WEB_OTE_Issue 22 May 2026

OVER EDGE the

ISSUE NO: 22

“The Winter doesn’t last forever, Spring is here edition”

MAY 2026

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Page 2

” l a i r o t i d E y “The Edg Thank you for picking up the May edition of Over the Edge magazine. We have so much to tell you! Where shall we start?

Let’s start with news of our soon-to-be sister magazine, Over the Edge Norwich.

Yep, we are close to launching another Over the Edge in another city! We also have another couple of cities in mind, so keep watching this space, as they say. Check out page 33 for more details, and if you want to launch a magazine yourself in another area, get in touch with graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk for more details on how this could work for you.

Our Instagram views are going through the roof, so please visit @overtheedgeessex and @overtheedgenorwich, where the last time we looked, we were getting over 100,000 views per month combined.

These are crazy numbers, and since we promote our advertising partners there, it is good news for them also. We have to thank Jasmin Albon, who writes for you on page 14, for our uptick in social media activity.

Visits to www.overtheedgemag.co.uk are similarly going crazy. Phil, who writes our travel column, keeps the website current with the addition of the latest content, and if you do nothing else today, visit the Old Jokes Home on the website, where every joke featured on our very popular Only Joking page (page 32) is shared. The number of subscribers to the magazine, who receive the latest edition of the mag to their inbox every

month, has continued to climb beyond 1,200, the last time we looked. The website was designed and is managed by the very talented Shannon Kate Murray, who advertises on page 35 and who is currently building another website for one of our advertisers.

That’s what this little old mag can do for you folks.

Finally, we bring you news of Artificial Intelligence (AI) arriving in Over the Edge. A couple of our columnists have written about AI over the last couple of months, and the virtual postbag at OTE HQ suggests you have enjoyed these articles. Therefore, we have partnered with an AI expert friend of the magazine who will provide us with all of the major trending AI news, as well as some simple tips for improving our AI knowledge. You will not want to miss the monthly column (daily/hourly might be more appropriate given the pace of technological change!), and the supporting Edge AI website. If you’re looking to explore AI and the rather advanced-sounding, Agentic AI’ for your own business, the website includes its very own reactive “design” tool that will guide you on how the expert team can build custom functionality quickly for you. We have seen Edge AI at work, and we are beyond excited to share this with you. The magazine’s Edge AI column will arrive in June.

Is that enough for you? It’s all going on at OTE HQ.

Deaks - Over the Edge graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

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“only” go back 25-30 years or so, and others I’ve picked up along the way through work and other events.

So, a shout out to The Jolly Boys; Ken, Carts, Trev, Ray, Russ and Vince and to Nick and Steve, all pictured on the right. I should add Phil, who is co-editor of this magazine, whom I’ve known since I was four years old, because our parents lived four houses apart, and several others that I have befriended along the way, such as both Andys, John, Daryl, Tony, Stephen, Paul and Bob. And then there is Lou, Karen, Paula, Amy, Sam, Tracie and Pam (Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too ).

s k l o f o Hell This month, I wanted to talk to you about old friends. I think I am blessed to have in my life friends who go back to when I was a nipper.

I don’t think everyone can boast a group of friends that go all the way back to their school days. We grow out of our old friends, we move away, and of course, we get married, start our own families, and develop new friendships. We fall out with friends too!

I was inspired to write this article by a couple of those old friends. We have a WhatsApp group by the name of The Jolly Boys, a subtle nod towards Only Fools & Horses, of course, and this group of pals go all the way back to school days, clubbing nights out in Chelmsford in our teens and playing 5-a-side football well into our forties. I was rubbish by the way, always the last to be picked and often stuck in goal. It was once said of me that my speed was deceptive.

Apparently, I was slower than I looked!

We now meet regularly for a pint, or eight, often for birthdays and at least once a month.

That’s over fifty years of friendship right there. One of the Jolly Boys said last time we were out, “I really can’t put into words how much this group means to me,” and it got me thinking (it was nearly midnight, and a lot of beer had been consumed) how blessed I am to have my friends in my life. Not just The Jolly Boys, but all of my friends. Some friends

I am now worried that I’ve missed someone off my little roll call! If I’ve missed you off, it’s because I’ve not seen you for a while, so get in touch! I am truly blessed since I also have a very strong family unit too, which I’ve previously written about in this magazine. Life is good, and the parties are epic!

Well, that’s a wrap, folks. I really hope you are all blessed with lots of friends, old and new, because they’re really important in our lives. I never take my friends for granted, and I am thankful for them all being in my life. If you have a group of close friends, grab a copy of Over the Edge,, and send a photo of you all gathered around the magazine.

I will then include it within our Global Reach article, together with a name check for you all.

Have a wonderful May, everyone. Please let this be the start of a warm summer. I’m fed up with being cold, and my boiler runs on oil.

Don’t even get me started on the cost of oil; I don’t have the column inches left to share my anger!

TTFN Deaks Over the Edge graham@overtheedgemag.co.uk

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Page 5

The Literary Corner

by Kat de Naoum There are two types of people in the world. Those who look at books the way a starving person looks at freshly baked bread, who can’t pass a bookshop without going in (rarely leaving empty-handed), who feel at home in libraries, and who make a beeline for the back of a charity shop with a sense of urgency, as though the books are waiting. These people feel real grief just thinking of all the books yet to be read, and have, at some point, thought: if something terrible happened and I ended up in prison… just think of all the books I’d get to read! And then there’s everyone else, reading this, wondering what the devil I’ve been taking.

Those in the former group (my group) often feel a little misunderstood. We can be a tad judgemental of those who don’t, won’t, or can’t read, and can’t stress the importance of reading to everyone and anyone who will listen. We hoard books because giving them away feels like banishment. Who knows what might become of them? I discovered the full extent of this recently while alphabetising my collection and found two copies of each of The Canterbury Tales, David Copperfield, and Sybil. A sensible person might think it best to keep one and donate the other. But these weren’t just duplicates; they were elderly, delicate editions I had hunted down myself (forgetting I already owned them). How do you choose which to keep? It felt less like decluttering and more like Sophie’s Choice for books.

Admittedly, these are problems only fellow sufferers will understand. Not that the second group doesn’t enjoy reading, but there’s a difference between liking stories and being possessed by them. Which brings me to literary fiction, a genre that only Group A seems to have the patience for. Most people want action and suspense, but literary fiction is less concerned with plot and more with language, character, and human intricacies. It’s about how something is said as much as what is said. Not everyone takes to it immediately. Case in point: as a teenager, I’m ashamed to say my copy of As I Lay Dying was subjected to book abuse at my hands. It lived in an overstuffed bag for months, ended up battered and bent, and was at one point hurled at a wall. The words meant nothing. Then, one day, something shifted. The lightbulb came on... and stayed on.

All of this to say, it’s perfectly fine if literary fiction doesn’t speak to you yet. We’re still friends. But a small, involuntary part of me wishes it did, so that you, too, can discover the extraordinary. But would I wish it enough to cunningly and meticulously plant the seeds of literary love in this column, instilling it drop by drop, word by word, with each carefully curated book selected to make you fall, hard? Oh no. Not I. But just between us… it’s working, isn’t it? Ooh, you and literature, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.

About Kat Kat de Naoum (BA (Hons) Eng Lit & Phil, MA Creative Writing) is a writer/author, editor, mother, and avid reader. Since starting out as a staff writer at a local London paper in 1999, Kat has written for many print and online publications. When she’s not parenting, writing, or buying more books (which she really should not be doing), you’ll find her consuming a book, in any and every format.

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Book of the Month — May 2026 A Little Life (2015) Hanya Yanagihara In what can only be described as an outlier in literary fiction, Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life is a piece of work that firmly belongs in the category, yet no one could accuse it of being a novel where “nothing happens.” This behemoth of a book (that could easily double as a small side table) has both the smooth, flowing prose of a literary great and the momentum of an action novel told in its backstory. Things are constantly being unveiled. In fact, it has been accused of having “too many” things having happened. Just when you think you understand a character, particularly Jude, another layer is revealed, and then another, each one more devastating than the last. His past is so relentlessly traumatic that it shapes every corner of his life.

It might take you an age and a half to get through (this is not a one-sitting kind of read) but it is rewarding. If, that is, you consider searing, heart-wrenching pain a reward. Have a box of tissues at the ready.

Oldie but Goodie Stoner (1965) John Williams Going on from my rambling intro, Stoner by John Williams neatly fits the literary fiction trope where nothing’s really going to keep you on the edge of your seat. There are no shocking twists or dramatic crescendos. I know that’s not exactly the best way to sell a book, but hear me out.

The book opens with what feels like a brief obit of a very average teacher, William Stoner. Raised on a small farm, he goes to university to study agriculture, expecting to return home, but instead discovers a passion for literature that changes everything. That unexpected passion is the real star of the show here, and it’s the writing that keeps you hooked.

Stoner’s life is largely uneventful. He isn’t extraordinary, and nothing out of the ordinary happens to him, nor does he do anything particularly remarkable. He has a regular life, a family, a mortgage, some work spats, and the kind of everyday situations that could happen to anyone. As you read on, he remains an ordinary man with an unremarkable life. You won’t come away thinking he’s extraordinary, but rather with a deep respect for, and relating to, that very ordinariness. You begin to wonder why he acts (or doesn’t) as he does, and what you would do in the same situation. You might even recognise parts of your own life in his. Writing about Stoner doesn’t do the book (or the man) any justice. Reading it, though, certainly does. At the end of the day, William Stoner is a nobody. But John Williams has made sure we remember his name.

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Page 7

CITY CENTRE UPDATES FROM YOUR BUSINESS IMPROVEMENT DISTRICT, CHELMSFORD FOR YOU

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So one of the main questions I get asked all the time...other than when is Zara coming to Chelmsford...is ‘What exactly is a Business Improvement District?’

The easiest way to explain it is: we are a not-for-profit organisation, funded by the businesses within a specific area, which for Chelmsford is the city centre. We invest that money back in to various projects and events that improve the business experience in the city, so it could be marketing and promotion, attracting people to visit and spend money, or it could be supporting other partners like Essex Police or the City Council to reduce crime and anti social behaviour, or providing value to businesses via staff training and development. No two days are the same and I absolutely love the variety that comes with this job.

So looking back over the last few weeks, what has my job looked like?

Well, events wise, we’ve had The Chelmsford Takeover and Cocktail Weekend which received great feedback and proved very popular. It’s not every day you get a selfie with Chewbacca! We’ve also launched a new radio and crime reporting scheme for businesses across the city which will have a massive impact in how we work together for good.

