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” l a i r o t i d E y g “The Ed Happy July, everyone!

It’s our second birthday edition!

Two years already—who would have thought it? But here we are, stronger than ever. We still have a long way to go to get anywhere near The Edge, our predecessor.

They celebrated twenty-six birthdays and produced 321 editions. We’d need to publish weekly to get even close to that in our lifetimes!

So, with both candles extinguished, the cake consumed and the presents opened, what do we have in store for you in this month’s magazine?

Check out my column on page 18 where I was honoured to spend an afternoon with England’s World Cup legends of yesteryear.

To a man they agreed that England could bring home the World Cup. Blimey that prediction might not have aged well by the time this magazine hits the streets!!

Also take a look at The Over the Edge Big Interview this month.

We are delighted to support The Pride of Essex Awards. Such a worthy event. Let’s get behind this. Nominate now!

In other news, our in-house AI guru, Fugsy, who writes on page 31, reports a great deal of activity on the Edge Agentic website and QR link. I do recommend taking a look at what AI can do for your business. Exciting times or scary times? I have no idea whatsoever, but I do know that artificial intelligence cannot be ignored.

Fugsy is even offering a £500 referral fee if you introduce a business to Edge Agentic. Terms and conditions apply. What are you waiting for? It’s all give, give, give in this month’s magazine!

So there you have it: a proper rollercoaster birthday edition of your favourite magazine. We hope you enjoy our humble little offering.

Happy birthday to us!

Over the Edge graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

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The Literary Corner

by Kat de Naoum Hey, kids. This month’s book recommendation is The Hobbit. It’s a great book. You’ll love it. Now, pass this magazine on to your parents and go out and play in the summer sun. Go on! Shoo! Scram! Well, hello, parents. So, whilst most assume that American Independence began in 1783 when America officially secured its victory over the British with the signing of the Treaty of Paris, or even in 1781 with the infamous Battle of Yorktown led by the then-General George Washington, in all actuality, one must cast one’s mind back even further to 1776 when the first inklings of the American Revolution— Are… Are they gone? The kids? Phew, good.

Because this month’s book picks are, let’s just say, for grown-ups only. One is so scandaleux it had respectable society clutching its pearls for decades. The other has themes of desire, obsession, and the body linked to one woman’s seemingly innocuous decision to stop eating meat. Neither is likely to be found on a primary school curriculum any time soon. And I don’t want to hear anyone talking about film adaptations either (I’m talking to my sister here, who feels that because she saw the film she can skip the book…

Get reading, woman!), because nothing will prepare you for what your eyes will see and what your imagination will whip up. Will they revive an otherwise dwindling love life? One of them just might. Will they awaken something you thought long gone and send you off on an existential crisis? I wouldn’t rule it out. But will they make you relish the beauty of language and have you wearing your title of bookworm like a badge of honour? Most definitely. Both books are slow burners, but both had me staring at a wall afterwards. My usual sign-off of “enjoy” is delivered with a little extra pep this month and perhaps a few alternative entendres. En-joy!

Book of the Month — July 2026

Oldie but Goodie

The Vegetarian (2007) Han Kang

Lady Chatterley’s Lover (1928) D.H. Lawrence

I’ve had this book on my bookshelf for years and I think the reason I hadn’t reached for it

Lady Chatterley's Lover... my word. We all knew it was saucy. We know it was banned

was its PG-sounding title. I can now assure you that this is not a light read, and while

and labelled filth, smut, and debauchery, all of which, of course, made it the only book

it’s not exactly sexual, it is most definitely sensual. There’s something to be said for a plot that sounds deceptively simple: a married couple are rocked when the wife decides to become vegetarian. I mean, what could possibly happen from that, enough to flesh out an entire novel? Trust me, a whole lot. I absolutely love where the author takes this story and, if you go in spoiler-free, I promise

anyone at uni wanted to get their hands on.

This one is, indeed, pure filth in the most gorgeous way imaginable. Now, I'm about to say something and I need you not to slam this page shut and write me off.

you won’t see it coming. I don’t mean that there’s a shock ending or a twist you’d find in a psychological thriller (and if that’s what you’re after, this probably isn’t the right read for you), but there were several “Well, that escalated!” moments where I found myself wondering how on earth we got here from someone simply deciding not to eat meat.

This beautifully written book is translated from Korean, and while the stunning prose is a testament to the translator, all credit goes to Han Kang—a Nobel Prize in Literature winner, no less—who also teaches creative writing in South Korea and has made me seriously consider hopping on a plane and enrolling in one of her classes.

The narrative of The Vegetarian carries you along like you’re floating on a lilo down a gently moving river. The sun is beaming down, you’re feeling the warmth, but a subtle breeze keeps the heat at bay. The sound of the water lulls you into a gorgeous stupor. The scent of nature hangs in the air. All your senses are engaged. You’re faintly aware that you’re travelling somewhere, but you don’t care where because the journey itself is so delectable. As you drift along, you’re also aware that the end is fast approaching. But you don’t much mind whether you’re gently washed onto a beach or dragged over a ravenous waterfall (I won’t tell you which). Despite my sunny river analogy, this is no beach read. Kang's novels are written to make you think, and think you will.

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Hear me out. I have read the first Fifty Shades book. I know.

But I had to know for myself that it was rubbish. Needless to say, I didn't read the sequels. Now D.H. Lawrence—a name which really shouldn't even be mentioned in the same paragraph as that other book—has created a character who makes Christian Grey look like a mildly interesting colleague in comparison. Lawrence is a literary genius. I know, I’ve thrown that term around quite a bit, but I never use it loosely. This book is… the language… the love… the emotion… the sheer feeling... Everything happening to the characters in this book is happening to the reader. It's physical, quite literally. You'd have to be dead inside not to be... I'll say moved.

I’ve had to cut out the blurb because I’ve run out of space (Google it if you must) but I will say that I'm astonished Oliver Mellors isn't a household name alongside Mr Darcy, McDreamy, and McSteamy. I am officially launching a campaign to make Mellors a literary heartthrob for the ages.

Now, please excuse me while I go light a cigarette and stare into the void this book left in me when I got to the last page.

Unfortunately, I will never again read this book for the first time (although I read and re-read it every chance I get). You, however, are in for the ride time of your life.

About Kat Kat de Naoum (BA (Hons) Eng Lit & Phil, MA Creative Writing) is a writer/author, editor, mother, and avid reader. Since starting out as a staff writer at a local London paper in 1999, Kat has written for many print and online publications. When not writing or parenting, her head’s in a book (or plugged into an audiobook). katdenaoum.com

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CITY CENTRE UPDATES FROM YOUR BUSINESS IMPROVEMENT DISTRICT, CHELMSFORD FOR YOU

@chelmsfordforyou

www.chelmsfordforyou.co.uk

It’s hard to believe we’re already halfway through the year, and June certainly kept us busy at Chelmsford For You! One of the highlights of the month was celebrating the fantastic businesses that make our city centre such a vibrant place. We were delighted to host the Chelmsford BID Business Awards 2026, recognising the hard work, innovation and dedication shown by businesses across the city.

Congratulations to all of our winners and finalists. The standard was incredibly high, and it was wonderful to see so many businesses being recognised for the contribution they make to Chelmsford every day.

YOUR 2026 WINNERS...

FORD BID CHELMS

BUSINESS AWARDS 2026

Best New Business – Smoke & Dough Customer Service – Artists at The Meadows Corporate Social Responsibility– Artists at The Meadows Small/Indie Retailer – Number Six Large Retailer – Bravissimo Small/Indie Restaurant/Cafe – Fete Large Restaurant/Cafe – Giggling Squid Leisure Facility of The Year – Riverside Leisure Centre

A special shout out goes to the winners of our new category ‘Employee of The Year’ with Helen from The Wine Cellar, and Bradley from The Home Partnership both scooping the prize!

Personal Care & Beauty – Glow Tanning & Beauty Professional Services – James Bryan Opticians Best Takeaway/Fast Food Business - Kaani Kaana

The team has also been out and about representing Chelmsford on the national stage. Ryan and I attended a place conference in Norwich, where representatives from towns and cities across the country came together to share ideas, challenges and success stories. The conference covered a wide range of topics, from the future of our city centres to creating thriving places that people want to visit, work and invest in. It was really inspiring we came back with lots of new ideas that could benefit Chelmsford.

Get in touch with me either on: Instagram @_saratupper_ or email sara@chelmsfordforyou.co.uk Page 8

Best Bar/Venue - Hotbox Live

Personally, I was honoured to be elected as one of the England representatives on the National BIDs Steering Committee. This committee helps shape the future direction of BIDs across the country, and I’m incredibly proud to be able to represent Chelmsford at a national level. It provides an excellent opportunity to ensure our city's voice is heard, to share the great work happening here, and to learn from other successful cities around the UK.

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It was unquestionably a mass produced object, yet it demonstrated that large scale manufacturing and thoughtful design did not have to be opposing forces. Durability, ergonomics, repairability, and performance could coexist with industrial production.

In many ways, it represented a bridge between two worlds.

Design

Inspiration for the Population

A Diff ffe erent Kind of Design | Over time, however, manufacturers began to recognise that efficiency alone was not enough. Furniture still needed to respond to people. Products such as the Aeron task chair represented an important moment in that evolution.

When Furniture Left the Workshop | From Craft to Industry and Back Again ...by the early twentieth century, furniture production A Diff ffe erent Beginning | There was a time when every piece of furniture was shifting from workshop craft to industrial scale. began with a conversation. A table was not selected from a catalogue.

A chair was not specified from a website. Furniture was commissioned, Where We Are Today | The most interesting aspect of this story is that it discussed, and made by hand for a particular place and purpose. The maker may not be finished. often knew the client, dimensions could be adjusted, and details reflected Digital manufacturing, configurable systems, and advances in production individual needs rather than the demands of production. technology are beginning to blur the distinction between workshop and factory once again. Furniture can now be manufactured at scale while still responding to individual requirements. What was once handcrafted and unique became industrial and universal. Now it is becoming something in between.

Lessons for the Present | At WDL, these questions surface more often than people might imagine. When clients select furniture today, they are rarely choosing between craft and industry. They are deciding how their workplace will perform over time. The most successful decisions tend to acknowledge both sides of the story.

The efficiencies of modern production are valuable. So too are the principles that defined the workshop, durability, adaptability, repairability, and a belief that furniture should remain useful long after installation.

The methods have changed dramatically. The underlying question has not.

What Matt tte ers Most | Looking back, the history of furniture is not really a story about workshops or factories. ...for or centuries, furniture emerged from workshops, shaped by skilled It is a story about people and how tools changed and processes evolved. craftsmen in small workshops with evidence of the hands that made it. Production moved from the hands of craftsmen to global manufacturing, yet the purpose of furniture has remained remarkably consistent.

