Vol. 48, Issue #5

Vol. 48, Issue #5

The

March 31, 2023

Knightly News

p. 4 Pace Athletics Adds Hockey Team

p. 7 Taylor Swift Concert Canceled

p. 12 Pace to Open a Zoo in Inman

Late-Start Wednesdays Come to the Pace Community

Photo: Morgan Miller

Finally, after years of debate, Pace Academy has agreed to enforce late-start Wednesdays into the weekly schedule of the high school. For many years, Pace students were envious of the Atlanta Public Schools Policy for their delayed starts on Wednesdays. Instead of a delayed start, Pace high school students usually have a 30-minute assembly that takes away their break. Junior Caroline Hood said, “Why should we have to go to a 30-minute assembly every Wednesday when we could actually be getting something more important: sleep?”

Late-start Wednesdays are about more than a shorter school day. The delayed start actually benefits the health of high school students more than one might realize. Researchers at the University of Washington and the Salk Institute for Biological Studies studied the sleeping habits of some Seattle high school stu-

Students show up to school without dealing with the carpool line. dents as they switched to starting later once a week. “This study shows a significant improvement in the sleep duration of students and all, by delaying school start times so that they’re more in line with the natural wake-up time of adolescents,” said Horacio de la Iglesia, a UW professor of biol-

ogy. Late-starts would provide students with more time to sleep which is important for their immune system function, mental health, and general well-being.

The Pace administration did not begin to even consider a change in the schedule until the school received the results back

from a recent survey conducted in the high school. Upper School Counselor Mrs. Ellye Millaway said, “We did not expect a change from the data in the previous years, and the faculty found it very concerning.” The survey showed that Pace high schoolers averaged about six

hours of sleep per night, while in the previous years students averaged about seven and a half hours of sleep per night.

“Students at this age should be getting between eight and ten hours of sleep per night for their well-being, so when we see a trend like this we know we have to make a change quickly” said Mrs. Millaway School will start at 9 a.m. every Wednesday morning. This change will eliminate Wednesday morning assemblies and also shorten the first period to a 35-minute period. Head of Upper School Mr. Gannon said, “While some teachers have pushed back on the shortening of class, we plan on implementing this plan because our priority is the health of our students.” Students now can sleep in a little longer without getting the tardy that usually accompanies sleeping in.

The late-start Wednesdays will be implemented into the schedule following the Easter Break. They will continue throughout the rest of the school year as a trial run, but students are very hopeful for its return in the 2023-2024 school year.

Mr. Marsico Takes on Wimbledon this Summer success, Mr. Marsico says, “I feel as though I am at my peak in terms of my athletic ability. I am ready to take on the challenge of Wimbledon.” Hoping to impress many celebrities as well as his family, Mr. Marsico will be repping a full Nike outfit, including custom made shoes with a pattern displaying the unit circle.

Since Wimbledon will be happening from July 3 to July 16 of this year, Pace students have

been conversing with teachers in an attempt to create an ICGL trip to England. Although there is already a trip to England and France, students are pushing for a second one. While the main purpose of this trip serves to allow students to watch Mr. Marsico dominate the court, students have obviously also been pitching the academic benefits of visiting England. The verdict on this trip still remains unan-

swered but students are hopeful.

In May, students and faculty can look forward to a Wednesday morning assembly given by Mr. Marsico about Wimbledon and the ways to support him on this journey. As Pace’s tennis team is now in season, Mr. Marsico has never been more locked in and ready to step onto the court and compete with the world’s greatest tennis players.

Photo: Marley Venturi

Usually, summer marks a time of rest and relaxation for students and teachers across the country. However, for Upper School Math Teacher Mr. Matt Marsico, this summer holds an exciting trip to London, England where he will compete in the world’s oldest tennis tournament, Wimbledon. After graduating as an Academic All-American tennis player at Berry College, Mr. Marsico has dreamed of this day.

Post graduation, Mr. Marsico slowed down and settled into his life. He married his wife and became a father to two sons, Carter and Logan. While stepping into his role of being a new dad and teaching math to high school students, Mr. Marsico never stopped playing tennis. Day in and day out Mr. Marsico constantly worked to better himself on the court.

Upon moving to Atlanta in 2014 and assuming his new job

at Pace Academy, Mr. Marsico decided to take on the role of Varsity mens and womens tennis coach. As a coach, Mr. Marsico was able to foster a deeper love of tennis inside each of his players which then further ignited the fire within himself. After repeatedly winning multiple state championships at Pace, Mr. Marsico decided it was finally time to dream bigger.

After Wimbledon 2022, Mr. Marsico began training harder than ever before in preparation to qualify for Wimbledon 2023.

In training himself, he also trained his sons as they wanted to follow in his footsteps of tennis greatness. Mr. Marsico spent his entire salary on building a tennis court in his backyard and created a custom racket to set himself up for success. Finally, the day came, after countless competitions and grueling rallies, Mr. Marsico qualified for Wimbledon.

Receiving mentorship from tennis legend Roger Federer, Mr. Marsico feels confident about his abilities to hold his own at Wimbledon. Highly anticipating

Mr. Marsico hits a powerful serve during his first match at Wimbledon.

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April Fools!

March 31, 2023

The Knightly News - Page 2

Ms. Smith Sets PR for Fastest Model UN Announcement! minutes and 14 seconds. “I’m really proud of her,” enthusiastically whispered Upper School English teacher and Ms. Smith’s favorite colleague Dr. Don Dupree.

The question of whether or not Ms. Smith’s announcements warrant a long assembly has been debated for years, and Administrative Assistant to Head of the Upper School Mrs. Nikki McCrary is frequently annoyed with the consequences that they have on the school day. There will now be a special assembly schedule following a Ms. Smith announcement. No changes will be made to any of the class times, but unfortunately there is no time for break. Luckily, Mr. Gannon says that he may be able to squeeze a short break into the schedule when Ms. Smith breaks 25 minutes!

Photo: Julia Goode

Model United Nations chair and Pace personality Helen Smith has been at Pace for more than twice the senior class’ lifespans. But throughout all those years, only now has she accomplished what she considers to be one of the biggest feats of her career. In her decades of building Pace’s Model UN program from the ground up, Ms. Smith has created PRs (personal records) in regards to all things Model UN. Some of her records include categories like the most students to ever join Model UN in a single year, the most awards or recognitions that Pace has ever received at a single model and, most importantly, her fast-

est morning assembly announcement.

“While it’s a shame that I don’t get to spend all the time I want informing the impressionable members of the Upper School on the joys of Model UN, I suppose that your education is also important and understand that my lengthy announcements have become a problem,” remarks Ms. Smith. “I think Mr. Gannon is too afraid of me to tell me to cut them down,” she said through a laugh.

“I’m definitely not afraid of her, but I do find her drawnout announcements amusing,” responds Head of the Upper School and history teacher Michael Gannon. “At this point, her announcements are a part of the Pace charm.”

So, just how fast is Ms. Smith’s fastest announcement?

She has cut it down to a mere 37

Ms. Smith poses with her medal and trophy.

Waypay to be Replaced by the World’s Biggest Long John Silver’s Photo: Long John Silver’s and New South Consruction

Since the 1950s, the West Paces Ferry Shopping Center, affectionately known as Waypay, has been serving the Buckhead community for its food and shopping needs. Whether it is O.K. Cafe, Willy’s, or even Pala, students from the area’s schools and other residents flock to the plaza every day.

This era, however, will be coming to an end within the next year. “This place has become a mediocre dump,” said Kirk Williams, the vice-president of leasing for the shopping center’s management company. “Who even wants Chick-fil-A anyways?”

In an effort to improve the attractiveness of the area, the Lincoln Property Company has approved a plan to terminate its leases and demolish the entire shopping center. “We really need to listen to what the people want and deliver positive change,” said Williams. “I will not rest until I can get a Long John Silver’s at this location so the people of Buckhead can finally be satisfied. It’s truly the only way to save my job and city.”

After the CEO of Long John Silver’s also approved the plan, the construction firm set a grand opening date of March 2024.

“This will be our first location within the Perimeter, so it’s a big step for us,” said CEO Blain Shortreed. “I am positive that once the entirety of Buckhead becomes LJS fiends, this city

The proposed rendering depicts an upscale design at the corner of West Paces Ferry. and state will become LJS country. Those of us in the business like to shorten it to LJS, by the way.”

