February 2022 :: Free Love

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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VOLUME 45 NUMBER 12 FEBRUARY 2022

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FROM THE EDITOR

OFM BREAKING Omicron Variant Marshall Fire Remembering Victims of Mass Shooting

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OFM CULTURE

Anticipated Queer Films Fran Lebowitz Joy Guidry Sharon Gless

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HEALTH

Latinx HIV Outreach Navigating Diabetes Risk

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OFM ART Miss Molly Jean

OFM DINING Post-Valentine’s Day Food Culinary Tips for Valentine’s Day

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Clara Muerte

LGBTQ NONPROFITS Love is All We Need

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OFM THOUGHTS

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Establishing the Baseline for the Nonbinary Experience Queer Q&A Free Love Means All Love Getting The Kinks Out OFM Lit-Love

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OFM REVIEWS Nugs for Free Love Hot Rendezvous

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OFM MUSIC Metal Meltdown

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SPELLS imbolc

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OFM STYLE

Beauty Beat BDSM in the Mainstream

OFM ASTROLOGY February Horoscopes

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COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY

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OFM LUST A Free Love Massage

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FROM THE EDITOR

“There’s no turning back!”

There’s no turning back! When OFM started back in 1976, that was our slogan. When the team first looked back and discovered that motto, we were a bit shocked. Today, we’re used to warm, fuzzy-feeling business buzz-phrases like “Where You Belong” and “The LGBTQ News You Trust.”

While I like the more modern slogans as well, somehow in my mind, I keep coming back to “There’s no turning back.” It’s intense. It’s bold. It sounds like the slogan of a queer community living in defiance of the AIDS pandemic and the intense bigotry of the times.

And let’s be honest: It’s how a lot of us feel about the finality of coming out.

That phrase ran through my mind all throughout 2021: my first year as a business owner and the first year in our almost-46-year legacy that we’ve been women-owned. As we head forth into a world that can be downright scary—a world with pandemics, massive global unrest, prejudice, hatred, and misinformation—to, against all odds, make a media business thrive, “There’s no turning back” has once again become our mantra.

But we can’t move forward without looking back, despite what the new mantra tells us. The theme of this year is “remember your roots.” That’s why we’ll be revisiting topics like gonzo journalism, queer family structures, free love, our queer and intersectional elders, and a decolonized look at LGBTQ history.

When looking to the past, there’s no better place to start than free love. Though the initial concept preached in the 60s lacked a focus on consent and a certain amount of sincerity, the base movement of embracing love and acceptance over bigotry is one we’re still chasing today in these pages.

So, go on a journey with us into topics including polyamory, relationship structures, community support, and sexual exploration, and remember: The season of love is the season of joy and resistence.

Addison Herron-Wheeler

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OFM breaking

WHAT DOES THE OMICRON VARIANT TELL US ABOUT THE END OF THE PANDEMIC?

By Ray Manzari

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hether or not COVID can be completely eradicated from the planet, the pandemic will eventually come to an end. meaning, there will be a time when ICUs are no longer exceeding capacity, when social distancing and mask mandates are a thing of the past.

Though with a new, highly contagious variant sweeping across the world, to many, the end seems far off. The ultra-contagious Omicron variant is pushing case numbers to all-time highs; however, the variant seems to be less severe than previous strains.

Plus, this time, nearly 60 percent of Americans are fully vaccinated against COVID-19.

Vaccines help to curve some of the more severe symptoms, even if they don’t always prevent mild infections.

“Certainly, COVID will be with us forever,” Dr. Albert Ko, an infectious disease specialist at the Yale School of Public Health, tells Associated Press. “We’re never going to be able to eradicate or eliminate COVID, so we have to identify our goals.”

At some point, the World Health Organization will determine when enough countries have tamped down their COVID-19 cases sufficiently—or at least, hospitalizations and deaths—to declare the pandemic officially over. Exactly what that threshold will be isn’t clear.

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is looking ahead to controlling the virus in a way “that does not disrupt society, that does not disrupt the economy,” according to the associated press.

They’re fuzzy distinctions, says infectious disease expert Stephen Kissler of the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. He defines the endemic period as reaching “some sort of acceptable steady state” to deal with COVID-19.

Exactly how much continuing COVID-19 illness and death the world will put up with is largely a social question, not a scientific one.

The Omicron crisis shows we’re not there yet but, he claims, “I do think we will reach a point where SARSCoV-2 is endemic much like flu is endemic.”

For instance, the flu kills anywhere from 12,000 to 52,000 Americans a year, while COVID has killed over 800,000 Americans in the last two years.

“We’re not going to get to a point where it’s 2019 again,” says Dr. Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security, tells Associated Press. “We’ve got to get people to think about risk tolerance.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the top U.S. infectious disease expert,

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While countries with low infection and death rates will enter an “endemic” state, lower income countries with little access to vaccines will continue to struggle.

One potential future many experts see is the virus causing colds for some, and more serious infections to others, depending on vaccination status, previous infections, and their overall health. Human immune systems will continue to get better at recognizing COVID-19 and fighting back.

Immunologist Ali Ellebedy at Washington University at St. Louis finds hope in the body’s amazing ability to remember germs it’s seen before and create multilayer defenses. Ellebedy says baseline population immunity has improved so much that even as breakthrough infections inevitably continue, there will be a drop in severe illnesses, hospitalizations, and deaths—regardless of the next variant.

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OFM breaking

Remembering the Victims of December’s Mass Shooting

By Ray Manzari

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ix people were killed and two injured during a series of shootings that took place on December 27 in Denver and Lakewood. Tattoo artists, a hotel clerk, and others were among the victims who lost their lives.

“This is the holiday season. To have this type of spree take place is not normal for our community,” Denver Police Chief Paul Pazen says. “We cannot lose sight of the victims in this, the people that are still fighting for their lives, including a Lakewood agent.”

Alicia Cardenas, 44, owner and artist at Sol Tribe Tattoo, was one of the victims. Alyssa Gunn-Maldonado, who worked at Sol Tribe, was shot and killed. Her husband, who also worked at Sol Tribe was shot, remains in ICU, and is expected to recover.

Cardenas is survived by her father, husband, and 12-year-old child.

“It’s tremendous. It’s difficult to really express how many people’s lives she touched. She was a very outgoing person; she accepted everybody, especially those on the fringes,” her father, Alfredo Cardenas, tells Denver 7. “A real advocate for the homeless, for the LGBTQ community—Everybody you know was connected with her some way or another.”

“She was an amazing mother, tattoo artist, and an accredited body piercer,” Samantha Lindstrom tells Denver 7. “Alicia never minced words and was never afraid to tell you what she thought or felt, but she always came from a place of love. We go back a very long time, and she was family. Alicia was a beautiful woman inside and out: a loving wife, stepmother, and yogi. Such a warm, caring being.”

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OFM breaking

In addition to Sol Tribe, Lucky 13 Tattoo and Piercing employee Danny Scofield, “Dano Blair,” was also shot and killed.

“I can tell you he was as close to me as a brother, not only a good friend,” one of Scofield’s friends tells 9NEWS. “He was a gentle giant loved by all—no enemies. He was clean and sober—no drugs or alcohol. He’s a loving father, a beloved son, and brother.

“This random act of violence has got us all broken-hearted,” Scofield’s friend adds. “He worked for Lucky 13 for about two years before moving to Seattle, but came back to Denver and worked at another studio for a while. He has been back at Lucky 13 for two-and-a-half, almost three years now. We are all devastated.”

Sarah Steck, 28, was working as a hotel clerk at a Hyatt House in Belmar when she was shot multiple times, according to police reports.

The hotel said they are temporarily suspending operations out of respect for Steck and to provide time for the hotel team to mourn.

Lakewood Police officer Ashley Ferris was shot before taking down the gunman and is still recovering.

Police suspect that the gunman targeted individuals connected to his tattoo business.

Micheal Swinyard, 67, was fatally shot in his home.

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OFM breaking

Marshall Fire

Remains Under

Investigation

By Ray Manzari

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he most destructive fire in Colorado’s history started on December 30 and burned more than 6,000 acres in less than 24 hours. While the cause of the fire is still under investigation, officials believe they have traced the origin to a neighborhood off 93 and Marshall Road, where a passerby recorded a video of a shed fire in the early morning of December 30.

“The fire originated somewhere in that neighborhood,” Boulder County Sheriff Joe Pelle said during a news briefing on the Marshall Fire recovery efforts. “There was a viral video that was posted of a shed on fire. We don’t know that that shed started the fire or whether it was secondary.”

The shed was located on a five-acre compound owned by the religious sect Twelve Tribes. Boulder County law enforcement vehicles have been stationed at the compound f o r s e v eral days, though officials have not confirmed why they are there.

“If there was any form of deliberate or accidental arson, I fully expect that any of those responsible will be held fully responsible under the law for the utter devastation that was caused,” Governor Jared Polis said.

Backed by hurricane-force winds, more than 1,000 structures were destroyed by the fire throughout Superior, Louis-

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ville, and Boulder County including houses, businesses, and schools. Boulder County Emergency Management had contained the perimeter of the fire as of January 4 and are confident that it will not grow further.

Two people remain unaccounted for: a woman from Superior and a man from outside Marshall. There have been no reported casualties thus far.

Officials estimated the fire caused between $819 million to $1.6 billion of damages to homes alone, not counting the various businesses and other structures affected.

As the community began to take stock in what was lost, many Front Range businesses started fundraisers to help with shelter or food scarcity. Dozens of Boulder and Denver restaurants are offering free meals to those affected by the fire in an effort called Restaurant Revive.

Eateries taking part in this effort include Ace Eat Serve, Atomic Chicken, Bartaco, My Neighbor Felix, Ska Street, Wahoo’s Fish Tacos, and more. Blake Street Tavern in Denver is collecting donations, including water, blankets, toiletries, and other items those affected might need.

Monetary donations are best given to either Boulder County Wildfire Fund or American Red Cross of Colorado.

Nutrition, of course, plays a key role in optimizing health. For a number of reasons, optimizing nutrition in this specific community can be difficult.

I had the opportunity to virtually “sit down” with My Health Agenda content contributor Dr. Ariel Ourian and Creator/Director Andres Palencia to discuss this intersectionality with the intention of improving awareness and outreach to this community.

What are common barriers to receiving appropriate health care for Latinx people living with HIV? Dr Ourian: Many patients, particularly in the Latinx community, have barriers from receiving the appropriate care they need. Studies have shown that patients that belong to a minority race or ethnicity, including the Latinx population, are more likely to drop out of care or be inconsistent with care.

(Note: the likelihood of being inconsistent with care can further be associated with healthcare discrimination such as reduced access to care and being under/uninsured.)

There is also an unfortunate, perceived stigma associated with an HIV diagnosis which deters some from receiving necessary medical care. HIV is a very treatable virus—It is the social stigma that is the deadly disease. It is our duty and responsibility to look out for our fellow community members by reaching out, offering a helping hand, and empowering each other to get necessary medical treatments and care.

With advancement in HIV treatments, the landscape of nutrition-related issues in the HIV+ community has changed.

What are the biggest nutrition concerns for this community now ; how do they specifically pertain to the Latinx population?

Dr. Ourian: The combination of poor

Improving HIV Outreach to the Latinx Community

By Zachari Breeding, MS, RDN, CSO, LDN, FAND

diet, liquid calories ( from sodas and alcohol), as well as a sedentary lifestyle, have contributed to this. An unhealthy weight contributes to and increases the risk of developing other serious diseases including diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, digestive problems, sleep apnea, severe COVID-19 symptoms, and even certain cancers.

(Note: nutrition becomes an important factor in managing many of these conditions. Many HIV medications may exacerbate diabetes, so working with a registered dietitian is important.)

Can you discuss the intersectionality between food insecurity, addiction, sex work, and discrimination among those who are LGBTQ and Latinx?

Dr. Ourian: The LGBTQ population unfortunately faces harassment, social stigma, discrimination, and many other challenges. As a result of these issues, the LGBTQ population is at an increased risk for various behavioral health issues, including food insecurity, drug and alcohol addiction, and (survival) sex work. Studies have shown that LGBTQ adults are twice as likely as their heterosexual counterparts to use drugs and suf fer from a s u b stance abuse disorder. The Latinx community is at an even higher risk. This is an unfortunate vicious cycle, as these behavioral issues further lead to other health issues.

d i s crimination from the outside.

It’s important to keep in mind that existence is heroism when you’re LGBTQ+ Latinx, so we created My Health Agenda because when you shine a light on the heroes of our community, you’re showing a realistic path for how we can thrive.

OFM health

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f you haven’t already discovered it, My Health Agenda is an eye-opening look into the lives of Latinx individuals from the LGBTQ community. While not directly focusing on living as an HIV+ person, this web channel offers in-depth personal accounts describing the intersectionality between being Latinx, LGBTQ, and health.

What advice would you give to someone in the Latinx community who has been recently diagnosed with HIV and is hesitant to seek healthcare?

Dr. Ourian: If you have recently been diagnosed with HIV, please know that we physicians are here to help and guide you every step of the way during your treatment. It gives us a tremendous amount of fulfillment and satisfaction to be able to help our patients. With proper treatment, HIV can become undetectable in the blood. We are a stigma-free zone and here to greet you with open arms.

Palencia: We always talk about how important it is to inform people about health, fight stigmas around HIV and engage the community, and I want to add that it’s equally important to make space to involve and empower leadership from those within the community to lead these efforts. Important projects like My Health Agenda are so impactful in making a difference in the lives of LGBTQ Latinx folks because they are driven by the undeniably powerful force of queer creativity.

To learn more about My Health Agenda, go to: latv.com/series/myhealthagenda

The important thing to know is that nobody should ever feel alone in their struggle, and that behavioral and mental health services are available.

Andres Palencia: This is why it’s so important for us to elevate those who have persevered despite these challenges. Often, many of our chosen family find themselves subject to the toxic patterns of misogyny and homophobia from th eir ow n culture w hi l e al s o f a c i n g m a rg i n a l i z a t i o n a n d outfrontmagazine.com 13

OFM health

By Tessa Cushman, RDN

Beyond the Numbers: DIABETES RISK IN THE LGBTQ POPULATION & What We Can Do About It

We’ve heard it before. Members of the LGBTQ community are at higher risk of poor health outcomes. But why? Why does my gender identity or sexual orientation affect my risk of developing chronic diseases—AKA, a condition that lasts a year or longer—at some point in my life?

The answers are, of course, underreported in research. Data collection from LGBTQ community members is not yet systematic, is prone to measurement error, and has historically been omitted from mainstream science. This means that researchers weren’t always including us in research, may not be asking the right questions, or don’t yet have a consistent way to track our health data.

