Kink-e Kulture September 22 Edition

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KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine2 welcome KULTUREKINK-E Mistress Tokyo Pollyfilla

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 3 FESTIVALCONTENTSSPONSORS A huge thank you to all our supporters...where would we be without you!! Oz Kink Fest returns for 2022 4-5 Ticket Prices 6-7 Mz Mallice Editorial 8 Launch Party 9 Fetish Expo and Stallholders 10-11 Fetish Expo Fashion Show 12 Fetish Expo After Party 13 Ms Melbourne Rubber 14-15 Oz Kink Fest Munch 16 Hellfire Resurrection 17 Weekend Workshop Intensives 1918 New to Kink? Try These Tips! 21 Sydney Fetish Expo 22-23 Weekend IntensivesWorkshopSchedule 24-28 Weekend Workshop Intensives Course Outline 25-36 Delve into Kink at the Australian Queer Archives 38-39 Photoshoot by Dirt Dust Light 40-47 Vulnerabilities and Boundaries Article by Thista 50-52 Our Workshop Presenters & Performers 54-63 The Mindful ConsentTM Model and Process. Article Mistress Tokyo 64-65 Why Do We, As Humans, Like Scratching? Article by jhats 70 The Reality of Kink Parties 71 Fetish Market March 2022 Images 72-75 Big Ted Interview 76-77 Zen Rope 78-79 Stallholders October 2022 84-94 Why We Love Feet 95 Anal Sex and Anal Play 96-97

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine4 KINK-E OZ KINK FEST RETURNS IN 2022! OCT 14 TO 24

Event Schedule • OKF Launch Friday 14th October • Fetish Expo Saturday 15th October • Fetish Expo After Party Saturday 15th October • Hellfire Resurrection Friday 21st October • Klub Kunst Saturday 22nd October • Weekend Workshop Intensives Sat 22/Sun 23 October

Oz Kink Fest is an annual festival for the alternative and kink community of Australia based in Melbourne or Hellbourne as we like to call it. This event spans over 10 days and offers a variety of opportunities for likeminded people to be a part of, there is something for everyone! The aim of the festival is to support the community we are all part of through events that raise a sense of community spirit and help to support the many businesses and community organisations we have. Oz Kink Fest creates a unique trading and socialising environment for the Australian alternative lifestyle and fetish communities. We have put together an event that people enjoy coming to at a price that offers great value for money and in doing so we have created a safe and welcoming environment for both guests and stallholders alike. Our aim with Oz Kink Fest is to provide an event that grows with its communities and evolves to remain fresh and exciting.

HELLFIRE RESURRECTION

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine6 OZ KINK FEST VIP EVENT PASS

This event pass gains you entry to all four major events in Oz Kink Fest check out the wesite for details Fetish Expo, Fetish Expo After Party, Hellfire Resurrection and Weekend workshop Intensive (Including the stay and play party)

Oz

WEEKEND WORKSHOP INTENSIVE This is a weekend filled with 48 workshops over 2days where you get to choose 6 topics to participate in - you can select your workshops once you have booked and paid. This ticket also includes a and play party on the Saturday night of the 27th September.The venue is a private unbelievably equipped space that allows for freedom in a safe communal environment Members/ Companion/Concession WEEKEND WORKSHOP KINK LINK MEMBER Members with a KINK LINK membership discounted ticket Thi s is a weekend filled with 48 workshops over 2days where you get to choose 6 topics to participate in - you can select your workshops once you have booked and paid. This ticket also includes a stay and play party on the Saturday night of the 27th September.The venue is a private unbelievably equipped space that allows for freedom in a safe communal environment Kink Fest EVENT pass (Events Only) This

INTENSIVE

is a single ticket pass to 3 major events Fetish Expo, Fetish Expo After Party and Hellfire Resurrection Members/ Companion/Concession Oz Kink Fest EVENT pass (Events Only) This is a single ticket pass to 3 major events Fetish Expo,Fetish Expo After Party and Hellfire Resurrection KINK LINK MEMBER Oct 14-24, 2022 A$333.41 Oct 14-24, 2022 A$312.64 Oct 15, 2022 A$32.24 Oct 15, 2022 A$27.06 Oct 15, 2022 A$32.24 Oct 21, 2022 A$27.06 Oct 21, 2022 A$63.40 Oct 21, 2022 A$58.21 Oct 22/23, 2022 A$260.71 Oct 22/23, 2022 A$229.56 Oct 14-24, 2022 A$125.71 Oct 14-24, 2022 A115.32 Oz Kink Fest Ticket Prices 2022

Members OZ KINK FEST VIP EVENT PASS Members with a Kink Link membership discounted event pass which gains you entry to all four major events in Oz Kink Fest Fetish Expo, Fetish Expo After Party, Hellfire Resurrection and the Weekend Workshop Intensives (Including the Stay and Play Party) check out the web site for details FETISH EXPO This is a single entry ticket for Fetish Expo Members/ Companion/Concession FETISH EXPO Members with a KINK LINK membership discounted ticket FETISH EXPO AFTER PARTY This is a single entry ticket for Fetish Expo After Party Members/ Companion/Concession Fetish Expo After Party Members with a KINK LINK membership discounted entry

This is a single entry ticket for Fetish Expo After Party Members/ Companion/Concession HELLFIRE RESURRECTION General Admission to HELLFIRE RESURRECTION

KLUB KUNST Second Story Studios 222a Johnston Street Collingwood Weekend Workshop Intensive Saturday Pass This ticket gains you entry into 3 workshops on Saturday 22nd September from 12 noon Weekend Workshop Intensive Sunday Pass This ticket gains you entry to 3 workshops on Sunday 23rd September from 11am HELLFIRE RESURRECTION VIP Pass to secured bar area including one drink and food platter - direct viewing of the stage performances and meet the performers ! Oct 22, 2022 A$63.40 Oct 22, 2022 A$115.321 Oct 23, 2022 A$115.32 Oct 21, 2022 A$84.17 Stay & Play KLUB KUNST PLEASE NOTE IF YOU HAVE PURCHASED A WEEKEND WORKSHOP PASS THIS EVENT IS INCLUDED We return to the days of the Fetishe Salon and seduce you into a bordello of dirty sexy swing! This venue is 2 levels of kinky adventure with 15 themed rooms including private play areas, medical room, sling room, wet area for those golden players. We have dark and dirty rooms for those who wish to play hide and go beat ........... A night of pleasure and pain........... LIMITED TICKET SALES of 50 Oct 22, 2022 A$50.00 Oz Kink Fest Ticket Prices 2022

Oz Kink Fest always aims to create an engaging event for people into kink and sexual exploration. We want it to be daring, inclusive, and provide the freedom to embrace who you are. Across the festival we provide a variety of fun social and educational opportunities in safe, inclusive spaces for players of all levels and persuasions, including the newly curious. This year we feel we’ve found an excellent balance between social, educational, and entertaining experiences. Over the course of the 10 days we will present 48 weekend workshops, several mid-week workshops, a Consent Forum facilitated by Mistress Tokyo, four epic parties and an official munch, not to mention our unforgettable Fetish Expo, which will feature something new.

The finalists will be competing on the Fetish Expo stage, and the winner announced on the day! This is going to be huge, and we can’t wait to celebrate the rubber Ms’s amongst you.

We’re also thrilled to announce that Oz Kink Fest is proud to be a major sponsor of the Ms Melbourne Rubber competition, hosted by Melbourne Rubber. Melbourne Rubber is a not-for-profit social group for rubber enthusiasts and people who wish to learn. The Ms Melbourne Rubber competition is a fun and engaging event to celebrate your enthusiasm for rubber. The competition also provides an opportunity for potential community leaders to come forward. As a group who welcomes, affirms and celebrates diversity in all its forms we are enthusiastic supporters, and welcome their participation in the Oz Kink Fest program. Entries for the competition open on September 1st, 2022 via the Melbourne Rubber website. (www.MelbourneRubber.com).

Sometimes we don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone. The lack of OKF definitely left a huge gap in our lives, and we recognise many of you felt the same. So thank you all for your passion and support, and consistent engagement throughout the difficult times. All of you have helped Oz Kink Fest grow into a much-loved staple of the Australian kink calendar. We need to celebrate that.

Let the countdown begin!

Famous for the array of stallholders, performances, and Grand Fashion Show, this 2022 expo is shaping up to be huge. This year we can boast close to 60 stalls with an amazing array of fashion, toys, accessories, kink paraphernalia, and educational opportunities. Every year there are new stalls which makes the event something different each time, and this year is no exception as we welcome quite a number of first-time stallholders. Likewise, our Fetish Expo performers are a mix of past favourites and brand new talent we can’t wait to showcase. And as always we will be winding down our staged entertainment with our jaw-droppin, eye-stoppin Grand Fashion Show. And this year we have a new addition to our stage.

MZ MALLICE

After 3 years away, it’s with huge excitement, much anticipation, and massive relief that we welcome you back with wide, open arms to OZ KINK FEST. This is the fifteenth festival we’ve run, and it continues to evolve and grow – along with the events you know and love, we also have a number of ‘firsts’ on this year’s program.

EDITORIAL

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Oz Kink fest is never an easy undertaking, and even though the lockdowns and drama are over, producing a festival of this size in these unique times is definitely a challenge. Without our major sponsors and supporters this event would not get off the ground, so we send a resounding thanks to the teams at Aphrodite’s Pleasure, Lucrezia and de Sade, Adult Match Maker, and Eagle Leather. They always have our back and provide an incredible foundation for us to build this experience.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 9 Celebrating our 15th year with the launch of the festival. This is your opportunity to meet some of the presenters and performers and connect with the community before a bumper festival! Sponsored by Lucrezia De Sade your ticket price includes a free drink of sparkling or beer (non-alcoholic options available) as well as some light finger food Hosted by some of Melbourne amazing community minded kinksters Venue TBA OZ KINK FEST LAUNCH PARTY Friday 14th October 7 pm – 11 pm

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine10 Fetish Expo takes over Collingwood Town Hall and Town Hall Reserve with a unique shopping and socialising experience brimming with entertainment and education. Why not buy some chaps and have a chat? Learn about Looning while having a laugh? Grab a whip while watching the puppy and pony parade? Fetish Expo boasts over 50 specialty stalls, live DJs, demonstrations, performances, parades and the opportunity to meet and mingle with those from, arguably Australia’ s most diverse and non- judgemental community. Whether you are just dipping a toe in…. or the whole foot you are certain to find something for your bedroom (or dungeon) at Oz Kink’s Fetish Expo PERFORMANCES • Polyfilla • Sparx & MissRubyrouge • Sparkarella • ZenRope • Hadrian • SidneySidah • Sprinkle & Kerith • _M_ & Paul, • Peterotica • MORE TBA

• Claws and Clamps • Aphrodite’s Pleasure • Mpact Mplements • Tenticle Spine • Kindly Kinky • Rubber Be Mine • EmmJays Toys • Feral’s with Hooves • Pen and Kink • AdventurousCouple69 • Exotic Footwear • Hardrrr / Impeccably • G-Spot Adult Shop • Eagle Leather • Lucrezia DeSade • Fantasy Fair Adult Playwear • House of Hella The Art of Rope • Club Circle • Rogue Designs • Kirgis Creations • Wolf Custom Leather • Latex 42 • Get Lingeried! • Kick in the Eye Jewellery • Cathedral Latex • Creative By Crispy • JuJu Jezebelle • The Obtainery • Rubber Allure • Oz Gaga • Fancy Steel • Knickers N Nails • Peronable Shibari • Black Peach • BrickNetty • GrownUp Leathers • Rose Foxes • Blush n Fluffs • The Wrath of Kath Couture • Heffa the Animal • KINKYsundays • Australian Queer Archives • Leather By Hadrian • MORE TBA STALL HOLDERS Venue: Collingwood Town Hall 140 Hoddle Street Ticket Prices: $30 Pre Sale $35 at the door plus transaction fee

FETISH EXPO FASHION SHOW – 4 PM 10 amazing designers with over 100 models this is the largest and most amazing fetish fashion show in the Southern Hemisphere! With Susan Illingworth, our Fashion Director at the helm, her 12th year, this promises to be one out of the bag (or should we day off the the rack!). Don’t miss this! The Fetish Expo hopes to help patrons explore their desires and fantasies in a safe and informative environment. • Latex 42 • Miss Marie • Wolfs Custom Leather • Cathedral Latex (Penelope) • The Obtainery • Custom Creations by Anntoinette • Pollyfilla • Debauch Latex • Wrath of Kath Couture

Everyone

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Strap yourself in and prepare for the ride of your kinky life! After Fetish Expo the ballroom will transform into the home of the Saturday night After Party complete with chill out zone, dancefloor and uber dark Sharecorners!thefun and meet people who are just like you, wanting to connect on a deeper level and be a little bit naughty... or maybe a lot. The After Party is play party/dungeon party that gives kinky people the opportunity to engage in BDSM play at a public event. It is a chance to watch others interact, to meet and possibly play with new people, and show off your kink in an accepting environment. Filled with Dungeon furniture such as bondage crosses, spanking benches, padded tables and other furniture. brings their own portable toys. Ms Polyfilla, Sparx & MissRubyrouge, Zen Rope, _M_ & Paul for best outfit cash prizes sponsored by Adult Match Maker Venue: Collingwood Town Hall Hoddle Street Prices: $30 Sale $35 at the door plus transaction

Competition

Ticket

140

Pre

fee

Performances:

Saturday 15 October 2022 during the OzKink Fest Fetish Market at the Collingwood Town Hall

Building on the success of the now annual Melbourne Rubberman competition, Melbourne Rubber is proud to announce that in 2022, with support from Oz Kink Fest, we will host the inaugural Ms Melbourne Rubber Thecompetition.MsMelbourne

The Ms Melbourne Rubber competition will be held on Saturday 15 October 2022 during the Oz Kink Fetish Market at the Collingwood Town Hall.

Entries are open from now until 30 September.

Fetish Expo

Therecom are great prizes too, including the major prize of $1000 provided by Oz Kink Fest for the winner of the competition. Latex 42 is providing a $1000 voucher and is making the winner’s sash; and Eagle Leather is providing a $500 voucher.

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To enter the competition, visit www.MelbourneRubber.

Our hosts will be:

Ms Melbourne Rubber is a competition hosted by Melbourne Rubber.

• John Cheshire, Melbourne Rubberman 2017 and Mr International Rubber First Runner Up (MIRXXI)

• Mistress Tokyo – Sydney based rubberist, Professional Dominatrix and educator, focusing on BDSM and consent, Mistress Tokyo developed and launched her online consent education course “Mindful Consent” in 2022

The competition is open to female identifying Australian residents over the age of 18 years, residing in the state of Victoria.

Rubber competition is a fun and engaging event to celebrate that enthusiasm for rubber. The competition also provides an opportunity for potential community leaders to come forward.

INCORPORATING THE INNAUGURAL MISS MELBOURNE RUBBER COMPETITION

We respect our history and value the important role of Rubbermen groups worldwide. We will remain aligned with our brother groups and our histories. Inclusivity is not about turning our back on men. We saw our future as enriching our community. With this change we hope to embrace a wider group of rubberfetishists to continue to grow our community.

Melbourne Rubber welcomes, affirms and celebrates diversity in all its forms.

Melbourne Rubber acknowledges that rubber, regardless of the form that rubber takes, is appreciated by enthusiasts for a range of reasons. Whether fetish, fashion, sensuality or aesthetic, if rubber matters to you, you are welcome in Melbourne Rubber.

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Melbourne is one hell of a kinky city. Maybe there’s something in the water, or maybe the ‘four seasons in one day’ that Melbourne is famous for, makes Melburnians always on the lookout for something different – or willing and able to accept difference and change. Regardless, we are very fortunate to live in a city with such amazing fetish events, world class fetish shops and makers of kinky clothing and toys, with a populace that likes to celebrate and accept diversity, inclusion and kinky fun.

