Queering Mental Health :: Volume 3

Queering Mental Health

Setting Boundaries

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Art as Mental Healthcare

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No Bad Vibes

Queering Mental Health Contents Volume 3

EDITORIAL Publishers: Maggie Phillips, Addison Herron-Wheeler, & Steven Haden Editor: Addison Herron-Wheeler ART Creative Director: Rachel Galstad MARKETING & SALES Brianna Armstrong, Maev Deliz, Quincey Roisum

COPY EDITOR Keegan Williams CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Addison Herron-Wheeler, Brian Aragon-Shafi Byrdsong, Brianna Janae, Denny Patterson, Erica Buehler, Keegan Williams, Rachel Galstad CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Alli Broderick, Jack Balas

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From the Publisher Q is for Questioning Lean On Me Awards: Dafna Michaelson Queer Exclusivism No Bad Vibes Lean On Me Awards: OMNI Institute Jack Balas Profile Minding the Business that Pays Drawing The Line Alli Broderick Profile Recovery is Not a Fixed Experience Risk to Reward Harm Reduction Navigating Loss Somatic Therapy Datta Matters

Trigger warning: The stories in this insert contain themes of mental health issues, substance misuse, and suicidal ideation. envision -you.org 3

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Mental Health

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t is my pleasure to introduce the third annual Queering Mental Health Edition. This year, the teams at Envision:You and OFM have prepared a new collection of articles to highlight LGBTQ+ mental health stories, resources, and tips for supporting wellness in the community.

I hope the content we have included will give you new tools to support your wellness and inspire you to pursue self-care in ways that work best for you. As you continue down your own mental health journey, please know that you are never alone, and support is always available.

Envision:You’s LGBTQ+ State of the State Survey released earlier this year has further emphasized the need to bring queer mental health into the spotlight.

Nearly half of LGBTQ+ Coloradans have unmet mental health needs, and our community continues to experience increased challenges accessing affirming healthcare. Additionally, over one-third of survey respondents reported a loss of their support systems due to the pandemic.

Warmly, Steven Haden (he/him) Co-Publisher, Queering Mental Health Chief Executive Officer, Envision:You

At Envision:You, we are committed to finding new ways to close gaps in behavioral health outcomes for LGBTQ+ individuals. In the following pages, you will learn more about our work and a new program launching this year to support caregivers of queer and questioning youth. While our efforts to educate community members and train providers can make a significant impact, the community also relies on support from one another to ensure we all can thrive.

As you read through the 2022 Queering Mental Health Edition, think about how you can use this information to support your own well-being and the well-being of those closest to you. Talking about mental health can be difficult and unsettling, but the more we share our experiences and check in with one another, the more we break down the stigma that prevents so many of us from addressing mental health concerns.

Tips to support these conversations can be found at envision-you.org/how-to-have-the-talk.

Photo courtesy of Samantha Markey

If you or anyone you know is experiencing an emotional or mental health crisis, please contact COLORADO CRISIS SERVICES by calling 844-493-8255, or text TALK to 38255. envision -you.org 5

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olding true to Envision:You’s vision, focused on improving LGBTQ+ mental health and helping folks in the community to better navigate the world, the nonprofit is turning its attention to LGBTQ+ youth and their families with its new program, Q is for Questioning.

Chief Executive Officer Steven Haden says Envision:You informs new programs through community feedback, referencing input from clinicians, the lived experiences of community members surrounding a child’s coming out, and the impacts and aftermath for the child and their family as the inspiration for Q is for Questioning.

Haden says this feedback showed that most parents, even the most compassionate ones, often have no idea what to do once their child comes out. He adds that in many cases, families and children live in communities that aren’t necessarily supportive, either.

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“What we also know is that about 40% of homeless youth identify as part of the queer community,” Haden says. “So that's really important, and what that tells us is that when children do come out, in most places in the country, they're displaced from their homes.”

In addition, Haden notes that, within 72 hours of going to the streets, many homeless youth engage in harmful activities, oftentimes out of survival, and become more susceptible to human trafficking, sexual or physical abuse, and substance use.

Haden believes that most parents want the best for their child and poses the question, “How can we create a program that would help educate parents and caregivers?” It’s especially relevant, given research from the Trevor Project and others that shows just one supportive adult in a queer youth’s life reduces the likelihood or suicide and self-harming behaviors substantially.

Envision:You’s New Q is for Questioning Program

Interview with Chief Executive Officer Steven Haden and Program Manager Brad Barfield

by Keegan Williams

The program itself is a series of interactive workshops to be produced in communities across Colorado, featuring a panel discussion by a licensed clinician, someone from the community with lived experience, and an Envision:You team member. The team also hopes to include someone from one of the regional community behavioral health centers or local department of health to participate in these conversations.

along with the culture as a whole, and one of the best parts about the program is its ability to grow and change. Especially given the plentiful conversations surrounding gender variance and the broad spectrum of LGBTQ+ identity, family members sometimes have a bit of catching up to do.

Program Manager Brad Barfield notes that an additional benefit of the program is creating a network for families, parents, and caregivers to recognize that they are not alone in these discussions and provide support with others looking for the same resources, ultimately building the spheres of influence within individual families.

“I’m just really excited to show who we are, where we come from, and what makes us unique, for those parents and caregivers and the kids in their lives,” Barfield says.

“So, not only does that child not feel so isolated, but ( families) are able to support each other in their own environment, and I think that’s one of the things that we’re really excited about with this system and what tools, knowledge gathering, and sharing can do,” Barfield says. Ultimately, the community piece is just as important as the elements of education.

It’s Envision:You’s goal that folks walk away from the program not only with better resources to care of the young queer person in their life but to also have the tools to continue those conversations with one another and within their own circles.

Haden says that, yes, there are training programs out there, but Envision:You’s Q is for Questioning hones in on high-quality, evidence-based work, which he says could ultimately be used in other areas of the country, creating a solution for training providers in other states.

Should the conversation around folks in the LGBTQ+ community continue to evolve, which it surely will, Q is for Questioning is set up to grow alongside it.

Ultimately, Haden and Barfield both harp on the fact that these symptoms, the trauma, and after effects that queer youth face from not being supported and affirmed, or even shunned and kicked out, not only create harm for them in the present but can ripple for years and years into adulthood.

Haden specifically points to Colorado having one of the highest youth suicide rates in the country.

“When I think about a 13-year-old who’s lost hope for a better day, it’s heartbreaking. It is what personally propels me, and I think most members of the team, to show up and do this work every day,” Haden says. “We want young people to believe that there’s somebody who cares about them; there’s resources there that are going to support their life; there’s an opportunity to build community with people that care about them, even if it’s not their biological family.”

“We know, through our own research and conversations within the community, that what does exist is not solving the problem,” Haden says. “And now, we don't purport to have a miracle cure here, but what we believe is that we're creating an evidencebased training program with quality content.”

Barfield also encourages anyone working at organizations who want to get involved with the program to reach out at info@envision-you.org to see how they can get connected and participate in this inspiring work. Q is for Questioning is just one step to begin making that difference and reducing the number of young people who have lost hope. The program’s workshops begin this summer.

Barfield also points to the fact that being a queer kid is an ever-evolving and shifting experience,

To learn more about Q is for Questioning, visit envision-you.org/q-is-for-questioning. envision -you.org 7

Photo by Ali Bibbo

Lean On Me Award Representative Dafna Michaelson

by Denny Patterson

Representing House District 30 in the Colorado State Legislature, Dafna Michaelson Jenet was elected in 2016, unseating republican incumbent JoAnn Windholz.

Since taking office, her legislative work has been focused on youth, healthcare access, and mental health. Some of her key accomplishments include sponsoring HB18-1245, which eliminated the practice of conversion therapy on minors, creating the Office of the Behavioral Healthcare Ombudsman, helping lower the age of consent for minors from 15 to 12 for behavioral healthcare services, and passing HB201411, which set aside funding for receiving mental health services during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Michelson Jenet also sponsored the Insurance Coverage Mental Health Wellness Exam Act, which allows all Coloradans to access an annual mental health examination covered by insurance, and she supported Rapid Mental Health Response for Colorado Youth, which provides three free therapy sessions to the state’s youth. This led to the creation of the “I Matter” program.

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Because of the representative’s commitment to advancing mental health equity, she will be the 2022 recipient of Envision:You’s individual Lean On Me Award.

Envision:You honors mental health leaders, allies, and advocates with this award every year at their annual Garden Party at the Denver Botanic Gardens. This year’s event will be Saturday, July 23.

“We are honored to present the individual Lean on Me Award to Colorado State Representative Dafna Michaelson Jenet,” Envision:You CEO and Co-founder Steven Haden says. “She has been a strong ally and advocate for mental health throughout her time in the legislature, and this year, she has continued her efforts by introducing bills to improve residential behavioral health services and prevent identity-based violence. Representative Michaelson Jenet recognizes the disproportionate impact of behavioral health challenges on vulnerable communities, and consistently creates policy that can offset disparities and improve the health and well-being of all Coloradans.”

