Palatinate 843

Palatinate The UK and Ireland’s Best Student Publication, 2021

Thursday 28th October 2021 | No. 843

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BOYCOTT

(Cana Tutuncu and Adam Eldridge)

• Clubs vow to ‘stamp out’ spiking • University working with police • Over 160 alleged cases in two weeks • More than 1,400 stay home in protest Poppy Askham News Editor More than 1,400 Durham University students pledged to participate in the ‘Durham Night In’, a student-led boycott of the city’s bars and nightclubs in protest of the recent increase in

drink spikings.

The night saw empty dance floors across the city as teams of campaigners roamed the streets encouraging potential clubgoers to change their plans.

The Durham Night In, which was held on 26th October, was one of the first student boycotts to be held this week as part of the

national #BigNightIn movement involving students at over sixty universities.

The initiative came following a report revealed that more than 160 students had reported suspected cases of drink spiking to their college JCRs. The study, carried out

by Joe Anson, St Chad’s College JCR Vice President compiled reports

by students to their JCRs via freps and welfare teams about incidents that occurred during Freshers’ Week, the week leading up to it and the weekend after.

Nationally, police forces have received almost 200 reports of drink spiking over the past two months.

Durham’s student boycott was chiefly orchestrated by Hala Heenan, current president of St Chad’s College JCR, in order to protest the recent spate of incidents and pressure clubs and bars to improve safety provisions for their customers.

Continued on page 4

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

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Editorial (Rosie Bromiley)

Inside 843 News pages 1-6 Satire page 8 Comment pages 9-11 Profile pages 12-13 Scitech pages 14-16 Politics pages 17-19 Puzzles page 20 Palatidates page 21 Sport pages 22-24

indigo

Students band together as institutions stay inert

O

ver 160 reports of drink spiking to college JCRs in just the first two weeks of term, students spiked at a ticketed college event, and horrific stories nationally and now here of women spiked by injection.

It has taken until now, finally, for the police, hospital, University and colleges to confront the issue together That anyone goes through the conscious effort of sourcing illegal drugs, bringing them into a Durham club, and deliberately targeting a woman, out of pure maliciousness or sickening intent, is beyond disgusting. That some perpetrators have been shown to be Durham students should shake us to the core.

Mass student power and action will force the instittuions to do something for the people they should protect The reaction to the epidemic of such incidents has been telling.

First on the scene, the brilliant freps, student volunteers with little to no spiking training, treated victims and took them safely home.

Institutional failure kicked in.

JCRs told us that at this point, bouncers kicked victims out of clubs assuming they were drunk.

The only University contact they had was by running back to grab a porter. The next morning, some shocked students spoke to the police, who told them to get a toxicology report from the hospital. At the hospital, one student waited nine hours and then went home. Many were told A&E just couldn’t help. The police said they could not investigate without the test.

That some perpetrators have been shown to be Durham students should shake us to the core While this inertia raged on for over a week, the University sat on its hands and shot itself in the foot.

One JCR asked directly for drink covers, and were told to wait two weeks. The #dontgetspiked tweet by a Durham University Welfare account — “spiking is dangerous and something you can prevent happening to you and your friends” — was eyebrow-raising and victim-blaming, as the cartoon above demonstrates.

It has taken until now, finally, for the police, hospital, University and colleges to confront the issue together.

But while institutions with paid professionals, communications

departments and social media managers held meetings to figure out what was going on, the students instantly recognised the issues and moved to fill the void left by authorities.

Students instantly recognised the issues and moved to fill the void left by authorities The fantastic Durham Night In campaign helped students unite in action in a matter of days. Where stereotypes suggest students resort to thankless petitions and underattended demonstrations, the reality was thousands seemingly instantly telling clubs they need to change and organising a hugely successful mass boycott of nightclubs.

Stereotypes suggest students resort to thankless petitions and underattended demonstrations

Editorial page 2 Features page 3 Books pages 4-5 Music page 6 Film & TV page 7 Creative Writing pp. 8-9 Travel page 10 Style page 11 Interview pages 12-13 Food & Drink page 14 Stage page 15 Visual Arts page 16

Letters to the editor Disagree with something we’ve published? Send an email to editor@palatinate.org.uk explaining why for a chance to be featured in print monitoring, drink covers, and drug testing kits — a wave of measures which will undoubtedly stick.

This has been a horrible period for students, especially women, who after a year or two of fear over Covid faced a new epidemic. But if we are to take something from this, we should know something that has been forgotten in Durham for too long — mass student power and action will force the institutions to do something for the people they should protect.

Max Kendix Editor-in-Chief

Students should be proud of this unity and what it has done.

As this newspaper reports today, the student action has changed the landscape of Durham nightlife for years to come. Proper checks on the door across Durham, CCTV

Palatinate is published by Durham Students’ Union on a fortnightly basis during term and is editorially independent. All contributors and editors are full-time students at Durham University. Send letters to: Editor, Palatinate, Durham Students’ Union, Dunelm House, New Elvet, Durham, DH1 3AN. Alternatively, send an e-mail to editor@palatinate.org.uk

Palatinate Editorial Board Editors-in-Chief Toby Donegan-Cross & Max Kendix editor@palatinate.org.uk Deputy Editors Martha McHardy & Harrison Newsham News Editors Theo Burman, Lilith Foster-Collins & Poppy Askham news@palatinate.org.uk News Reporters Orlando Bell & Elizabeth McBride Investigations Editors Patrick Stephens & Kathryn Ellison Satire Editors Ben Lycett & Hannah Williams satire@palatinate.org.uk Comment Editors Ellie Fitzgerald-Tesh & Anna Noble comment@palatinate.org.uk Deputy Comment Editors George Pickthorn & Miriam Shelley Profile Editors Paul Ray & Ethan Sanitt profile@palatinate.org.uk Science & Technology Editors Elise Garcon, Cameron McAllister & Caitlin Painter scitech@palatinate.org.uk Politics Editors Maddy Burt & Rj Batkhuu politics@palatinate.org.uk Deputy Politics Editors Joe Rossiter & Laetitia Eichinger Puzzles Editors Thomas Simpson, Hugo Bush & Katie Smith puzzles@palatinate.org.uk Sport Editors George Simms, Abi Curran & Jonny Tiplady sport@palatinate.org.uk Deputy Sport Editors Harvey Stevens & Mary Atkinson Indigo Editors Cerys Edwards & Honor Douglas indigo@palatinate.org.uk Deputy Indigo Editor Adeline Zhao Features Editors Isobel Tighe & Miriam Mitchell features@palatinate.org.uk Creative Writing Editors Millie Stott & Ella Al-Khalil Coyle creative.writing@palatinate.org.uk Stage Editors Ben Smart & Jodie Sale stage@palatinate.org.uk Visual Arts Editors Nicole Wu & Christian Bland visual.arts@palatinate.org.uk Books Editors Imogen Marchant & Samuel Lopes books@palatinate.org.uk Style Editors Grace Jessop & Anna Johns fashion@palatinate.org.uk Food & Drink Editors Nia Kile, Josie Lockwood & Emerson Shams food@palatinate.org.uk Travel Editors Gracie Linthwaite & Holly Downes travel@palatinate.org.uk Film & TV Editors Charlotte Grimwade & Grace Marshall film@palatinate.org.uk Music Editors Katya Davisson & Annabelle Bulag music@palatinate.org.uk Interview Editors Stephanie Ormond & Abigail Brierley indigo.interview@palatinate.org.uk Photography Editors Lainey Lin, Thomas Tomlinson & Rob Laine photography@palatinate.org.uk Illustration Editors Verity Laycock, Rosie Bromiley, Victoria Cheng & Anna Kuptsova illustration@palatinate.org.uk Social Media Officers Felicity Hartley, Georgia Heath & Hannah Davies Business Director JJ Littlemore businessdirector@palatinate.org.uk Heads of Advertising Thaddeus Dominic, Ben Stoneley & Kyra Onyebuchi advertising@palatinate.org.uk Heads of Alumni Relations Elena Liciu & Ben Stoneley alumni@palatinate.org.uk Finance Officer Sophie Garnett finance@palatinate.org.uk

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PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

News

Durham spends £10m on consultancy including £405k on admissions advice Lilith Foster-Collins and Theo Burman News Editors The University spent over £10.1m on its most used consultancy firms between 2016 and 2021, according to data seen by Palatinate.

The firms include consultants in technology, university admissions, and management.

Cubane Consulting received £128,000 in 2020-21, rising to £405,188 over the last five years. Cubane Consulting specialise in university admissions, “helping university admissions make informed decisions and continually access results”.

This year’s admissions cycle saw thousands offered to students to defer, and many freshers a halfhour walk away from their college.

Some students were given 24 hours to decide whether to take a year out or switch colleges, despite previously having their first choice college confirmed.

Durham has also been criticised over admissions figures that favour wealthier students. Over the last five years, eight times as many students were admitted to Durham from the wealthiest areas of the country than from the most deprived (see p.6). £60,975 was paid to Inside Out Communications Consulting during the last academic year, who specialise in communication about technology. On their website the company states: “We help you talk to your people about your new technology and why it matters to

(Thomas Tomlinson)

them. People find change hard.

They find it even harder when they are in the dark.”

The University operated fully online during the Covid-19 pandemic, using Zoom and Blackboard Collaborate Ultra for lectures and seminars. Staff had to rapidly adapt to online teaching.

Durham’s Digital Streategy was launched in December 2020.

Symatix, which operates the University’s Consent Matters

programme and staff time cards and absences, received £200,179 for services in 2020-21.

Durham’s expenditure on consultancy matches Cardiff University and Queen Mary, which both spent just over £11million on their top ten consultancy firms in the last five years, but is drastically exceeded by Oxford, which spent almost £40 million.

The University of Liverpool spent £16million on all

consultancy over the last five years, while Bristol spent £26million.

In 2011, the consultancy firm KPMG and Durham University launched a school leavers’ programme, in which the firm would pay the full fees for Accounting students while training them for graduate positions at the firm. In 2018, KPMG also ran an accounting summer school at Queen’s Campus.

In the last five years, KPMG received commissions worth at least £3.7million from Durham University.

This makes KPMG the highest paid consultancy firm in the last five years, with no other firm receiving more than £2million.

The second highest paid was PA Consulting Services, who received at least £1.6 million.

The University declined to comment on these findings.

fourth, according to a Freedom of Information request submitted

by The Telegraph.

The top three private schools received a total of 1,030 offers from Durham between 2018 and 2020, whilst the remaining three state schools – Peter Symonds College, Greenhead College, and Hills Road Sixth Form College – received a combined 1,005.

The data showed that the

school that received the most offers from the University was Hills Road Sixth Form College.

This was closely followed by Eton College and Quingdao Hongguang Foreign Language College, an independent institution with numerous centres located across China.

A spokesperson for Durham University responded to these findings, telling Palatinate: “We actively encourage students from a broad range of backgrounds to apply to Durham, including those who are from backgrounds that are underrepresented in Higher Education”.

Nationally six to seven per cent of pupils study at independent fee-paying schools, but the cohort is significantly over-represented at Russell Group Universities.

The number of students admitted to Durham from independent fee-paying schools reached 37.8% in 2020-21, rising

for the second successive year.

An investigation by The Independent revealed that private school pupils make up over a quarter of the student body at 22 out of 25 Russell Group universities.

The schools that ranked first place in the number of offers received from Cambridge, Oxford and Edinburgh were all independent; the latter two awarded the most offers to Eton College students.

However, of the 19 Russell Group universities that provided data, 14, including Durham University, had given the highest number of offers to a state school and 11 listed exclusively state schools in their top five offer recipients.

This month, the Race family from Northumberland donated £1m to a scholarship fund for North East students from lowincome backgrounds. It will

provide £4,000 a year to four local students of history and liberal arts. Student Grace Purnell said the scholarship opened up a “field of opportunities”.

The University’s spokesperson was keen to stress that the institution has a number of schemes in place that focus on increasing the number of students from “low participation neighbourhoods”, including a Supported Progression scheme targeted at local students and a Schools Membership Scheme for schools with high proportions of students from under-represented backgrounds.

The University spokesperson also acknowledged the need for progress, stating: “We are not complacent and we are constantly making improvements to our admissions and support systems for all students, and especially for those who are under-represented at Durham University.”

Eton College among schools that get most Durham offers Poppy Askham News Editor Half of the six schools that receive the most offers from Durham University are independent feepaying institutions.

Eton College received the second highest number of offers to study at the University, whilst Westminster College placed

(Eton College)

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Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

News

Police confirm multiple reports Why are people boycotting?

Poppy Askham News Editor

Students at Chad’s enjoy pizza (Adeline Zhao)

Continued from front Durham Constabulary has confirmed that it received several reports of drink spiking last weekend, some of which have involved needles.

Superintendent Neal Bickford, from Durham Constabulary, stated that: “Thorough investigations, which include medical and forensic examinations, are being carried out into each report.”

One anonymous victim told Palatinate: “During freshers week I was spiked at [Durham nightclub]. I could tell immediately that it was different to being drunk because I was fully aware of what was going on around me; I knew what was happening but I was unresponsive.

“I couldn’t speak even though I could formulate a response in my head I felt really sick I couldn’t keep myself upright.”

The anonymous student also explained that they had been unable to obtain a toxicology report at University Hospital of North Durham to confirm that they had been spiked, despite waiting for three hours in A&E and that staff could not advise her on an alternative testing facility.

When contacted for comment about the lack of testing facilities, a spokesperson for County Durham and Darlington NHS Foundation Trust said, “Our emergency department teams investigate and treat the symptoms a patient presents with. When there is a suspicion or allegation that the patient may have been the victim of a crime, that would be referred to our colleagues in the police, who have their own investigative processes.”

The anonymous student went on to add: “It’s taken a huge toll on me mentally.

“My entire uni experience has been completely destroyed by the actions of one person who hasn’t had to suffer any consequences.”

Bickford stated that: “We understand the concerns that people – in particular, students – have around their safety and the night-time economy and are working closely with licensed premises and door staff to increase security and ensure people feel safe on nights out.”

The recent upsurge in spiking reports in Durham and the University’s handling of the issue has provoked student uproar of an intensity that has rarely been seen in recent years.

In a university city not known for its student activism, an antispiking movement has risen up that has pulled support from all quarters, uniting students from sports teams and feminist societies alike.

Indeed, in a remarkable moment for the University, Durham students have emerged amongst the frontrunners in a national campaign to improve clubgoers’ safety and tackle what some have described as an “epidemic”.

The rise in spiking cases comes just over six months after the abduction and murder of Sarah Everrard, a Durham alumna, put the limits of women’s safety in the UK into sharp focus.

Durham was one of the first of more than 60 UK universities to organise a nightclub boycott. Not only that, but the energetic social media campaigning of groups like Durham Night In and the recent publication of a studentcompiled report into suspected spiking incidents at the beginning of term, have attracted international media attention and cemented the Durham student body’s place as a leading voice in the campaign.

The decision of more than 90 teams and societies to back the nightclub boycott and the dominance of the topic in student conversations over the past week are testament to the extent to which the Durham students have engaged with this issue.

Murmurs of unease first began

to simmer in Freshers’ Week as cases of suspected spiking in the city started to soar, but it was not until several weeks later that student anger truly boiled over.

The inciting incident? A nowdeleted tweet from Durham University’s Student Wellbeing team that told students #dontgetspiked.

Scores of students took to their keyboards to lampoon the University for its victim-blaming message. Scorn came from all sides: Durham Students’ Union President Seun Twins and City of Durham MP Mary Foy to name but two critics.

By the time it was deleted, the post had received more than 900 comments, the majority of which voiced harsh criticism of the University.

Although the University removed the message and issued a statement saying that it had noted feedback on the post and that it took the issue of spiking “very seriously”, the damage had been done.

This misstep from the University had a galvanising effect on the student body. The following day the Durham Night In boycott was launched and the protest movement surrounding the issue has continued to snowball ever since. As talk turns to the movement’s next steps, there are even those considering extending the boycott to span over the weekend of Halloween.

In the seeming absence of sensitive leadership from the University, students have taken matters into their own hands with palpable results: three clubs and bars closed their doors on Tuesday night and a raft of new safety measures have been introduced in venues across the city.

90 societies back boycott Poppy Askham News Editor More than 1400 Durham University students pledged to participate in the ‘Durham Night In’, a student-led boycott of the city’s bars and nightclubs in protest of the recent increase in drink spikings.

The night saw empty dance floors across the city, as more than 90 sports clubs and societies urged their members to stay home.

The Durham Night In, which was held on 28th October, was one of the first student boycotts to be held this week as part of the

national #BigNightIn movement involving students at over sixty universities.