We have been visiting various businesses to hear

from them about their concerns on business rate changes and attending events, providing information and support on the matter.

We’ve also been in to meet new businesses in the city like Zorbas Bakery on Baddow Road... I can highly recommend a visit - their cakes are amazing!

That’s it from me for another month but you can find me on Instagram: @_saratupper_ Page 8

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Page 11

Inspiration for the Population

Design Furniture That Lasts | On Use, Time, and the Objects We Keep

continued…

In contrast, furniture designed purely for appearance often resists this process. It deteriorates rather than matures. Its value declines as surfaces wear, because it was never designed to accommodate use in the first place.

The distinction is subtle, but important. One type of furniture becomes more itself over time. The other becomes less.

Repair, Not Replacement | Longevity is not only about initial design. It is also about what happens afterwards.

Furniture that lasts is almost always furniture that can be repaired.

Components can be replaced. Mechanisms can be adjusted. Materials can be maintained. This extends the life of the object and reduces the need for replacement, but it also changes the relationship between user and object.

Repair introduces care. It acknowledges that the object is worth maintaining, not discarding. The Aeron chair is a good example of this.

Its parts are modular, its mechanisms can be serviced, and it is not disposable. That decision, made at the point of design, is what allows it to remain in use long after many of its contemporaries have disappeared.

In over three decades of designing interiors, and working closely with furniture at every level, very few standard products hold any meaningful value beyond their initial use. Most are depreciated almost immediately, treated as expendable once they leave the showroom.

The Aeron chair has always felt like an exception. It is one of the few widely specified products that retains a presence in the resale market, still valued, still sought after, still in use. That alone says something important.

Not about brand, but about design that extends beyond its first life.

A Familiar Form | There are certain objects that follow you through your working life without demanding attention. They do not announce themselves, they do not age dramatically, and rarely become subjects of converThis does not place it alongside the iconic works of Le Corbusier, Eames, or sation. Yet they are always there, quietly supporting the rhythm of work. others whose pieces operate in a different cultural and collectible space, For me, one of those objects is the Aeron task chair | It is not a piece of rarely seen in everyday office environments. But within the context of furniture most people would describe as beautiful in the traditional sense, commercial furniture, it stands apart. yet it possessed a quiet, space age elegance when it first appeared. Its Starti tin ng Well | For startups and small businesses, these ideas are often exposed structure, mesh surface, and material honesty gave it a distinct tested most quickly. Limited budgets and the need to move fast can lead to presence, one that felt both engineered and refined. It was well designed, decisions that prioritise immediacy over longevity. Furniture is frequently but without excess, a clarity of intent that made it instantly recognisable. treated as temporary, something to be upgraded later, once the business I remember when it became the standard task chair for Microsoft. It was has established itself. rolled out across offices throughout the UK and Ireland, a consistent, Furniture that cannot adapt becomes redundant, and what begins as a almost invisible layer within different environments. We managed that short term solution often becomes a long term compromise. process, specifying, coordinating, and installing the same chair at scale.

What struck me then, and still does, is how effortlessly it integrated. It Starting well does not mean spending excessively. It means making a small never dominated a space, but always belonged. number of considered decisions, choosing elements that can evolve with the business rather than limit it. Durable seating, adaptable desk systems, Over time, it becomes less an object and more a constant, a tool that outand a clear understanding of how space will be used can provide a lives trends. Quiet endurance has long interested me more than novelty. foundation that supports growth rather than reacting to it.

Furniture in Moti tio on | Furniture is often treated as static, something placed and forgotten. In reality, it is one of the most active elements in any space. When these decisions are made with care, the result is not just a functional space, but one that feels resolved from the outset.

It is touched, moved, worn, and tested daily. Unlike architecture, which remains at a distance, furniture exists in direct contact with the body.

Discomfort, instability, or superficial construction cannot hide. Good furniture, however, recedes. It supports without interruption, allowing the user to focus on something else.

The Aeron chair was not designed as a statement piece, yet it possessed a quiet, space age elegance that made it instantly recognisable. Its clarity of structure gave it a presence that felt both engineered and refined, an object shaped by purpose rather than decoration.

Made for the Masses | That is not, in itself, a criticism. Mass production has made design accessible, efficient, and scalable in ways once unimaginable.

But it has also introduced a different set of priorities. Speed of production, cost reduction, and visual appeal often outweigh longevity, repairability, or material integrity. The result is furniture that satisfies immediate need but rarely earns long term presence. Pieces are replaced rather than repaired.

A considered WDL designed workspace for a ‘startup’, shaped by early decisions.

Materials are selected for cost rather than endurance. Design becomes What Remains | Looking back across projects, offices, and years of work, surface driven, optimised for first impression rather than sustained use. the pieces that remain are rarely the most visually striking. They are the Time as a Design Material | What interests me more is furniture that ones that have proven themselves through use. They have adapted, improves, or at least stabilises, with time. endured, and quietly supported the spaces around them.

This is not about nostalgia or returning to craft for its own sake. It is about recognising time as a design material. Just as proportion shapes form and light shapes space, time shapes value. A piece that can endure use, adapt to change, and remain relevant across years carries a different weight.

They do not draw attention, but their absence would be felt. This, to me, is the measure of good furniture. Not how it looks when it arrives, but how it performs over time. Not how quickly it can be replaced, but how long it can remain. In a culture that often prioritises the new, there is something quietly radical about designing objects meant to stay. Furniture that lasts is At WDL | This question surfaces constantly. Clients often ask for not just about durability. It is about intention, responsibility, and an something new, something distinctive, something that signals change. That understanding that design does not end at installation. is understandable. But alongside that request sits another, quieter one, whether furniture will still make sense in five, ten, or fifteen years. Design- It continues, quietly, through use. ing for that timescale requires restraint. It asks different questions. Not just Thanks for reading how something looks today, but how it will be used, maintained, and understood over time. | Design Dude The Value of Use | There is a particular quality that emerges in furniture that has been used well. It is not always visible, but felt. Edges soften, materials settle, and mechanisms become familiar. The object begins to carry the imprint of its user, not as decoration, but as evidence. This is something that cannot be made. It can only be accumulated.

Page 12

| Inspiration for the Population | Email: DesignDude.20@gmail.com ARTWORK | Marilyn Munroe in LA

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Page 13

FESTIVAL SEASON ssions of

Confe A Weekend Chaser

There’s a very specific version of myself that exists between Monday and Thursday.

She drinks her water. She gets early nights.

She has her life together. She is calm. She is organised. She is… not the whole picture.

Because by the time Friday evening rolls around, Weekend Me has entered the chat, and she’s not here for sensible.

It always begins the same way. One plan. One event. One very sensible commitment. “Let’s just pop out for one.” But weekends, very much like the group chat, escalate quickly, and before you know it, your weekend has more bookings than a beach hut in Southend… and you’re somehow expected to survive it all.

There is a moment, usually mid-afternoon, when everything still feels under control.

Music on. Outfits selected. A large vino is poured “to get ready.” You’re standing in front of the mirror thinking: “This is going to be a nice, sensible evening.” This was, in fact, not going to be a nice, sensible evening. There’s always a turning point. You don’t notice it at first, it creeps in quietly like your unwanted ex sliding into your DM’s.

Maybe it’s the third drink. Maybe it’s the singalong song that we all know. Maybe it’s saying “well, we’re out anyway…” like that somehow justifies everything that follows. And that’s it. You’re in for the long haul. The night is no Page 14

longer yours. You are simply coming along for the ride.

Let’s address the part we all choose to ignore in the moment. Your card has been tapped so many times that it’s verging on a workout for your biceps. Drinks keep appearing before the last one has been finished. Tapas and picky bits are purchased to ‘line the stomach’ and soften the inevitable hangover. And yet, in the moment? You treat yourself, girl! It’s only the next day, when you open your banking app with one eye closed, that reality hits. The reality check the morning after a “big one.”

A cautious wake-up. A moment of stillness.

Then the memories flood back in. The messages. The photos. The vague memory of promises you can’t remember the small print of.

made and stories that get brought up for months to come.

We all know that no matter how many times we say “never again”, we will, in fact, go again. Because let’s be honest, if there’s something on, we’re there! The vision blurs, the hangover fades, the bank balance recovers. But the memories with your favourite people? They’re the ones that last a lifetime.

Jasmin Albon Over the Edge

You lay there for a moment, questioning the world.

Choices, energy, your ability to recover like you used to. This is where things have changed. Once upon a time, recovery meant… nothing. You’d bounce back. Go again.

No fear. Now? Now it’s a 3 to 5 working-day road to recovery. And the thing is, it always looks different.

Some weekends are a full night out in the city with dance floors, tequila roses and trying to navigate the taxi driver home. Other times it’s the pub around the corner, a last-minute house party or a kitchen disco where one bottle of wine turns into three.

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Page 15

Imagine this, the sun is shining for the first glimpse of Spring, and the first few guests have opted to sit outside to dine.

Having had their food delivered to their table, one lady pops inside to let us know that a bird has pooped onto the middle of the table, splatting the ladies and their food with you know what. Now, of course, the first and really the only option is to replace the food immediately, and that’s what we did. But at whose cost? I’m not posing this question to imply the ladies are in the wrong- they’re not. It’s not their fault, nor is it ours, that a seagull happened to fly by just as they were tucking into their lunch. However, if we were to turn around and say, yes, that’s fine, ladies give us 10 mins and then give them a bill with 8 burgers to pay for instead of the 4 they originally ordered, there may be a few questions raised, to say the least.

We, as a restaurant, take the knock, swallow the often hard-to-swallow pill of ‘yes, it’s customer service and is what it is’. The ladies will come back because they’ve had a nice time, and we dealt with this bizarre situation in the best way possible… but what if they don’t come

back and what if the thought of the bird poo taints their taste buds and they don’t enjoy the food? There are so so many situations like this that happen weekly, daily even, that are left for us to resolve at our expense. Most other situations in most other industries, it would be different, but because it’s happened in a restaurant, it’s our thing to fix. Our industry has to swallow the ‘it’s okay, what else can we do’ pill so so often and I don’t know why it’s just expected.

Let me explain my point – if you were sitting on a park bench, enjoying your Thursday lunch time sandwich and packet of Ready Salted from Tesco and a bird pooed on the sandwich, are you going to march back to Tesco to ask for a new sandwich for free? You will huff and puff, maybe giggle if you’re having a good day and dispose of the sandwich, buy a new one or eat around the poo.