OFM caught up with the representative to talk more about why mental health is such a pivotal issue.

Representative, how does it feel to be this year's recipient of Envision:You's Lean On Me Award?

I’m really, really honored! I’m excited. It makes me smile a lot.

What does winning this award personally mean to you?

I’ve worked very hard for the community, specifically the LGBTQ community, and this is like feedback saying, “Yes, we see that you’re on the right track. Keep going.”

You are a major mental health advocate, and you have achieved quite a bit since being in office. Why is mental health such an important issue for you?

I grew up with a mom who struggled with mental health challenges, and I’m also a parent to a kid who struggles with mental health challenges. Then, of course, like every other American, I struggle with my own mental health challenges, but from a parent and child perspective, to watch the system not work for my family, I have this driving value which is, I won’t complain about a problem unless I’m willing to work on the solution. I bitch a lot about the mental health system (laughs). I’m keeping that promise to myself.

As an elected official, I am sure your job can cause severe stress, anxiety, and frustration. How do you keep your own mental health and wellbeing in check?

That’s a very important question, and I’m glad that you asked it. For me, I make sure to make time for regular therapy. I take medications, and they do their job, but without the regular therapy, I end up in depressive

patterns, and I can’t work as well when I’m in a depressive pattern or when my stress level is so out of control that I can’t see straight. So, making sure that I keep up with my weekly therapy during (legislative) session, which is really hard. I have a great therapist that is willing to work with me.

I also make sure on weekends, sometimes I’ll do things like go to synagogue and have my opportunity to reconnect with my community outside of the gold dome. That’s very important to my family and me.

Why do you think mental health is still an issue that's stigmatized and often pushed aside or swept under the rug?

I think the major problem is that we don't understand it. We don't understand why something isn't working the way that we think it should work. As an example, let’s say you’re a tennis player, and you have a bum elbow from all the repetitive stress on it; there is no shame in saying, “My elbow’s not quite working the way I need it to work.” However, if you say, “My mind is not working the way I need it to work,” there’s some shame and fear in that. Will people judge me, not trust me, or be afraid of me because I struggle in this way? I think that's a big part of it.

Why do you think mental health is an even bigger issue in the LGBTQ+ community?

I think it has to do a lot with trust. There’s a feeling and a lack of trust from the public when you're misgendered, when your pronouns are not used appropriately, or when you're not believed when you say, “I am who I am”—That's a direct assault on your well-being. Unless and until we make some real impact on society and change how society communicates, we're going to be in this pattern.

What more do you hope to do to help mental health services in Colorado and those suffering from illnesses?

So, so, so much! In this legislative session, I’m working on youth beds. Basically, we have what we call the missing middle. There are emergency room beds, and there are some hospital beds, but what if you need something in between? We're really missing that, and I'm working very hard on that.

I was also on the behavioral health transformational passport and working on the workforce to make sure we have enough people to support the mental health needs alongside facilities that we need to help as well.

Stay up-to-date and sign up for Dafna Michaelson weekly newsletter by visiting her official website, dafnaforcolorado.com. She may also be reached at (303) 250-9584.

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Queer Exclusivism

by Brian Aragon-Shafi Byrdsong

*The views and experiences expressed in this article are solely the experiences and views of the people mentioned in the article. Remember, a community is not a monolith and should not be seen as such.

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s a Black, gay man who grew up in the southern United States and then made a move west to Colorado, I have experienced my share of hurtful behavior. From family members who insisted on degrading the queer community in my youth (things have largely changed in that respect, and I think a lot of that is due to me being out and proud in my identity) to people yelling racial slurs at me out of their truck windows as I walked home from the bar in small-town Colorado, I grew up expecting these things from straight folks and wasn’t generally surprised when it happened.

What did surprise me, after my big move west to what I thought was a more enlightened part of the country, was seeing those same problems reflected in the queer community itself. Color me naïve, but, at the time, I was freshly out and had a pair of metaphorical rose-tinted glasses that tinted my perception of queer

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people. However, upon entering the dating scene … which, let me say, was slim pickings in the small town I moved to, I quickly realized that some folks in the community that I longed to be a part of just weren’t as welcoming as I had hoped they’d be.

Transphobia, racism, ableism, and general community dis-unity have all opened my eyes over the past 12 years to what is not just a localized Colorado issue but an issue that plagues the community as a whole. I am not alone in this perspective and had the opportunity to speak with some Denverites about their experiences.

I could go on forever, about the ways in which these issues continue to halt progress on some of the most important political topics, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll talk about how these experiences affect the mental health of those who deal with these issues.

As I hope most of us know by now, racism is one of the founding pillars of the United States, and after

245 years, that pillar stands firm, though there may be cracks in its foundation. In my personal experience, racism has most reared its ugly head in discussion of dating. I have overheard and been told directly, many times, that annoying phrase: “I don’t date Black men.” However, many of these same men can be found fetishizing Black men and men of color in their Grindr messages.

Why? Racism. Black men are more than just our skin. We are their lives and our experiences. We are our brains. We are the totality of everything that makes us unique.

After years of being inundated with messages of how I wasn’t enough to date (but still being enough to have some fun with), I began to internalize those messages and truly believed at one point that I was meant to exist solely for the pleasure of others. It took therapy and years of undoing those thinking patterns, but I eventually emerged as a proud, gay, Black man who refused to relegate himself to playing the role of a fun toy for others to use.

Enter: Matt, my husband, a bisexual man of color.

We met on a dating app. (How cliché, right?). If we had met at any time other than the time we did, I’m convinced we wouldn’t have worked. At the time, I was in therapy, which forced me to come to terms with some internalized homophobia and self-hate that made me feel like I was wrong and unlovable.

I spoke with Matt about his struggles with mental health and how the queer community has impacted him. He says, “As a mixed-raced individual, I never really felt included in many spaces. In some ways, I was too Brown, and in others, not Brown enough. As I got older, I was able to make my own community, but sometimes those feelings of not fitting in pop-up.”

I was truly lucky to be in a space to feel like I was worthy of love, and in my opinion, feeling worthy of myself is one of the greatest gifts I’ve given myself. This sentiment is something that was echoed as I spoke with Jesica, a trans woman.

She detailed to me not only her experiences in the dating world, but how the cis gaze affects her in her daily life. She says that the external pressures

placed upon her by society as a whole makes her feel as if there is some sort of invisible standard that must be met among trans women. She feels as though in order to be validated, she needs to demasculinize so much that she would lose parts of what make her, her.

In her words, “The trans women that you see on TV don’t represent all or even most of the community.

Society tries to put my transness into a pretty, ultra-femme box. And it’s not just visual; we are expected to behave in ultra-femme ways as well.

There is a trans TikToker I follow who receives so much hate online because she is a handyman, which is generally regarded as a masculine activity.”

This invisible standard has made Jesica feel as if she wasn’t “good enough” to even step outside, let alone accept that she can be loved and accepted into any community. Within the queer community, Jesica has faced discrimination like being barred entry into certain queer spaces because of who she is. Still, Jesica has learned to be proud of herself and sees signs that things are getting better, in the queer community, at least. She has had to work through a lot of her traumas to continue to be authentically her, despite what society at large has to say about who she is.

But what exactly can be done to combat these feelings of inadequacy, exclusion, and selfworthlessness? Personally, the first step for me was enrolling myself in therapy and removing myself from situations that I couldn’t be my full self in. I needed to be able to be goaded into thinking critically not just about myself, but the situations in which I’ve found myself. There are lots of resources available for queer Denverites to use. For example: The Center, Khesed Wellness, and even what you hold in your hands, Envision:You and OFM’s own annual mental health insert which can help you get started in your search for queer-affirming therapy.

As for me and my story, having positive mental health is an ongoing journey. There will never be a time where you have “arrived.” But having found a community of people whom I can truly call friends, and a partner who is patient and kind, have all served to help me get closer to having a truly positive view of myself and my impact on the world.

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No Bad Vibes:

in college, my passion was solidified when my father was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

There were also periods in my youth that my family was food insecure, and I held shame surrounding receiving governmental nutrition assistance (“food stamps”). I channeled that shame into a passion to improve the food and health systems through public health nutrition.

How have your own struggles with nutrition and movement informed what you do when you instruct?

How to Master Your Health Without the Shame

By Addison Herron-Wheeler

Health journeys are very personal and look different for everyone. But as soon as we decide to prioritize our health—especially if we’re fat, a person of color, have a disability, queer, or in any way marginalized—society starts to project what it thinks that journey should look like onto us. Messages of weight loss, cutting calories, extreme exercise, and shooting for that “perfect beach body” leave us confused and sad, unsure of where to turn.