Fabio’s, Jimmy Allen’s, and the Durham Union bar, 24s took the decision to close their doors on Tuesday night.

The initiative came following a report revealed that more than 160 students had reported suspected cases of drink spiking to their college JCRs. The study, carried out by Joe Anson, St Chad’s College JCR Vice President compiled reports by students to their JCRs via freps and welfare teams about incidents that occurred during Freshers Week, the week leading up to it and the weekend after.

Clubs introduce searches on entry Martha McHardy Deputy Editor A number of Durham nightclubs have introduced changes to how they operate in response to increased cases of drink spiking in Durham City.

“I don’t think the issue is going to go away overnight” Martha McHardy and Poppy Askham Deputy Editor and News Editor

Jimmy Allen’s said they will be increasing the number of people being searched on entry, and body cameras will now be worn by management and a number of bar staff. Staff at Jimmy Allen’s will also now be subject ​​to drug searches at random at the beginning of and during The Durham Night In’s principal aim was to raise awareness around the recent spate of spikings in the city, rather than to exact a direct economic blow to nightlife venues, according to its principal organiser, Hala Heenan.

Heenan, the current St Chad’s College JCR President, Palatinate that the boycott primarily aimed to bring “students together in solidarity”.

“It’s about raising awareness, having these conversations, and hopefully evoking some change.

“We want to empower people to be able to go out and have the right resources, and the right in-

Leaflettin

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

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News

s of injection spiking in Durham University threatens to expel spiking perpetrators Poppy Askham News Editor

Klute, Europe’s worst nightclub and a local favourite, empty on Tuesday 26th October (Thomas Tomlinson) shifts. Cup lids and straws will also be provided to customers, and hand held metal detectors will be introduced.

Players has opted to introduce drinks covers, additional CCTV monitoring and increased training for staff on recognising and dealing with vulnerable persons.

Unattended drinks will also be removed immediately, and the ‘Ask for Angela’ initiative will be implemented, which aims to keep people safe from

ng for The Durham Night In (Thomas Tomlinson)

sexual assault by allowing customers to use the codeword “Angela” to identify to a staff member when they are in danger or an uncomfortable situation.

Babylon, which is located on North Road, will provide drug testing kits for spiking victims, and metal detectors will be used to search customers entering the premises.

Fabio’s bar explained that it will not be increasing door staff as “more policing doesn’t always

equate to a safer environment”, instead stocking drink covers and using CCTV to greater use to catch perpetrators. Fabio’s also announced that it would be partnering with Urban Angels, a local group that seeks to help protect women walking home.

In a statement published by Durham Night In, the group said they are “pleased” with the speed at which the threat of the boycott has persuaded clubs to act, but they admitted, “there is a long way to go”.

formation to feel like they can go out safely and enjoy themselves.”

Speaking on the afternoon of the boycott, she explained that she had been encouraged by the level of support from both students and nightclubs.

Heenan was also positive about Durham Constabluary and North of Durham Unviersity Hosptial’s response to the campaign.

“I’m very encouraged by it”, she stated. “I don’t think the issue is going to go away overnight. But they’ve been really receptive to the campaign.”

She noted that in conversations with local police, they had stressed

that even if students are unable to obtain toxicology reports, they can still report suspected spiking cases to police. Cups that may have been spiked and even vomit from potential victims can provide crucial evidence.

There have been several calls for the boycott to be extended beyond Tuesday night.

Heenan responded to accusations that a single-day boycott would prove insufficient, by saying “people are taking us seriously, so I don’t see the need to continue it.”

Durham University has unveiled new measures to tackle the rise in spiking incidents amongst its student body.

The University will be adopting a multi-agency approach, which will see it collaborate with Durham Constabulary, North of Durham University Hospital, the Student Union and colleges to improve student safety.

Professor Antony Long, Acting Vice-Chancellor of Durham University, stated: “The health, safety and wellbeing of our students is our first priority. Additional safety measures will be put in place in colleges as part of the new approach; including giving out free spikeys, reviewing the range and quality of CCTV coverage and increasing training for staff.”

The University will also launch a joint staff-student messaging campaign aimed at raising awareness about spiking and advising students who feel unsafe.

Long stressed that spiking is considered an act of misconduct within the University and that those suspected to have committed an offence will be subject to the Unviersity’s internal disciplinary procedures. Perpetrators will face potential expulsion from the University.

Empty venues (Adeline Zhao)

Long stated that “we will continue to support students affected by this issue by offering welfare and pastoral support, signposting to specialist services.

“We continue to seek feedback from our students and external partners on additional ways we can help prevent and respond to the issue of spiking fo our students’ safety.”

Spiking is not separate from sexual violence Jonah Graham Welfare and Liberation Officer, Durham Students’ Union It is important to remember the deeper issues surrounding spiking — spiking should not be removed from the context of sexual and gendered violence.

Spiking is assault and it is mostly used as a tool to render students vulnerable for further misconduct. Some perpetrators will spike multiple drinks in one night before targeting the person who is the least protected.

Spiking can lead to abhorrent sexual violence that may have lasting physical and psychological implications for a survivor— especially as our culture still carries stigma against victims.

All blame here is on the individual who choses to spike.

Regardless of the substance used or the method of delivery taking away someone’s consent is wrong.

Any student can be spiked but it is important to note women and LGBT+ students who are targeted may have been targeted because of their gender or sexuality.

Therefore, spiking is often an act of gendered violence — a purposeful attack against women — stemming from cultural misogyny. Women students who are now able go out after lockdown are being met with the same misogyny that has risked rendering public spaces unsafe for years.

This requires long-term cultural change which is far harder to implement than preventive measures.

The Students’ Union is committed to facilitating this change through lobbying for mandatory active bystander training that includes proper discussions of consent. We anticipate our work through the Culture Commission will begin to create tangible policies that can tackle the cultural causes of gendered and sexual violence.

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Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

News

Wealthiest students eight times more likely to attend Durham University

Patrick Stephens Investigations Editor

Over the last five years, eight times as many students were admitted to Durham University from the wealthiest areas of the country than from the most deprived, according to data obtained by Palatinate from Freedom of Information requests.

The 93% Club Durham, which advocates for state school students, said that “deeper and more ambitious changes” are needed.

Levels of deprivation are measured according to the official Index of Multiple Deprivation, with IMD-10 the ‘least deprived’ areas and IMD-1 the ‘most deprived’. The data highlights the infamous disparity between the University and the surrounding county. The average (median) student admitted in 2020/21 is on the border line between IMD-7 and IMD-8: that is, in the wealthiest 30%. The average of IMD for County Durham as a whole is 4.3: that is, in the most deprived half of areas.

The figures are only for undergraduate students who live in the UK, and therefore do not include international students who typically pay much higher fees.

In 2020/21, as a result of exam grades complications in the UK, significantly more students met their offers and were admitted to the University. In raw terms, the wealthiest areas saw the highest increase in students admitted: 165 more than the four year average, compared to 65 more students from the most deprived area.

The ratio of UK-domiciled

students admitted from IMD-10 (least deprived) to IMD-1 (most deprived) has fallen in the last 5 years: from almost 9:1 from the wealthiest backgrounds to from the most deprived to less than six.

However, almost all of this fall came in 2020/21 with the exams fiasco - in 2018/19, for example, the figure rose to 11. Because the number of students from IMD1 is so small relative to IMD-10, the ratio is significantly affected by small changes in the number from IMD-1.

The number of students admitted from the most deprived

two deciles remained fairly stable between 70 and 100 and 120 and 130 respectively from 2016-17 to 2019/20, the last year prior to the disruption to admissions due to the pandemic.

The Index of Multiple Deprivation is based on the address of a student. This is the official government measure of relative deprivation in England, considering factors such as financial resources.

The seven distinct ‘domains’ of deprivation considered are income, employment, health deprivation, disability, education

(Thomas Tomlinson) and skills training, crime, barriers to housing and services, and living environment.

Durham 93% Club, a student group which advocates for and supports state school students, told Palatinate: “While the 93% Club welcomes the fact that the number of most deprived students being admitted into Durham is increasing, it is clear that not enough is being done to broaden Durham’s outreach and appeal to the least well-off students.

“The 93% Club has argued

since it was founded that Durham University needs to do more to encourage and support applications of students from state schools, in particular those with a deprived student base.

This must be accompanied by meaningful action in addressing the image and reputation of Durham University as elitist and unrepresentative of the student bodies of schools in deprived areas.

“While small positive progressive steps are being taken to diversify Durham’s intake, Durham University needs to accept the reality of the deeper and more ambitious changes needed to ensure that more stateschool students and those who are most deprived are admitted and feel welcomed into this wonderful place to study.”

A Durham University spokesperson said: “We strive to ensure we have a diverse and inclusive student community.

We want students from all backgrounds with the merit and potential to succeed here at the University.

“We run a number of successful schemes aimed at widening participation, and our latest Access and Participation Plan is by far the boldest yet with demanding targets that we aim to meet. These targets focus on increasing enrolments of students from Low Participation Neighbourhoods (POLAR 4) and black students.

“We actively encourage students from a broad range of backgrounds to apply to Durham, including those who are from backgrounds that are underrepresented in Higher Education.”

Foy moves to raise smoking age to 21 Durham eSports deal in amendment to health and care bill Poppy Askham News Editor Durham City MP Mary Foy has tabled a series of new antismoking proposals, which include allowing the Health Secretary to raise the legal age for smoking to 21 and printing “smoking kills” on individual cigarettes.

The Labour MP submitted an amendment to the health and care bill in a bid to hold the government to account for its goal for England to be ‘smokefree’ by 2030.

To achieve this ‘smoke-free’ status the proportion of adults

smoking in England would have to fall to just 5%, from 14.1% at the moment.

“We know that cigarettes are cancer sticks and kill half the people who use them so I hope that health warnings on cigarettes would deter people from being tempted to smoke in the first place, especially young people”, Foy stated.

Smoking rates in County Durham are above the national average, sitting at 17%, a figure that rises to 27% amongst those with routine and manual occupations.

Foy told MPs that “smokers in the North-East lose around £600 million because of

unemployment and reduced income due to smoking”.

Foy, who currently sits as vice-chair on the All Party Parliamentary Group on Smoking and Health, describes the introduction of anti-smoking legislation as “an issue close to my heart”. She previously chaired the Gateshead Tobacco Control Alliance.

Cancer Research UK and the Royal College of Physicians have welcomed the amendments.

Foy has also received support in Parliament from Conservative MP Bob Blackman and the shadow secretaries for health and justice, Jonathan Ashworth and Alex Cunningham.

Theo Burman News Editor

Durham is considering eSports scholarships for relevant degrees in a collaboration with eSports organisation LDN UTD. The deal, a first for a UK university, also includes mental health talks, digital skills workshops, online tournaments and offline large-scale events.

The move is part of Durham’s new focus on eSports, with the official SU Gaming society recently joining Team Durham.

LDN UTD uses eSports to address social issues and promote health and wellbeing, and is aiming to increase the opportunities for Durham

students to develop their skills, learn about the industry, gain access to work experience opportunities and stay healthy.

The University also plans to extend support to competitors and people in County Durham who may be interested in learning more about eSports.

Durham University eSports and Gaming President, Lordie Bevan, said the orgsnisation’s support provides a “great opportunity to combat the issues of mental health and isolation that have affected our community during the Covid pandemic.”

LDN UTD founder, Oliver Weingarten, said: “we look forward to partnering to support the students and engage a wider community.”

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

7

News

Anti-abortion campaign displays graphic imagery to have permission to protest at the spot from local authorities and that they had informed the police beforehand.

The all-male protesters were equipped with graphic images Since the start of the academic of what they claimed to be parts year, Durham has seen a of the abortion process. resurgence in anti-abortion Freshers representatives and protestors, who frequently welfare students from use billboards with graphic Grey College, whose images. This comes in the students were context of a national Freps using the route debate over antiattempted to the campaigners abortion groups within cover the images were on at the universities. with a banner time to get to the A group of activists Fair, attempted to from a national cover the images campaign were first with a banner, and set present during Freshers’ up a perimeter warning Week, on Tuesday 28th and passers-by about the graphic Wednesday 29th September, the content up ahead. dates of this year’s Freshers Fair.

In response to this, the The group, who states their campaigners called the police, aim is to “challenge views who prevented the freps from of abortion”, gathered at the covering the images.

Palatine Centre roundabout.

On a separate occasion on As the Freshers’ Fair was being 16th October, campaigners held at Maiden Castle, the route representing the same national of many hill college students group positioned themselves on took them past the campaigners.

Framwellgate Bridge. Content The protesters were equipped warnings were in place at either with graphic images of what end of the bridge. they claimed to be parts of the This is not the first time that abortion process. They claimed

Theo Burman and Lilith Foster-Collins News Editors

an anti-abortion group has caused controversy in Durham.

In 2019 the Durham Students for Life group organised an event entitled “How to Be a Voice for the Voiceless and Defend PreBorn Babies”, which was held at St. Cuthbert’s Church. The event was protested by the Durham Students for Abortion Access and Durham Intersectional Feminist Society groups.

Several universities across the UK have seen an increase in pro-life activism this term. At the Oxford University Freshers Fair, the Oxford Students for Life stall was dismantled by protestors, and the society was heavily criticised by the Oxford Feminist Society, who argued they should not have a place at the SU-run fair.

Exeter University also drew criticism for the guild approval of Exeter Students For Life, with a petition claiming that society promotes a “dangerous ideology” and will “exacerbate the pre-existing stigmas around abortion” gaining more than 8,000 signatures.

Durham Police were contacted for comment.

From Paris with love Sophie Farmer Studying in France has opened my eyes to an unparalleled range of cultural experiences and opportunities that I could only have dreamt of in Durham.

Studying English Studies in France, however, leaves me with rather fewer opportunities to practise French.

On the surface, I find that the city of Paris takes dutiful pride in maintaining its appearance and upkeep, as opposed to London as more of a ‘working city’.

But what can be found underground on the metro is a sub-culture of its own. Travelling each day through Gare du Nord to Porte de Clignancourt frankly makes the Tube look like luxury.

Barrier hopping and people throwing their bodies threw the closing train doors is a common sight.

On another note, witnessing the police heavily armed on the streets of Paris will never not intimidate me. A friend of mine once said the barrels of the guns are not loaded and are put in place to protect the civilians, though when the authorities have large firearms pointing in your direction as they walk by, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable.

Seeing as the authorities are also predominately young men, catcalling and flirting with women on the streets is unfortunately a regular occurrence, particularly among the sapeurs-pompiers (firefighters).

And let’s not forget the most important topic: drinking culture.

While Parisian bars and terrace cafés are by no means in short

supply, finding a cheap pint and students that ‘see off their drinks’ is a rarity. To savour one’s drink (singular) is typically à la française. But with the Swan, Klute and Jimmy’s at our disposal, can we really be blamed? The French was for seeing off a drink is apparently ‘boire/faire cul sec’.

So, do with this phrase what you will at your next soirée!

(Lou Cook-Allen)

From the Archives

The Students’ Union faces a remarkably familiar political crisis Palatinate 409, 12th February, 1987

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

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Satire Satire Editors: ‘Bloodcurdling’ Benjamin Lycett & Hannah ‘Hell’ Williams For more satire, visit www.palatinate.org.uk/category/satire

Palatinat e Satire

alleged ‘zombie invasion’ actually hungover students going to 9am lectures

English Dept. misunderstands need for state-of-the-art meeting Owls’ Digital development is at the forefront of the University’s ‘Soaring 4 Success’ and ‘empowering people towards the extraordinary’ strategy, however a particular department were dumbfounded at the need for a ‘new,’ ‘innovative,’ ‘ahead-of-the-curb’ parliament of owls, claiming to have been “doing this kind of thing for years.”

In an exclusive interview with Palatinate, one spokesperson called Liz Tawny revealed that “it just doesn’t seem financially justifiable to me, to spend all this money on new digital owls when our lovely barn owls are just as efficient’” although, she did

go on to mention that a few of the Little Owls had struggled with some of the larger parcels in the past.

The Official launch of these state-ofthe-art Owls is set to take place at Elvet Riverside, with a masterclass in owl wood carving and an owl flying display, to honour the previous owls.

It is rumoured that the next part of the strategy will pump millions into upgrading the ‘Owl Pro’ to the ‘Owl Pro X 9,000 High RES’, which is to start hooting and taking flight mid seminar, ‘for a seasonably spooky, immersive experience for our students.’

Durham student housing

Earlier this morning, reports emerged of an apocalyptic army of the undead marching toward the University campus, with some of them heard to be moaning the word ‘brains’.