Between then and now we have marched in Pride, launched our famous birthday parties at Eagle Leather, held Melbourne Rubbermen socials across the globe, been featured on Recon Fetish App, ran community information sessions and demonstrations, and brought rubber out of the darkrooms and onto In February 2020, Melbourne Rubbermen proudly adopted their new identity as Melbourne Rubber. This new name and logo had been chosen both by the been a long time in the making. It represents a new direction, embracing an inclusive approach to our rubber fetish, inside and outside of our community.

In early 2017, Melbourne had no idea what was coming, when it allowed three rubber lovers to find each other in the same place, at the same time, with the same dream. The three kinksters in question?

For more information or to enter the competition, visit www.MelbourneRubber.com

In their kinky travels, they had seen what can only be described as a global rubber renaissance, and each knew that Melbourne needed a social latex community. With all three now sharing the same city, the same goal, and same values - they joined forces and established the Melbourne Rubbermen community that stands today. Melbourne Rubbermen took off instantly. The group grew quickly to include a team of people from all over Australia as well as organisations such as Eagle Leather, The Laird Hotel and Down an’ Dirty.

Liam Clark - the inaugural Melbourne Rubberman (2016) and first Australian Mr International Rubber Runner Up (MIRXX), Martin Memo - who just returned to Melbourne after two years enjoying the European and London Rubberman communities, and Jason Pearce - who had just decided to pack up his life in Perth, and bring his partner, his cat, and his love of latex to Melbourne.

Slick Week - our annual event celebrating all things rubbery drew a massive international crowd, and the Melbourne Rubbermen community rallied! This took us to the next level, as our quickly growing group of friendly and welcoming rubberists became the talk of the fetish town - from Manchester to Chicago, Taiwan

Melbourne Rubber is a not-for-profit social group for rubber enthusiasts and people who wish to learn.

A great way to unwind after the opening weekend of Kink Fest. Meet the crew, presenters, stall holders, attendees in a great venue. Usual munch rules apply - look for the Pink Cowboy Hat on the table. Come and chill with fellow kinksters at a great Melbourne venue by the Yarra on a Sunday evening THE OZ KINK FEST For5:00SundayMUNCH16thSeptemberPM–9:00PMthe5thyear!NopoliticsorprotocolsDetailsTBACost:Payforyourownmeals and drinks Dress code: Vanilla please

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 17 This is undoubtedly one of the best fetish nights in Australia! An unrepentant celebration of fetish culture featuring internationally renowned performers. Inspire your passions with intense visuals, couture fetish fashion, and wild stage performances from entertainers who have been featured at the world’s biggest fetish parties, An ambiance of true bliss awaits you! if you like your parties extreme, we are the right night for you...... we create multi roomed fantasy with full on dance floors, eclectic second rooms, dungeons and Largemore…….cash prizes for the best dressed from our event sponsors Adult Match Maker & Lucrezia DazzleDJDeSade:SVETAus with the colourfulness and fantasy or surrender to the excess of the latex, leather or PVC, rubber, wetlook, vinyl, fur, fishnet, lace, velvet, animal mask/cosplay, kilts, or nothing at all if you’re brave enough at this pint-sized frolicsome filth-fest! PERFORMANCES: • The_Carnie (USA), • Sparx & MissRubyrouge, • Mistress Tokyo, • Sparkarella, • Captain Ruin • More TBA Dress Code: Strict fetish Venue: Chasers Nightclub 386 Chapel St, South Yarra $55 Pre Sale $70 at the door plus transaction fee

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine18Oz Kink Fest Intensive Workshop Weekend, 50 workshops over 2 days and you get to choose 6 from the amazing variety of topics! What does my Workshop pass get me? A choice of 6 workshops over 2 days…Entry to Klub Kunst Stay Play Party on the Saturday Night. A unique opportunity to learn and socialise in an amazing venue. The weekend starts on Saturday 22nd October 2022 at 11 am There will be 9 workshops running consecutively 3 Ittimeswill be followed by Klub Kunst in this amazing fully equipped venue which is included in your weekend workshop pass And continuing on Sunday 23rd October which commences at 11 am and there will be 9 workshops running consecutively 3 times Venue: Second Story Studios 222 Johnson Street, Collingwood Ticket Prices: $250 Non-Members $220 Members

With some lovely social areas and outdoor access for smokers this event caters for everyone Dazzle us with the colourfulness and fantasy or surrender to the excess of the latex, leather or PVC, rubber, wetlook, vinyl, fur, fishnet, lace, velvet, animal mask/cosplay, kilts, or nothing at all if you’re brave enough at this pint-sized frolicsome filth-fest!

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A filthy dirty, dressed-up, messed-up hardcore players’ Klubnight! Kunst will appeal to the hardcore players who appreciate a night surrounded by like-minded kinksters, who know their boundaries and how to push them. Klub Kunst is about dressing up … we want to play with you or watch you play with each other. It’s a night of unrestricted play where anything goes! This year we have a new venue which is intimate, sexy and best of all unrestricted. We will have a large dungeon for the players filled with equipment and plenty of space to swing a whip! There are intimate playrooms filled with luscious Furnishings and play equipment ready for action!

Dress Code: Strict fetish Venue: Second Story Studios 222 Johnson Street, Collingwood Ticket Prices: $55 Pre Sale (No Door Sales)

Workshops and Skillshares:

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Social Media: There are a tonne of options for socials for fetish kink and BDSM. There are platforms like Fetlife specific to kinky people, and groups and pages within larger platforms like Facebook where kinky people can share info and chat. These groups are your best chance for discovering events that you’re comfortable attending. Being BDSM/fetish specific, Fetlife is almost a must for keeping up with events. Due to Facebook community standards, adult events of a sexy or kinky persuasion (even within private groups) can come under scrutiny, so it’s not super reliable for information, and horrendous for censorship. Twitter can be a good option too, as there is no requirement for a real name, and you can get access to a lot of NSFW content. Many kink educators and events have Twitter accounts and you can keep up with them with a simple follow.

The best way to get into kink is on your own terms, but that can be hard when you’re still trying to work out what it is you want, or who you want it with. Of course, the internet is the general place to start – in fact I sometimes wonder how people even identified and communicated their kinks prior to 2000 –but how to you make the move from online kinkster to real life connections.

Munches: So your socials are activated, you’re chatting a bit, and you’re ready to meet a few people in a relatively chill environment. You need a Munch. (Okay. But what IS that?!) Munches are a meeting of kinksters in a mainstream setting – no gear, no BDSM dress-ups, no play. They are casual, public get-togethers – mostly for people to catch up and hang out with likeminded people. Some munches are organised by fetish or BDSM role – submissive much, leather munch, littles munch – but they’re more commonly listed by location, so finding one in your area shouldn’t be too hard. If it’s your first-time, get in touch with the organiser and let them know. It’s nice for them to know a new face is heading along, so they can have some time put aside to get you welcomed and comfy. Now why not put the Oz Kink Fest munch in your calendar?

MisKnickers First published on the Adult Match Maker blog FULL ARTICLE here To Kink? These Tips

New

Try

Do you have a fetish you want to explore? Are you wanting to kink up your sex life? Is there a curious desire you need satiated?

Workshops and skillshares are terms often used interchangeably, the definition coming down to the event organiser and the term they prefer. Although workshops can tend to be more theory-focused, and skillshares more ‘hands on’, both are valuable learning opportunities for any kinkster, but particularly those new to the scene. Educating yourself is probably one of the best things you can do. When we learn about the things we love our confidence grows, and as our confidence expands so too does our ability to connect with others. Workshops and skillshares provide an opportunity to learn some valuable, tangible skills and develop your kink play, but they also a great chance to engage with other kinksters about their play.

Fetish Events: Or why not jump right in? Think of a nightclub, then imagine everyone decked out in their kinkiest finery – leather, latex, lingerie… cuffs, collars, crotchless clothes. And yes, there is dancing. There are certainly bodies moving. But are they dancing to the music, or the flogger? Do they move to the beat in their ears, or the beating of their bum? There are fetish events running in every major city, and again, it’s your social media network that will point you in the right direction. There are also an array of events on offer – club nights, private(ish) parties, balls, and dungeon events – some of which offer sex on premises, but the majority is for kink play only. Be sure to check out the dress code for these events – some will accept basic black, but if you’re going to a latex party, there’s a good chance you’ll wanna wear latex.

We’re all new at some stage, so don’t let that hold you back. The kink world holds so many beautiful possibilities so make the most of Oz Kink fest this October – there’s sure to be something for you.

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WORKSHOPWEEKENDINTENSIVESSCHEDULE

If you have purchased a VIP Pass or Full Weekend Pass it includes Klub Kunst entry on Saturday night

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Options Book HERE coming soon Meals available on the weekend: Saturday lunch $15 / Sunday lunch $15 / Both Days $25 We will provide free coffee/Tea/Water

Please arrive around an hour earlier than the commencement of the workshops so you can familiarise yourself with the layout of the venue and the structure of how the workshops will be presented - check in at the door - collect your map and explore!

There are 3 options Meal Day 1 Saturday Meal Day 2 Sunday Meal Both Days BOOK HERE: Coming soon Menu ; Spicy Chicken Wings, Sushi, Wraps – Roast Beef, Turkey, Ham, Cheese, Assorted Sandwiches – Chicken, Egg Mayo, Roast Beef, Ham & Cheese, Salad – Rocket, Feta & Beetroot, Salad – Green Mixed, Tomato, Cucumber, Capsicum, Salad –Potato, Fried Rice, Quiche, Bread Rolls, Fruit Platter

SCHEDULEchanges

The Sunday commences at 11 am and there will be 9 workshops running consecutively 3 times

Vegan options coming soon

Wear comfortable clothing

There is very little available close to the venue and very little time to leave the venue to get food. You are welcome to BYO food. We will be catering so to assist us in preparing food please pre-order your Cateringlunch

***The workshop schedule is subject to change every effort will be made to deliver the program as advertised however we retain the right to make

The weekend starts on Saturday 22nd at 12 noon (Arrive NO later than 11.30 am) There will be 9 workshops running consecutively 3 times over the course of the day Following the Saturday workshop series this is your chance to stay, play and experiment with all the things you have experienced during the day or just simply socialise and soak up what an amazing opportunity the festival has been with likeminded kinksters (PLEASE NOTE IF YOU HAVE PURCHASED A WEEKEND WORKSHOP PASS THIS EVENT IS INCLUDED)

HOW IT ALL WORKS

Make sure you have everything you need as it is not a conducive learning environment if people are uncomfortable or get up to leave a workshop - bad etiquette. CATERING

**There will be a bar however the consumption of alcohol during workshops is strictly forbidden

Be at your first workshop area at least 10 minutes before the commencement and check yourself in. (they are lock down and you cannot enter if a workshop has commenced)

PLEASE NOTE KLUB KUNST WILL HAVE A BAR –THERE IS NO BYO We ask for you cooperation in making the experience nice for everyone by turning up before your workshops start and not leaving once, you’re in. You can only do 1 workshop at a time. ie Stream 1 = 1 Stream 2 = 1 Stream 3 = 1 If you have multi booked do the right thing and cancel the workshops you don’t want to attend If you have not booked a place in the one you want, you can check out the one you want to move to once the attendees are in and join if there is space. Just be respectful of the presenter and the other attendees.

PRESENTER TOPIC SAI JAIDEN LILLITH & EVEX Ritual Kink

Mistress Misty & Alex Boi Strap-ons and Anal fisting for beginners

VIC & BEXI Scene creation both small and large scale: SATURDAY 22ND OCTOBER STREAM 2 - 2.30 TO 4.30 PM

SAI JAIDEN LILLITH & EVEX Flow and Switch MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOi Vagina fisting- Understand the pelvic region

THE_CARNIE 401 BioHazard Bootcamp: an advanced training for DMs & Concerned Citizens

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH Non-Binary theory and practice THISTA Having Fun With Needles

MISTRESS ZOE DEMURE Caning

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH Fucking with Gender THISTA An Introduction to Needle Play

PENELOPE DREADFUL Would you like cries with that? Playing for catharsis MISTRESS ELECTRA ‘Stand to Attention!’ - Slave Positions SCHEDULE

ZEN ROPE Exploring intimacy with Shibari

PENELOPE DREADFUL Yes, Please, More - Predicament play, pain, and joyful sadism

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PRESENTER TOPIC MISTRESS TOKYO Caning

The_Carnie 101 Safety & How to Engage in Play Piercing SPARX, EMERALD & MISSRUBYROUGE Introduction to shibari

WORKSHOP

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PRESENTER TOPIC

SINCLAIR SEXMITH Consent & BDSM

SUNDAY 23RD OCTOBER STREAM 4 - 11.00AM TO 1.00 PM PRESENTER TOPIC MISTRESS TOKYO Mindful Consent

PENELOPE DREADFUL Hit Me Baby One More Time! Face slapping for fun and effect

VIC & BEXI Gender diverse littles, pups, subs and curious MISTRESS ELECTRA Impulsive Bondage & Play

MISTRESS TOKYO HEAVY CBT

STREAM 3 - 5.00 TO 7.00 PM

THISTASEX

Blood Painting: Needle Play Body Art SAI JAIDEN LILLITH & EVEX Kink Emergencies

MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI Catheterisation (Male, Female and inclusive of all gender expressions)

VIC & BEXI Empowered through Kink –Woman’s only workshop in a safe space

THE_CARNIE 201 Ouch, Needles hurt! ZEN ROPE Deeper into intimacy with Shibari

SATURDAY 22ND OCTOBER

THISTA Tiny and Vicious: How To Be Mean With Little Needles MISTRESS ZOE DEMURE Caning MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI Catheterisation (Male, Female and inclusive of all gender expressions)

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH NO LIMITS: WHY PEOPLE PLAY WITH EDGY

THE_CARNIE 102 Needle Play SPARX, EMERALD & MISSRUBYROUGE Yes! its a TK class

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine28 WORKSHOP SCHEDULE SUNDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER STREAM 5 - 1.30PM TO 3.30 PM PRESENTER TOPIC MISTRESS TOKYO Heavy Sensory Deprivation THE_CARNIE 202 Riskier Needle placements SPARX, EMERALD & MISS RUBY ROUGE Suspensions 101 SINCLAIR SEXSMITH The sexual politics of BDSM THISTA Needle Predicament Bondage SAI JAIDEN LILLITH & EVEX Intentional Shibari SURJACK Artistic Wax Play PENELOPE DREADFUL How Deep is your Glove? Anal play for Every Body MISTRESS ELECTRA Impact Play & how to use each Implement SUNDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER STREAM 6 - 4.00PM TO 6.00 PM PRESENTER TOPIC THE_CARNIE 201 The Cutting Edge, Body Modification MISTRESS TOKYO TAKEDOWN BONDAGE SPARX, EMERALD & MISS RUBY ROUGE Partial suspension semenawa SINCLAIR SEXSMITH The Protocol Game THIISTA Pretty Needles for the Risk Averse MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI Vagina fisting- Understand the pelvic region VIC & BEXI Fire Play, Fisting, Fucking and Restraint MISTRESS ELECTRA Switching it up - exploring both dynamics SURJACK Heavy Impact Play – No Holes Barred

STREAM

• what to do in the incident of fainting • preventing cross contamination of the play space

MISTRESS ZOE DEMURE Caning

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 29

THE_CARNIE (USA)

• how to handle a blood spill

The cane is one of kinks strongest symbols, and its wielder a powerful archetype. Presented by Cane Connoisseur, Mistress Zoe Demure, this workshop

Sai Jaiden Lillith & EveX Ritual Kink

ZEN Rope - Ash Snare (he/it) & Harley Okami

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH Fucking with Gender

Contents: dropping into ritual space, applying a variety of simple practices as examples ie: impact play, rope, power exchange, tantric techniques

Thisspace?class will be equal parts interactive, fun, and gross. Come prepared for graphic slide shows, very unsexy role playing, and group exercises to hone your critical thinking skills.

to advanced Partner not essential but highly recommended Equipment required: BYO toys, not essential

• group consent in a potentially biohazardous setting

From a foundation of best practice safety methods, couples will engage in floor based shibari craft. Utilizing connective energetic practice and hands on body manipulation techniques as a vehicle on this guided exploration of connection and intimacy. No previous experience is necessary to participate, this workshop is suitable for all skill levels.