The Workshop Gives Way | As industry expanded during the eighteenth It exists to support the activities that surround it and perhaps that is the and nineteenth centuries, new technologies began to change the way lesson worth carrying forward. Not how many pieces can be made or how goods were produced. Machines introduced consistency. Processes became repeatable. Components could be manufactured in quantity rather quickly they can be produced. But who they are ultimately being made for. than individually shaped. Furniture was no exception.

What had once been produced one piece at a time could now be made in larger numbers. The workshop gradually gave way to the factory, and furniture began its journey from craft object to industrial product.

This shift is often viewed with nostalgia, as though something valuable was lost. In some respects, it was, but the story is more balanced than that.

What We Gained, and What We Lost | Mass production transformed furniture in remarkable ways.

For the first time, well designed furniture became accessible to far larger numbers of people. Quality was no longer reserved for wealthy households or prestigious institutions. Costs reduced, availability increased, and design could be shared at a scale previous generations could never have imagined.

Yet every gain brought a corresponding loss.

As furniture became more industrialised, the relationship between maker and user began to change. Objects that had once been commissioned became products that were purchased. Repair gradually gave way to replacement. Longevity often became secondary to efficiency.

Furniture became easier to acquire, but in many cases easier to discard.

The Rise of the Offi fficce | Perhaps nowhere was this transition more visible than the workplace. The growth of clerical work, organisations, and large office buildings demanded furniture that could be specified, delivered, and installed at scale. Desks became standardised. Storage systems became modular. Task seating became a category in its own right .

The emphasis shifted from individuality to consistency and the modern office became a system, and furniture became part of that system.

Page 10

...the modern workplace as a product of design and process Thanks for reading | Design Dude | Inspiration for the Population | Email: DesignDude.20@gmail.com

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the early 2000’s there had been thirty-five divorce cases where the game ‘Championship Manager’ (also known as Football Manager in the more recent years’ instalments) had been cited as the main reason for said divorces.

Up and down the land, men and boys could be heard saying, “just one more match” or “ten more minutes, love, and I’ll come to bed”, only to still be up with the sunrise and heading into school or work with bags under their eyes bigger than if they’d been doing a shopping spree on Dale Winton’s Supermarket Sweep.

Championship Manager

In the early 90’s, a game came out that changed many young men’s lives, and as it turns out, also ruined quite a few as they got older (by older, I mean reached adulthood).

It was a game so addictive that in

This game is so good that it still has a cult following to this day, mainly down to what is perceived as its greatest instalment and version that came out in 2001/02. I found this out when, a few years back, I managed to buy an Xbox original console that had been upgraded and had over 15,000 games pre-installed, but also still allowed me to play original Xbox discs. One of these was, lo and behold, Champ Man 01/02 that I had forgotten I’d kept. Anyway, long story short, it was becoming a pain to get the console

out and pack it away again, so I had a little Google to see if there was a way I could play this on my MacBook instead, meaning I could also take it away on trips, etc. Within seconds of typing in ‘Champ Man 01/02 how to download’, at the top of the search list was a website dedicated to said game.

When I clicked on it, there was an abundance of fans of the game retelling stories about playing it and offering ways to help download it for free with updates (patches) of current seasons and squads, but still in the 01/02 visual, gameplay and format.

More recently, someone has even added VAR to keep it modern if you want it (no thanks!).

When I first checked out the site those few years back, the download was only available for PC laptops which was disheartening, but with the World Cup just around the corner (hopefully England are still in it by the time you read this) and West Ham getting relegated, it made me fancy revisiting it to see if I could, by some miracle play it on my portable and more accessible machine. Well, thanks to some clever clog, there is now a way

to play on my Mac and show the West Ham board what they are missing.

Have I found myself just like in the old days, still thinking about it a few hours later after I’ve shut it down for an evening, wondering if I could have done better on the last result and prevented the loss? Or, who the hell am I now going to sign to replace my one and only striker who’s out for 6 months with an injury, and how on a budget of only four million?

The answer to both of those is YES. Am I now going to be one of many who get dragged back in where fantasy and reality are blurred, and it starts to affect my everyday life? NO. Well, at least I don’t think I’ll become that bad. I know for sure I won’t be dressing up in a suit, shirt and tie and holding a pretend press conference before a big cup final like a certain Champ Man addict did in one of many true stories from the book “How Football Manager ruined my life”, even though that could change if I actually get to a final.

Till next time The Polak xx

what the future for restaurants holds. I’m more at peace with the fact that we work hard, we care a lot, and we can’t control the elements of this industry that make our daily lives difficult (sometimes more difficult that it should have to be).

Margins for Britain’s hospitality businesses are scuppered right now: rising taxes and rates, minimum wage increases year after year, fuel cost increases causing suppliers to raise costs too, the highest VAT rate in Europe (for our sector at least) - the list goes on, and yes, the very real reality is that right now the squeeze is squeezing more than it’s ever squeezed before.

Because of this, are restaurant owners and their employees now valuing their time over sales because the sales aren’t cutting it and why waste a life ploughing through as hard as you can to only end up with a tiny bit more than you started with, hitting the break-even or unfortunately more commonly now, less than you had before you started…?

If you want to know more about the dire climate of the restaurant industry, you only have to glance at the newspapers and more often than not, there is news about small businesses on the brink waving their flags of dismay. A little teeny weeny bit of help or let-up on the day-to-day fixed overheads would turn these small businesses’ lives Page 14

around. Organisations, like Hospitality Action, and chefs like Tom Kerridge are tirelessly campaigning to be heard about the current restaurant climate, but whilst this doom and gloom is very much overshadowing the daily lives of many many people who pour their hearts and souls into what they do, something quite wonderful is quietly emerging from the mess…

Business owners are starting to reevaluate. I don’t mean they’re giving up (we’re a hard lot, us restaurant people), but in a world where social media has accelerated the pace of our lives, anxiety and mental health issues are raging, and many of us struggle with switching off (including myself and Tobias), the constant battle behind only-justmaking-ends-meet is being met with a feeling that time is precious. Maybe more precious than it’s ever been considered before. At Fête, we have taken the decision to close for three days over Christmas, close early on Christmas Eve, changed opening from 3 evenings a week to only 2 evenings a week - why? Because we don’t want our business to become some evil monster that drives us into burnout for no considerable financial gain.

The cost of just opening the doors every day is so huge that if the trade isn’t more or less guaranteed, then it’s not worth the risk of having a ‘quiet’ night. This is why you’ll find that you can’t visit your favourite local pub on a Monday lunchtime or why some places might close for a rest day every once in a while. Cafes are opening at 10 am instead of 8 am, on the one hand attempting to cut the hours of labour and condense the time the money is made, but also because what’s the fun in working you and your team into the ground for sales that aren’t guaranteed?

When I first worked as a waitress most, if not all, restaurants I was aware of operated 7 days a week.

It was easier to be open because even a quiet night with one waiter, a manager, two chefs and a pot wash still meant it was worth it. Now, it’s not.

I used to feel guilty when we first closed on a Thursday evening at Fête, or we changed the weekend opening hours because it was Easter Sunday (a day that had just never been very busy for Fête). As time passes, I feel less guilty, but no less worried about

I always vow to write about upbeat, positive topics here and don’t get me wrong, I don’t like writing about the gloomy reality of the restaurant industry; however, it’s currently hard to ignore. But if there is a sliver of positivity that we can take from this turbulent and challenging climate, it’s that maybe this uncertainty is forcing people to take a step back and ask themselves if ploughing on full speed ahead, with 100-hour working weeks for years on end under their belt, is really the way they want to live out their days. Is this the pivotal point that means people stop, breathe and take a hard look at themselves and their businesses? We love Fête, our team, our passion for food and each other, and it’s important to remember that if we can keep afloat without working ourselves to death in the process, then that’s winning to us.

There undoubtedly needs to be a shift from government, and I hope that shift isn’t too far away, but until then, we will work hard and play/rest hard in very equal measures, and that’s okay, making our business work for us as much as we can.

Best wishes, Laura Fête Grays Yard Over the Edge 07803 422808

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Essex Food Review FÊTE Grays Grays Yard, Yard, Chelmsford Chelmsford

One thing I always love to see in the One alwaysislove to see in the Essexthing foodI scene an independent Essex food scene is an independent business that has been built from the business that been built from the ground up by has passionate owners.

In a ground up by passionate owners.

In a world increasingly dominated by chains world increasingly dominated by chains and large restaurant groups, there is and large restaurant groups, there is something special about visiting a venue something special about visiting a venue where the founders are still very much at where theof founders are still veryinmuch at the heart the business.

Fête the heart of is the business. in in Chelmsford exactly that.Fête Situated Chelmsford is exactly that. Situated Grays Yard, Fête has become one ofinthe Grays Yard,popular Fête hasindependent become oneeateries, of the city's most city's most popular independent eateries, and for good reason. Founded by chef and forGodfrey good reason.

Founded chefDay, Tobias and his partner by Laura Tobias Godfrey and life his partner the business began in 2019 Laura as a Day, the business began in continually 2019 as a coffee van and they life have coffee van and they have continually developed into the restaurant it is today. developed into the restaurant it is today.

Two besties dishing up Two besties on dishing up the details Essex’s the details on Essex’s best restaurants cafes, best restaurants cafes, pubs and pop-ups. pubs and pop-ups.

Some brunch menu highlights include Turkish Some brunch menu highlights include Turkish Eggs, Fried Chicken Kimchi Waffles, Duck Eggs, Fried Chicken Kimchi Waffles, Duck Leg Hash, the Full Fete and a range of buns Leg the FullThey Feteput andtheir a range of buns and Hash, sandwiches. unique twist and sandwiches.

Theydishes put their twist on lots of well-loved and unique make every on of well-loved dishes make every dishlots a memorable one.

I canand remember most dish a memorable one. Ithere can remember most of the dishes I’ve eaten over the years of the dishes I’ve eaten there over the years and that really says something! The evening and that really says something!

The evening dishes have a slightly more sophisticated feel dishes haveChop a slightly more Tuna sophisticated with Lamb Milanese, Tacos, feel with Lamb Chop Milanese, Tuna Tacos, Octopus and Confit Leeks to name a few!

Octopus and Confit Leeks to name They also have a great drinks menu;a few!

They also have a great menu; smoothies, shakes and drinks the best chai latte. smoothies, shakes and the best chai latte.

Fête offers something a little different to the Fête offers something afood littlescene. different the rest of the Chelmsford Thetomenu rest of the Chelmsford food scene. Thewhich menu is constantly evolving and developing, is constantly developing, which means every evolving visit feelsand fresh and exciting.

It is means every visit feels and exciting.