Tessa Cushman, registered dietician and nutritionist, is on a mission to change that. She does trainings and classes and provides advice through the lens of positive self-talk without the focus on fatphobia, and we caught up with her to learn how to embrace health without feeling shame and inadequacy.

I struggled with undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and orthorexia (extreme focus on healthful eating) for much of my youth and young adulthood. I engaged in restriction, binging, and compulsive exercise. I was filled with crippling shame any day of the week that I didn’t make it to the gym for an hour and a half. I remember calling my sister mid-panic attack while on a friend’s family vacation because “I hadn’t eaten a vegetable in three days.”

Years later, I realized that my mental health depended on stopping the harmful cycle. Unlearning external and internal messages helped me start the healing process. I use these lessons in the community classes that I facilitate, where I prioritize intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, and inclusive movement approaches.

What do you think some of the biggest mental health barriers to nutrition and movement are?

The relationships between nutrition, movement, and mental health are cyclical. Healthy lifestyle behaviors are linked with improved mental wellbeing, and vice versa. On the other hand, symptoms of mental illness like depression can be barriers to these activities. And at the base of it all, without access to basic life needs, mental and physical wellbeing cannot be achieved.

Shame is an inherent response to the messages of diet culture and also stands as an immense barrier.

Shame is interpreted by the body as a crisis and has poor outcomes on mental health and wellbeing. Most directly, shame is associated with avoidance of selfcare and behavioral health activities. Naming and unlearning that shame is the first step.

How did you get into nutrition, and why is it What do you see as some of the biggest issues with important to you? nutrition and movement messaging, and how can When I was in high school, my sister almost lost her we fix that? son during birth due to healthcare negligence of her gestational diabetes diagnosis. This traumatic Diet culture tells us that the single most important experience showed me that nutrition is a huge part of thing you should do for your health is lose weight, diabetes management, and a few years into studying it conveying that it can be achieved at any and all 1 2 QUEERING MENTAL HEALTH 2 0 2 2

costs. It forces an all-or-nothing mentality, not allowing room for rest, balance, or moderation, and assigning morality to foods and behaviors.

The weight-inclusive and body-acceptance movements are becoming more popular in mainstream media.

Having open dialogue about weight discrimination in programmatic efforts, removing stigmatizing language and messages from campaigns, and piloting programs with individuals across the weight spectrum are necessary first steps that barely scratch at the surface of all the work to be done.

What kind of results have you seen from changing your messaging around movement and nutrition?

Instead of engaging in weight fluctuation or holding shame—which are detrimental to health and can result from focusing solely on weight loss—folks in my programs start first with this mindset shift. As a result, they engage in long-term, sustainable, happy, healthy lifestyle changes. One of my 2020 participants said: “I LOVE how you run this class and the energy you bring. I took a similar class, and the instructor had a much different approach … more fear motivated, and she was really strict … It was very difficult for me and my anxieties around food and health. I love that you have taken your experiences and let them shape/inform your practices. I find it incredibly refreshing and helpful, and I look forward to class every week.”

What should everyone keep in mind when it comes to balancing mental and physical health?

This process does not happen overnight. Give yourself grace, kindness, and acceptance as you unlearn harmful things you’ve been taught. Move towards distancing yourself from harmful messaging by avoiding negative self-talk, unfollowing social media accounts, and surrounding yourself with people that have aligned values.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

The body positivity movement was started by Black, Indigenous, disabled, and LGBTQ+ folks as a response to the injustices against marginalized bodies. Thus, these voices should be uplifted and followed to be the leaders and faces of this movement.

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Lean on Me Award Recipient: OMNI Institute

by Denny Patterson

ounded in 1976, OMNI Institute is a nonprofit social science consultancy that provides research, evaluation, and capacity building services in the fields of behavioral health, community health, economic security, children and families, and justice.

Because of OMNI’s dedication and commitment to improving mental health and wellbeing, it will be the 2022 recipient of Envision:You’s Organizational Lean On Me Award.

Envision:You honors mental health leaders, allies, and advocates with this award every year at their annual Garden Party at the Denver Botanic Gardens. This year’s event will be Saturday, July 23.

“We are thrilled to award OMNI Institute with our 2022 organizational Lean on Me Award,” Envision:You Chief Executive Officer Steven Haden says. “OMNI has been a crucial partner of Envision:You since our inception. In just the last year, it has led the development of our LGBTQ Provider Training Program and State of the State Survey by facilitating our community-informed program development process.

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Through organizing advisory committees, conducting community member interviews, and working with our team to gather and present data, OMNI has enabled Envision:You’s growth and impact. Their expertise in learning and research has been invaluable as we seek to understand and effectively respond to the challenges facing Colorado’s LGBTQ community. Thank you to OMNI for their ongoing support and partnership!”

According to Jean Denious, OMNI’s chief executive officer, winning this award is incredibly affirming on multiple levels.

“First, regarding impact: being able to see that our services and supports are helping to accelerate impact for Envision:You,” she says. “Second, regarding shared values: We do the work we do because we care about and are committed to being a part of achieving health equity, including behavioral health equity for LGBTQ Coloradans. Being a proud member of the LGBTQ community myself, I understand firsthand that our policies, systems, and community-level support must be part of the solution, and I’m excited that Envision:You is tackling the issues at all these levels.”

“It’s super exciting,” OMNI Researcher T Schweimler adds. “We love and value our partnership with Envision:You. The work that we’re doing with them, and the work they do in general, is so important. It’s awesome to be a part of that and be recognized for that partnership.”

OMNI partners with change-makers across the nation and has staff located in 13 states. Its diverse portfolio of projects reflects its commitment to tackling an array of complex societal issues and inequities.

Denver has been OMNI’s home and headquarters since its inception, and staff are guided and grounded by three core values: inquiry to uncover the best possible solutions to challenges, agility in approach, and connection to the clients and communities served.

“We love being part of such a vibrant, progressive city and community as Denver, ” Denious says. “We have had the privilege to work with so many Denver-based nonprofits, foundations, and local government agencies and across sectors such as schools and youth-serving organizations, substance use and mental health treatment, law enforcement and judicial services, family support services, public health, housing and homelessness, and much more. I'm very proud of the work we are doing.”

In the past, mental health has been seen as a topic that is often stigmatized and swept under the rug.

Unfortunately, there are still instances of that happening today.

“As a member of the queer and trans communities, mental health is something that affects my community,” Schweimler says. “And not just my community, but in general, it’s a topic that has been stigmatized for so long.

It’s not brought up in conversation, and as a society, we’ve really suffered from that lack of recognition. Taking care of our mental health should be a part of everyday conversation. No matter who you are, I think anyone can benefit from talking to a therapist or counselor. We need to take care of ourselves. We talk about physical health all the time, and mental health is just as important. The two are so intertwined.”

Rachel Ball, OMNI’s director of impact, echoes Schweimler’s statement.

“OMNI is very passionate about working to end the stigma and marginalization of mental health,” she explains.

“For so long, it was believed that mental health issues affected only a sliver of society, and I think there’s growing recognition showing that’s not the case. I think public perception of mental health has changed to some extent, and we’re excited to continue the work of erasing the stigma and marginalization.”

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Moving forward, OMNI will continue to leverage its expertise to reduce stigma, increase access to services, and grow community understanding and awareness of mental health.

“Effective data utilization and evaluation are directly tied to the ability of organizations and changemakers of all kinds to identify and advocate for the systemic changes that are needed,” Denious explains. “Through our work, we aim to advance the collective understanding of what types of services work best for different types of mental health needs in different communities, and the strategies that can be best utilized across the behavioral health spectrum of prevention, treatment, and recovery.”

OMNI will also continue its partnership with Envision:You. “Envision:You is a bit of a dream client,” Ball says. “Their focus is such an area of emphasis for OMNI, and this partnership has been years long. It’s not just one project and done; it’s a true collaboration, and we work on multiple projects together over the course of time. We explore issues, produce research, and provide insight.

Schweimler agrees.

“We want to keep doing work like this with Envision:You, as well as with other organizations committed to advancing equity,” they say. “We support our clients in finding solutions to do their work more efficiently, effectively, and reach more people. We need to move forward together to keep bringing these topics and conversations to light.”

For more information and to stay up-to-date, visit OMNI.org.

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Artist Jack Balas on Mental Health and Men’s Bodies

by Denny Patterson

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Originally based in Chicago and Los Angeles, artist Jack Balas now lives in Boulder and made his Denver debut in 1986. He has shown his work in the area ever since.

How has art become a therapeutic outlet for you?

