski resorts, some of which have been running for 70 years, and boasts more snowfall per year than western Canada. Flight times are similar to North America, but after arriving in Tokyo, you can be in resort within 90 minutes via a fast bullet train ride. Hakuba Valley hosted the 1998 Winter Olympics and is home to ten resorts, all serviced by high-speed lift systems that stay true to Japanese efficiency.

See http://skijapan.com Hawaii Mauna Kea, Hawaii’s highest extinct volcano, may be the perfect answer to those who can’t choose between snow and sun. Granted, it may not be the most well equipped ski area in the world (read: you’ll need a 4 by 4. And this is your chairlift) and at 4205m above sea level, you may occasionally struggle to breathe, but who’s complaining when you can round off the day sipping a coconut cocktail at a beach bar while the waves lap at your feet?

See http://www.hawaiiinfoguide.com/hawaii_skiing. htm

Hawaii may be the perfect combination for those who can’t choose between snow and sun

Scotland For a mountainous experience a little closer to home, Scotland’s five ski centres may quench the thirst of Durham students who can’t wait for Palatinalps in January. It is heavily dependent on the weather (so don’t plan too far in advance), but the last few years have seen some of the best seasons for Scottish skiing, and early snowfalls saw the opening of CairnGorm Mountain Centre earlier this month. Each centre is within five hours drive of Durham and caters to all abilities. One day lift passes for students are £24-26.

See http://ski.visitscotland.com

Kashmir

Morocco

“The best ski resort in the Himalayas” is a confident claim by the Gulmarg Resort in Kashmir, India. Incredible snowfall and often un-groomed runs give a lot for the adventurous skier to admire, as long as they can get past the strong military presence in this still disputed region between India and Pakistan. The 4200m gondola is one of the highest in the world and offers access to powder as good as any heli-drop experience. Once you’ve justified the cost of flights, Gulmarg is very reasonable, with a 6 day lift pass costing £112.

See http://ski-gulmarg.co.uk/the-skiing/

Two hours from Marrakech, the village of Oukaimeden is Africa’s highest ski resort, home to one charlift that peaks at 3258m, five unkept runs that are not for the novice skier, and first-class off-piste territory. Prepare to haggle for your hire equipment in the same way you would in a souk, and don’t be disheartened to find boots and helmets made in the 1980s. Lift passes are a steal at £7 per day.

See http://www.completemorocco.com/specialist-holidays/skiing-in-morocco/

Prepare to haggle for your hire equipment like you would in a souk Czech Republic Move over Bulgaria, there’s a new budget ski area in town. The small Czech resorts, most within an hour or two of Prague, offer incredible value for money particularly for beginner skiers. The highest resort – Pec pod Sněžkou, with a peak of 1602m – boasts ten modern lifts and eleven well-maintained pistes.

Not the most glamorous of alpine experiences, but at 80p per pint of fine Czech beer and ski passes from as little as £5 per day, the Czech Republic is the perfect place to give skiing a go without breaking the bank. Even if you find skiing just isn’t your thing, the stopover in Prague is worth your time.

See http://www.czech-mountains.eu/ Photograph by Simon_Music via Flickr

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Philip Whitehead - travel@palatinate.org.uk

T RAV E L

thailand by car Two students. One car. 600 km. 72 hours. 5 mad dogs. Here’s the log

As if the task of driving the 600km Mae Hong Son Loop situated in the most mountainous province in Thailand was not daunting enough, we were now undertaking the journey in a battered Toyota Vios with a wonky steering wheel. Our last-minute decision to hire a manual car had left us with no choice other than this ragged vehicle. To make matters worse, the wretched car’s stereo failed to work. The loop contained the most awesome roads I have ever driven; relentless twisting demanded constant vigilance and continual adjustments to our speed. Accompanying the exhilarating drive were breathtaking views of forest covered mountains divided by glistening rivers, which had carved out valleys over millennia.

That afternoon, we stopped off at some mystic hot water springs hidden in the forests of Huam Nong National Park. After driving for six hours, it was great to bathe in the pools, some hot enough to boil an egg! At dusk we arrived at Pai Canyon, which for me was a highlight of the trip.

While exploring and scrambling around this rocky outcrop, we found plenty of photo opportunities made all the better by the backdrop of a fiery sunset. That evening, we arrived in Pai, a hip travellers’ hangout with a laid-back atmosphere to match. We pitched up at the first hostel we came across, not because we were exhausted from driving 762 hairpin bends, but because we were struggling to navigate the narrow streets alive with local traders flaunting their products to crowds of tourists.

The next morning, we visited Tham Lod Cave, where we set off on a narrow wooden raft into the cave mouth and soon became engulfed by the cool, still air. Overhead, bats hung from the ceiling and swifts flew, niftily catching insects, while shimmering fish darted for the food scattered below by tour-

Five dogs chased us into the river while we were stretching our legs

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ists. Occasionally, the tour guide’s lantern would flicker, temporarily plunging us into darkness.

The biggest challenge was making it down steep staircases without using the handrail, which was coated in bat excrement!

We then took a 60km detour towards the Myanmar border to visit the Chinese outpost, Mae Aw. Arranged around an ice blue reservoir and surrounded by gentle sloping pine forests, it was a truly idyllic and tranquil scene. The Chinese mud huts and lanterns made this seem like a world away from everywhere else we had visited.

On Friday, we set off before breakfast to tackle Doi Inthanon, the highest peak in Thailand at 2590ft. In all honesty, the peak was an anticlimax because thick cloud obscured visibility so much that we could only make out the flashing lights of the road-works. It didn’t help that we were both starving; unknown to us, all the cafes en route were closed for the off-peak season. Not far from the summit, we stumbled upon a military shop where we ate an unhealthy number of pot noodles!

On Saturday morning, we were in danger of not making it back in time to return the car, all because five dogs chased us into a river while we were stretching our legs! Having declined rabies jabs, we each picked up a stick and began aggressively beating the water. Eventually, their attention was momentarily diverted and we made a break for the car.

However, our Toyota had one last trick up its sleeve: it did not have central locking. Therefore, Joe could not get in until I had unlocked his door from the inside, by which time the dogs were within metres. The terrified look on his face was priceless.

Throughout the loop, we encountered many challenges. We came face-to-face with a herd of stubborn buffalo, got lost countless times and Joe even ran over a chicken! Nevertheless, it provided the perfect opportunity to explore this unspoilt corner of Thailand at our own pace and I could not recommend it highly enough. If you ever find yourself in Thailand, do it – just be sure not to hire a Toyota Vios!

Story by Josh Williams Photographs by Josh Williams

Sudoku courtesy of sudoku-puzzles.net Illustration by Harriet Peel