However, concerned citizens were relieved to find out the flock of pale-faced figures trudging to the site were actually just bleary-eyed students reluctantly attending their 9am lectures.

Palatinate was told the reason they were muttering ‘brains’ due to the pounding headaches they were experiencing after a particularly disorderly ‘Players Wednesday’.

The all-clear came in the nick of time for the campus security guard, who had been worried he would need to face a terrifying onslaught alone: “Thankfully they were just tired-looking students, I was lucky I’d only gunned down a couple of them by that point.”

The potential invasion was initially reported by a passerby who thought they’d seen a ghoulish figure devouring a brain on their walk through the town centre. In reality, the ‘brain’ was really student’s breakfast, a solid mound of mince, because it was the only thing left in their fridge after they drunkenly inhaled its contents when they got in at 3am.

I WAS LUCKY ID ONLY GUNNED

DOWN

A

COUPLE OF THEM As it turns out, there had been one actual zombie on the loose in Durham, going round devouring the brains of Geography students. Although, nobody has reported changes in any of the geographers’ behaviour or cognitive abilities.

Pumpkins for sale

Love

Selling 1000s of pumpkins, perfect for carving some scary Halloween designs! Earliest delivery available from 1st November.

Looking for a suitable ghoulfrien. I’m your average ghost: I love chilling in abandoned manor houses and haunting the unsuspecting.

Contact: Lolthe@tsiro.nic

Contact: imaghost@ghoulglemail.com

Curtains needed

Head Chef wanted

Just your average vamipre looking for something to keep that pesky sun out of my lounge during the day so I can watch ‘Bargain Hunt’ in peace.

3 years kitchen experience necessary. Must know how to properly season, roast and severe heads.

Contact: dracula@realemailaddress.com

Contact: owner@river-bookitchen.com

Missing Cat

Art

Has anyone seen my black cat Hilda? Last seen when I was doing my normal business on Monday, putting a curse on the Clarke family down the road.

Prof. Cuthbert Binns, 689 yrs old, looking to commission some signs for my Hawthorn terrace kitchen, ‘creepin’ it real in the viaduct’, ‘ghouls just want to have fun’ and ‘I’m here for the boos’ would be smashing. Drop by my office hours from 2am4am if interested.

Contact: BeatrixTheWitch@AOL. com

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PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

Comment

Can changing rhetoric save our representatives?

Charles DenleyMyserson

On 15th October 2021, Sir David Amess, the Conservative MP for Southend West, was murdered while holding a surgery for his constituents. In what has now been deemed a terrorist incident, Amess was attacked while listening to the needs of those he represents — a fundamental part of the UK’s democratic process, which is now under threat.

However, what makes this tragedy more saddening is that this threat is not an isolated occurrence and has been present over recent years. Indeed, only five years ago, Jo Cox was brutally murdered while on her way to meet constituents. These two recent murders indicate the presence of a violent political and social undercurrent that has been brewing for many years.

What makes both Cox’s and Amess’ cases especially difficult to interpret is that both victims were reliable and relatively unknown backbench MPs. Cox was an avid humanitarian, setting up the ‘Friends for Syria’ All Party Parliamentary Group to help educate those in Parliament about the struggles which everyday Syrians face, in order to produce effective policies for the

region.

Amess’ recent project saw him promoting a Children’s Parliament, designed to provide the youth with a platform to champion issues that were pertinent to them, like climate change.

It is a testament to the toxicity running within our politics that two hardworking and committed public servants were the targets of two brutal murders.

Despite both the suspects in Amess’ and Cox’s cases coming from very opposite political and religious backgrounds, they seem to have both gone through similar stages of radicalisation.

Thomas Mair, Cox’s murderer, found inspiration online through various white supremacist movements. This radical white supremacy led him to believe that killing Cox, a pro-Remain MP, would put “Britain first” and “keep Britain independent”; both claims that he made while attacking her.

Moreover, the suspect in the killing of Amess, Ali Harbi Ali, is also claimed to have been radicalised online. Ali had been referred to Prevent, the Government’s extremism programme. Both Mair and Ali found their inspiration through divisive religious and political movements, and both carried out attacks in the belief that they

were acting accordingly.

Nevertheless, it seems as though an answer as to how to prevent this radicalisation is still unclear. Free speech is integral to our democratic processes. It facilitates discourse and creates a society and a political system which focuses on cooperation and cohabitation.

However, the ease and frequency at which people can become radicalised online seems to undermine these key values.

Free speech seems to have been seized by those wishing to destroy its core and is now being utilised to attack the foundations of democracies around the world.

However, placing restrictions on freedom of speech may not have the desired affects to prevent future attacks on our politicians and our democracy. Indeed, it may have the opposite effect of alienating more and more people, which only hastens radicalisation.

Stating that some views are illegal to hold and espouse may encourage dangerous narratives.

It may reinforce the notion, held by these radical groups, that those in power are attempting to silence and oppress. This provides more reason to carry out reactionary violence to place radical ideals back into the spotlight.

What seems to be more essential to preventing future attacks on our politicians is the

de-escalation of our rhetoric within politics and society.

Over the past decade, discourse surrounding political issues has moved from a position of relative mutual understanding to an environment of combat defined by the hatred that all sides have towards one another.

The motivation behind Amess’ murder is not yet clear, but Cox was certainly a victim of this dangerous rhetoric. Her killer latched onto the combative nature of the discourse surrounding Brexit and used it as justification to commit a horrendous crime.

This is the true effect that our

political rhetoric can have, not only on the safety of politicians but also, in Cox’s and Amess’ cases, the lives of parents to children and family to loved ones.

Ultimately, our politicians need to be protected not only as people in positions of power, but also as citizens of a democracy.

Shutting down certain avenues of disagreement and discourse, however, is not reliable enough to provide this protection. Instead, a more compassionate and less adversarial political environment is key in preventing attacks on our representatives as well as our democratic values.

(Number 10 via Flickr)

Durham’s spiking epidemic: where do we go from here?

Eunice Wu It’s a Friday and you’re on a night out, the music is subpar but the vibes are good. You haven’t left your Jägerbomb unattended and you’ve been vigilant about who approaches your circle. An hour or so later you feel dizzy and incapacitated, a wave of nausea washes over you and your friends escort you home. The next morning you wake up only to be told “don’t get spiked” by the University.

The campaign has since been cancelled, but its slogan has shown a disregard to victims of drink spiking, particularly following the increase in relevant incidents across Durham during freshers’ week. It fed into the twisted ideology that victims, usually women, are to be blamed for such incidents. It’s true that we should be taught preventive measures, but there’s an equal, or

even greater, need for education on respect and consent.

Clubs are meant to be a temporary escape, they’re a space free of judgment from others. Spiking removes all of that, adding labels like “danger” or “fear” to clubs in the minds of those who have been victims or are repelled from clubs due to recent reports.

It’s never your fault if you fall victim to spiking I personally have since felt unsafe within the community, especially about the notion of clubbing. If I am out for a big social, I try to have my boyfriend with me to watch my back. We went to a club event a week prior to freshers’ and I became very disoriented after a single drink. If he hadn’t been there to accompany me home, I would’ve been left in a very vulnerable position. I’ve also learnt from others’ accounts that perpetrators attack regardless of

who you’re with — you could be surrounded by a whole football team and still be targeted. It’s a sad reality, but having someone there by your side in case you need support is extremely crucial to your safety.

In the wake of this, a number of student-led campaigns and groups have been set up to protect people from drink spiking. Urban Angels Durham is a Facebook community for women and nonbinary people to share safety tips and experiences with each other. There’s also a Durham Anti-Spiking Forum which allows people to give live reports of incidents around the area to increase general awareness.

More recently, the Durham Night In movement is calling for a boycott of all Durham nightclubs, as a response to the lack of action being taken by clubs to curb spiking.

I’m really happy with the push for conversation about this issue and the safety of women in Durham, but the fact that all of

the above are student-led directly spotlights how little the decisionmaking parties are doing.

According to PalatinateTV’s report on the issue, a victim was directed to the hospital by the police, only to be informed that blood tests for drink spiking were not available there, having waited three hours. Victims sometimes decline reporting as they believe that nothing will be done regarding the case, or that the toxic substances have long left their bloodstream. With blood tests being time-sensitive, making these more accessible in Durham should be a top priority to ensure the victim’s protection and re-establish faith in the system.

Remember it’s never your fault, if you fall victim to spiking.

Society holds the archaic view of victim blaming: women are catcalled because of the way they dress, women are attacked because they haven’t taken the well-lit route, and now women are spiked because they don’t

look at their drinks 24/7. That is not to say men are never victims, however, women are statistically shown to be more prone to such incidences.

I hope that the Durham Night In movement can further increase awareness of the issue and amplify the students’ voices so that they can be heard by nightclubs operating in the area.

Clubs should conduct more thorough security checks on any personnel that enter the location, and be able to produce working CCTV footage in case they’re needed as evidence. With Durham being a university city, a lot of these clubs‘ traffic comes from Durham students, so it doesn’t make sense for clubs to put us at risk.

I know there’s a community among Durham students dedicated to increasing awareness. It’s going to be a long road. However, I hope that the efforts right now to prevent further spiking incidences won’t go to waste.

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Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

Comment

Second chance: should second years be prioritised?

Pearl Cheng

The heavy doors creak open. I gingerly slip my way through, taking a quick look as the lecture hall expands in front of me.

Rows and aisles stare back, now rapidly being filled up by groups of chattering students. From the corner of my eye, I spot an empty seat in the far end. Here we go, I think nervously to myself as I take a deep breath and walk over. I sit myself down next to three girls in the middle of a lively conversation. “Hello,” I say.

“Nice to meet you. What are your names?”

Bubbling with eagerness to return to in-person teaching In any other year, this could easily be a description of a fresher’s first week. But no, this is 2021, where the pandemic continues to leave dark traces on our lives, despite a gradual return to normality. I’m a student in second year, and the scene described above is a snapshot from my first lecture. A week characterised by a bubbling eagerness to return to in-person teaching, yet also one that was at times mired with a vague sense of isolation and loss.

Yet this is only part of the unusual second year experience.

These scenes and the feelings

that come with it occasionally rear their head in other areas of university life too. A few of my conversations with people in the first week began with, “You look familiar!”, to which I heartily responded was probably due to a shared tutorial last year.

I remember when our cohort found out that the freshers in my department would be having a dinner event. Jokes about pretending to be freshers started to pop up in the group chat. The light-hearted jokes and exclamations of recognition perhaps signify something deeper: a sense of loss over university experiences and isolation from others who shared the same highs and lows over the past year.

This has been a product of the pandemic and the havoc of the last eighteen months. For current second years, this meant that opportunities to meet others from college and on the same course during first year were very limited, and that large parts of the university experience, such as in person lectures, were unavailable. Coupled with the fact that most second years have chosen to live out this year, away from the community structure that college provides, it has been harder to pick up a sense of connection with people and university life.

Efforts have been made to improve the situation. To my knowledge, some departments have held receptions for returners, where students mingle

with each other over glasses of wine. A few colleges have held events aimed at returners, such as formals. These have been amazing opportunities to bond with people, and friendships have been built from exchanging contact details, to competing to see who could drink more glasses of prosecco.

This second year experience remains unusal Yet for many others, these events have not happened.

Rather, the process of shaking off the sense of isolation and loss has become a bottom-up, organic one, occurring slowly in the tiny moments of the week,

such as during the few minutes of conversation before the lecturer begins, or a small wave of recognition when crossing the road.

And in a way, these small moments have accumulated. As a friend remarked to me over lunch, “it gets better each week.”

Writing as I enter my third week, lectures are no longer a jumbled setting to meet new people, and interactions have gone from a “You look familiar!”, to a genuine conversation about each other’s day. The attention devoted to freshers dinner events have moved on, and there have been fewer jokes about pretending to be freshers as well. Bit by bit, everyone seems to be learning to find their place in their own way.

Yet for all that is taking place, this year’s second year experience remains unusual. After all, there is no erasing the fact that some university experiences, such as fresher dinner events, cannot be re-experienced, and social circles still need time and space to be built. Under this unique situation that many second years find themselves in, I am grateful for all the support that has been given, and for the courage to grow back under such trying conditions. Yet I also hope that more attention is given to these circumstances, and further efforts, such as returners’ receptions and formals, can be made to help everyone integrate and experience the full range of university life again.

(Anna Pycock)

Student loans: a legacy of issues for the Tories?

George Simms Throughout my years in the British education system, I was comprehensively told that without a university education, I may as well consign myself to a life grunting “would you like fries with that?” In an ever-increasingly competitive job market, a university degree was simply a fundamental tenet of any job application.

It was regularly suggested that the point of a degree was not to actually learn, but rather to have a ‘standard of education’ to highlight to any future employer that you were a functioning member of society. Education was about the grades you could show-off at the end, not the knowledge you’d actually gained in the process. Enjoying what you studied was irrelevant if it got you that shiny piece of paper and £60,000 debt at the end of it.

The Government’s proposal to lower the repayment threshold for student finance from earning £27,250 to £23,000 is a clear sign that Nadhim Zahawi, amongst others, has decided that vocational training and apprenticeships are the way forward.

It will hit the lowest earners disproportionately hard The move towards vocational and apprenticeship-based training is something I am in favour of. However, the Government is attempting to enforce it in as heavy-handed and duplicitous a way as possible. Rather than attempting to highlight the benefits of vocational training to the next generation, they are punishing those who already have a university education.

Lowering the threshold to this level will increase what most post-2012 graduates are paying by around £400. It will also hit

the lowest earners disproportionately hard, as the interest on their payments continues to rise the longer it takes them to pay it off. Higher earners, who are less affected by the repayments in the first place, will have to pay less interest, as they will be paying off the loans at a far quicker rate. When the large proportion of graduates, who don’t earn over £30,000 individually, are still paying off their student loans in thirty years, the regular payments will be a helpful reminder of this broken contract, a basic betrayal of good will.

Whilst a lot of people, particularly university graduates, commonly turn to the Conservative party at around the age of 30, this could no longer be the case because these payments may have such a significant financial impact. As Martin Lewis argued recently, the lowering of the threshold could lead to a fertility crisis. Most of our generation hold the mindset that we will wait for a basic level of life security before we choose to have

children. Lower salaries due to loan repayments will mean this life security could come later, so we wait later to have children. At some point, biology could then intervene, and our generation may have waited too long.

A similar situation applies to housing. We are already part of ‘Generation Rent’ and lowering the threshold certainly will not help to change that any time soon. The less money we have, the less we can save, and the less likely it is we ever start climbing the property ladder. Data from the last few elections has demonstrated a clear Labour tendency for renters and a clear Tory tendency for homeowners.

It’s not unreasonable to suggest that moving forwards the more renters there are, the fewer Conservative voters there will be.

Since student loans and paying for university education were enforced, a university education became the norm, a necessity, if you’d like a decent job.

However, because everyone now has a degree, and an imposingly

large pile of debt behind it, both the degree, and the debt, are far more of a burden than a privilege.

Now, we’re saddled with debt and useless degrees. The next generation will be more likely to focus on apprenticeships and vocational training, until the Education Secretary pushes the focus back to degrees. Put bluntly, the £2 billion the Government are rumoured to be saving by lowering the threshold means little, especially considering the time it will take to come into effect on the Government’s plan to ‘level up’ Britain, as fewer graduates can afford to live in London, and so move to cheaper areas in search of security.

However, for the most part the proposed change is hamfisted and may well come back to bite the Conservatives. The more graduates that cannot afford to buy houses and have children, the fewer Tory voters there will be moving forwards.

Something might finally stick to this Teflon-coated Government.

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

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Comment

The Queen: a climate change activist in the making?

Hannah Redman This week, the Queen has been using her position to criticise the lack of meaningful government action on climate change — well, indirectly at least.

At the opening of the Welsh government, the Queen was overheard speaking to a Parliament officer about how “irritating” it is when international governments “talk, but they don’t do” when it comes to the pressing matter of saving the world from climate change. It’s hardly an impassioned political rant like we see from climate change activist groups like Extinction Rebellion, but it is certainly the most direct comment that the Queen has made about an issue in decades.

The context of this conversation was regarding the Queen’s apparent disdain at the lack of commitment international leaders seem to be making to attend the upcoming COP26 climate summit in Glasgow. Many of the largest carbon-emitting countries have yet to return their RSVP for the event, including the Russian President Vladimir Putin,

Chinese President Xi Jinping, and Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, to name a few; and the Queen is not happy. This is abundantly evident from the conversation footage.

