OutreachNC Magazine - May 2015

CO MPLI M ENTARY

Navigating Lifestyle Choices for Active Adults M AY 2 01 5 VO LU ME 6, I SSUE 5

The Joys of Spring!

STRAWBERRIES MAKE COOKING SIMPLE CAROLINA CONVERSATIONS: ADVICE FOR 50+ ENTREPRENEURS ASK THE EXPERT ABOUT A LONG-TERM CARE POLICY MOTHER’S DAY: A CELEBRATION

Serving the Southern Piedmont, Sandhills & Triangle areas

| OUTREACHNC.COM

www.capefearvalley.com

top perf rmer recognized as a

by The Joint Commission

Choose a hospital that delivers exceptional care If you were looking for a hospital that provided exceptional care, you could pour over graphs showing compliance with every measure of evidence-based care. Or you could do it the easy way. The Joint Commission, an independent organization that accredits and certifies more than 20,500 healthcare organizations across the nation, has done the work for you.

Their Top Performer award recognizes hospitals providing exceptional care.

Cape Fear Valley has been recognized as a top performer in four areas: heart attack : : heart failure : : pneumonia : : surgical care Top Performer status means Cape Fear Valley Health provides the most up-to-date, scientifically based care as compared to anywhere in the country. And it’s right here in Fayetteville close to family and friends.

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“We can’t imagine spending our

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Changing the Way the World Ages

Our Life. Our Memories. Our Home.

Live Well at Home with Home Care Assistance!

• Home Care Assistance is the only home care agency to offer cognitive stimulation therapy. Our specially trained caregivers help clients stay mentally sharp and delay symptoms of cognitive decline in the comfort of their homes with expertly designed, enjoyable cognitive activities.

• Home Care Assistance caregivers receive training in our Balanced Care Method™, which is a holistic program that promotes a healthy mind, body and spirit for aging adults and people with chronic care needs or disabilities.

• Home Care Assistance is the only senior care company with a Home Care University to train and develop caregiver employees. We also offer culinary training with an emphasis on nutrition to improve our caregivers’ skills and our clients’ meals.

• Home Care Assistance boasts a 97% satisfaction rate and has been endorsed by Harvard geriatrician, Dr. Dennis McCullough and Washington University Geriatrics Clinical Director, Dr. David Carr, among others.

• Home Care Assistance has produced a renowned healthy longevity webinar series in partnership with the American Society on Aging and an award-winning senior wellness book series, including Happy to 102 and Mind Over Gray Matter, which are available at Amazon.

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features May 2015

The Spring Issue!

19

Carolina Conversations by Gayvin Powers An interview with Randy Nelson, a successful veteran and Raleigh businessman, who has tips for entrepreneurs over 50.

22

Antique Inspiration by Gayvin Powers Spring brings the annual Cameron Antique Streets Fair, featuring a shop owner who was inspired by her mother.

28

From Turf to Earth: Living with Intention by Ray Linville

A professional football player retires early to feed the poor.

34

A Legacy of Brides by Nan Leaptrott

It's wedding season. A look at three generations of bridal portraits and how the brides' outlooks shaped their lives.

38

Repurposed for Purpose: Historic Survivor by Thad Mumau

The evolution of Sanford's first school house into a community museum.

40

"Spring" poetry by Ruth Moose

42 "Bee Is for Blueberry" photography by Stacey Yongue

The Secret Gift by Jules McCord

For Mother's Day, a daughter-in-law reflects on the unknown wedding gift: her mother-in-law.

T

Unnatural

Natural

Finding a Cure for Nature Deficit Disorder Please join us for this insightful presentation by Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods” and “The Nature Principle,” as he describes a generation so plugged into electronic diversions that it has lost its connection to the natural world. His writings and lectures provide ideas and perspectives relating to the healing effects of reconnecting with nature and finding a cure for “nature deficit disorder”.

“Tapping into the Restorative Powers of Nature”

—RICHARD LOUV—

Wednesday, May 20, 2015 The Country Club of North Carolina Registration - 5 p.m. & Program - 5:30 p.m.

Cocktails and Hearty Hors d’oeuvres RSVP by May 15, 2015, to register for this complimentar y program by calling (910) 695-7510 or by email at lholland@firsthealth.org.

Log Out. Stride In.

15 0 A p p l e c r o s s R o a d , P i n e h u r s t , N C 2 8 3 7 4 • 9 1 0 - 6 9 5 - 7 5 0 0 Hosted by the Clara McLean House Advisory Council & The Foundation of FirstHealth, Inc.

departments May 2015

"Life stands before me like an eternal spring

with brilliant clothes." - C A R L F R I E D R I C H G A U S S

45 advice & health 8 Ask the Expert

by Amy Natt

48 Better with Age 50 G ray Matter 54 Resource Page 56 Generations

9 Planning Ahead

by Beth Donneer

COMPLIMENTARY

Navigating Lifestyle Choices

for Active Adults

14 Allergy Awareness

by Olivia Neeley

4

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

life

9

16 Cooking Simple

by Rhett Morris 18 L iterary Circle

by Cos Barnes

MAY 2015 VOLUME 6, ISSUE 5

43 The Gentleman's Notebook

by Ray Linville

11 Brain Health

by Dr. Karen Sullivan 12 Eye Health

by Dr. Arghavan Almony & Dr. Anna Fakadej

47

11

The Joys of Spring!

MAKE COOKING SIMPLE

STRAWBERRIES ADVICE FOR 50+ ENTREPRENEURS CAROLINA CONVERSATIONS: A LONG-TERM CARE POLICY ASK THE EXPERT ABOUT MOTHER’S DAY: A CELEBRATION

Serving the Southern Piedmont, Sandhills

& Triangle areas

| OUTREACHNC.COM

ABOUT THE COVER

Strawberry Goat Cheese Salad was photographed

by Diana Matthews.

Read about it on Page 16.

45 Sentimental Journey

by Jennifer Pollard 47 Game On

by Thad Mumau

18

Don’t Wait to Feel Great!

If you suffer from joint stiffness and pain, Now may be the time for a joint replacement.

, HING TO THAT S SOMET

BELIEVE IN

What's Online!

OutreachNC.com

articles

recipes advice resources

Today, one of the most effective treatments for severe knee or hip problems is joint replacement, and the doctors of Scotland Health Care’s Orthopedic Program are tops in the field. All of our orthopedic surgeons are board certified with 76 years combined experience.

Along with excellent physicians, Scotland offers an inpatient rehabilitation center, outpatient rehabilitation services, and Joint Camp – a program for pre-op joint replacement patients that improves the outcome of the procedure and increases overall satisfaction.

Scotland’s orthopedic physicians are affiliated with OrthoCarolina, a nationally recognized practice that’s been serving the Southeast since 1922.

Whether you are 28 years old or 80, if you enjoy an active lifestyle, let Scotland Health Care’s Orthopedic Program keep you going strong. The one statement we hear most often from our patients is “I should have done it sooner”.

Over 600 Magazine Distribution Points in a 10-County Region Y

To learn more about Scotland Health Care’s Orthopedic Program, call

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OutreachNC.com 5

from the

editor

Traditionally, May has been a milestone for me. I would ceremoniously chuck my waders and umbrella and say, “Goodbye, winter. Hello, spring!” As if overnight, the blossoming flowers were telling everyone that the darkness was over. It renewed hope within me. It gave me a fresh perspective on dreary situations. It was a new beginning.

Growing up, peace presided over our spring Sundays. After church, my family would sit in our Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired living room with floor-to-ceiling windows, letting nature come inside. I would stare for hours out the window at the blossoming azaleas and Japanese maple swaying in the breeze. My mother and I poured over our writings while birds chirped in the background, my father sketched and my brother built with Legos. The only time our spring ritual was interrupted was when we’d have a Sunday drive or on Mother’s Day — when my brother and I would make our mother breakfast in bed.

After my mother passed on, life wasn’t the same — even spring. Holidays, her birthday, Mother’s Day were all painful to me. Even spring couldn’t change the seemingly endless winter that surrounded me. I didn’t care about the money, trinkets or jewelry she left behind; none of it mattered. I clung to the memories of her. My grief was unreachable. I turned to the strongest memory we shared: writing. It became my solace, my salvation and my connection to her.

It was a gift. Eventually, spring returned. I realized that our greatest gifts in life come out of our biggest challenges.

“The Joys of Spring” is an issue dedicated to our mothers for Mother’s Day, overcoming the challenges of life, restoration and the renewal that life brings. We look at how to leave life better than we found it, whether it’s a professional football player giving up the game to become a farmer who feeds the poor, passing along a love of antiques, the story of three bridal portraits, a railroad house restored or a treasured mother-inlaw. They are all gifts.

Every gift we need is already within ourselves. Thank you, spring. Thank you, Mom. Sincerely,

Gayvin Gayvin Powers Editor-in-Chief

Editor-in-Chief Gayvin Powers | gayvinp@OutreachNC.com Creative Director Stacey Yongue | staceyy@OutreachNC.com Contributing Proofreaders Jennifer Kirby, Michelle Goetzl, Kate Pomplun Contributing Photographers Diana Matthews, Amy Osborne, Stacey Yongue Contributing Writers Dr. Almony Arghavan, Cos Barnes, Beth Donner, Dr. Anna Fakadej, Nan Leaptrott, Ray Linville, Jules McCord, Ruth Moose, Rhett Morris, Thad Mumau, Olivia Neeley, Jennifer Pollard, Dr. Karen Sullivan

Y Publisher Amy Natt | amyn@AgingOutreachServices.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | susanm@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Shawn Buring | shawnb@OutreachNC.com 910-690-1276 Advertising Sales Executive Ray Stancil | rays@OutreachNC.com 919-909-2693 OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com PO Box 2019 | 101-A Brady Court Cary, NC 27512 919-909-2693 Office | 919-535-8719 Fax info@OutreachNC.com OutreachNC is a publication of Aging Outreach Services, Inc. The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted

by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction of use, without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

Spring

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OutreachNC.com 7

advice

Send us your questions!

ASK THE EXPERT

Our certified care management professionals will answer any questions you may have at

amyn@ agingoutreachservices.com

Dust off Your Long-Term Care Policy

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA My wife and I have a long-term care policy that we bought about 20 years ago. How can we determine what benefits we have and when we should use it?

This is a great question. Many people purchase policies and tuck them away in a file or safe deposit box. Now is the time to revisit that policy and find out exactly your coverage and how to access those benefits. Every longterm care (LTC) policy is written differently, and no standard answer will apply across the board.