It is clear that creativity is atfresh the heart of clear that creativity is at the heart of everything they do. Each time I visit, I like to everything theyand do.itEach I visit, I me like to to try a new dish only time encourages try a new dish and it onlythe encourages me to come again and explore menu further. come concept again and explore the menu Their centres around smallfurther. plates, Their concept centres small plates, with the daytime menuaround offering interesting with the daytime menu offering interesting breakfast, brunch and lunch dishes - although breakfast, brunch lunch dishes in - although called ‘small pates’and they are ample size and called ‘small pates’ are ample size and perfectly paired withthey a small side if in necessary. perfectly with a small side iffrom necessary.

On Fridaypaired and Saturday evenings, On Friday Saturday evenings, frommenu, 5.30pm to and 9pm, they serve a separate 5.30pm to 9pm, they serve a separate menu, and often host events- one being Sunday and often eventsbeing Sunday yoga with host brunch whichone sounds like heaven! yoga with brunch which sounds like heaven!

Page 16

Best friends Hannah and Issy, both born and raised in and Chelmsford Best friends Hannah Issy, both decided to turn their love for food born and raised in Chelmsford and eating out into Instagram decided to turn theiran love for food page dedicated to reviewing and and eating out into an Instagram recommending eateries across page dedicated to reviewing and Essex, alongside helping food recommending eaterieslocal across businesses and helping events with Essex, alongside localtheir food marketingand andevents socialwith media. businesses their Getand in touch: marketing social media.

Get in touch: @essexfoodreview

@essexfoodreview essexfoodreview@gmail.com essexfoodreview@gmail.com

Perhaps the most impressive thing is that every Perhaps thethe most impressive thing is that time I visit, restaurant is bustling.

In anevery time I visit, the restaurant is bustling.

In an industry that many of us know is facing industry that many of us know is facing significant challenges, it is so encouraging to significant challenges, it is so to see an independent venue soencouraging busy. Businesses see this an independent venue so busy. like only continue to thrive if weBusinesses keep like this only continuethem, to thrive we keep choosing to support and ifFête is exactly choosing support them, and Fête is that exactly the kind oftoindependent success story the kind of deserves it.independent success story that deserves it.

Essex Essex Food Foodxx Review Review

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Award winning care homes

Manor Lodge care home, Chelmsford

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To attend please call 01245 904876 or email karla.smith2@careuk.com Trusted to care Page 20

Over the Edge 07803 422808

Advertising Feature

“I feel reassured and supported every day. I only have to ask if I want anything.”

Angela, care home resident

At Care UK’s Manor Lodge in Chelmsford, every resident is supported to live their life the way they choose. Our experienced team takes pride in offering quality residential, nursing, dementia and respite care. the home’s activities team. When living on her own, Angela travelled to exercise classes, but after she stopped driving she could no longer attend. Now, she enjoys being active again. “I take full advantage of all of those,” she says.

Angela, a Care UK care home resident, shares how the support and reassurance of the team has improved her confidence – and her health.

‘I feel very reassured’ Moving into a care home is a big change.

That’s why our teams take extra care to help residents settle in quickly and effortlessly. Angela says the consistent support not only made her feel safe, but also comfortable and confident in her new home. “I only have to ask if I want anything,” Angela says, particularly from the maintenance team. “They repaired my broken pen in just a moment’s notice. They’ve hung up my many pictures and helped me to plant bulbs and plants in the patio garden. I feel very reassured and supported in my daily life.”

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Trust us to care We provide support and reassurance around the clock to make every part of your loved one’s stay with us safe and comfortable. very secure feeling to know somebody’s checking on you so frequently.”

‘My health has improved’ Not only has the team’s care helped Angela to live a more comfortable life, it has also supported her health. “My health has improved a lot,” she says. “I feel calmer and happier than at home where I lived alone. In fact, the district nurse took my blood pressure the other day and it was normal for the first time for years because I’m relaxed.”

Care UK is a leading independent care home provider with some of the highest quality ratings of the UK’s larger care providers, and over 40 years’ experience of delivering high-quality care to older people.

For more information about Manor Lodge in Chelmsford, call 01245 904876 or visit careuk.com/manor-lodge

Angela’s physical health is also supported by exercise sessions run by Page 21

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Samantha is a local nurse and is passionate about the work that charities perform locally and nationally.

Samantha will promote charities on this page free of charge and is particularly interested to hear about smaller local charities. If you wish to share your story or promote a local or national charity dear to you, we’d love to hear from you at:

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Exhilarating! Inspiring! Supportive! and Fun! When asked, these are just a few of the words members used to describe Tickers Cardiac Support Group, which this year celebrates its 25th anniversary.

Meeting at the Writtle Sports and Social Club Hall in Paradise Road, Writtle, Tickers is a self-help organisation providing physical exercise classes designed to maintain cardiac health and build strength to people recovering from heart attacks or suffering from cardiac problems generally.

The group offers four one-hour classes every week, all of which are led by qualified and accredited trainers. Monday classes take place at 10.45 and again at 12.00 when members take part in closely supervised circuit activity using equipment such as exercise bikes and rowing machines. On Wednesday evening at 6.30 and Thursday at midday, exercise routines are led by the group’s permanent trainer, Joseph Johnson. Each session is accompanied by music guaranteed to please all!

Recovering patients are encouraged to bring a family member or friend along to the classes, and also to take part in the various social activities Tickers offers in the course of the year - from monthly Sunday morning walks between April and November (followed by a pub lunch) to Tickers’ Quiz Night (with supper) celebrating the group’s birthday in February.

Other events, such as bowling or visits to places of interest are organised throughout the year.

Classes are £4.00 per session payable in cash at the door.

There is no up-front commitment and members can attend whenever and as often as they wish.

If you are recovering from a heart attack or heart surgery, or if you feel that regular cardiovascular exercise would play a positive role in maintaining your fitness, visit our website at www. tickersrehab.co.uk or contact Brian Johnson on 01245 420128.

memor

Page 22 22 Page

Over Over the the Edge Edge 07803 07803 422808 422808

are we now facing a backward step? The office community have always been quite precious about who they sit with and it seems that more and more companies are bringing back offices, which I do not agree with – this is a movement away from collaboration in the workplace.

Good day everyone and thanks for reading my column this month.

Firstly, I would like to say congrats to Deaks for all of the great work over the last 3 months, pulling together some amazing features. This month’s interview with the legendary Joe Cole on page 26 is amazing. What a sublime piece of fortune, to be able to interview such a star of WHUFC.

The office environment is a simple one but complicated by so many people having a different view, which is good, but as a Designer, it can be frustrating.

Of course, nobody wants to be told what to do or to be dictated to, but imagine if we had spaces which were so disjointed that an eclectic felt dizzy!

Office environments are certainly becoming more ‘homely’ and comfortable. The placement of Boxed-In elegant leather sofas, comfy armchairs I suppose all of my columns to date and footstools etc help this along. are focussed on the new norm since However, the introduction of PODs, the pandemic. More and more people if used as they should, and NOT are working from home with ‘Agile’ as makeshift individual offices will and ‘Hybrid’ solutions popping up certainly work and adds further everywhere. interest. If the whole community could see these as another space Interestingly, over the last 5 years, to enjoy when they want to ‘focus’ or furniture manufacturers have really Call 01245 478111 07710 358347 take some time to work remotely it pushed the concept of smaller VisitPODs lkgdaughers.co.uk would be great. Last month, I spoke individual onto the design about having our place of work for industry for placement into commercial everyone, not7SY just the chosen few and space.

On the flip-side, Designers, West Hanningfield Road,as Great Baddow, Chelmsford, Essex, CM2 the introduction of PODs means that we have spent 20 years working towards a more collaborative ‘Open anyone could have their ‘15 minutes’.

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are downright ugly. What are the criteria for having the right POD? For those of you that are not familiar, I have shown an image of something which we are installing into our projects currently.

Many designers in the industry will take Style over Substance, but there is a balance, each requiring compromise.

offices and were being allocated a desk in the open plan with their teams.

One of my rebellious customers showed great creativity to build his own pre-millennium POD using cardboard.

So, on the Monday morning after the move into the new facility, there he was with 2m high cardboard walls surrounding his desk, he had even constructed a cardboard roof with a sliding cardboard door which he taped shut! I think if we had smartphones back then, it would have gone viral – it FUSEBOARD CHANGES OR UPGRADES was amazing!

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23 Over the Edge 07803Page 422808

THE OVERtheEDGE Big Interview Susie Cornell, President of The Pride of Essex Awards

Square721 Cn BT 143pt

Susie Cornell was born in Birmingham but has lived in Essex since 1974, when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). Before moving to the county, Susie had been living in the fast lane as a radio DJ in Majorca.

Susie was the first British adult to go to the worldfamous Peto Institute in Hungary and brought back the first exercise programme to help those with MS. She trained at Derby General Hospital in 1994 in Clinical Ecology, and then as a therapist and lecturer in reflexology, aromatherapy, nutrition, and sports injury.

Susie was awarded the MBE for her work and later appointed a Deputy Lieutenant of Essex.

Tell us about the history of the Pride of Essex Awards?

The Awards were launched in 1994 as the Essex Achievement Awards as ‘special awards to recognise special people’. Over the last 30 years, we’ve recognised and celebrated hundreds of special people – those who make a real difference to other people’s lives. This year’s awards are now open for nominations. (See how to nominate below).

In 1994, I presented prizes to children at an East London school. One girl asked if there was a prize for her mummy, who also had MS. I knew a reporter at the Essex Chronicle, and together we approached the Editor and secured the newspaper’s support for the Awards.

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Others were the Countess of Wessex, Terry Waite, who was held as a hostage for five years in Beirut and rock musician keyboard player and composer Rick Wakeman.

We try to make the ceremony really special for the nominees, so as well as the celebrities LordLieutenants of Essex also attend in their uniforms.

Who funds these Awards and the presentation evening?

There are some very supportive companies. Most have been sponsoring the Awards for many years.

They’re listed on the Awards website.

In the 1990s, car giant Ford backed the awards and extended them nationally to cities including Exeter, Aberdeen, Hull, Leicester and Canterbury, where the Awards were staged using our format.

Who are the ‘special people’ who receive awards?

There’ve been so many who’ve made us all feel very humble. It’s all about celebrating what these people and groups do and what they achieve. The stories of the youngsters are often very emotional.

In 2014 Jessica Taylor was Child of Courage. Jessica has Cerebral Palsy, Chronic Lung Disease and Secondary Pulmonary Hypertension, and needed oxygen 24/7.

She took her first steps at six and soon after had a trunk adapted to carry her oxygen so she could move around school independently. In 2013, aged 8, she completed a 1-mile sponsored walk, which took two and a half hours and raised money for the 100,000 Smiles Appeal.