At 150,000 square feet with two stories and underground parking to maximize restaurant space, the restaurant will be the size of an average Costco Wholesale warehouse, making it the largest Long John Silver’s in the world by far.

With the large size of the new building, there simply will not be room for anything else to stay at the center. “Obviously we’re upset to have to say goodbye to a longstanding, profitable location,

but there’s simply no way we can compete with a restaurant of the quality and reputation of Long John Silver’s,” said Chick-fil-A CEO Andrew Cathy.

Residents in the nearby area are ecstatic about the changes to come. “When I think of perfect restaurants, the first one that comes to mind is easily Long John Silver’s,” said senior Barrett Hight. “I wish they could replace every building in Buckhead with a Long John Silver’s, but I’ll settle for just one.”

Another local senior, Kate Webb, said, “Saying I can’t wait for the giant Long John Silver’s

is an understatement. Willy’s is out and succulent seafood is in.”

The arrival of the new restaurant will also greatly improve the health of students and others in the area. By replacing the unhealthy, greasy meals from Chick-fil-A with nutritious and delicious meals from Long John Silver’s, the CDC predicts a 12 year boost to the area’s life expectancy. If the West Paces location succeeds, Congress will also propose legislation to require a Long John Silver’s within a certain radius of every school in the nation for health reasons.

“We’ve been studying the

health effects of that shopping center for years now,” said CDC director Rochelle Walensky.

“Due to the closeness of the issue, with our headquarters being just a short drive away, and the extreme impact Waypay had on residents, it has been a pet project of mine to get a high quality restaurant like Long John Silver’s to swoop in and save the city.”

The fast-food seafood giant hopes to achieve just that: saving Buckhead and the entirety of Atlanta by bringing a long-desired product in a big way.

April Fools!

Vol. 48, Issue #5

The Knightly News - Page 3

“The White Lotus” Season Three To Take Place in Atlanta, GA

Photo: HBO Max

HBO Max’s “The White Lotus” will return for season three with an all new star-studded cast and new location: Atlanta, GA. That’s right, your favorite social satire will be rolling up to Pace Academy’s home turf. In fact, it will film just down the street at the St. Regis Hotel.

“We needed somewhere that would equal the level of luxury portrayed in the first two seasons. Somewhere that really screams ‘vacation.’ After covering the tropical paradise of Hawaii and the European charm of Sicily, naturally, we ventured south,” said “White Lotus” creator and writer Mike White.

“We almost didn’t pick Atlanta because it actually seemed too obvious of a progression for the show. I mean, come on, it’s the Paris of the southeast United States.”

The new installment of the series will have some big names on set. Actor Leonardo Dicaprio will join the cast, playing a strange older man with a preference for women less than half his age. “Leo’s a method actor, it seems. We had to bring the guy on board. He’s transcendent in the role. It’s almost too real,” White said. Actress Jane Lynch of “Glee” will take over as The White Lotus hotel manager, using her natural ability to sternly reprimand people to keep out unwanted hotel guests in the show, like Lululemon-adorned

Characters enter Atlanta on the poster for “The White Lotus” season three.

Buckhead moms who will be shown infiltrating the peace of resort life.

Nicole Kidman and Queen Latifah will team up to play two women on a debaucherous girls trip at The White Lotus Atlanta. Kidman will be temporarily stepping down from her role as the face of AMC Theatres. “I think the message of my AMC ad and the message of this show are truly intertwined: ‘heartbreak feels good in a place like this.’”

Traditionally, one character’s return links each season, and viewers can look forward to actor Theo James’ comeback for season three, continuing to play cheating husband Cameron.

“You guys thought you were done with old Cam’s antics. Just

you wait. And now he’s got a whole slew of Buckhead moms right in front of him.” Cameron’s wife, Daphne, portrayed

by Meghann Fahy, is noticeably absent from the third season according to reports.

The season will open in classic “White Lotus” fashion: a mysterious death will mar the tranquility of the resort. This time, the beloved Atlanta tradition of street racing will end catastrophically when a body is discovered outside of the Umi sushi restaurant, dangerously near The White Lotus Atlanta.

Viewers will have to wait and see who will fall victim until the end of the season.

The new season will include its typical painfully awkward, drawn out interactions, and

even more drama and intrigue.

The first twenty five minutes of episode one will focus on The White Lotus hotel guests’ arrival: an hour in West Paces Ferry traffic. “It’s all about the journey. The car ride will present us with the perfect opportunity to show initial familial and marital friction between the characters. We want tensions running high by the time they’re passing the Governor’s mansion.

There might even be a screaming match.” To stick with the traditional Buckhead tradition, guests will arrive in Jeeps and Range Rovers and be greeted by White Lotus staff portrayed by Martin Short, Lea Michelle and Bowen Eagleson.

Additionally, like the scuba day or wine tour day trips in

the previous two seasons, hotel guests in the show can venture out into the area to explore.

Dining at Whole Foods or Goldberg’s, the culinary luxury simply cannot be beat. Guests will be shown exploring Atlanta’s beautiful bodies of water, like the Chattahoochee River or a day trip to scenic Lake Lanier.

“Mike really nailed it with this location. I’m sad that my character was killed off before the Atlanta season. After Sicily’s sprawling beaches, she would have loved this step up,” said former “White Lotus” star Jennifer Coolidge.

Viewers can look forward to the new installment of “The White Lotus” hitting the small screen in fall 2023.

Chick-fil-A to Implement New Changes

Photo: Etan Gerber

will become the first cow product sold at Chick-fil-A. Internet star That Vegan Teacher told her followers “I can’t wait to try the new ChicBurger. I was surprised to see that they are serving cow because I always see those “eat In February of 2023, Chickmor chikin” billboards. But I fil-A introduced their new will be dining at Chick-fil-A on Cauliflower sandwich. The Cau- April 31.” liflower sandwich is two dollars Previously, Chick-fil-A more than the Chicken sandwich remained closed on Sunday. Foland is allegedly less filling. Following protest at the Chick-fil-A lowing the disapon West Paces pointment caused “The issue really Ferry, the locaby the Cauliflower meant a lot to me, so I tion has decided Sandwich, Chickdecided to gather some to open its doors fil-A CEO Andrew friends to join me in on Sunday. Pace Truett Cathy stated protest.” sophomore “We are disappoint- Akshay Tolmare Akshay Tolmare ed that we let our who took part in customers down. We the protest told will work day and night to come Fox 5 News “I love Chick-fil-A up with something new to please and there was no worse feeling our customers.” than not being able to make my On February 29, Chick-fil-A daily Chick-fil-A run. I used to announced the creation of their hate Sundays because Chicknew ChicBurger. The Chicfil-A wasn’t open and I could Burger is set to be released and not even go to school. The issue be sold in stores starting April really meant a lot to me, so I 31. Despite many billboards and decided to gather some friends advertisements, the sandwich to join me in protest.” On March

Chick-fil-A fanatics assemble to protest the restaurant’s hours of operation.

6, Chick-fil-A announced that their location on West Paces Ferry will be open on Sundays. Following his successful cry for change,

Jackson Washburn, who was at the protest on March 6, went on to say “This is the greatest day of my life. Nothing compares to

my love for Chick-fil-A. I can’t wait to have access to Chick-filA every single day.”

April Fools!

March 31, 2023

The Knightly News - Page 4

Alix Earle to Speak at Graduation

Photo: Alix Earle

On May 18, prepared, confident citizens of the world will commence their journey as Pace alumni at the Class of 2023’s graduation. Pace Academy’s long-honored tradition of inviting a speaker to ring in the occasion and offer advice to the new grads has boasted the likes of literal superhero Robert Downey Jr. and NFL MVP Matt Ryan.

“As the most highly-anticipated graduation event, these speakers are picked with thoughtful care,” elaborated Head of Upper School, Michael Gannon, “Lovett and Westminster like to pick anyone off the street to do their commencement, but that’s just not us.”

Gannon exhausted his months-long search for the perfect speaker until one day the solution popped up on his For You Page while he was scrolling on TikTok. “I was indulging in my usual nightly Tok viewing, when suddenly I saw her,” referring to Alix Earle, TikTok’s newest sensation. “She was lip syncing

to an audio sharing profound advice, something along the lines of ‘she broke, I’m up’ if I can recall correctly.” This sound piece of guidance, along with her entrancing fashion sense, made it clear she would be the perfect choice in leading commencement. “From the first moment I saw her, I knew she would be the one to guide the class of 2023 to future greatness.”