• blood born pathogen and the communal play setting • sharps containers, ew • acceptable surface cleaners

While the everyday sexism and stifling gender roles can tie us in knots, finding liberation in expression and interaction can be freeing. Changing the sexist and heteronormative systems of sex and gender is going to take a while, but we can make changes in our own personal relationships to those systems now. This workshop explores different components of gender, internal and external, and encourages us to break our eyes open to the myriad human gender expressions.

Sure, we can theorize gender down to a non-existent social construction — but that’s not the only way to define gender. Our bodies are part of almost everything we do, and humans use gender as a major categorization — why not have some fun with it?

COURSE OUTLINES 1

Incorporating sex magick and ritual into BDSM can lead to powerful, transformative and deeply connective experiences. From ordeal paths to gentle transmutations, there is incredible potential in harnessing the power of our libidinal energies and creativity to heighten play and create amazing containers. Join us as we explore ways of tapping into the Level:sublime.beginners

Topics covered include:

• -how to spot and respond to inappropriate practices

This class is a must for all DMs and blood play enthusiasts. It will bolster your ability to Appropriately and intelligently respond to concerns regarding this type of play and give you a plethora of resources for further developing your skills.

401 BioHazard Bootcamp: an advanced training for DMs & Concerned Citizens We all want to be proud of our dungeons. When it comes to the added risks associated with medical, piercing, and blood play, how confident are you about the cleanliness and protocols of your community play

Exploring(he/she/they)intimacy with Shibari

Are you intrigued by needle play, but not sure where to start? Do you find needles a bit intimidating, and want information to help you feel more comfortable? In this 101 class, we’ll discuss some of the dreadful delights and sexy scenes needles can offer. Then we’ll learn how to prepare, play, and clean up safely, and we’ll cover the basics of placing and removing needles

AnTHISTAIntroduction to Needle Play

Partly strategizing to mess with the gender binary, and partly validation of each other’s gender expression as a piece of our erotic lives, we’ll dive deep into the intersection of sex and gender, and all the complexities they arouse.

Introduction to shibari - What is Shibari? where did it come from? How can we use it? Learn some information and basics about this diverse and amazing BDSM play, as well as get practical and practicing with rope.

Preamble: All of our classes aim to be LGBTQ+ inclusive, all genders are welcome, and we will endeavour to use safe language by using neutral medical terminology if binary language causes discomfort or dysphoria for participants. We hope other participants respect each other on this matter as well. LGBTQ+-phobia is not condoned in our classes. Consent is of utmost importance in our classes as well, there might be opportunities for demonstrations or guided practice on each person’s play partner, if participants consent to it. Strap-ons and Anal fisting for beginners

A cane can be used mildly, even sensually, by a reasonably skilled and self-controlled Caner. But the mystique and the appeal of The Cane, as opposed to any number of other long thin things you can hit with, is that it is used for intense, deliberate and severe corporal correction of miscreants. Psychologically, it can be highly fetishized and formal. Physically, it places great demands on the Canee’s resolution and fortitude. For the caner it is almost an equally challenging exercise in concentration, technical skill, and psychological dominance.

MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI

• Tie-free bondage – the beauty of situational predicament

• Recruiting and interviewing Tops and Bottoms • Planning, logistics and risk reduction • Setting the scene • Living out the fantasy STREAM 2 MISTRESS TOKYO Caning and Corporal Punishment

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine30isnot to be missed. Covering both the theory and practice of caning, the workshop delves into the wide selection of canes available, their respective uses, and shows you how to determine the quality of a cane. In order to ensure everyone follows best practice in safety protocols, Mistress Zoe will explain how to negotiate for a caning scene, including a discussion about anatomy and physiology in respect to caning. During a live demonstration you will observe proper caning techniques, anatomical safety, and examine the different techniques for building play from light to heavy, while learning how to avoid or correct common mistakes like wrapping. You will also have the opportunity to see various styles of caning including sensual, punishment, and judicial, and discuss the different dynamics and requirements for negotiation

• sing language to engage, baffle and bemuse

• Compression in S&M – the beauty of the Happy Mistress Face Discussion, Q&A, demonstration of concepts throughout VIC & BEXI Scene creation both small and large scale

SPARX, EMERALD & MISS RUBY ROUGE

101THE_CARNIESafety&How to Engage in Play Piercing.

“There is a good deal more to caning than one person simply hitting someone else with a stick.”

PENELOPE DREADFUL Yes, please, more predicament play, pain, and joyful Intermediatesadism level – some experience anticipated. Join Sydney’s very own smiling sadist exploring one of her favourite personal perversions. I fucking love predicament play – it is imaginative, terrifying, giggly and wriggly, and full of novel ways to use and abuse willing partners. It is bondage without a single tie, a carefully loaded question, a burning desire to please met with a desire to burn things because it’s fun! Sadism doesn’t have to be scary and predicament is one of the most joyful of all ways to explore it.

Play piercing is done for the purpose of enjoyment (or pain) rather then permanent body decoration. It can be a form of self-expression, ritual, self-discovery, sexual pleasure, and entertainment. The endorphin high from play piercing can create a variety of sensations. This class will demonstrate safe practices and techniques for those interested in exploring this kind of play. You will be coached on the connections that can be established between the piercer and pierced. We will also discuss the more extreme form of piercings specifically pertaining to Energy Pulls and Flesh Hook Suspension. This class is part lecture and part handson.

Ifstrategy.thetime and space permits, participants will be given an opportunity to practice their caning skills

We will discuss anatomy, the risk of strap-ons and anal fisting, and risk management. We will discuss negotiations, consent, warm-ups, lubes and tools required. Everything you need to have for a successful fisting/pegging.

• Designing your plan and theme

• Know thyself – know what you’re asking for, ask for what you want

What makes a needle scene fun for both the bottom and the top? What types of fun do needles offer?

This is an interactive workshop, with discussions, feedback and input from all who attend with the aim to allow you to build a set of slave positions to add to your own tool box of knowledge and tweak the positions to your own needs and desires as you see fit.

• Hair-trigger – emotional stress responses under duress

Eve X and Sai Jaiden Lillith are lifestyle switches who enjoy the fluidity of their personal dynamic. Through negotiation, sensitivity to nuance and fun role play scenarios they can help you to craft scenes where this energy can really flow, as well as being able to feel into the energies that you need to embrace in the moment.

Preamble: All of our classes aim to be LGBTQ+ inclusive, all genders are welcome, and we will endeavour to use safe language by using neutral medical terminology if binary language causes discomfort or dysphoria for participants. We hope other participants respect each other on this matter as well. LGBTQ+-phobia is not condoned in our classes. Consent is of utmost importance in our classes as well, there might be opportunities for demonstrations or guided practice on each person’s play partner, if participants consent to Thisit. class is designed to inform and empower the curious. Why would/should I consider this? Is it safe? Would I enjoy this? We will discuss common myths, questions and answers to demystify vaginal fisting.

Many of us don’t exist on a binary of Dominant or Submissive, or perhaps we aren’t comfortable or desirous to having a strict power dynamic in place.

Level: beginners to advanced Partner not essential but highly recommended Equipment required: BYO toys, not essential Contents: role play, advanced negotiations, learning how to flow

Once you get the needles in, then what? Come learn how to create a needle scene that all participants will enjoy, from the very first poke to the very last pull. We’ll briefly review safety and setup, then cover placement, aesthetic options, manipulation, sensation, and removal.

MISTRESS ELECTRA AMORE Stand to Attention! - Slave Positions

Many slave positions stem from history and has become entwined within the BDSM sceneover the years. During this workshop Mistress Electra Amore, is going to guide / order you through some of the popular positions, the intention being to demonstrate the advantage of each position for both parties involved.

PENELOPE DREADFUL Would you like cries with that? Playing for catharsis Intermediate to advanced – experience anticipated, emotional labour. Catharsis play is intimate, delicate and divine. It offers a vulnerability that needs to be met with responsibility and respect, regardless of which side of the slash you identify with. Playing with catharsis can be one of the most beautiful, courageous and present moments of your connections, and it can open up whole new worlds of experience to you. I will provide tips and pointers (and very pointed questions) that I have collected in the last decade of My experience here and abroad.

HavingTHISTAFun With Needles

This work shop is suited to those who wish to learn about slave positions as an instructor orrecipient. I request you be open minded and also up for a little bit of fun along the way as we move into each position and explore its purpose and possibilities.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 31 SINCLAIR

“Non-binary” is a noun, label, and identity, sure—but it’s also a subset of skills and awarenesses that queers can harness and use as tools for liberation. In insular communities like radical college campuses or small queer groups, it’s possible to create and have our non-binary identities validated. But when we get out into the “real world,” it’s often totally different. In this workshop, we’ll dive into pronoun usage, coming out as genderqueer to friends, family, and institutions, navigating legal forms, arguing with the reality of the gender binary system, and day to day microagressions (like groups of AFAB genderqueer folks being called “ladies” in every restaurant cafe ever). Everyone can queer up the gender binary system—let’s use it for liberation, elevating intersectional activism, and deep acceptance of ourselves and others.

• Soul food – prepare for play and for personal care

• SURPRISE! What to do when the unexpected Discussion,happens demonstration, Q&A plus troubleshooting

Vagina fisting- Understand the pelvic region

MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI

SAI JAIDEN LILLITH & EVE X Flow and Switch

Non-BinarySEXSMITHinTheory and Practice

• The diversity of play – Kinks, multi dimensions and fantasy MISTRESS ELECTRA AMORE Impulsive bondage & play - all levels of

Do you love the idea of aesthetically pleasing needle scenes, but struggle with creating perfect designs in steel? Do you want to create something beautiful without using a ton of needles? Do you just really love blood? Come learn how blood painting uses impact and palette knives to give you a new way to make stunning art with your needle scenes. JAIDEN LILLITH & EVE X Kink Emergencies

• Creating a safe and inclusive space to explore your personal kink

• Needs, wants and desires

HEAVY CBT

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH No limits: Why people play with edgy sex Blindfolds. Handcuffs. Ice cubes and hot wax. Spankings. Obeying or giving orders. From the simplest display of something like being pushed up against a wall, to the more elaborate contracts and safewords in films like Fifty Shades of Grey, kinky sex is gaining more and more visibility. But explorations of edgy sex date back as far as we have history, and the roots of the current kink culture are with rebels, outlaws, and activists. There are safe, sane, and consensual ways to explore all sorts of new erotic terrain — let’s discuss the how’s and whys of sadomasochism, power exchange, fetishes, and more.

Preamble: All of our classes aim to be LGBTQ+ inclusive, all genders are welcome, and we will endeavour to use safe language by using neutral medical terminology if binary language causes discomfort or dysphoria for participants. We hope other participants respect each other on this matter as well. LGBTQ+-phobia is not condoned in our classes. Consent is of utmost importance in our classes as well, there might be opportunities for demonstrations or guided practice on each person’s play partner, if participants consent to Theit.class will cover aspects of catheterisation for kink play, how to set the scene, OH&S (including urethra anatomy, contraindications and its associated risks), equipment required (and the difference between various materials/ Fr sizes, for different anatomical bits), setting up, the process of insertion, how long it is recommended for a catheter to be left in, removal and cleaning up and aftercare (medical red flags, safety and precautions etc). Everything you need to know to make catheterisation safe and enjoyable

VIC & GenderBEXIdiverse littles, pups, subs and curious

BloodTHISTAPainting: Needle Play Body Art

SPARX, EMERALD & MISS RUBY ROUGE

Now that you get the basics of needle play down, this class teaches best safe practices while fine toning your piercing techniques. Bring your kit, and let’s talk about why you have what you have in it and consider the other materials one should have if engaging in needle play often. This is a hands on with guided instruction class

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine32 STREAM 3 MISTRESS TOKYO

In BDSM it’s not IF something is going to go wrong, it’s WHEN. All BDSM is a form of edgeplay - we’re doing things that have the potential to cause harm. This workshop is all about adding an additional layer to your negotiations, harm minimization techniques, how to deal with mistakes ETHICALLY as well as emotional / psychological triage when things go wrong.

• Safety, trust and negotiation Headspace and exploration • Letting go of fears and expectations

SAI

• Level: beginners to advanced • Partner not required

• Equipment Required: none Contents: workshopping a variety of situations and best practices in handling kink emergencies ethically and effectively through compassion, communication and preparation MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI Catheterisation (Male, Female and inclusive of all gender expressions)

102THE_CARNIENeedlePlay

“If a Saturday afternoon of recreational torture sounds just like your sort of “ball sport”, then forget the football and come along to experience as many styles of CBT as I can include in 90mins! I’ll cover the basics of CBT, from the gentle to ball-breakingly intense, and show you how I structure a scene from the first touch - to the petit mort!”

Yes! its a TK class - Kanna ryu is known for its control, precision, sadism, and technical aspects. Take the time with Sparks to look closely into the techniques and thought processes behind the TK tied by Nawashi Kanna, who has taught so many of the world’s best. Also looking at adaptions for purpose depending on time availability.

In order to ensure everyone follows best practice in safety protocols, Mistress Zoe will explain how to negotiate for a caning scene, including a discussion about anatomy and physiology in respect to caning.

MISTRESS ZOE DEMURE Caning

Vicious: How To Be Mean With Little Needles

The cane is one of kinks strongest symbols, and its wielder a powerful archetype. Presented by Cane Connoisseur, Mistress Zoe Demure, this workshop is not to be missed. Covering both the theory and practice of caning, the workshop delves into the wide selection of canes available, their respective uses, and shows you how to determine the quality of a cane.

Hence why she has created a skill share that she can share with you some of her tips & tricks. How to make the most of what you have around you for those impulsive moments of kink play that do occur in our Thislife. workshop is great for people who wish to be Itimpulsive.isaninteractive workshop, where Electra will be demonstrating first then allowing space for people to practice and play. If your preference is to sit and watch then you are also welcome to do so. This workshop may include some level of nudity.

To weave a session with what is at hand is what she excels in. Her artistic nature loves the challenge of creating a play scene utilising what she has around her.

ZEN ROPE - ASH SNARE (he/it) & Harley Okami (he/she/they) Exploring deeper intimacy with Shibari

During a live demonstration you will observe proper caning techniques, anatomical safety, and examine the different techniques for building play from light to heavy, while learning how to avoid or correct common mistakes like wrapping. You will also have the opportunity to see various styles of caning including sensual, punishment, and judicial, and discuss the different dynamics and requirements for negotiation strategy.Ifthetime and space permits, participants will be given an opportunity to practice their caning skills

201THE_CARNIEsoonOuch,Needles hurt! If causing pain is what you’re looking for this class is for you. After understanding the basics of safe needle practices, we go over how and where to inflict pain with needles using some techniques like Stacking, Zippers, Twisting, and many more for your sadist minds. Part lecture and hands-on.

Even though the idea of having all the nick and knacks of a play space is enticing and exciting. Electra is fully aware that not everyone has a dedicated room nor the budget to indulge in such pleasures.