Then there was Ellie Challis, the Inspirational Youth awardee in 2018. Ellie, from Clacton, is a quadruple amputee, having contracted bacterial meningitis as a baby. She’s now a World Champion Paralympic swimmer and won a silver medal in the Tokyo Paralympics and a gold medal at the 2024 Paris Paralympic Games. An exceptional young athlete who has overcome incredible challenges to excel in sports and academics.

Jane Smith, the Unsung Hero in 2023, dedicated over 30 years to improving the lives of people struggling with deafness, hearing loss, tinnitus, and other hearing-related challenges. She did this as a volunteer and in a professional capacity, working for local charities and hospitals. After retiring from the NHS in 2019, she volunteered to help at the Hearing Help Essex charity as a Trustee.

You’ve met and know quite a few celebs, but which have been at the awards presentations?

Jimmy Greaves, a national football legend, was the first celebrity to present the awards. I’d also been friends with Anthea Turner, the TV presenter, and she’s presented the awards on a few occasions.

There are so many more adults, young people, children and groups who do so much to help others in Essex. The awards recognise and celebrate their work, which really does glue our communities together. Without them, Essex would be so much poorer in many, many ways.

Back to you Susie. What happened after your return from the Peto Institute in 1988?

While I was there, TVam were filming children having

treatment for cerebral palsy. By chance, they were told about a woman from the UK who was having treatment for multiple sclerosis.

So, they filmed me and invited me to appear on TVam. I told my story about the exercise treatment I received. Then the phone started ringing with people asking for the exercises - and it didn’t stop. I typed notes about the exercises initially, then had to make a video, which is still being used.

About 100,000 people in the UK have MS - there’s no cure - so they wanted the exercise programme.

During all the media interest, I was told about a technique using a unique pressure machine that worked alongside the Peto exercises so my husband, Ian, designed and built me the pressure machine.

Before I knew it, everyone wanted my knowledge.

In 1993, Ian and I opened a health and fitness club called Under Pressure (seeing as a pressure machine was partly responsible for the club’s birth). The club was designed for disabled people to work alongside able-bodied people. In 1995/6, Under Pressure was voted the best small club in the UK, and I received an award for outstanding contribution to the fitness industry.

My book ‘The Complete MS Body Manual’ was published and following that, in 2004, I was made a Deputy Lieutenant of Essex. Then, in 2007, came a national honour, an MBE. The Pride of Essex Awards have now become a big part of our lives and they really do help to recognise great people and groups in Essex.

The awards recognise unsung heroes who make a difference in their communities, whether through acts of kindness, exceptional bravery, or dedication to charitable causes.

Over the years, it has become a significant occasion, drawing attention to stories of resilience, generosity, and humanity that often go unnoticed in everyday life.

The awards feature these categories:

• • • • • • •

Star of Essex Award Child of Courage Award Team of Pride Award Community Champion Award Unsung Hero Award Inspirational Youth Award Judges’ Choice Award

You probably know someone or an organisation that deserves to be nominated to be recognised.

• Nominate them now • Go to Pride of Essex Awards https://poeawards.org/index.php • Do it for Essex now!

Page 24

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A man takes down his dogthe to street the circus I was walking withand mytells wifethe the other ringmaster thatmy his mother-in-law dog can speak English and that he day, and we saw should be inup thebycircus.

The My ringmaster says, “That’s being beaten six men. wife shouts, “Aren’t rubbish. Prove it.” you going to help?” and I reply, “Nah, six should be The man says, “Ok, I will’ and he asks his dog three enough!” questions:

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She smirked and said, and vegetables If you are attracted to “Salad both women and men,taste but nice.” neither of them are attracted to you, that means you are bi-yourself.

My son told me there is a small get-together at his I told my wife the IAmazon driver have and slepthe school tomorrow. asked him howclaims smallto it was, with every woman replied, “Just you, me and the head teacher.” in our street except one! My wife said, “It’s What type of tree fits in your hand? probably that stuck-up A palm tree. bitch at No.14.”

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A man wasreplies, looking“Roof” for someone to paint his porch, The dog so he hired a chap off the internet. After about 30 minutes, the painter came to the door and said, “I’m done.”

The man asked, “How did you get it done so fast?”

Chap replies, “It was easy once I got into the swing it, and bythen the “Goodofboy!” and he asks, way, it’s a Ferrari not a “What is the opposite Porsche.” of smooth?”

Dog replies, “Rough” Two men are playing “That’s my boy!” the golf. guy says and pats him One’s on theabout head.to take a swing a funeral “Who when was the best Scotland goalkeeper procession passes by.of all time?”

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Next time you ride on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and just as it starts to move, tap the person in front of you and say, “These just fell out of your seat.”

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Uranus rightshe now,” and I said, I said, “Whoa, I only asked.”

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Dear God You gave me a childhood...

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Youyour don’t need ahas parachute skydiving. You need I said, “I know,ifbut that, he has aagain. lovely a parachute youother wantthan to go skydiving personality and he’s great with the kids” Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test My local coffee shop has a sign that reads, “No back?”

Wi-Fi, just pretend it’s 1973.”

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So, I paid my coffee and lit up a cigarette.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing except at a funeral.

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The World Cup Has Arrived…

Apparently The World Cup is finally underway, hosted jointly by the United States, Mexico and Canada. Yet, if I’m honest, World Cup fever hasn’t quite reached these shores just yet.

Ordinarily, by this point I’d have watched half a dozen games involving countries I’d struggle to locate on a map. I’d be fully invested in the fortunes of the likes of Curaçao or Qatar simply because they happened to be playing at a sensible hour while I was eating my dinner. This time around, though, the kick-off times are doing the tournament no favours. Most matches seem to be taking place late at night or in the early hours of the morning. Much as I love football, I’m not sure I love it enough to stay up late to watch Uzbekistan take on DR Congo in the group stages.

Hopefully, that will all change once England have kicked off their first game. Nothing gets the nation going quite like a major tournament. Suddenly, strangers become tactical experts, office sweepstakes appear out of nowhere, and people start saying things like, “This could finally be our year,” despite decades of evidence to the contrary.

One addition to this tournament that I’m not particularly fond of is the introduction of drinks breaks. Now, don’t get me wrong, in sweltering temperatures the players absolutely deserve a chance to rehydrate.

But part of me wonders whether this is football slowly becoming Americanised. The breaks seem perfectly timed, broadcasters reportedly head straight to adverts, and managers suddenly have another opportunity to change tactics and influence the game. Before long, we’ll have four quarters, time-outs and a half-time show sponsored by a fast-food chain.

As for England, I remain cautiously optimistic. Scotland deserve a mention

too. Their supporters have brought brilliant atmosphere to their first World Cup appearance in years. I genuinely hope they do well. Just not better than England.

By the time you read this, the England players will likely be back on UK soil after another penalty shoot-out defeat.

Enthusiasm will no doubt return in time, but it’s football—and England have a habit of bringing you back down to earth with a bump.

Whatever Happened to a Friday Night Out? As a man in his forties, organising a night out with your mates requires the sort of planning normally associated with a military operation. Between family commitments, work diaries and people mysteriously becoming “double booked”, simply finding a date everyone can agree on feels like a victory in itself. Thankfully, recently we managed it.

We started with a few after-work beers in The Plough. It was happy hour and, at £4.50 a pint, practically a bargain by today’s standards. The sun was shining, the beer garden was packed, and for a while, it felt like the old days.

Next stop was The Golden Fleece. There was a live band playing, which was great to see. In an age of Spotify playlists and people staring at phones, it’s nice that venues still put on live entertainment and give local musicians a chance. We rounded the evening off at Turquoise Kitchen for a Turkish meal, which I’d highly recommend.

The food was tasty, well presented and reasonably priced. If you’re looking for somewhere different to try in Chelmsford, it’s well worth a visit.

What struck all of us, though, was just how quiet Chelmsford was. For a Friday night, the city centre was practically a ghost town. Back in our younger days, every pub

would be packed, the High Street would be buzzing, and there’d be people everywhere.

It wasn’t unusual to queue three deep at the bar before eventually staggering home with a kebab in hand and very little dignity intact.

Maybe younger generations socialise differently. Maybe the cost of living means people simply can’t afford nights out anymore. Or perhaps we’ve all just become more comfortable on the sofa. It’s probably a bit of all three.

Either way, whilst the nights may finish earlier these days, I’m grateful we still make the effort. The friendships, laughter and memories are worth far more than the hangovers ever were. Even if these days our idea of going wild is three pubs, a Turkish and being home before the ten o’clock news.

Parenting in the Digital Age

I’ve seen the recent news that the Government is considering restrictions on social media use for under-16s. On the face of it, it’s hard to argue with the intention.

As parents, most of us want our children protected from the darker corners of the internet.

Social media can be a wonderful thing. It helps people stay connected, learn new skills and find communities of like-minded people. But it can also expose young minds to bullying, unrealistic expectations and content that no child should be seeing.

So, the idea of doing something to help protect children sounds sensible enough.

What gives me pause, however, is how something like this would actually work in practice. The details haven’t yet emerged, but any meaningful age restrictions would presumably require some form of age verification. And that’s where things become a little more complicated.

BILLY HINKEN As a parent, I find myself torn. On the one hand, I absolutely want my children to be safe online. On the other, I also believe that parents have a responsibility to guide their children through these decisions themselves. Every child is different.

Some 15-year-olds are mature enough to navigate social media sensibly, while some adults probably aren’t.

Then there’s the broader question of privacy and personal freedoms. Most of us are perfectly happy to prove our age when buying age-restricted products in the real world. But people understandably become more cautious when discussions turn to how our digital lives are monitored and managed.

I don’t pretend to have the answer.

Perhaps that’s the point. In an increasingly connected world, protecting children and preserving personal freedoms aren’t opposing ideas; they’re both important.

The challenge is finding the balance between them. As with most things involving parenting, technology and government, it’s easier said than done.

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Page 27

OVERtheLINE LOCAL SPORT UPDATES

ESSEX CRICKET

Charlie Allison Called Up to England Lions Essex Men’s batter Charlie Allison was selected for the England Lions four-day series against South Africa A. Allison made his England Lions debut in this series following a good start to the season with Essex when, at the time, he’d scored nearly 300 runs in nine innings at an average of 35.25.

Grace Scrivens Extends Essex Contract Essex Women’s Captain Grace Scrivens signed a new deal with the Club which will keep her at Essex until the end of the 2028 season.

On signing her new deal, Scrivens said: “I am delighted to sign another contract with Essex. I think the direction the group is heading in is seriously exciting, and I can’t wait to continue and see what we can achieve together. I have also loved working closely with Paz [Stephen Parry] and Browney [Nick Browne] since they joined ahead of this season. I feel they have and will continue to be really influential and important in the development of my game.”