The 22-year-old New Jersey native is a senior at the University of Miami, studying marketing at the acclaimed Herbert Business School; however her real talents lie on her digital platforms. With over 5 million followers, she has taken TikTok over by a storm, going on brand trips to Dubai and signing multiple partnerships and brand deals.

Fred Assaf shared “When we’re talking about somebody who really has the courage to strive for excellence, there’s only one name that comes to mind: Alix.” Negotiating with such an acclaimed level of starpower, Assaf had to be creative when reaching out, opting for a DM, to which Earle responded: “hey girlie! i would love to be at graduation.”

The news was revealed to

Earle’s devoted followers when she posted a “Get ready with me for Pace Graduation’’ video, which sent the Pace seniors into a frenzy. Senior Barrett Hight shared his adoration for Earle, “I love her work. Honestly, my daily highlight is watching her hauls. Getting the chance to hear her insight at graduation is something I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams.” The underclassmen were shocked by the news and even overwhelmed by their jealousy.

“Everyone dreams of meeting someone like her,” shared Sophomore Langston Baptiste, “I wish I was a senior.”

The commencement ceremony is one full of emotion and vigor, which Earle is sure to cater to with her outgoing personality and boundless charm.

She is implementing her own twists on the event, including ditching the traditional cap and gown, and gifting a generous 50K toward any cosmetic procedures which the new alums wish to undergo as her grad present.

The Pace community is excited to welcome such a force to the Academy.

Alix Earle speaks at Graduation.

Pace Athletics Adds Hockey Team

Photo: Jacksonvilleicemen

As of Aug. 2023 of next school year, the Knights’ hockey team will join Pace Academy Athletics. Funded by the booster club and athletic department chair Mr. Chad Wabrek, the hockey rink will be constructed this summer, replacing the lower field. Pace’s rink will “mimic the National Hockey League (NHL) rink, the Bell Centre located in Quebec, Canada,” said Mr. Wabrek.

The athletic department continues to inform students of what this rink and team will include.

The upcoming hockey facility will contain a 200 feet by 85 feet ice sheet enclosed by boards and plexiglass, a game clock, hockey nets measuring at approximately four feet tall and six feet wide, seating capacity of 500, heated locker rooms and a concession area.

Despite the costly facility, Mr. Wabrek states that “the hardest part of this project was choosing a coach.” With this, the coaching staff is led by Atlanta Gladiator’s forward and captain, Mr. Eric Neiley along with his wife, upper school English teacher Mrs. Tamara Neiley.

Mr. and Mrs. Neiley both played hockey at Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire and Mr. Neiley went on to play collegiate hockey at Dartmouth College.

Mr. Neiley has played professionally for 8 years, but is ready to retire as a coach. “I’m really

Future Pace Academy hockey coach Eric Neiley competes in a game. excited to bring hockey to south- grades, but offers only varsity ern states. Not only do I have team spots. However, as most a love for the game, but I also high schools in Fulton County believe it creates don’t have “The Canada trip is a great hockey teams, and establishes a unique culture opportunity to introduce the team members that usually only role sports play in the develop- will be travelexists in northern ing around ment of the country’s culture the globe to areas,” said Mr. and values.”

Neiley. play. Game The hockey destinations season will include Verrun through early October to mont, Canada, Connecticut and mid- February. The upcoming Pennsylvania. boys hockey team is open to all The non-domestic trip to

Montreal, Canada also acts as an Isdel Center for Global Leadership (ICGL) opportunity, as players take a deep dive into the history of hockey. “The Canada trip is a great opportunity to introduce the role sports play in the development of a country’s culture and values,” said Mrs. Neiley.

The addition of a hockey team to Pace, in the eyes of the Neileys, not only allows students to participate in a new sport, but it also brings aspects of their

childhood to the work place.

Mr. Wabrek, who also played hockey as a kid, has coordinated with upper school science teacher Mr. Kevin Ballard, who also directs the Pace basketball pickup games every Friday morning.

With hesitation and slight dejection, Mr. Ballard has agreed to shift this pick-up basketball to every other Friday for the 2023 to 2024 school year, allowing for a teacher and student run pick-up hockey association during the winter season.

April Fools!

Vol. 48 Issue #5

The Knightly News - Page 5

Long Assemblies to be Scheduled Every Morning

Photo: Ellie Siskin

It’s a Wednesday morning, and Pace students dart up the FAC stairs full of excitement.

Their enthusiasm, however, is not for the enthralling student announcements or the long awaited 80 minute period coming soon, but instead for the chance to listen to a coveted long assembly. From business professionals to technology experts, long assemblies give students a chance to immerse themselves in new topics and learn from experts. There truly is no better way to start an early morning.

Luckily for long assembly fans, they will soon be an everyday occurance in the Upper School.

Students will look forward to sitting in their assembly seats every morning.

The Pace Isdell Center for Global Leadership (ICGL) is always looking for opportunities to engage students in world issues, and could not be more excited to get this chance

every morning. “The possibilities are endless!” said Associate Director of the ICGL Mr. Ted Ward.

“With so many more open spots in our schedule just for learning, guest speak-

ers can expose students to countless new cultures and topics that would have never been possible in the past.” The ICGL has already begun research on experts they want to bring

in to talk about current issues, ranging from climate change to world poverty.

They also plan to expand on the monthly Kahoots to fill space in the assembly schedule.

Aside from ICGL Speakers, other enthusiastic teachers plan to incorporate their ideas into the schedule. Biology teacher Dr. Kaylan Haizlip wants to find time to discuss viruses and diseases plaguing the world.

Spanish teacher Mrs. Jenna Dwyer’s AP class can’t wait to elaborate on cultural comparisons across the globe. Spanish teacher Dr. Paula Pontes wants to teach students about Disney lyrics with a school-wide singalong.

Overall, students should expect a variety of exciting topics to jump start their morning.

Despite their excite-

ment for more assemblies, many students have already complained about their break being taken away permanently. “Break is a vital part of my day,” said junior Eva Tucker. “I would not be able to get through the day without the time to socialize and get a snack.” However, many teachers see this as an opportunity for students to better organize themselves. The tendency for students to cram work into the quick twenty minutes now will become impossible, forcing them to plan ahead for homework.

With the new policy in place next semester, the morning excitement will not only be limited to late- start Wednesdays!

Students should expect to expand their knowledge every morning with oneof-a-kind presentations.

Dr. Pearson Found to be Bas- Mr. Hamburger Retires to ketball and Social Media Star Become Folk Singer Co-Editors in Chief: Landon Goldstein Alexis Wilkins

an anonymous tip that Dr. Pearson is The Professor, suspicion arose across Pace Academy. This led to the creation of the student lead Pace Bureau of Investigation, otherwise known as the PBI. Once the PBI was created, clues came pouring in that physics teacher Dr. Pearson was good at basketball. Next, the PBI was able to obtain security footage from when Dr. Pearson played basketball during PAPUBA and compared it to The Professor’s highlights from his professional career.

The final confirmation of The Professor’s identity occurred when he was present during the 2023 NBA Slam Dunk Contest on February 18th. The PBI was able to confirm that just the day before, Dr. Pearson began a leave of absence whereupon the Pace teacher flew out to Salt Lake City Utah to attend the NBA All-Star Weekend.

Photo: Etan Gerber

Dr. Pearson shows off his skills in an early 2000’s Basketball Game.

Lifestyle Editor: Sloan Wyatt Librarian, Model UN instructor and swimming coach Marty Hamburger has a hidden talent: he is a prodigious guitarist. In fact, he has just announced he will be retiring from Pace Academy to go on a world tour as a folk singer.

Students were not surprised by this development. Sophomore Van Muller heard much about Hamburger’s music career on the plane to a Model UN event in Georgetown.

“I suspected for a long time that Mr. Hamburger would become a folk singer,” they say. “He just has that pizzazz.”

Mr. Hamburger writes his own music and had been using the middle school tradition of the ‘bookmobile’ to test out new songs. But, he says, his band Hot Tamale Ringwald was “on an extended hiatus for the last year,” so he hadn’t had any outlet for his music and decided to go solo and play at open mics around town.

