August 7, 2013 :: Assimilation Debate

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VOL. XXXVII ISSUE #9 August 7, 2013 t

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CONTENTS

COVER STORY: BETWEEN LIBERATION AND ASSIMILATION

18 SO LIV FO CUS CIAL ING 6 10 11 14 16 17

Letter From The Editor News LGBT Nation Panel Voices The Lesbian Socialite Bleed Like Me

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34 36 38 39 40 42

Food For Thought High Society Bar Tab Bar Map Bar Rag On The Scene

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51 Metropolitan 52 Beauty 54 Thrive 58 Back In The Day 60 Sexuality 61 HeinzeSight

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FROM THE EDITOR

Gurl, cultures got to evolve, Mary

As

I was making my way through an omelet on a Sunday morning not long ago, the conversation with my mother wondered through updates on family, movies, hobbies and Orange is the New Black, an original series produced by Netflix about a woman whose life is turned upside down after being sent to jail for a crime she committed years ago.

CONNECT WITH NIC

Reach Executive Editor Nic Garcia by email at nic@outfron tonline.com, or by phone at 303- 477-4000 ext. 702.

CONNECT WITH OUT FRONT

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To see how our culture is being shared you have I had binge–viewed the series about a month ago and was sharing how well done I thought it was – if to look no further than this year’s Cinema Q Film not for what I considered excessive (but well por- Fest at the SieFilm Center. Not only were there more movies than ever before, but the films were trayed) lesbian drama.

Then my mom asked the same question we’ve perhaps the deepest dive into the complex identibeen asking around Out Front for a very long time: ties of LGBT people I’ve seen on the silver screen.

Gone are the movies like Circuit that suggest does the gay community want to be the same as all gay men die at 30 and Go Fish that suggest everybody else, or do they want to be different?

My mother, bless her, added, because there cer- all lesbians are fueled by coffee, wine and potlucks in their search to make love more tainly are some who are very different.

She was no doubt alluding to my favorite drag complicated than it is. queens, leather daddies and go-go boys the media have historically given prime placement to on their front pages and newscasts following Pride.

Through the course of breakfast and then errands, I took my mother on a crash course of Gay History 101.

We started with the Mattachine Society – a lose network of early activists in search of privacy for gay men and women, mostly on the West Coast – through the liberation at Stonewall, to the retreat and later full push through the AIDS epidemic to today’s fight A scene from Who’s Afraid of Vagina Wolf. The film was a for marriage equality. part of the 5th Annual Cinema Q Film Fest.

At each milepost I attempted to explain how the intersecIn their place are films like Pit Stop that explore tion of our personal and political needs and those what happens when men break up and must carry of the greater society met to form gay culture.

I guess I could have told her to wait for Jeffery on, and Who’s Afraid of Vagina Wolf, a satire piece Steen’s cover story on Page 18 of this issue – but about a woman who must find love for herself.

To see how our culture is evolving you have to I couldn’t deny her quality mother–son bonding look no further than The GLBT Community Center time.

When this cover story was first discussed nearly of Colorado’s new resource group of LGBT parents. a year ago, and as we got closer to publishing it, I Colorado gay families are trailblazing mostly unwas convinced we would find to be true what so explored territory to learn and create new cultural many gay thinkers have proclaimed: gay culture is norms on how to be parents – our way. Not just for the next generation of gay men and women, but dead.

I’ve certainly been guilty of running my mouth for those up and down the Rocky Mountain region.

Am I still afraid there might come a day when uttering as much: The double whammy of greater acceptance in heteronormative culture and mobile expressions like “gurl,” and “Mary,” will go the way technology have crumbled the walls around the of “gee-golly” and “skipper” – yes.

But I’m more excited about the new possibilionce necessary self–segregated safe places the gay community built for itself. The same places where ties of a 21st Century LGBT Community that is that our culture was birthed and fostered for four reflective and a part of the times and not stuck in the Stone(wall) age. decades.

For culture to live, it must be shared. And, I reasoned, if it’s not being shared in these places, it will die.

But I’m happy to report gay culture is a live and well. Not only is it still being shared, and in new ways, but it’s also evolving, as all cultures must.