Essex Academy Trio Fielded for England Test Match Three members of the Essex Men’s Academy were selected for 12th-

Page 28

man duties with England during the men’s Test match against New Zealand at Lord’s. Areeb Rashid, Daniel Gladwell and Jack Auld were all called up to support the England squad during the Test match against the Kiwis between June 04 and June 08.

and I am grateful for the faith the Club has shown in me. I am excited to continue my journey here, keep contributing to the team’s ambitions, and help bring more memorable moments to Chelmsford and the Club in the years ahead.”

House of Commons Anniversary Event

Following his contract announcement, Cox made his England Test debut against New Zealand at the Kia Oval. The longawaited opportunity came after injury setbacks previously denied Cox a Test debut.

At the beginning of June, Essex Cricket hosted a special event at the House of Commons as part of the 150th Anniversary celebrations.

Sponsors, MPs, past and present players, coaches, staff, partners, and other members of the Essex community joined to celebrate the significant milestone in the history of Essex County Cricket Club.

The event provided a wonderful opportunity for guests to come together, celebrate the Club’s achievements over the past 150 years, and look ahead to the next chapter in Essex Cricket’s history.

Jordan Cox Makes England Debut and Extends Essex Contract Essex Men’s wicket-keeper batter Jordan Cox signed a two-year contract extension with the Club, keeping him at Chelmsford until the end of the 2028 season.

On signing his new deal, Cox said, “I am really happy to extend my contract here with Essex. We have built a strong group both on and off the field, and I believe we are building towards success for ourselves and our fans.”

“The support from our Members and supporters has been fantastic,

CHELMSFORD CITY FC The summer period has been a busy and exciting one for Chelmsford City as preparations continue for the 2026/27 season.

As is always the case during the off-season, there have been several changes within the squad, with players departing, key players committing their futures to the club, and several new faces arriving at the Dunmow Group Community Stadium.

The club’s recruitment this summer has sent a clear message about its ambitions for the season ahead.

Retaining the services of influential players such as Lyle Taylor and Harry Barbrook has been a major boost, ensuring that the squad keeps hold of quality, experience and leadership.

Alongside these important renewals, Chelmsford City has also strengthened with the addition of several experienced players who know what it takes to compete at the highest level. Supporters will be excited to see the arrivals of Cav Miley, Nathan Ralph and the returning Jack Bridge, all of whom bring

proven quality and experience to the squad. They join a number of other new additions who have been recruited with one goal in mind – helping the Clarets challenge at the top end of the table and push towards promotion.

As we move into July, attention now turns to pre-season, giving supporters their first opportunity to see the squad in action. Chelmsford City will play six pre-season fixtures, with three matches at home and three away. The home fixtures see the Clarets welcome Ipswich Town Under-21s on July 18th, Witham Town on July 25th and Spalding United on August 1st. Away from home, Chelmsford will travel to Bishop’s Stortford on July 11th, Canvey Island on July 14th and Dartford on July 28th.

There is a real sense of excitement building around Chelmsford City ahead of the new season, and now is the perfect time to secure your Season Card. Season Card holders benefit from a range of exclusive perks, including priority access to cup matches and special club events, as well as a fantastic 15% discount on Nuffield Health gym memberships.

Don’t miss your chance to be part of what could be a special season for the Clarets.

Get your club or team Over the Line Would you like free coverage of your club or team on this page? If so, please contact phil.overtheedge@gmail.com

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Vic on on the Vic theTelly Telly

dragons, caused by a lie, two comedy in it too and it made me It is a Belfast based police It’s called Stranger Things: Tales six-part of Briti sh psychological thriller.

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Page 1929 Page

Creativity Builds Community From award-winning galleries to street art, Chelmsford’s creative spirit thrives.

“These moments

remind me why

local creativity matters. events like Concrete Canvas or the dayto-day engagement at Artists at the Meadows, It’s these experiences That build a stronger

community.

”

A

s I’m writing this article in early June the Concete Canvas event that ran throughout May is still fresh in my mind. It genuinely felt like the best one yet.

As one of the creatives exhibiting at Artists at the Meadows Gallery in the Meadows Shopping Centre, I was involved specifically in the Art Fair that formed part of the Concrete Canvas Street Party in the Bond Street Bowl.

The weather was fantastic and there was a wonderful atmosphere throughout the day. Live music filled the space, children enjoyed painting and drawing activities, and artists worked on large-scale murals that evolved before our eyes from morning through to evening.

I had several of my own artworks on display and, whilst I nearly sold out, what I found even more rewarding were the conversations. Visitors were curious, engaged and genuinely interested in the stories behind the artwork. Many stayed far longer than they had intended, sharing their own experiences, inspirations and thoughts. Speaking with fellow artists afterwards, it became clear that they had experienced exactly the same thing.

For me, that is one of the greatest strengths of events like Concrete Canvas. Art becomes more than something hanging on a wall; it becomes a catalyst for conversation and connection. It brings people together who might otherwise never meet. Judging by the number of visitors and the positive feedback received, it is clear that this event has become an important part of Chelmsford’s cultural calendar. With continued support from local organisations, businesses and residents, I have no doubt that it

Page 30

will continue to grow and become a permanent fixture in the city centre for many years to come.

Then, in early June, came more good news at the Chelmsford for You Business Awards. Artists at the Meadows, the gallery I am proud to be part of, was nominated for three awards this year. That achievement alone was something worth celebrating. However, we surpassed our own expectations by winning two categories.

The first was the Social Responsibility Award for our Scrap Store initiative, which encourages creativity through the reuse of materials that might otherwise go to waste. The second was Best Customer Support.

The latter is an award we have won before and one that means a great deal to all of us. It reflects the care we take in engaging every person who steps through our doors. Time and again, visitors tell us how much they enjoy the conversations, discussing art, sharing stories and creating genuine connections. In an increasingly digital world, there is something special about taking the time to talk face-to-face and share creative experiences.

These moments remind me why local creativity matters. Whether through vibrant outdoor events like Concrete Canvas or the day-to-day engagement at Artists at the Meadows, these experiences help build a stronger, more connected community. I’m proud of what we have achieved and excited about what lies ahead. In Chelmsford, creativity is thriving, and I feel fortunate to be part of it.

Have a great month, Alistair Gillan.

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Page 31

Collect your copy of

at any of the following locations: The White Hart, Little Waltham - The Galvin Green Man, Howe Street - Little Channels Bistro - Bang & Olufsen Channels Restaurant - Channels Café - Nationwide Building Soc - Rayleigh Hi-Fi - Park & Ride (Chelmer Valley & Sandon) - Moulsham News - Costa Coffee (Beaulieu, Riverside, Essex Regiment Way) - Coffee Squared, Beaulieu - Bond Street car park - Fête, Grays Yard - Mercedes, BMW/Mini, Land Rover & Audi showrooms - The Lion Inn, Boreham - Sainsbury’s Boreham - Longacres Garden Centre - NISA Sandford Rd - Tesco, Princes Rd - Miller & Carter - Fox & Raven - Co-Op, Bridge St, Writtle - 2MT Café, Roxwell Rd - The Ship - China City, Broomfield Parade Claremont Garden Centre & The Tin Roof Café, Woodham Mortimer - The Royal Steamer - Jamaica Blue, Bond St ACanteen, New London Rd - Mr Cavendish, Rainsford Rd Meadow Croft Garden Centre, Battlesbridge - Toast - The Cricketers - Sandwich Plus, New St - Little Waltham Social Club & Doctors Surgery - The Hub Café, Warners Farm The Rose of India, Rainsford Rd - Pontlands Park Hotel, Gt Baddow - The White Hart, Margaretting Tye - The Royal Tiger, Rettendon - The Vape Store, Broomfield Parade Tesco, Gt Notley Braintree - ASDA, Chelmer Village - The Riverside Inn - The Two Brewers - The Wheatsheaf - The Woolpack - O’Connor’s - United Brethren - The Orange Tree - The Queen’s Head - The Nags Head - The Railway Tavern - Morrisons, Maldon - Sainsbury’s, Chipping Ongar

A Repetition of History Why do British politicians never learn from history? Well, if they do, they just celebrate the past successes but never forward plan. It’s not just the present politicians, but also something that’s been repeated over and over for the last couple of hundred years.

Just over 200 years ago, with the defeat of Napoleon at the end of the Peninsular campaign in 1814, Lord Liverpool’s British government immediately disbanded most of the army and cut it down by 50%. This was despite its commitment to the continuing supply and reinforcement of troops to North America in the ‘War of 1812’, well, it did last until 1815.

When the threat from Napoleon unexpectedly resurfaced in 1815, there were too few troops available to defend against the advance and might of the French army; and at Waterloo, the Duke of Wellington had to lead a smallish British-Dutch-Belgian coalition army and, without the timely arrival and support of Blücher’s Prussian forces, would most certainly have lost the Battle. It was, as Wellington noted, “A close run thing.”

Now, after Waterloo and the subsequent exile of Napoleon to St. Helena, it was assumed that after 26 years of continuing conflict, there would be a prolonged peace in Europe. Well, was there? Of course not. Throughout the rest of the 19th Century and then into the 20th Century, there were multiple European conflicts recurring at roughly 5-10 yearly intervals, some that included the United Kingdom, some not, but the wars did not go away.

When these conflicts became far too big and involved most of Europe and most notably the United Kingdom, the British Army had to be rebuilt each time the problem arose, but luckily, in 1914 and again in 1940, the army was rebuilt just in time, and to be fair, we did have a breathing space, and of course, we did have help from our US ally.

The same has happened since the end of WW2, there have been multiple conflicts not just in Europe but throughout the world, but despite this, there have been continuing cuts to our armed forces. This has all been supported with the excuse of the post-Cold War peace dividend, the now changing nature of armed confrontation, the new concept of the ‘empty battlefield’ and now the emergence of the inescapable fact: there’s no money left in the kitty, and so, where are we? We’re likely fac-

Page 32

Old Grey Silver Surfer ing a potential European conflict, and the clear lack of the ability of British armed forces to support and protect British interests; the arguments are becoming louder and more divisive, and they threaten the future of not just the prime minister but also that of the British government. Our old reliance on the support from the US has, at the same time, seemingly evaporated, and we are now where we are, and now it’s all a bit like 1814 again.

Why do British politicians never learn from History? The last time our politicians had significant economic and political negotiations with not just Europe but also the rest of the world, they went tieless, and they are still doing the same thing. As I’ve said before, our partially clothed ministers going off to do battle with their opposite numbers in Europe and the US or indeed anywhere else with their open collars and rumpled suits look like schoolboys given the afternoon off. They then have to face their counterparts, such as the Europeans and US politicians, all of whom look crisp and sharp in their bespoke tailored suits, white shirts and carefully knotted ties, always looking intimidating and professional compared to our mob. It’s no surprise we’re always failing to get a good deal.