Although he enjoyed playing locally, Mr. Hamburger knew it was time to pursue his music career more fully. Last week he turned in his resignation and is now preparing to release an album before his world tour.

Mr. Hamburger has been playing guitar for 20 years and has always been a music fanatic. “I listen to a lot of Rolling Stones and Americana, like Uncle Tu-

Opinion Editor: Amy Butler Sports Editor: Michael Simon

Photo: Megan Klingler

Despite his desperate attempts to hide his true identity, and following an in-depth and highly thorough investigation, we can report that Pace Head of the Science Department and teacher John Pearson is in fact the legendary streetball and former professional basketball player commonly known as “The Professor.” This revelation, first revealed here in our very own Knightly News, resolves many long-held unsolved mysteries.

Basketball legend The Professor started his professional career playing for the Salem Stampede in 2006. Next, he played for the Atlanta Krunk where he averaged just under five points a game. Despite putting in time in the game and accruing an admirable basketball record, the court is not where The

Professor got his first taste of fame. His first window of true fame came in 2009 when he joined the AND1 Mixtape Tour. The Professor’s career took a surprising turn from athlete to actor when he starred in the movie “Ball Don’t Lie.” This role was followed by turns for The Professor in the film “Semi-Pro” with Will Ferrell and “Hustle,” which starred Adam Sandler.

Building off this base, The Professor is now most notable for his social media presence.

He has currently racked up 4.6 million followers on Instagram, 6.2 million followers on Tik Tok and a whopping 7.2 million followers on Youtube, where he films basketball content. Throughout this time building a sports and media empire, The Professor has managed to keep his true identity a secret.

This social media fame, however, is what led to his downfall. Following

Managing Editor: Jonathan Rushton

Marty Hamburger smiles at the Grammys Red Carpet. pelo and Sunbolt,” he says.

That influence is obvious in his hit single “Don’t Go to School Naked” which is available on Spotify.

The beloved librarian has already begun to accumulate fame and has even been rumored to be a top choice for the “Best New Artist” award at the Grammys next year. Although the Pace Community is sad to see him go, we will always support Mr. Hamburger in his quest for fame. Student Council has even announced that

they will buy tickets to the Atlanta stop of his tour for every Pace student.

Unfortunately, his concert is scheduled for April 28th and 29th, meaning that it coincides with the Taylor Swift Eras Tour. However, Mr. Assaf has mandated that Pace Academy students support their faculty and attend Marty Hamburger’s event instead, so there will surely be great support for Hamburger in his debut appearance.

March 31, 2023

April Fools!

The Knightly News - Page 6

Student Health Center Comes to Pace this April

Co-Editors-in-Chief: Emmy Mininberg Jack Wagreich Mary Amelia Weiss

are perfect for 53 minute naps. The couches and chairs are not the only places for students to get their welldeserved rest. Arthur Blank is supplying the high-tech center with 5 float pods. These pods contain 12 inches of water and 1000 pounds of Epsom salt each. Epsom salt releases toxins from your body and creates the perfect sleep environment. These pods are scientifically proven to make fifty-three minutes of sleep feel like three hours.

Tom Brady and Lebron James used float pods their whole career. In my interview with Tom Brady he said, “without those pods, my career would have ended at 36.”

The health center also has pool and ping-pong tables.

Playing pool and ping-pong has been proven to release stress and increase dopamine levels. The health center is extraordinary and is perfect for Pace Academy.

The goal of the health center is to support students’ mental health. Pace Academy did an absolutely incredible job on the student center. This is the best innovation in schools since recess and will no doubt be an idea that many schools will try and copy. The generosity of Mr. Assaf and Mr. Blank was key to perfecting the center.

The center opens on April 2, 2023, to all Pace Academy high school students. Students should rush to the center as soon as it opens and try out all of the relaxing features the center has to offer.

Managing Editor: Marley Venturi Current Affairs Editor David Fu Multimedia Editor: Stella Nelson Opinion Editor: Andrew Swann Pace News Editor: Alice Gash

Sports Editor: Harrison Leusink Photos Editor: Zachary Meyerowitz Lifestyle Editor: Reed Millner Social Media Editor: Bianca Vaneri Visuals Editor: Ellie Siskin Layout Editor: Kaci McCray Web Content Creator: Caitlyn Pinsker

Staff Writers: Etan Gerber, Julia Goode, Megan Klingler, Sydney Lettes, Corey Lochan, Hannah Much, Harrison Silver Faculty Adviser: Tamara Neiley Tech Adviser: Matt Walker

Editorial Policy The Knightly News is the student-run newspaper of Pace Academy. For over 40 years it has reported the news that affects Pace, as well as the opinions of students.

The Knightly News is published by the students of Pace Academy, and approximately 600 copies are printed by School Publications Company.

The Knightly News welcomes letters to the editor and guest opinions, which may be edited for spelling and grammar, as well as space constraints.

Neither Knightly News-generated opinion pieces nor guest opinions are reflective of the official policy of Pace Academy.

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Check Out More Stories Online Sensory deprivation float tanks Arthur Blank bought for Pace Academy Student Center.

Ted & Company Will Tour One Last Time

ers and guitarists of the band, will miss Ward deeply.

The two have decided to form a new band for the 2024 season, naming themselves: Dead & Company.

Scoring an interview with Ward is no easy feat, but I was lucky enough to stumble into his first-floor office as he was relaxing with his feet on the desk and rocking a pair of classic Lennon round-frame sunglasses.

The band, who is known for their long-winded sets and

Ted becomes the center of the band’s new logo for their final tour.

LeBron James Beats Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s Scoring Record- Hannah Much fervent fanbase, plans to perform in Atlanta at the end of May. Ward has already expressed his interest in adding another night of shows solely for the Pace community.

“I know there are some true T&C fans out there in the halls, and I understand that getting tickets can be quite competitive.” After the disaster with Taylor Swift tickets earlier this year, Ward brought the entire band before Congress as a witness to testify against the horrifying actions of Live Nation. He even began raffling off tickets to students and teachers during morning assemblies. Mr. Gannon was shocked by Ward’s far-reaching influence across the student body. “I’ve never seen a crowd of teenagers get that excited at eight in the morning,” he said.

Seniors Charlie Fleming and Cele Camp, two huge TedHeads, are often seen wearing the famed “steal your face” logo of the original Grateful Dead. “I listen to their music everyday on my way home from school. I think I’m the biggest TedHead at Pace,” Fleming shared. Mr. David Matanes, Spanish and French teacher, has served as a roadie for the band over the past couple of years. His involvement has been a formative experience in joining the music industry, and he will set off in June to record his first record. Junior Henry Levinson, who worked closely with Ward during ICGL trips, listened to all of the band’s concerts and records while in the car with the guitar hero himself.

Ward is retiring to spend more time with his Pace family. His dedication to education, from community awareness to AP comparative politics, resonates with students across the lower, middle and upper schools. If you see him jumping into his 60s-style van or tye-dying with his history class in the back parking lot, make sure to throw him a peace sign and wish him well on his closing 2023 performance.

Photo: Jack Wagreich

The time has finally arrived for Mr. Ted Ward, master guitarist, promoter of peace and icon of community engagement, to hang up his mighty instrument. Pace has merely served as a side hustle for his true passion: leading Ted & Company on global tours. The group, which was formed in Ward’s mother’s basement, wrote their numerous hits with only half-frozen pizza bagels and red “I think it’s time Kool Aid as brainto stop strumming the food. Their endless catalog, from old ax and start plantin’ “Sugaree” to “Ber- some trees, cleanin’ up the tha,” has united community and teachin’ hipsters worldwide. After the young.” sitting down with Rolling Stone magazine, Ward shared his bittersweet conclusion to this musical chapter of his life. “I think it’s time to stop strumming the old ax and start plantin’ some trees, cleanin’ up the community and teachin’ the young.” Bob Weir and John Mayer, co-sing-

966 West Paces Ferry Road, NW Atlanta, Georgia 30327 (404) 262-1345 knightlynews@paceacademy.org

Photo:RoyalSpa.com

Due to the extreme generosity of Head of School Fred Assaf, Pace Academy will now be using his old house as a student health center. The house is located right next to Pace, and students can use it from 6:00 a.m. till 5:30 p.m. The student center will consist of fifteen beds, three couches, a ping pong table, a pool table, six TVs and access to the pool in the backyard. The goal of the new student center is to promote student health at Pace Academy. Students work extremely hard, and they need a well-deserved break.