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SPEAKOUT

A father’s fear

By Jessie Ulibarri

d ‘‘ I didn’t fully grasp my father’s fear until I felt it as a parent myself.

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MY WHITE MOTHER AND LATINO FATHER taught Catholic Sunday school classes at our home parish as I was growing up and I had been terrified about how they would react when I came out. Yet when I did, through tears and many hugs they both affirmed their love that day.

But it was my father who affirmed his fear.

“The world can be so mean and violent,” he told me. “I know what it’s like to be a Mexican American in Colorado and it’s tough. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be gay and Hispanic.” His voice cracked as he said, “You already face an uphill battle because of me; what will happen to you now?”

His eyes revealed the true meaning of his words. I saw terror narrow his pupils and a protective love shine out of his irises. He recognized that with this revelation some in society would view me as having less value simply because of who I am, and my life may literally be at risk.

I didn’t fully grasp my father’s fear until I felt it as a parent myself. Our nation was shaken to its core by the not guilty verdict in the George Zimmerman murder trial. Zimmerman, an overzealous neighborhood watch volunteer, was found not guilty under Florida’s lax laws in the killing of an unarmed 17-year-old – Trayvon Martin.

While the troubling news unfolded, our family was celebrating my son’s birthday.

During his party my son asked me if he and his friends could go outside to play “Cops and Robbers.” My stomach lurched and cold fingers of fear grasped my throat when I imagined my dark son, dressed in a sweatshirt, running through the streets of our neighborhood. With a dry mouth and wet eyes, I angrily told him he could not go outside and play a simple childhood game.

I hope he knows I am not angry with him, but I’m infuriated with the world we’re raising him in. I’m angry with myself for limiting my son and denying him his youth because, like my dad, I’m petrified of what may happen to my son for simply being who he is.

This is so hard. This is so painful. It’s the same pain – whether we are losing Emmett Till and Trayvon Martin, both boys who went to the store for candy and came home dead, or Angie Zapata and Matthew Shepherd, who were both hatefully struck down here in our own backyards for simply being who they were.

But anger and fear won’t really fix anything.

Although the topic may be emotionally charged and difficult to begin, we must engage in courageous conversation, in our states and in our nation, about race, about ethnicity, about identity – lives are literally at stake. It’s high time that we as parents, friends, community members and neighbors work to build a nation where all of our kids can grow up without fear of death or bodily injury simply for being who they are.

State Sen. Jessie Ulibarri represents southwestern Adams County in the Colorado State Senate and is a leader in the NAACP Colorado Montana Wyoming State Conference.

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Major advance in LGBT health care yields more questions STATE POLICY IS CLEAR, BUT IMPLEMENTATION WILL TAKE TIME

Y DID YOU KNOW? Hormone treatment for trans people is already covered by Medicare and Medicaid. If you are experiencing trouble having either agency cover your prescription, contact either U.S. Sens. Mark Udall, 303-650-7830, or Michael Bennett, 303-455-7600.

Y HAVE A QUESTION OR NEED HELP FILING A COMPLAINT? Contact Ashley Wheeland at One Coloardo at 303-396-6170 or Courtney Gray at The Center at 303-951-5221.

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By Nic Garcia FACT NO. 1: LGBT COLORADANS CANNOT BE DENIED HEALTH CARE COVERAGE IF THEIR PROVIDER IS BASED IN COLORADO. FACT NO. 2: NO ONE IS EXACTLY SURE WHAT’S COVERED. What’s happened is this: On March 19 the Colorado Division of Insurance, the state’s insurance regulation arm, issued a bulletin stating discrimination in health coverage based on sexual orientation and transgender status is prohibited.

But as simple as the directive may be, what’s at odds is hundreds, if not thousands, of private health insurers’ specific policies that have been established for decades, gender–biased digital coding for medical treatment that routinely flags and denies insurance coverage, and the behemoth bureaucracy of Medicare and Medicaid.

And just as LGBT activists here are celebrating a major milestone, they’re asking the LGBT community to have patience as they expect more questions and confusion to surface while insurance companies and health providers work through uncharted territory on what is likely to be a case–by– case situation.

Take Robin Christian for example.

After transitioning eight years ago, Christian had to make the decision whether he would continue to identify as female to have his annual pelvic exam covered by insurance or change his gender marker to male to have his testosterone taken care of.