The UK is woefully ill-equipped to deal with bad flooding and drought events It is unusual, perhaps even unheard of, for the Queen to contribute her two-penneth on political issues such as these, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Her stance on the summit is less surprising, however, given her longstanding commitment to international relations in the form of her connections and support to the Commonwealth countries — that were, of course, former states of the British Empire. Even though the history of the creation of the Commonwealth is problematic at best, the Queen has arguably dedicated her reign to promoting this international cooperation and improving the lives of the peoples of these countries.

Given that many Commonwealth countries are located in Africa

or the Caribbean, they are particularly vulnerable to the climatic consequences of the Earth’s warming atmosphere, which explains the Queen’s heightened awareness of the imperative to sort out the politics of climate change.

That, and with recent reports from the Environment Agency that the UK is woefully ill-equipped to deal with the prospect of both increasingly bad flooding and drought events, shows that we all need to take this seriously. As the figurehead of the nation, I believe it is incredibly poignant that the Queen has spoken out about the imperative for politicians to take action on climate change now – whether she meant for it to be in the public domain, or not.

As with many aspects of the monarchy, measured action is a family trait – and the issue of climate change is no exception to this unspoken rule. Next up: Prince Charles, who has been a longstanding advocate for taking climate change seriously (even if his Aston Martin fuelled by ‘spare English wine’ is a little on the funny side). Like his mother, the Prince of Wales believes that the COP26 summit is the world’s “last chance saloon” to solve the problem of global climate change,

though unlike his mother, he has commented on the inaction of politicians more overtly.

When the Queen talks, people listen And now even Prince William has taken up the baton of advocating for action on climate change, with his recent announcement of the Earthshot prize delivered by the Royal Foundation. Not only that, but the Duke of Cambridge went for the international political jugular

in a recent interview, when he criticised the so-called billionaire space race of late, saying “We need some of the world’s greatest brains and minds fixed on trying to repair this planet, not trying to find the next place to go and live.”

What a refreshing change to see the royal family uniting their efforts, and their powerful voice, to advocate for the vitality of the COP26 summit — when the Queen talks, people listen. Even if that is through overhearing her conversation.

(Rosie Bromiley)

Fertility seminars: women are not just wombs Maddie Whitaker The freshly appointed President at Cambridge University’s Murray Edwards college, Dorothy Byrne, recently announced via an article in The Times her intent to introduce fertility seminars at the college. These will supposedly teach the students to plan to start a family by their mid-30s, unless they want to risk ending up childless. Byrne is concerned that women increasingly “forget to have a baby”, due to being pushed to excel professionally, which she proclaims she herself experienced.

Byrne’s take on the perception of maternity is frankly baffling Murray Edwards College is one of the last three bastions of women’s colleges in the United Kingdom. These students have reached the height of academic rigour. Yet, while this proposal is clearly something Byrne is passionate about, and is one of the first initiatives she has instigated as President, the suggestion that women are ‘forgetting’ to have

(Cmglee via Creative Commons) children is insulting to all women, not just those at Murray Edwards.

One only needs to consider the difference in the lexical meanings between ‘spinster’ and ‘bachelor’, to glean a sense of the cultural expectations placed on women throughout their lives to have children. Women’s fertility is impossible for them to forget. From phrases like ‘ticking biological clock’, to Bridget Jones’ dramatic fertility anxieties, down to how young girls are socialised to care for baby dolls, the cultural canon today consists of fodder which constantly reminds women

of the need to have children.

In making this proposal, Byrne is adding to the societal onus put on women, not only that they need to have children, but the expectation it should also dominate their priorities.

The most dangerous implication from Byrne’s proposal is not that she is endorsing motherhood, but that it intimates to the women of Murray Edwards that while they may have reached the highest echelons of university education, their intellectual achievements are secondary in importance to attaining the ultimate goal —

motherhood.

She also confusingly claims it “has become almost forbidden” to talk about “courting”, or ask women when they plan to have a baby. For this to come from the former head of news at Channel 4 is concerning, as her worldview seems extremely warped. While the word “courting” may not be in the everyday vernacular, women are constantly asked about their dating life, and it was wellpublicised in 2019 when more people applied to Love Island than Cambridge.

Byrne’s take on the perception of maternity is frankly baffling.

Byrne talks as if most women don’t want to have children, which is blatantly not the case.

She further incises that “we have swung too far one way” towards prioritising women’s careers over motherhood. The falling birth rate she evidences this fact with, cannot simply be explained by women not wanting to have children.

This screams of a personal and misguided effort Most importantly, the proposed fertility classes ignore that having children isn’t just a personal choice, it is an economic one.

Nevertheless, patriarchal societal structures do not invite women to have children in the professional world.

Unfortunately, gendered bias and discrimination persist in professional spheres. Yet Byrne ignores that the main reason women are having children later is not because they are forgetting, but due to socio-economic factors.

The fact remains that women’s biological and career clocks do not exist in a happy synchronicity, but as Murray Edwards is an allwomen’s college, the proposed classes inevitably and glaringly leave men out of the equation, despite patriarchal professional structures being the realm where change is most needed. Our society already prohibits women from excelling in their careers.

Feminism needs cultural shifts, and we need people in positions of power, like Byrne, to be forcing positive change.

Ultimately, this screams of a personal and misguided effort, and one can only hope these classes will either be stopped, or that their design undergoes a radical change in tone and structure. Byrne’s proposed classes seem at best obsolete, and at worst a disturbingly dystopian decision to come from one of Cambridge’s colleges.

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Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

Profile

Jeremy Vine: “It’s amazing how angry people get!”

Profile speaks to veteran broadcaster and former Hatfielder Jeremy Vine about football ownership, cycling in Durham, and Britain being more heated up than ever Paul Ray Profile Editor Sat in a little room in South College, directly above Durham’s newest college bar, Jeremy Vine was talking to me about cycling.

“I love cycling. My daughter’s 17, right, so she might come to Durham next year if she’s lucky, if she gets in. And if she got into South College, I think the ideal thing would be to cycle, because she’d do English, so if you’re studying English and you’re at South, or Grey, or Van Mildert or Hild Bede, the obvious thing is to cycle, because why would you want to walk 25 minutes?

“But the problem is with cycling here is that you’ve got to go down South Road, and South Road needs sorting out! I mean, I’m looking at it thinking… I don’t know what the speed limit is, but there’s people going 50 [mph] on it. The pavement isn’t wide enough, and it seems to me that the council need to get stuck into this. They’ve got to make a safe cycling route on South Road.”

Perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise that our 15 minute conversation traversed a variety of everyday topics, rather than sticking to the common

themes of Brexit and Covid-19.

Since 2003, the Durham alumnus has presented the main lunchtime show on BBC Radio 2, taking calls from ordinary people as well as interviewing prominent politicians (and playing 70s pop music, of course). Vine has become an expert in picking out and chewing over issues that matter to ordinary people; one such recent issue here in the North East was the Saudi takeover of Newcastle United. The presenter received considerable pushback on Twitter for asking if any Geordies were considering switching support to bitter rivals Sunderland to protest against their new owners’ dubious human rights record.

“People who drive cars are the minority, and they’re unbelievably selfish.”

“I thought I would ask a stupid question, and it got some pretty angry answers. I wasn’t expecting the blowback. Twitter is violent at the moment, my God! I then apologised for the question, so I’m hoping I’ll be forgiven. I don’t think there’s a single Newcastle fan, who’s -- well actually that’s not true, I was going to say who’s not still supporting the team. I spoke to one on Friday who said he won’t support them anymore because of the Saudi money, but most will just be delighted they’re going to have a good manager and have good players.”

I was curious to hear Vine’s own views on the

(Durham Union)

matter, which has seemed to divide fans and media analysts quite starkly. “It’s so difficult. The thing is, I support Chelsea, and we were taken over by Roman Abramovich, and that means, to describe it in

the most positive way possible, that we’ve got the benefit of a lot of privatised Russian oil and gas, and that’s a fairly positive reading of this. And you know what, the amount of time I spend thinking about that in a guilty way per match can be measured in seconds, because I’m watching Kante, and Jorginho, and Lukaku, and what a team, you know.

“It’s funny, I pay a thousand pounds a year for my season ticket, and for that I’m probably watching £300m worth of players, and I’m paying £50 a game. That’s quite a good trade.

And I should say the answer is yes, they can be happy, and they just. It’s one of those weird things, I think when there’s a moment when Britain cuts its links with Saudi Arabia, takes sanctions out on it, stops selling it arms, and generally says they’re having no diplomatic relations, at that point maybe Newcastle can think again, but not yet.”

“Is that what we’re doing to each other?”

As a presenter who broadcasts live for four hours every weekday, on television on Channel 5 and on radio on Radio 2, Vine is no stranger to dealing with controversy and backlash from things said live on air. One such incident happened a few weeks ago on his TV show, when outspoken guest Mike Parry declared that “minorities must be squashed,” in the context of a tirade against climate group Insulate Britain blocking roads.

(Parry soon issued a statement insisting that he was only talking about disruptive protest groups, not minority groups in society.)

I asked Vine if he thought the severe blowback from the incident was justified.

“I think it was one of those unfortunate moments… for me, I’ve got to ask myself as the presenter what my role is there, and my role is to challenge or get it clarified. But funnily enough, where I fell down was I was looking to the guest next to me, Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, who’d been in a long running argument with Mike Parry during that show, about almost everything.

And she didn’t react. So when she didn’t react, I didn’t react. And as a result, I feel I let Mike down a bit there, because I didn’t get him to clarify it. And we were talking about the M25 protesters, and he said minorities have to be

squashed. And when you take that particular phrase out, it just is a disaster. It looked terrible. So, it’s one of those things, you know, if you do as I do four hours live a day, every day, 20 hours live a week, you’ve got to be quite good at catching stuff, and I missed that.”

Britain, and indeed the whole world, has changed a lot in the 18 years since Vine became the voice of Radio 2 at midday. I wanted to know how the show’s phone calls from ordinary members of the public have exhibited this change.

“Is that what we’re doing to each other?”

Have the calls become more politically vehement, more emotionally charged, in the past few years? Or has Britain always been wound up?

“I think we are more divided, and we’re more inclined to argue with each other. That’s not a bad thing, it’s better to have an argument than a war. So a lot of the frustrations that we have on this tiny island are mediated through argument, verbally, which I suppose is okay. We’ve moved away from an illiberal thing, maybe in the 90s or 00s if someone in public life was gay, you’d have people ringing up and being angry about it. We’ve moved away from that, thankfully.”

I suggest that maybe this illiberal attitude towards gay people has merely been shifted towards trans people. Vine doesn’t seem comfortable engaging there: “I’m not sure about that.” He’s clearly choosing his words carefully. “In terms of tolerance for people with different sexualities etc, I think there’s an enormous amount, so I think the audience has got kinder. Where I think it’s changed is when you hit the culture wars thing. So, when you hit stuff to do with what’s described as benefits scrounging, or when you hit Brexit is the classic example. And actually, funnily enough, Covid became a culture war, because Covid became about the state being allowed to tell us to put a vaccine in our arms, or wear a mask, and so on. So all of that just becomes so heated... God!” he exclaims, seemingly dazed by the phenomenon he’s describing.

“Hammer and tongs! It’s amazing how angry people get!

“But you know, in my own

little world I see it on my road.

Somebody has to stop for me at the lights and they wind their window down and shout abuse, and I’m thinking ‘is that what we’re all doing to each other, you know, we’re just shouting abuse at each other now?’”

Eventually, of course, Brexit did come up. We were talking about BBC impartiality, and the criticism it receives for its interpretation and execution of this impartiality.

I put to Vine comments recently made by Jolyon Maugham in his interview with Palatinate (across), where he claimed that it was a democratic outrage that the BBC applied a ‘both sides’ approach to Boris Johnson’s prorogation (suspension) of Parliament in September 2019.

Vine wasn’t having any of it.

“I think that’s not a great example, with respect, because the proroguing of Parliament issue to me was about whether Parliament was going to be allowed to override Brexit, the Brexit vote, and so that’s the other democratic issue. And so there’s definitely two sides to that one. I think the better impartiality example is climate change, where for a while we did have a ‘scientist versus Nigel Lawson’ type of thing, so we had a scientist versus someone who was angry about [the acceptance of climate change], and that’s not a good mix. But the BBC did get into the right position on that.”

“I mean, it is really difficult, impartiality, there’s no question about it, because some things are 50/50, other things are 80/20, some things are right and wrong, but it often seems like in all things we’ve got two people in the studio arguing against each other. So, I think you never get to a perfect position, and we’re learning all the time. A good example of it is my campaigning on cycling; I don’t really know whether I’m breaking BBC impartiality on it.

I’m assuming I’m not, because basically all I’m trying to do is to stay alive. But can I campaign on climate change, would that be alright? Because the BBC accepts that climate change is happening, could I campaign for a greener planet? That sounds OK, but what if my campaign says that everyone needs to change their boiler next year, then all my listeners would get cross. So it’s really difficult, and I think the key thing to understand is that the BBC has never claimed to have solved it.”

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PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

Profile

Jolyon Maugham QC: Is there anything this Government could do that would cause universal outrage?

Profile speaks to the director of the Good Law Project about alleged fraud in pandemic contracts, the 2019 suspension of parliament, and how to be a good law student Paul Ray Profile Editor When I spoke with Durham alumnus Jolyon Maugham, he didn’t speak to me in phrases or sentences, he spoke to me in paragraphs. As director of the legal-activist campaign group Good Law Project, his knowledge of the Government’s rocky relationship with legal transparency seems almost encyclopedic. We began our discussion with the issue of the Government’s alleged awarding of pandemic contracts, such as supply of personal protective equipment, to friends and political allies.

“At a fairly general level, what happens in times of emergency is that normal processes that secure value for public money — secure that bad shit doesn’t happen — get put aside. So you’re always focused on the outcome we need for stuff; we need it yesterday, let’s not do anything that’s going to slow us down. And that putting aside of process creates opportunities for bad actors to do bad acts. In legal philosophy there’s a term for that, which is a state of exception. And what should happen after the event is that investigators should look through what happened and identify the bad actors, and hold them to account, and punish them.”

“What we’re learning now are two things. Firstly, that the Conservative Party took advantage of that state of exception to enrich its donors and associates and friends, and possibly even itself,” Maugham alleges. “And that there is no real interest in unpicking any of that, there’s no real interest in going back through what happened throughout the course of the pandemic to identify where there were properly wrongful acts.

The notion that there might be, or indeed there very likely is, fraud in pandemic procurement, is not unique to the UK — it will happen all over the world. What’s troubling, I suppose, is that in the UK alone there is no interest in investigating it on the part of the authorities. So GLP has made a complaint to the Serious Fraud Office about a particular transaction, and as far as I can see, we made that complaint three or four months ago – it could not be

less interested.”

One of the reasons Maugham’s name might be known beyond insular legal circles is the role he played in disputing and fighting Boris Johnson’s attempted prorogation of Parliament in September 2019. Prorogation is an antiquated term for ending a parliamentary session, effectively suspending it and preventing MPs from debating and voting.

Some people argue that Johnson’s attempt to do this was an attempt by the Prime Minister to prevent elected MPs from forcing him to request an extension to Britain’s stay in the EU. I ask Maugham how much warning he had to prepare for his ultimately successful legal challenge to the prorogation.

“The possibility of Parliament being prorogued was beginning to be raised by serious voices, as I recall, in June and July of 2019.

And we were quite worried about it, I took it very seriously […] I had a mole inside the political decision-making apparatus of the Conservative Party, who got message to me that prorogation was going to take place. And this was four or five days before it actually happened, and that information was interesting, but didn’t have a profound impact on our strategy, because I’d seen much earlier in the summer that this was a realistic possibility.”

It often seems to me like we rarely hear about Johnson’s prorogation attempt anymore, which upon reflection might be a little surprising, given the amount of media and legal attention, emotive argumentation, and political capital the issue devoured at the time. Maugham shared my surprise.

“It was a really striking moment for me, actually, at the time, when the Prime Minister shutting down the only democratically elected part of Government because it was inconvenient to him, the most shockingly autocratic act that a supposed democrat could commit, was both-sided by the media. So the BBC had on people saying ‘it’s totally fine to shut down the House of Commons, nothing to see here’. And there weren’t many commentators who had the moral courage to say that which was obviously true, which was that this is an affront to democracy.

“And I don’t want to get terribly Orwellian about any of this, but I did think at the time […] if the

BBC would ‘both sides’ this, what would they not ‘both sides’? What issue, what thing could the Prime Minister do that the BBC would not struggle to defend? And it made me very conscious, I think, of how fragile our democracy is.

