December 2015 OutreachNC

COMPLIMENTARY

DECEMBER 2015 VOL. 6, ISSUE 12

An Old Fashioned Hard Candy Holiday Plus

A CELTIC CHRISTMAS DUKE BASKETBALL’S JEFF CAPEL 6 NEW TRADITIONS TO TRY THIS SEASON

Serving the Southern Piedmont, Sandhills & Triangle

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 1

| OUTREACHNC.COM

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Only one joint replacement program in the Sandhills has been awarded two Gold Seals of ApprovalTM from The Joint Commission, the nation’s premier accreditation agency.

And Cape Fear Valley is designated a Blue Distinction CenterSM for Hip and Knee surgery by Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina. Just two of the many reasons we’re CAPEable of keeping you in the game.

For a referral to an orthopedic surgeon who is part of Cape Fear Valley’s award-winning Race to Recovery joint replacement program, please call Carelink at (910) 615-link (5465) or toll free at 1-888-728-well.

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OutreachNC.com Cape Fear Valley has earned | DECEMBER 2015 The Joint Commission’s Gold Seal of Approval

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DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 3

features DECEMBER 2015

Traditions Issue

25

42

by Jonathan Scott

by Jennifer Webster

Wolves Deal Up Tradition

28

44

by Jennifer Webster

by Carrie Frye

Spicy, Sweet and Steaming Hot ... and Healthy?

30

6 New Traditions to Try This Holiday Season

by Rachel Stewart

32

Befriending Tradition

by Jennifer Webster

36

Sweet Houses of Hope

by Diane Silcox Jarrett

40

Better with Age: 1931 Ford Model A

by Carrie Frye

4

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

The Night After Christmas

5 Ways to Curb Your Sugar Cravings

46

An Old Fashioned Hard Candy Holiday

by Carrie Frye

50

A Celtic Christmas in North Carolina

by Rachel Stewart

53

Carolina Conversations with Duke’s Associate Head Basketball Coach Jeff Capel

by Thad Mumau

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 5

departments December 2015

“December, being the last month of the year, cannot help but make us think of what is to come.” ―Fennel Hudson

16

66 15

advice & health 10

Ask the Expert

by Amy Natt

life 14

Literary Circle

by Cos Barnes

12

Brain Health

by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

15

Reading for Generations

by Michelle Goetzl

16

Dental Health

by Laura Wellener, DDS

20

Game On

by Thad Mumau

64

Resource Marketplace Find the resources you need.

66

Generations

by Carrie Frye

COMPLIMENTARY

DECEMBER 2015 VOL. 6, ISSUE 12

18

Caregiving

by Mike Collins

56

Grey Matter Games Sudoku, Word Search & Crossword

22

Law Review

by Jackie Bedard

59

Belle Weather

by Celia Rivenbark

Health & Wellness

by Cedric Bryant

60

24

45

58

6

Coping with Grief

by Donna Miller

62

Planning Ahead

by Bob Rauf

63

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

Cooking Simple

by Rhett Morris Gentleman’s Notebook

by Ray Linville The Nonagenarian

by Glenn A. Flinchum

An Old Fashioned Hard Candy Holiday Plus

A CELTIC CHRISTMAS CAPEL DUKE BASKETBALL’S JEFF THIS SEASON 6 NEW TRADITIONS TO TRY

Serving the Southern Piedmont, Sandhills

& Triangle

| OUTREACHNC.COM

COVER PHOTOGRAPHY

BY DIANA MATTHEWS AT BUTTERFIELDS CANDY IN NASHVILLE, N.C.

www.pinehurstortho.com

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 7

from the editor

D

ecember brings the holidays, Old Man Winter’s arrival and season’s greetings.

This month, we honor traditions: old, new and sweet.

From hard candy that dates back to the 1920s, a Pinehurst bridge club from the ’30s and a Triangle nonprofit’s 13th annual gingerbread event, traditions abound.

For our cover story, we traveled to Nashville, North Carolina, where country music is popular but hard candy is No. 1. Butterfields Candy, set back amidst towering pines and fall foliage, has been churning out its sweet product for 92 years.

Although the owners have changed throughout the company’s tenure, it is still a family-owned-andoperated endeavor where the recipes, equipment and, most importantly, taste, are still delighting kids of all ages nationwide.

We were treated to a behind-the-scenes tour to see how the holiday candy blend takes shape. We left with the sweet smell of orange, cinnamon, peppermint, lime, wintergreen and spearmint coming together for a deliciously old-fashioned flavor of the season that is churned out year-round. As important as the candy legacy is, the journey of the owner Dena Manning is just as enchanting with her entrepreneurial spirit that launched her second career as a candymaker.

Meeting the people behind the stories is simply the best gift for every season. Seeing the sparkle in the eyes of someone as he or she recounts their passion are the moments we treasure and do our best to deliver gift-wrapped to you, our readers. As we wrap up 2015, thank you for sharing your time and turning these pages with us!

It’s time to rescue the Christmas tree from Co-editor Jeeves’ undecorating efforts. From the OutreachNC family to yours, we wish you the happiest of holiday seasons and a bright year ahead in 2016.

Until next year...

—Carrie Frye

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

Editor in Chief Carrie Frye | carrief@OutreachNC.com Contributing Graphic Designers Nikki Lienhard, Jonathan Scott Contributing Proofreaders Jennifer Kirby, Michelle Goetzl, Kate Pomplun, Jennifer Webster Contributing Photographers Katherine Clark, Diana Matthews Contributing Writers Cos Barnes, Jackie Bedard, Cedric Bryant, Mike Collins, Glenn A. Flinchum, Michelle Goetzl, Ray Linville, Donna Miller, Rhett Morris, Thad Mumau, Bob Rauf, Celia Rivenbark, Jonathan Scott, Diane Silcox Jarrett, Rachel Stewart, Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP, Jennifer Webster, Laura Wellener, DDS

Y Publisher Amy Natt | amyn@AgingOutreachServices.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | susanm@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Shawn Buring | shawnb@OutreachNC.com 910-690-1276 OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com PO Box 2019 | 101-A Brady Court Cary, NC 27512 919-909-2693 Office | 919-535-8719 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

www.OutreachNC.com OutreachNC is a publication of Aging Outreach Services, Inc. The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

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articles

advice previous issues recipes

Dr. Brian Parkes

Violet Moore

General Surgeon

Breast Cancer Survivor

“I’m fighting breast cancer and winning. And no wonder –

I’ve been ‘in it to beat it’ from the start!”

Violet has long understood the importance of monthly breast self-exams and annual mammograms. In the fall of 2014, during one of her self-exams, she detected a lump. Her primary care physician quickly referred her to Scotland Memorial Hospital for tests. On December 18th, a week before Christmas, Dr. Parkes, of Scotland Surgical & GI, shared the diagnosis with Violet – stage 2 breast cancer.

Right away, Violet received chemotherapy prescribed by Dr. Kelvin Raybon at Scotland Cancer Treatment Center. Afterward, she underwent a partial mastectomy performed by Dr. Parkes, and then began radiation therapy by Dr. Andrew Brown at Scotland Cancer Treatment Center.

“I’ll finish my treatments on October 27th,” Violet says. “Dr. Parkes, Dr. Raybon, Dr. Brown; everybody there has been so thoughtful and diligent. They were wonderful. I can’t imagine going through this without them. And they’re all right here in Laurinburg.”

Violet credits her faith, coupled with the staff at Scotland Health Care for her recovery. “I’m now a better person with a fresh new outlook on life. No time for ‘woe is me!’”

If you haven’t had a mammogram this year, schedule one today.

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magazine extras

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advice

Our Aging Life CareTM Professionals will answer any aging questions you may have.

Email us your questions!

ASK THE EXPERT

info@OutreachNC.com

Resources for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA My husband and I recently obtained guardianship of our 4-year-old grandson. This will be a new chapter in our lives, and we are looking for resources to help us. What do you suggest?

Grandparents play a significant role in today’s family unit. When a child is no longer able to live with the biological parent or legal guardian, a grandparent can provide stability and family values. Typically, grandparents have been out of the parenting role for many years, and now must adapt to take on that role with a new generation.

Many grandparents, like you, are able to provide this stability, but need some help. According to AARP, more than 5.8 million children are living in the home with a grandparent. Many of these grandparents take on the sole responsibility of the child and are unaware of legal rights, benefits and support services available to help them. With the prevalence and importance of this emerging trend, a national partnership was formed among AARP, Brookdale Foundation Group, Casey Family Programs, Child Welfare League of America, Children’s Defense Fund and Generations United to create “GrandFacts: State Fact Sheets for Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children.” You can access this information, which is listed by state, at: http://www.aarp.org/relationships/friends-family/ grandfacts-sheets/

In the state of North Carolina, 89,622 grandparents are responsible for their grandchildren living with them.

GrandFacts provides valuable resources and contact information for educational programs, support groups, legal and financial assistance, and advocacy groups that are available to provide help.

GrandFacts is a great starting point to identify the local resources that can directly impact your experience with your grandson and empower you to take on this new role. If you are not computer savvy, feel free to contact me, and I am happy to mail you a copy of the fact sheet.

There are also several books now available that can provide guidance. Grandparents.com features “The Sacred Work of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren,”

by Elaine K. Williams. She interviewed more than 60 grandmothers and grandfathers who are raising grandchildren and wrote this book to share their experiences. Another perspective is “Raising Our Children’s Children” by Deborah Doucette, which is based on her personal experience raising a grandchild.

As you enter this new chapter in your lives, I applaud you for your efforts and encourage you to connect with a support group in your area. Sharing your experience with others and learning from those who have been in similar situations can be very valuable. Your grandson will have an adjustment period as well, so seek out all of the available community resources to make this a positive experience for all of you.

Readers may send questions to Natt, an Aging Life CareTM Professional, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services. She can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com.

A child needs a grandparent, anybody’s grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world.

-Charles & Ann Morse

10

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

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OutreachNC.com 11

health

B R A I N H E A LT H

The Most Misdiagnosed Type of Dementia

by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

T

he news recently suggested that beloved actor Robin Williams had Lewy body dementia (LBD). LBD is thought to be the most misdiagnosed type of dementia due to the lack of access to dementia experts and considerable overlap between LBD and its two closest conditions: Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s disease with dementia.

A correct dementia diagnosis matters for many reasons including identifying what medicines will help and, in the case of LBD, which to avoid, and allows patients and families to connect with community resources.

LBD is an umbrella term for two types of dementia: dementia with Lewy bodies and Parkinson’s disease dementia, associated with the presence of Lewy bodies-abnormal protein deposits called alpha-synuclein-in the brain.

Dementia with Lewey bodies causes changes in a person’s thinking, motor abilities and behavior that interfere with daily functioning. The main symptoms of dementia with Lewey bodies are fluctuating cognitive impairment, well-formed and recurrent visual hallucinations and motor symptoms like tremor and rigidity. Suggestive symptoms of dementia with Lewey bodies include repeated falls, syncope (i.e. fainting or passing out), REM sleep disorder (acting out of one’s dreams, often in an aggressive manner), and trouble with the autonomic nervous system (blood pressure rising and falling unpredictably, urinary incontinence and constipation).

Diagnosing LBD Without MRI or CT scans or blood tests that can reliably diagnose Dementia with Lewey bodies, neuropsychologists (clinical psychologists with expertise in the brain) are increasingly called upon to provide the cognitive assessments that are often considered the most accessible gold standard tool for the diagnosis of a specific dementia and how it is progressing.

The most difficult distinction is between dementia with Lewey bodies and Parkinson’s disease dementia, because the symptoms are very similar. Neuropsychologists use their skills in clinical interviewing, alongside other techniques, to separate these two diseases based on the onset and symptoms. If the onset of dementia is within one year of motor symptoms, it is more likely to be dementia with Lewey bodies.

12

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

In contrast, if the onset of the motor symptoms is more than one year earlier than the onset of dementia, PDD is more likely.

All individuals with PDD have motor symptoms at the time of a dementia diagnosis, in comparison to only 25-50 percent of those with dementia with Lewey bodies when diagnosed.