STREAM 4 MISTRESS TOKYO Mindful Consent Coming

SINCLAIR SEXMITH Consent & BDSM

Consent & BDSM Pop culture depictions of BDSM rarely capture the nuance that happens behind the scenes — consent and negotiations in the kink communities that are taught, encouraged, and applied. Often, BDSM fantasy scenes seem coercive, fearful, or even damaging, but these practices attempt to keep everyone involved safe. Negotiation techniques, safety tips for playing with new people, and concepts such as safewords encourage personal empowerment and are built with everyone’s best interests in mind. While safety is never guaranteed, concepts like “RACK” and “SSC” are widespread, and the communities, conferences, and clubs are constantly striving to orient new members and deepen the conversation as it continues. Come talk about how to apply consent and equal negotiation — regardless of whether you are part of the kink communities or not, they are useful tools for everyone.

TinyTHISTAand

Wanna have a good time with little holes? Come learn how to make your sadistic needle play excruciating at any gauge! Discover locations, techniques, patterns, and manipulations that are sure to elicit some delightful screams, all at 20 gauge and smaller… because it’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it.

MISTRESS MISTY & ALEX BOI Catheterisation (Male, Female and inclusive of all gender expressions)

Preamble: All of our classes aim to be LGBTQ+ inclusive, all genders are welcome, and we will endeavour to use

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 33 experience welcome Impulsive play is one of Mistress Electra’s fortes.

From a foundation of best practice safety methods, couples will engage in floor based shibari craft. Utilizing connective energetic practice and hands on body manipulation techniques as a vehicle on this guided exploration of connection and intimacy. No previous experience is necessary to participate, this workshop is suitable for all skill levels.

• Look into my eyes – turning up the volume with deliberate intensity

• Challenging body image and sexual oppression

Heavy Sensory Deprivation

Mistress Tokyo will take you on a broad yet focused journey of heavy sensory deprivation bondage, touching on aspects of rubber and leather play. She’ll explain the meditational experience that total enclosure bondage can be and show you how to safely explore this fascinating, immersive and downright hot form of play.

We all have some ideas about what it means to be a top or a masochist, but what does it mean to be a feminist dominant or an empowered submissive? And why do we assume that submissives’ are unempowered, anyway? What’s the difference between BDSM and abuse? Is it healthy to engage in kinky sex play?

Intermediate level – some experience anticipated. Partnered practical content.

With the use of best safer practices this class dives into the naughtier and more challenging places to do needle play on. Placement of the needles in face, neck, nipples, and genitals will be the area of focus. This lecture includes demonstrations of the various area.

• First, do no harm – a practical look at how to minimise risk in a risky activity

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH The Sexual Politics of BDSM

NeedleTHISTAPredicament

STEAM 5 MISTRESS TOKYO

Sinclair thinks so. BDSM is the pursuit of giving and receiving pleasure through bold sensation, the consensual exchange of temporarily giving up power or taking on authority over another. In this workshop we’ll explore how consent and agency are key issues in feminism, and how they work in the exploration of BDSM. We’ll discuss different kinds of topping and bottoming, as well as theories to enhance your personal BDSM skills.

• Sexual empowerment through Kink

Bondage This intermediate class explores how to create delightfully devilish predicaments with needle play. Whether you’re binding your bottom in challenging

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine34 safe language by using neutral medical terminology if binary language causes discomfort or dysphoria for participants. We hope other participants respect each other on this matter as well. LGBTQ+phobia is not condoned in our classes. Consent is of utmost importance in our classes as well, there might be opportunities for demonstrations or guided practice on each person’s play partner, if participants consent to it.

The class will cover aspects of catheterisation for kink play, how to set the scene, OH&S (including urethra anatomy, contraindications and its associated risks), equipment required (and the difference between various materials/ Fr sizes, for different anatomical bits), setting up, the process of insertion, how long it is recommended for a catheter to be left in, removal and cleaning up and aftercare (medical red flags, safety and precautions etc). Everything you need to know to make catheterisation safe and enjoyable

Don’t be scared, face slapping can be super hot when you do it right. We will talk about the risks – detached retina, blown ear drum; practicalities –neck support, trouble-shooting; what makes it hot – intensity and intimacy; and how we can change it up to suit our scenes.

• Understanding what Kink can give us

• Feeling sexy, desired and in control of your sexual gratification • Kink and it’s gifts to positive mental health

PENELOPE DREADFUL Hit Me Baby One More Time! Face slapping for fun and effect

SPARX, EMERALD & MISS RUBY ROUGE Suspensions 101 Getting into suspensions can be a big step. What gear to use, when and why, structures, uplines etc. go through various techniques and safety aspects while we learn how to build suspensions with strong fundamentals to kick start your journey into flying with rope TK pre-requisite

VIC & EmpoweredBEXI through Kink – Woman’s only workshop in a safe space

• Use different positions, scents and movements to create and enhance our scenes

202THE_CARNIERiskierNeedle placements

• Demonstration and practical. It will be hands-on (hahaha)

Intentional Shibari

PENELOPE DREADFUL How Deep is your Glove? Anal play for Every Body Info to follow MISTRESS ELECTRA AMORE Impact Play & how to use each Implement – - all levels of experience welcome Impact Play is an area that Electra is very skilled in. Tawsing a client’s hand was her first experience in using a traditional style implement and since then has handled hundreds of different types of Duringimplements.this skill share Electra will be discussing the differences between implements and how and were to administrate an accurately safe stroke.

201 The Cutting Edge, Body Modification: Branding, Scarification, Cuttings, Removals & Mutilations. Body modification is not really so strange within a culture where identity is often expressed through appearance—in mainstream society includes fashion consumption, cosmetic surgery, and Botox. This is about intentional permanent or semipermanent alterations of the living body for ritual, folk medicine, aesthetics, or corporal punishment. This class we will cover that broad spectrum of why people do it pertaining to the various techniques of such an alteration.

STREAM 6 SINCLAIR SEXSMITH

The Protocol Game Creating, implementing, and enforcing protocol in M/s dynamics can be hard. But it can be easier. Come create your own Protocol Game and create, implement, and enforce 52 protocols in the next year. In this workshop, you’ll learn: how to create a “training wheel” of categories that will drive your protocol, how to implement new protocol so it actually sticks, and how to enforce new protocol with the minimum of effort. And you’ll walk away with your own Protocol Game to play.

THISTA (USA) Pretty Needles for the Risk Averse Needle play offers fabulous opportunities for aesthetic creativity, but each technique comes with its own considerations for safety. This class explores how to create fabulous art with string, feathers, beads, and more, all while minimizing health risks. Come learn how to create beautiful needle art within a conservative risk profile.

SPARX, EMERALD & MRS RUBY ROUGE Partial suspension semenawa Go through a number of different ties in partial suspensions designed for discomfort and that painful pleasure. Learn how play with different

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 35 postures, or tying them to other objects, needle bondage offers a variety of unique physical and psychological challenges.

There are so many patterns to learn in rope that it’s easy to lose sight of the reason for tying - the journey and connection. Sai and Eve X are highly intuitive practitioners who will share with you a wealth of soft skills and practices that can help you to connect deeply with your rope partner/s. This workshop is not about patterns, but about how to use the skills that you already know.

Starting off with the riding crop, Electra will demonstrate how this popular implement can be used in a sensual to stern manner. Then moving onto paddles and straps, discussing how the different mediums deliver different sensations of impact. Touching on whips, floggers and single tails. And finishing up with her favourite the cane. There will be backside nudity in this skill share and the participants will be invited to partake with the Thisdemonstrations.skillsharegives anyone who has an interest in impact play an insight into the different implements, how to wield each one and the best positions for your bottom to be placed in to receive an accurate and measured stroke.

SAI JAIDEN LILLITH & EVE X

Level: beginners to advanced Partner not essential but highly recommended Equipment required: Rope Contents: rope bondage practices, sharing touch, tantric practices, soft skills

GettingSURJACKhot and sticky with Candle Play

“Artistic Wax Play” Artistic wax play uses a combination of energy, intuition and movement along with the coloured wax and instead of canvases, we use human bodies. We are perverts after all and it’s also a form of sensation play, which generates an energetic exchange between the ‘artist’ and the ‘canvas’if there’s no response from the ‘canvas’ we don’t enjoy it! No candles in this skillshare but LOTS of wax. This skillshare is very much a participation event. We will have a 15/20 min info session and then the practical hands on stuff begins

MISTRESS ELECTRA AMORE

Anal play for Every INBodyPROGRESS Discussion, Q&A, troubleshooting, demonstration of butt stuff breathing exercises to assist in sphincter training.

aspects, use lines, precisely control everything we do to our desired effect and the safety behind them.

Switching it up - exploring both dynamics Switching it up is a chance for you to explore and play with the different power dynamics that BDSM is based on. Focusing on the dynamic of Dominant, Top and submissive, slave, bottom archetypes. This skill share allows for the participants to play with the different archetypes while Electra takes you through several exercises where you will be given the opportunity to experience switching between role and exploring the dynamic of being in control to surrendering to another person.

MISS PENELOPE DREADFUL How Deep is your Glove?

VIC & BEXY Fire Play, Fisting, Fucking and Restraint

• Practical demonstration of fire play, fisting, fucking and restraint MISTRESS TOKYO Takedown Bondage In this workshop, I’ll draw from my experience as a Takemusu Aikido practitioner and lover of Hojojyutsu (the Japanese martial art of rope tying on prisoners) to show you some techniques I employ in My scenes to get your sub on the ground and keep them there!

NoSURJACKHoles

Barred “Advanced Impact Play”

• Preparation and safety

• What do you need to get started • Incorporation into scene play

“The Tale Of Two Floggers” Well not really, I use over a dozen floggers, several canes, paddles, straps, quirts, whips and various other weapons of mass destruction. This skillshare offers a tapis coving Advanced/heavy impact play with numerous toys and techniques covered. Master Jack and his partner, lover and slave saffireblue will be only too pleased to advise, discuss and help anyone with just about anything. If you would like to participate in the practical side of this workshop, then it’s advisable to bring along your own bottom/crash test dummy.

We’ll cover takedown from an Aikido perspective, pressure points, equipment, and Hojo inspired boxtie Attendeeharnesses.requirements: This is a pair-based, hands-on workshop format. Please wear comfortable clothing, bring rope and be prepared to go to the ground! Those without a partner or who just want to observe are also welcome.

Electra will be starting the workshop with a discussion on the elements of power exchange. The focus will be on establishing self-connection first with our own energy. Then moving into playing with an assortment of techniques in solo and partnered exercises to establish an understanding of how we each use and respond to the dynamics of playing with switching between roles. This workshop is designed with the intention to cater to people who are wanting to deepen their own relationship with how they use and respond to the power dynamics and to establish a healthier balance.

Find playmates who share your kinks and fetishes on Australia's largest kink-friendly dating site! adult matchmaker

To learn and write about historical BDSM communities and scenes, I had to find reliable source material to draw upon. This led me to the Australian Queer Archives, which holds a wide and diverse range of material on both heterosexual and LGBTQIA+ scenes in Australia. This constellation of sourc es come from underground community media like Wicked Women, pornographic magazines like Ribald, and newslet ters from adult entertainment stores, the most notable being Eagle Leather. What became apparent throughout my research is that com merce (in the broad sense), was a particularly potent tool for bringing together likeminded kinky people. Beginning with the 1970s, if you weren’t attached to a particular club or were geographically or socially isolated, personal advertising was a fantastic way to self-advertise your desires. Looking into Ribald, I analysed over 3,000 personal ads, 140 of which related in some way to kink or fetish. Largely, it was individ ual slaves looking for a master, or even masters/mistresses looking to expand their harem of servants.

B&D, S/M, bondage, kinky are all terms used to describe an individual with an eclectic, di verse, or more hardcore sexual appetite. These descriptors are employed for a range of reasons but are primarily used to seek out and engage with others of similar tastes. Not only can they be used as a description for sexual behaviour, but they can also be used to identify the self and others.

Delve into Kink at the Australian Queer Archives

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Research into BDSM overseas has grown in popularity in recent years, but what is there to uncover about BDSM in Australia? How has the BDSM identity been commodified, commercialised, and appropriated to foster and encourage social and/or intimate connection in private and semi-public spaces? This is the focus of my research.

You might be wondering how commerce and commodity fits into all of this. First is cost which refers the cost of advertis ing (around one dollar per ad) and then also the cost of pur chasing the magazine and later sending a letter in response to an ad. Second is the language of advertising. It is crucial to consider the role language played in advertising yourself as a suitable play partner. This language of commodity helps us understand how individuals communicated their potential to give and receive pleasure. Onto the late 1980s and the 1990s, I begin to look commu nity magazines and newsletters. These are primarily Wicked

Personal ads within Ribald and the other magazines was partly a symptom of a growing sexual permissiveness in Aus tralian social and political life which spurred on a change to how we censor adult materials. This neoliberal governmen tality which rationalised privacy, personal responsibility, and free choice legitimated social hierarchies of sexuality and compelled or encouraged BDSM communities to capitalise space in pornographic magazines. In this 1970s and 1980s, despite an emerging acceptance of gay and lesbian sexual ity, many social BDSM groups were at the fringe of social acceptability or were relatively young. They existed as mo torcycle clubs and as gay leather groups.

When people think of kink and fetish, those of a ‘vanilla’ per suasion are likely come up with references to leather, bond age, harnesses, and masters. These are the common tropes found in mainstream and popular media, think Madonna, Fifty Shades of Grey, and even more recently Netflix’s com edy and reality television programs. My interest in kink and fetish was borne out of my club-going days pre-pandemic. I quickly learned that a club I frequented was the early and founding site of Australia’s Hellfire club in Carlton (which is still a fantastic techno club, albeit without the play and per BDSM,formances).sadomasochism,

2 Linda Jaivin, “The Mobile Guide: The Roughest Safe Sex Around,” Asian Wall Street Journal, September 3, 1993, sec. Leisure & Arts, 7

Author biography Reece (he/him) is an MA candidate in the Department of Archaeology and History at La Trobe University. His re search investigates oral and archival accounts to produce a history of BDSM in Australia. His thesis looks specifically at the role of public space in constructing and commodifying the image of a sadomasochistic citizen.

The other component of my research is an oral history of Hellfire. Hellfire was a fetish and S/M club, ‘with techno and trance on the side,’ that ‘drew a diverse crowd, including Hollywood A-lister George Clooney.’ It has been touted as ‘Australia’s first … above-ground club dedicated to the cel ebration of consensual sado-masochistic sexuality.’ It first opened in October 1992 at the home of Dream night club. The club was a ‘polymorphous’ environment, with all sexu alities mixing and playing together. Hellfire was held every Sunday night in Melbourne, and every Thursday in Sydney from March 1993. And from its early days, the Melbourne and Sydney club nights drew over 400 patrons. This research was supported through my discussions with the volunteers at the Australian Queer Archives. Without them, I may not have found or even been able to access magazines, images and other ephemera that have helped shape my dissertation which provides a window into the lives of kinky Australians.

1 Nui Te Koha, “The Cool Kids Still Want Hot Nights,” Her ald Sun, May 15, 2016, sec. News.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 39 Women, The Boot Co., and Eagle Leather’s LeatherLink. Their connections to commerce and commodity are like the personal ads, but their intention or functions are far more diverse. Their primary function is as a source of connection, but also in the case of Wicked Woman and LeatherLink, they were useful springboards for ideas and discussion around best practice and safer ways to play, and a gateway for new comers and pros to connect with each other or to even iden tify with a community.