The student center will be available throughout the day, and students can go whenever they need to. The student council has been in intense bargaining with Mr. Assaf on some of the rules about the center, and the results have just been finalized. Mr. Assaf agreed that students will be allowed to skip five classes per semester.

During those skipped classes, you can go to the student center and sleep. Sophomore student Council President Nicholas Demba said, “We were in intense negotiations with the school board, but we did not give up on our goal of five skipped classes per semester.”

Sleep is an extremely important part of a student’s life. The Pace Academy students have five hours of homework a night, and on average get about six and a half hours of sleep every night. However, when students have tests, most of them do not sleep at all, and they just roll into the next day. Senior Cele Camp said, “I get about four hours of sleep every night and pull two allnighters a week.” Students do all of this homework and stay up so late, just to be penalized for falling asleep in class, or during break. It is never a student’s fault if they fall asleep in class. However, the student center was created so that students could occasionally skip a class and get a much-needed break. Teachers also need sleep, but they will not be permitted in the student health center.

The student health center is an oasis where Pace Academy students can rejuvenate and get their much-needed relaxation.

The health center is equipped with the latest technology. First, the student council has installed a diving board in the pool for when students need to do a cannonball to release all their stress. Next, the student council bought six comfy couches and four La-Z-Boys. I have personally tested every couch and La-Z-Boy, and they

The Knightly News

April Fools!

Vol. 48 Issue #5

The Knightly News - Page 7

National Emergency Declared After Mrs. Washburn Seen Not Smiling

Photo: Corey Lochan

Students across the Academy know the enormity and frequency of Mrs. Emily Washburn’s smile. “My mom smiles so much because she thinks that if she doesn’t, her only copy of her favorite book ‘Beloved’ will be lost forever,” said sophomore Jackson Washburn. “One time, I walked into her room at night and saw her fast asleep with the largest smile I’ve ever seen on a human being.” This past week, however, the smile has been nowhere to be found. “I was really devastated to see the strange and unusual sight of a frowning Mrs. Washburn since her smile just lights up the whole world,” said senior Brian Lee. “How am I supposed to survive without it?”

Bright students were quick to notice the change, prompting fears of a robotic or holographic replacement of the English teacher and making some believe that the real Mrs. Washburn could be in danger. “I am so scared, I stayed up all night last night shaking and wondering if this new Mrs. Washburn could be evil or something” said senior

Mrs. Washburn stands strangely expressionless after a successful Harkness discussion.

Oliver Loree. “And worst of all, this could greatly change the dynamic at the Harkness table!”

After a classified investigation, though, the administration has discovered that this unsmiling being was, in fact, Mrs. Washburn, and the lack of a smile could be a sign of unfortunate events to come.

Immediately after the investigation, the administration began

its 300-page-long “Mrs. Washburn Non-Smile Action Plan,” which details the steps to take to remedy the situation. The steps include placing security personnel around the school, closing fire curtains to contain potential disasters and conducting a school-wide Harkness discussion on the significance of her facial expressions. The matter has also been escalated to the appropriate

authorities, including the Georgia Department of Public Safety and the FBI due to the peculiar nature of the situation. “This is affecting the English department greatly,” said English department chair Mr. Bailey Player.

I’m scared to even hold classes with the constant fear I feel.”

Both Governor Brian Kemp and President Joe Biden have issued statewide and nationwide

won’t get the chance to watch her sing. “This case is already receiving more attention than the Depp-Heard case,” said an anonymous judge. “People are actually trying to hack the system to get jury duty, so they can let their icon win. I didn’t even know that was possible. It truly takes a mastermind.”

“Look what you made me do,” said Swift in reference to

Ticketmaster. “I knew you were trouble, but I trusted you and now I have to let down millions of people in one of my favorite cities. Now, what I want is better than revenge.”The star is suing Ticketmaster for 65 million dollars, and most agree that it should be even more because the company deserves karma for its terrible glitches when people were trying to purchase their

states of emergency, respectively. As expected, the governor also called the Georgia National Guard to stand by for any potential emergencies that this incident could foreshadow. The president has also redirected the Chinese Spy Balloon division of the Air Force to monitor the situation. “This is a cause for great concern and a time for Americans to remain vigilant across the country,” said Biden.

“I’ve been in government for a long, long time and I’ve never in my life seen something so worrying.”

The federal government has also placed the entire military on high alert. For the first time in history, the U.S. is operating under DEFCON 1 protocols, the highest level of military readiness possible. Typically reserved for imminent nuclear attacks, the protocols will ensure that the armed forces can handle any future danger predicted by Mrs. Washburn.

The United Nations Security Council has also began preparations for a number of catastrophes that could be coming.

It remains impossible to know what the catastrophe is, but if Mrs. Washburn is not smiling, peace and safety are simply not in the near future.

Taylor Swift Atlanta Concert Canceled

Photo: Los Angeles Times

On March 29, Taylor Swift announced that she has indefinitely canceled her Atlanta Eras concert. Instead, she will be going to court to fight the injustices of Ticketmaster. Millions of people across Georgia have already started protesting. They are not as angry at the artist, however, as they are with the monopoly.

“Don’t blame me even though I did something bad,” said Swift.

“It’s one of my wildest dreams to come back to Atlanta, but for now, the fans will have to just shake it off.” Unfortunately for fans, Swift has made it clear that Ticketmaster needs to be the target of her attention because she feels that they ripped her off.

Ticketmaster has been very quiet on the matter. “It’s a delicate situation, and it’s not really our style to share the details,” said a representative. “But to all the Taylor fans out there, you need to calm down.”

However, Swift is making strides to resolve the new blank space in all of our lives where a concert used to be. According to Swift, the case will take place in Atlanta and will be televised, so while we can’t watch her sing, we can watch her singlehandedly take down one of the most powerful companies in the

Taylor Swift sings live at a concert. world. “I know this case will go all too well for me and all of my amazing fans,” said Swift. “We will win the great war against Ticketmaster!”

After each day’s trial, Swift will stay back for two hours to meet fans who come. This once in a lifetime opportunity has everyone talking, so hundreds of thousands of people have already forgotten about the fact that they

tickets.

Hopefully, this will be the last time we will have any issues with Ticketmaster, and if we stay beautiful, kind and supportive, maybe the star will stay stay stay in Atlanta for a little longer and perform a concert for us. Long story short, don’t have bad blood for Swift, be mad at Ticketmaster!

April Fools!

March 31, 2023

The Knightly News - Page 8

Nobu Sushi Bar to Open in Inman Center

Photo: Hannah Much

Japanese celebrity Chef and owner of Nobu restaurants and hotels Nobu Matsuhisa fell in love with Atlanta while opening up a Nobu location adjacent to Phipps Plaza mall. Chef Nobu decided to bring his family from Los Angeles to Atlanta and he needed a school to send his grandchildren to. Obviously, his choice was Pace.

Head of School Fred Assaf told the Knightly News, “I heard that Lovett had hired Long John Silvers to take over their food service and that Westminster was about to ink a deal with Captain D’s - so I knew we had to swim fast to reel in Nobu.”

To compete with our rivals he brought in Chef Nobu.

Chef Nobu announced that he will be replacing Flik in the Inman Center cafeteria on an Instagram live stream. Chef Nobu is happy with this offer because his grandchildren would get to eat healthy food at the cafeteria. Head of the Upper School Michael Gannon assured us that “It will be much healthier than the hot dogs and chicken fingers we typically eat.”

Mr. Gannon is thrilled about this change, and he said “I think the chef at Nobu will do an outstanding job. I’m looking forward to his yellowtail jalapeno.” His excitement was shared with many of the other students. To compete with Lovett and Westminster, Mr. Assaf made sure that “the

Chef Nobu cuts the rope at the castle.

Chef will serve fried sushi rolls on Friday!”

This Summer, construction and architecture teams will work hard to facilitate this change in the cafeteria.

The cafeteria remodel will include the building of a large sushi bar. Chef Nobu will train his chefs to be able to work at the prestigious cafeteria.

The cafeteria will include complementary edamame, ginger, wasabi and soy sauce services. Upper School History Chair Tim Hornor says “I’m so excited. We have needed a sushi bar for a very long time.” Mr.