“When I was contemplating before it happened the possibility of prorogation, I thought it would be the end of democracy, because a prime minister who could set aside Parliament as inconvenient, and the courts not having jurisdiction — which is what all the clever people were saying, that a court would not have the jurisdiction to undo the Prime Minister’s act – would mean that the day after a general election, the Prime Minister could prorogue Parliament, and only unprorogue it the day before the next

(Jolyon Maugham) general election. And what would be left, then, of parliamentary democracy?

“And in a way, the same impulse that caused people then to ‘both sides’ it, causes them now to treat it as being that which it was not. It causes them to treat it as just part and parcel of just the everyday run of the mill handling of politics, rather than a democratic outrage. And in

a way, it should cause thoughtful people to ask that same question, which is… is there anything that this Government could do that would cause the media to erupt in genuine outrage? A lot of serious political commentators have written weighty tomes on how democracies die, and the prorogation experience and in particular the reaction of broader civil society to the prorogation merits one of the longer chapters in an account of how democracy dies.”

An outspoken critic of Britain’s withdrawal from the EU, I ask Maugham whether he sees any domestic political will for reintegration into the EU at any point in the near future, perhaps especially in the Labour Party.

“Yeah, I mean I understand why you ask that question, but it’s a little bit like that question ‘who do you want to succeed Keir Starmer as leader of the Labour Party?’ and there then follows a long list of people, none of whom you’ve ever heard of. It’s very difficult to imagine a world that no one is talking about, but that doesn’t mean that that world is unimaginable, it just means that someone needs to start talking about it. So the answer to your question is no, no one is talking about joining the single market as an EFTA state, but I can certainly see a world in which it begins to quickly acquire political resonance as we learn more about the realities of life outside the EU.”

Maugham’s Good Law Project isn’t only in the business of taking the government to task. This year the organisation has taken on the mantle of defending the rights of trans adolescents to begin medically transitioning.

One of the key court cases has been Bell v Tavistock, which saw the High Court declare under 16s and some over 16s incapable of consenting to puberty blockers.

The Court of Appeal recently overturned this decision. I asked

Maugham how much damage this decision has done to Britain’s trans community. “[The Bell decision] was actually not that significant.

And it’s not that significant because the damage that Bell in the Divisional Court did wasn’t damage to the ability of trans adolescents to access puberty blockers, because they couldn’t access them through the NHS anyway. The damage that the decision of the Divisional Court did in Bell to the dignity of the trans community was to centre, in the place of notional independence and authority, the views of a bunch of cranks.

“You know, the experts that the Divisional Court centred were not experts in the term in which any lawyer understands experts, i.e. people coming from a general body of medical expertise. They sat outside that general body of medical expertise. And by centring that crank view at the heart of the debate, in a way which resonated with a regrettably transphobic media, the Divisional Court did enormous damage. The Court of Appeal is enormously critical of the Divisional Court for that exercise, and that ought to be enough.

“But it only actually is enough if newspapers report that the Court of Appeal is as critical as it was of the Divisional Court. And they haven’t, they’ve ignored the decision of the Court of Appeal [...] It’s just been ignored. And so the cultural damage the Divisional Court did, I regret to say, has survived the decision of the Court of Appeal.”

Over the past few decades, Maugham has risen from Durham law undergraduate to QC, the apex of a lawyer’s career. I ended our discussion by asking him how Durham law students can make the most of their degree “To students who want to become good lawyers, I would say the process of becoming a lawyer is a process in culturalisation, which means it’s not really about what you learn about the law, it’s about learning to think like a lawyer thinks. And the best way to learn how to think like a good lawyer thinks is actually not to bury your head in the textbooks, it’s to read the cases. Try and read a case every day, make sure you understand the bit in the beginning where the advocates talk about the arguments, make sure you understand everything in the judgement. And that is a much, much, much better way to become a great lawyer than

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

14

A spooky science feature

(Walter Smith, Flickr)

SciTech Halloween

Frankenstein: the science of reanimation Natasha Judson-Richardson It’s not just on a dreary night in November that science fiction can come close to reality. Mary Shelley’s most famous novel Frankenstein depicts a man so obsessed with life and death that he tries to make life from the remains of cadavers. The endeavours Shelley envisioned may not be so far from modern day scientific accomplishment.

From organ transplants to the restoration of activity to dead brains, the question on everyone’s thoughts is will it ever be possible to create Frankenstein’s creature?

Frankenstein has become a common term associated with anything from genetically modified foods to organ transplants. When the first heart transplant was completed in 1967, the first words said to be uttered by the receiver, Louis Washkansky, were ‘I am the new F r a n k e n s t e i n .’

Some say they were said by the surgeon instead, Christian Bannard, but either way the association between Shelley’s extraordinary novel and research into human organs has always been significant.

deceased, and the restoration was assisted using a machine, BrainEx, which encouraged fluids and oxygen to flow back through the cells. BrainEx acts as a pump to supply the brain cells with a fluid similar to blood.

BrainEx [...] supplies the brain cells with a fluid similar to blood The team managed to identify signs of tissue function in the cells that had previously been decaying. This was seen through the diffusion of bloodlike fluid into the smallest capillaries, then the cells

were observed to respond to a drug as living tissue is known to act. Thus, the experiment demonstrated cellular function could be restored after death.

Scientists at Yale still insisted this is ‘not a living brain,’ and while this is still a far call from the assemblage of multiple body parts into a new being, it does allow multiple avenues of research. There are applications for the treatment of heart attack suffers and the study of brain disorders and brain diseases, for

example.

A central theme of Frankenstein is morality and, as with any groundbreaking research, the reanimation of the brain cells does raise ethical questions on the definition of death and the extent to which BrainEx could be used to restore brain activity, as well as the use of animals in their research. The Yale team insist that they are not attempting to restore consciousness in dead brains and took steps to prevent this. Instead, their focus is investigating the brains activities and structure.

The reanimation of these cells is still a far call from the creature Mary

The endeavours Shelley envisioned may not be so far from modern scientific accomplishment In 2019, the concept of reanimating life was taken close to reality when scientists from the Yale University School of Medicine were able to revive function on a cellular level in 32 pig brains.

The pig brains were acquired from animals who were already

(Anna Kuptsova)

Shelley imagined, though this is not the first-time scientists have tried to preserve tissue after death. At the Rockefeller Institute for Medical Research, Alexis Carrel worked on maintaining small tissue samples in petri dishes by supplying them with oxygen and nutrients. He was even rumoured to have kept a chick’s heart tissue alive after death. The focus of Carrel’s work was investigating a way to grow organs artificially for transplantation. A concept that is even beyond the creativity of Frankenstein, but today is very much a reality.

The focus of Carrel's work was investigating a way to grow organs artifically Teklesenbet Beyene was the first man to receive a windpipe transplant grown from stem cells in 2011. The creation of new organs from stem cells is not the same as reanimating dead cells, the Franken concept of creating from nothing is an ever-growing field. Could these grown organs ever be considered the same as those we are born with, or are we just creating many new variations of ourselves?

So, while the answer to the question of are we able to create Frankenstein’s creature is still a strong no, the reality of distinguishing between the nature of life and death is not so clear cut in biology. Cells, tissues, and organs are just one part of the equation of creating life, and the part they play in conscience and sentience are just as debatable as when Shelley first questioned it in 1818. It is uncertain if other cells could similarly be revived after death, but if brain cells are only the start it is impossible to say what other organs could be revived long after the tissue has died.

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

15

SciTech

Hunting monsters with Turing tests Cameron Scott Halloween is upon us and monsters manifest in the mind.

Whether it’s zombies, ghosts, killer clowns or demonically possessed babies that provide the horror, people sleep soundly at night due to one reassuring fact — these monsters are undoubtably fictional. Another common horror trope is a malicious artificial intelligence (AI) intent on causing harm. Here, the distinction between fiction and reality begins to blur. Could you quite so assuredly apply the label of fiction to 2001: A Space Odyssey’s HAL as Dracula?

It is easy to ask yourself – “Can computers actually think?"

Humans interact increasingly often with AIs in their daily lives. You may be woken by an Alexa alarm, and then decide to browse Amazon and be directed to recommended products by their algorithms. In our world, computers complete progressively more complicated tasks. When you read articles

about an AI defeating the world champion at Go, it is easy to ask yourself — “Can computers actually think?”.

Alan Turing asked the same question in 1950. Computers were being used in ever more complicated tasks. This inevitably led to the question of intelligence. To focus the debate, Turing devised a test.

The Turing test is simple to state: a human ‘interrogator’ writes questions and passes them to an unseen recipient. The recipient then provides the written response, and it is the task of the interrogator to decide whether the recipient is a human or a computer.

In a modern incarnation of the test, the questions and responses can be mediated through a screen, as if the interrogator were messaging a friend. Turing surmised that if a computer can deceive the interrogator and produce human-like responses, it should be regarded as having some form of intelligence.

Of course, this test is not the useful benchmark for detecting intelligence that it purports to be and Turing himself recognized this. He understood the distinction between the

appearance of thought and the existence of thought. Indeed, this contradiction was also discussed a century earlier by Ada Lovelace, who reflected upon 'programmable machines' that perform many seemingly intelligent tasks, but do not produce original thoughts themselves.

The problem of identifying intelligence is exemplified in Searle’s Chinese Room Argument.

Imagine that you are in a room containing nothing but an English to Mandarin dictionary and a note with the instruction to ‘translate’. A note is entered into the room with an English phrase.

You find the relevant symbols in the dictionary and produce the correct output.

Crucially, you know nothing of Mandarin, but to the person outside the room who receives the translation, they convince themselves that the room understands the language perfectly. This is a simplified version of the argument, but it gets at the fundamental idea.

A computer cannot understand what it is doing if you are only assessing the output. This is what the Turing test does, so it is insufficient at assessing

This is incredibly problematic for the environment in many ways, especially in the context of heightened discussions around Net Zero and the upcoming COP26 conference. Firstly, food waste directly exacerbates climate change, as rotting food in landfills emit methane, a type of greenhouse gas that is much more harmful than carbon dioxide.

Importantly, wasting edible food also equates to wasting the water, energy, land and other resources that have gone into the production, transportation, processing and storage of that food, resulting in the colossal carbon footprint associated with food waste. According to a report

by WRAP, a leading sustainability charity, in 2019 carbon dioxide emissions linked to food thrown away in the UK was 36 million tonnes, roughly a quarter of total UK food system emissions that year. On a global scale, if food wastage were a country, it would come third after China and USA as the third largest greenhouse gas emitter. If we were to reduce the amount of edible food that’s thrown away in the UK, it would be equivalent to taking 2.4 million cars off the road for a year.

So how do we minimise our impact? As a consumer, the first step we should take is to plan our meals in advance and purchase only what we really need. We

should then make sure that we make the most of the leftover food, by saving them for another day or popping them in the freezer for longer term storage. Finally, you can divert food waste from local landfills by composting them or disposing of them in food waste collections.

intelligence.

(Thomas Tomlinson) Real life applications of the Turing test have demonstrated this. The Loebner Prize invites talented computer programmers to enter software to face a Turing test.

A set of ten judges act as interrogators and assess if responses are from genuine humans or charlatan chatbots.

As it stands, computers consistently pass the test, with the reigning champion being a piece of software named Mitsuku, developed by British developer Steve Worswick. The software consists of 350,000 distinct commands to produce natural language processing.

Computers consistently pass the Turing test The list of commands can be seen as a complicated version of Searle’s dictionary and, despite consistently fooling the judges, can not be said to demonstrate intelligence. Worswick himself states that a large part of the work is involved in disguising obvious giveaways, such as immediate and correct responses to numerical questions. Instead

of demonstrating intelligence, it showcases clever deceptions.

As we progress into the 21st century, a related problem may occur. Machine learning algorithms may be able to analyse collections of human data and produce convincing replicas.

Scammers could create more believable spam emails to defraud the vulnerable, or software could heighten the already extreme political tensions by producing deepfake videos of politicians saying something which they in fact never said.

So-called ‘reverse Turing tests’ are in development which could alleviate this issue. You have probably already encountered one such test in the form of CAPTCHAs. If you pass this test, you have successfully passed a reverse Turing test and convinced a computer that you are human.

Congratulations!

While apocalyptic visions of humanity being destroyed by intelligent machines may proliferate in cinema, hopefully the plucky humans of these stories come armed with an effective reverse Turing test. Even if they can’t assess the intelligence of their adversaries, they can stop them spamming their emails.

Rotting pumpkins a recipe for climate disaster

Hyeonji Kim As you walk into Tesco at Market Square, you are instantly greeted by piles of pumpkins which you can take home for only £1-2 per pumpkin. Alternatively, you might have even gone pumpkin picking with your friends and family for a fun bonding session. You can’t wait to start carving spooky faces on the pumpkins, but little did you know, the spookiest part of Halloween is in fact the monstrous amount of food waste from discarded pumpkins.

If food wastage were a country, it would come ... as the third largest greenhouse gas emitter According to recent research, it is estimated that roughly 14.5 million pumpkins will be discarded in the UK this year after they have been carved for Halloween. This is just under half of the total pumpkins that are estimated to be purchased for Halloween. This mountain of uneaten pumpkins contributes to the astonishing 6.6 million tonnes of food waste produced in UK households each year, an amount that can fill roughly 66,000 threebed terraced houses.

Pumpkins are not only delicious and highly nutritious...

If you have already stocked up on your pumpkins for this Halloween, fear not. Fortunately, pumpkins are not only delicious and highly nutritious,

but also incredibly versatile.

If you are in the mood for something sweet, try out the pumpkin pies, pumpkin muffins, or even pumpkin spice latte from homemade pumpkin puree.

Looking for something more savoury? Start with the classic pumpkin soup, and experiment with creamy pumpkin pasta, pumpkin curry, and my personal favourite — pumpkin stuffed ravioli.

For those seeking a lazier option, a basic side of roasted pumpkin is also a delightful companion to your weekend roast. Don’t forget that you can also eat the kernels; simply boil the seeds and

pop them in the oven to roast.

They are a great addition to your granola bowl or salad for that extra boost of vitamins and minerals. For those with cats or dogs, you’ll be glad to hear that cooked pumpkin is also a healthy snack for your furry friends (when given in moderation).

The often overlooked environmental impact of food waste calls us to make conscious decisions — not just for Halloween, but in our everyday life in general. This may seem trivial, but it’s the small changes that count. If each and every one of us act, together it will be a meaningful step towards tackling climate change.

(Elliar Cheung)

(Elliar Cheung)

16

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

SciTech

Is the universe a self-learning computer?

Eleni Mann The simulation hypothesis is a philosophical and scientific theory, which posits that life and the universe as we know it is generated from artificial intelligence.

Commonly referenced in jest and humour, the idea of us living in a simulation is one that is often bandied around as a conspiracy theory; a fantastical attempt to justify the laws that govern how the universe develops, an idea that seems so grounded in science fiction that it appears to be just that – fiction.

However, a recent research paper, developed by physicists supported by Microsoft, may be challenging the scepticism of the fundamental aspects of this hypothesis. Alongside other pioneering scientists, cosmologist and theoretical physicist Dr Stephon Alexander recently proposed an idea called the Autodidactic Universe. This suggests that the universe is selflearning and adapting through a self-taught system, similar to machine-learning algorithms.

The question ‘Why is our universe so special?’ often appears in discourse surrounding the formation and development of our universe. As Alexander discusses in his interview with NewScientist, if the laws and

forces that govern our universe were slightly different, everything would be different. Stars wouldn’t be able to burn hydrogen, carbon wouldn’t be produced, and life would simply be unable to exist in the way it does now.

Why is it that these laws of nature have emerged in the exact way we experience them? If a series of potential laws were equally as likely to be implemented, why are these laws the ones that were ‘chosen’?

The Autodidactic Universe theory aims to explain why the universe is the way it is, applying the physical laws of the universe to a matrix mathematical framework.

Our ability to learn is due to our capability to accumulate information that informs problem-solving decisions, building knowledge over a long period of time. If the universe is self-learning, it has the capability to develop itself and perpetuate through a changing series of laws. Analogous to machine-learning systems, the Autodidactic Universe theory describes a feedback system, where the beginning stages of universe development may have influenced the further stages, with the aim of reaching a more stable state.

The difference between a learning and evolving universe is

a key distinction. Evolution works through a process of ‘survival of the fittest’. An evolving universe would suggest that there are large numbers of universes, but only the ‘fittest’ survived.

A universe that is self-learning, however, would not go through this process. Instead, the Autodidactic Universe has the ability to store, in a matrix-type form, versions of itself, so when mistakes occur the consequences are stored as memory without acting out in real time. Moving forward through each iteration, the self-learning universe improves and stabilises, unidirectionally replacing older physical constants with improved and more suited laws of physics. This is a concept in itself that would have huge implications for the unification of physics if proven.