DIRTDUST LIGHT. editorial images by photographer Morgan Roberts creative director Steven Mitchell Wright

photographer Morgan Roberts creative director Steven Mitchell Wright

photographer Morgan Roberts creative director Steven Mitchell Wright

photographer Morgan Roberts creative director Steven Mitchell Wright

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So the day of the ritual came, and it seemed to go fairly well. The vast majority of participants derived benefit from facing down their internal sense of not being worthy of belonging, and a few others chose to lean

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Our ritual challenged seekers to face what is most often at the root of a sense of not belonging: our own sense of self-worth. We created a structure that ensured support from everyone present, reinforcing the welcoming and inclusive space the organizers wanted their group to be. Within that space, each person would be given an opportunity to ask themselves whether or not they truly felt like they belonged, and we facilitators were ready to help them work through whatever answer they discovered in that challenge.

This is a story about a time I messed up.

My error wasn’t in the design itself, but in a flawed assumption I’d made from the start.

When I arrived at the venue where this ritual would be happening, something felt... off. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was, but there was an unmistakable tension in the social dynamics of the group. At the time I figured this must be part of the problem the organizers had described to me, and hoped our ritual could at least help loosen things up a bit. After all, no ritual can be a singular solution, but it can catalyze a greater process of change, growth, or healing.

Vulnerability & Boundaries So when I was offered this chance to design a group ritual aimed at confronting barriers to belonging, I thought I had it in the bag.

by thista

I tried to plan ahead for what variations we could put into play for people who were already superbly confident in their self-worth. I felt pretty certain that, given a few adjustments when necessary, the ritual would be at least meaningful for each person present, even if it didn’t become an ordeal for everyone.

Now, I knew from the outset that this ritual wouldn’t become an ordeal for every seeker. That’s the nature of group rituals – you’re just not going to strike the same chord in everyone, because we’re all so different.

I thought to myself, I can do this. After all, craving an elusive sense of belonging is more relatable than many people realize. I used to think that I was alone in always feeling on the edge of every group I touched, never quite qualifying as “one of us”. Over time, as I gained enough confidence to open up to more people, I discovered that this feeling of liminality is astoundingly common. Somehow we all feel ourselves to be on the edges. Even people I’ve thought of as the core members of a group have revealed to me that they too wonder if they truly belong with everybody else.

Some years ago I was invited to create a ritual for a specific group of people who were struggling with inclusivity and belonging. During the design process, the organizers of this group laid out to me the problem, as they saw it: Their group was firmly founded on welcoming all people, yet some people just wouldn’t let themselves Alright,belong.

In a kink scene we offer our vulnerability within carefully negotiated boundaries. We mark out those boundaries based on our rapport with the other person or people, and the level of trust shared between us informs the level of vulnerability we offer.

in retrospect was that this group of people didn’t do much to make themselves approachable to new people.

Anyway,(*sigh*) it would take me years to figure out what really went wrong there. I thought I’d somehow messed things up with that individual, but that was not true. It was the group ritual I’d messed up. The ritual worked for the people it worked for because that struggle to feel like you belong is such a common sensation... but it failed for the group because I assumed I knew what the group’s problem was to begin with... and I was wrong. What each participant needed as an individual, and what the group needed as a whole, were two very different things. Back when we were first designing the ritual, what the group organizers described to me as the problem was... Youincorrect.see, the organizers of this group believed that they were plenty inclusive because they would not turn anyone away who was brave enough to approach them and ask to be welcomed. Their philosophy was derived from how vulnerability fosters connection in kink scenes: in order to forge deep, meaningful connections we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

But one person... just... didn’t fit. They left the ritual feeling just as isolated as before.

vulnerability is exactly what the organizers of that group were asking of its new members. They wanted people to come in and reveal themselves completely, blindly trusting that the group would welcome them and treat them well without the group having to do any actual work to earn that trust.

the organizers of that group certainly were not predatory. They just couldn’t quite see how their attempts at inclusivity and welcoming were missing the Whatmark.Irealized

Vulnerability by itself, offered up blindly and without question, is foolish.

I left that gathering feeling that I’d failed – because, unfortunately, that is how my brain works: succeeding for so many others means nothing if I fail for even one.

Every social group has its own microcosm of language and customs, from in-jokes and favorite hangouts to the subtleties of slang and body language. This group did not pause to translate their social language, made no extra effort to include people in the in-jokes, did not explain to new people when hangouts would happen, or how they could join in. They just expected that people would find out on their own. In their mind, they were doing everything they needed to do simply by accepting people who decided to show up... ...and for many people, that still leaves a great rift between where they stand and a feeling of being welcome, never mind belonging.... Oh sure there are people who don’t need any encouragement to join a new group, who can just walk up to new people and strike up a conversation, who have an otherworldly confidence I can only admire from a distance with awe... but for the rest of us.... we

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 51 into using their self-confidence as a support for others.

After the ritual was over I sat with them privately and tried to contextualize the ritual experience, hoping that maybe if I just talked to them a bit I could help them find some kind of personal breakthrough... but I couldn’t. They did not feel welcome in that group, and nothing I could do or say would change that.

From the organizers’ point of view, there was plenty the group already did to keep their space inclusive... ...but a new member wouldn’t know anything about that. Sure, they could see the rules posted on the group’s website, but words alone go only so far. Just as we want to vet a new play partner, or at least watch how they play with others, before venturing with them towards our personal edges, people new to a social group will want to watch how that group treats its members before deciding how much of themselves to reveal in that space.

It’s not just understandable for someone to be cautious when they’re getting to know new people... it’s smart... ...and asking someone to simply “be vulnerable” in blind trust when you first meet them is like asking someone to play without any prior negotiation. That sort of request is myopic at best, and predatory at Now,worst.

This is, however, a half truth.

...and being inclusive means creating an environment that is accessible to everyone, not just the naturally outgoing and extroverted.

When someone asks us to offer them vulnerability without first establishing any trust or boundaries, our hackles raise, our alarm bells ring, and we wonder – is this person just new to kink, still needing to learn the social language of consent and respect? or are they a predator looking for someone without a healthy sense of Thisself-preservation?foolishlyunconditional

If I could go back and change that ritual, I would have had the ordeal challenge the organizers rather than the group members. I would have had the organizers confront the power imbalance between themselves and their group’s new members, and then I would have coached them through designing a ritual of welcoming for their group, in which they as the organizers were made vulnerable, and had to rely on the strength of their Wouldgroup.that have fixed the group’s problems? Certainly not. But it might have helped the organizers get a little insight as to why some people had such a hard time feeling welcome in their group... and that’s what ordeal is all about: insight.

And above all, whether you’re a single person making a new friend, a group of people organizing an event, or anything in between, remember: We earn vulnerability by establishing trust, and we develop trust through asserting and respecting boundaries.

That group’s approach to “inclusivity” was “Accept us and you can be one of us.” They completely forgot that accepting other people isn’t just a passive state, it’s an action. They did not think to reach out, to ask, to include. They figured being inclusive was nothing more than saying “you are welcome here” and then not being overtly hostile. They forgot to be welcoming...

This yet another reason why we all must strive to be aware of our own privilege, and be conscientious of how that privilege affects our social interactions. We must not act in ignorance.

They were good kind folk who genuinely wanted the inclusivity they were striving for. They just couldn’t quite see the forest for the trees.

Whenboundaries.people

Whenever we are next able to gather together in groups, we will all be a bit more... emotionally frayed... than we once were. This is the perfect time for us to reflect on our past, and consider how we can move forward with a little extra patience and compassion for one another.

If you’re being asked to be vulnerable, know that it’s ok for you to have your armor, and you get to decide where and when to take it off.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine52 need to read the room before we can really open up...

Sometimes people in a position of power have a hard time recognizing how their power affects those around them. I don’t think those organizers wanted new people to come to them as subservient in any way, but by asking for such radical vulnerability from newcomers while they themselves sat on comfortable ground and in positions of social power, that’s exactly what they were doing – they were taking a power imbalance, and making it even more imbalanced. The organizers of that group failed to recognize their own role in the problem their group was struggling with.

say you must “let down your walls and be vulnerable otherwise you’ll be alone and isolated forever” without any thought to developing trust or establishing boundaries along the way... that’s gaslighting nonsense akin to spiritual bypassing. Many of us wear armor when we first meet people, and for various equally valid reasons: sometimes trauma, sometimes mental health, sometimes shyness or introversion. Any reason is a good enough reason. If a person needs time, give them time. That is how you make them feel welcome – not by asking them to strip away their armor before they are ready, but by telling them that it’s ok if they aren’t ready yet, and that you’ll still welcome them while they set their own pace.

Next time you are encouraging someone to open up to you or to bond with you or to feel comfortable in your group, ask yourself what you’ve done to be welcoming. Invite people in, and let them enter at their own pace. Help them learn your social language, and show them how they can join in when they are ready.

Vulnerability and trust go hand in hand... ...and trust is established over time as we assert our boundaries and watch how others respond to them.

Sometimes people need time to get to know you. Welcoming people who need that time means giving them the space they need, and respecting their

OUR PRESENTERS AND PERFORMERS

To be seen at various events across the festival. More amazing talent on the way...images and bios will be added as they arrive..stay tuned

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Sinclair grew up in the temperate rainforest of southeast Alaska, and have lived in Seattle, Brooklyn, and Oakland, and calls the Pacific Northwest home.

holds dual bachelor’s degrees in Gender, Women, and Sexuality studies and Creative Writing from the University of Washington, Seattle, graduating in 2005.

THISTA MINAI (USA)

They have been recognized in Go Magazine’s 100 Women We Love list (2010), DapperQ’s 100 Most Stylish (2013), Kinkly’s Sex Blog Superheroes, Top 100 Sex Bloggers, and Sinclairmore.

Their thesis was on the psychological identity development process and its correspondence to the evolution of the lesbian novel in the 20th century, which is available on Inacademia.edu.2022,Sinclair and their boy rife ran for and won the Northwest Master/slave title, and went on to compete and win the International Master/slave title in 2020. While they no longer use the words “master” and “slave” to define their dynamic, they still live in a 24/7 authority exchange dynamic that is rooted in the lineage of leather queers.

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SEXSMITHSINCLAIR(USA)

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH (they/them) is a writer, speaker, and performer specializing in queer sexualities, genders, and relationships. Since 1996, they have been building queer and feminist online communities through writing and expressive arts. Their experience with queer culture, sexual politics, gender and identity, and embodied sexuality makes Sinclair a skilled presenter, facilitator, and speaker, and they have traveled all around North America, presenting at universities, conferences, community organizations, and retreats. Their topics include relationships, gender, writing, sexual skills, BDSM, and personal liberation. They have produced the award-winning website Sugarbutch: Queer Sex, Kink, Gender, and Relationships at www. sugarbutch.net since 2006. Contributing to more than twenty anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica, Persistence: Still Butch and Femme, and Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, Mx. Sexsmith is the guest editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and editor of Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both from Cleis Press. Their full-length collection Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut was released in 2014 from Maverick Press. Since 2022, they have been the editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series, including Volume 4 (2020), Volume 5 (2021), and the forthcoming Volume 6 (2022).

Thista Minai is an educator, author, priestess, ordeal facilitator, and gleeful sadist. She uses her professional background in education to create high quality classes on a wide variety of topics, including sacred sexuality, the ordeal path, catharsis, impact, and needle play. With more than fifteen years of experience in designing and conducting rituals, Thista travels the country championing the value of spirituality and empowerment in kink and BDSM.

Tom has exploded out on the scene for his artistic hook suspension performance pieces. Tom is an experienced and licensed professional that has been working in the industry performing body piercings and body modifications since 2010. Tom has toured all over the USA with national tattoo conventions, as well as lectured on Hook Suspension and Needle Play showcasing those skills nationwide. To him, it’s not just another piercing, it is an unique and personal experience. Therefore, the specifics and details of each person in which Tom modifies are not only important, but is the basis of the quality work and open-minded attitude when providing the fine body art. With absolute procession Tom skilfully executed needle piercings to create a complex and elaborate line work. The body is a resonating anchor point for the lines. His artistic vision crosses over into the care and attention to details with his piercings and needle play work. The connections are deeply evident when he works, tending to the safety and health of those who he suspends

Ash lives for the study of intimacy, impermanence and Other. Fascinating on the texture between things, the tension of moments, lines that lead to the unknowable Hisplaces.lifelong contemplations: power, trust, connection and separateness crystallise in the art of shibari.

This gender chaotic creative weaves traditionally informed Kinbaku, aerial circus and human form to explore the conundrums of connection, power exchange, fluidity and gender. Often finding an emotionally purgative nature to the process, Harley expresses an ability to emote a raw, authentic depth of vulnerability and truth rarely found so honestly shared.

Tom Hill aka The_Carnie is based in Chicago, IL however has travelled all over the world. He has degrees in Art, Communication and Theatre, Certified Teacher, Certified Entertainment Rigger, Certified in BloodBorne Pathogens Training & Healthcare BLS/AED & First Aid. Previously has taught at Northwestern University, Lillstreet Art Centre, Beverly Art Centre, and more. Even though Tom has been performing on a professional level since he was a teenager in college is where he delved into performance art creations of experiential environmentally controlled happenings. Tom founded a performance arts and entertainment company called The Carnival of Curiosity & Chaos, where him and his creative team built “WOW” happenings for various nightclubs and venues.

ZEN ROPE

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THE_CARNIE (USA)

Founded by artists Ash Snare and Harley Okami, Zen Rope is a collective working to create safe spaces and transformational experiences in the realms of connection, consent, intimacy and personal growth. Drawing on the practice of traditionally-informed Japanese rope work (shibari / kinbaku), the collective engages like minded entities seeking alternative lifestyle exploration. Founding partners of the Zen Rope Dojo of Melbourne, ash snare and harley okami join us to share their intimate knowledge and esoteric understanding of the ineffable art of shibari.

ASH SNARE (HE/IT)

HARLEY OKAMI (HE/SHE/THEY)

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Mistress Tokyo is an intelligent, articulate Dominatrix in Sydney, Australia. With over 15 years’ experience in professional and private BDSM she enjoys light to heavy play in most areas.

There is no doubt Mistress Tokyo is also a total sadist, relishing in anal play, CBT, NT, WS, slave training, medical procedures, torture, spanking, corporal punishment, caning, martial arts scenes, takedown, extended scenes and BS.

MISTRESS TOKYO (SYD)

Although she has accrued diverse interests in her professional career, she describes herself as a highly fetishistic bondage

Mistress Tokyo prides herself on being highly creative and original, as she is often told by her regular slaves. “I keep them guessing - even after years of seeing each otheAfter many years of living her passion, Mistress Electra Amore is transitioning from being an independent Dominatrix, into working as a Emotional Clearer & Spiral Practitioner. Where she explores the subconscious mind and the roots of her clients conditioning with the intention to help them to clear the pathway to the person they seek to be and to lead the life style they wish for.

Top with a strong sadistic streak who enjoys intense and invasive scenes.

ELECTRAMISTRESSAMORE

(WORLD NOMADIC)

Mistress Electra Amore is one of Australia’s accomplished Professional Dominatrices, and known for her Intense, Sensual and Dominant nature. The depth of Electra’s knowledge, skills, and experience is enthusiastically shared when she teachers. Allowing for her participants to learn in a manner that sculpts their mind, broadens their horizons, and brings a sense of joy and safety when learning the art of BDSM, fetish, kink, and role play Electratechniques.was trained in the traditional style at the House of Domination in Melbourne, by the original owner Mistress Britt, during the mid 90’s. What started out as fulling her curiosity and finding a space for her dominant nature, Electra has made a career out of being a Dominatrix. Which has led her to work in many areas of fetish around the world including the UK, Europe and Australia. Mid way through her career Electra undertook additional study in Urban Tantra, Somatic Sexology and the Wheel of Consent to enhance her ability to understand herself first and foremost which then led her to understand her subjects to a deeper level.

Mistress Tokyo specializes in all forms of bondage, most particularly Japanese Shibari rope bondage. Mistress Tokyo adores heavily fetishistic scenes involving latex and leather.