“It will be much healthier than the hot dogs and chicken fingers we typically eat.”

Hornor is most excited about the wasabi and he enthusiastically said “The more wasabi the better. It will wake up my students!”

Sashimi and rolls will be available every day, but the other dishes will rotate. At the request of Mr. Gannon, the yellowtail jalapeno dish will also be served once a week. To accommodate students who have fish or shellfish allergies or just don’t like sushi, the menu is promised to feature wagyu steak, teriyaki chicken and miso soup. Any time that a Pace team wins a state championship, they will serve their Bone-in Ribeye Hoba Yaki with Truffle Amazu Butter Ponzu, which usually costs $145. Junior Ansley Freudenstein explained that she is particularly excited about this course, “It will be delicious and I am A-OK with whatever they will serve because

it will be better than the Pace Academy shrimp.”

The chefs will do a great job accommodating certain dietary needs. For example, Math teacher and Clif Bar connoisseur Jason Smith says “I am looking forward to my hand-delivered, daily Bento box of Clif-bar based sushi rolls. Mmm!” Even with this exciting change, Mr. Smith affirms “I still won’t enter the cafeteria.”

Students can not wait for this change. Junior Reita Maguire shared “I am so excited to have good sushi at Pace.” Reita is most excited about the salmon sashimi that will be offered.

Ansley Freudenstein could not contain her excitement and said “I am so excited for Nobu to come to Pace! It is so good and I love sushi!”

Sophomore Aliyah Aftin

said, “I have never tried sushi before. I can’t wait to try it from the best chef.” It is very exciting that many students and faculty members will be able to try sushi for the first time from one of the best sushi restaurants at their own school. Dean of the Junior Class Caitlin Terry said, “Since I’m new to seafood, I can think of no better place to try a bunch of varieties of raw fish than at the Pace Cafeteria Sushi Bar. Why spend the money going out when I can try eel, tuna and snapper in the comfort of the dining hall after a morning of teaching?”

Unfortunately, Chef Nobu can only guarantee great ingredient quality for high school students, so Middle School students will have to pack their own lunches.

Pace Goes a Full 24 Hours Without a Student Injury

Photo: Julia Goode

If you consider yourself an athlete, whether that be through Pace or through a club, there is a 90% chance that you have been injured, and a 54% chance that you have played through said injury, according to Weinstien Legal. With the exception of golf, the Upper school has a number of high ranking and successful teams and athletes and more than enough injuries. Most of the student body will barely look twice when they see a new person waiting by the elevator or wearing a boot. At this point, it seems to be ingrained into our culture.

Surprisingly, as of Thursday, Feb. 15, the Pace Academy Athletics Department has confirmed that the Academy has in fact gone a full twenty-four hours

Mr. Wabrek congratulates the Pace community.

without a student acquiring a body’s 4,000 tendons. Tendonnew injury! itis cases can vary from person In order to fully understand to person, but Zubari says that the magnitude of this accomher “knee buckles a lot when plishment, one must put themshe walks and she still gets selves in the muscle spasms.” shoes of someone “I think it’s Most tendonitis experiencing just great that the cases, especially the downsides Pace community at Pace, are like to an injury like has banded togeth- Zubari’s in that this. Sophomore er to accomplish they derive from James Smith disand celebrate this overuse. located his knee feat.”

Now that Pace over two years knows that we ago, and has yet can go without to fully heal. “I haven’t been able injuring ourselves, imagine to play tennis in two and a half the success our athletics might years,” remarks Smith. Overall, have! Girls swimming may Smith believes that Pace does a finally place in state, ESports good job of caring for its injured athletes may feel inclined to students. However, he says “it play an actual sport, golf may would be nice if the other eleva- finally be relevant: the possitor worked. Like at all.” bilities are endless.

Like many lacrosse players Director of Athletics Chad and runners, Sophomore Amina Wabrek shares his excitement Zubari suffers from tendonitis, about this accomplishment: “I specifically in her knees. Tenthink it’s just great that the Pace donitis is characterized by the community has banded together inflammation of the tendons that to accomplish and celebrate this connect muscle and bone, and feat.” is possible in any of the human

April Fools!

Vol. 48, Issue #5

The Knightly News - Page 9

General Ock Comes to Pace Snack Bar

Photo: David Fu

On April 15, the owner of Red Hook Bodega Rahim Mohamed, or “General Ock”, will take over the snack bar. Now, students can try their most outrageous food combinations with the Ocky Way. “I am really grateful to Mr. Gannon for giving me this opportunity. Since my Tik Tok popped off, I’ve had a massive increase in customers,” said General Ock. “In the past couple of months, however, I have received fewer views on my videos and fewer customers in my store.

This is a great opportunity to rebrand my image and reinvent the Ocky way.”

Head of Upper School Michael Gannon met Ock on his winter break trip to New York.

“I heard about this Ock guy from my brother who kept on

Rahim Mohamed serving one of his iconic Ocky Way sandwiches. talking about this new bodega that popped up. I went to Red Hook and ate the most disgusting chopped cheese of all time,” said Mr. Gannon. “I really don’t understand this ‘Ocky’ guy. I mean why is he so popular?”

Fortunately, Model United Nations advisor Helen Smith was with Mr. Gannon on his visit. “I

loved the sandwich! It was like a work of art,” said Ms. Smith.

“I just had to get Michael to bring him to Pace!” With Ock’s arrival, the snack bar will see some renovations. The snack bar will add a refrigerator with fresh meats, cheeses, vegetables and mozzarella sticks. Additionally, a flat top grill and some fry-

High School students may feel some deja vu to middle school with the new mandatory Physical Education policy for next semester. As many students have found it hard to focus all day in back-to-back rigorous classes, the Athletic Department has found an easy solution to the problem. A daily PE class is the perfect way for students to take a break from stress while engaging in healthy exercise.

Head of P.E. Department Mr. Steve Cunningham can’t wait to roll out the new program. “It has been proven that working out greatly improves the students’ mental health, so I look forward

to giving them a fun way to take a break during the school day,” he said. “We are always working to help students stay active, and we would love to extend this program to the Upper School.”

The P.E. faculty is planning to make a wide range of sports available, and students will have the opportunity to try each out.

Classic games like kickball and dodgeball will make an appearance, but a few exotic sports will also be added to the mix.

Students can learn how to play hockey with Pace’s new team, and the P.E. faculty is offering curling and figure skating on the ice. Coach John Ague will be leading a swimming unit, so upper school students can take a few laps between classes as some quick exercise. Rumor has it that Coach Ague will be reintroducing synchronized swim-

ming, a notorious unit.

After a long discussion about the attire of the class, the department decided to stick with the retro uniforms. “It’s hard to beat a classic,” said Coach Cunningham. Each student will be required to wear the simple yet elegant gray shirt with navy shorts, but forgetting to bring them to class will result in the punishment of washing the Inman windows with Middle School Dean of Students Mr. Mark Sommerville.

While hard-core athletes may complain about overworking themselves physically, added workouts will give them extra time during the day to focus on specific exercises and movements. Varsity coaches appreciate the extra time given to their players, so they can stay in better shape for their school sports

Since the beginning of time, scientists have been fighting each other over the scientific agenda of “spherical-earthers” versus “flat-earthers,” how-

ever, someone in our own Pace community has finally broken this stalemate, but not how you would expect. US World Language teacher Sr. David Matanes recently published and proved his Donut Earth Theory. This former theory, now fact, states that our precious Earth is neither spherical, cubic, pyramidal, flat or a disc with ice mountains for

borders, but rather a spherical tube, shaped like a donut with a hole in the middle, from which the moon parted ways with 2023 years ago. This theorem finally explains many of the loopholes and gaps between the spherical and flat-earther hypotheses.

The main one is the water in our oceans. Sr. Matanes proved our oceans are essentially perpetual

ers will be installed in the back for a true gourmet experience.

“Getting him down here was very difficult,” said Mr. Gannon.

“You know, I was really excited about the new grill and having some fresh breakfast food here at Pace, but now I’m just upset I got my hopes up.”

Despite Mr. Gannon’s

disapproval, many students and teachers are excited about Ock’s arrival. “Ock is coming? I love that guy!” said sophomore Ryan Merlin. “I’m gonna get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a pop tart, the Ocky Way. Can’t forget the bev!”