To complicate matters, before transitioning, Christian, who now lives in Aurora with his boyfriend Matt Gale, was diagnosed with endometriosis.

Cells from the lining of his uterus grew in other areas of the body. He suffered excruciating pain including irregular bleeding.

His doctor put him on narcotics for weeks and he had to quit working.

Eventually, he and his health care provider decided a hysterectomy was the best solution. But Christian’s insurance company initially flagged the request to pay for the surgery because a matrix established by his insurance company to track fraud determined it wasn’t medically necessary for a man to have a uterus removed.

Christian followed up with the company, and after he explained his trans status, the surgery was covered.

And while Christian said the company was “super reasonable and professional,” he hopes the new state directive will inspire insurance companies to incorporate mechanisms to tracks transgender people’s medical history to eliminate potentially uncomfortable conversations.

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“I had to do all of my own research,” he said. “It should be the other way around.”

Courtney Gray, transgender program coordinator at the GLBT Community Center of Colorado, said it’s going to take more people like Christian to make the health care system better.

“We need to challenge these policies directly,” she said during a town hall meeting discussing changes to the health care system in Colorado.

“That’s how it’s going to be changed.

There are no clear guidelines as to what’s being covered yet. The marketplace is going to change a lot.”

Gray said if a medical request is denied, patients should start with an appeal to their insurance company.

Once that process is finished, if a patient still believes they are being discriminated against they should file a complaint with the state’s civil rights division that regulates Colorado’s nondiscrimination laws.

For Gray and Ashley Wheeland, health policy director for the states’ largest LGBT advocacy organization One Colorado, the bulletin, coupled with the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, is going to open up more health care options – especially for trans Coloradans.

Admittedly, protection for trans people is not explicitly spelled out in the health care reform law. But Obamacare, Wheeland said, forbids discrimination on two principles that should directly protect trans people. The first bans discrimination based on health conditions, like gender identity disorder or dysphonia. The second bans discrimination based on protected classes including “sex.” Several government interpretations of “sex” include gender variance.

And as lawmakers, activists and lawyers are working on one front to make sense of the policies, another area of focus is the medical provider working directly with LGBT patients.

It will be those first conversations between doctors and patients on what is and is not medically necessary that could determine what insurance companies will pay for.

In Christian’s case, had his doctor not said the surgery was medically necessary, the insurance company most likely would never had considered it.

For trans people, these conversations and policies will be especially vital when discussing either top or bottom surgery with their providers.

Currently most insurance companies consider top and bottom surgery’s elective procedures. However, Gray points to a growing number of health officials who are speaking up saying some surgeries for trans people are medically necessary to improve their physical and mental health.

LGBT NATION

Marriage for samesex couples begins in Rhode Island and Minnesota Y AUG. 1 MARKED ANOTHER HISTORIC MILESTONE IN THE MARRIAGE EQUALITY MOVEMENT: both Minnesota and Rhode Island began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples there.

With the addition of Rhode Island, the nation’s smallest state, every state in New England region now recognizes same-sex marriage.

Together, the number of places gay and lesbian couples can now be legally married is more than one quarter of the states.

The Associated Press reported Minnesota officials believe about 5,000 same-sex couples would seek a marriage license in the first year. Minnesota’s legislature passed its marriage equality bill this spring after voters rejected a ban in the fall of 2012.

LGBT activists in Rhode Island had attempted to pass marriage legislation there for 16 years.

Televangelist Pat Robertson shows surprising support for trans people Christian Broadcasting Network chairman and founder, televangelist Pat Robertson, surprised many on July 28 with his response to a viewer who asked if he should recognize as female two coworkers who are apparently transgender.

“I don’t understand all that, but I think they are men who are in a woman’s body. It’s very rare, but it’s true,” responded Robertson.

“I don’t think there’s any sin associated with that. I don’t condemn anybody for doing that.”

Robertson more commonly sparks anger within the LGBT community for his frequent, anti– gay rhetoric.

Earlier in July, Robertson said he vomits at the sight of gay couples, and that gays and lesbians are just “confused” straight people.