Social InstagramTwitterMedia:-@jaidenlillith-@saijaidenlillithart / @saijaidenlillith Facebook - @Sai Jaiden Lillith Official Website - fieldsoflillith.com Eve X is a Shamanatrix, Bizarrlady and flesh artist based in Melbourne. An erotic guide, pornographer and activist, Eve integrates esoteric arts into experiences of ecstasy and ordeal. A polyamorous, pansexual, genderfluid switch, Eve is fascinated by power, desire and shame, and the hidden wisdoms of the body.

Social EveOfficialFacebookInstagramTwitterMedia:-@theevex-@the_eve_x-@theevexprojectWebsite-theevex.comandLillithhavecreated beautiful content and performances together, and conspire constantly to dance along the edges of light and dark, sensuality and sadism, sex and magic.

Sparks began tying together with Emerald where they soon both found a passion for rope. Learning quickly both locally and travelling interstate at every chance to further knowledge. Sparks began taking on an educational role and not long thereafter they began teaching and performing interstate. Rope then carried through to travelling to Japan to further continue his education. In February of 2020, during his trip to Japan, Sparks was then accepted into the position of deshi to Nawashi Kanna Sensei and recieved his teaching certificate in the style of KannaRyu. And with further development has been called a ‘shihan’ instructor under kanna ryu. His early trouble shooting, and un-canny memory enables him to modify and skilfully adapt ties to each model. The deep intimacy and connections conveyed through rope is what Sparks enjoys most about shibari. This along with the precision and control imbedded into Kanna ryu, is how he shapes his ties, and create experiences, each unique to itself just as the next.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine58 Sai Jaiden Lillith is a Melbourne based gender fluid prodom/ me, escort, activist, creator of visual erotica, artist and Shibari addict. Known for their gorgeous and creative rope work and performances, love of exploring taboo and transgression, Sai returns to OzKinkFest to teach their wicked ways.

SAI JAIDEN LILLITH

SPARKS & MRS RUBYROUGE (SA)

SIDNEY SADAH

Having a professional scuba dive-master and rescue diver training has aided her to cultivate prudent BDSM play. She loves incorporating these skills into her classes. Her other interests are: pain, power dynamics, coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

MISTRESS MISTY

Sidney Sadah is a 22 year old Melbourne-based rigger. Using her skills gathered as a young and upcoming Melbourne artist she has spent the last five years working on developing her rigging skills and techniques both online and in-person.Sidney has been practicing with a strong focus on sharing a spiritual experience with bonded participants with the intention to explore a deeper self through SinceShibari.2021

As of recently, Sidney has been running a female only rope jam to help others discover the artistic beauty and connection that Shibari can bring in a safe and welcoming environment. You can find her on Instagram as @sidneysadah

Alex is a junior doctor by day, kitchen bitch by night, proud trans advocate (*including non-binary and all gender expressions) all day, every-day. If anyone has kink- related medical questions, he will always be happy to help to the best of his knowledge, as he loves to incorporate evidencebased medicine safely into kink. Many things interest Alex, but he is particularly into pain, impact, sharp things + blood, and will always be up to a challenge to escape from any form of bondage.

Sidney has been sharing the art of shibari in her interpretation through performance and will continue to with ms nighteyes in the coming years.

Alex is neurodiverse and an introvert, but when he isn’t busy running around hospitals, you can usually spot Alex hidden behind a screen doing research for trans health, daydreaming about the next kink event or he will be home drinking scotch and cuddling their 3 cats.

Misty is a professional dominatrix and has been working for over a decade at the oldest BDSM dungeon in Melbourne. She is passionate about teaching and helping individuals explore their own sexuality in a safe space. Misty has been on her own kink adventures around the world- she previ ously performed in the 10th Montreal Fetish weekend in Canada, worked with Serious Bondage in San Francisco and played professionally in London and Canada. In Australia, she is also proud to be working with her fellow Dommes at Domina parties. Most recently she worked with Demasque magazine and performed at ATOMICA.

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ALEX BOI-

Mistress Zoe is a professional Dominatrix, currently working at Fetish House. She completed her apprenticeship in 2014 and has been facilitating sessions that span the spectrum of BDSM ever since. Zoe specialises in Corporal Punishment, and Her primary interest is caning. Prior to Her kink career, Mistress Zoe worked in the not for profit sector as a motivational speaker and workshop facilitator. She is currently enjoying her role, running training workshops for new professionals at Fetish House and is excited to continue sharing Her love of caning with the wider community.

SURJACK

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Pollyfilla AKA Colin McLean is one of New Zealand’s foremost drag queens. In a career that has now lasted for over 20 years, she has devised and performed sell-out live shows, been hailed as a “Wellington icon” by the city’s mayor, hosted various pageants, acted as the mistress of ceremonies at the annual Wellington Gay and Lesbian Fair, appeared in films and television shows. For the last 15 years, she has resided in Melbourne, Australia, where she has continued to build her reputation and entertain crowds with stunning live shows. Australians have taken Polyfilla to their hearts, and in 2018, she was inducted into the Melbourne Drag Awards Hall of Fame.

has been in the public BDSM scene for over a dozen years. In that time, he’s researched and implemented new and exciting forms of play to the scene in both Australia and New Zealand. He further developed wax play into an artistic form. Master Jack introduced micro-branding to the Melbourne scene, is head of the house of Ashkor and a member of the AlphaCarn Leather Family. He is also producer and organiser of the Australian Master slave Contest (AMsC) and on the committee of Victorian Leather Inc. Master Jack can often be found out and about doing what he does best, pushing boundaries and perceptions and playing hard in the BDSM scene.

McLean was born in Wellington in 1978. He began performing in drag after dropping out of college and getting a job with the mail service.

POLLYFILLA

After a short spell working in a fancy dress shop, he took the plunge and became a freestyle costume designer and drag performer. After moving to Melbourne, Polyfilla joined one of the city’s leading drag troupes, New Sensation. When they disbanded, she found plenty of work on the drag circuit, first starring in a production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and soon developing popular shows of her own, including Sex and the City (a show designed to tie in with the release of the film of the same name) and Pollywood.

Short on money, he made his own costumes, and as they became more complex, he enrolled at Wellington Polytechnic to study fashion. Before long, however, he’d dropped out and instead furthered his design skills at the Bowerman School of Design.

ZOEMISTRESSDEMURE

Bexy was born with a creative risk-taking adventurous nature and a highly sensual sexual drive, kink has always been in me. I am a hedonistic switch and a devoted sub in a 24/7 D/s relationship, being collared has allowed me the freedom to safely spread my wings and deeply embrace the BDSM lifestyle. I have worked as a GRM for 18mths at one of Australia’s most beautiful Fetish Clubs, which in turn gave me a regular platform to meet and play with kinksters from all over the world. Having found not only a lot of fun but also healing within kink play I take great joy in meeting new people, sharing experience, guiding with knowledge and trying new things; cause who knows what Pandora’s Box will next yelled?!

Visit www.zenrope.com or find us on social medi at zen_rope

DREADFULPENELOPE

Miss Penelope Dreadful – a professional pervert of international repute – is a delightful deviant who can resist everything except the temptation to incorporate wordplay into Her biographies… okay so She doesn’t so much resist as welcome temptation with open arms and introduce it to some other interesting excuses for bad habits. Miss Penelope has toured Australia extensively and most recently the parts of the world comprising the UK, the US, New Zealand and Japan and believes there is always a way to mix pleasure and business. As She now has 10 years of professional perversion under Her belt, this is a well-tested has presented classes on Spanking and on Sharps play in London, and has attended DomCon in Los Angeles and New Orleans as a Special Guest, Mistress of Ceremonies and Guest of Honor (sic). She coordinates a monthly impact play skill share and demonstration in Sydney – The Drum, and runs Domina Parties Australia. She is thrilled to be joining Oz Kink Fest as a presenter in presenter in 2022

VIC & BEXY

Misshypothesis.Penelope

Vic has been an active member of the Australian Leather Community for the past 20 years. She is currently the President of Brisbane Leather Pride and is a well respected advocate for alternate relationships and lifestyle. Vic has been the President of The Order of Seven, Dykes on Bikes and The Independent Company. Vic is a founding member of her leather family ‘Krave Kink’ and she regularly provides educational workshops on all things kink and alternate lifestyles. Vic is one of the resident DM’s at Haven and has DM’d at many major Leather events. Vic is the current title holder of Queensland Ms Leather and formally trained as both a Submissive and Dominant.

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KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine62

“A SENSUAL & PROVOCATIVE INNER MONOLOGUE TO “AROPE”Fiery fusion of Rope, Urban Blues and Suspension” provocative Rope, Pop, Soul hybrid

Being a Leo with a natural ability to show off, along with an absolute passion for dancing & expression, a love of being on stage and of dressing up – what else was Sparkarella supposed to do other than entertain?

Pioneering club nights such as Queer Central and Sissy, this homegrown DJ and Producer is considered spinning royalty in her hometown of Sydney and has worked every veritable corner of the scene — both above ground and below — to master a sound that is quintessentially Sveta. The company this unique talent keeps is testament to her work. Regularly on demand, Sveta continues to work the stage with both legendary and emerging DJs who share her passion for breaking new ground.

_M_

From Sydney’s fiercest and dearest club nights through to the underground parties that line New York City’s sub-cultures and beyond, DJ Sveta has been socking it to audiences fresh from behind the decks for almost two decades.

-A

On relocating to Melbourne in 2001, Sparkarella quickly emersed herself in the performance scene and founded acrocontemporary troupe Hektix. Then, soon after, the notorious “Queens of Neo-Burlesque” The Voodoo Trash Dolls were born, of which Sparkarella was co-founder. It was here, in amongst a fiery frenzy of metal sparks and burning flesh that the signature angle-grinding show was born.

PAUL Rigger Paul comes from 7+ years in the Kink community as a regular shibari and impact scene organiser. He’s most known from his bi-monthly performances at variousvenues in Melbourne with his friendly and approachable style to kink. Studying the better part of 6+ years from various rope masters in and around Australia, Paul brings an energetic, sensual and many-sided approach to his performances, whether heavily in rope or using flame arts.

After stepping on stage aged five, classically and contemporary trained for many many years in New Zealand, Sparkarella packed up and left for London. Here she became involved in circus arts and fused with abstract contemporary performance danced & hightailed it throughout England and Europe with Zoid Induction. Huge costumes, hanging from cranes, fire, power tools, and dangerous & twisted movement were all in a days work.

SPARKARELLA

DJ SVETA

Coming from a stage musical, film and Martial Arts background, M brings a fiery approach to her performances with a simple mantra: keep it sexy, keep it memorable, make it sizzle. With 6 years in the local scene, M has established herself as a variable and mixed performer, focusing on bringing a hybrid combination of performance styles into kink, to create an eclectic and engaging storytelling experience for the audience.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 63 CAPTAIN RUIN (AUTOCANNIBAL, CIRCUS OZ, TORTURE@CAPTAINRUINGARDEN)

MARIJA THE PETEROTICAROMANTIC

Gayer than Elton Johns bum bag and filthier than a public toilet peterotica is here to replace that toy in the dresser. Having lost their husband in 2018, Peterotica has found the courage to start performing again, but this time on their own terms. With performances designed to shock the senses, stir the loins and make you wet. They’re ready to show you how far they’ve come (pun intended)and welcome you into their world of kink and fetish with open legs.

This shellshocked punk rock clown hit every stair on his way down as he fell from the stages of the world and landed in the gutter with the stars. Smashing together fetish clowning with performance art, previous audiences have been heard to say ‘wow!’, and ‘why?!’. Returning to Hellfire Resurrection for the first time since a blood soaked performance in 2017, this promises to be an act to remember. Or forget - your choice.

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If I believe I am NOT in my nervous system Window of Tolerance because one or more of my three aspects are OUT of balance, then I know I am NOT in my op timal state for making a decision. This means I could abstain from making my decision and that I could consider not saying “yes” or “no” but taking time out instead. If I can’t take time out, I could use a mindful ness exercise and then see if that puts me back into my Window of Tolerance of my nervous system, or my Consent Zone. I then could use the model again to analyse my experience across the three aspects of thoughts, feelings and body sensations to see if I am

The Mindful ConsentTM Model and Process Mistress Tokyo

Image 1: Image 2: Consent separates BDSM from assault, but beyond repeating phrases like “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” and “Safe, Sane and Consensual”, how do we ascertain whether an action, person or situation is right for us in that moment? We tend to rely on intuition and gut in stinct, but beyond that there is not much structure to guide us.

IG: @mindful_consent_model

The model has three aspects, with a total of four parts; Aspect 1 - your Thoughts in your head, Aspect 2 - your Feelings in your heart, Aspect 3 - your Sensations in your body, and The Consent Zone - where they bal ance

The three aspects are the process dimensions of your experience. I believe these need to be in balance for you to be in the best state to say “yes”, “no” or “time out” when making a decision about an action, person or situation. When the aspects are in balance, I call this state the “Consent Zone”.

The Model in balance: How do you know if the three aspects are in balance?

For me, if I feel “safe enough” across the three process dimensions - whatever that looks like for me as an in dividual - then I believe I am in my Consent Zone and in my best state to make a decision about an action –whether it be “yes”, “no” or that I’m needing “time out”.

For me, this looks like pausing before making a deci sion and analysing my thoughts, feelings and what is happening in my body. My own process involves us ing mindfulness techniques - slowing down both my breathing and my actions and taking some time to my self, ideally in private. This helps me think more clearly (Thoughts Aspect), to get a hold of my emotions (Feel ings Aspect) and ascertain what type of sensation my body is expressing (Body Sensations Aspect). I then make a call as to whether I think I am in my sympa thetic nervous system Window of Tolerance or if I am leaving that state and approaching a state of fight, flight, freeze or appease. I believe I am in my nervous system Window of Tolerance if my three aspects are in balance – in my Consent Zone – my optimal state for making a decision. I feel they are in balance if, for ex ample, my thoughts are not catastrophising, I am not feeling emotions like anger or anxiety, and my body does not exhibit unusual stress or tension brought about by the decision. Therefore, I know I am “safe enough” to proceed with my decision, whether it is “yes” or “no”.

The Mindful ConsentTM Model:

To remedy this, I created a consent model called Mind ful ConsentTM. I believe the model can assist people to understand where they’re at as to whether an ac tion is right for them in the moment of decision-mak ing, or even whether it’s a good time for them to make a decision. The aim of the model is to help people bet ter identify what they are feeling in the moment when faced with a decision, whether they are in a state of “yes”, “no” or needing “time out”. Through using the model, I hope people can develop a better relationship with themselves and others when co-creating deci sions based in mutual consent. What does the Model look like?

FB: mindfulconsentmode l

Using the Model to ascertain your state in relation to your Consent Zone:

JUDGE whether you are “safe enough” to make a deci sion – whether you’re in your Consent Zone

Image 1:

The crux of the Mindful ConsentTM decision making process is: (see page 53) When contemplating a decision... SENSE your thoughts, feelings and body sensations and use MINDFULNESS to downregulate yourself

ANALYZE your thoughts, feelings and body sensa tions in relation to your fight, flight, freeze or appease response

the Mindful ConsentTM model centers our experience when making a decision regardless of whether our bodies are often dysregulated, regardless of whether we have histories of trauma and abuse, and as people who often experience external and internal pressures when making decisions involving consent. I hope people such as kinksters, who regularly engage in activities requiring greater levels of interoception across consent, find the model and process particu larly useful. I hope the model clarifies our experience of decision making, and our experience of ourselves during decision making, to build relationships of soli darity with our own embodied truth. If you are interested in hearing more about the Mindful ConsentTM model and decision process, I’m releasing a course on Udemy in Sept 2022. Email me at info@ mindfulconsentmodel.com for more information.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 65 back into my Window of Tolerance/my consent zone. From here, if I was STILL not back in my Consent Zone, I would abstain from making the decision all together until I can collect myself.