Start by finding a current copy of the policy and statement of benefits. If you are not able to locate these, call the company to request a new copy. If you chose to have an inflation rider (benefits increase over time), get a current statement of benefits that will reflect today’s dollar amount that your benefit covers.

When you are looking at your policy, here are some things to pay attention to: • What types of services are covered? Examples of covered services might be: Nursing Home, Assisted Living, Adult Day Care, Home Care, Care Advisory Services (or care coordination), Informal Care, Initial Care Advisory (or plan of care), Respite Care, and Home Modification or Equipment.

• What is your elimination period or the time between services being provided and eligibility to receive the benefit?

• Do you have a lifetime or benefit cap within a certain time period?

• Is there an inflation rider that has increased your benefit amount over time?

• What is required for benefit eligibility? Often a physician needs to certify in writing that you need help with at least two ADLs (bathing, dressing, transfers, toileting, eating) or that because of significant cognitive

8

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

impairment, supervision is needed.

• What criteria must your providers meet in order to be eligible for the benefit? Some policies will outline criteria linked to licensure or certifications. You want to know what type of care and facility setting will be approved for your policy.

• Is there an alternate plan of care? Sometimes a claim does not meet the standard criteria outlined. Due to special circumstances or additional details, you can file the claim through this alternative method for consideration.

• Who is your point of contact? It is good to identify a current point of contact or benefit representative for when you have questions about your policy.

LTC policies are growing in popularity and often provide more flexibility in care options. They are an excellent way to ensure the care you need will be available when you need it and can be accessed in the way you choose. Not all policies are created equal and some of the older policies may have limited benefits. It is important to read the policy before you need to initiate a claim and review the benefits. If you are unsure or having difficulty deciphering the terms and implications, seek out a third party to help you do a more formal review. This may be the agent who sold you the policy, a representative of the provider, facility representative, or independent care manager. This will help you create a realistic plan for the future with accurate financial projections to fund care.

Each month, readers email questions about aging to Natt, the CEO of Aging Outreach Serices who is also a certified senior adviser and care manager. Email her at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com.

PLANNING AHEAD

advice

Is Uncle Sam Keeping Your Unclaimed Cash?

by Beth Donner

Due to living longer, decreasing pensions, volatile stock market returns and low interest rates, smart retirees/ pre-retirees are looking for ways to maximize their Social Security (SS) income and are seeking guidance with the decision-making.

From review of your SS statement, you might think there are only three reasons for when to take your SS income: 1. at the earliest age possible (age 62); 2. at full retirement age (FRA), which for most is age 66; or 3. delaying SS as long as possible (age 70). But there are actually hundreds of possible real-life scenarios of how and when to file for SS benefits depending on whether you’re married, single, widowed or divorced.

Just because you can start drawing SS at age 62 doesn’t necessarily mean you should. Claiming SS at the earliest possible age of 62 means your monthly payment will be reduced by 25 percent from the FRA amount, and despite popular perception, this 25 percent reduction lasts for the rest of your life; you do not get the 25 percent added back in once you turn your FRA age. Delaying SS income from your full retirement age (age 66/66+) until age 70 increases the monthly benefit by 32 percent.

To illustrate this, if your FRA monthly benefit is $1,000 per month, then filing for benefits at age 62 would reduce your monthly check to $750, but delaying SS to age 70 would increase your monthly check to $1,320. Obviously, the difference in taking early SS versus delaying to age 70

nets you an additional $570/month or $6,840/year. With retirements lasting 25 to 30 years or more, this grows to substantial amounts of money. Despite the awareness that delaying SS benefits significantly increases lifetime income, many retirees still claim the benefit as soon as they can, at age 62.

For those who have been through the exercise, it becomes clear that there's much more to SS than deciding whether to start drawing income at age 62, 66 or 70. In addition to the delay-to-age-70 tactic, there are the lesser known and even greater income increasing strategies such as file and suspend and coordination of spousal benefits. Knowing when and how to communicate with the Social Security Administration can make a difference of tens of thousands of additional dollars during retirement. For higher wage earners and particularly married couples, a carefully crafted decision about how and when to execute SS benefits can boost joint lifetime income by $100,000, $200,000 or more!

Americans also need to be reminded that deciding when to retire from their job and when to claim SS benefits are two separate decisions that don’t necessarily need to occur at the same time.

Social Security maximization has quickly become the new hot topic in retirement planning. Treat your Social Security claiming strategy as you do all other parts of your retirement portfolio.

Donner, a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor, is licensed in Life/Health, Med/Supp & LTC and is licensed in Securities through Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC. Donner can be reached at Beth@DiversifiedPlanning.com or 919-601-0501.

MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 9

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

Join us for AlzNC Walks across the state throughout the year. Find your local walk: www.alznc.org/walks

B R A I N H E A LT H

health

Strokes & PTSD: A Serious Consideration

by Karen D. Sullivan, Ph.D., ABPP

Stroke occurs when blood flow to a part of the brain is disrupted. The two broad categories of stroke, hemorrhage and ischemia, are opposite conditions in terms of etiology: hemorrhage is characterized by too much blood within the closed cranial cavity, while ischemia is characterized by too little blood to supply an adequate amount of oxygen and nutrients to a part of the brain. Approximately 80 percent of strokes are due to ischemia and 20 percent are due to hemorrhage. Stroke is the most common neurological disorder in the U.S. with approximately 795,000 strokes per year and approximately 15 million annually worldwide.

Stroke is a leading cause of serious, long-term disability in the U.S. In addition to physical and cognitive symptoms of stroke, depression and anxiety are common and one of the strongest predictors of disability in stroke survivors. Prevalence rates of poststroke depression (PSD) vary but are estimated to occur in 9-40 percent of patients. PSD has been reported to have a negative impact on rehabilitation (participating in therapies) and functional outcome (returning to work, driving). Stroke survivors whose depression is treated with medication and/or counseling perceive their stroke recovery as significantly better and participate more in social activities than those without treatment. Prevalence rates of post-stroke anxiety (PSA) have been more consistent and range from 21-28 percent. PSA is more common in acute stroke recovery although there is a high degree of co-morbidity with depression (46-85 percent).

In recent years, symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) following stroke have been recognized with estimates ranging between 10-31 percent, in contrast to a 1-2 percent rate in the general population. PTSD is

an anxiety disorder characterized by three symptoms: re-experiencing (e.g., re-living the event, feeling as though the event is happening again), emotional numbness (e.g., feeling cut-off from others, reluctance to discuss the event, avoiding reminders of the event) and hyperarousal (e.g., feeling “wound up,” having difficulty sleeping). PTSD can occur after an event involving the threat of death or serious injury that results in feelings of intense fear, helplessness or horror. Historically, PTSD has been conceptualized as occurring after an external event such as combat, rape, natural disaster or car accident. In the past 10 years, however, PTSD has been recognized as occurring following a range of medical diagnoses including cancer, cardiac arrest, brain tumor and stroke.

Negative thoughts about the self and world have been identified as a significant risk factor for PTSD following stroke. For example, patients who strongly endorsed statements such as “Nothing good can happen to me anymore," “I have permanently changed for the worse” and “I feel alone and set apart from others” are significantly more likely to develop symptoms of PTSD over the following weeks to months. PTSD is a managable disorder with treatment. The gold standard for treatment of PTSD is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which states that a person’s emotions and behaviors are influenced by their perception of events. CBT is thought to be of particular value in treating PTSD due to its focus on negative thoughts.

Dr. Sullivan, a clinical neuropsychologist at Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com.

MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 11

health E Y E H E A LT H

Major Causes of Vision Loss

by Dr. Arghavan Almony and Dr. Anna Fakadej

Vision is one of our most important senses, providing an estimated 80 percent of the information we take in from the outside world. If possible, we want to preserve our vision throughout our lives. The three major causes of vision loss as we age are cataracts, macular degeneration, and glaucoma.

Cataracts develop when the lens of our eye loses the ability to transmit images from the outside world to our retinas. Our lenses are made of proteins, and as these proteins change over time, their ability to allow light through decreases. Sunlight, especially the ultraviolet (UV) portion, contributes to these lens changes.

Vision loss from cataracts is usually slow. Images are not as clear, colors are not as bright, and seeing at night is more difficult.

The good news about cataracts is that they are a readily treatable form of decreased vision. With new surgical techniques and the latest intraocular implants, skilled surgeons often return vision to the way it was years earlier.

Age-related macular degeneration (AMD) affects the central vision and can impair daily activities such as reading and driving. Vision loss may be mild, moderate, or severe, and typically occurs slowly in the “dry” form

of AMD. This form may also cause small blank spots in our central vision. A small chart, called an Amsler grid, can be used to monitor potential changes in vision, and a special vitamin formulation can slow the progression of “dry” AMD. When new blood vessels grow under areas of “dry” AMD, blood and serum can leak out, resulting in the “wet” form of AMD. If left untreated, “wet” AMD can cause significant vision loss. In the United States, as many as 11 million people are affected by macular degeneration, and of those, more than 1 million people have the “wet” form of macular degeneration.

Glaucoma is actually a group of diseases that cause damage to the optic nerve, the nerve which carries visual information from the eye to the brain.

This damage initially results in loss of peripheral vision, and ultimately blindness, if untreated. Intraocular pressure (IOP), otherwise known as pressure inside the eye, is usually increased in glaucoma, and is a major risk factor. Other risk factors include ethnicity, age, family history, previous eye injury, and long-term corticosteroid use. Modern treatment for glaucoma is very effective, including eye drops, laser treatments, and eye surgery.

To look for these and other potential eye diseases, have your eyes examined yearly by your eye doctor.

Left to right, Dr. Arghavan Almony and Dr. Anna Fakadej Carolina Eye Associates is one of the largest eye care facilities in the Southeast.

Our practice provides a full range of high quality medical and surgical eye care services. If you would like more information on eye diseases contact 910-295-2100 or visit www.carolinaeye.com.

12

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

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MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 13

health A L L E R G Y AWA R E N E S S

Coping with High Pollen

by Olivia Neeley

With the arrival of spring, many folks have noticed pollen building up on their cars, doorsteps and other areas.

Budding trees and flowers this time of year means many people will suffer symptoms related to seasonal allergies.

Those symptoms include sneezing, watery eyes, runny nose, itchy throat, nasal congestion, cough and sore throat.

