We are conflictual beings

But are we doomed?

chances are that all those things that happen around us, might not be in line with our schemas; that’s why we are exposed to conflicts all around us; day in, day out. In other words, it will not be wrong to say that we are conflictual beings having a human experience on earth.The best way to illustrate conflicts emerging from schema clashes is the reaction we see in our society from people over some slogans made in the aurat March every year in Pakistan. People react over aurat March slogans because they are generally not in line with their schemas.

Mayer’s second insight is that conflict, and I think that will make the first insight more clear, exists in three shapes which comprise perception, emotion, and action.

So, if in general, conflict is defined as disagreement, it usually is present in the above-mentioned domains.

Just to make it easy, conflict in perception means if your action or speech directly or indirectly creates mere thinking or perception in another person’s mind that you are posing a threat in a real or abstract way to his/her interest, desires, wishes, likes & dislikes, and so on., you conflict with the other person whether you know this or not.

Just like perception, the conflict also exists in the emotional domain, as per Mayer. If your speech or action is creating a feeling of shyness, fear, nervousness, anger, doubt, and many other feelings like these, all these are signs of disconnect or maybe disagreement and, thus, they depict conflict. again, you don’t know which of your actions or speech can create such feelings in others, and thus you are always faced with conflicts, knowingly or unknowingly.

If we are in a position to dissect what is in front of us and embrace conflict without any negative preconceptions about it, I think we all can resolve conflicts not only in our individual lives but also in our collective lives present in the shape of society and state. After all, all you need to resolve a conflict is awareness

Regarding conflict, Mayer says that it does not take two to tango initially which means that for a conflict to start it’s not necessary that both parties must be knowing that. It can start in any party’s mind, especially if we are talking about conflict in perception, and that will automatically pull the other party into conflict through the reaction of the first party in the shape of action or behaviour. I hope the insight that was shared earlier, that conflict is an integral part of human existence, should be crystal clear now.