“Helen has told me how wonderful Ock’s food is,” said English teacher Don Dupree. “I can’t wait to try a sandwich the Ocky way .”

Still, some teachers are questioning the decision. “The Ocky way has got to be the strangest thing I have ever heard of,” said History teacher Tim Hornor. “ I mean, who throws 50 ingredients together and calls it a sandwich?

If anything, the Ocky way is a one-way ticket to the emergency room.”

“I don’t understand why anyone would like the Ocky way,” said Mr. Gannon. “It’s expensive, it tastes horrendous and it’s a waste of time. I always preach to make good choices, but this is clearly not one of them.”

Upper School to Implement Mandator y PE

Photo: Ellie SIskin Pace runners Caroline Hood and Olivia Resnick get ready for PE next year by runnung with the lower schoolers. season. “I am thrilled my players get extra time in the weight room,” said Flag Football Coach Ty Johnson. “With many of them

having busy schedules in the offseason, a little time every day dedicated to working out will keep them in great shape.”

motion machines permanently rotating around the Donut so that it never falls off into space, this also finally explains the formation of waves. Sr. Matanes also explains the phenomenon of air travel. If the world were truly spherical then we would be flying sideways which makes no sense, but according to Sr. Matanes, since the Earth is actually a Krispy Kreme Donut with a hole in the middle, any flight path can be achieved while staying horizontal. Most importantly, the night and day cycle is finally understood because the Earth spinning at hundreds of miles per hour around the sun simply makes no sense because we would get dizzy. In his proof, Matanes explains a revolving layer of chocolate glaze that glides over parts of the Earth for half of the day bringing darkness with it also known as nightfall. When asked how he came across this discovery he

explained it as such: “I was sitting one day after class watching the end of an intense game of ‘Three to the Deb’ with a competitive sophomore Spanish class. Staring at the board, Deb in hand, a doctored NASA photo of the Earth from space came up on the Apple Airplay and it hit me. I canceled class for the rest of the week and began working on my calculations and proofs in the teacher’s lounge, day and night until I was finally finished. I hope now we can work together to prove more important theories instead of fighting each other!” Nowadays since so many universities are offering “Mickey Mouse” courses, such as “Game of Thrones” and “Pizza Hut Apprenticeship,” Sr. Matanes plans to return to his alma mater, Georgetown University, to teach part-time. His new course is called Against All Odds: The Unlikely Connection between Astronomy and A Stromboli.

Señor Matanes Proves the Ear th is a Donut

Photo: Andrew Swann

Sr. Matanes has a revelation after seeing an unedited photo released by NASA.

April Fools!

March 31, 2023

The Knightly News - Page 10

Ta k ing the Ha m mer to Cel lphone s

Photo: Alice Gash

Beginning in the 20232024 school year, phones will no longer be permitted during school hours to ensure that students focus on their academics. This decision was made my Head of Upper School Michael Gannon. Mr. Gannon said, “I think that we absolutely have to ban students from having their phones because there is entirely too much Tik Tok dance filming, and mostly this is Terrence Kiel’s fault. I see no other way to stop Terrence from Tik Toking besides having all students to not have their cellphones.”

This new initiative to prohibit cellphones during the school day is to motivate students to utilize their free periods and be more mindful of getting work done. By 2020, 77 percent of schools banned the use of cellphones for nonacademic purposes, according to the Education Department. Pace

wants to join that percentage and create an environment where people are socializing with one another more and are being in the moment. According to NBC news, 50% of teens are addicted to their cellphones. Even 28% of parents are addicted too. On average, a teen’s screen time is 9 hours according to American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Phones create too much stimulation at times for young adults and distract them for long periods of time.

The number of users of social media has risen astronomically in the past few years. In 2017, 2.73 billion people worldwide used some form of social media.

Now in 2023, there are 4.89 billion users. That’s a 79% increase in just six years. Social media, including Instagram and Tik Tok, are platforms to communicate, network and share information throughout the digital world with a click of a button. However, these positives carry negative effects to mental health. According to The Washington Post, “many educators and parents alike have raised alarm about

Mr. Gannon supports the no phone policy. the growing body of research linking social media exposure to negative impacts on mental health, and experts warn that American children are already in the midst of an accelerating

mental health crisis.”

Students will still be allowed to carry their cellphones with them in their backpacks in case of an emergency or to contact their parents. If students use

their phone for nonacademic purposes during school hours, their phone will be taken and locked in a box in Dean of Students Ms. Barbakow’s office until the end of the day. Teachers in the Upper School are on board with this decision to ban the use of cellphones and think that it will create a classroom environment that is more attentive. Teachers also think that it will create a tighter knit community where conversations are less deteriorated by cellphones and that there are less artificial distractions interfering with the present. According to a Harvard research study, allowing students to have phones at school impacted test scores and long-term retention. Ms. Barbakow loves the idea of getting rid of phones and thinks that Pace should have done it sooner. “I think that banning cellphones is best for our community to have students more driven and focused on their studies. Maybe I will have to give out less study hall to kids who don’t do their homework because now they won’t have a phone to distract them.”

Pace Faculty Protests Lack of Classrooms

Photo: Megan Klinger

Many Pace teachers have banded together to join a strike.

The reason? Too few classrooms.

Many teachers have to share classrooms, like Dr. Brooks and Dr. Rogers, Mr. Bryant and Mr. Ermides, Mrs. Kann and Mrs. Riley and Ms. Barbakow and Mrs. Neiley. Mrs. Lawrence has even been relegated to the lower library classroom.

This problem causes many inconveniences for teachers who must constantly move from classroom to classroom. But the last straw for faculty members was when Pace Academy announced Head of History department Tim Hornor would be stripped of his classroom to make room for a permanent student council lounge. “It’s

Mr. Hornor joins the protest against a lack of classrooms. just unacceptable,” Mr. Hornor remarked.

The student council disagreed with Hornor’s statement.

Student Body Treasurer Jack Wagreich said, “I think it makes

perfect sense. The student council does vital work for Pace. A lounge will really help us focus when doing our important jobs, like planning the Prom.”

After this shocking an-

nouncement, teachers organized a strike, and they refused to work until Pace can ensure teachers have enough space to properly educate their students.

Because of the strike, Head

of Upper School Mr. Gannon has announced that Pace Academy will have to close for at least two weeks before they can find substitute teachers. He hopes, however, that the protesting faculty members “will come to their senses and stop this nonsense” before then. However, a more permanent solution might be in the works. There is talk of Pace planning to close down the middle school, and replace it with all-new classrooms for the upper school. One advocate of this plan is English teacher Mrs. Washburn. “I think tearing down the middle school is the perfect solution. Is the middle school even that necessary?”

Students have had mixed reactions to the strike. Some have celebrated the break in school, but others are worried about having to make up classes during the summer or even a return to online school if the faculty can’t come to an agreement.

The Ultimate Debate: Fruits Versus Roots

Photo: Harrison Leusink

Photo: Andrew Swann

April Fools!

Vol. 48, Issue #5

The Knightly News - Page 11

Doctora Pontes Hired as Disney Imagineer

Photo: Paula Pontes

Since 2004, Upper School Spanish teacher Dra. Paula Pontes has shared her love for both language and Disney with Pace students. Sadly, after 19 incredible years, she is now resigning in order to pursue a career as an “Imagineer” at Walt Disney World.

Traveling to Disney World and Disneyland for a combined 84 times total, Dra. Pontes has impressively balanced her career and her love for Disney. However, she has recently discovered that her passion for Disney is much stronger than her love for teaching Spanish. “Doctora Pontes likes teaching us grammar songs, but I think she prefers Disney songs during ‘Disney Friday,’” said sophomore Avery Berman.

While Dra. Pontes often travels to Disney World for princess races and knows how to rock a good Disney outfit, she has always felt a need for even more exposure. “I want to be as immersed in the Disney lifestyle as possible,” said Dra. Pontes.

“I eat, sleep and breathe Disney, but deep down, I have always wished to work at Disney.”The

Doctora Paula Pontes poses in front of the castle at Walt Disney World in Snow White merchandise. idea to get a job at a Disney park first came to Dra. Pontes in 2019, when she took a leave of absence

for her worldwide “Magical Disney Explosion Tour.” Seeing and meeting Disney employees,

known as “Imagineers,” from all over the world, she began to see herself in their shoes. “I met

Cinderella in France and Donald Duck in Tokyo, and they were some of the nicest Imagineers,” recalls Dra. Pontes. “Seeing their passion for their job reminded me of my own passion.”