Aagainlimitation of the Mindful ConsentTM model is that we need to develop a habit of using it as an interven tion. This is because we may be in a state of dysregu lation and outside of our Window of Tolerance when contemplating a decision. We may be in a state of hy poarousal, such as dissociation, or hyperarousal, such as being highly anxious, and not be able to remember the model in our toolkit of interventions to self-soothe because we are unable to think clearly. Here, the mod el has the same limitation as any other intervention. Additionally, use of the model may be contraindicated if people with a trauma history find mindfulness trig gering. If you are one of these people, please consult your therapist before using the model and decision

If you are SAFE ENOUGH, make your decision – yes, no or maybe/take time out If you don’t feel SAFE ENOUGH, or if your answer is a MAYBE, consider doing another mindfulness tech nique then go through the decision-making process

Iprocess.believe

Socials: www.mindfulconsentmodel.com Twitter: @ConsentModelImage 2:

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine68 The Art of www.theartofrope.com.auRope Providing a one stop shop for fabulous, colourful nylon rope. SKorpionChromaknotzRope Knothead Nylon Dye Addict Rope Damn Good Rope Co Australian Official Reseller

by j Hats September 3, 2021

Rough sex has been deeply rooted in sex for thou sands of years and can include things like spanking, whipping, bondage, scratching and so much more. Not only are these ways to spice up sexy play, but can also be a way to explore new roles sexually. This can be a way to relieve tension, escape reality or gain/relinquish control that is not often had in daily lives. When done safely and consensually, it’s a great way to deepen the connection with your partner. There are plenty of toys available to heighten the sensation such as claws for cosplay, metal claws, and nylon claws.

What Makes Scratching Feel so Good?

What to Know When Scratching During Kink Play

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Scratching dates as far back as the Kama Sutra, with one chapter even detailing the fact that scratches are marks of love and pleasure. It’s a way to stay con nected with your partner during rough sex or foreplay. The Kama Sutra describes eight different types of nail marks to leave on the partner’s body for pleasure and domination. The practices in the Kama Sutra are still being used today as we now know why people like claws. Claws for BSDM, and other kinks are still on the rise today.

In the end, it’s important to know and understand that scratching is something that is meant to bring plea sure to you and your partner during intimacy, not to inflict unwanted pain. Mutual consent is always nec essary along with constant communication.

Do you like to rake your nails across your partner’s back? How about receiving it? Scratching can be a fun and sexy form of sensation play that adds some spice to your love life and brings more attention to foreplay. Scratching is a great way to get a bit rougher and animalistic during kink play. The great thing about scratching is that it can be something as innocent or as kinky as you’d like. Your experiences and what you bring to the table will be unique to you and can go whichever way you and your partner like. Whether you’re wanting to know more about why people like claws, claws for kink play, or you’re just looking into a bit of experimenting then this article will help you!

Know the Power of Rough Sex

Why Do We, As Humans, Like Scratching?

Whether you’re growing out your nails or needing claws for cosplay, there are so many things that you must keep in mind. Scratching isn’t just some domi nation thing, it goes far beyond that. It is an explora tion of sensation play. Scratching is something that anyone can do; it’s not isolated to just one role. There is pleasure to be had as giver and as receiver. It’s something that can feel good for all parties involved as it brings out our primal senses. Long nails are not necessarily needed when it comes to scratching dur ing sexual play anymore. Many people are not inter ested in having long nails, they are not appropriate for some activities at all. We have a range of sensation play toys to help address that issue. Both metal claws and nylon claws are readily available for purchase to help heighten the arousal and excitement during play.

Humans are animals, while being far more developed and civilized, we are still animals. We grow nails as a form of protection just like many other animals. We like to scratch, need to scratch; it’s a part of our ani malistic and primal nature. Scratches also leave behind marks that are a nice reminder of our wild primal mo ments. When it comes to giving or receiving scratches, whether from claws for BSDM or claws for kink, they all serve as a pleasant memory that marks were left behind after sexy play.

Consent is the key to kink play. You never have to play at a kink event. No means No and any coercion – be it subtle or overt – is unacceptable. You are absolutely empowered to decline in no uncertain terms, and more often than not, that ‘no’ will be met with respect. There are always Dungeon Monitors (DMs) at kink events and their job is to ensure safe and respectful interaction throughout the event. They are there for the safety and sup port of the patrons, and know how to deal with disrespectful Butplayers.dokeep in mind, participation doesn’t have to mean be ing spanked, flogged or suspended from the rafters – a lot of kink play is sensual and slow. Participation could be a foot massage, a back rub, or braiding hair! There really is some thing for everyone. The only way you’re going to know what kink events are re ally like is by heading along. With everything on offer at Oz Kink Fest, there really is no better place to start. Take it slow at the Fet Expo and After-Party, or dive in deep at Hellfire Resurrection – with such an array of events on offer there is a perfect place for YOU. MisKnickers First published on the Adult Match Maker blog FULL ARTICLE here

The reality of kink parties

DO I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN PLAY:

KINK IS CODE FOR ‘ORGY’: Ummm… Sorry. Nope.

WHAT TO WEAR: There’s an idea that you have to spend a small fortune on outfits just to get through the door, or that people won’t ac cept you if you don’t have the required ‘look’. In most cases, you won’t even have to wear ‘fetish’ gear. Yes, there are dress codes, and even themes on offer for those who re ally enjoy the dressing up, but these are not rules on how to dress – merely suggestions. If you can dress in basic black, or even your favourite club or night wear more often than not, you’ll be fine. Keep in mind that some parties and events do have high protocols for their dress code, these are generally fetish-specific parties, eg. leather, latex, nudity and those wanting to attend are fetishists more than happy to invest in their passion. Be sure to check the dress code for your chosen event, and do your best.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine 71 The fetish scene is often cloaked in mystery, and as much as this is what attracts some people, it’s also the thing that makes others nervous to take the plunge. So let’s settle some of those nerves as we break down some common mis conceptions.

From a purely business perspective kink events must pro vide discretion – if a safe space is not. Just remember, if you do see someone from your “vanilla” life at an event there’s every chance they will be just as surprised as you are.

One of the main reasons people are tentative about heading out to a kink event is fear they’ll bump into a neighbour, col league, or (fuck forbid!) a relative. This is one fear that rarely comes to fruition.

SOMEONE MIGHT SEE ME:

The other brilliant thing about kink events is that masks and hoods are welcome. If you are really adamant no one knows who you are, you won’t look out of place BEING anonymous.

Most people attend kink events to catch up with friends, so cialise with like-minded people, wear something shiny and participate - even simply as a viewer - in kink. There are kink parties that do allow sex on premises, and if this is on your To-Do list be sure to check out our monthly Provocation event.

KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine76 DIRTY BIG TED BEAR’S ALL

It was all very exciting though. It is just like being behind the scenes of a dirty movie. Sex toys and sexy people were buzzing around (literally) everywhere. All throughout the Town Hall. I have never seen so many dongs in one place at the same time. I was so turned on when the stalls were all set up and the stall holders started to all get dressed up in their fetish gear. There was pots and post of flesh, pvc and leather everywhere. It was like Ted vision of heaven. I had to sit on my paws just to make sure I stopped my Dirty-Big-Self doing something really naughty. That position sure didn’t stop Ted doing a tiny bit of self-gratification though. Miss Nina caught me and said if I didn’t behave, she would peg my fuzzy ears back. It wasn’t my ears I wanted pegged. If one little claw could feel so good I could only imagine how much Ted would love a pegging.

DBT. Every year Fetish Expo is Ted’s time to shine. I am so happy to be the official mascot and I get a really good spot to see everything that goes on throughout the day. I do a lot of perving you know. Ted sees things. From where Ted was sitting he could see right up some of those really short skirts that Miss Polly Filla wears. Well did Ted cop an eye full last year. I love Miss Polly Fila. She has so many really pretty frocks but I think there is something a bit “funny under the bonnet”. Ted’s theory is that New Zealand girls are made a bit different to Australian girls. Something a bit extra. I am gunna have me a closer look this year when Polly does those wonderful high kick and see what I can make out.

Ted’s a tit-and-arse kinda Bear but a nice set of pecs and muscle get me just as hot under the rug too. It is such a wonderful day but its all over too quickly. Last year Ted helped with set up for the first time. Well, I tried to help but I am a bit big and clumsy. When I was new to the scene, I would arrive like a celebrity but now Mistress Malice makes Ted work like a slave. Sometimes she treats Ted like a flokati rug. She walk all over Ted and just wipes her Ugg boots on my bum. I love it though and when you see Mistress Malice huffing and stomping around the Town Hall with that clip board, her cheeks are flaming red oooh la la …. and she is growling at this one and growling and that one. It is so darn hot. I love it when she growls at me. Ted would love to growl that honey pot right on back hmmm.

DBT. OOhh yes I sure did. I did have an all-time favourite though and she was GEORGOUS. She had a soft spot for Ted. I know that because I got to paw it. I am so lucky with the sexy, kinky people that I have met since that day when Mistress Malice adducted

K. Last year was the first time you participated in a number of other event during Oz Kink Fest apart from Fetish Expo. I understand you went to several of the workshops. Were they informative and did you learn new things?

K. Well Ted Oz Kink Fest seems to be getting bigger every year and 2022 looks like it will be no different. What were your personal highlights from OZF 2019?

DIRTY BIG TED

K. Is there anything extra special that you are looking forward to this year during Oz Kink Fest? What is Dirty Big Ted’s “Hot Picks” for 2022?

I had to buy 7 of Angela’s special bandanas just to clean myself up. It was lucky I was in the front row. I was so embarrassed but Angela was lovely. What a picture she was laying back on that baby blue yoga matt naked as a newborn from the waist down and just as smooth. She gave Ted the longest wink I have ever seen and said, ever so gently… “now let’s practice big boy”. Ted nearly fainted. I think it was from the loss of fluids.

DBT. After Ted’s Winter hibernation I am hornier than a cane toad. In fact, I can hardly keep my paws off my junk just thinking about all the events that make up Oz Kink Fest. I have realised since I started Mascoting at Fetish Expo that rope really lights Ted’s fire. Wayne doesn’t know but I found a piece of rope in the back yard at L&D’s where I hibernate. When no one is around I sometimes bind up the old little Ted. I wrap it good and tight around those fur balls and then good firm loops right down where little Ted meets the Big Ted. I get harder than a discount at Sax Fetish just thinking about it. Oooohh it feels so good. The slightest touch and that little fella is leaping about like a frog on a lily pad. Wayne said if I am really good I can watch that nice Mr Knight perform his rope art. I have seen pictures of his art. He is so clever. I would really love some rude pictures of Ted looking all sexy tied up in rope for my Growler profile. I wonder if I will be able to keep the little Ted in my cod piece though.

Mistress Tokyo and her special rope friend did this really super show which combined ariel performance with shibari. They were swinging back and forth across the stage like a horny metronome. It wasn’t long before Big Ted was swaying in rhythm to these air-bourn beauties. It didn’t notice at the time but it was so sexy I had popped my cod piece. When I finally looked down there was the little Ted swaying along too. So happy. I have to confess though I was really really bad that night and I was taught a big lesson. Maybe it’s good to air my secret shame since in involves the same beautiful Mistress. I was in such awe of Mistress Toyko I really wanted to tell her how much I loved her show. I saw her striding through the crowd after she had performed. She was so tantalizingly close so, like a silly fat bear I reached out and grabbed her arm so I could introduce myself. If being grabbed by a giant Bear startled her it didn’t show. Kapowee – Mistress delivered one almighty karate kink to Ted’s googlies with the point of her heel. I can say Mistress’s aim is deadly. Ted hardly had time to let out a YELP when Mistress Toyko delivered a cracking slap across Ted’s face. I was dazed and all I can recall was hearing the word “consent”. I tried to make amends and I handed Mistress a $100 note. She slapped my face again, this time even harder, and then strode off through the crowd. Oh my stars it was the best $100 dollars I have ever spent. My balls ached for a month. It was so hot. After that incident Wayne sat the Ted down and explained acceptable behaviour. I will never be disrespectful again.

Ted from Costco. I was just Big Ted then. Now I am a really dirty, dirty bear. I am still a bit shy and some of the people still scare me a bit but they scare me in a dirty horny way that makes me sweat honey out of every pour. Last year was just the best. Wayne finally let Ted go to events other than Fetish Expo. I was the super star of the Dirty Big Teddy Bears picnic did you know? The girls and boys loved Ted. There was some big girls and big boys at the picnic. Renee told me it’s the hormones they put in the chickens these days. Well I loved it. They all wanted to play with Ted and rub themselves all over my fuzzy body. That was so fun and my first visit to Q Space. Because it was so much work getting Ted’s great big arse up the stairs to Q Space Wayne let me stay for some of the workshops. I got to meet Wayne’s friend Girl Ange. Ted gave her the nick name Growl Ange since that was all I could think about. Did you know she was International Miss Leather? It was so exciting to be in the presence of leather royalty and she was really pretty. Ted could get enough of the sweet buttered corn smell of her boobs. Angela was so nice to me. She invited me as her special guest to her workshop. Such an honour. I sat right at the front so I could smell Angela’s boobs. She didn’t tell me it was a workshop for couples though. “Don’t worry Ted, you can practice on me if you would like”. What an honour. I didn’t know at the time, but the workshop was about Fisting and Squirting. It wasn’t very long before Ted was the one squirting. Let me tell you.

Yep I blew my biscuits right there and then. I didn’t even have to touch myself I was so excited. Oh my lordy what a mess I made.

The performances at Hellfire Resurrection were just the bees’ knees last year and I cant wait to see what Mistress Malice has in store for 2022. I bet its going to be good and sexy, and dirty and yummy. DBT. Oh yes indeedy there certainly is a hot pick at Hellfire Resurrection this year. Hot, hot, hot in fact. I saw the most wonderful performance at Hellfire Resurrection last year and I can’t wait to see her on stage again. She was an Amazonian Goddess in 7” stiletto heels. Her name is Mistress Tokyo. Wayne said she comes down from Sydney specially for Oz Kink Fest. I was mesmerised by her. She must be like 7 foot tall and so sexy shiny. Mistress had blazing red lips like a bon fire on Mars, ice water ran through her veins and her skin was pure alabaster.

Ash Snare and Harley Okami invite you to join them on an exploration into the mysteries and possibilities of rope practice. From a foundation of current and best practice safety methods, both rigger and model will learn techniques ranging from the time honored traditional to modern developing styles and dive deep into this expansive art form of connection, expression and intimacy.

Journey into the exotic world of shibari.