Dr. Ken Johnson, of Wilson ENT & Sinus Center, says pollen counts vary depending on the time of the year and what is growing outside. He says tree and grass pollens are prevalent during the spring.

"Summer tends to be bad for grass and weed pollens," he says.

He adds that some allergens, including dust, animal danders and mold, can be problems for people all year long. Pollens can irritate mucous membranes.

For many, pollens can also trigger an immune response, which results in allergic rhinitis (hay fever) and even asthma.

Johnson says folks can cope with seasonal allergies by being aware of pollen counts.

"Counts are highest between 5 and 10 a.m., and then again at dusk," he says. "When they are high, stay inside as much as possible."

Johnson notes pollen levels can be found online.

Coping with Allergies Johnson says there are a few things people can do to cope with allergies, including keeping your windows closed, vacuuming regularly and considering a hypoallergenic filter for your home HVAC ductwork. olivia@wilsontimes.com (c)2015 The Wilson Daily Times (Wilson, N.C.) Visit The Wilson Daily Times (Wilson, N.C.) at www.wilsontimes.com Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

Johnson also recommends using an over-the-counter saline nasal rinse several times a day. People can ask their physician about medical options, which can vary from a variety of over-the-counter medicines to prescription medicines.

"Many patients also benefit from immunotherapy or allergy shots," Johnson says. "Generally, if your symptoms are interfering with your daily life, it is probably worth asking for help."

Nasal allergies and asthma often go hand in hand because the disease is similar for each.

"With asthma, the disease symptoms can be severe and even life-threatening," Johnson says. "People with asthma should check pollen counts and try to control their home environments to the best of their abilities. As a general rule, anyone who has asthma should be under the care of a physician."

Johnson says while each year is different, many people begin to have trouble with allergies later in life.

"If you haven't had allergy trouble in the past, that doesn't necessarily mean that you won't have trouble in the future," he says.

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COOKING SIMPLE

Strawberry Goat Cheese Salad

by Rhett Morris I Photography by Diana Matthews

Spring brings fresh fruits and vegetables that can easily enhance any meal. Let's journey back a few seasons. The year was 1983. The food was goat cheese. The two came together in a New York Times article written by Craig Claiborne, catapulting warm goat cheese salads to the forefront of cooking in the United States. This month, we’re bringing you the famous salad topped with fresh strawberries from the farm to your table.

Ingredients 2 cups local strawberries (quartered) 3 ounces Cheese Louise from Paradox Farms (local goat cheese) 1 head Green Haven Plant Farm bibb lettuce (can substitute any local lettuce) ½ cup sweet spicy pecans Lemon rosemary dressing

Lemon Rosemary Dressing ½ cup olive oil 1 tsp salt ½ tsp pepper 1 lemon, zested and juiced 1 T local honey 1 tsp finely chopped rosemary Put all ingredients, except olive oil, in bowl and mix well. Whisk in oil until emulsified.

Sweet & Spicy Pecans ½ cup chopped pecans 2 T brown sugar 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp olive oil Heat the oven to 350 degrees. Put pecans on baking sheet and put in oven for 8 minutes (or until you can smell them roasting). Mix other ingredients into a medium sized bowl. Remove the pecans from the oven and add to spice mixture. Mix well and set aside. These can be made ahead of time and stored in zip-close bag.

Assemble Salad

Place the lettuce into 2 salad plates or bowls.

Add the strawberries, goat cheese, and pecans on top. Use spoon and drizzle dressing over salad.

Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, is an award-winning chef, specializing in Southern food with fresh ingredients. Contact Morris at 910-695-3663 or Rhett@rhettsrpcc.com.

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

A caring, comprehensive and educational approach to memory concerns.

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life

LITERARY CIRCLE

“Under Magnolia: A Southern Memoir” Book Review by Cos Barnes

In her latest book, “Under Magnolia,” Frances Mayes writes: “Thinking hard, writing about these specific days I think I’ll get to the bottom.

Why are they remembered? But what one finds in the enterprise of writing is that there is no bottom. Only a contraction into the rhythmic, blood pumping heart of the past and sometimes an expansion out of it.”

In this book, Mayes returns to her birthplace, Fitzgerald, Georgia, where she was born after her years in California, and Tuscany in the heat of summer, which she remembers as oppressive. Her incredible vocabulary sparkles on the page as she describes her dysfunctional family with honesty and comes to grips with her relationship to them. Known

for her yummy menus, she returns to the South and resurrects many of her mother’s menus – for black bottom pie, grapefruit aspic and numerous recipes using dates.

In this wonderful memoir, she describes her beaus, her years at Randolph Woman’s College (now Randolph College) in Virginia, her outdoor adventures, the books she read voraciously, the harshness of her parents – and their gentleness as well. Speaking of her mother, who lived to age 92 in retirement homes, she writes, “We are baked from the same flour,” “We were two flies in amber,” and “She is the lining in my coat.”

Her reading in April at Weymouth was outstanding!

Barnes has been writing for OutreachNC since the first publication in 2010 and currently participates in three book clubs.

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

C a r ol i n a C on v e r s at i on s w i t h

RANDY NELSON

by Gayvin Powers

Randy Nelson, author of “The Second Decision: The Qualified Entrepreneur,” an entrepreneur living in Raleigh who sold the first two businesses and is on No. 3, doesn’t plan on slowing down during the second 50 years of life.

This month, Nelson talked with OutreachNC about what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur.

Why is it important for people later-in-life to start businesses?

Globally, the age at which people are most unhappy is age 46. The happiness curve goes up from that point and continues to rise at least into our 70s, so translating that statistic into real life…it seems that once we get past the point where our finances are challenged the most (college expenses, weddings, etc.) and our kids are raised, we get a bit of freedom back in our lives. I know that is the case with me; at age 50, all six of our children were past high school and grandkids were on the way!

The second statistic is that the average lifespan of both men and women has risen over the past 25 years, but so has the average time spent living with a disability.

For men, we live on average to 78, but we spend the last 10+ years living with a disability. I understand my most productive time will most likely be in the next 10-15 years, which keeps me very focused on building and enjoying now.

Third, there has been research done that shows when the mind starts to slow down, your lifespan also is decreased. My entrepreneurial mind runs constantly, and I am confident that will not make me age any faster but rather keep me young!

In my case, I am 53 years old, and I just started my third business at age 52. Why? I realized that I had way too much gas in the tank still and that I love to be challenged. I plan on building my current business for at least the next 10 years.

I am happiest in my business life when I am building companies, which is where my true passion lies. I highly recommend to everyone who is thinking about starting

a business later-in-life to start one that they have a great passion for.

Later-in-life we all have a much clearer picture of what we are great at, what we are not great at and our selfawareness should be very high.

Spending time deciding what you want to do is important. It is just as important to decide what you definitely don’t want to do. Combining your passion with what you are good at is a great starting point!

What made you want to be an entrepreneur?

In the beginning, I was a combination of an entrepreneur and an accidental entrepreneur. In my first business I had partners, and from very early on they were committed to starting their own business. I was the holdout.

I had just completed six and a half years of naval service as a lieutenant in the submarine service and was finishing up my first successful year in a recruiting company with my soon-to-be partners. They were ready, I was hesitant. In the end, the desire to control my own destiny was just too enticing, and I have never looked back. I was energized that the success or failure of the business would be directly related to my efforts.… That was highly motivating for me; a no-excuses mindset has never left me.

I was also highly motivated by observing successful entrepreneurs amongst my family and friends along with the freedom and perks that they seemed to be enjoying (although, as I mention later, perception is much different than reality sometimes).

What do you hope your children and grandchildren will take away from you being an entrepreneur?

Most importantly, what I want them to take away from me is that being an entrepreneur did not take away from them as a son or daughter, or grandson or granddaughter. When all is said and done, I want them to remember me as a Dad and Papa, who was an integral part of their lives!

It is also why my next book, “The Third Decision,” will focus on the personal and family aspects of the entrepreneurial life, and how they are so intertwined, MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 19

especially with the business decisions the entrepreneur makes in “The Second Decision.”

My hope, especially in writing the book, is to give them a balanced look at what I did. Every day was not true joy, and even though I always had autonomy, I did not always have control because the economy eventually plays a role in the success of a company in the long run, especially the bigger a company gets.

The facts are sobering: 70 percent of small businesses fail within 10 years, and most mid-sized business under-perform. Sometimes when people see a successful entrepreneur they have the perception that “We have it made,” especially if we have been lucky enough to build a successful business (or in my case, two of them).

The reality is that it takes hard work, persistence, luck, risk-taking, focus, creativity, discipline, and many other things to be successful.

I want them to understand that it is a roller coaster ride that sometimes they will love, and other times the ride will make their stomach a bit queasy. Fortunately or unfortunately, the roller coaster ride for an entrepreneur and his/her family is a never-ending ride, because the entrepreneurial mind never shuts down.

On the other hand, I would want them to know that if they are successful, the rewards can be great! In the end, I want them to know that I did what I asked them to do growing up; I tried my best and built my companies with honesty and integrity as their core values.

If your children or grandchildren came to you today and said they wanted to be an entrepreneur, what advice would you give them?

I would be honest with them and talk to them about all of the positive and negative aspects of becoming an entrepreneur. The failure statistics are high but the rewards are also high if you can be successful. I would paint a picture that becoming an entrepreneur does give you the autonomy you desire, but it does not guarantee you millions of dollars or beach homes or extravagant vacations. I would tell them what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear, that the critical success factor of becoming a successful entrepreneur is to work very hard and smart every day of your life! One of my favorite quotes I would share is “It takes 20 years to become an overnight success.”

I would advise them that they need to have an intense focus combined with a passion to succeed in a business they can love, and that to succeed long-term they need 20

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

to have a defendable differentiator in the markets they serve.

I would advise them to surround themselves with peers (I did through Vistage and Entrepreneurs Organization) that are going through similar challenges and have a coach that they rely on who brings a life perspective to them. I have had a Vistage coach of my own for more than 10 years who fills this role in my entrepreneurial world.

I would advise them to add a strong operations leader who will build accountability and systems and alignment into the organization, and this leader will complement the visionary role that my entrepreneurial grandchildren must excel at!

I would advise them that becoming self-aware is one of the most critical skills that they need to succeed.

Stephen Covey defines self-awareness as: “The ability to reflect on one’s own life, grow in self-knowledge to improve oneself and either overcome or compensate for weaknesses.” I would go a step further and let them know that a lack of self-awareness is the fatal flaw for an entrepreneurial leader.