The real problem is what Gerry Seinfeld defined as the “second button” which, if set too low, makes you look like a 60s pop star without the medallion, and if set too high, makes you look like you just got dressed in a hurry. Now, if our politicians don’t want to wear a tie as they consider it too elitist, why can’t they just adopt the Iranian approach? The Iranians in their carefully constructed collarless shirts have an aura of “don’t mess with me; you don’t know what I’m capable of.” And wow, hasn’t that come true, with their closure of the Straits of Hormuz.

Maybe, maybe, if our Ministers adopted that look, they would be more successful on the world stage.

Over the Edge 07803 422808

Hold my Beer

Rebecca asks: What do you think about Chelmsford?

in the traditional sense, but open to paving their own way) had a far happier experience here. Those who had invested their effort into making, whether that be through self-employment, organising and/or participating in community events and gatherings, those who were openminded and curious seemed to really love living in Chelmsford. They could think of loads of things that were amazing, from waterways and nature to a growing, diverse melting pot and such a variety of pastimes and groups.

One of the biggest issues I do find here is that you must be somewhat ‘in the know’ to participate in a lot of activities, so my questions to you are: • What do you love about Chelmsford already?

• What would bring you more joy to see in your home city?

I’d love to hear your thoughts @Intunewithrebecca When we start to become aware of these things, we can recognise, make steps to actualise and celebrate them when they materialise. The people make the city, so have your say, and find some reasons to smile!

When writing my commissioned poetry piece celebrating our city, I spent a lot of time, in the field (and the city centre!) chatting to the everyday citizens, with the intention to hear and understand authentic perceptions. In moments, it appeared rather bleak, which got me thinking what does Chelmsford offer that we can celebrate?

The thing about the great parts of Chelmsford is that they can be easily taken for granted. The magic is in the micro, the mundane, the parts most of us are too busy to notice; A plethora of well-maintained green spaces, committed refuse officers and budding opportunities.

We can often find ourselves caught up in comparisons, in our personal lives as well as with our city. So how do we start enjoying our existence here a bit more? When a city is still young, we can overlook all that IS happening in favour of what it could be doing. A curious habit of those of us with perfectionistic tendencies. Drawing up comparisons to models of more established, seemingly more vibrant culture, like that of the big smoke, a convenient 30 minute train ride away. It could be tempting to commute to established settings, but what an emerging city gifts us with is input and influence on its future direction. As it is undefined, we get to be pioneers – if we so choose.

A home truth I have learnt about being a creative here is that ‘if the opportunity is not there, don’t just complain about it; make it!’

One of the biggest correlations I could find in interviewing people was those who are creative (not just https://www.overtheedgemag.co.uk

CHELMSFORD’S GHOST PUBS This month we extend our thanks again to Patrick Chaplin, an Over the Edge reader who has kindly shared the findings of his research about another long-lost inn.

The Silent Woman / King’s Head, Widford Today, pub names such as the Silent Woman and the Quiet Woman are frowned upon (by those who like to frown). Some pubs so named still exist in England, but others have changed their names in fear of offending those fascinated by political correctness and conscious of the sensitivity in some quarters surrounding such matters.

One Silent Woman once existed in the Chelmsford District at Widford.

Such a name was usually given by a witty landlord who, not fearing his wife’s anger, depicted a lady on the pub’s sign as either headless, sometimes holding her head under one arm or even with a padlock through her mouth. This was all intended to indicate that such savage means would be the only way men could obtain any peace.

h c a e R l a b lo G e g Over the Ed The July issue of Over the Edge has a distinct Mediterranean feel to it, with loyal readers taking a break during their busy holiday schedules to catch up on Edgy Chelmo news.

Photo 1:

Here we have Brian & Deb Carter along with Vince & Karen Cogan in Faliraki.

Photo 2:

Meanwhile, David Atkins has kindly displayed the May edition of OTE in an exquisite location, giving us all an aerial view of his Ibiza holiday resort.

Photo 3:

Finally, here’s Karen Mordaunt living the high life at the Monaco FI circuit.

In days gone by, Widford was a small village on the outskirts of the County town on the main coaching road between London and Harwich and the Silent Woman and the larger White Horse, nearly opposite, catered not only for the locals but also for travellers.

Other than it also being known as the King’s Head, little else is known about the Silent Woman, Widford although I believe this pictorial image below, titled ‘A view near Brentwood,’ dated 1779, is the very same Widford pub because, firstly, as far as I know, Brentwood has never had a pub of that name and, secondly, the church in the background is, clearly, Widford’s St. Mary’s Church. Artistic licence has depicted more distance between the two.

As for the pub sign itself, Miller Christy, in his book The Trade Signs of Essex (1887), included the two-sided image shown below, which shows the headless woman on one side and King Henry VIII on the other. The popular belief was that the headless woman is Anne Boleyn.

This would link the two pub names Kings

Head and Silent Woman; those names being used at one and the same time.

(By the way, my schoolboy French would indicate to me that ‘Fort Bon’ meant ‘very strong.’)

Writing at the end of the Victorian period, Miller Christy also stated that this and any other sign, be it Silent, Good, or Quiet Woman, were ‘all alike [and] constitute a piece of unwarrantable slander on the fair sex, being intended to convey the idea that a woman can only be silenced by being deprived of her head.’

Even back in the 1970s, readers of the Essex Countryside magazine were referring to the Silent Woman pub as being closed ‘for many years’ with one reader confirming the Anne Boleyn story as being told to her by her grandfather.

Finally, I understand that the sign of the Silent Woman still exists and is held by the Chelmsford and Essex Museum. For a longer version of the history of the Widford Silent Woman please see the Pub History section of my website www. patrickchaplin.com

Page 33

the answers are not as ‘modern’ as we want to believe. The state, big brother, has always had an interest in surveys to see about conscription, as they liked a war back in history (have we actually moved on from that?), management of labour, distribution of food and of course taxation! In fact, we must go a bit further back in time than you can imagine about surveys.

How does 3800 BCE and the Babylonian empire, where the admin boys used clay tablets to record livestock and people, or 2300 BCE and ancient Egypt grab you? The Pharaoh and his administrators used surveys to assess the state of agricultural land after the Nile had flooded.

Did they ask such questions as “after the flood is your farmland 1) damp, 2) knackered, 3) totally buggered?” Once the survey had been completed and the data assessed, the big man could work out how much tax, yes good old taxes even then, had to be paid on the land they farmed on.

Closer to home, we in the UK are no slouches ourselves when it comes to surveys, especially when we had an empire. There was a lot of land and a lot of people to survey, and tax, of course. It’s time to thank William the Conqueror and his dear old Doomsday book, probably the first time you have thought about it since your history teacher droned on and on about it in History, second lesson, Wednesday afternoons in 1975! It is recognised as the first real land survey to check who owned what land-wise, and guess what’s coming next, yes, to see how much tax could be demanded. We get to the edge of the truly modern era and arrive at the 20th century, and “market research” starts.

Companies start to ask if consumers really like their products. I have a simple answer to this: “Are you still selling 2 million of these biscuits every week?” Answer yes. Then I think we can conclude that the public still like your biscuits!

The Edge 320 new_The Edge 172.qxd 17/02/2025 18:46 Page 29

pham ‘Man on the..C..la Omnibus... .still’

Surveys Thank you for reading OTE. We would like you to take part in a small survey to monitor your enjoyment of this month’s magazine.

Don’t panic, as it’s not (thankfully) going to happen (is it Deaks?), but it is illustrative of an insidious trend in modern Britain, and probably elsewhere. Yes, I refer to the incessant rise of the bloody survey. Been to hospital, the survey arrives, how was your outpatient experience?

Well, as far as removing an axe from my head, it went ok for frigs’ sake! Purchase a bog brush from Amazon, and the seller contacts you. Did your bog brush meet expectations? Well, let’s not get into that one for sure. Even M&S are in on the act: “Thank you for visiting our food hall in Braintree. How would you blah blah?”

It is relentless. Is there anybody on earth now who is not surveying every interaction with any service provider of any kind all the time?

We are not far off having a survey to check the survey! Thank you for reading that opening rant. Would you take part in our survey and rate that opening rant against any previous MOTCO articles? ……….nah, just kidding!

Ok, Motty readers, here we go with the sensible, informative bit, and as we often find,

Move on a bit, and during the Han Dynasty in China (206 BCE – 220 CE), the bureaucracy began surveying the population to determine just how many people there were, and you know what’s coming next…….. how much tax they could reasonably collect. Around the same time, the Romans (where would we be without the Romans, I mean, what did the Romans ever do for us?) started counting heads and surveying.

So, what do the professionals who instigate all this merde base the exercise on? They will spout some corporate BS along the lines of…

“Representation: A good survey is like a sneak peek into what everyone’s thinking” Well, I can tell you that right now, I am sick to the eye teeth of surveys. The next lie will say, “Flexibility: You can take surveys anywhere and anyhow – face-to-face chats, online, you name it.” My response to that: yes, you can really pee me off in person by almost tripping me over in the street by hassling me with a clipboard! The last piece they will use to justify the survey is this…

“Economical: Compared to fancy experiments, surveys are the wallet-friendly way to hear from loads of people”. A true statement, I guess, but it’s only friendly and economical to the sender as I must now pay to have a surveillance programme to monitor the spam folders etc.

The coming of the telephone, no, younger readers, not a mobile, but a solid landline. Yes, that thing in your nan’s hallway on its special table plugged into the wall. Instead of hassling you on the pavement, they started calling you at home. No caller ID back then; you had to take the call from the lady at Bird’s Eye enquiring about their fish fingers. That last paragraph may count as this month’s look-up task for younger readers! The arrival of the digital age breaks the dam; it’s super cheap to issue an online survey, and we get a fast-flowing river of digital turdery.

Surveys (sadly) go online, making it super easy to share thoughts anytime, anywhere from shopping habits to political views, it’s all up for questioning and question they do.

Social surveys by proper bodies are needed to help shape the world we live in, that I concede.

What’s not needed are the endless surveys along the lines of “How did we do today?” I note the absence of a few important surveys.

Nobody surveyed me about stopping the production of plain chocolate Bounty bars or plain Toffee Crisps, in fact any kind of toffee crisp, or about how big a bellend Bono really is or why Chelmsford Co-Op stopped stocking Rossi ice cream or why Barnstonworth United never won the FA cup or why it’s allegedly “flaming June” and the rain is sledging off the windows of my office as I write this. No, of course they didn’t.

Anyway, just had a strange phone survey. They asked: How’s the knee feeling? Do you prefer shorts or long trousers? Do you ever get cramps in your calf area? I interrupted and said, “Why are you asking such strange questions?” The The Edge 320 new_The Edge 172.qxd 17/02/2025 18:46 Page 29 surveyor laughed and said, “I’m just polling your leg.”

Yours aye,

Page 34

Over the Edge 07803 422808

OH LUCKY K MAN KY I was recently asked my year of birth. When I admitted to being born in 1962, the response was immediate: “Oh, lucky man.”