So why is it that a restaurant has to take the hit for these kinds of things? It is important to note that as I’m writing this, I’m not disputing the fact that the restaurant should remake the food. In this situation, it’s the only suitable thing to do. It’s just a part of my job that always

e v o L e h t r o F s r a e B y d of Ted This month, we feature a teddy that is being worked on by Chris R, a respected and much sought-after teddy surgeon in Chelmsford. I discovered Chris via the Next Door app. You can find her contact details there, or you can email graham@ overtheedgemag.co.uk and we will put you in touch. WARNING - You might want to avert your gaze from the before and after photos below if you are of a squeamish nature and do not like the sight of raw stuffing.

And remember, dogs and teddies are not always best friends!

Page 16

stumps me, leaving me feeling helpless, sometimes stupid and yes, the right thing to do is the right thing to do but in tough financial times, to remake 4 burgers after we’ve just made 4 burgers and not gain anything apart from customer satisfaction (if we’re lucky) is often hard to accept.

The same thing happens if a guest spills their own wine or orders a salad, forgetting to ask to have the dressing on the side. I teach our team to replace the wine as a gesture of good will. Maybe not a large-large glass, but providing them with a new glass of wine shows that we mean well and are genuinely sorry for something that’s happened, despite it having nothing to do with us.

Things like this happen all the time, and I always wonder if I’m doing the right thing, getting the chefs to remake a salad without the dressing even though we are, yet again swallowing the cost because of an error that wasn’t ever ours to own.

Recently, a gentleman (well, not a very gentle man but still) came in for lunch with his teenage sons. He had a friendly chat with the team and me, ate and drank £120’s worth and then left

without paying (on purpose). Immy, our supervisor, ran after the man; she had a small verbal altercation with him that finished with him pushing her out of his way as he sprinted up the High Street. I wasn’t far behind Immy, and I (probably stupidly) decided to continue to run after him. Once I’d caught up with him and realised that I wasn’t going to achieve much apart from putting myself in a risky situation, I was sworn at, pushed against a wall and then watched him (as I fought back frustrated tears) chuckle as he jogged away into the distance. Another situation that we just had to swallow, this time not just the financial loss to the business, but the emotional stress/ shame of the entire situation. The worst thing about this was that once Immy and I had caught our breath and managed to control the fiery adrenaline pumping through our veins, an onlooker who was dining at the same time and had watched the entire event play out, said that we should have clocked on that the man was going to run away. ‘We should have been more switched on’…. Wonderful Thursday lunch time shift that was.

I don’t really know what this article is trying to achieve other than maybe just venting some of my heavily suppressed frustrations that are the everyday reality of our industry, which are rarely discussed. I’m not finishing this article with a miraculous solution or a profound statement, just highlighting something that is often no one’s fault, and just a really really really really annoying part of our wonderful industry.

K i d s reading

OVER EDGE the

A bit of self-indulgence this Cn BT e721hey, month, folks, but we Squar 143pt are not getti ng any new kids reading the magazine!

Please do send a photo of your little ones reading Over the Edge as we do love to share these. Send them to graham@overtheedge.co.uk and in the meantime, here are two of Deaks’s beautiful grandchildren, Aurora and Lachlan, reading the magazine in Coffee at the Mill in Moulsham Mill.

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Essex Food Review

Tapas in Town

Tapas is one of our favourite ways to eat - trying a variety of dishes makes it perfect for sharing with friends and discovering new favourites. Essex has some fantastic spots to choose from, so we’ve picked out our two favourites to share with you. If there’s anywhere else you think we should check out and review, we’d love to hear your recommendations!

Pinchos, Chelmsford

Two besties dishing up the details on Essex’s best restaurants, cafes, pubs and pop-ups.

Best friends Hannah and Issy, both born and raised in Chelmsford, decided to turn their love for food and eating out into an Instagram page dedicated to reviewing and recommending eateries across Essex, alongside helping local food businesses and events with their marketing and social media.

Get in touch:

@essexfoodreview essexfoodreview@gmail.com

Pinchos is located on Baddow Road in Central Chelmsford. It has been there for years and has always been that easy go-to spot where you want that perfect mix of casual but special. The interior is super cosy, extremely welcoming and relaxed. They have outdoor seating which is perfect as summer comes and the longer evenings can be enjoyed outside.

We tend to go as a 4, order some tapas to share and a paella for 2. It’s a great way to try new dishes. Our favourite dishes are Calamares Frito, Gambas Pil Pil, Croquetas de Jamon and of course the classic Patatas Bravas. There is lots of the menu that we’re still yet to try but guaranteed it will be good, and they always have daily specials to try.

They have a great wine list too, plus Sangria which just makes you feel like you’re on holiday. The tapas range from on average £6 £11 which is quite reasonable - they have a great lunch time deal from Tuesday - Friday, 12-3pm for 3 tapas for £13.95.

Pinchos, Chelmsford

Pinchos, Chelmsford

El Pulpo, Witham

Pinchos, Chelmsford El Pulpo, Witham

El Pulpo, Witham Page 18

El Pulpo, Witham

This had been on our list to try for so long and we finally got round to trying it a couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t eaten in Witham before and we really loved it. Another cosy, dim-lit, relaxed but welcoming vibe, we went on a Friday and it was fully booked with a great atmosphere inside. They have a mix of the simple classics plus some innovative dishes.

This place is a little more expensive but as we said, it is more unique dishes. A great date night spot, we shared cured meats & cheese, olives, calamari, pork belly with a bean stew and croquettes. We will definitely be back to try a few more things. Some other great dishes on the menu were grilled salt cod loin, loaded dirty seafood bravas, octopus with black risotto and slow braised ox cheek. As they quote on their menu ‘It’s about tasting a little bit of everything, sharing your experience, getting together and enjoying food’ - and we couldn’t agree more!

Essex Food Review x

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Join us for our next event

Manor Lodge care home, Chelmsford

Community Together Fest Friday 29th May 2026, 11.30am - 2.30pm Join us for the Community Together Fest at Galleywood Heritage Centre, a celebration bringing local people and organisations together.

Enjoy an afternoon of free activities, live entertainment, offering the chance to learn more about local services and groups in a relaxed and friendly setting.

Take the opportunity to meet others in the community, discover what’s happening locally, and enjoy time together.

Location: Galleywood Heritage Centre, The Common, Off Margaretting Road, Galleywood, Chelmsford, CM2 8TR

Trusted to care.

To attend please call 01245 904876 or email karla.smith2@careuk.com Page 20

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Advertising Feature

Live your life the way you choose Live every day your way at Manor Lodge in Chelmsford, where you can continue with much-loved hobbies, try new activities and make new friends all in a welcoming, safe environment.

From pampering sessions in the hair and beauty salon, movie marathons in the cinema, to socialising in the café – enjoy a fulfilling lifestyle tailored to you.

Choose what makes you happy At Manor Lodge you can fill your day with activities you enjoy. From crafting, baking and gardening to laughter-filled days out, we’ll support you to live life to the full. Highlights include trips to Chelmsford Museum and Hylands Park.

For restful moments or quieter days, you can enjoy a natter over afternoon tea with friends and family in the café or simply enjoy the sunshine with a good book in our landscaped gardens.

and accessibility for all. Meals are tailored to suit any dietary needs you may have, including modified diets if you have difficulties with swallowing (dysphagia). Rest assured that no matter your needs, you’ll enjoy high-quality, tempting meals, as well as sweet and savoury treats.

Dine in restaurant-style surroundings, with the reassurance that our team is ready to step-in if you need a helping hand at mealtimes. In-room meals are also available if needed.

Freshly prepared, seasonal dishes are created with residents’ input so you can still enjoy family favourites while trying tasty new dishes. What’s more, our person-centred approach to dining means that our chef will always

do their utmost to accommodate your requests, even if they are not on the current menu.

Trusted to care At Care UK, we’ve been delivering high quality, person-centred care for over 40 years. That’s why over 10,000 families across the country trust us to care for their older loved one.

To find out more about Manor Lodge call 01245 904876 or visit our website careuk.com/manor-lodge Manor Lodge care home Manor Road, Chelmsford, Essex CM2 0EP

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n o l r a M d o o w e Har Songkran in Thailand My first experience of Songkran in Thailand was nothing short of unforgettable. From the moment I stepped outside, I was swept into a whirlwind of energy, streets turned into water fight battlegrounds, music blasting from every corner, and strangers laughing like you’d known them for years. It was chaos, but in the best possible way!

Getting completely soaked in the heat, dancing through the streets, and celebrating Thai New Year with so much joy and openness made it more than just a trip. It felt like being part of something, a culture that knows how to celebrate properly and bring people together.

I was out there with Carlton Cole, and we made sure to check in with Konstantinos Mavropanos with a FaceTime after his standout performance against Wolverhampton Wanderers. Catching up with him like that, right after such a big display, was a quality moment, and the Thai Hammers thoroughly enjoyed it.

Another standout part of the trip was seeing just how far the reach of West Ham United really goes. The support out in Thailand was incredible. The atmosphere, the numbers, the passion, it was clear how much the Club means to fans there.

From the chaos of Songkran to the tension of a relegation run-in, this trip had a bit of everything. One thing’s for certain, though, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Bring on the next one!

Marlon Harewood Founder and Director MH10 Global LTD

Massive credit to the Thai Hammers Fan Club as well, who put everything into bringing people together. It turned into one of those nights that sticks with you, made even better by a big result on the pitch!

But while the celebrations were in full swing, there was a serious edge to things back home.

In the Premier League, West Ham’s final fixtures are absolutely crucial. They’re right in the fight to stay up, and every single game now carries huge weight. There’s no room for slip-ups. A win can create breathing space, but a loss pulls you straight back into danger.

It’s that tight. For the players, the staff, and fans everywhere, including those we met in Thailand these last matches will define the season.

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Wednesday evening), waiting and watching as a clock ticks down quickly until you then hear a very loud GO. And like a herd of cattle reacting to the sound of a shotgun, you’re off.

The event consisted of running 3 laps, which is the equivalent of 1km.

You then go through the entrance in the central area and run a few more metres to the first point, where you perform the first exercise.

Once completed, you run to the exit, and back out of the central area to run another 1km before heading back in again for exercise two. This process is repeated a further six times, leading ultimately to the 100 wall ball squats and eventually the finish line (and

HYROX

On Wednesday, the 25th of March, my daughter, Maisy and I participated at the Hyrox London as a mixed doubles pair (just a week after I’d been laid up for 13 days with Covid/flu and with only four training sessions under my belt).

For anyone unfamiliar with Hyrox, the best way I can describe it is that it’s like a super-intense circuit training session at the gym but with the dial turned up to 11.

You start in a tunnel (9.00pm was our time slot on this particular warm-ish

in total 11km of running, so Maisy informed me after).