That said, let’s take a look at what we do know about one chronic disease, type 2 diabetes. According to a 2021 study, transfeminine individuals are at a 40 percent greater risk of developing diabetes than their cisgender counterparts. A 2018 study showed lesbian and bisexual women have a higher prevalence and risk of diabetes compared with straight, cisgender women. Also, gay and bisexual men and transgender women are disproportionately living with HIV, which increases risk of developing type 2 diabetes, and more lesbians than heterosexual woman are living with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a risk factor for type 2 diabetes.

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What contributes to these inequities?

Adding nutrient-dense foods into our day (we say no to diet culture) Attention to mental health and trauma-informed care (mental health is physical health)

Healthcare overall discrimination: In routine healthcare • visits, up to 39 percent of transgender people face harassment, and up to 60 percent of queer folks report a “less than ideal” experience.

In addition to meeting your health goals, we discuss topics covered in this article more in depth. Twenty-six interactive Healthcare and insurance access: Difficulty obtaining sessions are spread out throughout the year, with one class medical care and health insurance may be influenced by per month held at OFM Headquarters and the rest via family estrangement, houselessness, lower employment Zoom.* There’s still time to enroll at rates, etc. tchd.org/journeytowellness—The deadline is February 16.

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Food and nutrition insecurity (or lack of access to nutritious food): According to a 2016 report from The Williams Institute, in 2016, 27 percent of queer folks experienced food insecurity versus 17 percent of straight, cis folks. These social factors increase chronic disease risk.

My own increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes— because of my family history of diabetes, sexual orientation, and growing up nutrition insecure—is what led me to become a registered dietitian nutritionist. My passion for deconstructing the social barriers to a just healthcare system is what brought me to this space, and I can’t wait to Mental illness and trauma: According to the National share it with all of you.

Alliance on Mental Illness, LGBTQ people suffer mental illnesses such as depression at a rate two to four times The bottom line: It is not the fault of the oppressed that higher than cis, straight counterparts, and are at higher systems and phobias increase poor health outcomes—and, risk of experiencing adverse childhood events. Depression we can take matters into our own hands. With access to an increases the risk of diabetes (and vice versa), and inclusive wellness space, we can become health champions according to a 2018 study, experiencing childhood trauma for ourselves and our communities. increases the risk of developing diabetes.

We can’t talk about discrimination without discussing the compounding ‘isms’ that increase the cumulative burden from chronic stress. Queer Black, Indigenous, and other people of color face the aggregate traumas of systemic racism and are at even higher risk of type 2 diabetes than white individuals. Queer folks in larger bodies face weight discrimination—which, according to one 2017 study— increases risk of disease and death by up to 60 percent regardless of body mass index (think: that weight-centric tool that doesn’t capture the whole picture). More research is needed to fully understand the impacts of all kinds of discrimination on health.

In addition to experiencing increased risk of type 2 diabetes, LGBTQ people may find that some diabetes prevention and intervention programs are not inclusive. Programs follow strict standards that may include white-centered, weightcentric, and heteronormative curriculum.

Here’s where the good news comes in, cue “OFM Journey to Wellness,” the LGBTQ health diabetes prevention class series led by yours truly! In partnership with OFM, TriCounty Health Department’s Diabetes Education Program brings this program at no cost to you. We welcome all folks to join, no matter your individual health goals. We incorporate: Warm and welcoming Peer Support Health At Every Size approach and weight-neutral language Inclusive and joyful movement (Physical activity is not a punishment, nor does it have to look like conventional exercise.)

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2022 entertainment Although 2021 was a fantastic year for LGBTQ movies, of course, we are hoping 2022 will be even better. So far, it’s gearing up to be.

As the medium continues to become more diverse and inclusive, there is a ton of great queer content heading to the big screen with LGBTQ characters depicted in a variety of genres. While not all information has been revealed, keep an eye on press and celebrity social media posts. So far, we know that Billy Eichner is creating a groundbreaking rom-com; Harry Styles is playing a queer cop, and there will be a documentary about a transgender woman who participated in a pioneering trans research study.

We are beyond stoked to see what Hollywood has in store for us. Here are a couple major flicks that will be sure to quench the cravings of LGBTQ viewers.

Movies Am I Ok? Premiering at Sundance, this film stars Dakota Johnson and Sonoya Mizuno and tells the story of childhood best friends Lucy and Jane. Their friendship is tested when Jane announces that she has earned a promotion and will be moving to London. Lucy also has an announcement of her own—She is in love with Jane.

Benediction During World War I, British poet and soldier Siegfried Sassoon was an outspoken critic of the war. He was also semi-closeted about being gay and married to a woman who knew about his true sexuality before they tied the knot. This biopic, written and directed by Terence Davies, shows Sassoon’s life mostly as a young man, played by Jack Lowden, and as a middle-aged man, played by Peter Capaldi, reflecting on his life. The movie includes depictions of Sassoon’s love affairs, including an on-again-off-again romance with openly promiscuous composer-actor Ivor Novello, played by Jeremy Irvine.

Bros This groundbreaking rom-com from Universal Pictures is the first major-studio film to have an all-LGBTQ principal cast, which includes Saturday Night Live comic Bowen Yang, Ts Madison, Guillermo Diaz, and Luke Macfarlane as Eichner’s love interest. Not much of the Bros plot has been revealed, but Eichner, who co-wrote the screenplay with Director Nicholas Stoller, is the first openly gay man to cowrite and star in a major-studio film.

Catch the Fair One Real-life boxer Kali Reis makes her feature-film acting debut in this brutal crime thriller starring as down-and-out, queer boxer Kaylee Uppeshaw, who goes on a dangerous quest to get revenge on sex traffickers whom she suspects have kidnapped her missing sister. Written and directed by Josef Kubota Wladyka, Catch the Fair One won the Audience Award for Best Narrative Feature at the 2021 Tribeca Film Festival.

Fire Island Inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Bowen Yang and actor-comedian Joel Kim Booster star as two best friends who embark on a weekend vacation to Fire Island, along with a group of eclectic friends and a lot of rosé.

Framing Agnes Also premiering at Sundance, this documentary is about a trans woman named Agnes Torres who participated in sociologist Harold Garfinkel’s gender health research at UCLA in the 1960s. The study is considered the first indepth, scientific research into a trans person’s life. The film blends fiction and nonfiction together to bring a new look at an important part of trans history and includes reenactments with trans actors including Zackary Drucker, Angelica Ross, Jen Richards, Max Wolf Valerio, Silas Howard, and Stephen Ira.

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Anticipated Queer Films We CannotWait to See

By Denny Patterson

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

This Whitney Houston biopic is expected to not shy away from the legendary singer’s queerness now that her longtime best friend and personal assistant, Robyn Crawford, confirmed in a 2019 tell-all book that she and Houston had a closeted love affair. Directed

by Kasi Lemmons and written by Anthony McCarten, I Wanna Dance With Somebody’s cast includes Naomi Ackie as Houston, Nafessa Williams as Crawford, Ashton Sanders as Bobby Brown, and Stanley Tucci as Clive Davis.

My Fake Boyfriend

This rom-com is about the type of problem Grindr does not advertise. Starring Keiynan Lonsdale and Dylan Sprouse, the film follows a young man who creates a fake, online boyfriend so that his awful ex-lover will leave him alone. Things go wrong when Lonsdale’s character meets a new guy who could be his true love, but he struggles to get rid of the fake, online boyfriend.

My Policeman

Based on Bethan Roberts’s 2012 novel of the same name, One Direction’s Harry Styles stars as a bisexual policeman named Tom Burgess who marries a woman played by Emma Corrin after falling in love with a man named Patrick Hazlewood in a time when same-gender relationships were still illegal.

Directed by Michael Grandage and written by Ron Nyswaner, the film then catches up with the married couple a few decades later when Tom’s former lover re-enters their life.

What If ?

Billy Porter’s directorial debut stars Eva Reign as a high school trans girl who is asked out after the boy who has a crush on her gets some advice online. It’s based on a wonderfully sweet, real-life Reddit post, so we cannot wait to see how cute this high school romance is. outfrontmagazine.com 17

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OFM art

Queer Showcase with Molly Jean

By Rachel Galstad

When did you start painting, and how did you get into it?

I started painting back in 2016, but I didn’t get into it and really consider myself an artist until 2019. I would just do little stuff here and there. I didn’t realize that what I was doing was good, and that I liked doing it, and I could do so much more, until three years into it.

Have you always found yourself artistic and creative?

Absolutely not. When I started painting, it was just because I was actually trying to explore my sexuality, painting figures, and just using that as a form of therapy. I did not consider myself artistic in any way until that three-year mark; I call it my artistic awakening. It’s been really interesting all of a sudden, considering myself and appreciating myself as an artist.

You don’t have to be a lifetime artist to be an artist.

How did you progress into doing custom pieces and selling merchandise?

I had a realization that I wanted to make money off of my art, and I want to spread it around. Then I did a show outside of a dispensary all summer, an art show. And so, I started making custom lighters and grinders.

When you’re a multimedia artist like me, you’re not really limited to just painting, sculpting, or custom work. I can really offer out a lot of stuff; I can do everything.

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ocal multimedia artist Molly Jean is creating sci-fi realism realness. She showcases the queer community in many lights, inspiring others to channel self-love, confidence, and mental clarity. She’s multitalented, and her skills are endless, from fine arts to dabbling in live performing. She does it all!

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How would you describe your style?

Lately I’ve been describing it as sci-fi realism because no matter what I’m doing, what medium I’m working with or what I’m doing it on, it always comes off as fantasy. They’re surreal. You think it’s just this lady stepping out of a curtain, and she has a mustache and an alien face.

Do you feel it’s important to highlight queer representation?

I do because as a more cis-presenting person, I feel I get into spaces and then realize I’m the only queer one in the whole art show. So, I think it’s really important for me in those moments to highlight this art is coming from a place of exploring my queer identity. This is a self portrait of me in drag that I took in a queer space, telling them about that night. I do think that representation is really important because unless I represent myself in that way, I don’t get seen.

How did you get into drag performing, and how’s that currently going?

In high school, my choir teacher had a final for my allwomen’s choir class, to do a lip sync for your life performance.

I was a junior, and I was just freshly (out as) queer. So I got into all kinds of drag, and I would just go to school in drag all the time, in all-types-of-gender-presenting drag, and just confuse the heck out of everyone.

Where do you see yourself artistically in a couple years, and what do you hope to accomplish?

Artistically, I see myself more developed in my painting and a bit more exposure in my community and beyond.

Just being successful in sharing my story and my journey through each art piece is an important thing. I’m getting into body painting right now. Body painting has been a huge goal of mine for the past year. I’m shadowing a body painter at Temple, Matt Worldly, and he’s showing me how to do this in a club scene, so that I can bring body painting into queer spaces and into festivals; that’s my main goal.

OFM art

How would you describe your style?

I don’t want to sound vain, but I inspire myself in a big way.

I admire and respect myself, and I just want to spread that. I want to go around and inspire other people and show them that you deserve XYZ from yourself. So that’s really where I get my inspiration from, and then when I’m painting, it’s all coming from my brain, in my imagination, and even some forms of therapy. I have a whole art style that’s based around meditation. It’s helping me meditate because I have ADHD, so if I want to meditate, I also kind of need to be doing something.

Anything else you would like to add?

I’m working on sculptures right now. I’m putting my art into 3D. There is this heart sculpture I’m creating out of recycled wood from Denver Cornhole Games, I get free wood wherever I can. I’m taking these wooden triangles and making sculptures out of them for Valentine’s Day because it’s my favorite holiday.

You can check out more from Molly Jean on her instagram @missmollyqueen or website missmollyjean.com.

Then I started taking it to the stage. I do love people, and I love entertaining, but I was hitting a wall and realizing that I had a lot of anxiety to fight. So I stopped performing, and I started taking my drag looks out and going to spaces and events that you would not see a drag queen in. It gives me the opportunity to tell people what drag is and just show people that it’s fun. It’s something that I use in my artistic career and not something that I use so much on stage anymore. It is a huge underlying thing that I do, and sometimes I’m selling my art in full drag.

Is it therapeutic to be able to express yourself artistically using various mediums?

Yes, it is. It’s one of my main forms of therapy. Just dumping whatever I have around—all my crusty old paints onto the canvas and letting whatever happens happen. I’m creating a workshop surrounding that, giving people tools to manage their emotions and express themselves at home. I think it’s really important to recognize that you don’t need to have a goal in mind to get something on a canvas. And you don’t need to be an artist to use creativity as a way to just express yourself, center yourself, and use it as an outlet. It’s 100 percent how I manage my mental health. outfrontmagazine.com 21

OFM art

Unmasking:

Clara Muerte Photos byJordan Clark

No Longer Hides in the Shadows

By Keegan Williams

H

op onto Clara Muerte’s art site, and you’ll enter a world of sinister, gothinspired bliss, some offerings flirting with a more quaint and cutesy style, and everything blossoming from the artist’s multi-faceted identity, background, and queerness.

A fresh Coloradan based in Pueblo, Muerte has used art as a way to cope with trauma since they were young, and they note, “It’s always been really goth and creepy ever since I was little, too.”

They’ve fully embraced that style, though as they immersed themself in new experiences, like doing yoga and meditation. Muerte began applying some of their signature style to other items, like tapestries or mandala-style art. It’s also important as an artist to embrace the their multifaceted expression, nodding to their “cute queer side.”

“I have two personalities: I have one that’s super serious and one that’s goofy,” they say. “Eventually, I started to grow and realized that I love to do different art styles and just kind of went from there.”

And a lot of Muerte’s own experience informs their art, as a nonbinary person of color born to immigrant parents and previously diagnosed with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia; they are now reaching a point in their life where they are confronting their autism and navigating recovery. They look back to their childhood and recognize they were always autistic; it just wasn’t seen.

“There’s just so many things that went under the table that (my parents) didn’t recognize that I had, like hating eye contact, hating physical contact with others, and other things that I kind of just masked for 28 years of my life,” they say. “So, it was really hard until recently, and because my partner got diagnosed, I was able to figure out that I also have autism.”

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“I feel like a lot of women of color, or (people assigned female at birth)—They have a lot of issues with coming out and masking, because, especially in a Latinx culture, it is very hard to talk about mental health issues. We’re brought up to be very strong and resilient,” Muerte says. “You know, we push forward through anything.”

They also bring up that boys and people assigned male at birth have more resources at a young age when they express their struggles, while girls and people assigned female at birth more often must push down these feelings, especially in Latinx culture, to be the “perfect example” of women.

And Muerte says being able to discover these parts of themself feels like both a heartbreak and a relief.