If true, this would suggest that the universe may have originated from humble beginnings, with simple interactions between particles that then gradually developed into the complex system we know our universe to currently be.

So, does this research add weighting to the argument that we all are living in a simulated reality?

Well, not quite. Although analogous to recent computing advances in neural networks, the theory only draws comparison

b e t w e e n artificial

intelligence systems and the development of the laws of physics. It would be a bold step to suggest that we are actually living in a computer, at least without further research being undertaken. Instead, Alexander explains that this theory doesn’t exclusively relate the universe to artificial intelligence. He describes the potential for some biological control on universe development.

Who’s to say a ‘superbrain’ type universe couldn’t also develop such complicated neural networks?

The conclusion to this research is that we still, in fact, do not know how the universe developed. However, the wide scope of theories surrounding

(Nicole Wu)

this topic, whether we are in fact the creation of a super computer or ‘superbrain’, opens the door to further development of a broader theory. By drawing comparison between physical theories and machine learning architectures, Alexander and his co-researchers have kickstarted an exciting new concept within theoretical physics.

It has by no means provided us with the answers, but instead started a fascinating discussion.

No place for homophobia on Earth, so why in space?

(Emerson Shams)

Eve Kirman In December, NASA is set to launch their most powerful telescope yet.

The James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) is argued by many to be “the next Hubble.” The telescope in question is hoped to shine a light on currently unobserved areas of the universe and perhaps uncover new habitable galaxies.

Sadly, this telescope is not making headlines for its ability to look deeper into the universe than any predecessor, but instead for the controversial figure for whom it is named.

James Webb was a civil servant in the U.S. Department of State during the presidency of Harry Truman. He is positively remembered for his work on overseeing the Apollo, Mariner and Pioneer space programs.

Conversely, however, his legacy is tainted by his role in executing a policy at the time – the extraditing of any LGBT persons from the federal workplace.

Some argue that Webb was merely complicit in backing common attitudes during the 1950s and that there is sparse evidence he was responsible for enacting these policies.

Thus, Webb was just acting as a product of his context. John Logsdon, Professor at the George

Washington University and an acquaintance of Webb, seconds this, claiming that Webb was "a product of the value system of his time." Logsdon even goes further to argue that Webb didn’t take “any particular actions that were unacceptable at the time."

However, it’s not the 1950s anymore.

Despite a lack of clearly incriminating evidence, there are still records that reveal Webb’s involvement in homophobic meetings. Moreover, it should be considered that inaction when faced with injustice is evidence of complicity – which, when it comes to homophobia should not be tolerated. So, why has NASA

refused to rename the telescope?

Earlier this year, two popular scientific journals, Scientific America and Nature, both ran articles pressing NASA to change the name of the JWST considering the controversy around James Webb. This led to an investigation from NASA that regrettably concluded in the organisation

finding "no evidence at this time that warrants changing the name". This, in my eyes, is unacceptable. Whilst there may not be any record of Webb directly persecuting queer workers, there is also no record of him standing up for those being objected to inhumane treatment whilst under his management.

This decision by NASA is particularly insensitive, even now. When considering the vast progress made in attitudes towards queer persons since 1950, humanity, and science administrations, still need to do better. A 2016 report from the American Physical Society made the principal finding that LGBT scientists didn’t feel safe in their places of work as they must put up with harassment and marginalisation. Unfortunately, findings from a more recent 2021 study in Science Advances have echoed these outcomes.

Thus, it is ironic that the name James Webb, a man whose tainted legacy restrained many queer individuals, should be associated with something as truly astonishing and freeing as the exploration of the cosmos.

While there’s no doubt this remarkable telescope will offer great insight into the universe’s past, it’s a shame that we have failed to learn from our own.

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

17

Politics

Student

Division in plain sight: rising international student fees

Emerson Shams Discussion of tuition fees arises every year, typically focused on the £9,250 fees that home students (and, until this year, EU students) pay being unfair. These arguments typically come with students feeling that they are not receiving a proper education for this large cost. However, the discussion typically leaves out the largest group which educational institutions make money from: international students.

Anyone who has spoken to an international student knows that, at Durham University, their tuition fees are at least double those of home fees.

Mark Steed wrote in Britain in Hong Kong that education is

“Britain’s most valuable export”.

While that is debatable, it definitely is one of the country’s main exports, whether that is through the use of GSCEs and A-levels in international schools around the world or through the high number of spaces for international students to attend university in the UK every year. In fact, in 2019, the Department of Education showed £19.9 billion earned through educational exports as a whole.

Regarding how this works at a university level, international students are enticed by Britain’s fame for higher education institutions, which in comparison to America are available for a steal. But, as the Government subsidises local students, it uses the fees from international

Teaching Year

Law

Humanities

STEM

Social Sciences

2018/2019

£18,300

£18,300

£23,100

£18,300

2019/2020

£19,250

£19,250

£24,300

£19,250

2020/2021

£20,500

£20,500

£25,800

£20,500

2021/2022

£21,730

£21,730

£27,350

£21,500

2022/2023

£23,000

£22,900

£28,500

£23,100

Durham University international student tuition fees

students to fund other university needs, which is how they explain the drastic increase in price.

One of the biggest issues at the moment though is how much the price increases every year for international students. While the tuition fees for home students have consistently been £9,250 per annum, international fees have gone up around £5,000 over a five year period. An evaluation of tuition fees at Durham since 2018 in the table below shows just how much they have changed.

These fees are quickly becoming unmanageable. The stereotype that all international students are extremely rich is incorrect, with most being from similar backgrounds to a majority of Durham students. Often, what happens is that a student’s family will save up for them to study Business abroad in the hope that it will help their future £18,300 career paths, but their families £20,250 have to work overtime or take £21,500 out loans to pay for the tuition. £22,900 And most when getting here £24,500 either get part time work or live

meagrely to get by and finish their education. Thus, this increase will further cause these situations to happen, in addition to getting to the point that only the most elite can study abroad. However, this inhibits universities’ ability to grow positively from the interactions with an international community.

One thing is clear though: international students are a commodity. They are told that the increase of fees is to cover what the British government subsidises for home students, but this argument falls apart once one compares the options available for home and international students. Firstly, access to university disability support is limited to home students because they get monetary support from the government for this.

The disabilities department in Durham does not have the financial means to provide resources for international students. This is an ableist problem as it stops disabled international students from receiving the same support as their peers. And though fees are meant to cover what is provided for home students, this important factor is left out.

Furthermore, with the Covid-19 situation, the gap in support for

international and home students widened. In addition to the traditional arguments as to why online education was not worth the standard tuition fees any student pays, many international students ended up being stuck in their home countries over the last academic year which led to paying exorbitant tuition fees for many resources that they had absolutely zero access to.

For example, the library became a shipping service for books to allow students to access literature over lockdown. However this service did not extend overseas, leaving international students without the full extent of the library.

In conclusion, international students have been treated as little more than a commodity to exploit through rising tuition fees on the basis that universities need the extra money. However, the fairness of these fees has hardly been discussed, mainly due to a negative stereotype that all international students come from extremely wealthy backgrounds. It is important to involve international students in the conversations about how tuition fees impact us all: they need to be treated in the same manner as home students.

Critical Race Theory: an educational battleground Lorna Petty Critical Race Theory (CRT) is a term denoting the controversial movement of US civil rights scholars and activists who advocate a theory-focussed teaching of race and inequality at the centre of the US curriculum. A prominent doctrine of CRT is that disparities in racial outcomes are the response of a complex system of racism and institutional dynamics, rather than deliberate individual prejudices.

CRT scholars view white supremacy as an intersectional construct that promotes the interests of whiteness and white people at the expense of non-white persons.

In the aftermath of the Black Lives Matter movement, education on these concepts has advanced – whilst not sufficiently – significantly. Many are familiar with the idea of systemic racism and micro-aggressions that contribute to an unequal society in which we see people of colour being continually disadvantaged.

But CRT produces a debate between academic critics, some of whom argue that it relies on social constructionism, promotes

storytelling above evidence, rejects truth, and opposes liberalism. This debate has seen conservative US lawmakers restrict CRT instruction and other anti-racism programs under the argument that they teach ‘unAmerican’ values of division and racism.

The campaign against CRT was taken up confidently by Donald Trump in the run-up to and aftermath of the 2020 US presidential election. But it is not just America that agonises over this issue; in October 2020 the Conservative MP and Equalities Minister Kemi Badenoch made the following comments on the teaching of CRT in UK schools: “We do not want to see teachers teaching their pupils about white privilege and inherited racial guilt ... any school which teaches these elements of critical race theory, or which promotes partisan political views such as defunding the police without offering a balanced treatment of opposing views, is breaking the law.”

After these comments and subsequent accusations by Badenoch that certain writers of popular, black-authored books “wanted a segregated society”, the MP was denounced by the

Black Writers Guild in an open letter that indicated Badenoch’s comments had been “not only false but dangerous” and asked that “the government ensure that ministers […] uphold democratic values such as freedom of speech and act with a duty of care.” But as Badenoch is a black-British woman herself, it is clear this debate is not simply racial, but political and ethical beyond colour.

For too long the history of white supremacy has been omitted by education authorities For supporters, CRT is a crucial framework for understanding the way that systemic inequalities and institutional racism can propagate discrimination and disadvantage. But for opponents, it is a seditious plan to indoctrinate young white people to reject their history, whilst encouraging young people of colour to view themselves as helpless victims unable to overcome the racism of an unfair society. Christopher Rufo, an antiCRT activist in the US has warned against the “elites” who “seek

to reengineer the foundation of human psychology and social institutions through the new politics of race”. Rufo’s comments on Tucker in September 2020 saw Trump take his advice and issue an executive order directing agencies of the US federal government to withdraw funding for programs that mention ‘white privilege’ or ‘critical race theory’.

Whilst comments on the divisiveness of CRT are understandable, perhaps they simply reflect the discomfort of acknowledging the scale of white privilege and systemic racism in 2021. At least 30 schools across the US have recommended that students should read ‘Not my Idea’, a children’s book by author Anastasia Higginbotham, who has labelled her theories as CRT and argues that “any place where there are white people has violent white supremacy embedded into it”. Comments like these are certainly hard to hear, but also of great importance and interest.

Listening to the voices of those who are marginalised by white privilege and bringing depth to debates on racial inequality is the first step in tackling systemic racism.

If paired with a projection of

hope and possibility for a better future if change is enacted, then the teachings of CRT could help turn the tide on racism in the US and UK today. Teaching young white children about their inherent participation in a racist system is complex and should be done with care to ensure that doom and impotence do not overtake the desire for action. But for too long the history of white supremacy has been omitted by the education authorities, and it is important for both people of colour and for white children to understand the atrocities that formed the systemic racism and white privilege of the modern world. CRT, whilst controversial, is one method through which we can reach an understanding of these forces; and the censoring of discussion around it is at best ignorant, at worst an attempt to silence discussions that would begin anti-racist action toward bettering the system for persons of colour in both the UK and the USA. IDEA FOR AN ARTICLE?

Send your thoughts to politics@palatinate.org.uk

18

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

Politics

Domestic

Systemic police negligence in protecting women and girls is an abject moral failure Anna Noble Can we trust the police?

Recent scandals, allegations of police brutality, and the revelation that fifteen serving or former police officers have been convicted of murdering women since 2009 have cast doubt in the public mind over the police’s propriety.

The Met under the leadership of Cressida Dick has been condemned for failing on multiple occasions. Security breaches at the European Championship Final in June and high profile stop and search failures, including the British Olympian Bianca Williams, have damaged the organisation’s credibility. This was then exacerbated by the disturbing incident that saw two Met police officers arrested after taking selfies with the bodies of two murdered women in Wembley Park. Their mother, Mina Smallman, heavily criticised the Met over the incident saying “if ever we needed an example of how toxic it has become, those police officers felt so safe, so untouchable, that they felt they could take photographs of dead black girls and send them on. It speaks volumes of the ethos that runs through the Metropolitan Police.”

The murder of Sarah Everard has brought the Met’s propriety once again to the forefront of the national conversation Questions have also been raised about the suitability of Cressida Dick to remain as the Met Commissioner. Ms Dick is no stranger to controversy. Her initial appointment to the Met was met with backlash, many citing her involvement in the case of Jean Charles de Menezes.

The Brazilian national was repeatedly shot in the head at a train station in July 2005, having been mistaken for a suicide bomber. He was innocent: a case of mistaken identity. Ms Dick was the senior officer responsible for authorising a shoot-to-kill command.

These issues are not new, with the Met having a long history of misconduct allegations. The Daniel Morgan report released earlier this year went further in its criticism of the Met, finding that the organisation was “institutionally corrupt”. Daniel Morgan was a private detective who was found dead with an axe embedded into his neck in 1987.

The investigation was highly flawed and failed to properly investigate the murder, resulting in no prosecutions. Police officers were also accused of selling information to The News of the World for private financial gain.

The ruling echoed the findings into the Stephen Lawrence case in 1999 which found that the Met was “institutionally racist” in how it handled the investigation.

officer to arrest Ms Everard in front of witnesses, citing alleged ‘breaches of Covid-19 laws’.

The Met have subsequently faced accusations from across the political spectrum of chronic failings after it emerged that Ms Everard’s killer had been accused of indecent exposure three times, the first being in 2015 and the most recent just two weeks prior to her murder. It also emerged that he made female coworkers s o

“ ... those police officers felt so safe ... that they felt they could take photographs of dead black girls and send them on”

uncomfortable that he was nicknamed ‘the rapist’. Priti Patel, the Home Secretary, has launched an inquiry into the failings of the Met, and how Ms Everard’s killer was allowed to remain as a police officer.

Sarah Everard’s murder has brought the Met’s propriety to the forefront of the national conversation The force also faced intense backlash and allegations of brutality for their heavyhanded approach in shutting down a vigil for Sarah Everard.

In addition, The Evening Standard reports allegations accusing officers approaching those arrested at the vigil on dating apps such as Tinder. They were later cleared of wrongdoing, but this has done nothing to help the Met’s public image.

The ‘one bad apple’ argument often touted in support of the Met rings hollow when incidents of violence

The rape and murder of Durham alumna Sarah Everard has brought the Met’s propriety once again to the forefront of the national conversation.

Ms Everard was kidnapped, raped and murdered by a serving member of the Metropolitan Police force. Wayne Couzens falsely used his authority as an

(Anna Kuptsova)A have become so commonplace. former ex-chief superintendent at the Met, Parm Sandhu criticised the culture within the Met and British policing in general, claiming that female officers fear reporting their male colleagues for misconduct because of potential retaliation, such as being left to “get kicked in” if they call for help whilst on duty. Public criticism of the Met is mounting, with cross-party agreement that there are systemic flaws that need to be stamped out.

The ‘one bad apple’ argument often touted in support of the Met rings hollow when incidents of violence have become so commonplace The Met has always had significant PR issues, due to the nature of policing, but the Sarah Everard case is perhaps a watershed for police reform.

These reforms must be not only cultural, but institutional – from top to bottom, change is needed.

The attitude of the police towards women and girls therefore needs to be the organisation’s top focus.

Domestic violence and rape, two crimes of which most victims are female, have seen prosecution rates plummet. On a basic issue of women’s safety, if the police are seen to not be doing enough, public trust will melt away. The government has committed itself to increasing the prosecution rate for rape allegations – this will be a key watermark of confidence.

There are clear systemic failings within the police. A fearless approach to reform needs to be adopted by Ms Dick and ministers – if the Met needs to be shook to its core, so be it.

(Anna Kuptsova)

From the editors: Cressida Dick must go so real reform can happen Cressida Dick must resign for the Met to conduct any credible reform.

Ms Dick’s delay in resignation, and acceptance of the extension of her contract until 2024, speaks to the half-hearted attempts at reform that the Met has undertaken following Sarah Everard’s death and the institutional failings that have come before.

Ms Dick skirts between fight and

flight, now more so than ever. She fights for her position whilst fleeing from the responsibility for countless failings within the institution she runs. This materialises itself in stressing that women have a degree of onus when dealing with a police officer, or denying blame for numerous botched investigations.

It is simply not right that she stay on to command the Met in the coming years, given her total

lack of credibility. Ms Dick has had a record-breaking track record. Her appointment saw a woman lead the Met for the first time in its 192year history. She is the first openly gay Met Commissioner.