Then I would secretly hope that I could help coach them because I would want them to become successful and to be able to balance their entrepreneurial hopes with their personal/family goals!

What is your motto in life?

Up until now my motto was to always move the ball forward, to make progress and get better as a person and an organization, every day.

My new motto includes the above, but now starts with: “Enjoy the ride!” I have a plaque in my office that I look at every day to remind me that is what I should be doing.

In your book “The Second Decision: The Qualified Entrepreneur,” you talk about different roles entrepreneurs can play in their business. Can you break down some of the traits associated with those roles (being a creator, leader or role player)?

Creator The creator is the startup entrepreneur that gets highly motivated to create their new business from the ground up. Some of the traits associated with the successful creator are: independent, innovative, risk-taker (I like calculated risk better than risk, though!), crazy, fearless, maverick, visionary, intelligent, optimistic and confident.

Continued on Page 41

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Antiqu

by Gayvin Powers | Photography by Stacey Yongue

From mother to daughter , it 's a fa mily a ffa ir .

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

ue

J

ust shy of a century old, the brick building on Carthage Street in downtown Cameron, housing The Old Hardware Antiques and Dewberry Deli, has been around for 95 years. It started as the Ford agency in 1920 and later became the J.A. Phillips Hardware and Mule Auction Center before changing into an antique store owned by Jane and Ken Fairbanks. Twenty-eight years ago, the Fairbanks came out to visit Miss Belle’s Tea Room and Antiques. They were so taken with Cameron that one Sunday afternoon they parked their car at the post office, watching the traffic come in and out of the town. That afternoon confirmed what many people throughout North Carolina already knew: Cameron is the place to go for antiques.

At the time, Ken Fairbanks and his father had been running Waysider antiques store in Sanford for eight years. When they saw Cameron, they knew that they had to move. “We were caught up with the charm,” says Jane.

Jane shares that she developed a love of antiques quite honestly.

Aside from marrying a man who ended up owning an antique store, Jane’s mother instilled a love for antiques in Jane when she was young. It carried into adulthood; Jane has fond memories of working with her mother at The Old Hardware Antiques store, traveling together picking items for the shop and her mother “smiling and chatting with customers, helping them find answers to their questions.”

MAY 2015 |

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The ever-watchful Rosie

"Honesty and a positive attitude build great relationships."

- Jane Fairbanks

MAY 2015 |

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“Beryl Maude Willett, my mother, was a war bride. She met my father in England,” says Jane. It’s evident there was genuine fondness between mother and daughter when listening to Jane talk about her mother. Her mother lived to be 94, and mentioning her brings a smile and walloping laughter from Jane. “My mother hadn’t been in the country long when she saw a mule plowing a field. The farmer shouted at the mule, ‘Giddyup, Maude!’ That was it. From that day forth, my mother was known as Beryl.”

The Old Hardware Antiques shop focuses on “quality antique furniture and accessories.” However, “my mother always thought that English antiques were the best,” Jane adds. The proverbial apple doesn’t fall far from the tree; Jane blends her mother’s love with living in the United States, saying she enjoys “American country furniture with English accessories.”

There is a tradition of family at the store. Steeped in classics with all of the crystal, dark wood furniture and china, the store is cushioned with a cozy, down-home feel, thanks to the Fairbanks’ dogs: Rosie, a 10-year-old Jack Russell terrier, and Penny, a 13-year-old golden retriever, who are happy to show visitors around the shop.

When asked about the best part of having a family business with her husband, Jane says, “Ken, my husband, is usually willing to do the things I don’t want to tackle!” The challenges? “Having enough time to do it all!”

And there is a lot to be done considering they run both the antique store and the restaurant below The Old Hardware Antiques. In June of 1991, they opened Dewberry, the local deli, with the intention of “accommodating the many out-oftown customers and enabling them to spend a leisurely day shopping in historic Cameron,” explains Jane. Visitors notice she is true to her life philosophy that “honesty and a positive attitude build great relationships.”

In the coming month, Jane is most excited about the upcoming annual street fair in Cameron. What she loves most about the May antique show is “realizing that you are involved in such a popular and long-standing event that for 30+ years that has brought so many people together, adding new faces every year.” During this time, it seems like the entire community comes out to participate in the street fair.

It’s enough to make a visitor think that the love of antiques, family and community spills out from each store owner to the entire town.

Cameron

SPRING ANTIQUES STREET FAIR Saturday, May 2, 2015 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Known statewide as the place to visit for antiques, the quaint town of Cameron is having its annual Spring Antiques Street Fair in May. This fair has been going on for over 30 years, featuring refurbished and restored antiques as well as aged furniture that has been pulled out of family barns for the first time in years. The main street of Cameron will be bustling with visitors shopping the vendors’ unique treasures that pack the stores and yards of residents’ homes. Visitors may have a chat with the antique town's matriarch, Isabelle McKeithan Thomas. In case you get peckish, the local delis will be open along with various pop-up vendors, including two local children who will have their annual soda booth that raises funds for charity.

BABY B ANTIQUES 509 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326 www.facebook.com/BabyBAntiques

FERGUSON HOUSE ANTIQUES 509 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326

THE MARKET AT MUSE BROS. STORE 422 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326

THIS OLD HOUSE ANTIQUES 561 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326

SULLIVAN’S ANTIQUES 403 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326

NOW & THEN ANTIQUES 406 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326

MCPHERSON’S STORE 415 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326 McphersonsStore.com

THE OLD HARDWARE ANTIQUES 485 Carthage Street | Cameron, NC 28326 MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 27

FROM TURF TO EARTH: LIVING WITH INTENTION

A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER RETIRES EARLY TO FEED THE POOR

by Ray Linville | Photography by Diana Matthews

“It was a miraculous transformation,” Jason Brown says of his life change at the tender age of 27. The native of Henderson says that “everyone’s life has a purpose,” and he has no doubt that he knows his. The former professional football player is now a farmer in Franklin County, and he is overjoyed with the bounty of his land.

Imagine harvesting more than 100,000 pounds of sweet potatoes and 10,000 pounds of cucumbers – and donating them all to alleviate hunger in North Carolina. More than 600 volunteers came to his First Fruits Farm near Louisburg last year to harvest and glean produce that was donated to food pantries and shelters in central and eastern North Carolina.

So successful was this effort that Brown has already declared Saturday, Nov. 7, as the date of his second Great Harvest Festival. He wants to more than double the sweet potato harvest and hopes that more than 1,000 volunteers will participate this fall. He also wants to attract more families by adding a corn maze, hayrides, fishing events, and live entertainment as part of the festival.

His harvest may seem miraculous because Brown had no experience in farming. Most of what he knows about growing crops he learned by watching YouTube videos. However, his football talents are well-known. Playing for UNC-Chapel Hill, Brown was a first-team All-ACC selection in 2004. Picked in the fourth round of the NFL draft, he played initially for the Baltimore Ravens before being signed by the St. Louis Rams.

As a highly valued and respected defensive lineman, he literally walked away from the money of a pro football career to pursue his life’s purpose – to feed the hungry. The change to farming, if not miraculous, would at least be considered a shock to most observers.

His wife, Tay, a dentist, was well-established in her dental career. Brown himself was in the midst of a five-year, $37 million contract with the Rams. “People were telling us that we were living the American dream,” he says. “We 28

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

had all these titles and accomplishments. If you had told me that I would become a farmer, I would have laughed in your face.”

Perhaps it was a miracle that made Brown realize he was living a “life of selfishness,” as he describes it, while he was “playing sports and making money.”

A man of devout faith, Brown says, “God blessed me with the talents to play football, but the Holy Spirit began talking to me. I needed to go back to my priorities: faith and family.”

He says that God told him “to take care of my people, to feed my people. I took it literally – to feed.”

Was it a miracle that convinced Brown he needed to spend quality time with his children when he couldn’t because his football career was so demanding?

“I wasn’t raising our children – daycare was. I was spending long hours away from home,” Brown says. He and his wife have four children: J.W., 7, Naomi, 3½, Noah, 2, and Tre, who was born last November.

With the luxury of being on the farm with their children, the Browns are now homeschooling them. “It’s the most rewarding experience we’ve ever had,” he says.

Brown seeks opportunities to involve the children with farming duties. “We give them tremendous responsibilities, such as going out and retrieving eggs from the chickens. That’s teaching them great work ethic,” he says.

Brown occasionally uses Twitter to express his daily enthusiasm about farming and child-rearing. For example, in March he tweeted a photo of J.W. and a fish that he had caught with characteristic humor: “Give your child a fish and they will eat for a day. Teach them

and then you can tell them to go fetch supper.”

Tre, the fourth child, is Lunsford Bernard Brown III and is named for Brown's older brother who was killed in Afghanistan in 2011 just before turning 27, the year of transformation in Brown’s own life. “I was 20 when he died,” he says as he thinks about the loss of his brother and a life of purpose no longer available to him.

Although Brown is increasingly labeled a hero because of his dedication to alleviate hunger in our state, he reserves that description for his brother and other veterans. “At no point do I consider myself a hero,” he says. “People who live a life of service and risk their lives on a daily basis are heroes.”

Maybe another miracle is that Brown is physically fit for the rigors of farming after playing so many years as a starter on the defensive line of pro football teams. “I’ve witnessed so many players who were injured,” he says.

“In contrast, I’ve been so durable.

People would ask me, what’s your secret for being able to stay uninjured?”

Brown attributes his success to “the grace of God. I should have sustained injuries, but I totally understand it now. God steered me throughout my career and spared my body to work on the farm. He wanted me to stay healthy to farm,” he says, absolutely convinced that he has been watching miracles unfold in his life.

When Brown’s playing time with the Rams was coming to an end, he was pursued by not one but three other NFL teams – Baltimore came calling again, along with the Carolina Panthers and San Francisco 49ers. “I was tempted. They were three teams that I wanted to play for.”

Was it a miracle that led him to walk away from these teams?

MAY 2015 |

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Brown working on his farm with his father (top right) and children (bottom right).

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After he had made a personal commitment to return to North Carolina and farm, Brown was concerned about a problem. “There was no land for us to move to,” he says.

The amount of acreage that he was interested in buying wasn’t on the market. Brown says, “I had been looking for land in North Carolina previously – selfishly for myself.” At that time, only 100 acres here or 200 acres there were for sale.

“It was impossible to find a large, continuous tract of land that had not been subdivided. That’s when I made a covenant with God: Whatever place you bless us with, we will call First Fruits Farm, and we will give your people the first fruit,” he says.

