G l o b a l b o i l i n g ?

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SPIKED b r e n Da n O n e i l l

AN D just like that we’ve entered a new epoch ‘The era of global warming has ended the era of global boiling has arrived decreed UN chief António Guterres last week It s hard to know what s worse: the hubris and arrogance of this globalist official who imagines he has the right to declare the start of an entire new age, or the servile compliance of the media elites who lapped up his deranged edict about the coming heat death of Earth ‘Era of global boiling has arrived and it is terrifying said the front page of the Guardian as if Guterres s word was gospel his every utterance a divine truth We urgently need to throw the waters of reason on this delirious talk of a ‘boiling’ planet Guterres issued his neo-papal bull about the boiling of our world in response to the heatwaves that have hit some countries over the past two weeks Climate change is here [and] it is terrifying he said

We see families running from the flames [and] workers collapsing in scorching heat and it is just the beginning , he said, doing his best impersonation of a 1st-century millenarian crackpot In fact forget ‘climate change’ he said Forget ‘global warming’ too What we’re witnessing is a boiling

It all brings to mind the Book of Job which warned that the serpent Leviathan would cause the seas to boil like a cauldron Leviathan s back, only we call him climate change now

The obsequious speed with which the media turned Guterres’s commandment into frontpage news was extraordinary They behaved less like reporters than like the slavish scribes of this secular god and his delusional visions World entering era of global boiling cried the Independent and we know who is responsible No prizes for guessing who that is It s you, me and the rest of our pesky species It always is ‘Planet is boiling’, one headline breezily declared confirming that Guterres’s fearful phrase his propagandistic line no doubt drawn up with the aid of spin doctors in some UN backroom is already being christened as fact

Almost instantly, media outlets started lecturing readers on how they might help to put a halt to the coming evaporation of our planet SBS in Australia advised us to ‘Reduce meat intake’ ‘Stop driving cars’ and ‘Cut down on flights’ In short stop all the fun stuff; make sacrifices to appease nature s angry gods Even self-styled radicals made themselves mouthpieces of the UN s medieval sermonising Novara Media instantly embraced global boiling as an apt metaphor for the arsonist impact humanity has had on Earth Scratch a Marxist these days, find a Malthusian Can’t we have just a little critical thinking on the idea of global boiling ? The first thing a rational mind ought to note is that boiling is when liquid turns into