Puzzled, I asked why. The answer was that late Baby Boomers — particularly those born in the early 1960s — have enjoyed economic advantages unavailable to younger generations and that the early 1960s was one of the best periods in British history in which to have been born.

So, does my vintage really confer luck? Should I feel smug or guilty?

The debate about generational inequality tends to focus on three areas: housing, pensions and higher education. In my youth, nobody talked much about “generations” in the modern sense (well, The Who did, but you get my drift). The baby boom was a demographic fact, not a political identity. Today, however, commentary about Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z seems impossible to avoid.

whose eventual value is uncertain.

The difference in employer support is striking.

Traditional defined benefit schemes often involved employer contributions equivalent to 15–20% of salary. Modern defined contribution arrangements frequently attract contributions closer to 3%.

The state pension has also become more generous over time, particularly since the introduction of the triple lock. Taken together, workplace pensions and state pensions have left many Boomers enjoying living standards in retirement that are far better than those of previous generations.

Then there is higher education. When I was 18, relatively few people attended university. Despite e gaining a handful of A-levels, I decided that academic life probably wasn’t for me and I entered the world of work instead. Only a small minority of my contemporaries went on to higher education.

Today, nearly half of young people enter university. Higher education has evolved from I bought my first flat in Chelmsford in 1985 at the something reserved largely for the academically age of 23. Mortgage rates were an eye-watering successful into something approaching a mass 15%, but my employer offered a subsidy scheme experience. that effectively rewarded me for getting onto the The expansion has brought enormous property ladder. Within a couple of years, rising opportunities, but also controversy. Many house prices had generated enough equity for me to trade up to a semi-detached house with a graduates now leave university carrying debts that can exceed £70,000. Loan repayments garage while still in my twenties. often feel like an additional tax on earnings that My experience broadly reflected what happened can last for decades. across much of England. From the early 1990s Critics argue that the system is unfair. Yet the onwards, house prices rose far faster than earnings. Those who managed to buy before the issue is more complicated than it first appears. mid-1990s often prospered. Those arriving later Sed dapibus libero sit amet justo finibus, vel Expanding higher education on such a scale faced a much steeper climb. luctus nisl bibendum.

Donec elementum orci ut required funding from somewhere.

The current gravida tempor.

Maecenas libero sed lacus attempts to share the id cost between Of course, younger buyers can reasonably point system rutrumand faucibus.

Maecenas fermentum graduates taxpayers.

Those of my augue out that they never endured mortgage rates of id egestas viverra.

Donec volutpat eu diam ac contemporaries who attended university 15%. Yet lower borrowing costs became part of elementum.

Praesent mollis,treatment. nisi ac ultrices received particularly generous Tuition the problem. Cheap credit pushed house prices gravida, turpis urna interdum velit, et venenatis maintenance grants were available ever higher while the supply of homes remained was free, and they graduated constrained. Existing homeowners benefited nisi justo a tellus.debt-free.

Donec aliquam ullamcorper enormously; aspiring homeowners paid the dolor ut consequat. Morbi rutrum turpis eu nibh Meanwhile, of usdui havetincidunt. largely escaped price. blandit, the et rest tempor Aliquam paying the full cost of expanding higher porttitor scelerisque porta. Proin a volutpat education for subsequent generations. From a Those of us who bought during the transition libero, rhoncus sodales velit.

Boomer perspective, that sounds suspiciously from high interest rates to low interest rates like another win-win. occupied a particularly fortunate position.

Geography boosted the effect. Homeowners in Proin a felis vel nulla vulputate tincidunt vitae in velit.

Behind these debates lies a broader issue: London and the South East generally saw far Vivamus pellentesque fermentum sem eget gravida. economic growth. greater gains than those elsewhere.

Let’s begin with housing.

Aliquam ut egestas est, in elementum tellus. Etiam

Pensions provide another example.

Many people of my generation spent at least part of their working lives in an era when employers commonly offered defined benefit pension schemes. These promised retirement incomes linked to final salary and transferred much of the investment risk to employers.

As people lived longer – another privilege enjoyed by us late Boomers - such schemes became increasingly expensive and were gradually closed to new entrants.

Most younger workers now rely on defined contribution pensions, building investment pots

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pulvinar magnafelt a purus cursus tincidunt.

Donec nec The frustrations by younger generations are purus egetto eros accumsan tristique and sed non eros. not confined housing, pensions student Aliquam erat volutpat. Orci varius natoque penatibus loans. Since the financial crisis of 2007–08, et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus economic growth has been persistently weaker mus. Pellentesque ullamcorper nulla sed velit cursus than many people had come to expect. efficitur. Nam nec lacus vel quam semper euismod

convallisand massa at arcu id odio.of Nulla ac much During the 1980s 1990s, thecursus British tincidunt. Donec finibus lacus eget velit placerat, eget economy expanded at roughly 2% a year. Living fringilla orci congue. standards generally improved, and each generation expected to be noticeably better off than the last.

This century has been a different story. Growth has slowed, interrupted by financial crises, pandemics and geopolitical instability. Progress feels less certain than it once did, and for many people it has stalled altogether.

Perhaps that is the real source of today’s sense of generational unfairness.

My generation reached adulthood during decades when Britain appeared to be moving steadily forward. Rising incomes, expanding opportunities, and growing asset values created a widespread sense of optimism. Many younger people have inherited a far more challenging landscape, characterised by expensive housing, slower wage growth and greater financial insecurity.

This has fuelled debate about the concentration of wealth among older generations. Much of that wealth has accumulated through rising property values, pensions and investments. Some argue that wealth should be taxed more heavily to reduce the burden on those who earn their living through work. Others contend that such measures would unfairly penalise those who have saved responsibly throughout their lives.

Whatever view you take, simply redistributing advantages and burdens between generations is unlikely to solve the underlying problem. The larger challenge is finding ways to restore the economic growth that once allowed most people to feel they were advancing together.

So, was my generation genuinely lucky?

Looking at England through the lens of housing, pensions, higher education and economic performance, the answer is probably yes. But not universally.

Many of my contemporaries never owned property in the South East, never attended university and never enjoyed generous pension arrangements.

Rather than saying that all late Boomers were lucky, it is probably more accurate to say that ours was a generation that had a particularly good chance of being lucky. And if circumstances were kind to you, you could be very lucky indeed.

There were, of course, other privileges attached to being born in the early 1960s. Some of us can vaguely remember World Cup Willie and watching, in black and white, as Bobby Moore lifted the Jules Rimet Trophy. At least we have those distant memories. The generations that followed have endured rather more years of hurt.

It would be an inexcusable omission not to mention Lindsay Anderson’s curious 1973 film O Lucky Man!, which lends this article its title. The film follows an ambitious young salesman through a surreal journey that exposes greed, power and hypocrisy. Perhaps it remains relevant.

As for whether I feel smug or guilty about being a lucky man, the answer is probably a little of both, so I’ll self-congratulate and self-flagellate in equal measure. My year of birth has undoubtedly placed me in a historical purple patch. Since Roman times, purple has apparently been associated with wealth, prestige and good fortune.

Where can I get a purple rinse?

Dalston Whitbread

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Disclosure Day It’s been eight years since Spielberg gave us a bigbudget sci-fi blockbuster with Ready Player One, but a staggering 43 years since he directed a sci-fi film from an original story, that being none other than E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Therefore, there has been much anticipation for Disclosure Day, including speculation that it could be a belated sequel to one of his finest works, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Was “The Beard”, who is undoubtedly one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, about to deliver his masterwork in the twilight of his illustrious career? Sadly, no.

Spielberg has always been fascinated with little green men.

Aside from the aforementioned Close Encounters and E.T., he also featured them in A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and his remake of War of the Worlds.

Disclosure Day feels like it takes all of his ideas, research and theories on alien life and packs them into a flawed adventure movie that could be an extended X-Files episode with a bigger budget. The basic gist of the plot is that Josh O’Connor’s Dr Daniel Kellner has proof of alien life that is being kept secret by the government, and races against time to reveal the truth whilst being pursued by a top-secret organisation led by an oddly cast Colin Firth.

There’s much more crammed in here, though, including Emily Blunt’s sassy weather girl, Margaret, who suddenly finds she can speak any language, including some alien ones too, and ends up joining Daniel to reveal the truth to the world. There are some great set-pieces throughout the film, and it’s full of Spielberg’s usual flourishes (although he does overdo the lens flare). But with so many ideas, I was worried it wouldn’t all pull together and stick the landing, and well, for me, it doesn’t.

Warning: I’m moving into major spoiler territory here, so stop reading if you want to see the film without me giving the ending away. You have been warned.

Ultimately, our heroes succeed in their mission by uploading a bunch of files at a local news network, so the world can see restricted footage of alien encounters, including those at the infamous Roswell site. This just rings hollow in 2026. If such footage appeared on our phones, we would assume it was AI-generated or a joke. Governments would just say it’s fake news, and we would likely accept that.

What the film needed was a bloody great UFO appearing in the skies that everyone could see. To make matters worse, the group helping to get the truth out there wheels a tall geriatric alien into the studio to prove it’s all true. What?

Sorry? If you had that alien all along, why not just bring it out earlier and dispense with all the drama that came before? If someone wheeled an actual alien onto the set of Good Morning Britain to introduce itself to Susanna Reid live on air, maybe, just maybe, we would believe that.

Backrooms Last month, I reviewed Obsession, the breakout horror hit directed by a YouTuber, which has gone on to defy all box office expectations by actually increasing its takings week on week. Since then, Backrooms has hit the screens to huge success — another horror film from a young YouTube filmmaker, Kane Parsons, who is just 20 years old.

An online sensation, Backrooms started as no more than a photo taken at an old department store during its renovation. That singular image of a barren liminal space started a discussion about how it would feel to be trapped

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there forever. Kane Parsons ran with the idea and created Backrooms, a series of shorts on YouTube. Now we have a fully-fledged movie, which is one of the most interesting and disturbing films of the year. Wannabe architect Clark feels stuck working as a manager at a furniture store, often hitting the bottle and blaming his ex-wife for his woes. One night, however, he happens to discover a secret doorway at the back of his store that leads into the Backrooms, a bizarre parallel world that mimics our own and consists of endless yellow corridors and depressing hanging ceilings.

After going missing within these hallways, his therapist, Mary, goes looking for him and soon finds herself also lost within this eerie environment.

Utterly captivating, Backrooms manages to instil a deep sense of unease through its bizarre premise. Unlike most horror films, which rely on darkness to hide their scares, the Backrooms themselves are brightly lit and pretty much empty, which makes them all the more chilling. It feels familiar, yet somehow off. If you have stayed overnight in a vast hotel with endless corridors, or been to a huge furniture or carpet warehouse, you know the odd kind of liminal space they can conjure — a place that is neither here nor there, somewhere in between reality and a dream.