Activists go after Russian vodka after widespread violence LGBT ACTIVISTS, LED BY SEATTLE–BASED ADVICE COLUMNIST AND CAMPAIGN FOUNDER DAN SAVAGE, have launched a boycott of Russian vodka in response to anti–gay legislation signed by Russian president Vladimir Putin, and increased violence against LGBT citizens in Russia.

On July 25, Stoli posted a message to its website and

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Facebook page saying they stand with the LGBT community and denounced the anti–gay legislation.

Since the boycott was first suggested, gay bars in Seattle, San Francisco, West Hollywood, Chicago, and in other cities across the country have been removing Russian vodkas from their offerings, posting signs that read, “Proudly serving non–Russian vodkas.”

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OUT IN COLORADO

Southwest Denver man hopes to keep pride alive at Capitol

By Nic Garcia When the Colorado General Assembly opened for business in January, the collective body of lawmakers broke set several historical precedents for diversity including having more openly gay and lesbian lawmakers than any other state body in the nation.

Jeremy VanHooser, a gay Democrat from Southwest Denver, hope to help keep that record in place by capturing an open seat in the state House when it becomes available in 2016.

VanHooser, 28, wants to represent state House District 1 that stretches west of Federal Boulevard through Sheridan and Wadsworth Boulevards and runs just south of Alameda Avenue through Quincy Avenue to nearly Bowles Avenue. ... I want to make the “I’ve always been involved in transition from other politics,” VanHooser said. “And people making decisions I want to make the transition for me to being a part of from other people making decisions for me to being a part of the decision process. the decision process.”

VanHooser grew up in the district where he attended ColJeremy VanHooser has announced his umbine High School and graduated in 2011 from candidacy for the state House. Photo courtesy VanHooser campaign the Metropolitan State University of Denver with

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a degree in human services.

VanHooser’s legislative goals include protecting and expanding civil rights, making higher education more affordable and assessable and building community between the government, nonprofits and the business community.

“I have to represent my district,” he said. “But I’m also making decisions that impact the entire state.”

The social media consultant said he thought the Colorado Civil Union Act that became law this spring was a good example of legislation that meets a direct need for a population in the state. In an interview with Out Front he also raised concern over some of the gun legislation that was introduced but either didn’t pass or were withdrew.

He said there needs to be “reasonable restriction,” to firearms.

VanHooser, who has served as captain of House District 1 for the Democratic Party, said he expects a primary challenger and is looking forward to working with the three different state senators who represent portions of his district.

Jeanne Labuda, a Democrat, was first elected to the seat in 2006 and is term limited.

Democrats outpace Republicans in the district nearly 2 to 1. Nearly one-third of registered voters in the district are unaffiliated.

OUT IN COLORADO

Founder of Colo.

Springs liberation front dies at 78 TRUMAN HARRIS, a co-founder of the Gay Liberation Front in Colorado Springs and forefather of the Colorado Springs Pride Center, died July 27. He was 78.

Harris, with Donaciano Martinez, organized the Front just a few months after the Stonewall riots in New York City. The group gave way in 1973 to an official nonprofit and what was Colorado’s first offi cial resource organization for the gay and lesbian community, Lambda Services.

According to Martinez, the Internal Revenue Service would only grant official nonprofit status to Lambda if Harris agreed to sign an agreement that forbid any representative of the organization from saying being gay was normal.

Harris refused.

Lambda fought the IRS and won in 1977.

Harris was as also a writer, lecturer, poet, playwright, actor, anarchist, atheist, freethinker, nudist, visual artist, and humorist, Martinez said.

“Truman was one of those individuals a person seldom comes across in one’s lifetime,” Martinez said. “He was multidimensional and extremely talented.

Above all, he was consistent and honest.”

A celebration of Harris’ life is at 8 p.m., Sunday, Aug. 11 at Poor Richards in Colorado Springs, 324 1/2 N. Tejon St.

Brad Clark and state Rep. B.J. Nikkel at last year’s Ally Awards.

One Colorado set to honor allies THE STATE’S LARGEST LGBT ADVOCACY ORGANIZATION will honor two allied organizations for their work in advancing equality. One Colorado will also pay special tribute to departing Gill Foundation Executive Director Tim Sweeney.