“You’re like, ‘Oh, well, shit, the process that I created for myself doesn’t work for me,’” they say. “So, now I get to redesign all these processes for myself, but also, now I can be myself and express myself, do all the weird noises I want, the weird movements that I want, and feel OK about it.”

While some people in their immediate circles questioned the need to unmask, Muerte cites that continuing to mask can lead to mental health issues. After pretending to be someone they’re not for so long, they said it’s time to live authentically.

In that, Muerte uses their platform to encourage other folks to look into resources to find these things out for themselves and look into ways they might be suffering in silence in their own lives.

As a person in recovery, celebrating their first year of sobriety from alcohol this month, they reference that there is still a lack of sober, alternative spaces, which ultimately intersects with the LGBTQ community and experience, too, queer folks so often historically rooted in these alcoholic spaces for safety, with many in the community disproportionately affected by addiction due to their lived experiences.

OFM art

Muerte says that often, being autistic, a person of color, and queer can be mashed together, rather than recognized as individual elements of a person that can often interact with someone on personal level and on a greater, societal level in different ways.

They believe the pandemic opened a window of selfreflection for a lot of people, especially in relation to their public-versus-private selves, personal behaviors, and what is ultimately important in our personal lives.

This is the first time in their life that Muerte has been able to be honest with themself and others about their identity. When asked how they think these conversations will fit into their art and expression, Muerte answers, “I’m still trying to figure that out as well.” Though, they note they’ve always been weird, recalling some of the backlash to their art over the years, and it’s been a relief to be able to contextualize some of their own expression through these new discoveries.

Moving forward, Muerte plans to continue the conversation with their audience, focusing on newsletters to help educate others, promote free resources, especially for people in goth and queer communities.

“I think it’s time for us to start getting out of these shadows and stepping up for others because there’s more of us than we think.”

Check out Muerte’s art, and even snag some for yourself, by visiting cnmuerte.com, or find them on Instagram, @cnmuerte.

A piece they touched on in an email newsletter late last year is that, “even goths, Satanists, and queer folks need love and mental health services, even as strong as we are,” recognizing that as “hard” and “dark” as some folks in counterculture may seem, they are often left behind in conversations surrounding wellness.

“The subculture itself can push their stereotypes for goths, you know, like, we all do shit ton of drugs; we drink a lot; we don’t sleep. We do all these things that aren’t mentally healthy, and that’s what makes us goth, but that’s not what makes us goth. Goth is just a style of clothing that we wear and a way to express ourselves.”

And while some of these alternative subcultures can be very welcoming and safe, Muerte references the scene while living in Chicago, “I have seen how wonderful it is, but also, I’ve seen some detrimental things, like those things are just hurting you. We can be goth, and we can be badasses, but we don’t have to hurt ourselves or push ourselves into stereotypes.” outfrontmagazine.com 23

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Sponsored Content

2022 Colorado Garden & Home Show

Bellco presents the 63rd Colorado Garden & Home Show. This is the largest, oldest, and most prestigious consumer garden and home improvement show west of the Mississippi. It is the only consumer show produced by a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that contributes 100 percent of the proceeds from every ticket sold at the show to provide horticultural-related grants and scholarships to organizations and students across Colorado.

The Colorado Garden Foundation transforms 400,000 square feet of Colorado Convention Center into a virtual marketplace of garden and home improvement products.

This year, the Colorado Garden Foundation will recognize its 63-year legacy with a grant ceremony, awarding more than $550,000 in grants to horticultural projects across the state, bringing the total contribution to date of scholarships and grants over the years to more than $11 million.

Inspiring Gardens As in past years, the Colorado Garden and Home Show will showcase eight inspiring landscaped gardens, with this year’s Entry Garden featuring the YMCA of Metro Denver. The garden will showcase both YMCA history and new programs.

Participants also can share their own personal “Y Story.”

A Marketplace of Ideas Visit the theater at the end of the 1200 aisle where there will be 40 educational seminars on a variety of topics, all covered with the cost of admission. Be sure to check out the beautiful gardens and get ideas, inspiration, and advice from more than 500 companies from 25 states that introduce new technologies in landscaping, gardening, energy-efficient heating and cooling products, windows and window treatments, siding, flooring, lighting, indoor and outdoor fireplaces, patio furniture, roofing, gutters, storage systems, decks, spas, and more!

What Else to Look For Master Gardeners from Colorado State University’s Cooperative Extension Service will answer gardening and horticulture-related questions for free. Look for them in their bright green aprons in the CSU Education Garden.

Buy perennials for $2 per pot. On Wednesday, February 16, starting at noon, fading show flowers will be on sale to the public for $2 per pot with the proceeds going to the Arvada Rotary. Most of the potted flowers are perennials and are a great deal for those looking to add to their gardens, or to bring some fresh color into their homes.

Show Hours and Pricing Saturdays, Feb. 12 and 19: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m., $12 adults / $10 seniors; Sundays, Feb. 13 and 20: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., $12 adults / $10 seniors; Monday - Friday, Feb. 14–19: Noon - 7 p.m., 2 FOR 1 Admission; Children 12 and under are always free.

Advance discount tickets are on sale at AXS.com Sponsors: Bellco presents the 2022 Colorado Garden & Home Show sponsored by Carpet Mill Outlet Stores, DISH and RE/MAX. Official suppliers include Appliance Factory, Basalite Concrete Products, Complete Basement Systems, Custom Decks, Fitness Gallery, Lifetime Windows & Siding, Team Dave Logan, and 5280 Home Magazine

ColoradoGardenFoundation.org

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OFM dining

An Ode to

Post-Valentine’s Day

by Robert Meyers-Lussier

Y

ou spent your early February energies pulling together the most romantic evening you could muster. You’re sure you’ve made a connection. Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and reality sets in.

Following is a top-10 list of common postholiday relationship afflictions and dishes to serve up from some of our best local culinary establishments.

10.

Can’t believe a word that comes out of your Valentine’s mouth? If they don’t sprout fangs, fur, or bat wings first, ward them off with heads … of garlic. ≈Solution: Escargot au Buerre from Noir Bistro Vendome. This dish is served not with your ordinary garlic, but black garlic!

9.

For that special someone who has shown their true colors and turned out to be a mean, angry, little person, serve them the blackest dish you can order. ≈Solution: Blackened Catfish from Pappadeaux. This dish is black and spicy!

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After weeks of dating them, you hear those dreaded words: “Let’s just be friends.” Is there anything rawer? Only foods that haven’t met a flame suit this person. ≈Solution: Sashimi, plain and simple, and lots of it. Don’t forget the wasabi! Sushi Den should fit the bill.

7.

OFM dining

8.

The Days After— A Culinary Guide 3.

Your Valentine is attractive. Your Valentine is fun to be around. Your Valentine wouldn’t know how to light a fire in the bedroom if given a lit match. No need to call the fire department, but do feel free to serve the most fire-engine red dish you can. ≈Solution: Borscht. It’s ruby red, containing shredded and cubed beets. It’s beet-juice broth-based.

Most importantly, Aphrodite ate beets to increase her appeal! Visit Masha and the Bear.

You just heard from your best friend that your Valentine was seen slinking from the bedroom clutches of that blond/brunette/redhead seen at the club/restaurant/friend’s party last Saturday. Your only thought should be, How many habaneros are too many?

2.

≈Solution: Siracha Noodle with a side of Black Jasmine Rice. Visit Alloy Modern Thai . The dish is spicy hot and slurpy messy. Black Jasmine Rice will finish them off !

≈Solution: Three Course Dessert Tasting. Top it off with a Tawny Port. D Bar. Make sure to grab the dessert menu only, as D Bar has delicious lunch, brunch, and dinner menus as well.

It’s sad, but true. You have absolutely no connection with them, at any level. If you find yourself asking, “Where’s the beef ?” it’s time to serve just that.

1.

≈Solution: Fogo de Chão Brazilian Steakhouse should fit the bill. Make sure you conveniently lose the marker they provide to indicate you’re done, so the meats keep coming!

≈Solution: An Eight-piece Chicken Bucket from KFC. Make it a meal. Thank them a bunch, then fly the coop!

6.

You’ve met the sweetest person on Earth. That’s great, until you learn they are like that 24/7. Time to take off the Mary Poppins gloves and serve them a spoonful of their own medicine.

It’s time. You’ve been dating, and they are “the one.”

You finally muster the courage to say the L word.

They streak out the front door. When they come slinking back, serve them the only thing you could, chicken!

5.

Does your Valentine spend more mirror time than you, your sexiest friend, and the devil themself (combined)? If so, it’s time to load them up with greasy food that the skin hates. Breakout, here we come!

≈Solution: Endless Breadsticks, Fettucini Alfredo, and Chocolate Brownie Lasagna, Olive Garden.

4.

Would you rather have a colonoscopy than spend another “relaxing night together watching TV” with your Valentine? It’s time you served them up a dinner so bland, it’ll send them packing. ≈Solution: Steamed Tofu with Vegetables, Taste of China. If they’re not a vegan or vegetarian, they’ll get it.

(Editors Note: if you actually think tofu is bland, you haven’t had it cooked well.)

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OFM dining

CULINARY TIPS FOR THE

ULTIMATE VALENTINE’S DAY

By Robert Meyers-Lussier

You’ve survived 2021, and 2022 looks so, so promising. Valentine’s Day is soon upon us, and you’re wondering how you might make it the flirtatious feast it could be? Whether you have a significant other of 20 years, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or someone of interest, you have more options than ever this Valentine’s Day.

Culinary Tip #1: Prepare a romantic dinner with super-charged ingredients.

Prepare a menu with ingredients the world has long considered aphrodisiacs! You can court their taste buds and set the stage for romance and memorable times using your own culinary powers. Cooking is a tool, perhaps the most powerful tool for romance, when wielded properly.

When coupled with ingredients that contain powerful aphrodisiacs, entice your significant other, and cook up some romance!

Chocolate, champagne, and oysters have long been considered great seduction foods for revving up the libido, but you would be surprised at the vegetables, fruits, and spices that have been used to help evolve the hedonistic experiences in different cultures over the centuries. Some of these foods can be served up on their own. Many can be added to quicker dishes, like a stir-fry. Alternatively, recipes can be found quickly via a simple search for each ingredient on the internet.

From the book Food As Foreplay by Ellen and Michael Albertson, here is a short list of provisions you might want to pick up for your passionate repast:

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Rice Rice is a symbol of fertility and a staple food in Asia. In some cultures, if a man and woman eat out of the same rice bowl, it is a declaration of their engagement.

Fennel The Greeks and Hindus considered fennel to be a potent sexual stimulant. In the Mediterranean, fennel soup is thought to increase desire.

Figs These plump, soft, sweat, luscious beauties come from one variety of the ficus tree, which probably originated in Asia Minor and is one of the oldest edible plants. Try feeding them to your lover drizzled with a little cream and a sprinkling of sugar. Alternatively, serve with sliced melon or pears and prosciutto as an appetizer.

Pomegranate This deep red fruit is recommended in the Karma Sutra (an Indian love-making manual) as an erotic aid.

Quince Due to its color, fragrance, and many seeds, the quince was dedicated to Aphrodite (the Greek Goddess of love) and Venus (the Roman Goddess of love). Quince is eaten at some weddings to ensure a sweet life for the newly married couple.

Basil This flavorful herb is used in Voodoo love ceremonies in Haiti.

Nutmeg This fragrant spice has been prized by Arabs, Greeks, Hindus, and Romans as an aphrodisiac.

Saffron This expensive spice has been reputed to work like a sex hormone and make erogenous zones even more sensitive.

Saffron is made from the dried stigmas of a type of crocus.

Beef After a high-protein meal, your blood stream is flooded with the amino acid tyrosine. The chemicals made from tyrosine, dopamine, and norepinephrine trigger brain cells that enhance mental alertness and concentration.

Unagi Unagi, or raw sea eel, is a popular Japanese aphrodisiac. It’s also a popular item on sushi menus.

Culinary Tip #2: Prepare a dish or two at home and supplement with takeout.

OFM dining

Artichokes The simple act of stripping an artichoke of its leaves, dipping it into butter, and scraping off the tender flesh with your teeth is a very sensual experience. Cut off the artichoke’s thorny tips; snap off the tough leaves; slice off the stem, and rub with lemon juice. Steam until tender, about 30 to 60 minutes. Try dipping artichokes into curried mayonnaise, lemon or herb butter or vinaigrette.

COVID be darned! Plan to prepare one or two dishes yourself; then supplement your dinner with one of many restaurants that now offer delivery and/or pickup. They are not just any restaurants­—they are some of the finest in the metro. The establishments sampled here offer smaller plates, perfect for sharing: El Five (TripAdvisor 4.5/5; Opentable: 4.7/5; Yelp: 4/5) This restaurant offers Mediterranean food, tapas style.

Sushi Sasa (TripAdvisor 4.5/5; Opentable: 4.6/5; Yelp: 4/5) This fancy, calm little sushi restaurant has some of the best Japanese food. The menu is full of rolls, sashimi, and nigiri, and the fish is super fresh.

SOL Mexican Cocina.–Denver (TripAdvisor 4/5; Opentable: 4.4/5; Yelp: 4/5) This upscale Mexican spot has a menu of specialty tacos.

Diners can sample tacos here that they cannot find anywhere else.

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Love is All We Need

By Erica Buehler

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LGBTQ Nonprofits to Support 2022 After everything the last two years has thrown our way, giving to those in need is more important than ever. Of course, many are still facing the brutal economic impacts from the pandemic, but if you’re able to donate money, time, or simply spread the word about any of these incredible Denver nonprofits, you’ll be significantly helping our beloved community. Some names you’ve probably heard of; some might be new. Either way, spread some sunshine this year—your act of kindness could be the difference in someone’s life.

Envision : You

Colorado Health Network

Envision : You is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit with a multitude of offerings that “support, educate, and empower members of Colorado’s LGBTQ+ community who are living with a mental health and/or substance use disorder,” as quoted from the organization’s website. Envision : You provides valuable resources including workshop series, events, and links to other helpful organizations (like the Asian Mental Health Project and Colorado Crisis Services) in order to build awareness about mental health and substance use disorders specifically within the LGBTQ community.

The CHN is approaching four decades of work dedicated to serving those living with and at risk of acquiring HIV as well as other health conditions. Services offered at CHN range from medical and oral healthcare; behavioral health services; and housing, nutrition, and emergency financial assistance, among many others.