Separating dementia with Lewey bodies from Alzheimer’s disease (AD) is more straightforward with the right diagnostic tools (paper and pencil cognitive testing), although it can still be tricky. Short-term memory loss tends to be a more prominent symptom in early AD when compared with early dementia with Lewey bodies, whereas those with dementia with Lewey bodies usually experience problems in the realm of executive functioning-planning, organization and the processing of visual information.

Well-formed and recurrent visual hallucinations are much more frequent in early-stage dementia with Lewey bodies, whereas delusions (thinking someone is stealing from them) tend to be more common in AD. REM sleep disorder is also more common in early dementia with Lewey bodies.

Treating LBD Recent research suggests that LBD patients might have better responses to memory-enhancing medications (cholinesterase inhibitors such as Aricept).

A diagnosis of LBD also alerts medical providers to avoid medications that can aggravate symptoms dramatically, such as traditional antipsychotics, such as haloperidol (Haldol).

Approximately 60 percent of LBD patients treated with these medications show distressing signs of sedation, decreased ability to move, or a life-threatening condition called neuroleptic malignant syndrome that develops with fever, severe muscle cramps and alterations in mental status.

Behavioral interventions may help families of dementia with Lewey bodies patients cope with cognitive symptoms, difficulty with eating because of tremor and fall prevention.

For more information on LBD, visit www.lbda.org.

Dr. Sullivan, a clinical neuropsychologist at Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com.

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OutreachNC.com 13

life

LITERARY CIRCLE

‘The Nightingale’ and ‘Orphan Train’ Book Reviews by Cos Barnes

K

ristin Hannah’s “The Nightingale” is the finest book I have read this season. It relates the story of two sisters, Vianne and Isabelle, who are close but have many differences.

The sisters live in Paris when Hitler’s invasion of France destroys their lives as they knew them.

Isabelle always felt rejected by her father, who had become a hopeless alcoholic. Yet, he sends her to the countryside to help Vianne, who has a husband and a little girl.

The husband goes to war, and Isabelle joins the Resistance. Vianne wages a courageous battle at home, remaking hers and her daughter’s clothes and standing in line for rations each day. She has German officers living in her home and is subject to their indignities. The two sisters exhibit individual senses of right and wrong, but both show humanity and strength in the face of the atrocities of war.

Isabelle leads numerous trips across the Pyrennes, too busy for love, and Vianne takes the son of a Jewish best friend and protects him. She helps the nuns in the protection of Jewish youngsters. Read the book to find out who the ‘Nightingale’ is and what happened to all after the war.

My book club members went around the room in discussion of Christina Baker Kline’s book, “Orphan Train.” Some said they had never heard of the orphan trains.

Between 1854 and 1929, orphan trains ran regularly from the cities of the East Coast to the farmlands of the Midwest. Their cargo, unfortunately, was thousands of abandoned children whose destiny would be determined by fate. They might be adopted by a loving family or committed to servitude.

The star of this epic tale is a 9-year-old Irish immigrant, Vivian Daly, who is sent by train from New York City to a world of hardship. Her saving grace is going to school, a feat she walks miles in the cold to accomplish. Her school teacher finally helps her out of the wretchedness of her life.

Kline weaves a fascinating tale, in which the true mystery is revealed by mementos buried in an attic.

Other characters appear and enhance this brilliant story.

Barnes has been writing for OutreachNC since the first publication in 2010 and currently participates in three book clubs. She can be reached at info@outreachnc.com.

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Make Reading a Lasting Tradition

life

Book Reviews by Michelle Goetzl

A

s the winter holidays roll around, many families have a wide variety of traditions that make this time of year that much more special. Holiday-themed booksclassics and new stories-abound. Many families keep these special books with all of their holiday decorations to pull out and enjoy every season. It may be time to add a book or two to your collection as books are one of the best gifts you can give a child.

One classic story that all children should know is Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” There are many versions of this fabulous story in print and on film which tell the story of Ebenezer Scrooge. While on the surface this might be considered a story about Christmas, it is more about the holiday spirit and that family and love are the mightiest gifts of all. There are many adaptions of the story appropriate for various age levels. New this year is artist Yelena Brykenskova’s version, which would make a beautiful keepsake.

Another newly published book that reminds us to treasure the simple things, but handled in a very comical manner, is Ellis Paul’s “The Night the Lights Went Out on Christmas.” Highlighting how our society has become so much more commercial and the unconscious desire many have to one-up their neighbors, this story uses the showy light displays that have become so common in recent years to make a point. When one light bulb becomes the final straw in what the power grid could hold, the lights go out on the entire world. In that time, people are actually able to look up and see the stars in the sky and are reminded of the star that guided the three kings so long ago.

A classic by Patricia Polacco brings Christian and Jewish traditions together with strong values and compassionate characters. In “The Trees of the Dancing Goats,” a picture book geared for older elementary school-aged children, a Jewish family realizes that the majority of their neighbors won’t be able to celebrate Christmas, because they are all sick. The family finds that it is hard for them to fully celebrate Hanukkah when their friends are unable to enjoy their own holiday

traditions. The solution that the family comes up with is to cut down and decorate Christmas trees with handmade trinkets and to deliver meals made with love. This story celebrates that we all have our own important traditions as well as the miracle of true friendship, something that people of every faith can understand.

A final addition that makes a wonderful gift for a young Jewish child but can be enjoyed by everyone is Eric Kimmel’s “Simon and the Bear.” Kimmel’s books are fabulously written and visually stunning. In this story, young Simon leaves his family to make a better life in America. His mother reminds him to celebrate Hanukkah during the voyage for “Who knows? You may need a miracle on your long journey.”

Simon finds himself on the Titanic, so he actually needs a number of miracles. However, Simon also looks out for others and performs an exceptionally good deed of giving up his space on a life-boat to a man who has family in America that needs him. This story takes the traditional story of the miracle of Hanukkah and changes it up so that young Simon learns that “miracles aren’t just for the Maccabees. They can happen to anyone, anywhere, even in the darkest of times. You just have to believe.”

Goetzl writes an online blog—”Books My Kids Read.” She loves books and sharing that love of reading with children. She can be reached at booksmykidsread@gmail.com.

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 15

health

D E N T A L H E A LT H

The Gift of Oral Health

by Laura Wellener, DDS

G

ift giving often tops the list of tasks at the holidays. Rather than sweaters or gadgets, let’s talk about a different type of gift. And it’s for yourself. It is the gift of good oral health.

Good oral health is important for so many reasons. A healthy mouth means teeth and gums that are free of disease and pain as well as healthy jaw bones and soft tissues. However, the mouth is also the gateway to the rest of the body. The mouth often offers clues to our overall state.

It is well documented that gum disease is linked to cardiovascular disease. Gum disease (or periodontal disease) has also been linked to stroke, diabetes, pneumonia, certain cancers and the list goes on. The exact relationships aren’t entirely understood at this time, but obviously periodontal disease is bad for a multitude of reasons.

Giving yourself good oral health could be one the best gifts you’ve ever received. Achieving, or maintaining, good oral health means different things to different people.

Perhaps there is some dental treatment you need that you have been putting off. Consider completing the treatment before it gets worse. For example, once a tooth gets a cavity, it never goes away on its own but it can certainly get bigger.

Think of it as an investment in your health.

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

There are some of us that have not been able to keep up with oral health. This could be due to health or financial reasons, fear, or just life being hectic. Now is a great time to get yourself back on track. It will be one of the best things you can do for yourself. Schedule an appointment with your dentist. Your dental team will check you for cavities, gum disease, oral cancer and other abnormalities. You and your dentist can discuss options to address any needs, and your dental team will help you develop a plan for staying healthy, including which dental products are right for you and the proper way to use them.

If you’ve been keeping up with your dental health pretty well, you’ve already given yourself a great gift. Make the promise to yourself to keep it up.

Most all of us could benefit from spending a little more time every day caring for our mouths.

Brushing, flossing, using any recommended rinses, properly cleaning removable appliances or dentures, etc., for just a few minutes a day can lead to drastic improvements in the health of your mouth. Carving out this time is a gift to yourself. Preventing dental problems is much easier and less expensive than fixing them once they’ve occurred.

Wherever you are on the oral health spectrum, getting or staying healthy will be a great benefit to you. It is a gift to yourself that you will literally use every day.

Dr. Wellener, owner of Wellener Dental in Pinehurst, can be reached at 910-295-1010 or FrontOffice@WellenerDental.com.

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For donation criteria, or to learn more about Habitat’s FREE pick up service, call the ReStore in your county.

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DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 17

advice CAREGIVING CAN MAKE LIFE CRAZY!

Holidays for Caregivers

Mama

by Mike Collins

T

his is my first holiday season of my life without my mother.

On Wednesday, Oct. 28, at about 9:15 a.m., she passed away. My current caregiver journey is over.

During the days following her death, my brother, Joe, and I stayed in close touch about how we were doing and how the details of Mama’s service would be handled.

One of the things Joe and I agreed about was the surprising feeling of release and relief we had.

The steady hum of the weight of caregiving had been going on for so long that I had become unaware of the stress. When the journey ended, it seemed that the worry that had been such a weight ... lifted.

It’s such a cliche to say Mama is in a better place; however, considering her deteriorating condition, she’s better off and so are we. During the last few days, so many folks have been kind, caring and understanding. They’ve offered, “Sorry for your loss.” My answer has surprised some, “This was one of those situations in which you don’t want it to happen, but you’re glad when it does.”

I realize this is an odd way to start a message about the holidays, but, if you are a caregiver, or you know someone who is, one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself or others this year is to understand that it’s OK to have or desire the feeling of relief that comes when your caregiver journey is over. It’s natural. It’s also natural to chastise yourself, to feel a little or a lot guilty for having the thought. Learn to understand that the thought is your body and brain’s way of supporting you and helping you survive. You simply need to understand that sometimes your mind (you do know that your brain and mind are two different things, right?) isn’t working in your best interest by generating thoughts of guilt.

If you are a friend of a caregiver, you probably often ask, “Is there anything I can do?” This holiday season, stop asking and start doing. Help him or her find time off from caregiving, take a meal, listen with both ears and be the friend you would want them to be if the roles were reversed.

Holidays are always difficult for caregivers in a variety of ways. This year, give yourself a break. If you find it difficult to have a happy holiday, at least have a better holiday. Check crazycaregiver.com for more caregiver holiday ideas. ©2015 Mike Collins.

Collins is the producer of the video, “Care for the Caregiver,” winner of a National Caregiver Friendly Award from Today’s Caregiver Magazine. For ways to deal with the craziness of caregiving, visit www.crazycaregiver.com.

18

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

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OutreachNC.com 19

life

GAME ON

A-C-C ... It’s a Basketball Tradition

W

by Thad Mumau

e have this tradition down here in North Carolina called the ACC. That stands for Atlantic Coast Conference, of course, and the sport is basketball.

But everybody knows that. There are still bowl games to play this time of year, but everybody knows those three letters-A-C-C-mean hoops. Football, after all, is just what the league’s teams do until roundball rolls around.

This state is such a big part of it, with Duke, North Carolina, N.C. State and Wake Forest. There was a time, even if younger fans are unaware, that the Big Four pretty much ruled. After all, State’s Everett Case was responsible for bringing big-time college basketball to the South.

Carolina hired Frank McGuire to try to keep up, Duke got Vic Bubas and Wake called on Bones McKinney.

Those were the days when every team in the conference played every other team twice during regular season, homeand-home sets on the schedule each season. Not any more.

It’s hard to think that old rivals Carolina and Wake don’t even play at each other’s place every year.

When you think ACC, you think great rivalries ... DukeCarolina, Carolina-State, State-Wake. Not Boston CollegePittsburgh, Syracuse-Miami and Louisville-Virginia Tech.

And whatever happened to Maryland? The Terps in the Big Ten? C’mon, now.

Did you notice that South Bend, Indiana, has somehow worked its way to the Atlantic Coast? I’m expecting UCLA to join the league any day now. In the good old days (there, I’ve said it), there were only eight schools in the conference, and all eight played on the first day of the ACC Tournament.