The two organizations to be recognized at the Ally Awards, Aug. 17 at the Cable Center, are Denver University’s Hockey Team and Colorado Medical Society. The garden party begins at 6:30 p.m.

The DU hockey team will be honored for becoming the first Colorado collegiate team to produce a video for the You Can Play Project, an organization promoting respect for all athletes.

“Their video set a powerful example for other collegiate hockey teams across the country, not to mention other sports teams at DU and Colorado College – many of whom have followed suit with supportive videos of their own,” said One Colorado’s Executive Director Brad Clark.

Meanwhile, the medical society has “worked tirelessly to improve access, seek out new funding, and create new opportunities to educate its membership on issues of LGBT health. Their support has been critical in ensuring that all LGBT Coloradans are able to get the health care they need,” Clark said.

Tribute will be made to Sweeney for his decades of work in the LGBT community, most recently at the Gill Foundation, where he began in 2007. Before coming to Colorado, Sweeney was most widely know as being one of the first responders to the AIDS epidemic.

Tickets are available at allyawards.org

Couple married in Mass. becomes first to test new civil union dissolution laws A Colorado lesbian couple, legally married in Massachusetts, has finalized a divorce in Colorado courts, signaling the state’s laws are prepared to navigate relationship recognition status of same-sex couples, the Associated Press reported. Colorado does not recognize same-sex marriage because of a 2006 amendment to the state’s Constitution. But the Colorado Civil Union Act, which became law this spring, now provides most of the legal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, including dissolution. While the Supreme Court struck down provisions of the Defense of Marriage Act clearing the way for the federal government to recognize most of the rights associated with marriage, divorce is a state issue.

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PANEL

Pieter Tolsma is program coordinator of Denver PIQUE, a program for gay/bi young men in Denver.

e

Iowa native George K. Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.

I see this issue through my non-expert lens and it appears that there are two perspectives—first, medical, and second, social.

Medically, we are making strides and sustaining lives. This is evident through the treatment regimen people are receiving to maintain their lives and be part of our society. I would be remiss if I did not mention that our health care system does not necessarily allow for everyone to have access to these medical strides.

Socially, we are still struggling to reduce stigmas and educate the public. It is abhorrent that we still have individuals who believe HIV and AIDS comes from only certain segments of the population. It is uncanny that we still have individuals who believe they cannot contract the virus through known factors.

Dividing the issue into two perspectives suggests we have a long road to travel. Both perspectives must work together in harmony and synergy. Our advocate organizations must team with the medical organizations to develop messaging that educates on prevention and access.

We can be the voice of reason.

When we hear conversations veering toward ignorance, we can choose to lead in educating. We have indeed come a long way medically and many people are living healthy lives for it, but we have a long way to go in opening people’s minds and hearts.

Keo Frazier is the fearless leader and founder of KEOS Marketing Group.

In the future, we must continue: To encourage all people who are sexually active to get tested for HIV/AIDS; To lobby drugs companies to make their anti-retroviral drugs more affordable and more accessible, and; To encourage HIV negative individuals to use condoms or, at a minimum, use preexposure prophylaxis (PreP) drugs if they engage in high-risk sex.

But the simple act of coming out as an HIV–positive person is the key. While browsing profiles on Adam4Adam.com last fall, I found this headless torso named Andrew.

I replied to him and he seemed interested in me. We exchanged a volley of instant messages and we talked on the phone. Two weeks later, I disclosed my HIV–positive status. He said, “Why didn’t you tell me up front? You are being totally dishonest. How can I trust you?”

As a result, he blocked me and I changed my online HIV status from “hidden” to “positive.”

At a recent HIV retreat at Shadowcliff in Grand Lake, I was able to meet fellow HIV–positive men and women. Because of their jobs and status, many of them are unable to be open about their HIV status.

It takes a brave soul to have the courage and fortitude to come out of the closet a second time.

Tom Rockman

We need fail proof preventive measures and a cure, of course.