However, these feats cannot overshadow the numbers that have followed. Despite proclamations of an interest in stemming youth violence, this year looks to be the highest since 2008 for teenage

murders in London. The Met’s survival depends upon a degree of public confidence, however shallow it may be. Women’s confidence has been shaken profoundly. So too has the confidence of Black, Asian, and Muslim men, who have been subject to a disproportionate amount of stop-and-searches.

Any reform whilst Ms Dick continues to call the shots simply

will not have public confidence.

The year 2029 will mark 200 years since the establishment of the Met. For it to be an anniversary remotely worth celebrating, major change is needed. The abuse of power and lack of accountability running rampant require radical intervention. Preceding this, its beleaguered Commissioner needs to make way for someone with a scintilla of credibility.

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

19

International

Politics

Corruption claims and chaos in Czech elections Flo Clifford Released recently, the Pandora Papers are the latest cache of documents to reveal the use of offshore financial systems by the rich and powerful, resulting in widespread outrage and calls for action to combat allegations of corruption and money laundering. The political ramifications of this leak became apparent on Saturday, when the ruling party of Czech Prime Minister Andrej Babiš, ANO 2011, lost the parliamentary elections, potentially spelling the end of his time in power.

Babiš, who initially ran a campaign promising to fight corruption, has been implicated in financial scandals and claims of conflicts of interest in the past, with this week’s leak only adding to the pressure facing him. The papers reveal how in 2009, prior to his entry into politics, Babiš passed loans through a complex structure of three overseas companies to finance the purchase of a £13m mansion in France. Neither the property nor the companies were reported to the Czech ministry of justice, which Czech tax experts see as a concerted effort to hide his ownership. Babiš denies any wrongdoing.

The timing of the leak, and the resulting pressure on Babiš, has proved less than ideal for his

ruling party. The ‘Stork’s Head’ scandal of 2018, which accused Babiš of misappropriating €2m of EU funds to build a luxury hotel complex, resulted in the biggest protests the country has seen since the 1989 Velvet Revolution, and continues to cause problems for him today: Czech police requested to indict him for fraud in June of this year. While Babiš has dismissed all accusations as “politically motivated,” the revelation from the Pandora Papers has brought an unwelcome spotlight on the long line of his alleged offences, and may have been the final straw for some Czech voters.

Despite a narrow lead in opinion polls prior to the election, ANO 2011 lost by 0.7% to Together, a coalition of three liberal parties spanning the political spectrum. A second liberal coalition finished third behind ANO, granting the two coalitions the opportunity to form a majority government, in a major blow to Babiš’ populism and a shock to the Czech political scene. Analysts have been taken by surprise at Babiš’ loss, making this election the most recent of many, across Europe and worldwide, where opinion polls have dramatically failed to predict the actual outcome.

In another highly unexpected twist, on Sunday night Miloš Zeman, the Czech president and a key ally of Babiš’, was taken

to an intensive care unit in an ambulance. Zeman has previously referred to the coalitions as a “fraud” and has promised to do whatever he can to keep Babiš in power, promising to invite the leader of the single party with the most votes to form a government — in this case, ANO. However, his recent ill health and the uncertainty this hospital stay has created in Czech politics could now result in a power vacuum.

Ahead of meetings this week with Zeman, Babiš conceded defeat but said he would “see what the president will say,” leaving the imminent impact of the election uncertain.

With Zeman now — at least temporarily — unable to fulfil his constitutional duty of inviting a new prime minister to form a government, analysts foresee Babiš attempting to maintain his grip on Czech politics. This latest development in these already surprising elections could trigger a political crisis.

the country. Babiš’ populist government ran on an antiEU and anti-immigrant ticket, suggesting that this sentiment does not hold as much force over Czech voters as it has previously done, although he remains fairly popular. The Czech Republic pulling out of the EU now seems more unlikely, as the policies of the five opposition parties comprising the two coalitions are considerably more proEurope.

Could this mark a change in the region’s g e n e r a l attitude to the EU, and the

role of populism in Eastern Europe more broadly? Babiš brought Hungary’s far-right prime minister, Viktor Orban, on the campaign trail with him to visit his constituency, but this alliance appears to have done little to benefit him in the eyes of Czech voters.

With president Zeman’s health in doubt and a possible political vacuum opening up, the events of this election are far from over, but the scandals which have plagued the prime minister throughout his tenure, especially this latest revelation from the Pandora Papers, could have brought about the end of his time in power.

(ALDE Party via Flickr)

Babiš has dismissed all accusations as “politically motivated” As for the result itself, Czech political analysts see it as marking a significant shift in national politics, possibly spelling the end of Babiš’ decade in political prominence and a turning point for liberal democracy in

Militants clash in streets of Beirut amid port explosion inquiry Oisin McIlroy The streets of Beirut last Thursday were filled with sectarian militias exchanging heavy fire with one another, further destabilising a nation that has suffered economic devastation, political turmoil, and national tragedy all within the last two years.

A series of sporadic firefights began just before midday, as unidentified snipers opened fire on demonstrators from two Shia Muslim parties — Hezbollah, a militant group backed by Iran, and the Amal Movement — whilst they were protesting for the removal of the judge charged with investigating last year’s Beirut port explosion, which killed more than 200 people.

Immediately after the initial sniper fire, protesters briefly withdrew to retrieve Kalashnikovs and RPG launchers, which they then used to open fire on the high-rises, where the snipers in question appeared

to be situated. Hundreds of civilians were caught up in much of the violence which ensued, the majority of whom retreated. But many remained, taking cover behind cars and in side streets, encouraging the Hezbollah and Amal fighters with chants of “Shia, Shia, Shia”.

Four hours of violence were gradually brought to an end once the Lebanese army was deployed and militants began to withdraw, leaving at least seven dead, 30 wounded, and no more than nine arrested from both sides.

According to unsubstantiated claims made

by Hezbollah officials, the snipers which allegedly began Thursday’s violence were members of the Lebanese Forces — a rightwing Christian political party that frequently clashes with Hezbollah.

That evening Lebanon’s president, Michel Aoun, delivered a televised address in which he reaffirmed the government’s

commitment to the port explosion investigation and called for stability. “Our country needs calm dialogue, and calm solutions and the respect for our institutions,” he said.

Tensions between these two fighting groups are considerably higher than they were several years ago due to Lebanon’s many recent crises. Since September 2019, Lebanon’s currency, the Lebanese pound, has been plummeting to a level where it is now worth 90% less than it was pre-downturn.

The World Bank has stated that the nation’s economic collapse could rank among the three worst the world has seen since the midnineteenth century. Prolonged fuel shortages and frequent power outages have resulted in worries that even hospitals’ emergency generators might fail.

Such economic devastation has resulted in an added intensity to Lebanese politics, primarily centring around last year’s port blast. Many commentators have pointed out that if Lebanon fails to deliver justice, and trial the culprits of one of the biggest industrial accidents in modern

history, then surely it must rank as a failed state.

Delivering justice, however, has proved to be no mean feat, due to the explosion being increasingly politicised. The resignation of the former prime minister, Hassan Diab, and the rest of his cabinet soon after the explosion might have appeased the outraged Lebanese public, but it also entangled the investigation in political wrongdoing and corruption from the very beginning.

Hezbollah’s militia is arguably as strong as Lebanon’s army, and possibly stronger Hezbollah and Amal have been extremely vocal in attempting to tarnish the inquiry’s legitimacy.

The former’s leader Hassan Nasrallah accused the lead judge of “politically targeting” officials, inflaming tensions which lead to Thursday’s protests. This staunch opposition to the inquiry has led most involved to presume Hezbollah were somehow responsible for the explosion; as of yet, however, these are merely

popular rumours.

David Gardner at The Financial Times has gone as far as to regard the investigation as not only the make-or-break moment for Lebanon as a functional democracy, but even as a sovereign nation, arguing that if Hezbollah succeeds in derailing it, the country ‘will be well on the way to becoming an Iranian protectorate on the Mediterranean.’

Such an idea is not especially outlandish. Hezbollah’s militia is arguably as strong as Lebanon’s army, and possibly stronger, given its arsenal of 100,000 artillery rockets, and approximately as many fighters who have decades of experience in combat across the Middle East, such as in Yemen and Iraq.

This inquiry, therefore, is about far more than hundreds of victims’ families or resolving government corruption, given that its outcome could drastically shift the power balance in Lebanon and the Middle East, potentially adding another civil war to the region’s already plentiful list of the last decade.

(Bdx via Wikimedia Commons)

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

20

Puzzles +5

-30

4

ad d di the git s

-100

square it

cu b it e

+2

7

1/

+5

+6 ×5

Ice or sugar, for example

13 ↓

Maths Maze

k ec ch it

↓

-7

Seasonal gourd

Relaxation resort

↓

Tuscan city on the Arno

→ Place of sleep

Mend (socks)

→

↓

Heated butter and sugar

Not fastened

↓

↓

→

The most spooky

↓

↓

↓

Arrow Word

An arrow word works the same as a normal crossword, except that the clues are written in the boxes. Each answer appears in a straight line next to each clue, in the direction indicated by the nearby arrow.

Word Cauldron Can you unjumble the words in bold from the contents of the witches’ cauldron in Macbeth?

Eye of tewn, and toe of frog,

Can you name the horror movie from this Dingbat?

NIGHT NIGHT SONIGHTHO

Lowo of bat, and oetnug of dog,

→

Zrldai’s leg, and tewol’s wing Felt remorse

Cause pause through shock

Tots up

↓

↓

↓

Sentence Sleuth → USA’s currency code

→ Small hollows in a surface

Dingbat

Edard’s fork, and nilbd-worm’s igsnt,

→

Add tint

Join with heat

Map book

Area from Spain to Korea

Oxidised

Toothed woodwork tool

Half

Study of omens

→

White to checkmate in three moves

-15 usq are ot ro

+21

?

square it

cube it

+37

-2

1/11

1/

1/3

+5

Chess Puzzle

×9

square root

×2

+2

www.palatinate.org.uk/category/puzzles @palatinatepuzzles

6

13

For online versions, answers and more puzzles, head to

1/

square it

Puzzle Editors Katie Smith, Hugo Bush & Thomas Simpson

→

→

Find 5 snakes hidden between the words of this story about a dessert dependent diplomat

Jacob ranked very high in the UK government owing to his role as Guam ambassador.

He was always doing very important things, signing many a charter or almanac on data or stats or something. Life was always busy and important for this political VIP. Erudite and wise though he was, Jacob had a constant desire to eat loads of sugar. Terrible was his dependency to the extent that he could barely get through a meeting without eating at least one stick of candlyfloss. Needless to say, there was something he liked particularly about official state banquets. That was the icing on the cake.

21

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

PalatiDates: “I don’t think we’re falling in love anytime soon” Katie and Yuta, Marketing and Management and History students from South College, meet for a blind date at Spags

Katie on Yuta

What were your first impressions of your date?

Well, we were actually in the same household in first year so our first impression was a while ago.

What did you talk about?

We just had a catch up on everything as it had been a while since we last saw each other, and we shared some college gossip.

How would they describe you?

From the date he would probably say I’m a pretty normal girl, but from when we lived together he’d probably tell a different story of how chaotic I can be.

How would you describe them?

He’s a lovely guy, he has always been very genuine and nothing but nice to me.

If they were a Durham night out, which would they be and why?

Players Wednesday because he’s sporty and I have seen him there before.

What were you hoping for? Did they deliver on your expectations?

I was hoping to join the 70% of married alumni from my blind date, but considering I already knew him, I don’t think we’re falling in love anytime soon.

Would you introduce them to your friends or family?

I’m pretty sure he already met my parents whilst moving in.

Would you like to see them again?

I doubt we’ll be going anywhere as intimate as Spags again anytime soon but I’d definitely say hi if I saw him around.

Marks out of 10?

7

PalatiPets

Think you have the cutest pet? Email editor@palatinate.org.uk with three pictures and 100 words explaining why for a chance to be featured in print

Ben on Honey

Rebecca on Fudge & Toffee

The boys of my little cat family are Fudge and Toffee, or, as I call them, Mr Grumble and Mr Toffs.

Born almost six years ago, they have been the sweeties of their mum, Cindie, and Auntie Rosie’s lives ever since. I say almost because their birthday is coming up

on the 24th of November, and, although I am at university, I know that they will keep me posted on their Insta @garden_0f_cats.

Their main hobby is sleeping and, when they are not sleeping, fighting. However, like all brothers, they love each other really.

Yuta on Katie

What were your first impressions of your date?

I already knew her so it was a bit of a weird situation.

What did you talk about?

Just general catch up since we lived with each other last year.

How would they describe you?

A normal bloke.

How would you describe them?

A friendly girl.

Most awkward moment?

When we met up and we knew that we knew each other.

If they were a Durham night out, which would they be and why?

Players because we were both there the night before.

What were you hoping for? Did they deliver on your expectations?

I was hoping to meet someone that I didn’t know, but I already knew her so in a sense that didn’t happen.

What would you have changed about the experience?

Meeting someone new that I didn’t know.

Would you introduce them to your friends or family?

No. Would you like to see them again?

Not in a romantic setting.

Marks out of 10?

5 (Anna Kuptsova)

Ask Aunty Violet

Q

A This is Honey: ball-chaser, boneeater, girlboss. She deserves to be included in this print edition because she is super organised and never late to an appointment, you can always count on her to be there for her morning snack at 8am and main meal at 6pm.

She may be extremely kind and very giving (mainly of toys soaked in her saliva), but don’t you dare call her ‘sweetheart’. Honey may sound sweet, but she’s got a tough side too — you can see her strutting up to the guys, our cats Pringle and Pretzel, and scaring them away with a ferocious lick or two. Scary stuff.

Aiken on Rex

This is Rex (the labradoodle) and his girlfriend, Bessie (the flatcoat). They met in the local park in South London and became best friends. Bessie passed away a few years ago but Rex is yet to find another friend like her. Rex likes to go up to every dog in the park and say hello, but because of his size little dogs often bark him away.

Bessie was equally lovely but more reserved with her friend choices. Rex is the calmest dog in the world and is basically a big carpet. He is the perfect hugging dog — though I’m yet to convince Principal Wendy to let me keep him in the Castle as a therapy dog.

HATFIELD

Dear Violet, I just don’t know what to do.

I swear I spend more time cleaning my room than anything else. Every morning I wake up to a mess, I’ll clean the entire day and then it’ll still be a mess come morning. What should I do?

Dear darling, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with maintaining the tidiness of your room. It’s a reccuring problem for students at Durham who are too used to having servants clear up after them.

I find it’s beneficial to dispose of your possessions if you are struggling to manage them all, really, the more extreme the method, the better. It may surprise you to learn that scientists have concluded that students typically only need four items in their room: a towel, LED strip lights, 3-15 dirty mugs and a drawer of college stash. All items excluding these are considered optional so feel free to rid yourself of the excess and save you time on cleaning!

Q

HILD BEDE

Dear Violet, I’ve been finding it very difficult to maintain my relationship with my boyfriend who is living in Ustinov college this year. It’s a really long walk and everyone makes fun of me for saying that I’ve made him up because he never comes round.

Please can you provide some advice?

A

Dearest honey, I know how difficult long-distance relationships can be. I completely sympathise with your predicament.

It really is unfortunate that you’ve ended up on completely different sides of the city. However you should take every problem as an opportunity to grow: in this case, think about gaining that Durham bum.

Have a problem for Aunty Violet?

Fill out the form via the QR code!

22

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

Sport Sport

Love at first sight: a taste of Durham Women’s football

Jonny Tiplady Sport Editor

An Autumn chill had set against the tracked pitch of Maiden Castle. The darkness that was beginning to set in was soon pierced by floodlights. Fans and families slowly flocked in in their droves, filling up the stands and all four corners of the pitch. As the clock ticked towards kick-off, the anticipation was building. 7pm came, and the evening’s heroines emerged ready for action.

Before the game, there was an almost carnivalesque atmosphere. That sweet smell of sugary donuts wafting through the stands, hot dogs and chips that even I couldn’t resist. There was not an ounce of hooliganism or such around, this simply made for the perfect family day out. I could see it in the sheer breadth of supporters around me; students, families, casual supporters and even the diehard set of ‘ultras’ sat in front of us leading the chants (who were girls no older than 10, too). It was different to any other football match I’ve experienced.

Of course, it was no ordinary game for Durham Women FC.

This was a break from a league campaign already in full swing, whose fine results had seen the Wildcats setting the pace in the Women’s Championship. A cup competition like the Women’s Super League Cup can throw up a plethora of challenges, and theirs was certainly no different.

Lady luck was seemingly not smiling on Durham’s chances.