When the world is crazy, as it has been lately, it’s kind of a refuge. I can be having a real shit day, but if I go into my studio and just focus on making something, it really Balas divides his time between painting, drawing, and sort of calms me down. photography, cross-referenced at times with writing Would you say mental health is an important topic and other media. For the last 15 years, he has focused for you to express through your artwork? on depictions of men’s bodies and is keen to present Honestly, I don’t think about it too much. Art is a big them in a variety of personal and societal scenarios part of my life, and I focus on making interesting images that project them far beyond the traditional role of and getting them out there to the world. Different portraiture. people take different things from the work, and I feel Employing painted language in the form of titles, that’s all good. phrases, and paragraph-stories, the works take on A lot of your work has to do with exploring the the strategies of annotated documents, maps, and bodies of men. Can you talk more about that? calendars, and yet by their very depiction, the men found in them also take on the politics of queer and The very first model that I photographed that focuses on the male body was back in the mid-90s. This guy masculine visibility. came past my house walking his dog, and he didn’t OFM caught up with Balas to talk more about his have a shirt on. I just went, “Oh my God.” I followed him artwork and his views on mental health. on my bicycle and asked him if he would come over How would you describe yourself as an artist? and pose for photos, and that’s where it started. I’ve A figurative painter. I’ve worked a lot in oil on canvas, done 80 or 90 people since then. I was making photos as exhibition images from the very start, and then my and lately, a lot of ink on paper and watercolor. husband started to use them to generate paintings.

How did you discover your passion for art?

I’m down in Tucson right now because years ago, I I was in the art club in high school, and we did taught for a year at the University of Arizona. I was just ceramics, this and that, and one day, when we ventured into watercolors, something just stuck. It took off from a one-year visiting artist, and they asked me to teach life drawing. After that, I got a lot more interested in there.

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drawing the figure and painting the figure. I had been photographing the models that had been coming in all along, but I started to use the subject matter more for paintings than as finished photographs.

We hire guys for a couple hours, and I’ll be photographing them against a white wall with props and language, and the goal is always to make images that could be transported into a painting, but the ultimate goal is just to make interesting art. I get the guys from the rec center from the weight room here in Tucson. I was a member at CU Boulder’s rec center for a long time because I taught there as well. I’m surrounded by all these weight room guys, so I have a lot of people to pick from. I started asking around.

How do you think mental health impacts art?

I think there's a good connection between them.

A big part of the art world is focused on political activism, outrage right now, as far as world events are concerned—Black Lives Matter, a lot of different issues across the spectrum. Many artists are interested in changing the world and putting work out there that somehow creates a positive effect on other people.

Whether that's true and whether it works or not, that's the huge debate. Was this a waste of time or not?

I do know that, by working in the studio with issues that concern me, I feel better. I feel like I'm doing something positive. I’m not making happy flowers, but if I were making happy flowers, and I was happy because I was making happy flowers, I think that would be a good thing. So, it all depends on where you're at on the spectrum, and I would associate good mental health with someone who's balanced and can deal with the world but also find fun, pleasure, and beauty at the same time.

Why do you think mental health is still an issue that's stigmatized and often pushed to the side or swept under the rug?

I haven’t thought about it this way, but I think the fact that mental health was always something to have an outsider come in and help you fix. It was like, “Oh, something's wrong with me, and I need to

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call a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist,” whatever.

Now, I think the issue is migrating to, “How can I be proactive for myself ? How can I take charge of my own mental health?” I think it was something people just never thought about.

Why do you think mental health is an even bigger issue in the LGBTQ+ community?

So many people have been terrorized growing up where they grew up, either via politics or especially through religion. We're constantly being told that we're going to hell, etc. You name it. There's always been a bad self-image sort of beamed at the LGBTQ world, and I like to think that's changing, but up until a few years ago, we couldn't get married. It’s like, by default, you're deficient. There are all these issues that I think wear you down over the course of time.

Besides art, how else do you keep your own mental health and wellbeing in check?

I get a lot of exercise. I like going out every day to ride my bike, walk, or jog, and I go to the weight room. I also love looking at art. I’ll go to museums and look at other people’s solutions to the world.

Even though you have accomplished so much with your career as an artist, are there any future goals you hope to achieve?

I'm always working on that. A benefit of me being an artist is having shows and going to openings, possibly being flown here and there by a university or museum to come do a show or a talk. Those are beautiful perks beyond making the work itself. I have taken a step back, but I used to try to angle all the time for the next show or stuff like that.

Galleries try to take care of sales, but I’ve taken a number of things on myself to kind of satisfy my urge.

I like graphic design a lot, so I’ve put out catalogs of my work, and I maintain my own website. I’m partly in control of the image that’s out there, and I don’t have to rely on other people too much.

Stay up-to-date and connect with Balas by following him on Instagram @jack_balas_artist, or visit his official website, jackbalas.com.

I would like to start by saying that I am by no means the epitome of amazing mental health. I am someone who has spent a significant portion of their life navigating their own mental health. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety since my early adolescence. My first therapy session was in elementary school, and I have navigated various diagnoses, treatment programs, and lifestyle changes ever since.

As I have grown into my adulthood, I’ve had to learn how to maintain my mental health and make a living.

As someone with a full trifecta of fun, including anxiety, depression, and a mood disorder, working a traditional job hasn’t always been easy.

Minding The Business That Pays

by Brianna Janae

When I was diagnosed with manic depression at 19 years old, I often wondered what the future of my career would be. I asked myself the hard questions of, “What happens if I cannot work? What if I am too ill and need to apply for disability later on in life?”

employee whom the company values, they also value your well-being overall. If you’re not feeling your best, you’re not able to produce the same level of work. And if you don’t speak up, they won’t know what’s going on and will just see the lack of productivity without Those thoughts were prevalent in my mind in the early knowing the reason. years, and I often doubted my longevity in a traditional career path. At 26 years old, I am extremely proud of This is why taking time to recover, become well, and the work ethic I have and am also aware of the power sometimes even seek hospitalization can be necessary.

This does not have to be company-shared knowledge. my work-life holds on my mental health.

No one else needs to know why you are out of the Here are a few ways I’ve navigated my own mental office. This should be handled directly through an HR health in the workplace. The first is being in tune with department. If you have a really small team and no my symptoms and being able to identify my triggers. official HR department, you can pull aside a trusted We live in a world where a lot of trauma has come from supervisor and explain to them the state of your various aspects of our lives. For many of us, that also wellbeing. Even with trust and time, this can be nerveincludes the workplace. wracking, but it can be worth it long-term. This can Because of this, it’s important to be in tune with how also help your job be able to support you better as an your past trauma could bring in internal bias. When employee. speaking to your coworkers, supervisors, and other That being said, we all have rights under the law as colleagues, making sure not to project past experiences employees, and if you need to escalate your concerns can be really important. This will help gain mutual to someone higher up, do so. Mental illnesses can be respect and trust between you and your team. debilitating and should be acknowledged as such. It is Once there is a mutual level of trust and respect, also important that employers are providing support my next tool for navigating my mental health is to for their team and individual challenges. Finding a be as transparent as you can, under your personal workplace that provides the flexibility for working boundaries. Being someone who appears to be very remotely, taking a mental health day in lieu of a sick high-functioning, it’s important for me to remind the day, and that will be supportive if you need long-term people in my life when I’m not feeling well mentally, treatment will help immensely. the same way we would tell the team if we were unable Work-life balance can be life or death for some of us to do our best because of a physical ailment. neurodivergent folks. As I continue to navigate in my This isn’t always easy, and it can be hard to open up in own career, I will also continue to advocate for those a vulnerable moment. No one wants to appear unable who are like me. Individuals with mental illnesses to work or pull their weight. The level of detail about deserve well pay, adequate benefits, and ultimately, what is going on personally does not have to be in empathy. Because, at the end of the day, no source of depth, but if you are in a severe state of mental turmoil, income is worth the cost of your mental wellbeing. it is within your rights to speak up. When you’re an They can hire a new employee, but your family, friends, and loved ones cannot replace you. envision -you.org 21

DRAWING THE

Line

by Erica Buehler

“How do I prevent myself from overcommitting?”

The phrase “putting up walls” has a historically bad rap. Many of us tend to think someone is being intentionally closed off or unwilling to be vulnerable when we hear it, but a closer look at those walls often reveals they’re just a mode of protection. And while too much of anything is never good, protecting ourselves mentally and emotionally is always important. So reshaping the idea of setting boundaries, what that can look like, and how it can benefit you in the long run remains a huge part of the conversation around best mental health practices.

you struggle with actually implementing a method for setting boundaries that works for you.

Kelley Quirk, assistant professor of marriage and family therapy in human development and family studies at Colorado State University, suggests that your first step should be looking at the “what” and “why” of your situation.

“The first part, the ‘what,’ often includes guarding your time,” Quirk says. “It might be that work asks too much of you, or you find yourself continuing to agree to extra work. It might be people in your life—a Setting boundaries has long been a taboo subject— friend, family member, or even children—who place Like anything, it requires practice and patience demands on your time. and can seem daunting upon first approach. You might ask yourself, “How do I prevent myself from “But the real question is what you do with this extra overcommitting?” or, “How do I avoid coming across time. That gets at the "why." This is usually the piece as domineering?” or, “How do I properly convey my that motivates someone to hold a boundary. If you are needs to person X?” All of these questions are valid clear on your "what" and on your "why," you are much and a sign that you’re approaching boundaries more likely to be successful in setting boundaries and and vulnerability with an open mind, but maybe keeping them.”