This nonprofit places focus on individual and group education as well as advocacy for changes in local and statewide legislation in order to further advance equity for those in the LGBTQ community living with mental health and substance use disorders. You can support Envision : You by making a one-time or recurring monetary donation, sponsoring an event, or selecting the organization as your nonprofit of choice for Amazon Smile. By donating, “you are directly supporting mental health equity, community informed programs dedicated to improving outcomes, and increased access to affirming behavioral healthcare.”

A primary goal of the work here is to prevent the spread of HIV by way of regular testing, offering treatment, and providing pre-exposure prophylaxis services. In addition to one-time and monthly donations, you can also opt for a legacy donation, attend or sponsor an event (like the Red Ball), or contribute in a bunch of other ways that take little time and effort but make grand differences in the long term.

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One Colorado For those with an interest in politics or who simply want to see action taken in state and federal governments with regard to the advancement of equality for those in the LGBTQ community, consider donating or volunteering for One Colorado. This organization lobbies the General Assembly, executive branch, and local governments to affect positive change in schools, health and human services, and on issues like transgender equality and relationship recognition. As with many nonprofits, One Colorado’s mission starts first with education: educating members and the public about the obstacles that the queer community faces and then taking the necessary steps to enact change against those obstacles. Apply for a job or internship; make a monetary donation, or volunteer your time to get involved in One Colorado and make a difference in our community.

The Center on Colfax You may recognize this name as the host of annual Denver Pride, though they contribute a whole lot more to the community than just a single (but epic and necessary) event. The Center on Colfax has a calendar full of events, with many planned months in advance, offering everything from STI testing to specific support groups (like Project Latino, for example) to visual and performing arts events.

There are also a plethora of ongoing programs and general services available, from insurance help, mental health counseling, and fitness classes to youth- or elder-specific programs to services like RANGE Consulting, which offers customized LGBTQ diversity and inclusion training and support to organizations. Find a ton of resources for what you’re looking for all in one place on The Center’s website, including its own blog and ways to support the organization, from donations to volunteer opportunities and a whole lot more.

PFLAG Denver PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, has more than 400 chapters nationwide, and their mission is to “support, educate and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, their families, friends, and allies.” This organization is a gold mine of information in easy-to-digest formats, especially for those who are educating themselves about the LGBTQ community and how they can best support their loved ones.

PFLAG hosts events and even awards four scholarships per year to graduating high school students who’ve shown education, advocacy, and allyship of the LGBTQ community. You can support PFLAG with a manual donation or via the Community Shares of Colorado program, which automatically takes an amount (set by you) from your regular paycheck as a recurring donation.

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Urban Peak

The Gill Foundation

Urban Peak’s primary goal is to provide assistance to homeless youth and help them exit homelessness by providing shelter and housing, support services, and case management, among other things. Seemingly simple offerings like hot meals and secure storage space are critical for youth without regular access to them and help create stability so homeless youth can focus on building skills and getting out of homelessness.

This organization is also focused heavily on affecting change at the state and national level to support and advocate for members of the LGBTQ community. Since 1994, the Gill Foundation has remained a leading funder of efforts to secure full equality for LGBTQ people and supports nonprofits across the nation that also work towards advancing LGTBQ rights via research, education, storytelling, and legal action.

At of the end of 2021, one-third of the youth that Urban Peak served identified as LGBTQ. The org also partners with Envision:You to provide the crucial mental health and substance use disorder services to the youth it serves, and you can get involved in a number of ways. Donate, schedule a recurring gift; volunteer your time, or purchase a much-needed item from the organization’s needs list.

While the Gill Foundation works to achieve equality for people of varying identities and orientations across the world, it also focuses specifically on making positive changes in Colorado. Moreover, the Foundation has a committed donor network and annual conference called OutGiving, which heavily funds the organization’s efforts toward securing LGBTQ equality.

Denver Element and Transgender Center of the Rockies Both of these nonprofit programs are sub-organizations of Mile High Behavioral Healthcare. Denver Element provides several useful resources and services targeted toward those in the LGBTQ community, including primary and dental care, support groups, substance use and mental health counseling, pre-exposure prophylaxis services, and many specific communities offering safe spaces and support.

Additionally, the Transgender Center of the Rockies provides services and support specifically for transgender and gender-expansive individuals, especially counseling, therapy sessions, medication assisted treatment, support groups, and World Professional Association of Transgender Health Standard of Care (WPATH-SOC) letters for those navigating proper care, treatment, and prescriptions from healthcare providers. TCR also provides a plethora of resources covering everything from cosmetic and legal referrals to physician, surgeon, and spiritual recommendations.

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Photos by Matt Misisco

OFM culture

F ran

OFM culture

FRAN LEBOWITZ IS NEVER AFRAID TO SPEAK HER MIND

by Denny Patterson

i

n a cultural landscape filled with endless talking heads, Fran Lebowitz stands out as one of our most insightful social commentators.

Known as one of New York’s most distinguished personalities with her trademark sneer, devotion to cigarettes, and chic ensemble of cowboy boots and custommade Anderson & Sheppard suit jackets, Lebowitz has been speaking her mind for half a century. From writing as a columnist for Andy Warhol’s Interview in the 1970s and publishing two bestselling collections of comic essays, to being the subject of Martin Scorsese’s Emmy-nominated Netflix series Pretend It’s a City, Lebowitz offers acerbic views on current events, the media, and pet peeves.

A satirist whom many call the heir to Dorothy Parker, Lebowitz has an opinion on just about everything, and she doesn’t give a damn if you disagree.

The humorist is currently touring the country and will stop at the Paramount Theatre on February 28 for An Evening with Fran Lebowitz. OFM had the opportunity to connect with Lebowitz before her visit to Denver.

Can you begin by telling us what we can expect from your upcoming engagement, An Evening with Fran Lebowitz?

I always do the same thing. Someone interviews me on the stage for about 30 minutes, usually a local journalist; then I answer questions from the audience for an hour.

L

Have you been to Denver before?

I don’t think I have. I’m almost positive that I haven’t, but I have been in the state of Colorado. I am very much the kind of New Yorker that people who are not New Yorkers make fun of. Colorado, is that in Utah? (Laughs.) So, I have been to Colorado, but pretty sure not Denver.

Do you have any preconceived observations or opinions on the Mile High City you would like to point out?

I don’t know if it’s still there, but I have heard for years that one of the greatest bookstores in the country is in Denver.

I hope it’s still there. I believe it’s called The Tattered Cover.

Yes, it’s still there! It’s one of my favorite bookstores.

That in itself is very encouraging. A lot of people in New York always talk about this bookstore, so that’s the main thing I know about Denver. Other than that, I always think of Colorado in terms of skiing. That’s probably not the correct way to approach it, but as you can imagine, I’m not the skier you might imagine.

A lot of people usually associate Denver with pot because Colorado is one of the first states to legalize cannabis for recreational use.

Well, it’s legal in New York now, and it almost seems mandatory. No matter where you walk, it’s just a fog of weed. We didn’t vote on it here. I know a lot of states in the West put these kinds of issues on the ballot, but that doesn’t happen here. I also never paid that much attention to it.

My feelings about things like that is, I don’t care what other people do. Do what you want.

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OFM culture

Overall, what do you hope audiences take away from your speaking engagements?

When I was younger, I actually believed that people might listen to me, by which I mean, my real goal in life was for people to do what I told them. That never happened, so I gave that up many years ago. What really irritated me was that people would often, a little less now, berate me. “You’re a bad role model; you shouldn’t do this; you shouldn’t do that.” Well, no one pays attention to what I say anyways. If people listened to me, we would have had a completely different political situation in this country.

When people go to a theater or any kind of venue, they want to be entertained. Whether it’s a basketball game, a concert, a speaking engagement, that’s why they go. So, I hope that they enjoy themselves, and that’s one of the reasons why I do questions from the audience.

Otherwise, I would have to write a speech, so that’s the main reason.

The other reason is because you get to talk about what the audience wants to talk about. It does vary according to where you are to some extent. Less than it used to because the country has become much more homogenized, and that’s not my fault, but it has. Sometimes, you get to a place where some local furor is going on.

There was one time in either Portland or Seattle, I know they are vastly different, but I never could figure out what that is, and there was some huge controversy going on about a type of bird that was going to become extinct if the trees kept being cut down.

That’s all the audience wanted to talk about. This was around 20 years ago, and I really tried to get them off this subject because I really didn’t know what they were talking about.

Basically, they were trying to make me take a side: trees or birds. This is an untenable position.

Your commentary is very witty and funny, and you are also known as a humorist and satirist. Why do you like people asking for your opinion?

First of all, because I love to answer questions, but I think it’s because I was traumatized by my childhood of no one ever asking me a question.

This was not peculiar to me. I was a child of the 1950s, and no one ever asked children questions. Being a

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Later in 2022, you will embark on a massive European tour. What are you looking forward to the most about that?

I have been to Europe numerous times, but I have never done speaking dates there, and that’s only because of the Netflix documentary I am involved with. Netflix is all around the world.

But you don’t have it.

I don’t have it, and I’ve never seen it, but I know it’s all around the world. I heard it’s in, like, 190 countries.

Personally, I could not name 190 countries. I doubt I can name 90 countries. Anyway, every country it’s in, everything is translated into their language, which I assume takes a great deal of time. To me, it would take until the end of the world, which may not be that long from now. So, that was a huge change in my life, that people in another country would want to hear me speak.

I love to be in different places, but I loathe traveling.

It was horrible before COVID, and now, it makes what was horrible before COVID look delightful. So, I’m not looking forward to that, and I also have some trepidation about the country being shut down and getting stuck. This has happened to people I know. It’s not that you would hate to be locked up in Paris, but I’m pretty sure they don’t take care of the extra expenses. I know a guy who practically went broke because he had to stay at a hotel for an extra four weeks. I’m hoping this doesn’t happen.

Did you ever think that you would become a pop culture icon?

No, and I know that everyone uses that word all the time. I don’t because, to some extent, it just means old.

Not pop, but icon. Even though I don’t have it, I’m sure a lot of it has to do with the internet. Also, the Netflix series. I was surprised at how many people watched it, but it also came out when not many people were leaving their homes. People were like, “I’m watching Netflix 45 hours a day,” and this was around the world.

Even though there are apparently a billion things on Netflix, at some point, you can run out of them.

I know you have talked about this a lot in other interviews, but for our readers, can you tell us why you are so reluctant to use technology? You don’t own a cell phone, a computer, or even a typewriter.

I’m glad you said typewriter because it’s not that I hate technology, it’s machines. I don’t like machines. I have always had a tremendous antipathy to machines.

I’m the kind of person that if a machine breaks, I hit it. Fix yourself ! Don’t break! I don’t know how to fix anything, but this is partially because when I was a girl, girls weren’t supposed to know how to fix anything, but every boy knew how to fix everything. My father was one of those men, who I don’t think exist anymore. One who could fix anything possible. I have owned the same car since 1979, and I would say three or four years ago, I learned how to open the hood.

When you could first have computers in your home, they were called word processors. A friend of mine who is a screenwriter got one, and she said, “This is fantastic, you must come see this.” I went and looked at it, and I thought, “This is just a fast kind of typewriter. I don’t need this because I don’t know how to type. Also, it’s fast, and I’m really a full writer. I could write with my own blood without hurting myself. I don’t need anything like this.”

You moved to New York City in the 70s, and you say you will never leave. Why is New York City so special to you?

First of all, I love New York, but second, I used to think, and to some extent I still do. I don’t think they’d let me live anywhere else. I feel like, people invite me to these cities; I’m there for one night; they take me to dinner, and then they think, “I don’t think she’s the kind of person we should have living here” (laughs). I just feel very much at home in New York, and I feel like they’re not about to expel me from the city.

What is your number-one piece of advice you think everyone should abide by?

Wow, that is a very good question, which I don’t think I’ve ever been asked, which is astonishing. I don’t think I can answer this in just a word. There are a billion problems in the world right now, but to me, one of the worst things out there, and I’ve felt this way since childhood, is lying. I hate liars, and I hate to be lied to, but we now live in this era where it doesn’t matter. Lying is a part of human nature, which is horrible, but it is much more acceptable now, and that was not always the case. People used to be embarrassed if they got caught lying. Now, they just tell another lie and another lie.

People are proud of it, and it’s more than unfortunate. It’s dangerous. When we listen to politicians, congressmen, court nominations, what they say matters. Watching those Supreme Court hearings, those nominations, those are the things that make me want to go insane.

Everyone knows they’re lying, and I think people should really think about what it means to accept these kinds of lies.

Before we wrap up, are there any other upcoming projects or anything else you would like to mention or plug?

No. I happen to be someone who doesn’t have a cosmetic or fashion line. I’m not in the retail industry (laughs).

To stay up-to-date with Lebowitz, visit her official website, franlebowitz.com. Visit paramountdenver.com for more information and to purchase tickets for her upcoming engagement.

OFM culture

child in that era, you were issued instructions from morning till night. Parents—and not just my parents, but every parent I knew or even heard of—it was their jobs to civilize these beasts that have been born to them.

Everyone I’ve ever met who is around my age, and it doesn’t matter what country they’re from, if they’re a boy or girl, white or Black, that’s how parents thought they were supposed to behave. Things started to change in the late 70s and early 80s, and I started to hear parents ask their children what they wanted.

“What would you like for dinner? What would you like to wear?” It was astonishing to me. Since I missed that point, now I like people to ask me questions.

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OFM culture

Ideal Post

Pandemic

Destination:

Gay Paradise Sitges, Spain

by Sarah White

A

stunning beach town 40 miles outside Barcelona, Sitges is one of the best vacation spots for LGBTQ travelers. Sitges is loud and proud about the diversity of ethnicity, religion, and especially sexual orientations of not only locals, but visitors. Sitges does not conceal its cultivation for equality and diversity. Parity can be seen everywhere from grocery stores, restaurants, museums, to the hotels, bars, and beaches. Truly a peaceful paradise!

Though Spain is statistically the most diversity-accepting county, notably for queer folks, the journey to acceptance was obscene and disheartening. Unfortunately for the LGBTQ community, in 1933, extremist Francisco Franco attained power after the Spanish Civil War. Franco abolished divorce and abortion access, and deemed homosexuality as not only dangerous, but an illness.

Any show of queer affection, even as minor as holding hands, was criminal. Prison time was a popular repercussion for those caught, and severe mental and physical abuse by guards and doctors was common. Many queer people lived their lives in silence or passed as straight in order to remain safe.

Finally, with Franco’s death, 40 years of hatred for the LGBTQ community went six feet underground with him. In 1975, Spain elected a new prime minister, Adolfo Suarez González, who made steps toward repairing some of these stripped 3 8 OFM FEBRUARY 2 0 2 2

rights. Gonzalez officially decriminalized homosexuality, and all those held captive for being queer were released.