Traditions, as much as we love them, change sometimes.

Not always for the better. Unless more dollar signs mean improvement, and we know that’s not so.

Long-time followers of the ACC recall the Dixie Classic, which was played in Raleigh every year during the holidays.

The finest college basketball tournament ever staged. It could have sold out Yankee Stadium. No one thought it would ever end.

But it did. Hasn’t been held for years. Today, teams travel all over the place to participate in holiday tourneys. Trying to stay sharp for the hot pocket of the ACC schedule in January.

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Meanwhile, the older fans-and the younger ones, toolike to pick all-time teams, say who’s best and play the comparison game.

Like, how good would Lennie Rosenbluth be in modern basketball? Or Art Heyman? Could Lou Pucillo hang with the jet streams playing point guard now?

Do you start your Forever ACC Team with David Thompson? Could John Roche play with Chris Paul? Can you imagine Tyler Hansbrough banging bodies with Len Chappell? Is it possible to leave Jeff Mullins off your first five?

Let’s see ... who do I want in my backcourt from this bunch?

John Lucas, Phil Ford, Rodney Monroe, Charlie Davis, Johnny Dawkins, Mark Price, Barry Parkhill, Bobby Hurley, Kenny Anderson, Roche, Paul, Pucillo and Kenny Smith.

On the wing, choose from D.T., Larry Miller, Grant Hill, Michael Jordan, Heyman, Mullins, Albert King, Walter Davis, Shane Battier and Charlie Scott.

Take a couple of big guys from a batch that includes Christian Laettner, Ronnie Shavlik, Rosenbluth, Chappell, Hansbrough, Tom McMillen, Tim Duncan, Bobby Jones, Len Elmore, Danny Ferry, Ralph Sampson, James Worthy, Dickie Hemric, Elton Brand, Tommy Burleson, Antawn Jamison, Horace Grant, Buck Williams and Sam Perkins.

The list could go on and on because the ACC skies have been filled with bright stars over the league’s 62-year history.

Two of the greatest college coaches (along with John Wooden) of all time, Mike Krzyzewski and Dean Smith, have brought fame and integrity, as well as national championships, to the conference.

Year in and year out, the ACC has set the standard for excellence in college basketball. Other conferences have had their season in the sun here and there, but all of us of along Tobacco Road know where it’s at. It’s a tradition.

Mumau has been a writer for more than 48 years, covering some of the sports greats, including Michael Jordan, John Wooden, Jack Nicklaus and Dean Smith. He can be reached at rutabega12@aol.com. Mumau’s book, “Had ‘Em All the Way,” is available at www.amazon.com. It is his seventh book.

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advice

L AW R E V I E W

Estate Planning as Important for Singles

W

by Jackie Bedard

hen a person dies without a last will and testament, assets are disbursed according to the laws of the state.

For married people, that means a surviving spouse inherits those assets, even if they’re not jointly titled. For a single person, the same law means the assets will be handed off to close relatives (i.e. children, parents, siblings). When no relatives are available to inherit the estate, assets might even go to the state. The best way to keep the government from choosing the fate of your assets is to ensure you have the following essential documents in an estate plan:

financial power of attorney, but the role should be filled by someone who will act according to your expressed wishes regarding medical decisions.

Will The primary piece of the estate plan should always be a will. Single people may have special considerations to keep in mind while creating this document.

• Who do you want to be the executor if you don’t have (or want) any relatives to assume the task? You may choose a close friend or an objective third party. Also, naming beneficiaries for a single person may not be as obvious as it is for married people, particularly if there are no children or close relatives.

• Who will inherit items with sentimental value?

• Who will care for a beloved pet?

• Is there a charity or organization you would like to support with donations of your assets or the liquidation of your estate?

Trust There are several instances in which a single person is much better off to place his assets into a trust than to rely on a simple will. A well-drafted trust is designed to ensure those assets are distributed according to your wishes without probate. In many cases, creating a trust will be far less expensive than what the estate will lose to probate costs (e.g., court filings and attorney fees).

A trust can also help a single person who wants to ensure a pet is properly cared for after his or her death, that a disabled loved one continues to receive financial support, or that a cause or charity will continue to benefit from the legacy he or she leaves behind. The protective powers of a trust are critical for business owners and professionals that want to ensure that what they worked so hard to achieve doesn’t simply dissolve upon death.

Durable Financial Power of Attorney If you are incapacitated due to illness or injury, who can legally make financial decisions on your behalf? Married people generally name their spouses as durable financial power of attorney to manage their money issues. As a single person, you may choose a trusted friend or a close relative to handle financial affairs while you are unable to do so.

Healthcare Power of Attorney At the same time, who speaks for you during a medical crisis? Who is authorized to discuss your condition with doctors and make decisions about treatment and care? This person does not have to be the same one you named as 22

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

Beneficiary Designations Single people should also ensure that life insurance and retirement plan beneficiary designations are updated regularly to reflect life changes. Our suggestion is that these designations should align with your beneficiary designations in the will to avoid confusion for loved ones.

Don’t Ignore It In the end, we know estate planning can seem like a daunting task, especially if you are unmarried. Many ignore the problem, accounting for a large number of single people who don’t even have a simple will. You may have special considerations that need to be addressed and require sound planning.

Bedard, an elder law attorney with Carolina Family Estate Planning, can be reached at 919-443-3035.

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health

WELLNESS

5 Tips to Ward Off Illness This Flu Season

by Cedric Bryant, PhD, FACSM

W

4

ith flu season upon us, it’s important to know how to keep your body as healthy as possible during this time of year in order to avoid getting sick all together and help ensure optimal immune system function.

1

Avoid overtraining and chronic fatigue—Space vigorous workouts

and race events as far apart as possible.

Listen to your body and don’t push beyond your ability to recover.

5

Manage your stress levels—Chronic stress has

Eat a well-balanced diet—The immune system

depends on many vitamins and minerals for optimal function. However, at this time, there is no good data to support supplementation beyond 100 percent of the Recommended Dietary Allowances.

diets, long2term fasting and rapid weightLow-calorie loss have been shown Avoid rapid weight loss—

to impair immune function. Losing weight while training heavily is not good for the immune system.

Major sleep disruptions (getting 3three hours less than normal) have been linked to Get adequate sleep—

immune suppression. While there is no magic number, the National Sleep Foundation suggests that adults should get 7-8 hours per night (the amount of sleep our bodies need for optimal performance). Getting enough rest also allows you to deal more effectively with stress.

been linked to suppression of immune system function.

In the time-pressured, hectic environments that many of us live, developing effective stress management strategies and techniques can go a long way in helping us stay healthy during cold and flu season. Exercise can help to reduce anxiety, induce relaxation, make you feel better about yourself and also encourage the adoption of other healthy behaviors. Activities such as yoga, meditation, deep breathing and tai chi are other documented ways to relax and reduce stress.

Bryant, chief science officer for the American Council on Exercise (ACE), is responsible for ensuring the scientific accuracy of ACEcommissioned studies. For more information, visit www.acefitness.org.

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

WOLVES Deal Up Tradition

B

by Jonathan Scott | Photography by Diana Matthews

onhomie—a feeling of friendliness among a group of people—is the atmosphere of the Pinehurst men’s bridge club known as “The Wolves,” a card-playing tradition that dates back to December 1932. A group of 16 members gather inside their cozy clubhouse for an afternoon game. It’s clear this day is about more than playing a challenging round of cards; rather, it’s about friendship and socializing.

“There’s so much camaraderie here,” says “Big Al” Coburn, one of the club’s newer members. “We tease each other all the time.”

The game of bridge is built upon that camaraderie and competition. When introduced to the U.S. in the early 1890s, bridge quickly became a favorite pastime in men’s clubs in New York City. A handful of years later, mixed games with ladies were fashionable among society’s elite. By the Great Depression the popularity of the game had spread across the county. It was the perfect no-cost diversion for millions who had little money and plenty of time on their hands.

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25

Huddled together during the 1930s in Pinehurst’s Berkshire Hotel, four members of the prestigious Tin Whistles golf group had finished their morning round. In front of the roaring fire in the dining room, they decided to establish a regular afternoon bridge game. Before long, the four members grew to 20. Overhearing them raising their voices one afternoon, a passerby is said to have likened the group to “a pack of hungry wolves.” The irony of the name appealed to the good-natured group of friends, and they adopted the moniker.

The Wolves became so popular and prestigious in their own right that the Berkshire Hotel eventually built an addition to host the club. In 1960, when the hotel was torn down, the clubhouse remained. Eventually, the Wolves bought their own lot nearby and built a modest “den.” On just about any day, there is a game or two in progress.

It’s the last Friday afternoon of the month and the club is holding the Kitteridge Tournament, named in honor of a

former member. All four tables are filled and games begin after lunch is served.

“I’ve been a Wolf since 2000,” says Roger Karcis, 84, who moved to Pinehurst from Naples, Florida. “It did take eight months for me to become a member.”

Membership in the club requires a little more than a decent knowledge of bridge. A new player is invited to partake in a few games with the members and fill out an application. Then there’s a waiting period so everyone can get a feel if the applicant is a right fit for the group to ensure the ongoing bonhomie.

Former Wolves members includes Ambassador Jack Kubish, who helped the U.S. negotiate the end of the Vietnam War at the Paris Peace Talks, and Rufus Pearson, who was the attending physician of the U.S. Congress.

The list of people who love to play bridge extends far beyond the Pinehurst Wolves. Financial giant Warren Buffet is an aficionado, as is Bill Gates. You can add to that list the members of the English rock band Radiohead.

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This particular pastime of playing bridge may also be good for your brain health. A recent large-scale clinical study in Finland in 2014 found being mentally and socially stimulated—bridge’s essential effects—were significant deterrents to cognitive decline. Another study at the University of Wisconsin-Madison reports playing cards and board games is associated with greater brain volume in several regions that are affected by Alzheimer’s disease.

Science may not know exactly how much of the benefit comes from the mental exercise and how much comes from the social engagement, but for those who play for the love of the game, it doesn’t matter.

At 82, Leonard Melander became the oldest U.S. national duplicate bridge champion in the senior division. At 89, he finished second in the Super Senior Pairs at the Fall North American Bridge Championships.

Tom Shannon, past president of the Wolves, is nearly as passionate about the subject. His eyes sparkle with every opportunity to talk about the club and the members whose company he enjoys.

Of the forms of the game, duplicate bridge is the most common played in tournaments and competitions. The Wolves prefer Chicago bridge, which is said to have been developed in the 1960s by a group of Chicago commuters who had to shorten their games to fit traveling to and from work. A recent variation called minibridge is a muchsimplified version that can be taught easily to children.

And then there’s honeymoon bridge that can be played by just two.

“The national trend is to electronics,” says Wolf Tom Kelly, 74, with a hint of regret in his voice. “Young people are playing online.”

With competition from all sorts of electronic diversions growing, the Wolves are always on the prowl for new members-men who have afternoons available with an appreciation for this timeless and challenging card game and camaraderie.

When asked if a woman has ever applied, the members become quiet, look at each other and grin, until someone quips, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

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Spicy, Sweet and Steaming Hot ... and Healthy?

by Jennifer Webster | Photography by Diana Matthews

A

s hot cider or rich cocoa warms your fingers through a glass mug, “nutritious” may not be the first word that comes to mind. Face it: if you boil six ounces of water and add a package of grocery-store hot cocoa mix, you’ll most likely be brewing up 130 calories of sugar, corn syrup, sodium, artificial flavors and modified whey—and that’s before you get to the actual cocoa. Turn to cider and the same problems emerge. Your instant hot beverage is likely to be anything but healthy.

You could select hot tea, but when your taste buds are really primed for something rich and sweet, there are plenty of ways to brew up a nutritious treat.

Hot Cocoa?

Think vegan. If you’re looking to avoid fats in your winter drink, start with a base of almond or rice milk.

Warm slowly over low heat. For every cup, add 2-3 tablespoons of cocoa flavoring.