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to protect it, like insisting on not answering emails after a certain time or not immediately responding to a friend. She also emphasizes the importance of engaging in actual self-care versus numbing or checking out.

“Netflix is a great example: There’s a huge difference between intentionally selecting a show—maybe a comedy because you need to laugh or a documentary to engage your mind—compared to putting the same rerun show on in the background while staring at your phone.”

Basically, be intentional with not only setting boundaries but also with the time you gain from setting them.

As for those of us who struggle with setting boundaries, the key is to try and remove any fear about doing so before you forge ahead. Most times, the result won’t be as bad as you think.

This can be as simple as taking a few moments to think about how you spend your time. Once you’ve figured out what you’d like to change and why, the “how” can be pretty exciting—as in, how will you keep these boundaries held?

“Get specific with this,” Quirk says. “Imagine or rehearse saying ‘no’ to a coworker or boss or friend, how you will say it, and in what words. It may also be important to figure out how strong of a boundary you want; perhaps you simply want more self-care time, which may mean taking on less at work but not saying ‘no’ to everything. Perhaps it means still supporting a friend who is struggling but saying ‘no’ more often.

Getting specific and intentional about boundaries is the best way to be successful in maintaining one.”

Quirk maintains that setting and keeping boundaries is more important for mental health today than ever before, given the constant fear or concern that we could be better partners, friends, family members, or employees.

“For most of us, there is a sense that we could always be doing and giving more. There are endless opportunities to fulfill this nagging narrative,” she says. “But who tells us to do less?”

Quirk adds that doing less can be a great form of self-care, but also almost always requires boundaries

“For some, the fear might be that if I tell my partner I need alone time, they won't love me as much. Or, being invited to an event by a friend and saying ‘no’ because you need to catch up on sleep, fearing you won't be invited next time,” Quirk says. “This can be especially scary for those who rely so strongly on their chosen families or community connections, like many individuals in the LGBTQ+ community. The fear might be, if I say ‘no,’ I might lose this vital connection to my people, to my community, to my support.”

The solution? Quirk says work to understand what fear is associated with setting a boundary—Once you do, you’ll likely be able to state your boundary in a way that also addresses your fear. Quirk also points out that asking for reassurance is always OK. “For example, one might say, ‘I wish I could join you tonight, but I really have to prioritize my self-care.

Can you promise you will still invite me next time?’

You can ask your partner if they are hurt that you want alone time; you can ask a friend to make sure they invite you the next time, and you can ask a boss/ co-worker to continue giving you opportunities even though you cannot take on this one thing.”

Chances are, there’s a compromise (and a sense of accomplishment) waiting on the other side of that conversation. envision -you.org 23

“Sometimes, we’ll get an image in our head of something that is happening out in the world or inside of us, and a piece will just sort of suddenly appear,” they say. “We may not always connect the dots right away, and it could be years later, but you’ll be like, ‘Shit, that’s what this piece is connected to!’ It can be an event that’s happening in the world that’s heartbreaking, like what’s been going on in recent weeks, and we don’t know how to deal with it. So, we do a piece inspired by that to cope. It could also be something in our own mental health journey that we can’t talk about. So, it comes out in a piece.”

Alli Broderick:

'Art Saved My Life'

By Denny Patterson

The next time you take a stroll through Access Gallery or the Denver Art Society, keep an eye out for the work of Alli Broderick, also known as Enchanted Dichotomy.

Originally from Britain, Broderick came to America in 1988 when they were 18 years old and pursued an acting career in Los Angeles. Sick of the Hollywood toxicity, they decided to leave and moved to Denver in 2001. That’s also when they discovered their true passion for art.

“We just make art,” they explain. “We just create and don’t really think about it. It’s sort of inspired and created from what’s inside. Have you ever been so focused on something, and when you look up or walk outside, it’s dark? You’re like, ‘Whoa!’ We are so passionate about art that we can just disappear into it. Then we look down at this thing that we made, and it’s like, ‘How did that happen?’ We’re almost surprised that our hands made this, and all the elements came together.”

Although Broderick claims that they have not found their niche in the art world, they have dabbled in all mediums including painting and sculpting.

According to their Instagram bio, they like to express what the world around us and inside us evokes.

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For Broderick, art is much more than just a hobby— It’s a therapeutic outlet that saved their life.

“Quite simply, we’re alive because of art,” they say. “It’s kept us from taking our life.”

Eleven years ago, Broderick was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), a mental illness characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states. Previously called multiple personality disorder, it is usually a reaction to trauma as a way to help one avoid bad memories. This is why Broderick often refers to themself as “we.”

They also suffer from a severe eating disorder and have attempted to take their own life several times.

Through art, Broderick found a shining light at the end of the tunnel.

“Instead of being forced to speak the trauma, we made the trauma,” they say. “We started making pieces rather than being able to speak it.”

A lot of Broderick’s works are focused on mental health themes, which they say is “incredibly healing.”

“I have a piece that’s just called ‘Pain,’” they explain.

“He’s sort of trying to break through the abyss of life’s pain, and his head is all fractured. All the fractures and scars that you take with you. If we can manifest what’s going on inside of us in a piece of art, and somebody else happens to see it, and they realize it’s worth it to keep going, I think that’s really important. Instead of being ashamed of your own story or work, realize that one thing could stop somebody else from taking their life. You are giving them a glimmer of hope. That’s very moving to me.”

In the past, mental health has been seen as a stigmatized issue, and it is often pushed aside or swept under the rug. Unfortunately, there are still instances of that happening today.

“Doctors can be assholes,” Broderick states. “I can only speak from my own experience, but I have a very taboo diagnosis that some doctors think doesn’t exist.

The reason they think that, in my humble opinion, is because there isn’t a pill for it. There isn’t a pill they can give me and shut me up. That’s how I feel about it. The stigma is still there because they cannot sweep me under a rug. They try to, and I think mental health is always going to be an issue, and it’s always going to

be stigmatized because there’s no quick answer for it.

There’s no clean answer.

“Again, I’m trying to stick to what I know with my own experiences,” they continue. “My biggest journey and battle have been with an eating disorder, which is massive in the LGBTQ community, especially in the nonbinary/trans community. It’s huge in that population, and it’s so underserved because people are afraid to get treatment. I feel like until change occurs in those areas, it’s always going to be that way. We’re shamed for so many things in the world, especially mental health.”

Moving forward, Broderick hopes to continue making art, stay physically and mentally healthy, and live their authentic truth.

In addition to art, they keep their health and well-being in check by seeing a “kickass psychologist.”

“She’s absolutely amazing,” Broderick exclaims. “I had some very, very scary health issues with my eating disorder, and I was sort of forced to meet her. I feel very fortunate to work with her.

She doesn’t let me off the hook with anything, which is great.”

Broderick also hopes to continue working with Access Gallery, a gallery and program for artists with disabilities, and the Denver Art Society, a nonprofit that offers a wide variety of art classes for both beginners and established artists who want to discover new ways of artistic expression.

“It’s great to be around so many wonderful people,” they say. “I feel like I’m finally finding my niche in the world.”

Photo Courtesy of Alli Broderick

Stay up-to-date and connect with Broderick by following them on Instagram @enchanted_dichotomy.

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Recovery is Not a Fixed Experience, but it’s Worth Pursuing Your Way

by Keegan Williams I often cite my decision to give up drinking as the best home instead of going down the block to a liquor store; I’m going to these meetings and constantly confronting one I’ve made in my adult life.

Since my first day on this chapter in my life, July 12, the shame surrounding my addiction. Nothing and no 2018, I’ve chatted with a number of people going one else is doing this for me.”

AA alternatives are starting to pop up, like SelfManagement and Recovery Training (SMART), along with other new therapies. Many of these groups focus on individuals finding the motivation within themselves and learning internal control over seeking out an external source of power. These groups also tend I’m not here to tell you what to do or exactly what to to evolve with new research, and some find them more expect, should you make the journey into recovery. If flexible in their approach than 12-step groups. A good I’ve learned anything, it’s that recovery experiences are place to start and learn about potential alternatives is at americanaddictioncenters.org/therapy-treatment/12far from universal. step-alternatives.