In 2005, Spanish Parliament voted to legalize same-gender marriage and granted equal rights in adopting children to same-gender couples. This step toward liberty and equality for queer couples inspired other countries, including the United States, to revisit equality laws and make progressive strides forward for their nations.

Sitges, Spain is a queer, coastal retreat. Locals and visitors dabble by day in the beaches (often nude!) and parade through stimulating art galleries. By night, they explore the plethora of queer bars, clubs, and top-notch restaurants.

Sitges is an elegant city with the just right amount of consensual debauchery, truly showcasing why it is a soughtafter gay vacation destination for the Mediterranean and beyond.

El Cigaliere of Sitges is the dream retreat for men (Sorry ladies. I suppose we have Dinah Shore Weekend to celebrate, but who do we talk to to demand we make it a year-round resort?) El Cigaliere has five bedrooms, each with a private bathroom, and a communal living room and kitchen.

All the resort rooms are exclusive to honoring prominent queer couples of the past, such as Rock Hudson and Lee

OFM culture

hammocks, beach bars, showers, and massage tables. It’s a beach for every queer to see and to be seen.

As you wind down from the beach day, gear up for a nightlife you’ll never forget. Often referred to as the “gayest town on the Mediterranean,” Sitges boasts approximately 24 queer bars. The Sitges gay bar scene operates year round. Two of the most popular LGBTQ clubs/discos in Sitges are Organic and Privilege.

Organic has been serving kings, queens, neithers, and inbetweens since 1994. This disco does not open its doors until well after midnight as other clubs close, and remains open until dawn. Organic is fun and unique because it plays only 80s and 90s music and hosts foam parties in a sunken pool weekly.

Near Organic is Privilege, open Thursday through Saturday from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m., featuring an immense dance floor with multiple bars under one roof. Privilege is always packed with the vibrant and beautiful locals and welcomes the visitors of Sitges.

Sitges is an unapologetic, celebratory LGBTQ beach town filled with discos, scenic views, warm beaches, historical museums, and optional nudity. It is a town where love is celebrated despite generations, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. Sitges is uniquely a queer and progressive paradise.

Garlington. This resort of 100 percent gay men has a clothing-optional policy. A guest may disrobe as soon as he enters the door, and then he will quickly meet other men just like him.

Features of the resort include a private cottage on premise, swimming pool, gym, jacuzzi, a massage room, and ocean views of the LGBTQ beach nearby. Guests from all over the world as singles or couples, in all shapes and sizes, from every generation and ethnicity, mingle together here. El Cigaliere of Sitges prides itself on creating a space for gay men as well as maintaining comfort for the different lifestyles they lead.

Very close by is Platja de la Bassa Rodona: Sitges main and the most popular queer beach. Guests will find lots of LGBTQ couples (Yes, ladies and nonbinary folk, a space for us!) and plenty of nudity. The peak season is from July to September; however, you can find queers enjoying the soft sand and clean water year-round.

Platja de la Bassa Rodona is the only beach that has a sailing school with courses all year. Platja de la Bassa Rodona is regularly packed, offering a plethora of

outfrontmagazine.com 39

OFM culture

Joy Guidry: Black Artistry at its Finest

by Denny Patterson

S

Photos by Shala Miller

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elf-love, compassion, laughter, and the passion to amplify Black artists: This is what drives NYCbased bassoonist and Berlin Prize for Young Artists nominated composer Joy Guidry.

As a follow-up to their lauded album Darkness is a Myth, they are gearing up to release their latest LP, Radical Acceptance, on February 4.

“It was inspired throughout this last year of my life,” Guidry says. “Not really focusing on COVID, but how COVID gave me time to reflect. I started trauma therapy, and my therapist always talked about radical acceptance. I was like, “What’s that?” It’s basically just accepting things that you cannot change. You sometimes can’t change people, so you kind of have to roll with it. So, that’s the gist of the whole album, and each track is a sonic experience of me releasing the want to change something, the desire to have so much control.”

Ranging from spoken word to deep, chest-rattling drone to spirited free-jazz, Radical Acceptance is an album that, once fully experienced, is difficult to shake.

Guidry says creating this LP was an extremely cathartic process.

“I have bipolar II Disorder and PTSD, so it’s been very big for me to talk about it to normalize it,” they explain.

“Radical Acceptance has made it easier for me to talk to people about what I struggle with because what I have is different than depression. Depression is extremely powerful and life-threatening, but bipolar disorder is different from depression. People will say, “Oh, you’ll feel better.” I’m like, “No, I won’t.” I have a mental illness, and there are times that I am unrecognizable to my friends and family. So, it has been important to talk about that, and I am very proud of this LP. I think I hit all my goals with creating the music and having a clear message.”

Radical Acceptance also touches on body image, which has always been a hot topic in the queer community.

“It’s been tough,” Guidry says. “My whole life, I was always called husky, big man, all this stuff, and it was awful. Then when I got to college, I went raw vegan. I did it for health benefits, but it actually caused a form of bulimia for me.

As I lost a lot of weight, I was having more sex; I felt more desirable; I felt more confident, but when I look back at pictures, there is no life in my eyes. Then I gained a lot of weight and became super depressed, but eventually,

Among Guidry’s other accolades, they have performed with several art organization, including the Dance Centre Kenya Ballet Orchestra, International Contemporary Ensemble, and Alarm Will Sound; have been a featured soloist in Yvette Jackson’s opera Fear is their Alibi that premiered at the 2021 Prototype festival; and they have been commissioned by The National Sawdust, Long Beach Opera, JACK Quartet, and the I&I Foundation.

As for the future, Guidry hopes a lot more is in store for their career.

“I want to go on tour; I would like to start a band, and I would love to win a Grammy,” they exclaim. “That all sounds really fun, but really, I hope to just keep traveling, make more music, and work with more labels. The label I’m on now, Whited Sepulchre Records, has been so incredible to me, and it’s been such a great journey. I hope to have that type of relationship with different labels in the future. I also hope this ends up being my full-time job, and I can continue telling my stories.”

OFM culture

I worked on loving myself. I will always have internalized fatphobia, but I shouldn’t care about what others think about my size. It’s been this long journey.”

Listeners received a sample of the LP when the first single “Inner Child” was released in December by Foxy Digitalis, and Guidry says listeners reacted extremely well.

A versatile improviser and composer of experimental, daring new works that embody a deep love of storytelling, Guidry’s music not only channels their own inner child, but it also honors their ancestors and predecessors. They have always had an interest in contemporary art, and they are beyond grateful to have family and friends supporting their musical ambitions.

“My family really inspires me, and I love to tell stories,” Guidry says. “I found ways to do that through music, and I got good at it. Music is such a huge part of my life now, and I have such an appreciation for it. Knowing that so many friends and family members support my dreams, it’s unreal. It is such a blessing from God that I can wake up and do music every day. That is my job, and I love what I do. It gives me so much agency, and it’s bringing me into spaces that I never thought I would be in.”

In every aspect of Guidry’s practice, they seek to support, hire, and promote Black artists. To this end, Guidry has spearheaded Sounds of the African Diaspora, a competition and commissioning platform for composers from the African diaspora. This new initiative ensures that composers from the diaspora have access to the space, resources, and time necessary to foster new, innovative music.

Stay up-to-date and connect with Guidry by following them on Instagram @joe_wey, or visit their official website, guidrybassoon.com. Radical Acceptance will be available on all digital streaming platforms.

o u t f r o n tm a g a z i n e.co m 41

OFM culture

NOTHING BUT COMPLAINTS for Sharon Gless

by Denny Patterson

M

u l t i p l e -Emmy-and-Golden -Globe winner Sharon Gless has distinguished herself as one of the most acclaimed and recognized actresses working today.

Photos by Alexei Hay

Last month, she released her colorful memoir, Apparently There Were Complaints, which contains laugh-out-loud and juicy stories full of fun, drama, and fiery rebellion.

Gless not only dives into her remarkable Hollywood career and encounters with some of the industry’s biggest names, but she also gives readers an inside look at her personal life, which included family troubles, alcoholism, and a fear of romantic commitment.

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A fifth-generation Californian, Gless knew that she wanted to be an actress at a young age. She rose to prominence via her portrayal of New York police detective Christine Cagney in the popular 1980s TV series Cagney & Lacey and has gone on to appear in several other hit shows like Burn Notice and The Trials of Rosie O’Neill. To the LGBTQ community, she will always be known for her role of Debbie Novotny, a devoted mother to a gay son and confidant to his gay friends, in Showtime’s groundbreaking drama Queer as Folk.

Gless took some time to chat and reminisce with OFM.

Is there a particular story in the book that is your favorite?

I don’t know if I have a favorite story because there are so many, but I think the most fascinating part of my life was when I became a young contract player for Universal Studios. They don’t have them anymore, and I am the last contract player in the history of Hollywood. In my last chapter, I talk about walking through Universal Studios late one night by myself and the power I felt. I had very little experience, but I knew there were people behind me who believed in me. It was like a dream.

You have worked on several hit shows like Cagney & Lacey and Burn Notice, but the LGBTQ community will forever know you for playing Debbie Novotny in Queer as Folk. In what ways did that specific role impact your life?

Queer as Folk taught me so much. I thought I knew everything, but it turns out I didn’t know anything. There was so much pain I had not been exposed to that the gay community was enduring. Those were lessons to me, and I still have young men come up and ask me for a hug. I remember this one young man who burst out crying, and he couldn’t stop. I held him and thought, the damage that has been done to this boy. It was such a moment for me, and I held onto him until he couldn’t cry anymore. I am so grateful to have had this kind of impact.

There had never been a gay show on television, and certainly not a drama. Queer as Folk was way before The L Word and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. We were the first to do it, and it changed my life. I said in my book, “I am always there for you,” and I mean it with all my heart. I sometimes still get awards, unnecessarily, from the gay community for the impact that the show had.

OFM culture

Congrats on the release of your memoir! This project came about after you met with a CBS executive?

Exactly! I never wanted to write a book, but here we are. I was called in to a meeting by CBS for what I thought was a conversation to offer me a new series, but I walked out with a book deal. I said, “I’ve never written before. I’m not sure if I’m a writer.” She said, “Maybe not, but you are a storyteller.”

Much to my surprise, I ended up with a call from Simon & Schuster the next day. This has been a seven-year journey, so I hope people enjoy it.

Apparently, There Were Complaints covers your childhood and five decades of working as an actress in Hollywood, but you also touch on some heavy topics like your parents’ divorce and struggles with alcoholism. Did you find revisiting those tough memories challenging and painful or therapeutic and freeing? Possibly both?

It’s interesting you should ask that because my initial response would be no. Because that was a long time ago; why would it be painful? However, I was touched, and there are parts that did make me sad. Like, the pain that the divorce caused and the experience of a 14-year-old girl going through it. I was thrown back into that as I wrote it, and that was a surprise to me.

Also, when I did the audio recording and read the book out loud, I got choked up at times talking about things I never thought would affect me. I had to stop. A good friend of mine was directing me, and I said, “Let’s redo that.” She said “No, that’s gold! Don’t try and hide it.” So, the recording is sometimes a little rawer than my actual writing.

What are your thoughts on the upcoming Queer as Folk reboot?

I wish they used the original cast because I thought there were so many more stories to tell and the energy was so fabulous, but I think it’s wonderful that it’s being done. It’s a different time now. We had to educate a lot more with our show than what’s required now. I wish them great success, and I hope that it changes the world again.

outfrontma ga zine.com 43

Free Love Means

OFM thoughts

All Love

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It’s February, and romance is in the air!

Well, for some.

As we approach Valentine’s Day, with abundant conversions surrounding relationships and romance, we also look ahead to Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, from February 21-25. For many aromantic people, this time of year is a reminder that we are different from other people, that we often seek out different things from our lives and relationships than most.

So, as many folks relish in the gushy, lovey-dovey feelings of February, I implore you to take a little detour into the world of aromanticism and what it can mean for folks falling on that spectrum.

Aromanticism is a lesser talked about romantic orientation which describes folks whose experience surrounding romantic attraction is disconnected from society’s expectations, often with fleeting, little, or no romantic attraction.

It’s important here to note that there are different kinds of attraction and love—Romance is just a facet. So, it might be helpful here to distinguish the meaning of romantic love: It’s more specific, referring to an intense attraction involving an idealization of the other person, usually within an erotic context, featuring intimacy and passion prominently, usually involving a desire for a many-faceted connection.

When folks think of aromantic people, they often wrongly associate the orientation with a certain coldness or heartlessness, though again, romantic attraction is just one type, and not experiencing romantic attraction isn’t an indication of personality. Aromanticism doesn’t determine a person’s ability to feel love or attraction to another person.

Spectrum

OFM thoughts

The Aromantic

by Keegan Williams

o u t f r o n tm a g a z i n e. co m 45

OFM thoughts

For example, sexual attraction: Aromantic people can be asexual, but many are not. Just because a person is aromantic does not mean they aren’t sexually attracted to other people or don’t want to have sex.

There’s physical attraction, a desire to be around others, to be physically cared for, to be treated with affection. It’s a desire for physical and spacial contact within relationships, sexual and non-sexual. Similarly, emotional attraction is the want to be emotionally present with others. You want to share the things you are feeling with this person, and you have an investment in how they feel (aside from partners, think friends, parents, children, siblings, even pets).

Many aromantic people embrace these relationships and attractions which, even without romance, can ensure a life full of love. For anyone, some of our most important and love-filled relationships might be fully detached from romance.

Even aesthetic attraction stands apart, not inherently sexual or physical—Think of being in public and seeing a person walk down the street and just feeling drawn to that person, thinking they look good, being intrigued by how they show up in the world. While it could come with other feelings, it’s similar to seeing an eye-catching car or an interesting piece of art.

Some aromantic people don’t pursue partnerships at all, prioritizing other relationships in their lives, though it’s important to note that many just approach it differently. Partnerships might be akin to friendships, usually with a higher level of intimacy and commitment, just without being romantic in nature (sometimes called quasi-platonic or queerplatonic relationships).

Aromantic folks might prioritize chosen families and friendships, and many embrace principles of relationship anarchy, which encourage people to let their own values and goals guide how people craft their relationships rather than focusing on societal norms to dictate this. This might mean a partnership that has equal importance to the relationships with one’s platonic friends and family members, or a live-in partnership or co-parenting among platonic friends. The possibilities are abundant.

Aromantic folks might experience romantic attraction only after forming more intimate, emotional bonds;

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they might only experience romantic attraction when it’s reciprocated, with that attraction only to vanish if it isn’t; some aromantic people very rarely experience romantic attraction but have before; many aromantic people, who have yet to experience romantic attraction, still might have an openness for that opportunity to pursue a romantic relationship, should those feelings arise.