Unsweetened cocoa powder, carob powder or semisweet chocolate chips work well. Slowly stir in 2–3 tablespoons of raw cane sugar or stevia, tasting until you reach your sweet spot.

Select a spice to make your drink more robust. Try ¼ teaspoon of vanilla or almond extract, a tiny sprinkle of cayenne pepper or a dash of cinnamon.

Epicurious.com suggests a pinch of salt to season hot cocoa, while MinimalistBaker.com uses a drop or two of peppermint extract. Experiment and enjoy!

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Sweet Cider?

Prime your vitamins.

Similar to hot cocoa, a package of apple cider mix contains mostly sugar, malic acid and maltodextrin (an artificial sweetener and preservative/ binding agent).

Make your cider from scratch and you can ensure you’re drinking real fruit (and even vegetables)! For two servings of sunsetcolored apple-carrot cider, select three large, sweet apples such as Golden Delicious, Honey Sweet or Red Delicious. Also use three medium-sized carrots.

After peeling and coring the apples and peeling and chopping the carrots, run them through a juicer. (If you don’t have a juicer, puree apples and carrots in a blender. Use “grate” setting and change to “liquefy” setting as particles become smaller. Strain.

Add up to ½ cup of water for consistency while heating.)

Add a few cinnamon sticks and warm slowly over low heat, stirring occasionally. For spice and sweetness, add ¼ teaspoon of nutmeg and two tablespoons of honey. Pour into two mugs and savor your vitamins A and C in a tasty brew.

Cranberry Cravings?

Super Spices

Leanne Vogel at HealthfulPursuit.com points out that many traditional cider spices are now known as superfoods: • CINNAMON has anti-microbial properties • CLOVES prevent against toxicity and inflammation • GINGER and CARDAMOM benefit the digestive system • STAR ANISE alleviates headaches

Try tea. Cranberries are sour—very sour. To tame the tartness, even the healthiest cranberry cider recipes you find online may include a large amount of sugar on top of already-sweetened cranberry juice cocktail. To keep your sweetener intake in check, hot cranberry drinks are one time when you may want to go with tea. Cranberry teas often start with a base of rooibos (red) tea and add flowery flavors, such as hibiscus. Others are a milder mix of apple and cranberry. Steep tea in boiling water for four minutes, add a cinnamon stick and, if you like, a spoonful of agave nectar. Pick up a good book and settle in for a pleasant afternoon.

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 29

6 to Try This

Holiday Season

by Rachel Stewart

T

he holiday season is a busy time for all, filled with travel, gift-giving, meals and fellowship. As families grow or responsibilities change, so might how you celebrate the season. Sometimes change can spur new traditions.

Other times, you may be looking for a fresh way to bring back focus to this special time of year. Here are six new traditions to consider as you prepare for the holidays with your friends, family, and neighbors.

1

Get crafty. Part of the joy of the season is making special gifts for others. Hold a weekly craft hour with friends to finish up any last minute projects and socialize with others. Gift ideas could include personalized ornaments or a mini scrapbook for the past year. Feel more at home in the kitchen? Whip up pantry staples like hot cocoa, orange tea, infused jams or fruits, so when company comes calling-with unexpected guests-you have a bit of cheer to offer before they head home.

up if it’s cold. If you’d rather stay indoors, include singing as a part of your family’s celebration.

4

Give your time. The end of the year is a popular time to give money to a variety of charities and causes.

Consider giving your time, or volunteering with loved ones or friends. It could be something as simple as serving a meal at a local soup kitchen or setting a friendly yet competitive goal to collect the most can goods or coats for the seasonal food bank drive.

2

5

3

6

Have a read along. Replace the cellphone scrolling and football game watching with a bit of story time.

Take turns reading a classic like Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” or E.T.A. Hoffman’s “The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.” Other options could include poetry or favorite passages from a spiritual text. Let company take turns reading out loud.

Lift your voice-and others’ spirits. Bring the gift of song to your neighbors’ doorstep. Going caroling through your neighborhood is also a great way to stay active and burn calories after a heavy holiday meal.

Make sure to wear comfortable, no-slip shoes and bundle

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Rethink how you connect. Sometimes distance and commitments mean that special family members can’t make it home for the holidays. Skyping, Facetiming, or calling the loved one can help ease the burden of missing them.

Remember lost loved ones. When loved ones pass on, the holidays may feel empty for you and those that loved that person. Find special ways to honor those you’ve lost. It could be continuing something special he or she did, such as cooking a particular dish or watching a favorite film.

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OutreachNC.com 31

Befriending Tradition

by Jennifer Webster Photography by Katherine Clark

S

ometimes, you may find yourself alone on the holidays.

Whether you’re isolated because of divorce, death or disagreement within your family, a “made” family of friends can provide new connections and build new holiday traditions.

That was the experience of Pam Hudson of Southern Pines. A minister, former hospice chaplain and presently in charge of stewardship for the the Clara McLean Hospitality House, part of the Foundation of FirstHealth, Hudson had celebrated Christmas with her mother until she died six years ago. To make matters harder, two of Hudson’s closest friends lost their mothers the same year. The three women took the opportunity to draw closer.

“We—Cynthia, Jo and I— made our Christmas be all of us together,” Hudson says.

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“None was related by blood, but because we had known one another for so long, we went ahead and agreed that every year, we would celebrate together.”

The new family’s first holiday was charged with difficult memories.

“It was not an easy Christmas,” Hudson recalls. “We didn’t spend as much time [as we later would] and didn’t exchange gifts, but we made the effort to get it started.

We had a prayer and there were tears, for sure, but we made the effort to be as normal as we could.”

As the years passed, Hudson’s shared Christmas grew.

“We pick up others we know of that don’t have somewhere else to be,” she says. One friend brings an adult brother with health problems from a nursing home, for instance. Other new friends joined the group over the years.

Hudson’s decision to celebrate with friends has had wider rewards than staving off holiday loneliness.

“It has has deepened our friendship,” she says.

Hudson and her friends don’t have the traditional protective circle of children, parents and spouses, so they have created their own. Their meetings now span the year, as often as they find themselves in the same place together.

“We joke together but we are serious, too,” she says.

“We go to church together and go to Cracker Barrel afterwards. If I am in town I am with them, we make time for one another and say, ‘Let us be each other’s family.’”

Hudson doesn’t often use the word “memorialize,” with its connotations of enshrining the past, she says. In her work as hospice chaplain, she has seen people hibernate and spend the holidays locked in memory and tears.

“We all feel better and carry less baggage when we give pointed, specific attention to something, take a breath with it, and go on with living,” she says. “I encourage people to pay attention to anniversaries. We may dread it, but ritual helps. For instance, my mom died on March 9. The next March 9, I went to Hardee’s and got fried chicken legs and took them to the gravesite and had a short picnic with her. I found it to be very comforting.”

New family situations may also call for new traditions.

In The Huffington Post, Kristen Houghton writes, “Some [families] decide that the customs and traditions of their childhood aren’t what they now need; still others grew up with out any real traditions but wish they had. The solution? Create your own traditions.”

Like Hudson, Houghton points out the importance of traditions in preserving memories while innovating the future.

CONTINUED PAGE 34

Something Old, Something New When we’ve experienced loss, we need to remember and respect the person or connection we can no longer see or touch. Traditions can help us hold lost loved ones in memory, while building habits and rituals that will guide us into the future.

DECEMBER 2015 |

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“

”

We make time for one another and say, ‘Let us be each other’s family.’

-Pam Hudson

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 33

“Holiday traditions become something special because of the memories associated with them,” she writes.

“Some are religious, like lighting special candles or serving ethnic foods symbolic of your faith. Others are just generic fun.”

Whether brewing a special drink or planning elaborate personalized gifts, she concludes, it isn’t as important to recreate history as to make something that is “distinctively yours.”

Where to Turn

Sometimes, though, we may feel we have no one to create tradition with. In those cases, the Internet may be our friend. Whatever a person’s social or cultural needs, they will likely find an affinity group nearby. For example, Meetup.com posts gatherings as generic as bowling sessions and as specific as humanist discussion groups. Local churches may offer holiday meals and programs.

Other people, especially those who find personal attention awkward, may prefer to seek community through serving others, especially at the holidays. That’s the path Pamela Hudson advocates. “[If you’re alone,] look outside yourself and do something for someone else,” she says. “Go work in a soup kitchen. Visit someone in a nursing home. Take staff in a nursing home doughnuts. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. A small step can take your eyes off your own feelings for a little while.”

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OutreachNC.com 35

Sweet Houses of Hope

by Diane Silcox Jarrett Photography by Diana Matthews

P

ounds and pounds of gingerbread, brightly tinted Royal icing, peppermints and gum drops-nothing can put you in the Christmas spirit quicker than a room full of such sugary treats. These treats are professionally handcrafted into bright and imaginative gingerbread houses that have been built in order to help people in need.

For 13 years, Triangle Family Services (TFS) has sponsored The Gingerbread House Benefit to raise money for their programs in the area. This year, as in the past four years, the event will be held at The Umstead Hotel and Spa on Sunday, Dec. 6. They are anticipating 20 houses this year.

Alice Lutz, chief executive officer of TFS, says that when the agency was trying to think of a fundraising event that would have a theme connected to the agency, they settled on the Gingerbread House Benefit, because one program the agency offers is finding emergency housing for those in need. The idea of a gingerbread house benefit seemed a perfect fit. Last year the event raised $180,000 for TFS programs.

Since 1937, Triangle Family Services has assisted thousands of individuals and families in the region. Some of the services the agency provides are in the areas of mental health, financial stability and family safety.

“It is amazing to me every day what our staff does here, and it is amazing the people who come in here and get their life back on track,” Lutz says. “People don’t get to see what takes place here on a day-to-day basis. When someone walks through these doors, they are going to make it.”

The people in need are who Amber Atkins, head pastry chef at Second Empire Restaurant in Raleigh, thinks about when she is in the midst of creating the restaurant’s contribution to the event.

“The last few days of putting the gingerbread house together can be a little stressful,” Atkins says. “I stop and remind myself about the people and families that are going to be helped.

That’s what it is all about.”

Prestonwood Country Club has contributed a house since the first year of the event. Todd Richter, executive pastry chef, agrees that the charity aspect of the piece is the most important.

“The charity is what the event is all about,” he says.

The staff at Once In A Blue Moon Bakery in downtown Cary also believes that the time they put into creating a gingerbread house is time well spent.

“As long as they keep having the benefit to raise money, we will be a part of it,” says Roger Dragan, owner of the bakery.

CONTINUED PAGE 38

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Triangle Family Services Development Director Angela Powell, left, and Lily Lanehart of Once in a Blue Moon Bakery in Cary readying for the 13th Gingerbread Event benefiting the nonprofit on Sunday, Dec. 6, at The Umstead Hotel and Spa in Cary. For more information, a schedule of events and tickets, call 919-821-0790 or visit www.tfsnc.org.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 36

Exactly how much time is spent creating one of these beautiful gingerbread houses is hard to calculate considering they are often the product of several creative minds developing ideas, turning the ideas into sketches, and then moving from sketches to final production.

Sometimes the ideas are knocked around starting in the summer months when Christmas seems very far away.

“We start brainstorming in July or August,” says Lily Lanehart, who is the head decorator and manager of Once In A Blue MoonBakery and works with three other decorators on the project. “We all start talking about ideas, and usually there is one that strikes us all.

Then we sketch out the house and come up with all the details we think we are going to use.”

Sketching and planning the houses is a key part when it comes to the gingerbread houses.

“Half the work is in the planning,” says Richter.

“Once that part is done, you are halfway there; it is essential to have a well thought-out plan.”

Atkins says when she and her decorators are planning their house, they may even start to come up 38

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

with ideas for next year.

“When you have a group of creative people together sharing, there are a lot of amazing ideas,” she adds.

All three agree the talented and creative people they work with are what turn the gingerbread houses into works of art.

“Each of us has their own strength,” Lanehart says.

“It depends on the house we are making who does which part.”