When I first got sober, I went to Alcoholics Anonymous routinely. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t have the Though, I still credit many of those early AA teachings— tools to make it happen. I also know, as a queer atheist, “Accept the things you cannot change; change the AA doesn’t always feel like the most welcoming space. things you can, and have the wisdom to know the I found myself in church basements, hearing folks talk difference,” or mantras around sitting in negative about a “higher power” and referencing a decades-old, feelings but not doubling down and knowing when it’s often patriarchal text surrounding sobriety, or reliving appropriate to move on to a new feeling—as crucial to the days of my youth internalizing queerphobic my current, boozeless coping. messaging in Sunday school and at church. I often I don’t believe I would have the strong footing I have wondered if I was really in the right spot. today had I not used the rooms of AA to reprogram my That said, I went, but I never worked the steps. I found thinking around my drinking and my recovery. I wasn’t myself getting stuck at number two, questioning, “Why an outsider sitting in on a meeting—I heard the stories do I have to say it’s a higher power keeping me from of others and could see my experience in them. I finally drinking? I am the one doing this work; I’m staying began to recognize my own gaslighting, the lies I told through the same thing and realizing, as much as I’m a fairly textbook example of how much clarity and progress sobriety can offer someone, it’s clearly not as cut and dry as just telling someone to make the plunge and that their life will be better without a specific substance.

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"' Are you OK ? Are you on drugs?' and I laughed, saying, 'Nope, I 'm actually fully sober, just having a good time. '"

myself about my alcohol use, and that I wasn’t just someone “figuring out my problems with alcohol”; I was an alcoholic, though I haven’t attended a meeting for more than two years (partially due to COVID, partially because I haven’t necessarily felt the need).

Everyone’s sobriety toolbelt looks different, though it is necessary to equip. For me, I had to essentially relearn how to cope as an adult, untangling the web of “coping” soaked in booze that I had crafted for myself through my late teens to mid 20s. In that, immediately establishing some sort of sober network is important, whether it’s the rooms of AA, sober friends who are safe to call or text, having a recovery hotline saved in my contacts, or even podcasts.

I found myself listening to at least an episode a day of Recovery Elevator, which shares stories of recovery in a longform audio format and offered me some of the same solace of the rooms of AA. The Temper also has a great list of other recovery podcasts at thetemper. com/recovery-podcasts.

It’s also worth mentioning that my home AA group in Denver was queer, which was an immediate relief.

I didn’t feel like I had to hide any part of myself and already felt more at home in a group of other LGBTQ+ folks. There are also specialized meetings that focus on young people, women, and trans and nonbinary people. Folks in the Denver area can find a list of meetings, with specific filters, at daccaa.org/meetings.

I found that people were fine with my approach— not working the steps, not having a sponsor, not subscribing to a higher power—so long as I continued to not pick up (and if I did, that they would be around if I decided to find my way back on the road to recovery).

They weren’t there to tell me my way was “wrong.” If it worked for me and I wasn’t drinking, that was truly all that mattered.

I wanted to without this substance that is essentially the drug of choice and often abundant in places like Colorado.

In retrospect, I wasn’t really that “cool” blacking out every night, and my life felt more scary than exciting.

I can say with full confidence: I still go out and do all of the things I did when I was in active alcoholism, but I don’t wake up wondering what happened, if I did something I’ll regret, or nursing a hangover, often with a handful of morning drinks.

I laugh thinking about a rave I went to last year, as I was waiting for a friend who ventured backstage and killed time by dancing vigorously to the aggressive electronic music blaring over the speakers for a good 45 minutes.

Someone approached me, probably fairly sweaty by this point, and asked, “Are you OK? Are you on drugs?” and I laughed, saying, “Nope, I’m actually fully sober, just having a good time.”

It takes time to get there, reprogramming your brain, figuring out how to deal with the feelings where you previously, immediately turned to your substance of choice. I had to embrace things that I would have rolled my eyes at pre-sobriety to deal with my stress and anger: yoga, exercise, romanticizing a city walk, journaling, even just lighting a candle or feeling comfortable candidly reaching out for help or even just a quick FaceTime or phone call with a trusted friend.

I implore folks to understand that recovery isn’t linear: As much as the goal is to “never use again,” that’s not to say if you falter, you can’t get back onto that path with new knowledge to inform your journey. As much as folks can roll their eyes surrounding the “just a day at a time!” sentiment, we don’t have any way to conceptualize the “rest of our lives,” and sometimes, it is more than enough For me, and many of the people in recovery I’ve to just stay sober for today and worry about spoken with, it is the first year or so that’s the hardest. tomorrow when it comes.

The conversations with myself initially were mostly If I had to harp on anything, it's that this work negative, questioning how I was going to be able to be isn’t easy, but it sure is worth it. If you are even “cool,” still have an exciting life and show up the way considering making the jump, I’m proud of you.

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During that initial time when everything was virtual and more online communities were being built, I poured myself into my digital spaces. My “internet friends” became an integral part of my life, and many of those connections, I still maintain today. I tapped into my Instagram community and found like-minded people who lived all over.

There are many ways to get to know someone before they are in your physical presence. I’ve grown to become a fan of audio messages over text messages, scheduling FaceTime dates to watch movies, and finding virtual ways to share time and space. These are also ways to stay

by Brianna Janae connected if you aren’t able to see each other often. This baseline of connection has helped me navigate new connections platonically and It has officially been a little over two years since the romantically ever since.

March 2020 lockdown. We went from very sociable and intertwined lives to a state of physical isolation. My first few pandemic dates were spent socially We were apart from people outside of our households, distanced at the park, six feet apart while workplaces, and social groups. As the virus evolved, masked, without affection. I remember having to we were in our recommended groups of six or less decide if I should be in the same car as someone who wanted to take me on a hike. It took some while socially distancing at least six feet apart. time to get comfortable with meeting someone The last two years with COVID have completely who lived further away. In 2021, I decided to visit changed our way of connecting. For a lot of us, this a woman who lived in another state. I met her by has meant everything from hours of endless Zoom slidin’ into her DMs during the lockdown in 2020 calls, missed holidays with loved ones, and endless and had no idea that relationship would blossom periods of grief. Making new connections overall the way it did. After keeping in touch for almost looks a lot different these days. With many spaces a year, we decided that, COVID willing, we would requiring vaccination, there has been a new standard meet. of not only sharing STI testing statuses with lovers but also vaccine status. This makes physical connections We both worked in jobs where we interfaced a little less frightening and conversations regarding with the public, and there was no vaccine at the physical boundaries more common. If someone time available to the public. Not only was it the is apprehensive to take a COVID test or be truthful first time I went out of state to see someone, but about being vaxxed, testing positive for COVID, etc., it was also a huge risk factor. “What if we give how can I expect them to be transparent about other each other COVID? Should we wear masks?”

Being able to hold another person close at a time things? when a lot of us were touch starved was beautiful One of the main guiding points of connecting since and scary all at the same time. the start of the pandemic has been weighing out the risk factors. This has been a useful guiding tool for I look back on those moments, grateful for the me personally, and I apply it to all parts of my life. progress we’ve made and that vaccines have Because of the risk-to-reward style of connecting, become available. COVID does still impact our the connections I make now are so much more lives, those around us, and the connections we intentional. I make sure that if I am spending physical make. Two years in, it is still important to check or emotional time with someone, the risk factors are in regarding physical boundaries in all aspects. considered.

Risk to Reward

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Harm Reduction: An Overview and Resources in Denver

by Keegan Williams

Today, we see a wide range of conversations less visible in years past regarding innovative solutions to social issues, and aiding those struggling with addiction is no exception. One practice that’s become increasingly more prominent in the lexicon today is “harm reduction,” but what exactly is harm reduction, and how does it work to combat the negative consequences of drug use?

As a baseline, harm reduction acts as a set of practical strategies and ideas that work to reduce those negative consequences of drug use, a social justice movement built on a belief in, and respect for, the rights of people who use drugs.

The National Harm Reduction Coalition says harm reduction encompasses ideas like safer use, managed use, abstinence, meeting people who use drugs “where they’re at,” and addressing conditions of use along with the use itself.

“Because harm reduction demands that interventions and policies designed to serve people who use drugs reflect specific individual and community needs, there is no universal definition of or formula for implementing harm reduction,” the website states.

The coalition also notes the principles central to harm reduction practice: Harm reduction accepts, for better or worse, that the licit and illicit use of drugs is part of our world and chooses to minimize the harmful effects, rather than ignoring or condemning them. It also understands that drug use is complex and multi-faceted, encompassing a continuum of behaviors ranging from severe use to total abstinence.

It establishes quality of individual and community life and well-being as the criteria for successful interventions and policies, not necessarily that everyone just “stops using drugs,” and calls for the non-judgmental, noncoercive provision of services and resources to people who use drugs and their communities. Harm reduction also affirms that people who use drugs themselves are the primary party that reduces the harm of their drug use and seeks to empower those people to share information and support each other.

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Finally, harm reduction looks to recognize the intersectional realities of poverty, class, racism, social isolation, past trauma, and other social inequities that might change their experience, vulnerability, and capacity to effectively deal with drug related harm.

centers like Denver’s Harm Reduction Action Center give folks resources to prevent overdose or potentially seek help with their addictions should they need it, while pushing for care that prevents disease or overdose.