During all of this, you have to stay together with your partner the entire time, and not be separated by more than a specified distance from each other (they monitor this with a GPS band around your ankles), otherwise you get penalised with time added to your finishing time. Also, if at any point an exercise isn’t performed correctly, you get a warning and are made to do it again, potentially with a time penalty, should you continue to do so, and if you incorrectly perform a changeover with your partner during the exercise, you can also incur further time penalties…so no pressure then!

We achieved a finishing time of 1hr 24 mins. Frustratingly though, we should have officially recorded 1hr 22 mins, had it not been for a lady and her partner cutting me up whilst on our final lap and somehow banging my arm so hard that my Apple Watch went flying out of its strap, and two minutes were wasted trying to find it before carrying on.

However, even with the watch incident, our efforts didn’t go to waste. We had managed to slash roughly twenty minutes off Maisy’s previous time of 1hr 45 when she had participated at the Hyrox Barcelona with a colleague from work a little while back. We also knocked time off

from her participation at the Hyrox Madrid where she had entered as a solo athlete. Finally, for the record, we didn’t incur any time penalties either.

Overall, it was a brilliant experience, especially on a personal level for me, coming up to 50 years old this year and having the opportunity to do this with my daughter, giving me memories I shall treasure for a long time.

Maisy has now asked me whether I would enter again, possibly at the Hyrox Lisbon next year…I replied, “If it includes a holiday, then count me in.”

Till next time The Polak xx

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THE OVERtheEDGE Big Interview

Jasmin chats with former Scotland International and Premier League Goalkeeper – Bryan Gunn Square721 Cn BT 143pt

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Very few people in football have experienced the game quite like Bryan Gunn. From his early days learning under Sir Alex Ferguson at Aberdeen to a long career between the sticks and beyond, Gunn has seen it all. Jasmin sat down with the former goalkeeper to talk about defining moments, dressing room stories, and what it really takes to make it in the game.

that incredible European run culminating in the victory over Bayern Munich in Germany.

What was that night like from inside the dressing room?

Jasmin: You began your professional career at Aberdeen under Sir Alex Ferguson. What was it like learning your trade under such an iconic manager?

Bryan: I first met Alex Ferguson (as he was then) in 1978 when I went on my first trial at Aberdeen. His scouts recommended that he sign me straight away, which he did. From there, I was lucky to be involved in the most successful Aberdeen team in history. We won many honours, including the Scottish Cup, League Cups and the amazing win against Real Madrid in the 1983 European Cup Winners Cup final.

He was certainly a hard task master but one who also rewarded success. He always looked after me, eventually helping with my move to Norwich City in 1986.

Jasmin: If you could relive one moment from your career exactly as it happened, which would it be?

Bryan: It would have to be my save in the Olympic Stadium in Munich on Tuesday 19th October 1993, at approximately 9.30pm from Aldofo Valencia (I saved it with my goolies) to keep our lead intact.

Jasmin: When you think back to your playing days, which striker gave you the most headaches?

Bryan: I’d have to say Gary Lineker. He always scored against us, even in John O’Neil’s testimonial match.

Jasmin: You had to wait patiently for your chance at Aberdeen before eventually moving to Norwich City in 1986 to replace Chris Woods. What was that move like, and how did you find life in East Anglia when you first arrived?

Bryan: The move came at the right time for me and my career – I needed to play more regular football instead of a few games a season. The move didn’t come without setbacks as Jim Leighton got injured in the 1st game of the season, meaning I had to stay at Pittodrie until October. When I finally arrived in Norwich, the club had started the season well, sitting at the top of the league, so I had to be patient once again until my chance finally came in November after Graham Benstead got injured at Anfield. I made my league debut against Spurs at home on November 8th in a 2-1 victory. Moving to Norwich was a big thing for me at the time, but the team helped me settle in quickly especially my eventual best man, David Hodgson. Life in Norwich started well as we finished the season in 5th position in the then Division 1 – Norwich City’s highest ever league finish at the time.

Bryan: I can say the night in the dressing was really special – right from the start when Chris Sutton and our kit-man Jock Robertson had a falling out. Jock loved the kit; he treated it like he’d gone out and bought it himself, and for the Bayern game, he’d laid it out beautifully. Everything was perfect – it was his biggest ever game as well! Then “Sutty” comes in, and it all goes off. Chris said he wouldn’t have gone to this much trouble for a match against The Dog and Duck (for your local Sunday football team) and began tossing kit onto the floor. The pair then started wrestling, and I think Jock even threw a few punches before they were prised apart. It was unbelievable, but in a daft way it relaxed us before the biggest game of all our careers.

Jasmin: And finally….be honest, which team did you love beating the most?

Bryan: I loved beating Manchester United (and saving penalties against them) in the early years until they finally started beating us in 1992/93 to win the first ever Premiership season.

Jasmin: Thank you so much Bryan. I’ve really enjoyed talking to you about your career and hearing about your football journey.

Jasmin’s interview with Bryan Gunn first appeared in OTE Norwich.

Jasmin: One of the most famous moments in Norwich City’s history was Page 26

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Goal Celebrations – When Did It Turn Into WWE?

Maybe it’s just me getting older, but when did football goal celebrations turn into full-blown WWE entrances?

Every time a Premier League player scores these days, there seems to be a carefully rehearsed routine ready to go. Covering faces, elaborate hand signs, cryptic gestures; half the time, I feel like I need a translator just to understand what’s going on. It’s less “great goal” and more “look at my personal brand.”

Now, I get it. Football isn’t just football anymore; it’s social media, marketing and global audiences. Players are brands, and who doesn’t want a recognisable trademark? The kids love it. There’ll be millions of them in the playground the next morning, trying to copy the latest celebration. Fair enough.

There’s something refreshing about that simplicity. The focus was always on the goal, not the performance that followed it.

So yes, maybe I am a grumpy old man these days. But if you ask me, one arm in the air beats a full dance routine every time.

Harlan Coben on Netflix – Addictive Nonsense (and I Love It) Like most people, I recently found myself stuck in that familiar Netflix loop; scrolling endlessly, convinced there must be something to watch, yet somehow finding absolutely nothing. Then, out of desperation more than anything, I put on one of the Harlan Coben series. I think it was Fool Me Once with Michelle Keegan.

And I have to say I was completely hooked.

Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the simpler days. Black boots. Muddy pitches.

Proper tackles. And goal celebrations that didn’t require choreography or a rehearsal.

Now, let’s be honest. The storytelling is… questionable. At times it’s a bit far-fetched, occasionally bordering on ridiculous. You find yourself thinking, “That would never happen,” more than once. But somehow, it doesn’t matter.

Because what these shows do brilliantly is keep you watching. Every episode is packed with plot twists, unexpected turns, and, crucially, that dreaded cliffhanger at the end. And if your brain works anything like mine, you simply can’t leave it there.

You have to know what happens next.

Take Alan Shearer. Ball hits the net, arm goes up, job done. Maybe a little sprint along the touchline if he was feeling particularly lively. No fuss, no drama, just straight back to the centre circle to get on with it.

Before you know it, one episode turns into three, then five, then suddenly it’s midnight on a Sunday and you’ve achieved absolutely nothing all day. I ended up watching the entire series in about three days. Productivity? Gone.

But for me, it all feels a bit… forced. A bit too polished. A bit too Americanised.

Give it a few years, and we’ll have four quarters, time-outs, and a Super Bowlstyle half-time show sponsored by a fizzy drink. All building up to the big moment, not the goal itself, but the celebration afterwards.

Sleep? Questionable. Enjoyment? Very high.

Naturally, I then moved on to another one, Stay Close, and it followed exactly the same formula. Slightly dodgy storyline, plenty of drama, lots of twists, and enough cliffhangers to keep you firmly glued to the sofa.

They’re not high art, and they’re not trying to be. But they are incredibly watchable. So if, like me, you find yourself endlessly browsing Netflix and getting nowhere, give one a go. Just don’t expect to get anything else done for the next few days.

Fury vs Joshua – Finally?

BILLY HINKEN

It feels like we’ve been talking about Tyson Fury vs Anthony Joshua for the best part of a decade. Every year it’s “nearly there,” “close to being signed,” or “just ironing out the final details” and then, somehow, it falls apart. But this time… it actually feels like it might happen.

on the line here, but honestly, that almost doesn’t matter. This is about legacy, pride, and let’s not kid ourselves, a huge payday. It’s the biggest fight that can be made in British boxing, and it would draw enormous crowds and viewing figures around the world.

Both fighters are probably just past their absolute peak, which is a shame in one sense. A few years ago, this would have been the undisputed clash of the era.

That said, there’s still more than enough intrigue and more than enough power for it to be a massive event.

If it does go ahead, and hopefully it does, given everything Joshua has been dealing with personally, I think Fury just edges it. Joshua has the power to change any fight in a second, but Fury’s ring craft, movement, and sheer awkwardness make him a nightmare for anyone.

Fury, despite his various “retirements” (I’ve genuinely lost count), still looked pretty sharp in his recent outing after a long layoff. Joshua, on his day, is still a serious operator, an Olympic gold medallist who can box as well as he can bang.

And here’s the slightly controversial bit: I wouldn’t completely write Fury off against Usyk in a future rematch either.

He’s already lost twice, yes, but both were competitive, and if he comes in better prepared, who knows?

Of course, both men have one thing in common: they’ve been well beaten by Oleksandr Usyk. So, the belts might not be

First things first though, let’s just get Fury vs Joshua signed. It’s only been ten years in the making.

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Page 27

OVERtheLINE LOCAL SPORT UPDATES

helping to streamline the process and enhance the overall fan experience.

CHELMSFORD CITY FC

The 1876 Gate Opens at the Ambassador Cruise Line Ground

These developments mark another important step in the club’s ongoing growth and ambition.

At the first home match of the season, Essex Cricket unveiled a brand-new gate named the ‘1876 Gate’.

The gate will serve as a direct link between Central Park and the Ambassador Cruise Line Ground via Century Tower, offering easier access to the ground from Meteor Way and Chelmsford Railway Station.

As the 2025/26 season draws to a close, preparations for the 2026/27 campaign are already well underway.

We have recently unveiled our brandnew kits for next season, featuring an all-white home strip that pays tribute to the club’s heritage, alongside a bold purple away kit that reflects our forward-thinking ambitions. For the first time, both our men’s and women’s teams will wear the same kits, a significant step forward that reinforces our identity as one club, united under the message: Many Minds, One Heart, One Club.