Last year, the team of decorators from Once In A Blue Moon created a house with an Old West theme. There were deer antlers made from pretzels, wagon wheels from Oreos and tumbleweeds made from spun sugar.

Atkins says she and her decorators use the same approach with dividing up the work.

“We work as a team,” she says. “When we combine my experience and their arts skills, it comes together much faster, and we are able to pay attention to the details that are so important.”

In 2014, the theme was a winter wedding for the Second Empire entry. A ring box was made from gingerbread, a diamond from sugar, and snowflakes from Royal Icing sprinkled in sugar.

Richter hands over the reins of the gingerbread house for the benefit to one of his decorators.

“They may ask me for advice, but it is all their work,” he says.

Prestonwood’s decorator, Corrina, won the People’s Choice Award and the Media Choice Award with a Whoville theme for 2014.

The actual hands-on work with the houses takes several weeks to complete.

After much Royal icing has been used as glue, gingerbread has been baked and dried out for a couple of days and all those important details are finished, the gingerbread houses are ready to be moved to The Umstead.

“The move is very nerve-wracking,” Dragan says. “It is a lot like moving a wedding cake. You just want to make sure it gets there in one piece.”

Atkins says they use a wide back vehicle to transport their gingerbread house to the benefit.

“We make sure we build it as structurally sound as possible and use hazard lights on the way, and bring our emergency kit, just in case,” she says, smiling.

Once the houses are safe and sound and final details are attended to, all the chefs agree they take a sigh of relief and can relax enough to enjoy each other’s talents.

“There is some amazing work that comes through those doors,” Richter says.

Each year, the chefs are treated to a breakfast buffet once their masterpieces are safely delivered. The breakfast is the first of the four events that take place surrounding the gingerbread houses.

Those who can’t wait to see the houses can come to the Sneak Preview and take their time strolling through a room where it is Christmas at every turn.

Attendees at this event get to vote on The People’s Choice Award. The winner of this award has a Christmas ornament designed from their house that can be purchased the following year.

No one enjoys gingerbread houses more than children, so an afternoon tea event is held where children can not only make their own gingerbread houses from kits, but they get to visit with Santa himself. They also get to sip hot chocolate and enjoy sweet treats made by students from Wake Technical Community College’s culinary department while the jolly old fellow reads them a story.

The Gingerbread Evening Event, an adults-only event, is when all the gingerbread houses are auctioned off to raise money for the agency.

The Gingerbread House Benefit is truly a community-driven event taking place to help those who need it the most by helping fund programs that assist 5,000 area families. It is not only the chefs and their decorators that contribute to the benefit’s success. All the behind-the-scenes work is done by volunteers.

“I have been to the Evening Benefit Event, and it is nice to just sit there for a few moments and take it all in-the music, the lights, and the houses,” Atkins says. “It makes you remember there are people in real life situations and struggles. And all you are facing are your daily stresses. It’s a good night to remember your blessings.”

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BETTER WITH AGE SERIES

by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews

1931 Ford Model A Tudor

T

his 1931 Model A Tudor is what its owner Bobby Preddy of Carthage describes as “the basic poor man’s car.” Brand new, this model sold for $542 each and was a huge success for Ford Motor Company.

“This was the model everyone had, and it came in any color you would want as long as it was black, just like Henry Ford said,” Preddy says, smiling. “Ford built so many of them and made them so affordable that everybody’s grandpa had one. People would use them to haul just about anything: wood saws, corn stalks, fishing poles hanging out of the back and even pigs.”

Preddy, who has owned this Model A for 10 years and is only the car’s third owner, has kept it in classic condition for cruising instead of hauling anything. It has been repainted but not restored, and its 4-cylinder engine can still do a comfortable 65 mph on the highway.

Refined from the first models, the 1931 Model A boasts a higher hood line and grille with a graceful curved fender, 4-wheel mechanical drum brakes, stainless steel radiator cowling and headlamp housings. The Model A was also the first Ford to sport its iconic blue oval logo.

However, what Preddy loves most of all is this classic’s horn mounted on the front.

“This horn is priceless and orginal,” Preddy says, sounding it for full efffect. “It is fun to ride around in. It’s simply timeless and commands a lot of attention.”

“

”

Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black.

—Henry Ford DECEMBER 2015 |

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The Night After

CHRISTMAS

by Jennifer Webster

This year, what gift will you give the older adult in your life?

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rapping paper rustles on the floor. Gift labels, if you’re saving them, get mixed up. You shake your head as you toss the latest sweater from a well-meaning cousin in the back of your closet or tag it for Goodwill. Or maybe you just sigh as the door closes behind the last guest, relieved to be free of the bustle but still feeling slightly blue.

On the other hand, maybe you have a new, challenging, not-too-long board game and a date to play it with a teenage friend next week. Huzzah!

The night after Christmas (or Hanukkah, or Midwinter) may be the same slightly cluttered letdown for older adults, especially those in assisted living or long-term care facilities. A pile of unneeded packages, combined with an end to merrymaking, may lead to the dumps, but the right presents can point the way to a bright next day.

The trick for gift shopping for elders is a simple twist on an old saying: Give unto others as you would have them give unto you.

As Jennifer Tyner, a certified care manager with AOS Care Management, notes, that means giving gifts that emphasize connection rather than accumulation.

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Give Gifts from the Heart

Just as you may stuff that sweater patterned with reindeer in the back of your closet, never to be worn, older adults—or those who care for them—may find some gifts burdensome.

“I never like seeing older adults receive gifts that people would need to have purchased for them anyway,” Tyner says. “Lotions, powders, shampoos— they’re like giving a kid socks or oranges. I prefer gifts that seem as if they come from the heart.”

Other gifts may delight the older adult but frustrate his or her caregivers. If the present makes work for others, forget it.

“In the past I have seen family members give their older adult relative a pet,” Tyner recalls. “The family may not think through who will walk the pet or change the litter box.”

Make Connections

Non-tangible gifts, on the other hand, may be especially welcome. Older adults who can’t get out frequently may relish the promise of a special event.

“A favorite of mine is for a caregiver or family member to take their elder to do something, such as movie or theater outing.” Tyner says. “Tickets for an event give them something to look forward to.”

If you won’t be close by again to spend time with your older adult friend or loved one, make a connection electronically, Tyner suggests.

“If they are able to participate with technology, an iPad or smartphone is a great gift, along with lessons on how to use it,” she says. “Many community colleges offer classes and one-on-one tutorials to help older adults learn technology.”

Know Their Interests

Match gifts to the recipient’s interests. For a mystery book lover, that might mean a Jo Walton mystery, where a not-so-typical English police detective solves problems in an alternate history where Britain never entered World War II. “If they have a hobby, then give them things they might need to do that hobby,” Tyner suggests. “Needles and yarn, nails and board, that kind of thing.”

For someone with dementia, an interesting present might be an apron or toolbox with lots of zippers to zip, latches to fasten and ribbons to tie. Cuddly dolls appeal to some older adults with who have dementia, Tyner notes.

Ask an Expert

If your older adult lives far away, and you aren’t familiar with his or her holiday wishes, ask someone who spends time with them regularly, such as a nursing home activities director, or visit www.aginglifecare.org to find professionals in your area, Tyner advises. Some eldercare specialists may be hired to do holiday shopping for older adults or have a family night for them.

“We do things like holiday parties and visits to communities they used to be involved in,” she says. “We might take someone to a country club he or she used to be a member, for instance.”

Specialists like Tyner can also help older adults take control over their own holiday arrangements.

“Planning a party inside a care facility or community can be important,” she says. “Last year, one client sent invitations for a party to be hosted in the facility common room. We helped her set up tea and cookies and a gift exchange.”

When it comes to gift ideas for far-away elders, it can be especially helpful for family members and local caregivers to exchange thoughts, Tyner says.

“The older adult may not be the best historian,” she notes. “They may agree to anything you offer. A family member who is very open and communicates with us about how Mother used to enjoy a certain activity is a wonderful partner in care, especially when they enable us to make plans and follow through with those plans.”

That way, the night after Christmas, your older adult will have something to look forward to, as well as to think back upon.

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5

Ways to Curb Your SUGAR Cravings

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ugar consumption is on the rise, an increase of 39 percent over the past five decades, according to the World Health Organization.

Most Americans take in three pounds of sugar every week, which tallies 156 pounds annually.

Understanding the difference between natural and added sugars can help you make healthier choices when it comes to drinking and snacking.

“Sugar can be confusing,” explains says Laura Buxenbaum, a registered dietitian and the assistant director of Nutrition Affairs for the Southeast Dairy Association. “Natural sugars are naturally-occurring fructose from fruits and lactose in milk. Added sugars are those sugars and sweeteners added to foods during processing, which makes it even more important to read food labels and understand the difference. A medium apple may have 15 grams of natural sugar in comparison to an energy drink with the same amount of added sugar.”

Sugary drinks—energy drinks, soda, sports drinks and drink mixes—are the highest contributors to sugar in the diets of most Americans, at 49 percent, compared to only 6 percent for candy, notes a 2013 study by the Center of Science in the Public Interest.

The American Heart Association suggests no more than 100 calories of sugar per day for women and 150

by Carrie Frye

calories for men. The number actually consumed is more than three times that amount.

“That’s equivalent to 6 teaspoons per day for women and 9 for men,” Buxenbaum says.

Since the sugar culprit in most diets is what people are drinking, Buxenbaum suggests five easy ways to curb your sugar cravings and lower your intake of added sugars and empty calories, including:

1 2 3 4 5

Walk. Fifteen minutes of walking or exercise provides cognitive stimulation, which takes away those thoughts of cravings.

Chew sugarless gum. Find a sugarless chewing gum you enjoy and have a piece when you have a craving for a sugary snack.

Sparkling water. Instead of soda, opt for a sparkling water that provides flavor without the added sugar.

Snack healthy. Try graham crackers and peanut butter or apples with a peanut butter whip as a healthier alternative to cookies or chips. (See recipe below.)

Chocolate milk. Milk is a leading source of calcium, and a great way to refuel after exercise instead of an energy or sports drinks.

Peanut Butter Whip with Apples This recipe is easy to scale up or down depending on how many snacks you need. Just stay with a ratio of 4 parts yogurt to one part peanut butter. Serves 2.

4 tablespoons Greek Yogurt 1 tablespoon creamy natural peanut butter ½ teaspoon honey 1 medium apple, cored and sliced into 12 wedges Combine yogurt, peanut butter, and honey in a small bowl; whisk with a fork until well blended. Serve immediately, or cover and chill until ready to use. (Yields about ¼ cup).

Divide apple wedges between two plates. Spoon 2 tablespoons of peanut butter whip onto each plate.

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Courtesy of the Southeast Dairy Association

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

COPING WITH GRIEF

Overcoming Grief During the Holiday Season

CIRQUE MUSICA

by Donna Miller, LCSW

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he rest of the world seems overjoyed with holiday spirit and yet you just want to get in bed and pull the covers over your head. You’re grieving. Perhaps your loss was quite recent or maybe it occurred years ago. All you know is that you dread this time of year and cannot wait for it to be over.

While the holidays are definitely a challenge for grievers, using these five strategies will help you feel a little less blue.

1comments. Make lists. Shop online to avoid crowds.

Plan ahead: Be prepared for the difficult questions and

Drive yourself so you can leave when you need to.

Donations, a 2memorial book, special food or meals will help you Find ways to honor loved ones:

FRI, DEC 18 | 8PM SAT, DEC 19 | 3PM & 8PM MEYMANDI CONCERT HALL, RALEIGH

This new show features your favorite holiday music and the spell-binding grace and gravity-defying feats of today’s greatest circus performers!

Weekend Sponsor

feel like they are around.

Grief has an effect on our 3physical and emotional health, as well as our heart.

Take care of yourself:

Extra sleep, relaxation and self-care are important.

It is OK 4to say no; it also OK to say you’re not “feeling” good.

Limit your activities and self-demands:

Feelings can also include emotions.

small things 5to celebrate. Volunteer or donate to Find a holiday cause.

Remember, it’s OK to be happy:

Grief is a personal experience-unique to each mourner and unique to each loss-and comes in waves, as times of peace and calm are suddenly shattered by overpowering emotion.