He attributes the unexpected listing of 1,000 acres in Franklin County on the market when he returned to his home state as a miracle. “It suddenly became available – that’s God’s glory,” he says of the land that he purchased and has transformed into First Fruits Farm. “It’s the most beautiful farm in North Carolina,” he beams, and it has become an important part of alleviating hunger in our area.

The Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina, which serves the Triangle, southern Piedmont, and Sandhills, estimates that more than 17 percent of the population – more than 650,000 people – are “food insecure” in the 34 counties that it serves. Food insecurity is a broad term that means being hungry or at risk of hunger because regular access to food is limited, usually by a lack of money, at times during the year. Equally troubling is the number of children who are affected. Almost a third of children under 18 years of age in these counties are food insecure, according to the Food Bank.

Growing sweet potatoes probably doesn’t qualify as a miracle – except to Brown, the watcher of YouTube videos about farming.

About sweet potatoes, he says, “It’s difficult to have confidence and know that they are growing. You can see the vines on the ground, but you can’t see the sweet potatoes under the ground.”

As he was on the tractor and plowing up the field last fall, he was amazed at the sight of sweet potatoes emerging from the soil.

“They were popping out of the ground. They came out so big and so beautiful,” he says.

Leaving pro football was “a turning point,” Brown says in an understatement. “It was like going through a mid-life crisis at age 27.

Some don’t experience that until their 40s, if they do.”

Was it a miracle? “It was a burden lifted off my shoulders,” he says.

If it’s a great story, it’s in

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“It suddenly became available – that’s God’s glory. It’s the most beautiful farm in North Carolina.”

- Jason Brown

On the land he purchased and transformed into First Fruits Farm

Volunteer This Fall!

Interested in being a volunteer on Nov. 7 at Brown’s second Great Harvest Festival?

Contact one of the agencies – FBCENC, Inter-Faith Food Shuttle of Raleigh, or Society of St. Andrew (regional office in Durham) – that is coordinating volunteer duties.

In addition, stay up-to-date with Brown’s plans by visiting his website and Facebook, and following him on Twitter.

www.wisdomforlife.org First Fruits Farm @WiseFarmerBrown

OutreachNC wishes Mr. Brown, Jason's dad, a very special "Happy Birthday." He spent his birthday tending to the land to help his family feed the poor and pose for our pictures.

32

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

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A

Legacy of

Brides

by Nan Leaptrott

Three brides, three portraits framed side by side for six decades where they’ve hung over the living room mantle. The celebrations and ritual of sitting for these bridal portraits began in 1889, occurred again in 1929 and for the last time in 1955. We are brides, gowned in different wedding dresses, each portrait showing distinct variations between us, yet reflecting we are an expression of each other.

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

1889

The breathtaking beauty of a fresh spring morning surrounds Nina Alleen Elizabeth. The woods are spiked with dogwood blossoms and fragrant jasmine to welcome the birth of a new season after a raw and treacherous winter. Trudging through the woods is the stately stride of Wesley Thomas, the proprietor of the vast land, the man Nina Alleen Elizabeth will marry this year, the man whose beautiful estate will soon be her home.

Wesley Thomas’ house is large yet simple. Everywhere one looks there are small pine woods, hearty azaleas and camellias of all color distinction; the entrance is embraced by vast magnolia trees on each side of the long brick walk. The wrap-around porch with swings and rockers welcomes guests. Inside are rooms with walnut and tile fireplaces; a music room to the left of the grand entrance separates a butler’s pantry from the kitchen. A winding stairway positioned at the back edge of the front parlor leads family and guests up to a wide hall where all doors open into five sprawling bedrooms with sleeping porches off each.

Skilled in sewing, Nina Alleen Elizabeth chooses a corner room, with three long windows, so she can glance out at the perennial gardens below as she sews.

In a tall chest of drawers she places her vintage lace ready for nimble fingers to etch doilies, collars, and trim.

Soft skeins of yarn and large balls of wool are ready for someone to knit a shawl or crochet a bedspread; on shelves are pale patterned cloth, folded ready for young maidens and older women to create on the treadle sewing machine walking dresses. Another chest with small drawers built side by side hold buttons, mother of pearl, round and square shanks, spools of thread, a wooden darner to mend holes in socks. Nina Alleen Elizabeth is eager to host friends with an invitation to gather at will, to bring their sewing baskets, to spend the day, to chat about things they can’t discuss in front of their men folk.

May 15, 1889, Nina Alleen Elizabeth stands ready to greet her husband-to-be; her stomach quivers as Wesley Thomas approaches her in the garden. She greets him in a quiet, proper manner, her emotions, her smile not visible. Her responses carry on even as she steps into her

Nina Alleen Elizabeth

carriage, travels a few miles to the center of town, to the lone hotel where a photographer is waiting. There, in a quiet corner, Nina Alleen Elizabeth poses for her wedding portrait.

My grandmother sits elegantly on a Victorian chair, gowned in the elaborate wedding dress she designed and hand-stitched, a cream-colored silk faille gown with a high-collared chiffon neckline. The fabric of artful folds, pleated tucks, mingles with a beaded skirt of Belgium lace, which accents her 17-inch waist. The leg of mutton sleeves swell into enormous puffs, tapering delicate lace down to her slender fingers. A single rose gracefully tied in ribbon is placed in her mounds of hair. She wears no smile; her bearing reflects rigidity, dignity; her calm demeanor suggests a confident resolution of satisfaction.

Nina Alleen Elizabeth will soon be the bride of Wesley Thomas.

MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 35

strength from extended family, and now is the time for Alleen Montez Elizabeth to make plans to sit for her wedding portrait.

She stands in her garden in quiet elegance gowned in swirls of ivory satin flowing in deep lace flounces, in a gown she created. Her streaming veil graces to her head with orange blossoms, shimmers down her extremely long train, curling around her feet.

She cradles a bouquet of orange blossoms, long stem cream roses, valley lilies tied with slender ribbon streamers that cascade down the front of her gown. The bouquet seems as tall as she is standing.

Her smile, while subdued, reflects great poise and intellect. There is a contentment knowing she will soon be the bride of Samuel David.

Alleen Montez Elizabeth

1929

In 1929, 40 years later, the wedding portrait is a different story. Lakeside in South Carolina, during an icy season, where every breath becomes visible.

Streets are quiet, no cars are on the road, only a few people stroll down the streets. All of them look like they’re in the fog of not knowing, waiting to hear any word of hope. No one shops, no one dances to the Charleston. Some stand in bread lines; others rummage around for work -- any kind of work. The Great Depression is a reality, a harsh reality which causes Samuel David and Alleen Montez Elizabeth to wonder whether to postpone their wedding. But Alleen Montez Elizabeth has another plan.

David, look at this big house. This is now our home; we have room for your Papa, my Papa and Mamma, and other family members to live here with us. This is a perfect plan. We can take care of our parents, our family; it's a place where we all can have a fresh start.

Together we’ll pitch in, combine our resources. I will continue to teach, you will run the dairy farm, the others will take care of the house, the cooking and the gardens.

The decision is made to pull together, to draw

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Nan Elizabeth

1955

In 1955, the mood swings. I, Nan Elizabeth, don my gingham blouse, gray and black poodle skirt, my brown and white Oxfords and white bobby socks. I'm ready to jitterbug with the new man on campus at a sock hop.

During the summer courtship, we sit on the hood of his Chevrolet convertible drinking Pepsi-Cola at the drive-in watching "An Affair to Remember." Life is easy. Love is in the air. Love at first sight seems impossible to some but not to Richard Benjamin and me.

By Valentine’s Day, there is splendor and hope. The church service is packed with people.

Single candle tapers glow in each window. The music is majestic. Richard Benjamin and I leave in silence when an unexpected ring is placed on my finger. A wedding date is set, an appointment made to sit for a proper bridal portrait.

I, the bride, am ready, my dress already designed from a copy from the actress Leslie Caron wore in the movie "The Glass Slipper."

Color is the only difference between our two dresses: Leslie Caron’s dress is fashioned in shell pink, my dress is white.

My smile is as broad and high as my cheekbones. Gowned in yards of white tulle and lace, I reflect a woman full of promise and surprising shyness. In my hair is a seed pearl crown to support the full, tapering train. I hold gardenias, magnolias, lily of the valley and garnet pink roses.

Three women. Family. Three generations of brides framed side-by-side, hanging over a mantle for six decades. The fabric of our lives woven in joy, tied with knots of change, bound with golden threads of perseverance, braided together with faith in God and family. Three women, three brides framed side-by-side: grandmother, Nina Alleen Elizabeth, mother, Alleen Montez Elizabeth, and daughter, Nan Elizabeth. We are brides. We are a part of each other’s history, captured in the legacy of bridal portraits.

Nan Elizabeth and her father, Samuel David Shearer Sr., descend the staircase on her wedding day.

Nan's inspiration gown from 1955's "The Glass Slipper."

MAY 2015 |

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

Repurposed for

PURPOSE

Historic Survivor The many lives of Sanford's Railroad House

by Thad Mumau | Photography by Stacey Yongue

T

changed when prominent farmer N.R. Bryan refused he oldest house in Sanford is a treasured to sell a parcel of land to the railroad. So its ultimate landmark to be sure, but it has had to survive a destination became Columbia, South Carolina, instead few close calls to remain standing. of Augusta, Georgia.

The Railroad House, which is nearly 150 years old, The new route intersected the Western Railroad sits proudly in the heart of downtown and contains the only museum in Lee County. Many of the artifacts track, and the Raleigh and Augusta Railroad built a house there in 1871 for the depot agent, W.T. Tucker, inside reflect a heritage of trains and the towns they and his wife. She later ran a school in the house. fostered.

“It was at the corner of Hawkins Avenue and “If railroad tracks had not crossed here, there never Carthage Street, a hundred yards from the depot,” would have been a Sanford,” says Jimmy Haire, a Haire says. “Train tickets were sold in the back. photographer by profession and a resident historian, “A man named Gus Womble bought the house in who is one of the best story tellers you'd ever want to 1913, and he planned to demolish it and build a hotel. hear.

Instead, he built the Sanford Hotel farther south, and Haire's stories about Sanford are not only that was the first time the house was saved. entertaining; they're true. This one begins back in the “The second time was in 1937. The Green Top service days when coal was being mined in Central North station was right beside the Railroad House and Carolina. wanted to expand. Rather than tear the house down, “That's right,” he says, “there were coal mines in a little community near here called Cumnock. The plan they jacked it up and moved it about 15 feet.