Season tickets are now on sale, with renewal and early bird windows currently available for existing supporters. This phased approach ensures loyal fans are rewarded while building momentum ahead of the new campaign.

As part of our continued progression towards football league standards, both on and off the pitch, we have also introduced a new digital ticketing system. Supporters will now be required to create an online account in order to purchase matchday and season tickets,

ESSEX CRICKET

The Essex Edge Podcast

Essex Cricket launched a brand-new podcast called ‘The Essex Edge’, which showcases the love for cricket through multiple guests, discussions and debates, expert analysis and unique perspectives.

The first episode welcomed Robert Rollins, who spoke about his life after professional cricket and shared insights into what it was like to play alongside Essex legends. Episode two featured John Lever MBE and Graham Gooch OBE, two of the most highly regarded players in England and Essex. All episodes are available on Spotify and iTunes, as well as on YouTube.

Barry Hearn OBE Awarded Honorary Life Membership Founder and President of Matchroom Sport and cricket fanatic Barry Hearn OBE has been awarded an Honorary Life Membership with Essex County Cricket Club.

Growing up in the heart of East London, Hearn watched Essex play at the iconic Leyton Cricket Ground while supporting the neighbouring football club Leyton Orient FC, which he later purchased.

Hearn has also represented Essex senior sides, including the Essex Over-70s.

“Throughout my childhood and into my adulthood, cricket has been a major part of my sporting activities and remains a sport I am determined to play during the rest of my lifetime on this earth.

Hopefully, there are many more seasons to enjoy.”

Essex Cricket President, John Lever MBE added: “My various contacts with Barry had made me very aware of his passionate support for Essex County Cricket Club. His love for the game shone through when he described to me his thrill on scoring his first hundred at the young age of 65.

“But the man is more than a one sport fan, his efforts with ‘The Orient’, snooker, and darts have put him high on our champions of sport benefactors.

So, I was more than happy to be asked to present ‘Bazza’, on behalf of Essex Cricket, with an Honorary Life Membership to the Club. Thanks, Barry, and keep playing.”

Ravi Bopara Shortlisted for T20 Hall of Fame Essex legend Ravi Bopara has been selected in the 12-player shortlist for the England & Wales Cricket Board T20 Hall of Fame. 2019 Blast winner with Essex, Bopara has played the second most domestic T20 matches (236) and is one of only two players to feature inside the all-time top 10 for both wickettakers and run-scorers in the men’s competition. He also has the third most runs in the men’s competition (5,290) at an average of 29.1, and the eighth most wickets at an average of 26.3.

This is one of many celebrations taking place in 2026 to mark the Club’s 150th anniversary, and was kindly sponsored

by Woodland Group.

SPRINGFIELD STRIDERS

Come along to the Springfield Striders annual Introduction to Running Course

A 10-week Thursday evening course taking you from beginner runner through to successfully completing a 5K. Suitable for any runner: complete beginner, some previous experience or former runners wanting to return to running.

Starting: Thursday 7th May at 7:00pm Location: Springfield Cricket Club, Timpsons Lane, Chelmsford CM2 6AG No need to book in advance, just turn up on the day to register.

A modest £10.00 fee (cash) is charged.

Refunded if you subsequently join Springfield Striders on completion of the course.

Any queries: Contact Malcolm Potter at malc.potter@outlook.com

On receiving his Life Membership, Barry Hearn said: “As a lifetime supporter and player of the great game of cricket, I am delighted to be awarded Honorary Life Membership with Essex County Cricket Club.

Page 28

Over the Edge 07803 422808

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dragons, caused by a lie, two comedy in it too and it made me It is a Belfast based police AAs strange one I came across, charming, stylishEdge, and anchored to change their ways. Does it youthat might have read edition of The me and think about other TV trivia game drama is set after thein the last Targaryens siblings lead two normalise harsh discipline? You by Winkleman’s trademark dry that had been adverti sed a lot, the Mrs changed ourhad tv package from Virgin Media to Now TV. The shows.

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Page Page1929

h c a e R l a b lo G e g Over the Ed

Hold my Beer

From Mexico City to The White Hart in Little Waltham, to the far side of the moon, Over the Edge is on everyone’s mind.

ESSEX FREEMASONS Proud sponsors of Unsung Hero Award The Awards honour exceptional people from all walks of life, including those who have demonstrated outstanding courage, tireless dedication to their communities, or acts of extraordinary kindness.

Whether it’s a selfless neighbour, a hardworking community volunteer, a young person overcoming adversity or a hidden hero quietly improving lives, the Pride of Essex Awards want to hear their stories.

Over the Edge readers, please note: Nominations are open at https:// poeawards.org/ and close on 14th August. The awards will be announced at a prestigious ceremony on 6th October at Anglia Ruskin University in Chelmsford.

This year’s categories are: • Star of Essex: Acknowledging a lifetime of service and dedication.

• Community Champion: Celebrating individuals making a difference.

Pride of Essex Awards 2026 Seeks the Inspiring Inspiring individuals and groups whose remarkable achievements and heart-warming stories make the county exceptional could shine in the Pride of Essex Awards 2026 as nominations open.

Celebrating its 31st year, the Pride of Essex Awards, again sponsored by Chelmsford Star, part of OurCoop, continues to shine a spotlight on those who go above and beyond to make communities stronger, kinder, and more vibrant.

Page 30

• Unsung hero: For exceptional service and care in the community.

• Team of Pride: Recognising team acts of achievement and kindness.

• Inspirational Youth: Honouring incredible contributions of the young.

There is also a Judges’ Choice for an outstanding individual or group.

CHELMSFORD’S

Photo 1 - It’s our prickly little friend Edge Hog in Mexico City, being manhandled by the lovely señorita Ariana, why and precisely where we do not know. We wonder where he will turn up next!

Photo 2 – Meanwhile, up at Deaks’ local, The White Hart in Little Waltham, we have Nick, such a lovely man, catching up on all the news in his favourite local magazine.

Photo 3 – Not just Global Reach, your favourite free magazine is now reaching out across the solar system.

Our advertisers might want to consider the potential uptick in business now that we’re reaching a galactic audience.Here we see the crew of Artemis II reading a copy of the magazine before jettisoning a few copies onto the lunar surface for future visitors. Speaking about the mission and OTE’s aspirations to conquer the Universe, Reid Wiseman (Commander) said, “We’re not just going to the Moon—we’re preparing to go much further. This is humanity’s next step.”

Yes folks, Over the Edge is truly ‘out of this world’.

2018 and ultimate demolition in 2021 it had been known as The Admiral J McHardy.

Sadly, despite thriving for many decades as a cherished community pub, generating countless fond memories for its regulars, the Alma went the way of so many old pubs. Its loss followed the familiar story of the joint effects of changing social habits, rising costs and tight margins, competition from supermarket

alcohol pricing and the COVID-19 aftershock. Furthermore, like so many struggling pubs, The Alma sat on a valuable site where more money can be made by selling to developers than continuing to operate as a pub.

Let us have your suggestions for next month’s Lost Inn Time.

Which historic hostelries haunt you? wontpassthiswayagain@gmail.com

GHOST PUBS

The Alma

For this month’s pint of nostalgia, we’ll take a stroll up Springfield Road before turning left into Arbour Lane where, at no 37, we’ll find The Alma.

The pub originally opened in 1861, but latterly, prior to its closure in Over the Edge 07803 422808

are we now facing a backward step? The office community have always been quite precious about who they sit with and it seems that more and more companies are bringing back offices, which I do not agree with – this is a movement away from collaboration in the workplace.

Good day everyone and thanks for reading my column this month.

Firstly, I would like to say congrats to Deaks for all of the great work over the last 3 months, pulling together some amazing features. This month’s interview with the legendary Joe Cole on page 26 is amazing. What a sublime piece of fortune, to be able to interview such a star of WHUFC.

The office environment is a simple one but complicated by so many people having a different view, which is good, but as a Designer, it can be frustrating.

Of course, nobody wants to be told what to do or to be dictated to, but imagine if we had spaces which were so disjointed that an eclectic felt dizzy!

Office environments are certainly becoming more ‘homely’ and comfortable. The placement of Boxed-In elegant leather sofas, comfy armchairs I suppose all of my columns to date and footstools etc help this along. are focussed on the new norm since However, the introduction of PODs, the pandemic. More and more people if used as they should, and NOT are working from home with ‘Agile’ as makeshift individual offices will and ‘Hybrid’ solutions popping up certainly work and adds further everywhere. interest. If the whole community could see these as another space Interestingly, over the last 5 years, to enjoy when they want to ‘focus’ or furniture manufacturers have really Call 01245 478111 07710 358347 take some time to work remotely it pushed the concept of smaller VisitPODs lkgdaughers.co.uk would be great. Last month, I spoke individual onto the design about having our place of work for industry for placement into commercial everyone, not7SY just the chosen few and space.

On the flip-side, as Designers, West Hanningfield Road, Great Baddow, Chelmsford, Essex, CM2 the introduction of PODs means that we have spent 20 years working towards a more collaborative ‘Open anyone could have their ‘15 minutes’.

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are downright ugly. What are the criteria for having the right POD? For those of you that are not familiar, I have shown an image of something which we are installing into our projects currently.

Many designers in the industry will take Style over Substance, but there is a balance, each requiring compromise.

offices and were being allocated a desk in the open plan with their teams.

One of my rebellious customers showed great creativity to build his own pre-millennium POD using cardboard.

So, on the Monday morning after the move into the new facility, there he was with 2m high cardboard walls surrounding his desk, he had even constructed a cardboard roof with a sliding cardboard door which he taped shut! I think if we had smartphones back then, it would have gone viral – it FUSEBOARD CHANGES OR UPGRADES was amazing!

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31 Over the Edge 07803Page 422808

OONNLLYY JJOOKKIINNGG!!

I told my doctor I wanted to live to 100. He asked, “Do you drink, smoke or stay up late?” I said, “No, I’ve never touched a drop, I don’t smoke, and I’m in bed by 9pm”.

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my Hecustomers looked at me and asked, on earth do you whether they“Then wouldwhy prefer ‘smoking’ or want to live to one hundred?” ‘non-smoking’. Apparently, the correct terms are

or burial.

I’vecremation had the same recurring dream every night since Thursday. I’m a horse just running around. That’s three Husband: “When I get cross with you, you never argue nights on the trot. back. How do you control your anger?”

Wife: “ICatholic clean the toilet.”

A Roman priest is on his way to Rome when he Husband: “How does that help?” runs into an old childhood friend.

Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”

“My goodness, Mary!

How have you been?” He says.