Hugely inventive, superbly acted, and built around a brilliantly constructed central concept, Backrooms is a mustwatch not only for horror fans but for anyone who craves something that feels genuinely new and different.

Masters of the Universe The toys are back in town.

No, not Woody and Buzz from Toy Story 5 — I’m talking about the original 1980s toy range, Masters of the Universe, with HeMan and Skeletor. As a kid, I collected all of these toys and watched the cartoon rabidly every Monday after school, so this megabudget (but arguably ill-advised) sci-fi romp is like catnip for me.

Being such a fan as a kid, I looked forward to the 1987 film adaptation starring Dolph Lundgren. But my hopes were dashed when I saw it. Even back then, I knew it was rubbish.

Where was Battle Cat? Where was Snake Mountain? And why was it set on Earth? Now, 40 years later, Amazon has decided to spend an eye-watering $200 million on this new version. I’m not complaining. Jeff Bezos has to spend his billions on something, so why not spend it resurrecting 40-year-old toy franchises? But really, who is this for? Kids nowadays have no idea who He-Man is, and dads have little time to get to the cinema.

brave Lions, led by our very own SAS of Sheringham and Shearer, could not get it over the line as Southgate broke a nation’s hearts, spooning his penalty into the stadium rafters.

The radio played Ash and The Divine Comedy, Chris Evans hosted his hugely popular breakfast show, and Britpop hit its zenith when Oasis played at Knebworth. The Spice Girls exploded onto the scene, and London became the epicentre of fashion and culture, with Vanity Fair dubbing the UK “Cool Britannia”.

I was working at Chandlers, spending the little money I earned back then in plumbing and heating sales on nights out at the Hot House, necking Skittles-flavoured vodkas before heading to Zeus or Dukes, and recovering from hangovers by playing Tomb Raider and Resident Evil.

But what movies, dear reader, were playing in the summer of ‘96 down at the local Odeon? Back then, the Odeon had just four screens, and with local moviegoers starved of choice since the fleapit that was ‘The Select’ had long since closed, it was always packed out.

Is the film actually any good? I am relieved to say it is. Had this version come out back in ‘87, it would have blown my mind. Everything is spot on: the characters, the action, and the fact that it is set mostly on Eternia. It’s all present and correct. It also has a decent hero’s journey story, as young Prince Adam discovers he is also He-Man and does battle with the nefarious Skeletor.

Tom Cruise launched his Mission: Impossible franchise with the first — and arguably best — entry. A classic spy thriller that had audiences gripping their seats before being blown out of them with one of the most audacious action scenes ever put to screen, as Cruise’s Ethan Hunt clung to the side of a fast-moving Eurostar.

It’s funny, with plenty of jokes for the grown-ups (“Give ‘em head, Ram Man!”), has a great soundtrack featuring songs from Queen, The Killers, 4 Non Blondes and others, and is really just a big slice of silly summer fun.

Jim Carrey nearly tanked his career with the muchunderappreciated megaflop The Cable Guy, while Nicolas Cage was on the comeback trail after Oscar success with Leaving Las Vegas, delivering the first instalment of his much-vaunted “action trilogy”, The Rock (Con Air and Face/ Off followed shortly afterwards).

It’s sad to say that, rather predictably, it hasn’t performed well at the box office, which means we likely won’t get a sequel, despite the tease of She-Ra at the end. But if it’s still playing anywhere by the time this edition hits the shelves, do yourself a favour: go and see it, buy a huge popcorn and fizzy drink, and have a blast for a couple of hours.

Summer Movies 1996 The Lightning Seeds’ Three Lions could be heard bellowing from most bars as Scotland missed a penalty against the Auld Enemy, before Gazza had the Scots crying into their neeps and tatties with his wonder goal. Terry Venables’

Environmental disaster flick Twister astonished audiences with its then-ground-breaking CGI tornadoes and flying cows, but there was one film that really stood out that summer. Long before his infamous Oscar slap, Will Smith became a global megastar with the jingoistic Independence Day, a far more entertaining extra-terrestrial movie than Disclosure Day, in which Randy Quaid defeats the alien menace by flying his plane up the UFO’s metaphorical rectum, shouting: “Alright, you alien assholes! In the words of my generation: UP YOURS!” Ah, good times.

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You sit down with a cup of tea, hoping for a bit of escapism, and before you’ve even taken a sip, there’s a softly spoken voice telling you how easy it all is when your time comes.

Now listen—I understand the intention.

Lovely piano music playing in the background.

Helping families at a difficult time.

A calm, reassuring tone. Happy people laughing and smiling about their luck in finding some funeral plan or another.

And then—my personal favourite—two neighbours chatting over the garden fence like they’re discussing a new air fryer.

“Have you got the number of that funeral company you used last week?”

I’m sorry… what?

Last week?

Who Wants to Live Forever? I do !!!!

What is going on in this street? Is it Brookside Close, where neighbours were getting buried under the patio every other episode?

I am typing this month’s column in the middle of June whilst the rain is hammering down. I spend my life trying to dodge the rain. I feel more like we should be building Arks and forgetting about HS2 and all the shenanigans around that project.

There is always a “Jean” in every street.

Talking of madness… apparently the Straits of Hormuz are now open for business again. The peace treaty has been signed—they all traipsed out to Switzerland to sign on the dotted line.

Why can’t they just use DocuSign like the rest of us and save the air miles?

There we are, rinsing out yoghurt pots and trying to sort the recycling to cut down on our carbon footprint, and these lot are firing missiles and flying across the world to sign a bit of paper.

Last week, all my recycling bags got left behind with a sticker slapped on them. Apparently, the items that can be recycled have now changed—slap on the wrist for me. No more plastic bags; they have to go in another sack now. I really feel for the poor people somewhere in the world who have to sift through all this and sort it out. I bet they say a few rude words every day.

But lately, I don’t know if it’s the weather, the mood of the country, or just the general state of everything— but it feels less like we’re living life…

Are they running some sort of lottery service—“Whose turn is it to pop their clogs this week?”

And then, of course, there’s always Jean.

“Hang on, love, I’ve got it in my handbag… I always carry it with me just in case.”

Just in case of what, Jean?

A spontaneous passing between the post office and the chemist?

Who walks around with a funeral number in their handbag like it’s some sort of advantage card?

Honestly, I barely remember my own phone number most days, but apparently Jean’s out there fully prepared and ready for the afterlife at all times.

And the way they say it—it’s so calm.

So casual.

“They took my Frank away within the hour.”

“Collected with dignity.”

“Lovely chaps—they stayed for a cup of tea and a slice of my cake. Might as well, they said, don’t want to let it go to waste, do we? Not like Frank will be eating it now.”

“They think of everything.”

“Taken care of with no fuss.”

“So your loved ones can get on with living life.”

…and more like we’re all quietly preparing to leave it all at a moment’s notice.

Living life?

Not in a dramatic way.

Because the way they phrase it, it sounds less like a send-off and more like a handover.

Nothing theatrical.

Just in that very British, organised, slightly unsettling way.

Because if you’ve had the telly on for more than five minutes recently, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

Funeral adverts.

Everywhere. Constant. Non-stop, one after the other.

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Spending whose money, exactly?

Of course I do.

It’s about making things easier.

Taking the stress away.

But there’s something about the way it’s presented that just feels… off.

I want Champagne. Proper Champagne. Vintage.

None of this “we’ll just get a few bottles in from the supermarket.”

No.

Too neat.

I want the good stuff flowing.

Too tidy.

I want people leaving saying,

Too… efficient.

“Well… she certainly didn’t do things by halves.”

Like it’s been turned into a service you can add to your weekly shop.

“Milk, bread, eggs… funeral plan.”

Sorted.

Because I didn’t. I have never been a halfway-anything girl—it’s all or nothing, or not at all.

“Take control now.”

And I don’t want to arrive at the pearly gates looking calm, composed, and perfectly presented like I’ve just popped out for a dental appointment.

“Make it easier for your loved ones.”

No.

So now, not only are we expected to live life, pay bills, and navigate everything else—we’re also meant to sit down and plan our own exit too.

Don’t forget to turn the water and gas off before you pop off, and make sure there’s enough food for the cat for a month.

I want to arrive slightly dishevelled.

And then they start talking about preplanning.

“Right, let’s see… cremation or burial?

Midweek slot?

Tea afterwards?”

I don’t even know what I’m doing next Tuesday, let alone organising my own farewell. They say it’s good to be organised—but I can’t even keep the same pair of shoes on all day, let alone design my own funeral.

And I’ll be honest with you…

It’s not for me.

When my time comes—and it will, for all of us—I am not going quietly.

Absolutely not.

Hair a bit wild.

Shoes in hand.

Laughing.

“Sorry I’m late… it got a bit lively.”

That’s how you make an entrance.

Because if there’s one thing we’re very good at in this country, it’s keeping things in order.

Queueing.

Planning.

Organising.

Keeping everything running smoothly.

Even at the very end.

But maybe… just maybe… we’ve taken it a bit too far.

Because life isn’t neat.

It isn’t tidy.

I don’t want soft piano music. I want loud music blaring out.

It isn’t something that should be packaged up, labelled, and filed away ready for collection.

I don’t want “no fuss.” I want maximum chaos.

It’s messy.

I don’t want something that can be wrapped up neatly in a brochure.

It’s unpredictable.

I want a send-off.

A proper one.

I want a marching band.

I want noise.

I want laughter.

I want stories being told that get slightly out of hand as the day goes on.

I want a full choir of happy-clappy singers giving it everything they’ve got like it’s Saturday night and no one’s going home early.

Crack on with what?

I love those funerals you see online where those amazing guys show up in overseas countries and dance and bounce the coffin around on their shoulders—everyone celebrating the person’s life. I want some of that.

They’ve not even gone five minutes, and they’re redecorating, booking a holiday, joining “Our Time” dating sites—no time for tears!

I want professional wailers—real commitment. Not polite sniffing. I want people throwing themselves into it like they’ve lost the plot entirely. Screaming

“Don’t worry, we’ll deal with everything… and your loved ones can crack on.”

and wailing all down Chelmsford High Street—please, very very loudly outside the shoe shops.

It’s loud.

And if you’ve lived it properly—if you’ve laughed, cried, made mistakes, got things wrong, got things right— then surely the way you leave it should reflect that.

Not just a quiet exit and a printed leaflet.

So, no offence to Jean—and her very well-organised handbag—but I won’t be needing the number.

Not yet. Not for a very very very long time.

I intend to live everyday like its my last.

They say you only live once—well, in my book, if you do it wildly enough… once is enough.

I’ve still got a few things to do.

And not forgetting the Editor of Over the Edge to torment.

Have a good July and let’s pray for the sunshine – TT Over the Edge 07803 422808

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