“The third time the house was saved,” Haire says, was to put the coal on a boat, send it down the Deep River to Fayetteville and then ship it on the Cape Fear “was in 1962. By then, Womble had turned it into a rental. There was an Esso station where the Green Top River to Wilmington.” had been, and the Esso people wanted a bigger place.

Haire laughs. “Problem was, Deep River didn't live Calvin Caviness, who had grown up in Sanford, was up to its name. The boat, with the weight of the coal, a local contractor hired by Esso and told to clear the went aground. So, a railroad was chartered to run property.” from Cumnock to Fayetteville.”

Caviness sold the Railroad House and gave the buyer The Civil War started in 1861, and men and 30 days to move it. But Caviness, who was told by his coal were transported on the Western Railroad to father how important the house was to the history of Fayetteville. The men signed up for the Confederacy.

Sanford, realized he needed to buy it back.

The coal was sent to Wilmington and used for the “When he called the man (who bought it),” Haire Confederate war effort. says, “he said his wife was upset with him, and he was After the war ended, the Raleigh and Augusta wondering if he could get his money back.”

Airline Railroad opened for business, but the route MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 39

seven or so years, and that is being done right now on That made it easy for Caviness, who then donated the the outside. Sherwin-Williams in Sanford has been kind house to the town. Prominent businessmen Victor King, enough to donate the paint and supplies. That's the type J.R. Ingram, J.E. Walker and Bob Benson put up the of thing that keeps the place going.” money to move it about 200 yards to Charlotte Avenue The organ, fully restored, is one of numerous beside the depot. interesting pieces in the Railroad House Museum. Other Not long after that, the Railroad House Historical restored items include an old musket, a cannonball, Association was formed. The nonprofit organization's sabers, a bayonet from the Civil War, arrowheads of purpose is to maintain and preserve the history of various ages and a tricycle made in 1907.

Sanford as well as the house.

Outside, accompanying the Railroad House on a short Oliver Crawley, who works in investments, is a member of the association's board of directors. He is excited about stretch of track, sits Old Number 12, a steam locomotive built in 1911 that saw service until 1950. the work done to restore the Railroad House.

“I like history,” he says, “and I moved to Sanford in Lots of memories. Lots of history.

1976. I became interested in that house and the town's history in general. I'm excited about what has been done “This Railroad House is very important to the city to restore the Railroad House. of Sanford,” says 88-year-old Hal Siler, who was vice“Back when it was moved, a lot of work had to be done president of the Chamber of Commerce when it made its to make the house livable again. Much of the labor office in the old dwelling. and materials were donated. The Sanford Chamber of Commerce moved in and rented space to help defray the “Everybody looks at it with pride.” expenses.

“The Chamber is no longer in there,” Crawley says.

“Maintaining the house is totally a volunteer effort. We

solicit contributions. The house has to be painted every

Spring

by Ruth Moose

Of course the peepers — thumb green frogs who climb trees calling for what? Spring.

They sing so loud they shake the air, trees loosen, sky folds in bolts of blue blue, blue.

Between their delicate fingers, little paws, wrinkled back, they confound the season. Never stymied by that universal pull between tomorrow and night, they sing.

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C a r ol i n a C on v e r s at i on s w i t h

RANDY NELSON

Continued from Page 20

Role-Player The role-player is the person who wants to transition from the founder and most likely CEO of their own company to a role in which they can focus in an area that they are passionate about (e.g. sales, marketing, and board member). The role-player makes the conscious choice to not be the leader, the CEO. They are passionate about their company but don’t want the responsibility and accountability of having to lead the organization. I believe one of the best gifts I can give to entrepreneurs is the freedom to make this choice, because in the end they will be in a better position in the organization where they can be truly passionate, and the company will perform at a higher level with a CEO who is the right person for the job. The traits of the role-player could be a combination of those of the leader and creator.

Leader The leader is the CEO of the organization. They want to be the leader and are passionate about the role and all the responsibility that comes along with it. Traits associated with this role are: organized, responsible, steady, strong communication and people skills, disciplined, visionary and intelligent.

You will notice many differences between the leader and creator, but what stays the same are their traits as being an intelligent visionary!

For a company to continue to grow, the CEO has to be “the right person in the right seat, at the right time.” By giving entrepreneurs a choice to find the role that they are passionate about, rather than staying in the CEO role just because they were the founder of the organization, I am giving them the freedom to do what they love: to be the leader (CEO), to be the role-player (e.g., sales leader,

board member, marketing) or creator (go start up more great companies)! All of the roles are good choices for the entrepreneur; what is not OK is to stay as the CEO and to not do a great job.

What did your military training do to prepare you to become a successful entrepreneur?

My first business, Orion International, places exiting military personnel into the civilian industry after they have completed their active duty service (we have helped more than 33,000 veterans find full employment after their military service). When I would speak to a potential customer who was considering hiring military veterans, and they would ask me why they should do that, I answered it this way: “They bring leadership, maturity, integrity, discipline, loyalty and many other skills to the table.” I learned that respect is both given and earned…This taught me that everyone was important, that nobody was any better than anyone else, we simply had different roles, and they were all important."

What advice do you have for entrepreneurs?

For the “experienced” entrepreneurs who are either starting or in the middle of building their own businesses, you will have to make some balance decisions based on the facts that you most likely have earned the “empty-nester” title, you might be enjoying your grandchildren as they grow up before your eyes, and you have also built a bit of a nest egg and freedom that allows you to travel with your spouse/significant other.

With a new thriving business, though, you have to decide just how much focus you are willing to give that vs. your personal life…choices, choices, choices!

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www.AgingOutreachServices.com MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 41

Mother-in-Law:

A Secret Wedding Gift

by Jules McCord

Yesterday’s mail delivered one of the most original “Save the Date” wedding cards I’ve seen in a while.

It featured my nephew and his fiancée, in full cowboy regalia, sitting bareback astride two of their family’s beloved, old Quarter horses. They were each holding opposite ends of a lasso that had a small knot tied in the middle. The caption read, “Help Us Tie the Knot on May 29, 2015!”

I texted my nephew to let him know how much I loved the card.

“It was Peggy’s idea,” my nephew texted back.

“She’s so cool!” his fiancée, a gal out of a Tanya Tucker song, quickly added.

“You have no idea,” I thought.

Twenty-three years ago, I walked down the aisle, full of hope, toward my future husband. What I didn’t know was the gift he brought to the marriage: his mother, Peggy. She loves a dirty joke, makes a mean pot roast and whips up a rum and Coke that will make your head spin. Although she was born with the proverbial silver spoon in her mouth, she is one of the hardest-working, most grounded people I’ve ever met. While my fatherin-law attended Duke Divinity School, she worked fulltime in a law office to supplement their income (picture "Mad Men" style with Peggy marching around Durham in a polyester, pencil skirt and a hairnet bouffant). Soon after graduation, my father-in-law served in the Marines before attending law school while she devoted herself to

raising their four boys.

Her dedication extends to her entire family, including four daughters-in-law and 11 grandchildren. No favor is too big to ask of her. If you have a headache, she’s happy to run some Tylenol over. If you run out of gas, she’s the one to meet you alongside the interstate with the gas can. If you need a ride to the airport at 4 a.m., she’s offended if you don’t ask her first.

However, it’s her birthday that means the most, especially to her 11 grandchildren. Once a year, on May 29, Peggy takes her grandchildren out to lunch — wherever they want to go. Afterwards, she gives them all a set amount of cash to go shopping with, to buy whatever they want for themselves. Under no circumstances, are they to spend it on her. She swears they’ll never forget her birthday this way, and their squeals of joy are better than any gift they could buy her.

I’ve said it hundreds of times now: If Peggy were my age, and not my mother-in-law, she’d be my best friend.

It makes perfect sense that she came up with the “Save the Date” card. As far as she’s concerned, it’s time for my nephew to get married, and we’re way past due for a good party. Not to mention, he’s getting married on her birthday!

With the coming wedding and the need to get a gift, it has me thinking about my own wedding. When I muster a favorite gift I received on my wedding day, what comes to mind is the secret gift. It’s the one I didn’t ask for, or even know I received, until later in my marriage: my mother-in-law.

Jules McCord is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about family, friends, horses and hounds. To reach Jules, contact her at: info@outreachnc.com.

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

life

T H E G E N T L E M A N ' S N OT E B O O K

Senior Games Cultivate Mind, Body and Spirit

by Ray Linville

Spring brings more than flower blossoms, rain shows, and tax forms. It also heralds the arrival of competitive sports and arts activities sponsored by the N.C. Division of Aging and Adult Services. This state has the largest senior Olympic program in the United States and serves as a role model for other states.

The N.C. Senior Games began in 1983 to encourage an all-inclusive approach to mind, body, and spirit wellness for residents 50 years and older and to promote their health and wellness throughout the year.

All counties are served by 53 local games occurring now. Although some begin before May, several continue through early June. Aspiring participants can watch the remaining events to plan their entries for next year and to scope out the competition for future games.

Qualifiers in the local games may participate in the state finals in the Raleigh area when more than 3,200 seniors compete. Competing in the state finals “was a fun day,” says Mary Lou Bernett of Southern Pines.

She is the director and choreographer of Alive and Clickin’, a senior tap dance troupe declared the best of show in 2013 at the local games in the Sandhills. Her group, whose members range in age from 65 to 87, “enjoyed the performing arts competition,” she says.

Because discipline, dedication, and pride are just as important in the arts as they are in sports, the games include artistic competitions to celebrate the creative expression of seniors. In addition to performing, the other arts categories are literary, heritage, and visual arts.

Not interested in the competition? Consider being a volunteer. “We had more fun than the participants,” says Colleen Hoetjes of Wake County about her volunteer experience.

The state finals require more than 900 volunteers to host the 71 activities. Most events at this level are held late September through mid-October in Wake County.

For example, the arts competition will be on ThursdayFriday, Sep. 24-25, in Raleigh at the McKimmon Center.

In the Sandhills, the games are known as the Senior Games in the Pines. To applaud this year’s winners, plan to attend the closing ceremonies at 7:15 p.m. on Thursday, May 14, at the Fair Barn in Pinehurst.

Planning to compete again this year is Roger Fromm, 82, who moved to Whispering Pines in 2003. He began winning medals the next year in swimming and track events. Although he describes the state finals as “very competitive,” he returned with three gold medals in 2013 to add to others he had won in previous years.