The national HIV/AIDS strategy is four– pronged: reducing new infections, increasing access to care and improving health outcomes for people living with HIV, reducing HIV–related health disparities and achieving a more coordinated national response to the HIV epidemic in the US. All HIV/AIDS research organizations need to band together to share all their research and information. I believe that if every cancer researcher shared all of their research with every other cancer researcher, we would have a cure for all cancers by now. The same applies for HIV/AIDS. The Foundation for AIDS Research, amFar, recently posted about a Harvard Medical School physician who had success with two HIV–positive patients who underwent stem cell transplants in conjunction with reduced– intensity chemotherapy. The patients are currently showing no trace of the virus in their system.

We must continue to ensure that we practice safer sex. We must continue to educate the gay community on what is safe and what is not. Finally, we should contribute to the AIDS Walk, amFar, and other organizations for which you have a passion.

George K. Gramer, Jr.

Pieter Tolsma

I spend a great deal of time talking about HIV. I speak to groups of young gay men about sexual health and relationships as part of my job. While we have a rousing discussion about sex and all the variations and fun that can be had, the mention of HIV can land on the table with a bit of a thud. HIV infection rates are still very high in the community of men who have sex with men.

Young gay men are aware of it, but the harsh truth is that the mere mention of HIV tends to frighten – open discussion of the possibility of infection makes people uncomfortable.

The next step in the fight against HIV seems to me to still be the first step: Information. If the mere mention of HIV frightens, then it means that there is still misunderstanding and ignorance about the illness and its relation to you.

Personally, I know that in those moments when I was unsure of my status were I let fear cloud my judgment and affect my relationships with others.

When I get the chance to discuss HIV with the young men in my group the atmosphere, of the room goes through a change. The fear subsides a little and is replaced by strength. HIV doesn’t hold such visceral power over us if we talk about it and educate ourselves.

That is the only step, and we need to keep taking it together.

Keo Frazier

Q

What’s the next step in the fight against HIV/AIDS?

Tom Rockman Jr. is a card-carrying Yooper, former flyboy, queer journalist, DragNation fanatic, comedy/ horror/sci-fi addict, aspiring policy wiz and online provocateur.

Interested in becoming one of the voices on Out Front’s panel?

Contact the editorial department by email at editorial@outfrontonline.com or call 303-477-4000 ext. 702 to be considered.

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THE LESBIAN SOCIALITE

Voices from the past keep you present words that no one ever hears too me over and over: “stay focused, stay on topic.”

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DOING SOMEMy perspective completely shifts and I see my much.

THING AND HEAR SOMEONE’S VOICE “Never leave the house without words with my head more than my heart. It is an SHOWING YOU THE WAY? They’re your ID” comes courtesy of where incredible gift, to give to someone perspective. asking you the same question they In fact, that’s usually what those voices do: many of my lessons have come from always asked; often it’s one of your – my mother. To that I would add give you perspective. They are challenging you to parents, or anyone who’s ever taught $5 and a credit or debit card. These take a look at where you are and whether things you something. Those voices – the three items can save you more ag- are going as intended. sage advice – are the lessons you’ve I understand why older people give such sage gravation, embarrassment, time and learned, even if you don’t want to advice; they’ve been around longer so they have money than you could ever imagine. admit it.

The customer service goddess probably experienced what you are experiencRobyn Vie-Carpenter It’s been happening to me a at Bergdorf Goodman, a famous ing. I finally understand the saying “youth is lot lately. I will be challenged and puzzled over something when suddenly I hear New York department store says “never carry wasted on the young” – older people know all the things they’d do exactly what I need to hear to help me. They are your actual passport differently, and young the voices of many different people, young and when you’re walking A friend once asked me what I people don’t want to the city.” old. Some are random strangers in a bathroom. around take advice.

Often they come from completely unexpected Simply put, make was “doing instead of what I could You have a choice copies. In the U.S. we sources. be doing.” It felt so harsh at the – you can either listen A friend once asked me what I was “doing are not used to pickto what others have instead of what I could be doing.” It felt so harsh pockets, except in time but comes back to me when I’m to say and see how it at the time but comes back to me when I’m ab- cities like New York, abdicating responsibility to others applies to your life, dicating responsibility to others or daydreaming San Francisco or New or you can stomp far into the future instead of remaining present. Orleans. In other or daydreaming far into the future your foot, shake your cities I heard it a couple of weeks ago, loudly, on my international instead of remaining present. head and flatly refuse morning walk, motivating me to get moving on they’re an everyday to take advice from occurrence, and if some things I was getting ready to do.