“Oh, I could be better”, she says, “My husband and I A copper pulled for speeding said to have been trying to me haveover children for fifteenand years with “If you can give me a reasonable excuse I’ve nome, luck”. never heardsays before, l’ll let “I’m you go.”

“I’m so sorry”, the priest, on a pilgrimage to I said, “Several years ago, mytohusband ran off Rome.

I tell you what, I promise light a candle forwith you his secretary.

I thought you were trying to bring him in the great Basilica”. back to me.”

Mary thanks him, and after chatting a little longer, they The copper replied. “Just slow down a bit and have a part ways. nice day madam.”

Five years later, the priest is at home when there is a knock at his door. He opens it, and to his surprise, it’s Before my Grandfather died, he told me that he got Mary. to see the Titanic and that from the very beginning, “I’m so glad I found you in!” she exclaims, “Do you he told them the passengers shouldn’t get on board remember that candle you lit for me, years ago? Well, because he knew it was going to sink. But nobody my husband and I now have two sets of twins and a listened, and he repeatedly told them right up to the set of triplets, and I just found out I’m pregnant with minute they kicked him out of the cinema. quadruplets”.

She then hands the just priest anarrested all-expenses-paid to My local barber got for sellingticket drugs.

Rome.

I’ve been his customer for 6 years, and I had no idea “Oh, says the priest, “Your joy is my joy. You didn’t heMary”, was a barber. need to give me a thank-you gift”.

“Oh no, it’s not his a thank you”, Mary, you can A man takes dog to thesays circus and“It’s tellsso the blow out that that bloody ringmaster hiscandle!” dog can speak English and that he

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man has AAyoung boy been walks shot into starting pistol awith stripaclub, and later and thenfinds beaten with his mom out, and a relay Police she says,baton.

“Did you see believe it may be a anything you weren’t race-related attack. supposed to see?”

The boy says, “Yeah, I saw Dad!” My therapist said I Ishould was in get the an pubemotional last night,support and thisanimal. girl saidSo, to me, l got “Would youDeep like afried. drink?”

I said,with “You’re a bit forward a chicken.

It came a chocolate aren’t you?”I feel better already. milkshake.

She said, “I’m the barmaid”.

I was getting out of the shower when my girlfriend Issaid, anyone else like this?fat, Getsjust in Uber.

Driver: “You’re getting look Uber at that belly.“Hi”.

When Me. was“Hi”. the last time you saw your pecker?” I replied, Rides in complete minutes.

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Rates 5 Stars and tips. was at amy funeral I asked the vicar son, for IIentered son’s yesterday room and when declared, “Remember, the WiFi code and he shouted, “Please, have some masturbating can make you go blind.” respect for the deceased,” and I replied, “Is that all in “I’m over here, Dad”, he replied. lower case, vicar?”

My wife says she is divorcing me because of my obsession If you are attracted to both women and men, but with television soap operas. neither of really themleave are attracted to you, that means you But will she me? are bi-yourself.

Find out next week, doof-doof-doof. wife the Amazon driver to have IIfitold guremy that a shark can swim fasterclaims than me and Islept can with everythan woman run faster a shark. in except So,our in astreet triathlon against one!

My itwife said, a shark, would all“It’s probably thattostuck-up come down who is bitch at No.14.” the bett er cyclist.

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should be in the circus. The ringmaster says, “That’s A teacher tells her class that she is a proud American and rubbish. Prove it.” asks them to raise their hands if they are American too. All The man says, “Ok, I will’ and he asks his dog three of their hands explode into the air except one little girl. questions: The teacher asks her why she decided to be different.

“What is on top of a house?”

“Because I’m not an American”, the little girl replies.

The dog replies, “Roof”

“But you were born here”, states her teacher, “What nationality are you?”

“Good boy!”Canadian”, and then “I’m a proud he asks, boasts the little girl.

“What is the opposite The teacher asks the little of smooth?” girl why she thinks she is a Dog replies, “Rough” Canadian.

“That’s boy!” the are “Well, mymy Mum & Dad guy says and pats him Canadian, so I’m Canadian on the head. too”.

“Who was the The teacher says,best “That’s Scotland no reason.goalkeeper What if yourof all time?”

Mum was a moron and “Rough” barks the dog. your Dad was a moron?

The ringmaster says, What would you be “Get out of here and then?” stop wasting my time!”

“Oh, then I’d be an and pushes them out American”, replies the of his office and slams little girl. the door. to IWhilst boughtwalking myself aback senior’s the car, looks GPS. Notthe onlydog does it up me at his master tell how to getand to my says,nati “Doon, you thinkme I desti it tells should have said Jim why I wanted to go there Leighton?” in the first place.

told medied, I would AThey husband and be anylater goodthe at anever few years poetry because of she my wife died.

When dyslexia.

They can gosaw do got to heaven, she one.husband So far, I’veand made her ranfive jugstoand up hima vase! with tears in her eyes. “Darling, When oh howLord I’veNelson misseddied, he was justsays.

5 feet tall. you,” she The His statueextends in Trafalgar husband his Squarestopping is 15 feether tall. arms, That’sembracing Horatio of him, 3:1. from “Steady there woman, Gentlemen, youruntil salary the contractifwas is £60k pa and your wife’s death.” salary is £40k pa, the total household income When I was born, I is £60k pa, not pa. was so ugly the£100k doctor If you understand this slapped my mother. simple calculation, you Can someone will always haveplease peace in tell what LGBTQ+ yourme home. stands for?

Nobody giving me a I just hadismy patience straight tested. answer.

It came back as negative.

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I just found out that I’m colour blind.

I must the say, lass the diagnosis came right out of the purple.

I asked at the chemist if they’d got any Benylin.

Three things in life require witnesses: “For cough?” she said.

Crimes I said, “Whoa, I only asked.”

Accidents Marriages - I’llone justwho leavebuys thatawith you!

Am I the only dozen reusable

supermarket shopping bags and leaves them in the Why do the French eat snails? car every single time? Nope, I thought not.

They don’t like fast food.

My wife asked me, “What midget would be femalefrom Breaking news.

A psychic hasthe escaped equivalent prison. of a man cave?”

I said to her, “That wouldatbelarge. a kitchen.”

There’s a small medium By the way, does anyone have a place I can stay for a few nights? condoms no longer guarantee safe sex.

Apparently, My mate Brian was wearing one last week when he was Ashot wife’s by prayer; the woman’s husband.

Dear God You me a childhood...

I’mgave very annoyed.

About a month ago, I sent my hearing You away... aid took in foritrepair.

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I replied, “I didn’t even played cricket”.

The came to women my house and said, “It looks Do police you know that calltoday me ugly? like yourunti husband has been by amoney bus.” I’ve got.

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Mylocal fathercoffee used to puthas me inside tyres and“No roll me down My shop a sign car that reads, the hill.

Wi-Fi, just pretend it’s 1973.”

Those were Years! and lit up a cigarette.

So, I paid 15pthe forGood my coffee Do you know, I’ve never once had a splinter.

Touch wood!

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Readers can take comfort in the knowledge that all of our jokes retire to the care of the OvertheEdge Old Jokes Home.

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Unfinished Business And Finally For those who have been reading and following this column over the last few months, many of you will have now realised that my father was never able to reclaim those lost diamonds. Unable to return to Poland and deciding to leave Italy, he, alongside many other Poles, travelled to Nice, where they joined the Polish Army that was being formed in France, and fought and retreated alongside the British Expeditionary Force in the western campaign of May 1940. Like the British Army at Dunkirk, these Polish troops were evacuated during June 1940 to the United Kingdom, and were subsequently formed into the Polish Ist Corps, and stationed in Scotland. In 1944, alongside British, Canadian and US troops, he, with many other Polish soldiers, returned to mainland Europe where they played an important role in the liberation of France.

So, what happened to those various ‘Gentlemen from New York’? Despite Italy being neutral at the time, the four ‘Gentlemen’ travelled from Trieste in Italy to Lisbon, the Portuguese Capital.

Portugal, like its neighbour Spain, was a neutral country, but both countries had excellent and varied links to not only North Africa but also to the US, various South American countries, and Cuba. Unlike Spain, Portugal in 1939 had no close associations with Germany, and indeed remained solidly neutral throughout the whole of WW2.

Danny ‘The Blade’ Cohen stayed on in Lisbon, where he became involved with the US State Department and met his future wife; a Bryn Mawr educated secretary attached to the US Embassy in Lisbon.

In an interesting turn of fate, he again encountered Major Walter Schellenberg, who on the 31st August 1939 had been the leader of the German delegation who, on that fateful day, took possession, and was subsequently robbed of the diamonds at the small Private Bank on the Via Roma in Trieste.

Almost a year later, Walter Schellenberg, who was now head of the Nazi Party Counter-Intelligence Service, was in Lisbon, supposedly awaiting the arrival of the Duke of Windsor. The Duke had abdicated the British Throne in 1936 in favour of his younger brother HRH George VI, the grandfather of our current monarch, Charles III, and had moved to France. In 1940, with the invasion of France imminent, Schellenberg’s proposal was to offer the Duke around 50 million Swiss Francs to entice the ex-King to move to neutral Switzerland. With the Duke declining the offer, a second plan codenamed ‘Operation Willi’ was put in place, with the aim of kidnapping both the Duke and his wife, the Duchess of Windsor, and forcibly moving them to Spain ‘for their own protection’.

The plan concocted by both the German Foreign Minister, Joachim von Ribbentrop, and Walter Schellenberg failed to get off the ground, as both the British Government and the British Intelligence Service quickly moved the Duke and Duchess of Windsor to the Bahamas.

According to Danny, whilst waiting for the Duke to arrive, and despite the subsequent failure of the plan, Walter Schellenberg had spent his days in Lisbon, visiting

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Old Grey Silver Surfer the tavernas, eating the local food, and enjoying the Fado music. He also spent much time down on the Lisbon docks, swapping stories in that neutral city with other members of the various European intelligence services, underpinning the belief that Lisbon was, in 1940, fast becoming the ‘City of spies’. Walter Schellenberg was arrested in 1945 and stood trial at Nuremberg, and was sentenced to 6 years imprisonment, but was released after two, due to his failing health. He settled in Northern Italy on the shores of Lake Maggiore and died in 1952.

Danny’s three other companions returned to the US via Cuba and were arrested over the next few years by the federal authorities on a variety of charges. After serving their time, the three moved west, where they became involved in developing the entertainment and real estate industry in the growing city of Las Vegas.

The various histories of the many other so-called New York mob bosses are well known and have been extensively documented. Benjamin ‘Bugsy’ Siegel, who had many forays into pre-war Italy to arrange the sale of explosives to Mussolini’s government, was, in the early post-war years, heavily involved in developing the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. He was shot and killed at his home in Beverly Hills in 1947; the reasons remain obscure, and the culprit has never been identified.