And often, the misconceptions around aromanticism come with this idea that a romantic partnership is a necessary element of the human experience, crucial for folks to be able to have a happy life. This is, plainly, a harmful belief for everyone. It often encourages people to enter or stay in unhealthy relationships or to distance themselves from others in their lives with the aim of maintaining a romantic relationship.

So, while February and Valentine’s Day are fine times to resonate in feelings of romance, it’s also an important reminder of the varied lived experiences we all have surrounding these conversations, which we often miscode as necessarily and crucial human need for all people.

Maybe, as we pass through February, this time can act as an invitation to any and all folks to continue growing with others in an authentic and affirming way for them, not shaped by the expectations and structures of society.

OFM thoughts o u t f r o n t m a g a z i n e. co m 47

OFM thoughts

V

O L

E

By Brian Aragon-Shafi Byrdsong

J

ohan was just an accountant by day. Xaire was just a customer service representative by night. Somehow, though, in the shift changes of Gemma’s Strip Joint, they passed each other by trading the glances of long-lost lovers just barely out of reach.

Johan Youngblood had, at one point, been the most sought-after accountant in the U.S. Seven years into his nationally acclaimed accounting, though, he made the smallest of errors that led the largest of losses and was promptly blacklisted by nearly every firm in the United States. He could only have his talents retained by a single, small business in the heart of a town that subsisted solely on liquor stores and dispensaries, and Johan did the accounting for most of them.

Despite that, he still managed to be underwater with all his finances, and so Gemma’s became his supplemental income. “Come join us,” the owner said. “We’re the world’s first and only nonbinary strip club! If the girls, the gays, the theys, and the mens want it, we have it!”

Xaire Cotele had bounced from job to job for years, and it wasn’t until they started working at Gemma’s that they truly knew what they wanted to do with their life. Performing had always been at the core of who they were, and for years, they denied themself that pleasure. So, when all of their side gigs dried up, they turned to stripping which, in

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all honestly, could have sustained them (they were popular at Gemma’s), and the rest was history. Or it would have been until Johan arrived.

Johan walked into Gemma’s on his first day with the swagger of a man who had never been told no in his entire life. And he kept that energy, despite Gemma constantly telling him no. “No, you can’t swing from the rafters; it’s a safety hazard. No, you can’t have our patrons touch you like that!” And yet, he did. And he made a ton of money doing it. Despite all of that, and Johan knowing he could date anyone in the crowd if he wanted, he only had eyes for Xaire.

Xaire had never had any plans to date, to fall in love, and to lust after someone else. In fact, they just enjoyed being by themself and entertaining the desires of others. That is, until Xaire walked into Gemma’s. From the moment they saw him, they were convinced they’d found the one. After four months of small talk and flirty eyes in the hallways and backrooms of Gemma’s, Xaire finally asked him out and their relationship began. Six months later, Xaire knew that there was no reason they should actually be together.

Johan’s family was one that reveled in crime. They’d had a long history of fraud and embezzlement, and they’d wanted Johan to join the family business. Instead, he decided to go to school, keep his head down, and stay on the straight and narrow. Because of this decision, the Youngbloods de-

cided to disown him. He was still allowed to come around, but he would never receive any help or support from them.

Xaire’s family, on the other hand, was super supportive and had been one of the most respected and well-known families in the nation. The Coteles were wealthy. In fact, Xaire’s grandfather had once been head of the largest tech firm in the nation, and he passed that wealth on to his children. And they, in turn, passed it on to their children.

Xaire wanted nothing to do with the money. They wanted to earn their own way in the world, and that they did.

After six months of “dating” though, they realized that on paper, they should never work. Their families were so opposite that it was laughable. Xaire’s parents certainly didn’t agree with their choice to date a Youngblood.

Johan’s family was equally as dismissive and thought that someone who couldn’t understand their family’s values would never fit in. So they left. They were happy with each other, and that was all that mattered to them. They stayed off of their families’ radars until time caught up to them, and their family duties required them to return.

...To Be Continued

o ut fr o ntm a g a z in e.co m 49

OFM thoughts

Years ago, when I first heard the term polyamory, I was not familiar with the term, nor did I know anyone personally who was open about their non-monogamous relationship.

When I thought of what it could mean back then, I thought of swinging or open relationships, mainly in a sexual sense.

At the time, this mindset was pretty common, as societal norms empathize that there is one person out there for you, and it is up to you to find them. However, in the time since my first non-monogamous relationship, there has been a shift in the presence of various relationship dynamics.

This shift over the past few years is allowing more couples outside of solely patriarchal and religious structures, to have visibility and to also educate those who are open to exploring various dynamics. Ethical non-monogamy is the practice of silmutaneously having multiple romantic or sexual partners where everyone involved is aware of and has consented to the relationship structure.

Getting The Kinks Out

By Brianna Janae

“

My relationships are not defined by my partners experiences with others but with my experiences with my partners.

‘

”

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In short, people who are polyamorous practice nonmonogamy. Each relationship, platonic or romantic, can have it’s own specific parameters and dynamic. Not every couple who explores an open-relationship dynamic shares the experience together. In some cases, one partner or partners dates outside of the relationship, while the other does not. The beauty in these nontraditional relationship structures is the personalization to love languages, desires, and needs. This elevates the pressure that one person has to be one’s “everything.”

As someone who took the traditional route in my early dating journey, it wasn’t until my mid 20s that I took a dive in the non-monogamous lifestyle. While I would say that my own emotional capacity has expanded to do so, I do think that being in the non-monogamous realm isn’t for the faint of heart.

A certain level of self-awareness, security, and emotional stability was gained before I ventured out. Truthfully, when I was not as secure in who I am, my sense of self in dating relied heavily on my partner. For some it is instinctive, and self-confidence regarding romance comes naturally. But for many of us, that trust and inner validation takes time. The process of evolving from that possessive insecure partner to the sexually liberated secure partner I am now, has taken time.

This journey was not solely emotional but also physical.

I get to choose and make consensual, intentional, or intimate connections on my own terms. When it comes to sexual freedom outside of the monogamous world, this is the line where many are curious to venture to. The kinky lifestyle can be perceived by the outside world in the same lines of polyamory, but they do have their differences. In some cases people use “kink or kinky” interchangeably with BDSM. BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism. However, the two can be separate, and not everyone who is kinky practices BDSM or

A kink is something that turns you on which you can choose to incorporate into play with your partner or partners. A fetish is a sexual act, scenario, or object which usually is present in order for a person to feel maximally turned on.

Sex is still enjoyable without kink or fetishes, but sex can be more fulfilling with them included in and outside of the bedroom.

For those who appreciate mental stimulation, kink does not always have to involve physical touch. Some people who engage in the practice get turned on intellectually, emotionally, and through voyeurism. This can be done together or separate. Couples who practice swinging, attend sexual play parties, or engage in sexual encounters together or seperate could be under the “open relationship” umbrella term. These couples often have a specific arrangement that allows for sexual or intimacy outside of the relationship within specific boundaires or rules.

Some of these partnerships include a “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell” relationship boundary. In this particular relationship style, there’s an understanding of the connections outside of the centered relationships but the details regarding those experiences are not of interest to the partner. This is different from one partner wanting to pursue non-monogamy and the other not wanting to.

These factors are important to me in an emotional connection, but they are not always an influence in my physical encounters. In a kinky encounter, each individual has the autonomy to do what works best. Some might be watching, some might be participating, or everyone might be involved.

The acts in these experiences do not always lead to a further romantic dynamics but can be an outlet for sexual exploration.

These dynamics allow me to explore the lines between being desired and having room to explore my own fantasies. The value in being able to provide pleasure, empathy, and a friendship allows me to keep each connection I make open to variation. I don’t think of sex as a performative act but rather a collaboration.

relationships. I feel sexy in almost any state; I do not feel afraid to express my needs, wants, or desires. Another factor that is enjoyable in kinky and open-relationships is communication and consent.

When it comes to my personal experiences as both someone in the kinky lifestyle and non-monogamy realm, I’ve experienced healthy and unhealthy situations. My first experience with non-monogamy was with two partners in a pre-existing relationship who wanted a closed triad or throuple dynamic. This relationship ultimately showed me what it meant to be non-monogamous but non-ethically.

The hierarchical structure of this relationship let me know that I prefer building my open-partnerships without steep hierarchical structures.

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considers it a lifestyle choice. This does allow the space for couples to explore their inner desires and fantasies without emotionally opening up their relationship.

In a perfect world, relationships between partners would be emotionally and sexually equal. But that is definitely not always the case. In my experience, relationship equity sets more of a precedent than relationship “equality.” What this means to me is that, based on the relationship structure, life experiences such as sharing a home, children, or even financial responsponsibilities that an existing relationship might take more tending to in various periods.

My relationships are not defined by my partners experiences with others but with my experiences with my partners. The idea of the “missing puzzle piece’’ can be an exhausting feat. It is not entirely our fault, as we are shown we have to seek a partner since adolescence. Not just a partner, but someone who is your soulmate, who completes us. Consent is a priority in kink spaces, and safety is priority to me.

While I know that nonmonogamy and kink isn’t for everyone I do think it is worth exploring, but at your own emotional capacity’s discretion. I do think that it’s greatly improved my own views on love, sex, and partnerships.

Entering the kinky lifestyle also has changed my perception on body image and what is viewed as “sexy:” In kinky spaces, bodies of all kinds can be appreciated and sometimes even worshiped. The reclamation of my own body after trauma, sexual assault, and through my sex work journey has shown me the power of self-love within my sexuality. My body image has continued to improved the further I dove into less traditional views of sex and outfrontmagazine.com 51

OFM thoughts

Navigating Cis-Focused Apps and Dating as a Nonbinary Person

By Keegan Williams

T

he cursed greeting-card holiday approaches yet again, and I find myself evaluating my relationship with dating, partnership, and intimacy over the decade I’ve attempted some semblance of embracing it as an aromantic, queer person.

I’ve been out as queer since I was 16 (I’m 28 now), though I think I’ve always had some trouble dating and being intimate, with men specifically—some of that may be my aromanticism, but it surely connects to my journey with gender and sexuality.

It wasn’t until my mid 20s when I understood I was attracted to people of all genders and until my late 20s when I came out and began living openly as nonbinary.

I can safely tell you that it made my relationship with dating and intimacy even more complicated.

Dating and casual relationships often feel like a pre-emptive brace for impact; it’s an insecurity, often confirmed in action, that a cis person I’m dating or being intimate with generally doesn’t see me as I’ve described, rather lazily defaulting to a false assumption that I’m a cis man who is asking them to use they/them pronouns for me.

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I remember having a pretty fun time with someone last year, only to be misgendered continually after I’d already disclosed my pronouns and gender, brushed aside as I corrected him. The sex was fun, but the rest of it, not so much. We didn’t see each other again.

The gay, male space has been supremely strange and toxic to navigate in my experience, and I can’t make that sentiment without referencing the hellscape that is Grindr, which I’ve deleted and redownloaded more times than I can count. I often don’t reply to messages given the amount of hard boundaries I’ve set for myself regarding the behavior of other users.

So, of course, part of this solution is—Keegan, get the fuck off

Grindr. Many cis, gay men, and others, have led conversations encouraging others to delete the app because of how toxic it can be.

Though, it’s not like the other options are inclusive either, and that comes down to programming choices on behalf of developers.

Apps like Tinder and Bumble were all designed innately for cis, straight people, and it’s clear using the app as a nonbinary, queer person. As an empty gesture, they allow you to selfidentify your gender as nonbinary on your profile, but you can’t save the option before the interface asks the user if they would like to be shown to people looking for men or women.

Hinge recently updated their app allowing people to choose nonbinary as an option for themselves or the people they want to see.

The Hinge FAQ states: “With support from GLAAD, Hinge continues to develop an authentic, empowering, and positively impactful experience for the LGBTQ+ community on Hinge. This is especially important for nonbinary people who are often disappointed and disheartened by apps that aren’t affirming of their identity.”

The thing is, I don’t want to be shown to people who are looking for men. Some people may perceive me as a man—that’s on them—but I’m not. I want to see people who are looking for nonbinary people. I want to be shown to people who, potentially, have already interrogated their own relationship and perception to gender; I want to have the knowledge before I’m entering a vulnerable scenario that I am seen and that my experience is valued. *Enter the cis folks who will usually interject about now.*

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So, essentially, the app is saying, “Are you BOY nonbinary or GIRL nonbinary,” which is … entirely missing the point and a total misunderstanding of many nonbinary people and their relationship (or lack thereof) to gender.

Beyond the Binary experiences when we’re trying to build relationships.

This sort of gymnastics is part of the reason I’m increasingly looking more for T4T relationships, dating and being intimate only with other trans folks with that inherent understanding that being recognized and affirmed in my gender will not be an obstacle I must conquer.

OkCupid is better overall. They do not place nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people back into boxes, instead allowing users to select from the same list of expansive gender options for themselves along with those genders they would like to see. So, if you don’t want to date nonbinary people, if you don’t want to date someone who has marked themself as transfeminine or genderqueer, don’t select them. They probably don’t want to date you, either.

I posted about this on TikTok last year after briefly trying out Bumble for the first time, and a commenter replied: “There are nonbinary people I’m attracted to as a gay man, but if I’m making a dating profile, I’m gonna The fact is, so many of these conversations center the check a box saying I’m looking for men.” wants of cis folks, which is ironic given that these apps, To which, I posted a video reply saying: “Unfortunately, these conventions, this world, is already built for them. this comment really reads as, ‘I will date nonbinary people who I perceive as men,’ and this goes two ways, I don’t have some sort of grand, forward-looking, hopeful right? It’s not all about you. I want to date people who moral to end this column. I honestly do not know how to are going to affirm my gender and see me as a nonbinary navigate this. I have set more firm boundaries for myself when interacting with cis folks online, and ultimately have person, not people who see me as a man.” switched gears in hopes of expanding my in-person queer Most of the comments on that semi-viral TikTok (more community, hopefully with more trans folks, and exploring than 200,000 views) were from trans and nonbinary love and intimacy the old-fashioned way—not through a people empathizing, with the few cis people centering phone. themselves and their feelings on apps that are already I would like to find a compatible partner, or partners, built for them. at some point. I would love a world where trans folks If the genitals of the nonbinary person you are about can navigate these very human needs with the same to swipe on are so important to you, then maybe it IS accessibility and acceptance as their cis counterparts. best that you just stick to cis folks. No one is forcing cis people to date us. That programming detriment essentially welcomes opportunities that threaten the safety and potential violence toward trans users, and if not that, just uncomfortable and unwelcoming outfrontmagazine.com 53

Q&A

OFM thoughts

Queer Girl

Picking a Side

with Eleni Stephanides

Q: As a bisexual woman, I’m happy that queerness is so much more accepted now than it used to be. Still, I feel like I continue to come up against a fair share of tepidness, discomfort, and sometimes even outright rejection when I tell others I’m bi—even within the LGBTQ community, where you’d think they’d be more accepting.