Another friend taught me the power of saying your passport is stolen you have a lot of work to anyone other than your teddy. He’s been helping you all these years, so why change now? thank you. It can allow you to stay calm and do on vacation.

Lately when I sit down and read my old gather yourself. It can also be the bridge that repairs relationships. These are two powerful columns, I can hear editor Nic Garcia reminding r Follow Robyn on Twitter @The LesSocialite

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BLEED LIKE ME

If you are going through hell

Scott McGlothlen r Email Scott at scott@outfront online.com

I am not an extraordinary person. If I could make it out of these emotional storms, then anyone can.

So when people ask me advice on how to make it through this hellish experience, I think of Churchill’s words and tell them to just keep going.

BEING DIAGNOSED WITH HIV IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER GONE THROUGH – I OFTEN DESCRIBE THE EXPERIENCE AS “OBLITERATING.” THE MOMENT I HEARD THE CONFIRMATION I SHATTERED LIKE A PIECE OF GLASS, AND IT DIDN’T SEEM LIKE THERE WOULD BE ENOUGH SUPER GLUE IN THE WORLD TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE. Sulking in the catastrophe that was my new life, at some point I happened to remember an inspirational quote form Winston Churchill that a former boyfriend had hung on his refrigerator, but I’d never given much thought to: “If you are going through hell, keep going.”

Indeed I was going through hell. And with each day hurting so badly, it really did seem impossible to keep going through it. Reality seemed totally distorted and I couldn’t figure out how to finagle it every day. More than anything, I wanted life to go back to normal – it didn’t even matter what normal looked like as long as it didn’t involve HIV. Every day I woke up in what seemed like a bad dream.

Being told you have HIV is so much more than receiving tough medical information – it’s a full–on traumatic experience. Many diseases can cause shock and fear but the stigma HIV carries is like salt on the wound. Not only does a person fear death but also the perceptions of the world, crushing the desire to find the much–needed inner strength.

The experience reminded me of the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Some days I felt like the whole thing was an impossible mistake that the doctors would soon figure out. Other days I would try to make deals with God to somehow change the results (I would devote my life to serving others if he did). Then at times I would be just plain furious at how f*cked up life turned out.

The depression was almost debilitating. But as a therapist suggested, the anger and depression would help me tap into some very necessary emotions to move on to acceptance. I was trapped in an emotional fog and each day I had to push through it in order to keep moving forward. One day at a time, things slowly got easier.

Acceptance didn’t mean suddenly (or eventually) I would be fine; instead it was more like a transformation – a realization that I couldn’t change the fact that I was HIV positive. My brain finally switched gears and I began to cope with it instead of wishing it away, and then, with each new day, I achieved a “built–in” sense of gratitude for life.

This process was painstakingly slow. The changes seemed so subtle that it often felt like nothing was happening at all. It was not easy to distinguish a clear sense of reality when so much of it is based on fears.

And in the larger scheme of things, something remarkable happened. My life never did return back to the “normal” that I so badly craved, but did eventually reach a new kind of normal. Even though HIV is no longer a death sentence, I still felt like a survivor for conquering the emotional conquest it took to overcome this disease.

I am not an extraordinary person. If I could make it out of these emotional storms, then anyone can. So when people ask me advice on how to make it through this hellish experience, I think of Churchill’s words and tell them to just keep going.

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COVER STORY

BETWEEN LIBERATION AND ASSIMILATON Can the LGBT community achieve both equality and cultural identity?

By Jeffery Steen

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n the morning of June 28, 1969, there had been hints of what the day would come to represent, rightly or wrongly, as the birth of the modern LGBT movement. For New York City gays and lesbians, the city was at a crossroads – on one hand she was inspired by the inclusive, progressive movements of the ’60s; on the other, lesbians and gays were increasingly frustrated by a slow–to–change repressive orthodoxy and faced police raids of bars where they congregated. The tension mounted, exploding in a little gay bar known as the Stonewall Inn. COVER STORY

A 26-year-old New York City insurance salesman and Stonewall patron Michael Fader remembered that night’s famous riots in David Carter’s book Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked the Gay Revolution with a quote that has since been repeatedly re–shared depicting the events: “It was time to reclaim something that had always been taken from us … All kinds of people, all different reasons, but mostly it was total outrage, anger, sorrow, everything combined, and everything just kind of ran its course.”

