pieces by chealsea jia feng

This piece is about my experiences with hiding my true emotions as an Asian woman. Too often I have minimized myself in the past in order to not cause a stir, but I have found that these feelings always find a way of leaking out one way or another, and it more often than not is a disservice to myself when I am denying my true emotions, or when someone is being disrespectful to me.

This piece was inspired by my childhood memories in Beijing. My family is from Beijing but I only moved there when I was ten years old. Although I felt alienated from the culture at times, I remember the awe I would feel when I would fly Chinese kites with my mom, looking up at the beautiful designs soaring up in the sky above me while the wind blew the kites away into the horizon.

This piece was inspired by an article that I read about an Asian mother taking a leave from her job to care for her child, and her struggle with walking a tightrope between being a meticulous mother and still holding onto her former self. She describes her Asian aunts as smiling approvingly at her commitment to stay home, but describes their disinterest in her intellectual activities. Especially during the pandemic, many women have been forced to lay off their careers as a result. It is shocking to see the lack of cultural and policy shifts to counter this.

This piece was inspired by a dream I had where I had a little girl right beside my pillow, looking as if she wanted to escape out into the night. I was in my last year of college so I attributed this dream to some growing pains and uncertainty about my future.