Fromm attributes his participation in the state finals to Nat Carter, track coach at Union Pines High School, who encouraged him to enter after winning events in the Senior Games in the Pines. Fromm was so successful in the local games that he’s not sure how many medals he’s won - “more than 30 but less than 40,” he says.

The sports competitions recognize the importance of health, fitness, and physical excellence. Individuals complete in their own gender and age categories (in fiveyear increments). Some events are unique, such as the cornhole tournament hosted by Aging Outreach Services.

The rules are simple: To compete, you need to be at least 50 and have a commitment to mind, body, and spirit wellness. For more information about the games, go to the Facebook page of North Carolina Senior Games Inc., or visit its website at www.ncseniorgames.org.

2014 Cornhole Tournament

held at Aging Outreach Services

When Ray Linville finished the New York Marathon in 1981, he set his sights on shorter distances and artistic activities. He plans to participate in the Senior Games in the Pines next year.

MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 43

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Love the Second Time Around

by Jennifer Pollard, MSW

After years of working with octogenarians, nothing surprises me. In fact, that may be the best part. The same things we experience early in our lives can also be experienced later in life. Best of all is witnessing the life lessons they teach us, such as that love can be better, or equally wonderful, the second time around.

Cherished framed pictures in an elder’s room tell a story. When I met Helen, she had atop her bureau two framed pictures of men, side-by-side. I asked her to tell me the story of those gentlemen and naively assumed they were her devoted brothers or sons. She shared they were her guardian angels. They had both been great loves of her life.

The man on the left was the first love of her life when she was young and pre-career. He died suddenly of a heart attack in his 40s and left her broken-hearted. She thrived in her career as an elementary school teacher and then principal. To her surprise, she found love again in her 50s when she was settled in her career and happy with her life. She hadn’t expected a second love. She hadn’t expected to outlive both her husbands. But she loved both deeply and was grateful for the time she had with each.

In each life, more than one season of spring may come.

A season of change, renewal and new joy. To some, true love may come just once. But then again, love may spring again and be lovelier the second time around.

“The Second Time Around,” words by Sammy Cahn and music by Jimmy Van Heusen, debuted in "High Time," a 1960 film, with Bing Crosby on vocals. Later,

the song was nominated for an Academy Award and became a standard song for Frank Sinatra in his set list.

Dedicated to my dear octogenarians, this one is for you: Love is lovelier the second time around Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground.

It's that second time you hear your love song sung Makes you think perhaps that love, like youth, is wasted on the young.

Love's more comfortable the second time you fall.

Like a friendly home the second time you call....

Have you found love a second time? Are you inspired by music in your golden years?

I’d love to have you share your stories with me.

Jennifer Pollard, MSW, is a geriatric care manager with AOS Care Manager who has a passionate musical connection she shares with her clients. Her career has taught her the powerful role music has in preserving and unlocking our memories. ‘Better living through lyrics’ has become her motto.

MAY 2015 |

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GAME ON!

The Final Four: a Festive Weekend in Sports

by Thad Mumau

The Final Four is probably the most festive weekend in In 1981, I was in Philadelphia. On Saturday, I saw Al all of sports. Sure, there's the Super Bowl with all its glitz Wood throw in 39 points as North Carolina beat Virginia and glamour. But for sheer excitement, enthusiasm and in the semifinals, while Indiana downed LSU. On Monday, theatrics, it's hard to beat the Saturday and Monday that I sat in my hotel room in shock after learning of the decide college basketball's champion. assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan.

You've got four schools with four pep bands, cheerleader There was talk of that night's championship game squads, and hordes of fans – all decked out in T-shirts, being canceled, with the Tar Heels and Hoosiers named sweatshirts, jackets, baseball caps co-champs. But the games (there was and other assorted headgear of also a third-place contest back then) their favorite university. Sitting were played following delays. Indiana together. Living and dying defeated UNC. together with each made jump It was all so numbing that I didn't shot and missed free throw. even feel like I was at a ballgame.

In 1983, I was in Albuquerque, New It is, as they say, what it's all Mexico. The Final Four was played in about. a place called The Pit. Houston was expected to stage a dunking circus Four groups check into hotels with its Phi Slamma Jamma aerial act. and motels in and around Instead, Jim Valvano, Lorenzo whichever city is hosting the Charles and the rest of the N.C. State Final Four. The euphoria of all Wolfpack grabbed the championship four is unbelievable right up trophy and slipped out the back door until tip-off time on Saturday. By before those Houston cats could come midnight, two of the four have down from the clouds. turned into pumpkins. Less than It was all so miraculous that I 48 hours later, only one is left couldn't stop laughing. standing. Masses head back to Such are the theatrics that take wherever home is, mumbling place at the Final Four. about the errant pass or bad ref 's call that was the “game-changer.”

Over a career that allowed me PHOTOGRAPHY SOURCE: AP/ASSOCIATED PRESS to watch and write about games for a living, I was fortunate to take in several Final Fours.

Three are memorable, for very different reasons.

In 1971, I traveled to Los Angeles to see UCLA win its Thad Mumau has been a writer for over 42 sixth national championship in a row and eighth in nine years, covering some of the sports greats, years. It was the first of back-to-back 30-0 seasons for the including Michael Jordan, John Wooden, Bruins. John Wooden and his players were machines.

Jack Nicklaus and Dean Smith at UNC Chapel Hill. Contact Mumau at: It was all so business-like watching them that I thought rutabega12@aol.com.

I might be on Wall Street.

MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 47

2013 Pinehurst Concours d'Elegance "Best in Class" Award for Sports and GT Cars: Small Bore

PHOTOGRAPHY SOURCE: STACEY YONGUE

48

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

BETTER WITH AGE SERIES

by G a y v i n P o w e r s

The Sunbeam Alpine is The three year restoration of Barnes’ car shows a sassy, sporty, two-seater off thoughtful details in the design, including the coupe launched in 1953 lion and crown hood ornament (left), spoke wheels, that went into production burled walnut accents (dashboard and steering in 1959 by Rootes wheel) and black leather interior that is edged in Group, a British car seacrest green. manufacturer, making the Barnes says that she and her husband "were Alpine Series I-V. This quick looking for a Sunbeam Tiger at the time. I've always little number could accelerate been a lover of big fins, but most fins are on large from 0-60 mph (97 km/h) in cars. I prefer fast, sporty cars. We found 'Tiffany' 13.6 seconds and got 31.4 miles per gallon. The (the Sunbeam Alpine) in a barn on an alpaca farm. design was inspired by the Hillman Husky estate car, She was covered by a tarp, but I saw those fins and the elegant lines sticking out. It had the combined with sassy fins and that was it." details, like the fins and The seacrest green rounded head lamps, color is quite something made it popular in films to behold in person. of that time. In 1960, Seacrest green was the Elizabeth Taylor sped select Sunbeam racing through "Butterfield liverly from 1960 thru 8" in a red Series I 1963. When spectators Sunbeam Alpine, James saw a car race past in PHOTOGRAPHY SOURCE: KIM BARNES Bond raced a lake blue signature seacrest green Series II in the 1962 release of "Dr. No," and in a they knew it was a Sunbeam. white 1968 Sunbeam, Michael Caine saved a woman To see Barnes' latest restoration, check out her in "Get Carter." restored Sunbeam Tiger (in red) at the Concours The featured car this month is a 1963 Sunbeam d'Elegance in Pinehurst on May 2.

Alpine III, owned by Kim Barnes of Pylesville, Maryland, who put this green beauty on display in 2013 at the Concours d’Elegance in Pinehurst.

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OutreachNC.com 49

GRAY MATTER See Gray Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 52

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.57)

7 8

8

2

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7 9

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5 2

1 3

8 4

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ACROSS 1. Andes capital 5. Monroe's successor 10. Calamity 13. Auspices 14. Apres-ski drink 15. "Cool!"

17. Extend 19. Alliance acronym 20. Character 21. Consumes 23. ___ Appia 24. Foe 25. Pete Fountain's instrument (pl.)

28. All there 29. ___ constrictor 30. Dine away from home (2 wds) 31. Announce 32. Unrefined 33. A frank and honest person (2 wds) 39. Discover 40. Mosque V.I.P. 41. Eye problem 43. Director's cry 44. Flight data, briefly 48. White bean stew with meat 50. Animal catcher 51. In-flight info, for short 52. Bubkes 53. Part of MOMA 54. After-bath wear 56. Napery (2 wds) 59. Fodder holder 60. In-box contents 61. MasterCard alternative 50

4

4 7

Achievements

Keeps

Never

Pretty

Admit

Knees

Noted

Prize

Adult

Knight

Orange

Sells

Along

Leaning

Overwhelming

Serve

Arise

Loves

Party

Smelt

Beach

Males

Pears

Solar

Begins

Spent

Belts

Spill

Blush

Stall

Cheeses

Steep

Deploy

Still

Distinctly

Strengthen

Easel

Stunt

Egypt

Target

Elves

Teeth

Engine

Third

Enjoy

Treat

Ferns

Using

Geese

Veins

Hears

Wraps

Humans

Yards

62. Animal house 63. No longer in 64. Beanery sign

DOWN 1. Basic monetary unit of Sierra Leone 2. Large lizard 3. Hand-holder 4. Appropriate 5. "God's Little ___" 6. ___-eyed 7. Appear 8. Coffee order 9. "The English Patient" setting 10. Setting for TV's "Newhart" 11. Exclude (2 wds) 12. Distance from the equator 16. Common kitchen appliance 18. "Don't give up!"

22. "Two and a Half Men," e.g.

25. Blunt weapon 26. Framework 27. "I, Claudius" role 29. Impede, with "down" 31. Bird's wing 33. Kitchen gadgets 34. Malformed 35. Capable of being cultivated 36. Song and dance, e.g.

37. Blue books?

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

38. Pillbox, e.g.

42. Fit 44. Salad green 45. Ribbonlike band of tissue 46. Check 47. Dried leaves used as a laxative 49. Andean animal

50. Costa del ___ 53. Blend 55. Long, long time 57. Dracula, at times 58. Deception

A Trusted Advisor Guiding you along the way When faced with the challenges of caring for an older family member, many families don’t know where to turn. Spring Arbor can help you through this difficult process. From performing daily tasks such as medication management, bathing, or dressing, to the challenges of Alzheimer’s or memory loss, we are here to be your guide.

Call or come by for your tour today!