It does not attempt to minimize or ignore the real, “People use drugs,” the Harm Reduction Action tragic harm and danger that can come with illicit Center FAQ states. “While we wholeheartedly drug use. support substance use treatment and recovery One example in Denver is overdose prevention. efforts, we know that the most effective way to Because drugs like cocaine have the potential to prevent the spread of HIV or Hepatitis C (HCV) contain other substances that can lead to adverse is to stop it at its source: the needle. By meeting reactions or even death, many push for the testing people who use drugs ‘where they’re at’ in the of drugs before folks decide to use them. Denver’s spectrum of their use, we encourage any positive Department of Public Health & Environment offers changes that our participants are ready and able Naloxone or Narcan, which is used in the case of to make.” an overdose, and fentanyl testing strips, which work to help prevent fatal and non-fatal overdoses surrounding fentanyl and other, unexpected drugs upon use.

Folks can learn more about obtaining test trips through Denver at denvergov.org, and though there might be delays, the city is shipping the strips for free.

Conversations surrounding safe consumption sites have also made the rounds, with Denver’s Harm Reduction Action Center acting as the state’s largest public health agency working specifically with people who inject drugs. The center gives folks the opportunity to dispose of used syringes; access sterile syringes, meth and crack pipes; and offers folks referrals and resources. There is also access to Naloxone, vein care, HIV/HCV/STI testing, access to fentanyl testing strips, supportive service providers, hygiene products, and more.

Learn more about the Harm Reduction Action Center at harmreductionactioncenter.com.

The Colorado Health Network’s (CHN) Syringe Access Program similarly provides unused, sterile syringes and injection equipment anonymously to reduce the spread of HIV, HCV, and other infections. The program is available at the Denver, Fort Collins, Pueblo, and Grand Junction offices.

In addition, CHN also offers overdose prevention with Naloxone, safer injection and use education, safe disposal, behavioral health and prevention case management, along with additional referrals to local resources. For more information, visit coloradohealthnetwork.org/prevention-healtheducation/access-point.

These are just a small collection of harm reduction resources and examples in the Denver and Colorado community, recognizing that we won’t “solve” the problems surrounding drug use if we can’t treat those using drugs with respect, limit the potential harm surrounding drug use, and work to help those folks if and when they seek resources to aid in treatment and recovery.

In the midst of these conversations, some have noted that spaces that serve alcohol are essentially just a more “accepted” safe, supervised consumption site, for alcohol as opposed to other drugs. In relation to the principles of harm reduction, safe consumption sites recognize that people will use drugs whether or not their community has these types of centers.

With just a bit of compassion, we may soon work Rather than leaving them on their own and prone toward a more understanding and safer future to the potential risks associated with those drugs, for everyone.

envision -you.org 31

Navigating Loss

by Rachel Galstad

Loss is an umbrella term that we experience in many different ways. How do we navigate through these heavy emotions and develop healthy coping skills?

OFM met with Janine D’Anniballe, PhD, the director of trauma services and moving to end sexual assault (MESA). OFM talked with with D'Anniballe about the layers of loss and grief and how we can integrate these experiences into our lives as we fight the never ending battle of “moving on.”

What advice would you give to someone experiencing loss whether it’s a loved one, friendship, housing, work-related, or personal?

The first thing would be just to recognize that grief is a very normal response to a loss. So, feeling sad, feeling lost, feeling anxious, feeling sometimes even angry—All those are very normal responses to when an attachment that we have to someone or something is broken. I suggest being gentle with oneself as they navigate that because there's nothing abnormal or dysfunctional about someone the way someone would feel after such a loss.

Have a lot of gentleness with oneself, and know that there's a difference between grief and grieving.

Grieving is the process over time, and just knowing that over time, the response could change and evolve.

It may not always feel as intense or as acute as it does, right when the loss happens, but it doesn't mean it won't hurt.

How would you go about navigating the healing process of grief or loss of life?

Sometimes the hardest (part) is to feel your feelings about it. Not trying to get caught up in this idea we have to be strong or just get over it—actually feel the 3 2 QUEERING MENTAL HEALTH 2 0 2 2

feelings, and process them in some way. Some of us do that by talking to other people about it. Some of us might write about it. Some of us might, you know, work it out physically. But whatever way, let there be room and space to kind of process those feelings, and feel them.

What are some steps to moving on from traumatic life events?

I would say, we don't move on. It's not about moving on as much as it is about integrating the experience into our life because it's always going to be part of us, and the way we integrate is literal baby steps. One foot in front of the other each day trying to make the best, kindest, healthiest decisions for ourselves as we continue to integrate that loss as part of our life.

How do you advise someone coping with the after effects of sexual assault?

Acknowledge that when somebody is sexually assaulted, there's loss involved. There's a loss of feeling safe, being able to trust other people, and maybe of friendship groups, places they used to go, or things they used to do. After a sexual assault, you grieve each loss, for you can't fully heal until you grieve what you lost.

The other part that's critical is seeking support to make sure people feel they're not alone.

Unfortunately, one in four women, one in six men, have been sexually assaulted. So by reaching out, and feeling there's other people who are navigating the same thing, we make sure that we're seeking connection and support with people that can support that healing process.

How can suppressing emotions affect the bereaved of losses. Sometimes by being queer, coming out as nonbinary, trans, whatever it may be—there might be later on?

When we try to push down our emotions or not feel loss of family relationships, friend relationships. Again, them, that might work for a short period of time, a loss of feeling safe, a loss of feeling validated in the but eventually, they're going to come out sideways in community. some form. If we don't feel the loss or the sadness, it can come out in terms of anxiety. For example, maybe starting with panic attacks or other forms of anxiety.

That's really a different form of grief that hasn't been allowed to express more directly.

We try to tamper our feelings down by doing things like drinking more alcohol, using more substances, or overexercising. Again, that can work for the short term, but long term, you're creating a host of other problems because of those issues. Our emotions will affect our physical, mental, spiritual, cognitive minds later on because grief is like a full-body impact, and there's no way around that. But if we can talk about it, feel it now, we can move through it.

So you have these layered losses, and on top, there's a more general lack of support from mainstream society that can impact the grieving process. There's real special barriers that I think the LGBTQ community are faced with when it relates to any psychological kind of challenge. There’s already been so much marginalization, stigmatization, and loss. Sometimes that foundation can be a little shaken, and then you add another loss on top of that, a loss of a partner, a loss of a pet, a loss of a job, and then it can all feel very large.

Is there anything else you’d like to add or share?

Grief is like walking around with two mismatched shoes on. You can still walk in them; you can move, but you're probably not moving well. It's not very comfortable.

What is important to know when specifically And while you might look functional from the waist up, it hurts. So, just think about that. Have gentleness for working with queer folks on healing and grief ? yourself as we walk with those mismatched shoes, and Lots of things, because in the queer community, have kindness and compassion for others who might there can be a lot of losses, like a ton of losses on top be walking with those mismatched shoes as well.

envision -you.org 33

Somatic Therapy: Getting at the Root of Trauma to Overcome It

by Keegan Williams Especially given today’s world, still grappling with the grief and loss associated with the COVID-19 pandemic while forging ahead, we’re collectively talking more about mental health. While millennials and members of Gen Z have also helped to normalize mental healthcare and therapy in recent years, one type of therapy provides a lasting solution to work through trauma specifically: somatic therapy.

Also called somatic experiencing and somatic experiencing therapy, this type of therapy differs from mental health therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses predominantly on the mind, to incorporate elements of the mind, body, and spirit into the healing work. This type of therapy specifically looks at how the physical body holds onto stress, tension, and trauma, not solely focusing on talk therapy and resolving problems verbally.

In regard to trauma treatment—in which the goal is processing and working through that trauma to show the brain that it isn’t still in danger—it’s important to discuss how trauma often manifests.

While our brains are built to naturally recover from traumatic and stressful events, some experiences need further help to process.

We have stress responses as part of our natural fight, flight, and freeze instincts. When we are still distressed from a disturbing event, those images, thoughts, and emotions can bring a person back to that initial moment and potentially back to that initial instinct, despite the fact that there is no present danger in reality.

“Fight, flight, or freeze essentially means our body's primary goal in that moment is just to survive 3 4 QUEERING MENTAL HEALTH 2 0 2 2

what's happening. And for human beings, because our brains are kind of complex, that can be a real or perceived threat,” says Darcey Cunningham, a certified Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist and clinical supervisor at Mental Health Center of Denver.

EMDR is one type of somatic therapy that tackles this cycle head on. It helps the brain to process those memories and resume normal healing; a person will remember the event, but EMDR works to resolve that recurring instinctual response.

Cunningham says EMDR looks to integrate both hemispheres of the brain. Resourcing is a crucial, initial element of the treatment, which Cunningham generally defines as basic coping skills, though it’s both broader and more specific than that simultaneously.