After pondering the idea for about a year, Dra. Pontes sent in her job application during the pandemic. Next, she went through a long interview process, including Zoom interviews, in-person conferences and auditions. Finally, in December 2022, she received her official job offer: to work as Snow White at Walt Disney World. “After I got the call, I was so excited that I wore my Snow White dress for a week straight,” said Dra. Pontes.

Dra. Pontes will finish up her last semester at Pace before moving to Orlando with her husband in June. She has expressed her sadness for leaving the Pace community after 19 years. “I am so excited to spread the Disney magic, but I am going to miss the Pace magic so much,” she said. Students and colleagues alike will miss her dearly but are very excited for her new journey.

“I am going to miss Doctora so much,” said sophomore Kai Cotton. “She has done a great job sharing her love for Disney around campus, so Disney World is very lucky to have her.”

Seaman Family Commons to Turn into Permanent Admissions Room

Photo: PaceAcademy

The Seaman Family Student Commons has always been a versatile environment for students to have as a resource during the school day, whether that be for students to hangout with friends, get homework done or catch up on sleep if needed. “I love to spend my free time in the commons because I can make new memories with my friends every single day while being able to relax during the long school day,” said junior Priyanka Thotakura.

For the spring admissions season, the Commons has been turned into a holding room for parents as they wait for their child to interview. This has caused the Commons to temporarily close for students in the afternoons where they are needed to find another space to spend their free time. Some teachers have begun to see the closing of the Commons as a benefit for students’ academics.

They believe that more students are beginning to visit the library during their free periods, allowing for a more productive student to be academically focused when they enter the classroom.

“Instead of hanging out with my

friends, I have started to go to the library when the Commons are closed, and I have actually started to really enjoy it,” confirmed senior Kate Romero.

As of the 2023 fall semester, the student Commons will permanently turn into an admissions holding room. The admissions team has seen a great improvement in satisfaction of the school from parents when they spend their time waiting in the Commons. Due to this, they hope to open up the number of students able to apply to the school. “We are sorry for the inconvenience this will bring to many students, but this is a necessary step to be taken for the admissions process,” said Director of Admissions and Financial Aid Mac McCallum.

While some students see this as an opportunity to improve their studies, others are upset by the moving of spaces. “I do not want to have to spend my free time somewhere else next year, and I will fight to save the Commons!” said junior Maddox Crawford. “I understand that this may be upsetting to many, but I hope students will see this adversity as a way to benefit their daily lives by getting more of their homework done throughout the school day,” said Director of Enrollment Management Jen McGurn.

Students enjoy the atmosphere of the Commons.

April Fools!

March 31, 2023

The Knightly News - Page 12

Pace to Open a Zoo in Inman

Photo: Harrison Leusink

Photo: Harrison Leusink

go out into the countryside every day and tend to my pet bear, Igor Vodkevsky.” Dr. Sega’s close relationship with Igor: chopping trees, toasting beverages and hunting rabbits, has been a major Dr. Laurentiu Sega, a newer factor as to why he is bringing addition to the Pace Academy a zoo to Pace. He said, “This faculty, has been inspired by is only my first year here, but I his family’s recent addition, want to bring something from a python, and has decided to my home to the Academy, and I bring his love for animals to the think it will help boost student Pace campus. Dr. Sega has been morale on campus.” Dr. Sega an animal lover for the majorplans to build the zoo under the ity of his life. While living in Inman Center. Sega said, “All Romania, Sega said, “I would th the students keep their bags withem all day, and there is no need for lockers, so we might as well make use of the unused space.”

The lower floor of Inman would be a perfect place for the Pace Zoo. Most students spend their free time in Inman so there would be a perfect opportunity for students to relieve some stress by bonding with animals.

A school zoo will allow students to have an Dr. Sega stands by the new bear coming to Inman. opportunity to

Dr. Sega by the new zoo area coming to Inman. clear their heads throughout the day. Junior Ross Bernath said, “I love spending time with my frogs at home, and having an opportunity to spend time with animals at school would be lovely.

Whenever I am a little stressed out, I always look to petting my frogs to clear my head, by having that same environment at Pace, I think the school will really improve as a whole.”

Dr. Sega plans to work with the counselors here at Pace in order to maximize the benefits of the zoo. Sega said, “Getting the counselors on board with my

idea and making sure they will provide the necessary tools for students is the main goal I have for this project. Not only will it help my argument for establishing a petting zoo type of area at Pace, but it will also help provide a safe space for students to relax and destress throughout the day.”

As of right now, Sega is still working on getting the counselors on board with his idea but he said it is trending in the right direction.

Dr. Sega plans to bring some exotic animals to the Academy.

Keeping in mind the influence

he received from his family, Sega plans to make the focal point of the zoo a viper. Snakes are known for being extremely friendly, especially when they curl around your neck and snuggle with you, so Sega believes the viper will be an extremely attractive member of the zoo for students to interact with.

Sega plans to open the zoo in the fall of 2023, sorry seniors! Additionally, he plans to dedicate the zoo to the class of 2024 for being the first group of students that he taught at Pace.

Pace Parking to be Revamped

Photo:Zach Meyerowtz

As many students, faculty and parents of the Pace Community know, the back parking lot can be a mess. Before and after school and after games, the parking lot turns into a free-for-all and wait times can be hours.

Students often get frustrated being blocked in by parents and parents get nervous when students almost back into their vehicles. Pace also wants to limit car collisions within the back parking lot.

With that being said, the Pace board in accordance with the surrounding neighborhoods has decided to revamp the parking lot.

Starting over the summer, Pace will build a new state-ofthe-art parking deck designed to increase capacity, while also allowing cars to be able to exit and enter much easier. The parking deck will provide more spots for parents who are waiting and will even accommodate students within the sophomore class who can drive. Parents who wait in the carpool line will not go through the parking deck.

The parking deck is not meant for parents who desire just to sit and wait, as there will still be the carpool line for that. The parking deck’s sole function is to provide more efficient parking for Pace faculty, students and

Academy vehicles.

While this may be mildly inconvenient, the end result of the project is much needed. The logistics for the project and the shuttle are still being figured out by the coordinators, but this parking deck is needed. The parking deck and new entrance will finally bring some order to the chaos we call the Pace back parking lot.

The time of waiting 30 minutes to an hour to leave school is behind and an organized system of carpool is the future of Pace Academy.

Along with the new parking lot, the Pace community and board hopes that in the upcoming years for the start of major construction projects.

There have been talks of renovations to the back fields, reconstructing the middle school and maybe even buying out surrounding land for a closer athletic complex. While these projects may seem ambitious and far-fetched, they would surely benefit the community, school and faculty.

More parking and more construction could lead to larger class sizes, more athletic facilities and a larger campus as a whole. Pace has hopes to become one of the premier private schools of the World and desires to be reputable worldwide. A campus that could rival a public university would surely cement Pace Academy as a prestigious school worldwide.

Scenes as the Pace back parking lot that is soon to be renovated. parents when needed.

Paces Ferry. to not be completed prior to the Another way in which Pace A new gate will be added start of school, students would is improving the parking and along with a new back entrance have to park at West Paces shopcarpool scheme is the extension and exit complete with secuping center and either walk, or of the road from Pace mountain rity cameras and technology. take the shuttle. This shuttle, to the surrounding neighborwhich would be operated by hoods, allowing for an alter“The need for a better park- a rotation of teachers who native to West Paces Ferry. ing system is dire,” said Head of arrive at the crack of dawn, This will end the days of School Fred Assaf, “I am lucky to would constantly be making the massive line going up the walk to my house right next door, the trip between the shophill, causing students to wait but I feel for those who suffer in ping center and Pace. hours to exit the premises. the long lines.”

There will have to be The carpool line will now be multiple shuttles running split in half and one line will simultaneously as the traffic proceed as normal and the other Theoretically, that should cut the on West Paces Ferry will build half will follow the new path. traffic in half. Pace parking can up and the shuttle will become This new path will allow for finally be efficient. very inefficient. Pace would cars to be able to enter and exit The end date for the project even speak to the shopping centhe premises without having to is not clear, as the deck may take ter owners about reserving part deal with the bottleneck of West a few months. If the project were of the shopping center for Pace