Why do people think this way?

How do I convince those who tell me I need to “choose a side” that I’m not confused?

A: I remember when hints of potential bisexuality surfaced for me at the young age of 7. As I watched The Odyssey, I asked myself (while Penelope and Odysseus kissed): What would it be like to kiss him?

What would it be like to kiss her?

In kindergarten, I crushed on a boy named Tommy, ever since the day in art class when he’d politely asked me if I was finished using the bunny stencil yet. Later on, I wrote in my diary about his fudge-dark hair and really, really green eyes (which, according to the entries, “shined like two stars caught inside a pair of lime-flavored jelly beans”).

As a preteen, every month, I’d rip open newly arrived issues of Super Teen, Tiger Beat, and J-14 to see which dreamy pop stars they’d included posters of this time.

And as a teenager, I dated boys.

Bisexuality is normal and common.

Alfred Kinsey’s (controversial) studies in the 1960s suggested that a substantial portion of us fall somewhere along the spectrum of sexuality, with few people 100 percent heterosexual or homosexual.

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There is also evidence of our cavemen ancestors and the ancient Greeks having engaged in it. Many of our friends in the animal kingdom still practice it.

Even though I no longer identify as bi, in my younger years I did—and remember the sting of invalidation when my therapist at the time responded with skepticism to my mentioning a crush on a boy months after I’d told her I liked girls— seemingly dubious to the possibility of bisexuality.

Many bi people experience this, and what’s frustrating is that a lot of them are not confused. Some people are equally attracted to all genders— or, when choosing a partner, focus less on gender than on other aspects of a person.

Yet the encouragement to “just pick a side” persists. So does the belief that the bi person is either really just gay— perhaps too filled with internalized homophobia to fully renounce their straight privilege— or actually just straight, merely trying the gay life on the way one might sport a trendy badge, or to seem more woke.

As a kid, I used to watch the World Cup soccer games on TV with my dad. I think now about how I would always get so confused when, during the penalty kicks (awarded either after a player was fouled or to break a tie score after 90 minutes), sometimes the goalie would dive in the exact opposite direction of where the ball was headed.

Seated next to him with a bowl of popcorn in my lap, I’d ask my dad why the goalie did this. Was he afraid of the ball? (Subconsciously) afraid of winning? Deliriously driven to make illogical decisions after

such a long and tiring game? Maybe his energy was completely zapped, resulting in cognitive fatigue that made him irrational.

It turned out the answer, my dad explained, was because the ball travels so fast that the goalie doesn’t have time to rationally predict its trajectory. Instead, he must act on impulse.

This goalie still comes to mind when I hear bi people telling me they’ve been encouraged to pick a side. A lot of life is binary like this. People tell you you’re the goalie, and the ball’s coming at you fast. Which direction will it be?

So you hurry up and choose one.

Many decide they’re straight or gay because these are tidy and convenient boxes to fit into—even if in their hearts, they know they rest more comfortably somewhere along the spectrum. Or maybe “bi” doesn’t feel fully accurate because they do prefer one gender over the other; but still have some attraction toward the other gender.

Know that it’s OK to to identify however you choose—regardless of your past sexual behavior or even if you find yourself very occasionally attracted to a gender that falls outside your typical range of attraction.

In short, you don’t need to convince anyone. Much easier said than done—but so long as these attitudes persist, consider connecting with others who feel the same as you (of which there are quite a few). It’s important to have a space to talk about these experiences with people who can relate firsthand.

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MASSAGE

REAL ESTATE

OFM cannabis

Nugs for Free Love Nothing says free love and sexy stimulation like cannabis. Whether you love to light one up or take a dab with your significant other or others, or pop an edible before getting in the love zone, you need to check out these suggestions for some top-quality cannabis

Ripple’s Mixed Berry QuickSticks Ripple can do no wrong when it comes to their tasty, discreet, and portable QuickSticks. They’ve already branched into fast-acting, flavorless sticks and other awesome innovations, and now, their fast-acting stick come in a mixed berry variety. Don’t miss out on the latest from our friends at Ripple.

Wana Quick Fast-Acting Cosmopolitan 1:1 Gummies Continuing in their tradition of fast-acting gummies themed around delicious drinks, the new Cosmopolitan through Wana has notes of orange, citrus, and cranberry that blend delightfully with the sweet and sour flavor. Powered by Azuca’s fast-acting Thermodynamic individual Molecular Encapsulation nanotechnology (TiME), Wana Quick Fast-Acting Gummies deliver Delta-9 THC directly to the bloodstream with effects that mirror the onset and offset time of typical inhalable cannabis products or alcoholic beverages. Pop one, and feel the effects almost instantly!

Cannabolish Odor-Removing Gel, Candle, Spray If you live with roommates or partners who aren’t smokers, or you’re just conscientious about keeping your home smoke-free, it’s worth it to invest in Cannabolish products.

Simply burn the candle; open the gel; spray the spray after a sesh, and you’ll notice a big change in your home air quality and smell. Products are non-toxic and natural, and the pine smell is mild and pleasant.

outfrontmagazine.com 57

Imbolc

LIGHT EMERGING

By Alanna L.P.

From Darkness

Haven’t heard of Imbolc? No worries; here’s the witchy history! The Witch’s Wheel of the Year is a sequence of pagan holidays that fall every six weeks. These festivals are a way to honor the sacredness of the changing of the seasons. I started following the Wheel of the Year 10 years ago, and each year, I learn something new and beautiful about the way nature changes her garments.

Hemisphere. (if you were in the Southern Hemisphere, you would be celebrating Lammas.)

Some of you may have heard that many of our holidays have their roots in pagan festivals.

Halloween is probably the most famous pagan-turned-secular holiday, but did you know that Februar y 2, Groundhog ’s Day, has its roots in the ancient festival of the Irish goddess, Brighid , the goddess of the hearth and home?

A Simple Ostara Spell This is a simple spell that doesn’t require any kind of complicated rituals or tools.

Imbolc, which also falls on Februar y 2 ever y year, is a fire festival that celebrates winter loosening its grip. Even if we sometimes are digging our cars out of the snow through May in Colorado, the days are getting longer, and the Spring Equinox is only six weeks away. Both Groundhog ’s Day and Imbolc celebrate the return of the light and the journey toward the warmer months in the Northern

Farmers start planning what crops they are going to grow at this time of year. Some people start planning what to plant in their gardens. Think of your life as a garden, and start to plan what you want to grow in 2022.

Take some time to create a sacred space in your house. Choose a clean, clear surface to act as your altar. You may want to listen to music you find empowering as you prepare to do this spell. If you would like to burn some sage or light some incense to clear the air, take a moment to do so before you begin a short meditation.

Hold your hand over your seeds, and quiet your mind. Ask yourself, “What do I want to grow this year?” As your wishes come to mind, feel what it would feel like to have what you want the most.

Paint the image in your mind like a picture that you’re ready to step into. It is never healthy to impose your will on others, so if you’re looking for love, it’s best to let y our en erg y attra ct th e ri g ht p ers on to y ou in st ea d of fo cu sin g on a sp e ci f i c in div i du al . O th er w i se, th e sky i s th e limit!

O n c e y our s a cred sp a c e i s pre p ared , m edit at e on w h at y ou want to “g row ” thi s year.

P l a c e o bje ct s th at re pre sent thi s i d ea on y our alt ar. O r, y ou m ay want to m ake a v ision b o ard to h an g o v er y our alt ar to in spire y ou durin g y our w ork. Sit down and jour-

You may want to say this simple

Charge the seeds for however long

blessing or write one of your own:

feels right. When you feel ready, you can end the ritual by announcing:

As the light of the day returns I ask these seeds

nal about what you would like 2022 to manifest if you feel called to. Ostara is a fire festival, so safely light a candle on your altar. (Please do not leave candles unattended.) Battery-operated candles also work great for spaces with pets or children.

So mote it be!

To manifest what I yearn.

Then extinguish the candles.

You may choose to get started right away and pot your seeds indoors.

Or, you can tuck them away in a safe space to save them to plant outside in warmer weather.

Whenever you plant, the seeds doesn’t matter. If you care for your plants as you would for your future, you may start noticing how your plant’s growth will coincide with the manifestation of your goals.

Blessed Imbolc!

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Metal Meltdown Metal Bands as Radical Community

By Addison Herron-Wheeler

There’s a concept that floats around the polyamorous community, via memes, posts, and other means of communication, that the best thing about being poly isn’t the glamorous stuff—sex and having multiple, hot partners to bring to functions and have on your arm. The best thing about it—and I can say from experience this is true—is what it teaches you about relationships, yourself, others, and how to relate to your community.

By that same line of logic, I’d argue that the best things about being in a band aren’t the glamorous things you might think of, like fame and adoration, partying and overconsumption, the free drinks and big egos. The part that is truly the most rewarding are the things playing in an underground metal band can teach you about community and connection.

Whenever you start to play music with someone, you form a special connection to that person musically. And just like in romantic or friendship pairings, that relationship is going to look different than every other connection. In a band, each member will have a connection to every other member, and then the band will have a chemistry together that is different from those pairings or from being a solo artist.

I’ve found that as a bassist, similar to the role I like to take in relationships, I enjoy being that gobetween or connecting piece that makes the parts whole. I have a connection to the drummer because we’re the rhythm section. We’re staying steady and keeping the tempo while the guitars and vocals (usually) take the lead. And I have a connection to the vocalist and guitarist because, in addition to being married, we write the string parts together and collaborate on song structures and ideas.

Playing music with other folks also teaches about resource sharing and community connections. All of a sudden, you’re needing to split your expenses and money coming in with multiple folks, and you have to figure out how to do that in a fair and equitable way. And most bands, at least healthily structured ones, don’t have anyone in charge as a leader. Rather, they are an example of a communal collective in which everyone has a say.

The long and short of it is, community connection and loving collaboration aren’t only for poly folks, or folks who are sexually and/or romantically active. They’re also for artists who choose to create together, and by doing so, you can learn a lot about yourself and the people around you.

outfrontmagazine.com 59

OFM style

Beauty Beat

By Angel Omar Rivera

The season of love is upon us! Now, what better way to share the love than by getting yourselves gifts to show the love? Here you will find some hidden gems and best sellers that really will keep you looking like the royalty you are, giving your skin a soft glow look you can’t hide.

EM Cosmetics: Daydream Cushion Foundation SPF This Korean makeup wonder is brought to us by EM Cosmetics. Founded by YouTube makeup OG Michelle Phan, this cushion foundation will give you lightbuildable coverage with SPF 50. This foundation is also packed with skin-loving ingredients like niacinamide, Goji berry extract, rice water, and green tea. The formula comes in six universal shades, ranging from light to deep optically defusing to match your skin tone. This quick cover-up will have you covered in skin loving goodness.

Tula: Glow & Get It Cooling & Brightening Eye Balm Living in an arid climate, Colorado may leave your skin, especially your under eyes, feeling dry and crepe-esque. Tula has you covered with this quick, hydrating, and cooling eye balm that you can use as a part of your usual routine or on the go. Hyaluronic acid and probiotics in the stick make your skin plump and hydrated, while apple and watermelon extracts help botanically reduce the look of fine lines and wrinkles.

This mini blue wonder can be used anywhere to refresh dry or chapped skin on the face. Giving you a bouncy glow while instantly tightening and firming the skin.

Beekman 1802: Pure Goat Milk Body Bar If you are dealing with dry, itchy skin or even eczema, then fear not: Beekman has created a body bar that will get your skin back on track. This vegetable-based soap, that also uses goat milk to help hydrate skin and return its pH balance to normal, will get irritated skin feeling calm and rehydrated.

Not only will you feel clean, but the formulation is also hypoallergenic, making it the ideal soap for people with sensitive skin, even helping tame and reduce redness and itch.

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MAC: Glow Play Lip Balm With six, beautiful shades, this balm will give your lips a healthy, lustrous look while also reducing the look of lines and natural plumping! All stemming from its mixture of jojoba seed oil, mango seed oil, and even shea butter, this glow is no joke. Not only can it be used on days where you just want to look the dewiest but can be paired with your favorite lip liner to create that glossy stained glass lip effect that has become viral on TikTok. Give these lippies a try if you are tired of your plain old Chapstick, you are sure to be surprised.

Kiehl’s Since 1851: Midnight Recovery Concentrate.

This by far is the one product you cannot compromise on. This nightly facial oil made with lavender essential oil to soothe, evening primrose oil for skin elasticity, and squalene to improve your skin’s natural barrier IS THE ANSWER. Press this oil into the skin, and use it before your moisturizer. By morning, you will visibly see results in hydration and radiance. Over time, you will see the reduction of fine lines and some wrinkling, but if you are looking for an overnight rehab, the midnight recovery concentrate makes your skin look and feel dolphin smooth.

Korres: Greek Yoghurt Foaming Cream Cleanser.

A superfood cream cleanser gives skin the cleansing and hydration your face needs without stripping the skin. A mixture of prebiotics and sea minerals keep the skin radiant and improve texture, the ultra-foamy nature of this facial cleanser reaches deep into pores to gently eliminate impurities and remove makeup. This Mediterranean wonder will give you a comforting clean without stripping the skin, Keep these products in mind the next time you are shopping online or looking for a complexion booster. In the season of love, you deserve to love the skin you are born in.

By Angel Omar Rivera

When thinking about high fashion, designers, expensive fabrics, pompous taste, and couture tend to float into the mind. You may not expect straps, tight leather, and latex to be the new wave designers are gravitating toward. To be frank, fringe is in, and the way we express ourselves privately has now bled into the public domain.

For the unprimed, I’m talking about bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, or BDSM. Partaking in BDSM is not always inherently sexual, and it often provides a safe space for people who like to be submissive and dominant with rules and understanding. However, as extreme as some BDSM can seem from the outside, it should always be done with consent from all parties and come from a place of wanting to express our primal states of subjugation and domination.

With all this said, where does fashion come into play?

Iris Van Herpen and her 2012 fall/ winter haute couture followed the many conventions of latex fashion and turned it on its head by incorporating large, buoyant silhouettes a la Rei Kawakubo and her avant-garde form factors. Van Herpen’s designs garnered a lot more buzz during the 2018 Met Gala’s “fashion in the Catholic imagination” theme worn by Solange Knowles, who showed up looking as ethereal and subjective as a biblically accurate angel. Even after heavenly latex, leather is one of the more prominent fabrics in the BDSM community.