Salvatore Luciano, aka Charles ‘Lucky’ Luciano, the ‘Capo di tutti i Capi’, had been arrested in 1936 and tried on a variety of counts, including racketeering, prostitution and tax evasion, and sentenced to 30-50 years. Despite his incarceration, he continued to run his criminal empire from prison via his so-called Consigliere Frank Costello, who, it was said, was the model for Vito Corleone in the film ‘The Godfather’. Because of his co-operation with the Office of Naval Intelligence and his involvement in ‘Operation Underworld’, which involved protecting the docks along the US North-eastern Seaboard, Luciano had his sentence commuted and was subsequently deported to Italy in 1947, ultimately dying of a heart attack some 15 years later.

The enigmatic ‘Cousin Wulf’ joined the United States Army Air Force (USAAF) in 1941, training as a navigator, and subsequently served in the US Eighth Air Force in the European theatre of war. He left the USAAF in 1946 and, under the GI Bill of Rights, trained as a Doctor and practised for many years as an Orthopaedic Surgeon in New York.

So, what happened to the stolen diamonds? Who knows, they were likely transported to the US via Cuba, and possibly used to finance the building of hotels and casinos in Las Vegas, but I guess we’ll never know.

Page 33

if you must ask. As the famous quote says, “the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there”. Like many things mums do for teenagers, the motive was good and loving, a treat for their son or daughter, but poorly and ungratefully received. In fact, there was also a risk of severe embarrassment if you happened to be at home with friends when Mum delivered the goods. The shame was unbearable.

offs. Now that’s what I call……

Dance/summer of 93/4/5 etc /Christmas/ Britain/Chill/Musicals/Disney/30 Years/Music USA/Feel good/Rock/21st Century/Running/ Drive/Club hits/Legends/A singer/Classical/ reggae/Old skool/Footie anthems blah blah blah and so it goes on.

The Edge 320 new_The Edge 172.qxd 17/02/2025 18:46 Page 29

am h p la C e th n o n a ‘M Omnibus........still’

Now that’s…..

For those of a certain age or disposition, you would by now have taken a decent bet on the content of this article. You will have guessed correctly, Now that’s what I call a tweed jacket 1, is where we are headed. Ah, only kidding, although it could be a goer!

Now that’s what I call music is a music phenomenon that started life back in 1983.

Up to that point, the whole compilation album scene had initially been started by Woolworths (younger readers, there are going to be a few look-ups in this article, so get Googling) and their really nasty “Top of the Pops” series.

These were the sort of things your mum came home with after going into ‘Woolies’ to buy a tub of ant killer and a yard of knicker elastic.

These albums were released very quickly and often had a selection of the current top twenty songs. So far so good, but there was a catch: they were covers. Some were ok ish, but most were really bad covers of chart hits. These albums were cheap, and to try to polish this particular turd, some glitter would be added.

This ‘glitter’, like many things in the 1970’s, was a picture of a scantily clad woman on the cover. Yes, snowflakes, this really happened, even cans of lager had pictures of scantily clad women on them, Tennent’s from Scotland Page 34

The challenge to the TOTP’s nasties came in the early 1970’s from a couple of spivvy record labels called K-Tel and RONCO. They were also famous for wizard gift ideas like a device that equipped you to manufacture drinking glasses from empty wine bottles (true), home haircut combs (true) and the famous walrus polisher, but I might have made that last one up. These companies had really manic TV adverts that blitzed the airwaves, and the albums always had straightforward titles, Disco Daze, Star Tracks, Disco Nites etc etc.

Basically, anything you think can stick Now on the front of, and find 30 or 40 loosely related tracks, you are good to go. I am still waiting for the 1970s-based “Now that’s what I call a pervert”. It will have all the tracks you can’t play publicly anymore because of the artists’ past scandals. Another classic could be “Now that’s what I call bullshit” 40 top political promises for you to laugh along to.

It has been a global phenomenon too, not just here in dear ol’ UK. At least 25 other countries have run the Now formats over the years, we are the only ones still going though, and 1 in 4 UK homes own a Now disc of some kind. But here’s a secret: if you are sitting on Now 4 with a particular cover picture and markings, then you are in luck, eBay can offer you one for an eye-watering £1,200! Now that’s what I call sodding mind-blowing! It was the first Now released on CD, and only 500 were pressed; perhaps they thought CDs wouldn’t catch on!

Then in 1983, along came “Now that’s what I call music” and it wasn’t called Now blah blah 1, just Now that’s what I call music. Times had slowly started to move on by the early 1980’s (only started, I stress), and the scantily clad ladies had started to disappear; the covers had more original and related artwork on them.

This original album found its place, went to number one in the charts and sold 1.1 million I am going to have to have a look in the CD copies. As a product, they offered good value, section of the collection for that Now 4. On two vinyl records/CD’s/cassettes in each issue. the subject of collecting, I was trying to contact There was a slight catch, although they gave a George Michael in a séance. He came through, good reflection of the current charts of the last and I told him via the medium that, “I was a few months, the first disc 1 was always much big fan and I’ve got every one of your albums much stronger in its content than disc 2. Disc except the first one.” He did respond, the 2 was ok and offered lower-tier music that was message was …….”I find your lack of ‘Faith’ at the bottom end of the charts, the sort of disturbing”. disc that only got played in the car CD on a long journey because you had maxed disc 1 several Now that’s what I call a18:46 crappy joke, contained The Edge 320 new_The Edge 172.qxd 17/02/2025 Page 29 times over. within Now that’s what I call a half decent article 1.

The covers were luxurious and well-presented compared to the other bland, low-cost covers Yours aye, of the newly Johnny come lately competitors.

The title name Now etc etc was inspired by a poster from the 1930’s with artwork from Eric Olthwaite (before his infamous bank robber career in the 1940’s) that advertised Danish bacon and was a pig listening to a chicken, mischievously adopted by the creators.

The genre really grabbed the public’s attention, and of course, the music industry took that affection to its heart and wallet. To date, there are currently over 250 different variations of the Now format.

A few basic facts: out of those 250 variations, there have been 534 albums, 11,585 Now tracks involving 5,004 artists. Our own Elton John is the most featured artist with 65 appearances! Outside of the sequentially numbered versions, there have been spinOver the Edge 07803 422808

Mono no Aware — The Transience of Beautiful Things Rejoice—you come again, and fresh joys bring; The light returns to lengthen days apace; It stirs the march of March, the greening King, And lifts our spirits as we glimpse your face.

See blackthorn billow, clouds of blossom white, And bluebells rise in violet clusters fair; The hedgerows flush with colour, life, and light, And larks once more sing high in warming air.

Yet as we come to savour all your grace, We sense how swift your precious days take wing; We long to pause, to linger in this place, And vainly would arrest the clock’s own spring.

For like a child who grows before we know, You’ve passed—though May may tell us it is so.

Dalston Whitbread

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Page 35

Thrash (Netflix)

Sony must be laughing all the way to the bank, wondering how they sold this turkey to Netflix.

As part of an exclusive “first look” deal that Sony Pictures has with the streaming giant, it can sell a film to them for an undisclosed fee rather than putting it out in cinemas, where it risks losing money. And somehow, they have managed to flog Netflix this damp squib of a disaster movie that sinks like a stone.

A hurricane hits a coastal town, and the ensuing flood brings some hungry bull sharks with it, who start chowing down on the local residents. It’s basically the same plot as the 2019 film Crawl, only that had alligators instead of sharks—and is actually good. Whereas that film successfully combined suspense with cheesy horror, knowing it was inherently silly, Thrash takes itself far too seriously, whilst being seriously stupid.

After a fast-moving opening building towards the storm hitting the town, the movie grinds to a thundering halt, where a group of survivors— including a pregnant woman, an agoraphobe, and a group of teenagers—just sort of sit around. I nodded off several times as nothing seemed to be happening, and it felt painfully long despite being under 90 minutes.

Thrash finally starts to understand its assignment as a ludicrous B-movie when the pregnant woman pops out a baby in the stormy waters and defends her newborn by batting away a shark with a big stick—but it’s too little, too late. It’s an unfortunate title for this film, which gives a very obvious setup for a lame but well-deserved punchline. Thrash? …more like Trash. Du-dum!

Undertone (Cinema) A perk of working in a cinema is being able to stick a film on when no one else is around, to have a private screening. But when it’s late, the building is empty, and you are alone watching a horror film, it can be a real test of your resolve to see it through to the end without getting up and going “nope”!

Now, I don’t easily get spooked, but Undertone got under my skin and gave me the heebiejeebies—probably because this new chiller is all about sound. The tagline is “The scariest movie you’ll ever hear”. And in a big empty screen late at night, you start to hear all kinds of things that probably aren’t there.

The film stars relative newcomer Nina Kiri (The Page 36

Handmaid’s Tale) as podcaster Evy, who hosts The Undertone, a podcast about all things that go bump in the night. Evy receives a series of mysterious audio files from an anonymous source that seem to feature some haunted goings-on, specifically the continued use of children’s nursery rhymes that may or may not have subliminal messages in them when played backwards.

Meanwhile, Evy is also caring for her elderly mother, who currently lives in the house with her but is close to death’s door. As more audio files are played, Evy experiences increasingly strange events, particularly around her mother.

It’s a highly efficient and simple concept that uses sound and clever camera angles to create a deep sense of unease. You keep looking into the background, waiting for something to jump out at you.

As a low-budget, somewhat experimental horror, I highly recommend it. Perhaps best viewed at home with a great pair of headphones—you will never hear Baa Baa Black Sheep in the same way again.

AKIRA 4K Re-issue

(Cinema & Blu Ray / Digital) Kaneda!!!

Tetsuo!!!

If you have no idea what I’m saying, you likely haven’t seen Akira, the landmark animated movie based on a Japanese novel, or “manga,” of the same name. Truly groundbreaking, Akira uses astonishing handdrawn animation to create a futuristic Tokyo in which a gang of teenage bikers find themselves pulled into a dangerous military project that may destroy the city.

After an accident, rebellious teen Tetsuo is whisked away by the authoritarian military, who conduct experiments on him, turning him into a powerful telekinetic monster—forcing his friend Kaneda to try to stop him, where lots of shouting ensues.

There are so many iconic scenes in this film that it has inspired science fiction movies for decades.

From the opening bike chase through a neonsoaked future Tokyo to a nightmarish dream sequence with oversized toys, Akira never fails to astonish with its visual ingenuity. I’ve seen this many times on VHS back in the day, but never on the big screen, where it’s been reissued with a new 4K presentation. So, if you haven’t seen it, this is the way to go.