Follow Zen Rope on Facebook, Instagram or Eventbrite for more information on up coming classes, events and workshops. Or contact Ash Snare or Harley Okami on your prefered social media platform When : Tuesday nights 6pm 8pm Where: Eaglemont Rope Studio

Fantasy Fair Adult Playwear

We are an Australian based Company. Our prices are in Australian dollars a nd we welcome Interstate and overseas orders. Our products and prices are listed on all pages in the directory on left. Delivery is 4 weeks -6 weeks if item is specially ordered. Items in stock 14 Days delivery. Time maybe slightly longer overseas eg. USA, Canada. We have combined with goldclub wear to bring you the best in unique, specialised leatherwear especially our corsets, hand crafted in the finest leather with flat, medium and long studs, in beautiful colours and textures in kevlar leather and studs with a gorgeous matching halter top. all at the best prices in melbourne and all in sizes from xxs to 7xl. If we haven’t got it in stock we can order it in for you. Don’t miss out on great bargains great outfits, come and see fantasyfair fetish and playwear. A free catalogue is available on disc. Just send us an email using our contact us form. We look forward to hearing from you.Find us on the website here or on Facebook here

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KINK-E | an alternative lifestyle magazine82 Melbournes only dedicated venue for Fetish, Alternative Lifestyle, BDSM and Kink Events and Education Ready to join the club? www.theclubmelbourne.com.au

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I n 2 0 2 1 “ B l u r r y B a b y g i r l ” w a s f o u n d e x p l o r i n g t h e S y d n e y s c e n e o n h e r o w n j o u r n e y o f r e b i r t h , g r o w t h a n d d i s c o v e r y T h e m i s s i n g p i e c e t o t h e m i s s i o n , s h e p r e f e r s t h e s h a d o w s a n d i s n o w t h e b e a u t i f u l f o r c e a n d d r i v i n g e n e r g y t h a t h e l p s t o b r i n g H a d r i a n ’ s d r e a m t o r e a l i t y . T o g e t h e r , a n a r t i s a n a n d h i s h i d d e n p r o p e l l e r b r i n g y o u L e a t h e r b y H a d r i a n , t o h e l p g i v e y o u t h e c o n f i d e n c e t o b e r e a l , a c c e p t i n g , v u l n e r a b l e a n d m o s t o f a l l b e f r e e R S T O R Y · LEATHER in the Mountains, NSW run Babygirl

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I n 2 0 1 9 t h e b o o t s w e r e h u n g u p , s i g n i f y i n g t h e e n d o f a 1 3 y e a r c a r e e r i n t h e m i l i t a r y T h e r e w a s a n e w m i s s i o n t o t a c k l e t h e h a r d s h i p s t h a t w e f a c e i n o u r d a y t o d a y l i v e s ; h o w t o b e r e a l , a c c e p t i n g , v u l n e r a b l e a n d f r e e T h e s e w e r e c h a l l e n g e s H a d r i a n s a w o n a d a y t o d a y b a s i s , i n w a r a n d p e a c e t i m e . I n o t h e r s a n d h i m s e l f . I t w a s t h i s l a c k o f v u l n e r a b i l i t y t h a t h i n d e r e d r e a l h u m a n c o n n e c t i o n a n d a s a r e s u l t , h a p p i n e s s T a k i n g t h e s k i l l s a c q u i r e d o v e r a l i f e t i m e o f A D H D h y p e r f i x a t i o n , L e a t h e r b y H a d r i a n w a s b o r n , c r e a t i n g t h e b e a u t i f u l t o o l s o f c o n n e c t i o n t o h e l p o t h e r s d o j u s t t h a t .

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Rogues Designs is a regional based BDSM and Fetish furniture who enjoys creating art and fetis different materials, Wood, Leather Resin being the main instruments along with Rogues own artistic ab and create Rogue loves customers to create a unique specifically for them.

Custom Steel Chastity Belts

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Fantasy Fair Adult Playwear are an Australian based company. prices are in Australian dollars and prices are listed ages in the directory on e n e e d e d t o i n j e c t a s p l a s h o f c o l o u r i n t o t h e s c e n e S o o u r a i m i s t o o f f e r w e l l t h o u g h t o u t , c o l o u r f u l a n d h a f e t i s h p r o d u c t s ( w e d o m a k e b l a c k s t u f f t o o r d e r ! ) E v e d e s i g n e d a n d m a d e i n o u r s m a l l s t u d i o b a s e d i n M o u n V i c a n d w e l o v e d o i n g c u s t o m o r d e r s a l s o ! Fancy Steel is a collaboration between a fetish enthusiast & a steel craftsman. It sits at the intersection between passionate design and unique craftsmanship. Our goal is to make chastity belts that are hand crafted from the finest Australian materials, both beautiful and alternative.

left. is 4 weeks 6 weeks if item is ordered Items in stock 14 Days Time maybe slightly longer eg USA, Canada All Life Styles, sy outfits are designed to be o your needs; individually styled, unctiona and fun fantasyfair wear Rogue Designs Hand Crafted Custom Kin e b e l i s a s m a l l b u s i n e s s s p e c i a l i s i n g i n h a n d m a d a n d f e t i s h p r o d u c t s . A f t e r s e e i n g t h e o v e r o f b l a c k l e a t h e r p r o d u c t s o u t t h e r e w e d

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Australia’s Premier Authorized Pleaser USA online shoes retailer. We have over 1200 products of high heel shoes and boots, platforms, fetish, burlesque, retro, costume, goth/punk cater for a size range of 5 many SMS/Email support

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Lucrezia de Sade

At Lucrezia & De Sade we have devoted ourselves entirely to the pursuit of your most perverse pleasures We pride ourselves in one of the most comprehensive and diverse collections of quality fetish products in Australia Our product range may even awaken fetishes you never knew you had!

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The Lucrezia & De Sade team have been working for over a decade to cater for as many fetishes as possible with quality Australian made products Much of our stock is designed and manufactured right on the premises. Our own range is complimented by some of the best BD/SM and fetish products from around Australia and overseas While our shelves are filled to capacity with the exciting, the exotic and the unusual, we simply cannot carry everything So, if you have something “special” in mind, we can usually either make it or source it for you Because our range is so extensive we have not been able to list everything on our site just yet But we will keep working on it Why not click on our logo to go to our website?

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The south east’s most interesting adult store Located on the Frankston Dandenong Rd., we have off street parking, easy access and friendly male and female staff We are out of the way for your privacy and close to transport for your convenience The best for you from 3,000+ lines We cater to alternative lifestyles as well as couples, friends and singles looking for something special We have Victoria’s widest range of steel and leather; Top brand toys for women and men;Lingerie, briefs, costumes and playwear for men and women; Custom manufacturing; Importing; and We have expert staff to help you choose

HOUSE HOF OUSE HOF OUSE OF HELLA HELLA HELLA The Obtainery makes ethical creations that want you to feel special and express your inne awesome With a strong focus on keeping it out of landfil the stories of the upcycled pieces are woven into hand made designs for an immersive wearing experience Wear unique, because you are unique Unleash the passion! Fetish Photography, BDSM canvas art Preloved fetish clothing (most brand new) Selling photography prints Sasha Von Plundercat Shibari ropes & gear, rope floggers, massage oils & lubes, candles, wooden paddles & canes.

Latex 42 l h Fl ff At Latex 42 we create bespoke made to measure latex clothing, bags, and accessories Along with a range of Heavy rubber items such as Collars, Cuffs, Harness and other restrains, made from high quality heavy rubber sheet. We make all our items with care and attention to detail, so we can provide each person with something that is right for them. To craft something for someone and see how much they enjoy wearing it, is just something we love to see. Based in Melbourne, MAustralia odels instagram @evanadelune e passion project of Missy Kirgi, a place re color, costuming and fetish combine. ting in a huge variety of beautiful corsets, ccessories and even sometimes toys. corporating historical inspirations with dern styles and using as many recycled materials as possible to lower the environmental impact of fashion Rose Foxes CREATIVE CREATIVE CREATIVE by bcrispy y bcrispy y crispy Bespoke Thottery handmade stripper wear, bikinis, swimwear etc.

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many people fetishise the feet. Studies have noted that within the brain’s body map, the genitals and the feet are adjacent to each other. Neurologists suggest that cross wiring in this area connects the genitals and the feet resulting in the podophilic fetish. As much as the ‘why’ might be fascinating, we may never have a definitive answer – just more theories. All our kinks are complex, and the reasons for partak ing are more than likely different for everyone, de spite how common they may be. But when it comes to our feet we can probably agree they deserve some love – even if it’s just a snuggly pair of slippers.

First published on the Adult Match Maker blog ARTICLE here feet!

The feet are one of the most highly fetishised body parts. We see this time and time again with how much effort kinksters put into their footwear. Known as ‘podophilia’ there’s research suggesting close to 50% of people who fetishize a body part, fetishize the feet - quite incredible when you consider how small a percentage of the body they constitute. But for the small space they take up, our feet do a tremendous job. An average day of walking can equate to hun dreds of tonnes of force on the feet – yep. TONNES! Our feet contain a quarter of the bones in our body, and contain more nerve endings and sweat glands per square centimetre than any other part of the body. They are incredibly sensitive and hard-working body parts, so it’s no wonder so many of us want to pay them some extra attention. And if feet weren’t worshipped enough, objects associated with the feet – footwear, pedicures, hosiery – have an even higher rate of fetishisation with stats suggesting around 65% of fetishists desire podophilic objects. Being one of the most common fetishes, podophilia has been relatively easy for both psychologists and neurologists to study. There’s a tendency for psychol ogists believe that all our strong passions and desires have their roots in childhood, and the wiring is estab lished early. There’s a belief that, as small children, we focus on the feet, both our own and others. Prior to walking, much of our focus is on controlling our feet and observing how others utilise theirs. Si multaneously we are also learning how to connect with others and have our needs met on some very basic (and vital levels). In this way we make a deep connection between our feet and our needs. Neu rologists also speak of a connection to reason why so

FULL

Communicate Talk to each other

The anus is a passage about 6 cm long and contains two muscles – the internal and external sphinc ter. This is what we commonly call the arse-hole. It the stretching of these muscles which often re sult in the first experience of discomfort. Learning to relax the external sphincter makes for easier pen etration. (The internal sphincter is not so easy to learn to relax as it is part of the autonomic nervous system.)

Anal playand anal sex

It is through the rectum, on men, we are able to stimu late our prostate gland. This walnut-sized gland is lo cated below the bladder in front of the rectum. It is pos sible for men to experience an array of sensations from prostate stimulation. The final piece of anatomy to know about are the pel vic floor muscles. These muscles are found in the lower part of torso and control such actions as bladder and bowel movements, as well as our arousal and orgasm. The anal sphincters also forms part of these muscles. Spend some time exploring your anus. Sit in a warm bath, or in the shower, and let your fingers explore. Feel the anus and the pressure as you push against it. Use some lubricant and allow yourself to explore feel your rectum and for guys, find your prostate. Understanding how your body works only increase your opportunity for more pleasurable sex.

The How To’s As Julie Andrews sings, “Let’s start at the very begin ning; A very good place to start.” Knowing what to do can make anal play safe and fun. Here are some tips.

Anal Play and Enjoyment

It is fun! (Or can be if you know what you are doing –more about that later.) The anus (and rectum) has many nerves. For men the anus is the gateway to the pros tate gland, which when played with can be enjoyed by any man. Women can experience orgasms through anal play while others report a sense of closeness with their partners. Anal play can be exciting, because of the so cial taboos challenges what society says is normal – a perception of breaking the rules.

Once through the anus there is the rectum. The rectum is around 20 cm and has an ‘S-shaped’ bend to it. The rectum and anus are able to stretch and therefore can accommodate small or medium size objects inserted.

The Sex in Australia study published in 2003 reported around 1% of heterosexual people surveyed had anal intercourse in their most recent sexual encounter (note MOST recent encounter) (de visser et al, 2003). In the same study, around 21% of heterosexual mean and 15% heterosexual women had reported engaging in anal intercourse over their lifetime. In my practice I often field questions from men about anal sex. Some men discover the pleasures and joys of anal play and want to know if it is normal. (Yes!). While other men want to know if it is okay to want to play with their anus even though they are straight. (Again Oneyes!) of the issues is the belief that only gay men enjoy or do anal sex/play. This is a myth. Not all gay men en gage in anal sex/play. The anus (and rectum) has many nerves and it is through the anus the prostate can be manipulated/played with, so anal play can be enjoyed by any man.

Anal play and anal sex like many sex topics are not of ten discussed. There are many myths about anal play: it’s immoral; it’s weird; only sluts do anal sex; anal sex is dirty; anal sex is painful; only gay men have anal sex.

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Know Your Body – It’s Time to Explore ... Understanding the anatomy is important.

It is important to discuss what you want (and don’t want) when it comes to anal play. As part of the talking about it strategy is to talk about when to stop (THINK: safe word – like your most disliked footy team; When this word is said it is clear you mean stop/no!) Spend

Spend a moment thinking about where your ideas about anal sex/play have originated. Much of what people know originates in social myth and messages. Good information is important when thinking about anal play. Anal play/sex can be fun, clean and wonder ful when approached in a positive way.

How Often do people Engage in Anal Sex?

Dr. Christopher Fox

some time researching together with your partner or even by yourself to get ideas. There are many blogs about anal sex and each one offers something different.

Start Small and Build Up Try starting with a finger or small vibrator (with a flared base) and allow the anal sphincter muscles to get use to action and for you to relax. I would not recommend by starting off by trying to insert a dildo, larger vibrator or penis to begin. As you get use to the feelings and sensations (and you begin to relax more) then try for something a bit bigger – maybe your partner’s penis.

Sitting on a toy or penis provides control to the recep tive partner as well. They can control the entry. Being comfortable in the squat potion is a pre-requisite pos sibly. Once you are used to anal play, try the doggie po sition. It is a good way to achieve orgasm and also gives the receptive partner free access to their genitals too.

First things first Start with a massage and let your partner focus on mas saging your buttocks and down to your perineum. This will assist you to relax. Another relaxing technique, for the pelvic floor muscles anyway, is image breathing down through body and out your anus as you breathe out of your mouth.

Getting Ready/Clean n Go

Techniques for Increased Anal Pleasure

A Final Word Discuss, relax and enjoy. I always state to the partner of a woman, that if he wants anal sex with his partner, then he should be prepared to take something as big if not bigger than his penis in his own anus. It is a good way to get a man to think about why their partner may not be sure and also is good way to open lines of com munication about anal play and anal sex. Remember a healthy life includes a healthy sex life.

You’re in control

The receptive partner is in control. It is important to remember to allow the receptive partner to set the pace and be the one in control of this sexual encounter. They decide when they are ready and in what position the action will start and how it will start. Many people (women and men) internalise their fears of anal sex and this translates into tensing, muscles, especially the pel vic floor muscles. Tension in the pelvic floor does not make for easy and comfortable entry.

To help relax the anus, I often recommend the use of the “anal breath”. This simple little breath helps relax the anus and makes penetration easier. Take a deep breath in through your nose and as you breathe out of your mouth imagine the breath travelling down through your body and out through your anus. You might have to practice a few times, yet you will feel the anus relaxing.

Never go from anal to vaginal play/intercourse. Wash your finger/s, hand, toy/s, penis or mouth. It is possible to transfer anal flora to the vagina as well as germs and this can be problematic.

People are sometimes concerned about faecal matter during anal play. The anus is generally clear of faeces unless it is time evacuate your bowel. If the bowel ha recently been emptied then the rectum is generally clean. There may be a small amount of faecal matter. If cleanliness is a concern use a latex glove or finger dom, or a condom on a toy. Washing the anus will help clean away immediate faecal matter. You may consider douching if you are really worried – but really it is not necessary. I would suggest having a shower or bath to gether beforehand as it helps set the mood and also will assist both partners to relax. Relaxing is one of the keys.

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Lubricate

There can never be too much lubricant. Lubricant is the key. Not spit, not soap, not an oil-based lubricant. Try using a silicon lubricant or a good quality water-based lubricant which is a necessity if playing with toys. Lu bricant will help with entry and motion and ease the discomfort some people feel as they pass through the anus/anal sphincters. Remember though, silicone lubri cant is not recommended for use with silicone toys!

Learn to control your pelvic floor muscles for increased pleasure. To exercise these muscles there are two tech niques. Pretend to urinate and then stop, you will feel the muscles contract and also feel your genitals move. A similar exercise more focused on the anal sphincter is to contract this muscle like you do when having a bowel movement.

Position Makes Perfect

The No-No, Never

Try a position which is comfortable for the receptive partner. The all-fours-taken-from-behind position may be a little daunting initially. A position which provides comfort for the receptive partner and a level of con trol will help them to relax those pelvic floor muscles. A side-spoon position will provide a comfortable position and not allow deep penetration. It is also easy for the insertive partner to reach around and stimulate their partner’s genitals adding to the pleasure.

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