Utilizing these tips may help ease you through the holidays. Remember that grieving is one of the most universal of all experiences-you are not alone.

Miller, a licensed social worker with the FirstHealth Grief Resource & Counseling Center, can be reached at 910-715-6000 or visit www.firsthealth.org/hospice.

New Year’s Eve in Vienna THUR, DEC 31 | 8PM MEYMANDI CONCERT HALL, RALEIGH

North Carolina Jazz Repertory Orchestra Kick off 2016 with classic Viennese waltzes and Big Band favorites from Duke Ellington, Glenn Miller and more!

Tickets on sale now! ncsymphony.org | 919.733.2750 | 877.627.6724 See participating sponsors at ncsymphony.org/contribute

DECEMBER 2015 |

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An Old Fashioned Hard Candy Holiday

by Carrie Frye Photography by Diana Matthews

S

ince 1924, moving from Winston-Salem to Rocky Mount and finally to its current home in Nashville, Butterfields Candy was born and raised in North Carolina. In 2013, Dena Manning knew the family who owned the candy company at the time and was familiar with the famous Peach Buds and Lemon Buds, because she was buying them for her mother, who was undergoing chemotherapy.

“I was going around buying all I could find, because it was the one thing my mother could have in her mouth and enjoy the flavor after her treatments,” explains Manning.

“When I learned that the family closed the business, I was in the process of thinking about starting my own business, so I took a leap of faith.”

Manning and her supportive adult children immersed themselves in learning the hard candy-making process.

“The first thing was fixing up the machinery,” Manning says. “The equipment is original. The cutter dates back to the 1920s. That is what makes the candy unique with its distinct pillow shape for enjoying the flavor.”

Peach Buds are Butterfields’ best seller, but the array of flavors also includes cherry, honeybell, lemon, key lime and holiday, which is a colorful mix of orange, cinnamon, peppermint, spearmint, wintergreen and lime. All of the candy, including the holiday mix, is made and sold year-round, approximately 2,000 pounds every week.

“This is more than just a hard candy,” Manning says, smiling, as she surveys her team hard at work churning out a fresh batch of orange for the holiday blend. “It is unique and an experience, something different. My favorite is the key lime, but the cinnamon is really good, too.”

The candy is made from pure cane sugar with a blend that features more natural than artificial flavors. The recipes are original and have stood the test of time.

“It’s the extra sugar coating that prevents the stickiness and creates a beautiful little candy,” she says. “Making the candy is an arduous process to ensure the flavor is consistent. Every flavor is hand blended. It’s the sliver of coconut in the center of each piece that smoothes out the flavor.”

Aside from learning all aspects of making the candy step by step, Manning wears the business and marketing hats at the factory. She is completely hands-on in greeting visitors, taking orders and fielding phone calls.

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“It means everything to me when people take the time to call, and they do,” she says. “They tell me their stories, saying, ‘I remember eating this candy when I was 12,’ or ‘I remember my grandfather giving me a piece of this candy.’ It reinforces why we bought the company. It is not candy. It is an experience, and we are bringing back their memories and creating new ones.”

As the candy mixture is poured from the copper kettle, one batch is heated up to 400 degrees while being blended by hand and yields about 86 pounds or 430 three-ounces boxes.

Everything from the mixing to the cutting and packaging is done onsite in Nashville and shipped to vendors like Southern Season in Chapel Hill and numerous gift shops throughout the United States.

“We even have some restaurants purchase the candy and crush it to use in cocktails,” Manning says.

“Peach Buds for a peach bellini or Key Lime Buds in a key lime vodka libation.”

Manning designed the new packaging and artwork to better represent the candy’s true fruit flavors,

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which has made the candy great additions to gift baskets of gourmet fare.

“It is really the image and feeling of eating the fruit off the tree,” she says. “Each piece is a small work of art.”

Manning says the business side of the candy has been her greatest challenge, but one she is grateful to be pursuing.

“I always saw myself doing something like this,” she says.

“I come from a long line of entrepreneurs, and my grandmother and mother were always working. The one thing my parents always instilled in me is that I could do anything, and I want to continue that example for my children.”

That work ethic is evident in her relationship with her children. Her youngest son, Harry, is in the factory working with her every day.

“I love working with my mom … most of the time,” says Harry, grinning. “I do love making the candy, and selling it is all right, too.”

Harry is alongside Manning for shows and festivals in Atlanta, Charlotte, Richmond, across the Southeast and everywhere in between.

“

”

Once people try a piece of candy with its burst of flavor, they realize this is not your grandmother’s hard candy.

—Dena Manning

“I would have never done this without my children’s support,” Manning adds. “Harry and I may butt heads, but at the same time, it is wonderful when we reach milestones.”

Some of those milestones were getting the candy factory standards up to date with certifications and inspections to be a national seller. The next goal is to achieve certification for European standards and shipping the candies overseas.

Manning also established a partnership with food shippers to include the Buds into gift boxes from Florida orange growers.

“It is a great relationship since we are both after the same goal—to give the next generation a unique experience and help them develop an appreciation for homegrown products.”

Extending the flavors is also on Manning’s agenda as Butterfields continues to grow.

“Having grown up in Central America, there are a lot of tropical flavors that pique my interest and can stay true to the fruit, like mango and kiwi or muscadine grape for North Carolina.”

Manning’s kindness is as evident as her entrepreneurial spirit. Leftover candies are given to local community centers.

“It is like bringing in a little piece of joy,” she says.

The fall and winter seasons are Butterfields’ busiest time as it is when the humidity and temperatures are lower and prime time for making candy. It makes for an even busier holiday season, but a bright future for Manning and Butterfields.

“When all the machines are running smoothly and knowing all of the work that goes into each piece, the phone will ring, and someone will say, ‘Someone just gave me a box of Peach Buds, and Wow!’ It’s hard to ask for more than that. I would do it all over again.”

Butterfields Candy, located at 2155 South Old Franklin Road in Nashville, produces and packages all of its flavors of Buds candies onsite. For more information, call 252-459-2577 or visit www.butterfieldscandies.com.

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F

or the fifth year in a row, the Jennifer Licko Band returns for a limited run of shows in North Carolina, showcasing a wide range of Christmas music deeply rooted in the Irish tradition.

“Many of our traditional Christmas hymns are from the British Isles,” says Licko. “‘The Holly and the Ivy,’ ‘I Saw Three Ships’ and ‘The Wassail Song’ are all from England.”

For songs that do not have a Celtic origin, the band incorporates rhythmic strathspey-a dance known for four-four time-and open chords to make the selection gel with the traditional songs. This approach actually mirrors how Irish music has been passed down through the generations.

“Celtic music is passed down by oral tradition by people who love music and want to share it,” Licko says. “It doesn’t discriminate. It just grows, and every person can change it a little or try to keep it exactly as it was taught to them, but the point is that you feel connected and that you enjoy it.”

An Ever-Changing Song List To prepare for this year, the band has kept traditional songs, but have also added some new surprising selections. Each song is selected by Licko with the audience’s experience in mind.

“I feel that every song I choose should have two qualities,” she says. “It has to resonate with me personally. If it doesn’t, I can’t deliver it in a way that is enjoyable for the audience. And it must be from Celtic origin or can be arranged nicely into a Celtic style to fit what our band does best.”

Over half of this year’s musical selections will be new and feature original compositions by Licko and her guitarist, Patsy O’Brien. Traditional hymns and light-hearted Christmas classics will be interwoven with fan favorites.

“Songs like ‘Bread and Fishes’ and ‘Rebel Jesus’ have always gone over well,

by Rachel Stewart so we will repeat those this year,” she says.

“It may shock some to know we are even covering a Sheryl Crow Christmas song called ‘There is a Star.’

A CELTIC CHRISTMAS

in North Carolina

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“My keyboardist and I both felt a strong connection to this song and wanted to share it with our audiences.”

Overall, Licko hopes her band’s performances will be uplifting and bring their audiences joy during the festive season.

“Anytime I sing a Christmas song, I hope I can deliver the song with reverence so the listeners are experiencing a moment that is meaningful and remind audiences that we are celebrating the birth of Christ,” she says. “I believe music gives us the freedom to feel and belong to something higher than ourselves, and this is something we all need as human beings.”

Following the Dance Patrick Mangan is touring with the Jennifer Licko Band for the first time this holiday season, but has been a part of Riverdance since age 16, when the musical production was on Broadway. He ended up joining the show in a fulltime capacity after he graduated college in 2006.

“It’s a phenomenal show that has stood the test of time, and Bill Whelan’s music is truly a pleasure to play every night,” he says. “Riverdance is a huge part of my life, not only professionally, but personally-my wife, Natia, is a dancer in the show and we met on tour.”

Touring with Riverdance has taken Mangan across the globe-and is one of his favorite parts of being a musician.

“I consider myself very lucky to be able to see the world while doing what I love,” he says. “I love experiencing new places and making new friends along the way.”

Connecting with the audiences is another one of his joys as a musician, and he’s looking forward to being a part of the Jennifer Licko Band.

“The relationship between performer and audience is symbiotic,” Mangan says. “The energy from the audience drives me on stage and in turn, I try to project that energy right back to the crowd. I am most excited when I have a chance to play my own compositions for an audience. It is a thrill to be able to express myself in such a way through music.”

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The Jennifer Licko Band with Patrick Mangan bring “A Celtic Christmas” to venues across North and South Carolina this month. For more information, visit www.jenniferlicko.com.

DEC. 11 | NEW BERN, NC Craven Community College Dec. 12 | WASHINGTON, NC The Turnage Theater DEC. 13 | SALTER PATH, NC Saint Francis By The Sea Episcopal Church DEC. 14 | HARTSVILLE, SC The Center Theater DEC. 15 | CARY, NC The Cary Theater DEC. 16 | SOUTHERN PINES, NC Weymouth Center DEC. 17 | LANCASTER, SC The Lancaster Cultural Arts Center DEC. 18 | ROCKY MOUNT, NC The Dunn Center: Powers Recital Hall DEC. 19 | WRIGHTSVILLE BEACH, NC Wrightsville United Methodist Church

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Where the Melodies Started I grew up in a musical family. My mother is a piano teacher and my aunt is a Scottish dance teacher, so for me, the music and dance began very early and I knew my life would never be complete without music. My first live performance was at age 5 in church. I remember writing songs for elementary school projects and my mother would help me write out the music on manuscript paper. She was always there to support me when I showed interest.

—Jennifer Licko, Vocalist I started playing the violin at the age of 5 in public school in Brooklyn, New York. My parents exposed me to all sorts of music, especially Irish music, from a very young age, playing albums at home and taking me around to music festivals when I was still in a stroller. I owe a lot to them, for helping me develop an open mind and open ears to all kinds of great music.

—Patrick Mangan, Violinist I was bitten by the guitar bug at 11 or so. Never looked back! I gobbled up any genre with a guitar in it. Although I'm not from a musical background, my mother sang along with the radio as she did housework. It's one of my earliest memories.

—Patsy O'Brien, Guitarist I started singing when I was 3. My mum played the piano and managed to play every song with three chords. I've done the same ever since.

—Bob Noble, Keyboardist & Producer CONTINUED FROM PAGE 53

Mangan recently released an album of original work entitled “Departures” that will be available during the A Celtic Christmas tour. The album reflects Mangan’s roots in Irish music but features other world music influences, inspired by his life on the road.

A Happy Homecoming Licko, a North Carolina native, is happy to share her gift of song in a place that is very dear to her heart.

“There’s no place like home for the holidays! I live in Brazil now, and have moved to different states or countries over the past 16 years,” she says. “North Carolina is my solid ground, my foundation, my roots. It’s the place I always return to and is always there to keep me grounded and provide me with comfort. It has made me who I am, and I’m proud to call North Carolina my forever home.”

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Carolina Conversations

J E F F CAPEL

J

by Thad Mumau | Photography Courtesy of Duke Photography

eff Capel is a household name among basketball fans in this part of North Carolina. The Duke University associate head basketball coach was a star at South View High School in Fayetteville and started 105 games during his four-year career with the Blue Devils.