Spring Arbor of Raleigh 1810 New Hope Road Raleigh, NC

Spring Arbor of Apex 901 Spring Arbor Court Apex, NC

919-303-9990 919-250-0255 www.SpringArborLiving.com AN H. H. HUNT COMMUNITY

GRAY MATTER ANSWERS

WORD SEARCH

Let someone take care of you for once.

Your kids. Your parents. Your friends and colleagues. Maybe even your grandkids. But have you thought about who will care for you when the time comes? It’s something most of us don’t like to think about. However, taking the time to put a long-term care plan in place now can save you and your family a lot of stress in the future. A plan will also ensure that you’ll get the care you need and that you’ll be in control of selecting how and where you’ll receive care.

What exactly is long-term care?

Long-term care is a variety of services that help meet the personal needs of people with physical or cognitive impairments who cannot care for themselves for long periods of time. The largest part of long-term care is assistance with everyday tasks like bathing and dressing.

You have many choices when it comes to long-term care.

Talk to me about starting your planning process today.

Mike Murphy Owner/Principle Agent The Murphy Insurance Agency 250 W. Pennsylvania Avenue Southern Pines, NC 28387

W: 910-693-3422 F: 910-693-3424 MURPHJ20@nationwide.com Nationwide Financial and the Nationwide framemark are service marks of Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company. © 2013 Nationwide Financial Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

LAM-2021AO-AG (10/13)

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OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

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SUDOKU

artsplosure The Raleigh Arts Festival Presented by Artsplosure

Friday

Saturday

RaleighArtsFestival.com

Sunday

May May May

15 16 17 11 am to 10 pm

11 am to 10 pm

11 am to 7 pm

Art and Music on Fayetteville St. Kidsplosure in Moore Square

Presenting Sponsors

City of Raleigh | Duke Energy WRAL TV5 | Fidelity Investments North Carolina Arts Council Raleigh Arts Commission

-

Major Sponsors

PNC | The News & Observer Carlyle Adams Foundation

Feature Program Sponsors Target | Wake Med

Other Sponsors BC/DC Ideas

Marketing Campaign

Theo Davis Printing Printing

Artsplosure is funded in part by the City of Raleigh based on the recommendations of the Raleigh Arts Commission.

This project is supported by the N.C. Arts Council, a division of the Department of Cultural Resources.

27th Annual Alzheimers North Carolina

Stand by Me Golf Tournament June 1, 2015

The Club at 12 Oaks, Holly Springs Tournament play, contests, raffle prizes, and more. All funds received support NC families dealing with Alzheimer’s or other dementias.

Visit www.alznc.org for more information or to register to play.

Questions? Contact Richard Hiatt at (919) 832-3732 or development@alznc.org.

MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 53

ADULT SPEECH THERAPY RESOURCE MARKETPLACE

Eli Hawkins, MS, CCC-SLP Owner and Lead Speech Pathologist

DID YOU KNOW?

150 Cornerstone Drive Suite 104-M | Cary, NC 27519 919.757.6420

"Annually 8,357,100 people receive support from the 5 main long-term care service: home health agencies (4,742,500), nursing homes (1,383,700), hospices (1,244,500), residential care communities (713,300) and adult day service centers (273,200)."

www.ccatherapy.com

Source: Family Caregiver Alliance (2015)

info@ccatherapy.com

ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITIES

ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITIES

of Apex

of Raleigh

Judy Cairns, Marketing Director

Donna Binkauskas, Marketing Director

Residential Assisted Living 901 Spring Arbor Court Apex, NC 27502 | 919.303.9990 axmktg@hhhunt.com

www.SpringArborLiving.com

AUDIOLOGY SERVICES

Residential Assisted Living 1801 N. New Hope Road Raleigh, NC 27604 | 919.250.0255 ermktg@hhhunt.com

www.SpringArborLiving.com

CANCER CARE

FREE

of the Sandhills

1902-K N. Sandhills Blvd., Hwy. 1 Aberdeen, NC 28315

SandhillsHearing.com

Assisted Living & Memory Care 190 Fox Hollow Road Pinehurst, NC 28374 | 910.695.0011 mnbrooks@5ssl.com

www.FoxHollowSeniorLiving.com

CARE MANAGEMENT

Donna Brock, CCM

The STAR Program速 Rehabilitation Services for Cancer Patients Gary Hatchell, PT Rehabilitation Services 500 Lauchwood Drive Laurinburg, NC | 910.291.7800

Geriatric Care Manager

Free Consultations

Fayetteville | 910-639-9420 AgingOutreachServices.com

910.692.6422

www.ScotlandHealth.org

CARE MANAGEMENT

DENTAL CARE

HOME CARE AGENCY

The right dentist can make all the difference.

HOME CARE

We Can Help You Navigate All Your Aging Needs Trish Orr, MS

Aging Life Care Manager

Free Consultations

Cary | 919-535-8713 AgingOutreachServices.com 54

Nydia Brooks, Executive Director

I assist older adults & their families with all aspects of aging

hearing consultations

AUDIOLOGY

ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITIES

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

Call (910) 246-1011 for your free consultation.

No contract ~ One-hour minimum

305 Page Road | Pinehurst, NC

910.295.1010

www.WellenerDental.com

www.sjp.org

HOME CARE SERVICES

HOSPICE

A network of private-duty caregivers serving south central NC Kara Briggs Registry Administrator

Serving Scotland, Richmond, Robeson & Hoke counties in NC; Marlboro, Dillon & Chesterfield counties in SC

Southern Pines: 910.692.0683 Cary: 919.535.8713

Info@AOSNC.com AgingOutreachServices.com

HOSPITALS

Experience FirstHealth Quality www.firsthealth.org MEMORY DISORDERS CLINIC

PINEHURST

NEUROPSYCHOLOGY Memory Disorders Clinic

910.276.7176 www.ScotlandHospice.org HOSPITALS

senior health services

RELOCATION SERVICES

www.Carolina-RTS.com

Protecting Your Family Shouldn’t Be Join us for a FREE Workshop and discover how simple it can be!

PHARMACIES

SEATING IS LIMITED CALL TO REGISTER:

(910) 615-1630

Let us organize your medications by date & time, securely sealed in individual, easy-open packages.

Call or come by for details!

2001 S. Main Street Wake Forest, NC 27587

919.569.0500 | www.hfpwf.com

SUPPORT GROUPS STATEWIDE

Carolina TRIAD 336-213-3012 | TRIANGLE 919-610-1888 SANDHILLS 336-210-0140

ENOUGH!

TWO DATES TO CHOOSE FROM: Thursday, May 14th 6:30 - 8:30 pm Thursday, May 28th 10:00 am - Noon

Providing Seniors a helping hand in the Triangle, the Triad, and now in the Sandhills!

Relocation & Transition Specialists

IS COMPLICATED

a full range of primary care for men and women ages 60 and older. Our physicians have special training in treating seniors and employ the most current information, treatments, medications and practices for disease prevention and diagnosis.

Karen Sullivan, Ph.D. ABPP 45 Aviemore Drive Pinehurst, NC | 910.420.8041 www.PinehurstNeuropsychology.com

LIFE

Supporting NC families for three decades Find a support group alznc.org | 800.228.8738

919.238.1110

You’ll learn how to protect your family from: • Unnecessary stress, expenses and delays; • Nursing home costs; • Children’s imprudence, spouses, in-laws, or divorce; • Lawsuits and creditors

Jackie Bedard ESTATE PLANNING & SENIOR CARE ATTORNEY & AUTHOR

Carolina Family Estate Planning Protecting Your Family for Life

51 Kilmayne Drive, Suite 203 Cary, NC 27511 www.CarolinaFEP.com MAY 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 55

generations

by gayvin powers

She was my best friend. I remember her Southern

In honor of Mother’s Day and Grandmother’s Day, OutreachNC asked school-aged children and adults over 50 what they love about their mothers. Here’s what they said: What do you love best about your mother?

She cooks "psgetti" noodles for me at dinner.

-Wyatt, 6, Sandhills Theatre Arts Renaissance School (STARS)

sense of humor. - Vickie, 55 When I messed up, she still loved me. She didn’t like what I did at the time, and she went on about it. But she never stopped loving me. One Christmas she gave me a jewelry box that I still play now. The song is, “Always." - Margaret, 77 She always loved me. Didn’t matter what was going on.

She’d always listen. - Jayne, 66 Her vitality. She was spunky! - G., 88 She was my rudder, helping me steer my course in life.

- G.M., 67

She is lovely! -Aubrey, 5, STARS Her quiet, gentle nature.- Rosemary, 68 She takes me to school every morning and helps me with my homework. - Max, 8, STARS She cooks pancakes for me every day on spring break.

- Ben, 7, STARS She cares about me and tells me she loves me all the time.

- Alayna, 9, STARS She's loving and takes me to places I've never been.

- Luke, 7, STARS

56

OutreachNC.com | MAY 2015

The way she stared at me when I was in trouble.

- Bill, 69 She allowed me to tell her I loved her with all my heart, even if I didn’t always like her. - Mary, 72 1/2 She’s always there and loves you no matter what.

- Bob, 50

Let our resources, solutions and experience help you maintain your independence.

The care you need from the caregivers you choose.

Our registry provides pre-screened and pre-verified professional caregivers.

We’ll help you select a “I chose to stay in my home, private-duty caregiver who suits your and safe & secure with my caregiver.

She helps me needs shop, cook provides you and get outwith for mythe dailybest walk. and most professional care in the comfort of your home.

Best decision I ever made.”

The experts in aging well.

We are the professionals who will help you and your family liveawell as you age. We offer: “What relief!

We sat down with care manager to talkand abouthealth our wishes and • Coordination ofour legal, financial care needs. We explored our options & made informed decisions. professionals • Caregiver referrals • Placement & transition assistance • Crisis intervention • Ongoing dementia care services • Assistance with meals, bill pay & transportation

Now, we have a plan.”

AG E

.

Southern Pines: 910.692.0683 | Cary: 919.535.8713 | Fayetteville: 910.639.9420 www.AgingOutreachServices.com

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Live the

life you want.

Come out and take a look at our quarter-mile outdoor fitness trail featuring seven exercise stations. Or step inside our 45,000 square foot clubhouse to enjoy the indoor pool and fitness center, educational seminars, library and chapel.

Experience a healthy, engaged lifestyle that’s as full as it is fulfilling.

Call 910.246.1008 today.

A Continuing Care Retirement Community Southern Pines, North Carolina • www.sjp.org

•

910.246.1008