Zana Bayne, a leather goods designer, has created harnesses and handbags and collabed on “sex-cessories” with Marc Jacobs which have become THE primo leather brands for BDSM and kink accessories, even outfitting Beyoncé’s backup dancers during her legendary 2016 Super Bowl performance. She is pushing leather wear even further into the stratosphere of fashion and design.

black harness by Louis Vuitton and Virgil Abloh. Then Michael B. Jordan followed suit in a more colorful, pastel harness hugging his upper body during the SAG Awards, which caused quite a commotion with news and fashion outlets everywhere, shining a light on fashion accessories that have been worn by people in the leather and BDSM community for years before its jump in popularity. Some see this trend as a great opportunity to reach for more boundary-pushing fashion, while others worry about the fine line between sensual and sensible. Either way, BDSM fashion has found a new home in the mainstream.

OFM style

From Fringe to fasion, BDSM in the Mainstream

Starting in the 2000s, mainstream fashion LGBTQ icon Lady Gaga started to appear in a patterned leather suit that hugged her body skin tight for her hit single “Bad Romance,” getting people to speak about her peculiar sense of fashion. Continuing this trend, she made her appearance at the 2011 Grammy awards enclosed in an egg, while her stagehands and models were draped in formfitting latex in beige. The choice to go against the grain of the night’s traditional opulence created a stir for designers looking for new fabrics to dress people in. Gaga is not the only celeb to bring in a touch of kink into her red carpet looks, creating a stir in couture.

Both positive and negative, the boundarypushing silhouettes, and form factors give people in the BDSM and kink community new and creative ways to express their interests in a more publicly accepted manner.

(No kink shaming here.) However, some argue it also allows people to adopt the aesthetic without the proper appreciation and knowledge of how far the community has gone to advocate for themselves to be seen in a more positive scope. Fashion is shrouded in a very thin veil of appreciation and appropriation and should be explored in a proper and respectful manner.

Following suit with more leather and straps, in 2019, Timothee Chalamet arrived at the Golden Globe awards in a bedazzled, outfrontma ga zine.com 61

OFM astrology

Horoscopes February 2022

By Alanna L.P.

Welcome to Alanna L.P.’s Uplifting Horoscopes. These are very general readings that will resonate with many but not all of you. That’s OK! Take away what makes sense, and leave what doesn’t behind. If you want a deeper understanding of what to expect this month, read your sun sign, your rising sign, and your moon sign.

You can find what these are by going to cafeastrology.com to get a free birth chart reading.

Aries You’ll continue to see big financial changes for the next couple of years. This will be a result of the internal changes you’ve undergone over the past two months. You may have noticed a transformation post- Venus and Mercury retrograde. Walking away is the best outcome. The lessons you learned are so important.

Mantra: Let the healing begin.

Taurus Makeover time! You may have had a wild Venus retrograde, but now it’s time to unpack what your self-exploration taught you. Take some time for self-care, and enjoy much-needed downtime. It’s OK that your heart and your dreams are changing.

If you’re feeling the call to return to school, now is the time.

Mantra: Ready for a new version of me.

Gemini Get ready for revolutions in love, Gemini. This is a time when you can get adventurous with how you express affection. The old structures may not be working anymore after Venus retrograde gave your courage to remove your mask. A newfound sense of trust in someone special could lead to literal sexual healing. Even though we may not see people as often as we wish these days, if you’re looking for love, make sure you look sharp wherever you go.

You never know who you might run into. Flaunt it: because you’ve got it.

Mantra: I embrace the freedom to be me.

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Cancer Wedding bells may be ringing soon, Cancer. If you’ve been thinking about popping the question to your beloved, now is the time. If you’re looking for love, you may be feeling the call to settle down.

Let that special someone feed the fire in your soul.

Mantra: Love Blossoms.

Leo Now that Venus retrograde has passed, you may feel different about your relationships. You’ve had your fun, and now you want to be of service. This will continue to attract the attention you want, but remember, do it for that big ol’ lion, heart. And if you’re asked to make a promise, do it from the heart. These events could lead to big leadership opportunities you’ve been waiting for.

Mantra: When I live from my heart, I shine like the sun.

Virgo Structures may feel like they’re crumbling around you, dear Virgo. If it’s time to part ways with a long-term partner, start sorting out who takes what. This ending is happening to make way for a new beginning. A healthier lifestyle awaits you once you’re used to the change.

Mantra: It’s better this way.

Libra If things seem tough, dear Libra, seek grounding with a trusted, maternal figure. If someone is bringing the drama, bring the revolution, and be gone. Virgo and Libra partnerships may be on the rocks. Approach conflicts with a softer side.

Mantra: It’s only fair that it ends here.

Scorpio There could be miscommunications with maternal figures this month. Take the leap in matters of the heart, and let love in.

Mantra: I allow myself to be loved.

Sagittarius You’ll be in flow with your finances this month, Sagittarius.

You may learn a thing or two about communication from someone who’s dear to you. Turn to your sisters for the support you need. Now that you’re in flow, it’s time to move that body. It’s never too early to get ready for warmer weather.

Mantra: Mind, body, spirit.

Capricorn It’s time to ground yourself ! Develop a routine, and stick to it.

Once you’ve got your time management under control, you’ll have more time to relax and play.

Mantra:Work smarter not harder.

Aquarius Don’t be hard on yourself. If you’re not crazy about how you look or feel right now, it’s OK. Your success is expanding, and you may not have time to focus on superficial things. Take some time for some long overdue pampering. You’ll feel uplifted once you’re back in balance.

Mantra: I deserve a break.

Pisces There will be rebirths with how you present yourself to your family and social groups. Your community is here to support you in the face of changes.

Mantra: I am not alone.

Alanna L.P. is the owner of Magdalena Tarot, an occult lifestyle brand.

She is known best for her internationally renowned predictions based on tarot, numerology, and astrology. She was also the resident psychic for Witch Way Magazine from fall, 2015-fall 2016 and interned with Biddy Tarot. If you enjoy her horoscopes, check out Magdalena Tarot Magazine on Amazon. She lives in Denver, Colorado. outfrontmagazine.com 63

OFM

BAR TAB | Colorado Nightlife

BLUSH & BLU

ICONS

1526 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 484-8548 bluebludenver.com

3 E. Bijou St. Colorado Springs (719) 300-7863 Instagram- @icons_colorado

BOYZTOWN

LI’L DEVILS

WILD CORGI PUB

255 S. Broadway St. Denver (303) 733-1156 Facebook- @lildevilslounge

1223 E. 13th Ave. Denver (303) 832-7636 wildcorgipub.com

LIPSTICK DISCOTEQUE

CHARLIE DWELLINGTON’S 1103 N. 1st St. Grand Junction (970) 241-4010 charliedwellingtons.com

5660 W. Colfax Ave. Denver (720) 669-3470 Facebook- @lipstickdiscoteque

829 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com

CHARLIE’S NIGHTCLUB

MILLERS & ROSSI

900 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com

3452 Walnut St. Denver (720) 257-5342 millersandrossi.com

#VYBE 1027 N. Broadway St. Denver (720) 573-8886 303vybe.com

776 N. Lincoln St. Denver (720) 598-5648 denversweet.com $2 Taco Tuesdays with $5 House Margaritas Wednesdays Big Gay Trivia 7pm Sunday Bears on The Roof Beer Bust 4-8pm

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THE TRIANGLE BAR 2036 N. Broadway St. Denver (303) 658-0913 triangledenver.com

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TRADE 475 Santa Fe Dr. Denver (720) 627-5905 Facebook- @tradedenver

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TRACKS 3500 Walnut St. Denver (303) 836-7326 tracksdenver.com

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1336 E. 17th Ave. Denver (303) 993-5812 hamburgermarys.com/denver

TIGHT END BAR 1501 E. Colfax Ave. (303) 861-9103 tightendbar.com

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SANTA FE DR. KALAMATH ST.

FUSIONS BAR & GRILL 3053 Brighton Blvd. Denver (303) 862-7376 Facebook- @fusionsbardenver

F US I O N S

4958 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 320-9337 Facebook- @randrdenver

BROADWAY

EL POTRERO 4501 E. Virginia Ave. Glendale (303) 388-8889 Facebook- @elpotreroclub

R&R LOUNGE

DOWNING ST.

DENVER SWEET

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DOWNING ST.

117 Broadway St. Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com

OFM reviews

Random Reviews for Hot Rendezvous We had a few fun goodies lying around from after the holiday season, so we wanted to spread some V-day cheer. Whether you’re looking for the perfect gift or the perfect night of romance, we’ve got you covered.

Barefoot Dreams CozyChic Ultralite Skull Print Scarf The beginnings of this Colorado winter were… a bit warm, to say the least. That’s why when the snow came in, I was so excited to finally get the opportunity to try this beautiful scarf from Barefoot Dreams. It is just the right amount of heavy to block out the cold winds. It’s also super cute, and as any scarf aficionado knows can be worn multiple ways. I paired it with an off-the-shoulder dress and was able to elevate my look, all while staying warm. Whoever said that fashion wasn’t functional have clearly never used this scarf. You can find your Barefoot Dreams accessory at barefootdreams.com.

Ooni Karu 12 Pizza Oven

Avocado Green Mattress - Latex

Love pizza? Hate delivery fees? Well, the team over at Ooni have the solution. Make your own woodfired pizza at home.

I had the opportunity to test out the Pizza Oven and I. Am. Stunned. It’s portable and, as long as you follow the cooking instructions, provides a perfect, delicious pizza every single time. My husband and I were able to cook a bunch of miniature pepperoni pizzas for ourselves and friends, and we also had fun doing it. We placed the pizza oven on our apartment patio and went to work. We were also the envy of our neighbors, as several walked by and were intrigued enough to ask! Find your Ooni at Ooni.com.

Having a sensitive back makes it hard to find a bed that’s not too soft and also not too stiff. Avocado Green mattress knows this, and they’ve come up with some amazing mattresses. Avocado Latex Mattress was the one I chose to go with, and I couldn’t be happier I did! I can’t recall the last time I slept as well as I have on this mattress. We spend a lot of our time on a mattress, so we should make it a great one! This latex mattress is their most sustainable mattress yet! Getting this for yourself will be a choice you’ll never forget!

Bator Balm - The Gentlemen’s Lubricant When it comes to self-pleasure, Bator-Balm stands out above the rest. Pleasuring oneself should never be something to be embarrassed about. Everyone deserves a pleasureful “me-time,” and this lubricant was crafted to help you achieve just that! Edging done right can make all the difference in the world when you finally climax. For your next “edge session,” make sure you get yourself some Bator Balm; you’ll really be glad you did!

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OFM lust

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’ve gone to get massages before, but this was the first time with this masseur. They called my name and told me they’re ready for me now. I walked down the hallway hesitantly, as if I were waiting for a big surprise.

I entered the room where I was to have my massage, and the masseur was standing there waiting. He smiled and seemed to almost look me over, and said he’d step out to let me get under the sheet.

I removed my clothes in the comforting, relaxing space and started to get under the sheet when I noticed a bottle of lube under his table. I placed my head down and waited for him to return. I wonder why he has lube under his table?

Maybe that bottle was massage oil instead of lube, I could be wrong.

He knocked on the door and asked if I was ready. I said yes, and he walked in and started to get set up. He started to oil up his hands and asked where the pain was focused, and I told him my lower back. He pulled the sheet down just past my lower back. He asked how I came across him to book my massage, and I told him my friend was the one who booked it for me. He said it would be an experience I’d never forget.

As I said that, he paused, massaging me for a moment, and asked me, “is that so?” I answered yes.

He said he needed to step out for a moment and wouldn’t be long. I started wondering if I said something wrong or something I shouldn’t, but before I could worry too much,

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he did the knock warning and came back in, re-oiled, and started up again. He pulled my arms toward him on the table and began to work on them. The more he rubbed my arms, the more his body was directly over mine.

The more he kept working my arms, the more his bulge pressed up against the top of my head. I started to picture what he looked like when I entered the room, and he did indeed have quite the bulge. I was surprised I didn’t notice it sooner. Was this what my friend had in mind for me, or was this also in my head like the bottle of lube? He moved toward the lower portion and asked if I minded if he removed the sheet so it wouldn’t get in the way. I said sure.

He was now standing by my feet and rubbing my legs. The more he rubbed my legs, the higher his hands went, and the higher his hands went, the closer to my ass his hands got.

He asked if I was enjoying myself and if the pressure was alright. I said “Yeah” between breaths, and I almost sounded bashful. Given the fact I was laying naked and without a sheet, I was anything but bashful.

The room felt warmer, and I couldn’t stop thinking of how wonderful his hands felt. In a whisper, he asked if I would mind if he took his clothes off because he was feeling a little hot. When he got close enough to ask, I could smell his cologne, and it smelled amazing. I noticed I started to get hard. I told him yeah, I didn’t mind. He started taking off his clothes and asked if I minded if his assistant Taylor helped.

OFM lust

I got nervous, and at the same time, the very thought of another person there turned me on more. I said I didn’t mind. He walked to the door and opened it, and his assistant walked right in. They both walked up to me, and he told his assistant to begin down by my legs, and he’d work on my neck. Taylor started to move his hands higher and higher like before, but this time, he went over my hole. My masseur leaned down while massaging my neck as I started to moan.

He whispered, “Do you want Taylor to keep going? Do you want him to go further?” In between moaning, I started to answer, and he placed his lips next to my ear and asked “Do you want ME to go further?” I let out a loud moan and said, “Hell yes I do!” Not a moment longer after saying that, Taylor slid his tongue into my ass, and he grabbed my hands and placed them around his waist and onto his ass. He reached under the table and grabbed something, leaning over me, and Taylor stopped rimming and stood up, ripping open what sounded like a wrapper.

My head was raised slowly, and he was holding his throbbing manhood and teasing my lips. I pulled him closer, and I moved my lip over his shaft and did a little massaging of my own. Taylor grabbed some lube and gently, slowly inserted what was pulsing between his legs. While I was doing my massaging, I was also moaning louder and louder with each thrust of his assistant. My sexy Masseur was now moaning louder and almost competing with me on volume.

We were now all connected, and we were all fully welcoming the free love of pleasure. When I couldn’t hold back any longer from releasing my inner seed, my masseur let out a loud “fuck!” Taylor started to tense up and grabbed a hold of my ass, saying “This ass is mine!” I rolled onto my back still feeling the orgasm. I definitely owe my friend a thank-you.

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