Capel was named the North Carolina 4-A player of the year in 1993 after averaging 23.8 points per game and leading South View, coached by Ron Miller, to a 31-1 record and the state championship.

At Duke, Capel averaged 12.4 points and 3.4 assists over four years, playing for Mike Krzyzewski.

His father, Jeff II, has been a college head coach and NBA assistant. His brother, Jason, was a standout basketball player at the University of North Carolina.

ONC: Many youngsters grow up dreaming of a career in sports. How old were you when you realized that could be a reality for you?

JC: I dreamed of a career in sports for as long as I can remember. As you can imagine, the dream was always to play. I never imagined myself coaching when I was young. I don’t know if that was because my dad was a coach, or just because I only thought of playing. I dreamed of playing in the NBA and then joining the front office after my playing career was over and eventually, becoming a general manager. That was the vision I had for myself from the time I was a kid.

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What was it like, growing up in a family where basketball was such a large part of life?

I have amazing parents who have taught me so many lessons. My dad was a coach and a teacher. My mom was a volleyball coach and a teacher. My grandfather (Mom’s dad) was a college football coach and a professor. My other grandfather (Dad’s father) owned his own business and was in politics. So I grew up around coaching and teaching and giving back. From as early as I can remember, we had teams or members of teams over at our house. My babysitters when I was growing up were my dad’s players. When I turned 5 years old, I met my best friend when my brother was born, and we have remained best friends since. So a lot of what we did revolved around basketball. Being a boy and the first born, I always wanted to be around my dad.

That meant I was in a gym a lot. I have always been around teams. My dad was a high school coach until I was in sixth grade. He then was an assistant at Wake Forest University for three years. I was a ball boy for the teams he coached until eighth grade. I was probably the worst ball boy ever because all I wanted to do was shoot! Dad then became a college head coach at his alma mater, Fayetteville State University. When I look back at my childhood, I realize how my life was shaped by the coaching profession and sports. It taught me so many valuable lessons that I use to this day.

When did you see your future was as a coach?

I started getting the itch to coach around the age of 23. I had finished up my career at Duke, and was still pursuing my dream of making the NBA. I had an injury and very serious illness after I finished college, the latter causing me to miss a season my second year out of college. It was during that year when I started thinking about coaching.

I was around my dad’s team at Old Dominion University, and I began to appreciate what he did and the impact he had on kids’ lives at a greater level. As my health improved, Coach K created a spot on his staff during the 1999 season. I got to sit in on coaches’ meetings and practices, which gave me an inside and different look on how Duke basketball operated. More than anything, I knew I wanted to have a chance to impact the lives of young people.

Did your dad talk with you about the negatives, as well as the positives, of coaching as a career?

When I started thinking about trying to get into the coaching profession, my father was very honest with me.

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To be clear, he did not really want me to choose a career in coaching. But when he realized the passion I had for doing it, he gave me my first opportunity in the profession by hiring me as one of his assistants at Old Dominion University. I learned so much from him and the other members of the staff my first year working for him.

Describe your relationship with Mike Krzyzewski when you played for him.

I had a very good relationship with Coach when I played for him. Coach was the reason I chose Duke. I felt a connection with him. He was someone I felt I could trust from Day One. To be honest, he reminded me so much of my dad because of his military background since my dad was in the Army, and his brutal honesty. I loved that.

I made my decision to come to Duke in April of my junior year of high school. That was 1992. So I have known and had a relationship with Coach over half of my life. The lessons I learned as a player at Duke are things that I use every day of my life as a husband, father, son, brother, friend and now, a coach. As good as I thought it would be when I chose to play for Duke, it has been 100 times better.

Tell us how different that relationship was when you joined his staff as one his assistants.

The relationship evolved from playercoach to a friendship. How cool is that?

That started happening as I got older in the program as a player. As we spent time and went through so many things together, the trust went to a different level. We knew each other more.

As one of his assistants now, it is a friendship. Never in a million years, when I was 17 years old making my college decision, did I ever imagine the coach I chose to play for would become a very close friend, someone that I would have a very close relationship with 23 years later.

That relationship didn’t just happen because I work for him. It’s something that Coach cultivates and works on.

Relationships are very important to him.

Why do you think Coach K is so successful?

He has been so successful because he is constantly trying to learn and get better. He is willing and understands you have to adapt. He never has thought he has arrived; he’s always trying to become. He understands how to be in the moment and has the ability to be in the moment with each kid or team he’s coaching. And it is never about his moment, always about being in their moment. He has created an environment at Duke where everyone involved

from the players, managers, support staff, administration, university, students, the Duke community-feels Duke basketball is theirs. We all feel like we own it. That is very difficult to do. He develops these relationships with people where we trust him. We believe in him. We believe in his vision.

He is able to do this because of how much he believes in you, and how much he trusts you. It is very hard to describe but easy to understand when you’re around him, which makes him the most incredible leader I have ever been around.

You were a successful Division I head coach—seemingly the goal of any young coach. Why did you return to Duke?

I returned as an assistant quite simply because I was fired as a head coach.

But it has been the greatest thing for my career, to be honest with you. This upcoming season will be my seventh overall as an assistant coach. I was a head coach for nine years. I had two years of experience as an assistant before I became a head coach at 27 years old. I have learned so much during my four years back here at Duke.

What is the best part of coaching for you?

My favorite part is the relationships with the players and using the experiences I’ve had as a player, the lessons I’ve learned, to help them grow.

To see the men they become. To help them make a dream become a reality. It is so cool to see when a kid finally “gets it.” Like Quin Cook did this past year for us. He grew up and became this amazing leader, this amazing teammate.

He gave so much to our team and to the young guys on our team. It was so beautiful and gratifying to see.

I remember your shot just inside half-court against Carolina. What are your biggest thrills in basketball?

Winning the state championship with my high school team at South View Senior High is one of them. Starting in the Final Four as a freshman and playing for the national championship is one. The Final Four was in Charlotte, so that was incredibly cool being that I grew up in this state. Winning the ACC regular season my senior year was one of my biggest thrills because of all that we had been through as a program my sophomore and junior seasons.

It was a group that was not the most talented, but we were the most together, the toughest, and we got the most out of the talent we had. My second year as a head coach at VCU is one of my favorite thrills. To win the regularseason championship and conference tournament to qualify for the NCAA tournament was amazing. It truly is one of my favorite teams I coached because those kids believed and trusted me completely. It was during that season that I coached my first conference player of the year, Dominic Jones, and my first rookie of the year, Nick George. My third year at Oklahoma was one of my biggest thrills. I felt we were as good as anyone in the country.

We advanced to the Elite 8 and lost to a great North Carolina team. That year I had a chance to coach the National Player of the Year in Blake Griffin.

Blake went on to become the No. 1 pick in the 2009 NBA draft and has become one of the best players in the world. Finally, winning the national championship this past season has been the most amazing. It was the most selfless and special group of guys I have ever been around.

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 55

GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 58

Advent Angel Baby Bells Camel Candy Card Carol Child Crib Donkey

Eggnog Elves Fir Gloria Gold Ham Holy Icicle In the Bleak Midwinter Inn

31. Annoyance 32. Kitten’s cry 34. Finger jewelry with a signet (2 wds) 37. Total destruction 39. Short postscript to a literary work 41. Big Apple attraction, with “the” 42. “Schindler’s ___” 43. “To ___ is human ...”

45. Dutch pottery city 49. Bank offering, for short 50. Declaration of intent to inflict harm 53. French Sudan, today 54. Medicinal shrub 56. “Flying Down to ___” 58. Big wine holder 59. Simultaneously (4 wds) 63. Quaker’s “you” 64. Affording gain 65. Reddish-brown gem 66. Poet Angelou 67. 1992 Robin Williams movie

DOWN

ACROSS 1. Beer buy 5. Computer picture 9. Junk E-mail 13. Those who appeal a court decision

56

1. Royal home 2. Temporary interruption in breathing 3. Floods 4. “A rat!”

16. Goya’s “Duchess of ___” 22. Bad look 5. Go furtively 24. Brightly colored 17. Treacherous person 6. Don’t believe it venomous snakes of SE Asia 7. Queen, maybe (4 wds) 19. “Sesame Street” watcher 27. Clavell’s “___-Pan” 8. ___ power 28. Artist’s stand 20. Chain letters?

9. Delhi dress 30. Clinker 21. Describes in vivid detail 10. Banana variety

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

Ivy Jesus Joy Lord Magi Mary Mass Noel Pie Pine Punch Red Sauce Sherry Sing Sled Sleigh Star Tidings Toys Xmas Yule

11. Fast 12. Coming together to form a group 14. Certain digital watch face, for short 15. Aug. follower 18. Neon, e.g.

23. Change from solid to liquid again 25. Spartan 26. “I had no ___!”

29. Rotating to the left, shortened 31. For the time being 33. Card 35. Store convenience, for short 36. Emulated Pinocchio 37. Fiasco 38. Litigant 39. Evokes 40. Carnivorous freshwater fish 44. Make less dense 46. Ritual hand washing during Mass 47. Without showing any emotion or interest 48. Voluntary contributions to the church 50. 20-20, e.g.

51. Door fastener 52. Leg bone 55. Abandon 57. Crumb 60. Branch 61. Bygone bird 62. “Dig in!”

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OutreachNC.com 57

GREY MATTER ANSWERS

SUDOKU

advice

PLANNING AHEAD

7 End-of-Year Financial Tips

by Bob Rauf

T CROSSWORD

he end of the year is as good a time as ever to take a comprehensive look at your finances. Now is the time to reflect on the financial decisions you made in 2015 and to begin thinking about your financial goals for 2016. Having a plan in place can help you feel more secure about your financial situation, better protect you from the unexpected and preserve what you’re working so hard to achieve. Here are some financial planning tips to help you finish this year strong:

year, companies offer 1new and existing employees enrollmentEvery periods, which often include Understand your benefits at work.

changes or revisions. Know your options and select what’s best for you.

Max your MATCH if you have employer-sponsored plans. This is an automatic savings device. Don’t leave money on the table if you are eligible.

2

3

Update your will and insurance information to reflect life changes, such as marriage or new children. That includes

beneficiaries with your employer insurance and your personal insurance. Review these documents annually to be sure they are current and accurate.

Review and update your personal insurance needs. This includes life insurance, disability insurance and long-term care insurance. Are you covered for the unexpected and do you have the right amount of coverage?

Review and update your investment portfolios annually. As markets fluctuate and returns change, be sure your asset allocation reflects your current risk tolerance and overall objectives.

Create a budget or review your cash flow. You should really address this on a monthly basis to make sure you stay on track.

Know where your money goes so you don’t overspend and create debt.

The goal is to keep your savings on track.

Consult with a financial professional. If you do not have one, find one. It’s no different than meeting with your doctor for an annual physical, your dentist for a cleaning, or your tax professional to be sure your deductions are accurate. It’s all about having a plan and staying on track for your long-term financial security.

4 WORD SEARCH

5

6 7

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

Article prepared by Rauf with the cooperation of Northwestern Mutual. Rauf is the owner of Meridian Financial in Raleigh and Northwestern Mutual wealth management advisor. He can be reached at Bob.Rauf@nm.com

life

B E L L E W E AT H E R

Trying to Break the Holiday-Party Dress Code

by Celia Rivenbark

I

love everything about holiday parties except for the dress code, which I’m never quite sure how to get right. If, for example, the invitation specifies “business casual” I’m truly at a loss.

I work from home, so does this mean MY business casual, which would be a leopard-print robe over a “Crazy Cat Lady” T-shirt and sweat pants?

Somehow, that doesn’t seem right.

The vague “holiday attire” could be anything from that deeply discounted blinking Rudolph sweat shirt on the end cap at CVS to a classic Stella McCartney gown in Christmas red. I DON’T KNOW. It’s times like this-and only times like this-when it would be nice to be Kim Jong Un. Holiday party? He thinks he’ll just wear the mandarin-collar pajamas in cell-gray. Just like he does every single day of his life.