“We're trying to build awareness in the sense of choice: I can identify what's happening for me, and then when I'm able to identify what's happening, I have some choice in how I move myself through it, how I find safety,” Cunningham says. “How do I define safety for myself ? How do you know when you feel safe? Or how do you know when you feel relaxed; what's happening in your body? And what are some of the things that you have control over?”

Cunningham says EMDR therapy also utilizes techniques to contain those intense emotions and experiences by turning back to body work and what might ground someone in the moment.

These exercises could include tapping, throwing a ball from hand to hand, a stress ball, breathing exercises, and more, using the body to help folks move through the anxiety and dysregulation they experience around trauma.

“We want to make sure that, first, we're able to work on that grounding piece, that awareness of what's happening in our body,” Cunningham says. “And then instead of going into our heads, like, ‘Oh, my God, what's happening?’ I'm noticing that my heart rate is increasing a little bit—doesn't necessarily mean anything. I'm just noticing that that's happening, right?”

After resourcing, EMDR guides clients through a series of rapid eye movements, allowing the brain to process small chunks of the trauma at a time.

That dual attention keeps the person grounded and present, creating a bodily rhythm that encourages safety; it works to keep the patient focused on the present while accessing memories from the past.

Cunningham also notes that EMDR, and other somatic therapies, can treat a wide variety of patients dealing with varying trauma, ranging from a single, profound, and identifiable event to traumas that might rest in the background or be less obvious.

While the fidelity of the model is crucial, EMDR allows therapists to meet clients where they are and with what they need. Some clients might opt to directly address the traumatic events; others might not want to relive it and are just looking for relief.

only focusing on the D, the desensitization, of some of these triggers and symptoms so that they can get more stable and then maybe work deeper into the trauma? That access piece can be really challenging.”

EMDR is often considered a gentler approach to working through trauma. Though she admits her bias toward EMDR, Cunningham is also a talk therapist.

She points specifically to folks in the LGBTQ+ community, which she is part of, who are largely promental health and support therapy.

Referencing feedback from queer folks, she says that, despite years of talk therapy, some say their trauma is still unresolved. Cunningham says that LGBTQ+ folks especially experience the world a lot differently than others because of the discrimination and oftentimes violence the community faces, potentially perceiving threats in their everyday life in a way other folks might not identify the same way.

“As cliche as this is, we have to get under the surface of the iceberg, and there’s not a whole lot of talking going on when we’re in an actual processing session. I think a lot of the trauma folks are just used to carrying with them. Sometimes we have to go deeper; we can’t just talk our way through it.”

She adds that—given the resourcing process, along with building trust and rapport with a client—it can take some time, usually a minimum of three to four months. Even once that box is “checked off,” so to speak, she’ll continue working with clients to revisit their healing to reevaluate if needed.

In terms of access, Cunningham says it’s a completely different conversation, noting that EMDR therapy is often geared toward folks working in private practice and that she’s seen firsthand how challenging it can be to apply to people receiving community mental health services. While the efficacy of the treatment comes from the fidelity to EMDR protocol, it opens the question of how to modify and expand the practice to folks without houses, working to meet their basic needs, or may not have insurance to cover treatments.

“There is some awareness of that. My focus, along with a number of other colleagues I’ve worked with, has been, well, how can we try to get folks some of the relief they can get from EMDR, even if we are

Photo Courtesy of Samantha Markey envision -you.org 35

Data Matters Envision:You and OMNI Institute Release 2021 State Survey Report

by Erica Buehler

W

hat do accurate representation, policymaking, and improving healthcare practices have in common? The need for data. Without current, inclusive, and meticulously sourced data, there is no change or betterment of our communities. And when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community especially, the umbrella term for the queer community doesn’t always accurately reflect whose voices are being heard, nor does it reveal the entirety of the needs of its members.

A recent survey conducted by two Colorado organizations is meant to change that for the better.

In January of this year, Envision:You, released its 2021 State of the State Survey report. This report is the result of a project long in the making—a survey meticulously developed for nearly a year and a half before it was even launched—and relied on the close collaboration between Envision:You and the OMNI Institute, a nonprofit social science consultancy.

T Schweimler, a researcher at the OMNI Institute who served as the project lead, and Steven Haden, MSW and Chief Executive Officer for Envision:You, spearheaded the survey. While Envision:You handles a lot of the public awareness, advocacy, and education about mental health and the greater LGBTQ+ community, OMNI is the heavy-hitter when it comes to data.

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“The partnership was natural from the beginning in terms of our commitment to social change,” Schweimler says.

The survey aimed to gather critical and often overlooked data in hopes that the results would provide new connections, detailed feedback, and anything that could help implement change in LGBTQ+ healthcare and adjacent services.

“From the beginning, we wanted to sit down with the community and understand its needs,” Haden says.

“We made a commitment up front that before we even launched the survey, it was to be vetted by folks across various identities so it would be much more effective for the people who take it.”

For Schweimler, the survey data is crucial for accurately representing Colorado’s LBGTQ+ community, as is the necessary work to be done after it’s collected.

“As a researcher, you want to identify more data to raise up the voices of marginalized communities and make sure their perspectives and needs are heard and addressed,” they say.

And while Schweimler emphasizes making the research actionable, they also stress doing so in a way that’s sensitive to participants.

“It’s not just a clinical focus,” they say. “We want to hear from people and what they need. And we’re being really conscious about what people-centered research looks like: Are we practicing what we’re doing with a lens of equity and cultural relevance?”

Another major concern of survey participants is navigating healthcare; for members of the LGBTQ+ community, the preexisting struggle of finding the right provider is compounded by the need to find one who is affirming and supportive of identity.

Schweimler also notes that data is repeatedly collected from the same communities and therefore doesn’t provide a full picture or highlight areas of improvement.

As a result, one of the primary goals of the survey was to ensure intersectionality was top of mind.

“There was so much conversation around emotional and physical labor that folks have to do to access a basic level of care, which puts them at risk for experiencing further trauma,” Schweimler says.

“In terms of the findings, one of the most significant discoveries is that it’s very clear there isn’t a single story about the LGBTQ community—Our community gets homogenized as an acronym,” they say. “We find that certain segments of the community are really underrepresented because there aren’t enough sample sizes.”

“We know, in general, there is limited data,” Haden says, pointing out that effective policy making and reform is almost entirely dependent upon extensive data, a necessity when approaching lawmakers to justify spending time and money to create new policies. When certain communities are left out of that data—whom, Haden says, often have greater needs—the policies that represent their needs simply don’t exist, as seen in trans and nonbinary communities, for example.

Too often, this obstacle will dissuade individuals from seeking out care or make them feel obligated to educate providers on their identities and traumas—something that isn't a patient’s responsibility.

“We want people to be able to access a nexus of care that allows them to show up as a whole person including their identity, trauma, and experiences,” they say.

While providers can claim to be welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community, they might not have the training and expertise for ensuring a positive experience.

“We’re connecting people to resources that are affirming and supporting,” Haden says. “To ensure behavioral health providers have the skills and background they need to be effective in the community.”

In fact, Envision:You developed a multiphase, 10-hour training program for providers to educate themselves Trans or nonbinary people are also more at risk for and improve their ability to work with the community. suffering from mental health or substance use disorders “Training is essential,” Haden says, going on to list the as a result of adverse childhood experiences (referred to many steps Envision:You and OMNI will take now that as ACEs)—another key finding from the data. they’re armed with fresh data, “advocating for new “Throughout the analysis and research, what we found policies and state laws, having queer people at the table, is that the experiences of our trans and nonbinary educating and giving parents and caregivers information members were a lot different,” Schweimler says. “We and training to be supportive of queer youth.” saw higher rates of ACEs, mental health concerns, and a “The first step is connecting with as many folks as we higher level of disparities faced within that community.” can, to get the data out there to those who can leverage it The ACEs data provides an essential understanding of and look at the lists of which providers could do better,” how they shape a young person’s life and subsequently, Schweimler says. adulthood.

Haden adds that dissemination and public education— ACEs can be virtually any kind of childhood trauma— from talking to people in the media to conducting from neglect to abuse to family dysfunction—and data community briefings—is what they’re focusing on. shows they often pose lifelong risks, including increased “We’re currently conducting individual briefings with substance abuse; suicidality; and chronic health issues elected officials and policymakers about the data,” he like cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. says.

“A person’s lifespan is dramatically cut and quality of Schweimler adds, “Education is key in all of this. It’s life is undermined,” Haden says. “While these instances exciting to be putting out more resources. Anyone and may not necessarily be related to someone’s LGBTQ+ everyone can learn something from this report, whether identity, we know that many in the community have it affects your personal life or professional life. And if experienced discrimination, harassment, violence, and folks want to have more conversations, we’re happy to a lack of family acceptance.” do that.” envision -you.org 37

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