Pitted against four teams from the highest tier of Women’s Football, they would have a real test of their mettle against some of the country’s elite. Leicester City they were no strangers to; the Foxes pipped them to promotion to the Women’s Super League last season. Everton had been solid since their own rise in 2017.

And of course, everyone already knows the names Manchester United and Manchester City.

It was the red half of Manchester that provided Durham’s first test in the cup. Despite being relative newcomers to Women’s Football’s top tier, they were now highflying, pushing for Champions League qualification in 4th place. Of course they had their own ‘ultras’ who had made the journey north, perched on the Wear-end of the stadium. And it was their fans who had the first laugh, United’s

Ivana Fuso drawing first blood.

What had, up to that point, been a rapturous atmosphere was silenced in one moment.

Half time provided some muchneeded reflection; the Wildcats were pegged back, and needed some sort of response. It took mere minutes of the second half for the roars to return, Dee Bradley levelling from a Beth Hepple corner. The crowd, no longer hushed, bellowed their team back on. Ella Toone’s wonder goal for the Red Devils could well have been cause for heartbreak, another mountain to climb for the hosts in a half they had dominated. But what followed was a moment to make you fall in love with football.

Just five minutes remained on the clock before defeat grasped her ugly claws around Durham’s opening cup fixture. A free kick on the edge of the box from a tight angle, it was a picture-perfect moment. I blink, and suddenly the ball is nestled in the near top corner; 2-2, it was lift-off at the sold-out Maiden Castle. The whole team ran to the corner to celebrate with their fans, frenetic in swarming adulation. While they may have lost the resulting penalty shootout, conceding a

Durham Women FC

bonus point to their visitors, that did not matter an iota. The end result merely capped off a valiant effort which showed that this team is ready for the next step.

And they will take everyone with them. Hundreds stuck around after the final whistle to chat and take photos with members of the team. And not a single player hesitated to embrace their adoring fans.

(Twitter) This is a side united by a sense of community. Win, lose or draw, there are no egos, no fans chanting ‘off with his head’ at the manager after a few poor results.

This was football at its purest, something which the modern game is seemingly losing sight of.

For me, this was love at first sight.

Durham Women, you’ve got me hooked.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither is a super club Jonny Tiplady Sport Editor

The 7th of October is a day that will go down in Geordie folklore. After 14 years of misery, 11 different managers, two relegations and just three top half finishes in the Premier League, things could finally be on the up at Newcastle United. The weeds sucking the life out of the club

have been cleared, 50,000 of the Toon Army assembled at St. James’ Park, unified for the first time in what feels like eons. At long last, nature in the north-east of England seems to be healing.

Playing in black and white stripes in the nineties was a sign you were amongst footballing elite Such excitement and buzz are not feelings associated with the Mike Ashley era at Newcastle United.

But the future under their powerful consortium trio, worth up to £700 billion if some reports are to be believed, promises much more.

The Public Investment Fund, with further backing from the Reuben Brothers and PCP Capital Partners, have lifted over a decade of gloom on Tyneside. Now, Newcastle fans across the globe will be dreaming of competing with the likes of Manchester

City and Paris Saint-Germain.

These are the sort of ambitions that Amanda Staveley holds for the Toon Army, declaring a Premier League title inside this decade their goal. But the investment Newcastle needs requires long-term thinking.

They are in desperate need of a shake-up from top to bottom, from playing staff to the training infrastructure. With an academy whose well has dried up and facilities that are still yet to catch up with the rest of the Premier League, the new owners have their work cut out for them.

Under Bruce, Newcastle lacked tactical direction and a drive like they had under Rafael Benítez In spite of this newfound wealth and optimism, there are still huge questions to be asked on Tyneside. Steve Bruce has now left the club by mutual consent after a painful tenure. While the treatment he received from fans can never be condoned, this was a necessary step for the football club. When the tide needs to be changed, new owners have to take such measures to keep famously passionate fans on side.

Removing an already unpopular figure from the equation was a no-brainer.

Under Bruce, Newcastle lacked tactical direction and a drive like they had under Rafael Benítez. I would even argue that the squad is now stronger than the one the Spaniard had at his disposal; with largely the same core of defensive and midfield options, Callum Wilson and Allan Saint-Maximin provide star quality and goals that they lacked before. But all this was null without any stability.

That should be the new owners’ first priority. Bookies have touted big names like Antonio Conte as Bruce’s successor, but the ship needs to be steadied first. They need a manager to come in and instil a style of football to provide a base for future big-name managers. There is no doubt that whoever they pick will be significantly backed, but we can’t ignore Newcastle’s troublesome position.

The truth of the matter is that they are in a relegation battle.

Manchester City didn’t have the same concerns when they enjoyed their similarly groundbreaking takeover. While fans will be dreaming of Kylian Mbappé or Erling Haaland leading their line, they don’t yet have the draw for such superstars. Settling in the North East doesn’t have the same appeal it once did in football.

Playing in black and white stripes in the nineties was a sign you were amongst footballing

elite. But relentless investment amongst league rivals and a widespread commercialisation of the sport means the region now has some catching up to do. This season should be about damage control, then regrouping thereafter.

It took Manchester City three years to win their first major honours after being taken over. Success doesn’t happen overnight, especially not in football. Turning this club around is going to take time.

I often think back to the famous ‘what is a club?’ quote from Bobby Robson. The ‘feeling of belonging, the pride in your city’. For the first time in a while those two feelings have finally returned. Now it’s up to the new owners to leverage them. This great club can reclaim its place on the English footballing mantle, but it won’t happen overnight.

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23

PALATINATE | Thursday 28th October 2021

Sport

Futsal at Durham: “You need people who are more well-rounded than football” Sport talks to DU Men’s Futsal about Team Durham, futsal in England, and how football and futsal complement each other.

George Simms Sport Editor

“If it wasn’t for Futsal, I wouldn’t be the player I am today”. In one sentence, Cristiano Ronaldo puts forward perhaps the best advert for futsal the sport could ever ask for. Lionel Messi, Neymar Jr, Philippe Coutinho, and many others, reserve similar praise for a sport often maligned as football’s very little brother.

As I discussed with DU Men’s Futsal co-President Jesse Bakare, Brazil’s ‘national laboratory of improvisation’ has now made its way to Team Durham. Played in teams of five, on a smaller, normally indoor pitch, Bakare described futsal as “kind of like basketball, but football”. A heavier ball is used, and the clock is stopped whenever the ball goes out of play, so it’s clear to see where the comparison comes from.

Only established five years ago, Men’s Futsal has risen quickly to its current status as a Team Durham club. Bakare runs the club alongside Jad El Kari. They now have three teams of eight, which were whittled down from more than 80 trialists after a surge of interest at the Freshers’ Fair. They are trained by FAqualified coach Alan Evans, in an effort to help the teams become more competitive.

“It’s more exciting, it’s more fast-paced, it’s more thrilling” It seems to be working – the first team recently beat Teeside 1s 12-4. Although the first team were relegated from BUCS 1 in 2019, Bakare assures me that, “under my watch, we’re going to get promoted again”. Both the 1s and 2s are now both in BUCS Tier 2, with the 3s in BUCS Tier 3.

With my best Jordan Belfort impression, minus the fraud and coercion, I asked Bakare to ‘sell me this sport’, and he certainly didn’t disappoint. “It’s more fastpaced, it’s more exciting, it’s more thrilling … when you play fivea-side, you rely on every single person on your team. There’s a close-knit culture within the team, futsal definitely inspires that over football.”

Whilst comparisons between football and futsal seem only natural, a lot of our conversation focussed on their compatibility.

Bakare also captains his college football first team, Hild Bede 1s, which he’s clearly proud to

The Durham Men’s Futsal First Team (DU Futsal)

tell me have just been promoted back to the Durham big time, the Premiership.

“I definitely think futsal helps you to become a better footballer”, he tells me. “In futsal, if you get the ball, it’s instantly in press and you’ve got to a) have quick decision making and b) you’ve got to have good end quality and dribbling. You’re always under pressure … and also because the goals are smaller, your opportunities to shoot are less, so you need to always be accurate.”

“It’s much higher intensity than football, I think that’s something that a lot of people don’t understand. Everyone kind of plays in every single position, so in that sense you need people who are more well-rounded than in football.”

Alongside this, he emphasises the impact futsal has on teamwork and communication, saying, “If you have a team that isn’t quite gelling, isn’t quite communicating, you will lose every match.”

The skills you gain from futsal clearly help footballers from Brazil, Argentina, Spain and Portugal to improve their game, so it’s disappointing to see the state it’s in in England. Depending on where you look, it seems to vary between dire and non-existent.

The national team ranks 60th in the world, behind Tajikistan, Kuwait, and the Solomon Islands.

It was catastrophically affected

by Covid-19, as the FA scrapped a newly announced £900,000 investment plan in the game and offered no real replacement.

Max Kilman, who is now a fixture of the Wolverhampton Wanderers defence, started his career in the England futsal setup.

He got 25 caps for the side, having made his debut aged 18. Now 24, he’s played every minute in the Premier League this season and unsurprisingly credits much of his development to his time playing futsal. Kilman is a walking representation of why futsal needs investment.

As has been discussed, futsal and football certainly don’t need to be mutually exclusive; they actively complement each other.

This is something that women’s futsal in Durham has over the men. Durham University Women’s Football Club (DUWAFC) boasts not only three ‘serious contenders for top of their respective leagues’ in football, but also three ‘competitive futsal teams’. Players from the football teams play for the futsal teams, and vice versa.

Given the success of both sides, you have to suggest that it works as a system.

The success of the women’s side helps back-up Bakare’s claims that futsal in Durham “could definitely be bigger than it is”. He’s a big believer that once you watch futsal, it’s hard not to get hooked.

He’s hoping that the team’s success

this season could inspire a wave of futsal enthusiasm in Durham. “I want to get people down, maybe if we get to the semi-finals or finals of the Northern Cup. I think if people actually watch a game, they would probably stop with the chat.”

However, futsal in England is starting to show positive signs of life too. A three-year deal was recently signed between the National Futsal Series and BT Sport, committing to showing 110 hours of futsal throughout the 2021/22 season, split evenly between the men’s and women’s games.

This deal should bring both viewers and players to the sport and should hopefully inspire the FA to reconsider their shortsighted decision to cut funding. As former England U-19 captain Jared Rand said, this may well be the “first step in taking the sport from an amateur level to a professional one.”

Bakare’s enthusiasm for the sport is infectious and I’m sure I’ll find myself watching a game at Maiden Castle sooner rather than later. He’s aiming to continue growing the sport’s profile in Durham, saying, “I’m trying to properly form a club community, grow our presence in that sense. I also plan to have more socials and run a pretty tight ship in terms of training.”

In terms of growing the game

across England, he advises we look to Power Leagues, the biggest company behind fivea-side football in England.

Power Leagues has over 30,000 competitors across 200 UK locations. They see over ten million games played every year.

Pushing these numbers towards futsal would instantly regenerate the sport in Britain.

Alongside this, we often see stories of incredibly promising young academy footballers who get released from club programmes. If these players grew up with futsal as an alternative, then being released could present a new world of opportunities, both for these bright young talents and for the sport itself.

“It helps you become a better footballer” Whilst the FA may be ignoring futsal, it’s wonderful that Durham isn’t. There’s futsal for both men and women even at college level and the University teams are going from strength to strength.

The sport that made Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo who they are today is now gracing the North East. If you enjoy watching or playing football, Bakare, and I, encourage you to give futsal a chance. With the weather already knocking freezing, there’s no better time than the present.

24

Sport

Thursday 28th October 2021 | PALATINATE

“This was football at its purest”

Jonny Tiplady describes his personal experience of watching Durham Women FC

“If people actually watch a game, they’d probably stop with the chat” George Simms talks to DU Men’s Futsal

Dreams to be made as Floodlit Cup returns Harvey Stevens

Deputy Sport Editor

St John’s A’s during their 12-2 demolition of Staff A’s in the opening game of the Floodlit Cup

DURFC eyes BUCS Super Rugby defence Abi Curran

Sport Editor Durham University Rugby Club are off to a flier in the BUCS Super Rugby League following a promising set of opening fixtures.

The club hopes to defend their title as BUCS Super Rugby Champions after 18 months without a ball being thrown, kicked or touched.

The Palatinates were relentless in their recent fixture against Bath, gaining an all-important bonus point from the 45-17 win.

An opening try from Matt Woodward inside the twelfth minute reaped the rewards of a trailblazing attack from scrums galore that just couldn’t be held up by the Bath defensive line.

And Durham know how to entertain this season. Roars from the stand and the hill alike rippled through Hollow Drift when on the stroke of half time Patrick Bishop, in true heroic style, prevented a Bath opening try after a blocked kick.

Though Bath held their heads throughout, Durham dominated.

Deserved tries from Paul Brown and Will Morris simply could not

be stopped with the pair gliding past the Bath line at points.

The Palatinate’s thrillers do not end there. A hard-fought 1313 draw against Cardiff Met in the first game of the season came to a nail-biting end with Tom Fletcher bagging a try in the final moments to secure a vital two points.

Then there was Exeter, made all the more significant by its charity match status. Durham entered half time, disappointingly, 17-5 down against a travelling Exeter side. Though with the backing of an electric crowd and a solid winning kick by Patrick Bishop, the Palatinate clad team emerged with a victorious 23-20 result.

Another win on the road at Swansea and DURFC are eyeing up a perch on top spot of the Super Rugby League.

Their biggest rivals as it stands are Exeter, and we all know who came out on top of late.

1XV Captain, Fred Davies, gave Palatinate his assessment of the recent fixtures at home and on the road: “The first four games have been a test both home and away. We have had some great results but have also learnt a lot in these early stages of a long year. It has been useful to

bring some confidence to some of the younger lads, however, among the older boys we know how long and attritional the BUCS Super Rugby League is.”

The club as a whole are going from strength to strength with the whole of DURFC’s large cohort bagging recent wins across the board against the likes of Manchester, Birmingham and Edinburgh 1XVs. Davies spoke of the atmosphere in the dressing room after 18 months without the sport at university level: “Getting back in front of crowds at Hollow Drift has been a privilege and something we’ve really missed over the last 18 months. The atmosphere in the changing rooms has been a mixture of sore bodies and immense gratitude to be back doing what we love.”

A record crowd of over 4,000 flocked to Hollow Drift for Durham’s charity game against Exeter. This was all in aid of Sport In Action, a non-governmental organisation who work throughout Zambia to improve people’s quality of life through sport and recreational activities.

In total, £12,055 was raised at the Exeter charity thriller, with

a further £2,500 raised at last week’s Bath game for ‘blOKes’, a mental health charity who focus on removing the stigma surrounding men’s mental health.

This is a continuation of the club’s commitment to raising money for charity and giving back to the local community.

Movember and NHS charity fundraisers are just a couple of successful campaigns the club has actioned of late with £9,000 raised for Movember last year.

It is this spirit which is also being championed through college rugby. Hatfield RFC’s recent game against the Philippines raised £717 for Movember. The unique fundraiser drew the crowds in to see the Philippines narrowly win 15-10.

Davies emphasised the importance of using rugby union to promote charitable initiatives, “At our home games we have a great opportunity to raise as much awareness and money for some important charities’, and also mental health campaigns, ‘The feedback has been fantastic and we shall continue to break the stigma surrounding speaking out.”

As the world focused their attention on Old Trafford last Wednesday evening, a footballing storm was also brewing over at Maiden Castle. Whilst Cristiano Ronaldo was securing a late win for Manchester United against Atalanta, St John’s A’s were putting the sword to Staff A’s.

In the opening qualifying game of the famous college Men’s Floodlit Cup, John’s were 12-2 winners over the staff side.

A double hat-trick from starman Finn Gordon meant that the boys from the Bailey will be progressing to round one.

For those who don’t know, Floodlit is the highlight of the college football season. It is Durham’s own FA Cup and follows the same knockout format. So expect upsets, penalty shootouts, ecstasy and devastation, but a guarantee of excitement.

There was no competition last year due to Covid-19 and the cup was suspended the season before when lockdown was announced in March. So the reigning champions are Hatfield A who triumphed over Josephine Butler in the final of the 2018/19 season.

Make absolutely no mistake about it: floodlit is the place where college legend is made. Under the lights at Maiden Castle is where dreams come true, but it is also where dreams are shattered.

As players and fans alike make their way across the car park at MC, there really is no other atmosphere like it.

College footballers are turned into superstars for the evening with the knowledge that they can either be the hero or the villain.

With the qualifying round now complete, eyes are all focussed to the first round of Floodlit.

Kicking off in the coming weeks, players from all around Durham will be going head-tohead with their eyes firmly on the prestigious Floodlit trophy.