Or, bless her heart, Whoopi Goldberg, who attends everything from state dinners to the Oscars in an oversized white Oxford shirt and a black maxi skirt big enough to hide a half-dozen HoneyBaked Hams.

Or Lady Gaga, who would interpret “holiday attire” as the perfect excuse to skin a polar bear and wear it. (Don’t look so shocked, Tony Bennett; we tried to tell you she was a little crazy).

Deciphering the holiday dress code baffles men, too, but they don’t seem bothered by it.

Getting ready for a “holiday attire” party the other night, I carefully combined black lace palazzo pants with a sparkly gold wrap top and some vintage rhinestone earrings. There.

I go into the bedroom and there’s Duh Hubby, wearing pale-wash Wrangler jeans, a rugby shirt

that screamed “Oxford” that we got on vacation last summer and Jesus sandals.

“I’m ready!” he says.

Lord, don’t let me kill him ’til the house is paid for.

One of my least favorite designations is “Creative Black Tie,” which is confusing to women and men alike. Of course, I had to Google the term to make sure we didn’t get it wrong and one of the definitions was “a more modern interpretation of a tux, perhaps with a black shirt and no tie.”

I think it would be hilarious to let your modern interpretation be no shirt and a black tie. There’s even something called “Texas Black Tie,” which calls for formal wear accented by, I’m not kidding, oversized belt buckles and cowboy boots.

Other states should follow suit.

Here in my home state, “North Carolina Black Tie” could be a regular tuxedo with a basketball jersey subbing in for the shirt. In Florida, you could replace the cummerbund with a very short New Jersey transplant tied around your waist. Colorado Black Tie could be a tux made entirely of hemp and in West Virginia...oh, who am I kidding; nobody wears a tuxedo in West Virginia.

Maybe we’re all confused. Last year’s White House Christmas party dress was “wintry mix.” Which just leaves me cold.

Rivenbark is the author of seven humor collections. Visit her website at www.celiarivenbark.com. ©2015 Celia Rivenbark. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 59

life

COOKING SIMPLE

Vegetable Tart

by Rhett Morris Photography by Diana Matthews

Ingredients 1 medium sweet potato, sliced into 1-inch thick pieces 2 large red potatoes, sliced into 1-inch thick pieces 1 medium onion, sliced into 1-inch thick pieces 3 parsnips, sliced into 1-inch thick pieces 4 cloves garlic, cut in half 3 tablespoons olive oil 1 sprig fresh rosemary, chopped 6 fresh sage leaves ½ cup sugar 2 tablespoons water 1 tablespoon white vinegar 1 cup grated mozzarella 1 8.5-ounce sheet of puff pastry

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Arrange sweet potatoes, red potatoes, onions, parsnips and garlic on a baking sheet and coat with olive oil, salt and pepper.

Cook for 30-40 minutes until brown and softened.

While vegetables are cooking, heat sugar and water over medium heat until sugar dissolves and starts to turn brown. Remove from heat, add vinegar, stir and set aside.

After vegetables cook, set and let cool. Get a 6x6 baking dish and pour sugar mixture in bottom and spread to cover. Put rosemary and sage on top of that. Layer vegetables in baking dish next followed by a layer of mozzarella. Cut puff pastry 2 inches larger than dish. Roll out if necessary. Put on top of vegetables and tuck into sides. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes, then 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Take out and let cool slightly. Put plate on top of baking dish and turn over to serve.

60

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, is an awardwinning chef, specializing in Southern gourmet fare with fresh ingredients.

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life

G E N T L E M A N ’ S N OT E B O O K

Pecans, a Tradition Worth Preserving

by Ray Linville

W

hen I was driving recently through rural Georgia, I began to pass rows and rows of pecan trees. Although we don’t see many today in central North Carolina, I could recognize them because my back yard when I was growing up had one, among other nut and fruit trees.

Pecan trees are majestically tall, sometimes rising higher than 125 feet. With solid trunks and branches spreading outwards up to 75 feet, they are a sight to behold when planted in row after row on a huge swath of rural land.

Because pecans are native to the southern United States as well as Mexico, they have an important role in food traditions that date back generations. A pecan pie has sweetened many a meal and long provided the perfect end for dinners made at home.

Although North Carolina is on the northern fringe of the commercial pecan-producing region of the United States, many families still tell stories of how pecans were an important part of their lives. For example, for the wealthy during colonial times, pecans were a delicacy.

In contrast, the pecan was also a means of survival for other families during lean times and in poorer circumstances. My mother grew up as a sharecropper in an eastern county, and I can only imagine how she and her siblings had to forage for nuts as her family sought to add something healthy to a diet of cornmeal, molasses and fatback, typical of many sharecropping families.

After she married my dad and they owned a house, she was determined never to live again without having fresh fruits and vegetables-and nuts-in her yard. Within a few

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015

years, she had overpopulated the small back yard with a tree of almost every favorite-pear, peach, apple, plum, damson (a plum subspecies), walnut, cherry, and yes, a pecan.

As the trees grew and crowded each other out, some such as pear, peach, apple and damson struggled to bear fruit.

The two nut trees thrived in their limited spaces, but each year, we lost most of the nuts to squirrels who were quicker to gather them than I was. However, we always had enough to make pies after each season without having to resort to “storebought” nuts.

Many people, some native Southerners and others who are recent arrivals, argue seriously about how to pronounce the word “pecan.” Most are unaware that the word was spoken originally by Algonquians, the Native Americans who introduced the nut to others who arrived after crossing the Atlantic Ocean during the colonial period.

The way “pecan” is pronounced is a sign of regional and cultural heritage, not linguistic correctness (unless learned directly from the Algonquians). How we pronounce the word is not as important as remembering that the pecan is part of our food heritage and has been enjoyed for generations.

Now, please pass me a piece of pecan pie and tell me about your tradition.

Retired from the N.C. Community College System, Linville is a contributing writer for the N.C. Folklife Institute and conducts programs on Southern food, history and culture. He can be reached at linville910@gmail.com.

life

THE NONAGENARIAN

It Depends on Your Point of View

by Glenn A. Flinchum

T

he last time I counted I had twelve greatgrandchildren, ranging in age from pre-kindergarten to post-high school. One of the things I have observed about these youngsters is their total individuality when it comes to likes, dislikes, appearance and personalities.

However, there is one trait they all have in commonthey’re all as busy as bees around a honeysuckle vine. When not in school, they’re involved in all kinds of activities, such as: Scouts, Little League, band, softball, swimming, you name it, they’re involved. And when not involved in some kind of organized activity, their heads are usually buried in an iPhone, iPad or some other electronic gadget.

While it’s great that today’s youngsters have these many opportunities to develop and enrich their lives, there is one question that troubles me a little: when do they have time to just be kids and do the things that kids do when exercising their imaginations?

When comparing my own growing up years with today’s standards, I probably would have been classified as an under-privileged child. How could we have survived without the benefit of TV, iPhones, computers and (horrors!) no video games? Growing up in the country, I had few opportunities to take part in group activities.

What I did have is time to come up with my own activities and to be as creative as I wanted to be. For instance, there was time to roam the fields and woods around my house

with my faithful dog at my side and my BB gun under my arm, flushing out an occasional rabbit or covey of quail.

There was also time to build a fort with the help of my friends, where we were prepared to defend against bandits, pirates or whoever the enemy du jour might be.

There was time to ride my favorite horse, Dan, down a wooded trail and when out of sight of the house, try some tricks I had seen the cowboys do in the latest Western movie. My favorite trick was one where the cowboy takes a running start, puts his hands on the horse’s rump and vaults into the saddle. I tried that stunt numerous times but always wound up colliding with the horse’s rear end.

Finally, there was the time spent sitting in the front porch swing on a warm afternoon, reading about the exciting adventures of Tom Sawyer, Robinson Crusoe, the Hardy Boys and many others, as I re-lived their experiences in my own imagination.

Now that I think about it, maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t such an under-privileged kid after all. I suppose it all depends on your point of view.

Flinchum is a former head of the State Office of Vital Statistics in Raleigh, worked at the National Center for Health Statistics in Washington, D.C., is a retired Army major and World War II veteran. He can be reached at info@outreachnc.com.

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DECEMBER 2015 |

OutreachNC.com 63

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OutreachNC.com 65

Generations

by Carrie Frye

OutreachNC asked adults and children our December question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

What is your favorite holiday tradition?

When I was little, Mom made a big deal about the tree.

I remember tramping through Christmas tree farms for the perfect tree and decorating it together. —Shirley, 70 Going to the movies on Christmas, because there is always a good Christmas movie. —Dave, 64 The boys and I would go out in the woods to cut our Christmas tree. I also remember finding out Santa wasn’t real! —Howard, 93 My favorite holiday tradition is having the family all together around the dinner table. — Joan, 90

All the family gathering at my house every Christmas day. —Etta, 80 Getting together with family and friends during the holidays. —Mae, 94 My parents emigrated from Europe, so there was not much money.

Every year, the town had a big Christmas tree in the center and Santa would come and give each of us a stocking. That was the best gift ever!

—Mimi, 87

Momma wrapping presents. One year Daddy gave Momma a new car! —Sheila, 59 Getting a real Christmas tree and decorating it with the family on Thanksgiving Day. —Kaye, 63

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OutreachNC.com OutreachNC.com || DECEMBER DECEMBER2015 2015

A long nap after a big meal. —

Charles, 93

When the children were little, Ernie would make them all wait at the top of the stairs until he was certain he could hear Santa on the roof. Then they would run down the stairs so excited. —Nancy, 85, & Ernie, 90 Getting presents, having a sleepover with snacks, watching football and celebrating Jesus’ birthday. —Adean, 8 Hanging up the stockings and mistletoe. —Tristan, 8 My favorite traditions are celebrating the birth of Jesus, decorating the tree, making cookies and seeing where my Elf on the Shelf is. I love to have snow ball fights and make snow angels. —Alyson, 8 When my dad visits me, we decorate, wrap presents for others and go sledding down a huge hill in our driveway. And most of all, I love presents, family and especially celebrating Jesus’ birth. —Brooke, 8 When it snows, you get to sled. At night I go to my grandpa’s to get presents, and then I go to a dog shelter and get a dog. —Naliyah, 8 What you wish for might come true, but Santa isn’t going to come if you are naughty and you are going to get mad at yourself for what you did and you will be good next time. —Elijah, 8 Celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, and I like to decorate the house and tree with my family. I also like my Elf on the Shelf named Frodo. When I was 4, he got his hands burned on the lamp, but he is OK now. —Carlie, 8 I like all of the presents, but Christmas isn’t about the presents. It’s about the birth of Jesus and spending time with my family. —Victoria, 8 I like to go sledding, and if there is snow, you can make snow balls to throw at your brother. —Gavin, 8 We play baseball, we watch football and my dad takes us on walks through the woods when it is very cold.

—Heather, 8

Undecorating the Christmas tree.

—OutreachNC Co-editor Jeeves, 2

Legal Family Housing Advocacy Financial Local Resources Crisis Intervention Care Coordination Our Aging Life Care Professionals™ have the expertise you need to age with success Call us today. We can help!

Cary 919.535.8713

Chapel Hill 919.608.7533

Fayetteville 910.639.9420

Southern Pines 910.692.0683

AgingOutreachServices.com DECEMBER 2015 | OutreachNC.com 67

THE WONDERFUL PAIRING. DINNER AND YOU. What would you say to wonderful dining options, menus, selection, and well, no more cooking or dishes?

At Pine Knoll, the accredited, full service retirement community, you have the freedom to do anything you want, anytime, because everything is taken care of: amenities, services, staff, dining, and healthcare. Be our guest and tour smartly designed one- and two-bedroom apartments, villas, and cottages. To see how your life can be more fulfilling, call 910.246.1023, or email info@sjp.org.

Welcome.

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2015 590 Central Drive, Southern Pines, NC 28387 - 910.246.1023 - sjp.org A member of the St. Joseph of the Pines Aging Services Network continuing the legacy of the Sisters of Providence.