I must confess, I’ve never fully understood all of the story, and the ending remains frustratingly challenging to grasp. Clearly, the themes are related to Hiroshima and Nagasaki (a giant crater sits at the centre of the city caused by a nuclear explosion), and maybe it’s too entrenched in Japanese culture for Western audiences to fully grasp. But as a piece of historic filmmaking and a

benchmark in science fiction, Akira remains the daddy of Japanese animation.

Sirat (Blu Ray / Digital) Losing out at the Oscars to Sentimental Value (a film I found disappointingly dull, by the way) in the “Best International Feature Film” category, Sirat is a thrilling mysteryaction adventure that deserves more attention.

Unfortunately, the film had a very limited release in cinemas, so it wasn’t exactly easy to go and see it even if you wanted to. But its imminent home release (currently scheduled for the 25th of this month) means it will finally be available to a wider audience.

The premise is simple enough: a man and his son turn up at an illegal rave out in the Moroccan desert looking for his missing daughter. Unable to locate her, a group of ravers suggest she may be at another rave due to take place deeper in the desert—and so they team up in the hope of locating the girl. In the vein of films like The Wages of Fear and its excellent remake Sorcerer, we follow this rag-tag group driving their trucks and vans across treacherous terrain whilst an unnamed war breaks out around them.

In ancient Arabic, Sirat means a bridge between heaven and hell, one that is described as thinner than a hair and sharper than a sword—and the journey here takes its travellers through hell, keeping the viewer on an absolute knifeedge with a series of intense set pieces that will make you gasp in disbelief. With a banging soundtrack of heavy techno sub-bass and layers of existential dread running through it, Sirat is a near masterpiece that may frustrate some with its ambiguous ending—but is well worth the journey should you get on board.

Over the Edge 07803 422808

Spring has Sprung Time to get out and explore what’s happening in Chelmsford Artwork by JAG GILLAN www.jagart.co.uk

T

“After a

fallow year, Chelmsford’s Street Art Festival returns in 2026, bringing bold new energy back to the city’s streets, growing the Street Art Trail..

”

here’s something about this time of year that just feels like a reset, isn’t there? The light changes, the days stretch out a bit longer, a chance to get out and enjoy what’s around us.

May is a great month to do exactly that, especially with Concrete Canvas returning to the city. If you’ve not come across it yet, it’s Chelmsford’s growing street art festival, where walls, cabinets and corners of the city are transformed into bold, expressive pieces of public art. What I love about it is the accessibility, you don’t need to step into a gallery, the gallery comes to you.

You might turn a corner and suddenly be faced with something that stops you in your tracks. It’s that unexpected moment of connection that makes it special. Some of the murals are directly linked to local community groups, where their input has inspired the artist to create something that has a truly local connection.

Talking of galleries though, one space that continues to quietly build something really meaningful is the Artists at the Meadows. If you haven’t visited yet, it’s well worth your time, but in particular I want to highlight their Community Wall. Each month there’s a theme to work to, although generally the theme has a broad interpretation, and anyone can submit a piece of work in response. No barriers, just a simple invitation to take part.

www.chelmsfordforyou.co.uk/ concretecanvas

https://www.overtheedgemag.co.uk

For May, the theme is Identity. It’s a big one. It could be who you are, where

you come from, what you believe in, or even how you see yourself changing over time. It doesn’t have to be polished or perfect, in fact, it’s often the raw, honest pieces that resonate the most.

There’s something quite powerful about seeing lots of different interpretations of the same idea, all sitting side by side.

Looking ahead, June moves into Pride, which feels like a natural continuation; a celebration of identity, expression and belonging. Then in July, the focus shifts again to Climate, opening up conversations about the environment, responsibility, and the world we’re shaping for the future. Three very different themes, but all connected in their own way.

And that’s really the thread running through Chelmsford’s art scene at the moment - connection. Whether it’s large-scale murals appearing across the city during Concrete Canvas, or smaller, deeply personal pieces pinned to a community wall, it all adds up to something bigger.

As we move into the summer months, there’s plenty more on the horizon too; art trails, pop-ups, exhibitions - so it’s well worth keeping an eye out and getting involved where you can.

You never know, you might even feel inspired to put something on that wall yourself. For further details or to submit a piece of work email Jennifer on the following email; artistsathemeadows@gmail.com Have a great month, Alistair Gillan.

Page 37

soap opera where every episode ends with you staring at the telly thinking, surely it’s time for a season break!

A few weeks ago, I had never even heard of the Strait of Hormuz. Now, apparently, the entire world economy hinges on it—apart from Trump, who I’m fairly sure thinks it’s a new aftershave.

Gen X, they say, we age differently. We’re the “don’t give a toss” generation. We don’t go quietly into middle age—we kick the door open in a pair of Adidas Sambas, still dressed like it’s 1992, wondering why our knees sound like a bag of crisps when we stand up. We find humour in everything. We keep going. We don’t give up.

But I’ll be honest—even I’ve started to think… enough is enough!

I was listening to a podcast in the car the other day about Buddhist beliefs. It started off all calm—talking about peace, happiness, finding joy on Earth. Lovely. Very relaxing. And then, out of nowhere, it dropped in: “If you fail to learn your life lessons, you are reincarnated and must return to earth again and again until you do.”

Twice Round the World & To the Moon and Back!

It’s been a rollercoaster of a month—and not the fun kind you get at Adventure Island, more the sort where the safety bar doesn’t quite click and you just sit there thinking, well, this is how it ends.

We’ve watched Artemis II doing loop-the-loop around the moon with a $23 million toilet that blocked up and started releasing mysterious smells into the cabin. Twenty-three million dollars. For a loo. In space. That still can’t cope with a basic bodily function. A bit like travelling on a budget airline, I guess!

At the same time, we’ve had bombs, missiles, and aircraft carriers flying left, right and centre across the Middle East—flattening buildings and damaging UNESCO heritage sites that have stood for centuries—whilst the rest of us are trying to suck a McDonald’s milkshake through a paper straw, doing our bit to save the planet.

Make it make sense, please!

They say Gen X are built for anything. We’re the generation that played chicken with traffic for entertainment and drank water straight out of a school fountain that probably hadn’t been cleaned since the Queen’s coronation. But even for us… this is starting to feel like a bit much.

We grew up on weekly episodes of Dallas and Dynasty—high drama, shoulder pads, people fighting at the top of marble staircases and falling down them headfirst—but even J.R. Ewing would pack a suitcase and quietly leave the country if he had to go head-to-head with Donald Trump on a bad day at the “Oil Baron’s Ball”. The news now isn’t news—it’s a non-stop Page 38

And yet somehow, the bigger threat turned out not to be nuclear war or gas explosions—but Jimmy Savile popping up unannounced on a train singing like it was a variety show: “This is the age of the train” or “Clunk Click Every Trip.”

You couldn’t make it up.

We were also the generation raised on Tomorrow’s World—being shown the future.

Flying cars! Robots! A world of convenience and innovation! I remember when they unveiled the video recorder like it was witchcraft. You could record something… and watch it later. Mind-blowing.

And then there was Clive Sinclair with his Sinclair C5—a sort of motorised lawn chair that was apparently going to revolutionise transport. No roof. No protection. Just you, three wheels, and the very real possibility of being flattened by a number 54 bus.

Now, of course, if you so much as look at purchasing an electric scooter, you’re one step away from a criminal record.

But that was Gen X—live for today, because tomorrow might involve being run over… or wearing a “Jim’ll Fix It” badge.

Well. I went from enlightenment to a full-blown panic attack at the lights by Tesco at the Miami roundabout. Because I’ve learned my lesson. I absolutely have. Whatever it was—I’ve learned it. Signed it off. Completed it. Tick the box.

And let’s not forget the nuclear panic. Teachers sitting us down cross-legged on the floor to read When the Wind Blows—about a sweet elderly couple calmly dying, slowly and painfully, from nuclear fallout—while we all sat there thinking, we’re absolutely doomed.

Do not send me back. Because if I come back and have to sit through another lifetime of “Trump Trauma”—because Trump is definitely coming back—especially after he’s had a go at the Pope… I mean, once you’re arguing with the Pope, where do you go from there? Santa?

No. I am not doing it!

I went straight round my nan’s, pinched her tin foil, lined my wardrobe with it, and decided that was my bunker. Four minutes warning?

No problem. I’d be in there like a jacket potato, waiting it out. I was not going to die of ignorance!

Gen X grew up on pure, unfiltered adrenaline.

We had those public information films that were basically trauma in a 30-second slot. Kids climbing pylons to get a kite and being fried like a sausage. Kids playing on railway tracks and getting chopped in half. Even going to the ice cream van came with a warning and an advert of kids standing behind the van licking their cornets, smiling one minute, the next being reversed over, still clutching a 99. No counselling. No warning. Just, “Right, off you go kids —try not to die.”

And my personal favourite—the woman who polished the floor, put a rug back down, and created what can only be described as a domestic booby trap. Her husband comes home from the hospital, all smiles, takes one step—and bang—flat on his back, dead from a broken neck. Voiceover calmly says: “Don’t create a man trap in your home. A man trap.

(The Irony).

My nan used to watch that and say, “Shame, that… wish it worked on your grandfather. I’d be a merry widow.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or start sleeping in steel-toe boots.

No one had heard of anxiety or OCD back then, but I was terrified of everything. Turning a light switch on in case the house exploded from a gas leak. Stepping on rugs in case I triggered some kind of death mechanism. We were basically raised on low-level fear and told to get on with it. We were terrified into submission.

Death awaited at us at every turn.

We genuinely believed tin foil was the difference between life and death.

And while all that was going on, we were also being told we’d destroyed the ozone layer. Turns out all those aerosol cans—full of chlorofluorocarbons—were eating a hole in the sky. So, there we were, terrified of nuclear annihilation, while also being told our hairspray was going to finish us off first.

It’s no wonder we are the way we are.

We’ve survived phoning people from phone boxes that doubled as public toilets. We’ve survived global panic, environmental doom, dodgy inventions, and public safety films that should have come with a therapist.

So yes—we might have elections coming up.

Governments changing. The world shifting yet again.

But one thing’s certain.

Gen X is ready.

We’ve been ready since we were ten years old, clutching tin foil, avoiding rugs, and waiting for the siren.

And if we can survive all that—we can survive anything.

Even a toilet that doesn’t work properly.

Have a good Month everyone - May the Force Be With You........ Totally Tracie Over the Edge 07803 422808

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