That course ended in a powerful era of self–discovery: the launch of

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the Gay Liberation Movement, which adopted a more clear celebration of difference and a more open and confrontational response to oppression and discrimination than had ever risen to the forefront for most LGBT Americans. Before Stonewall, one of the most prominent national gay rights groups, the Mattachine Society, had been critiqued as increasingly assimilationist compared to the vision its founders had held.

Afterward, it became clear that LGBT people could organize systems of support to shore up defenses and envision a better life for themselves regardless of whether mainstream

America “accepted” them as peers – social clubs, educational gatherings, safe havens, and political meetings designed to overturn laws that criminalized their daily lives. A wider cross-section of the LGBT population turned toward each other than ever before to define the growing sense of community.

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lot has happened since 1969 – both to the LGBT community’s betterment and our detriment. But while the Stonewall incident marked the incendiary beginnings of a new age for LGBT individuals in New York, its impact also rippled across the country.

Questions erupted that left the community wondering where it belonged: Should we remain distinctly defined, sacrificing none of our rituals and traditions for the sake of “belonging” to society as a whole? And what should that distinct community, perfectly envisioned, look like? Or, should we, as some wondered, strive to be assimilated into the mainstream culture – fully part of greater society and equal?

In the din of this questioning, Stonewall precipitated an emotional reaction that affected all 50 states, including Colorado.

The past four decades have been a mark of both community cohesion and, to a degree, relationship–building with greater society. And while relationship is not assimilation, it can, and has been, a stepping–stone. Still, when veteran engineer John Ferguson first came to Colorado in 1979, there wasn’t much to of that yet.

“The social circles I moved in did not have many straight folks – we just didn’t interact,” Ferguson said. “Those who were straight were congratulated on their attitude, sometimes heckled as being ‘probably gay’ themselves.

We didn’t think to socialize in straight venues. We’d always look for a gay bar, a restaurant frequented by the community, or a gay hotel.”

Ferguson paints a rather dismal picture for a time 10 years removed from Stonewall – an LGBT community in Colorado with a divided identity.

“I was 37 years old when I landed here – married with two kids. Four years later I was out of the closet and beginning to scope out the scene.

Most of it was in the bars, and was highly fractionalized. Sure, there were cowboys, leather guys, drag queens, lesbians, butch lesbians, religious gays, queers, those who were semi-closeted – but they denigrated each other.”

More than a decade after Stonewall, another turning point would eventually come after the AIDS epidemic hit with full vigor. Pastor Kevin Maly – then a student the University of Denver – recalls a community that was initially broken by coping mechanisms that undid the bonds they had spent years

building. Not only were gay men suffering from illnesses within, but perceived as broken and diseased from the outside.

“We were, in a word, unhealthy,” he said. “There was lots of drug use, lots of alcohol, lots of gratuitous sex.

It was self-medication – both to deal with being outcasts, and with the AIDS crisis that was all around us.”

It was that outward perception of self-destructiveness that wounded the community’s opportunity to find common ground with society – to reach out for help and support while AIDS was claiming the lives of gay men across the nation by the hundreds of thousands. On the other extreme, it sparked a new level of self–criticism for what some LGBT people saw as vices in their own community that led to what gay theorist Don Kilhefner once described with a melancholic resignation: “Gay men are accepted by hetero culture to the extent that they look, behave, and think just like straight men, in the process becoming dispirited people,” he said.

“I think in the ’80s, there was so much ignorance around HIV – known as ‘the gay cancer’ – that it made societal stereotypes and assumptions easy,” Maly said. “The very fact that a person was gay meant that they somehow carried or were going to get AIDS. There was not only the stigma of being gay, but automatically you had the stigma of AIDS.” Add to this new and growing stereotypes of LGBT individuals – particularly gay men – as hedonistic and unhealthy, and heterosexual society was keen on keeping its distance. We were distinctly and unquietly dubbed, once again, “the other.”

Still, Maly said, the epidemic gave us something to rally around – a purpose that no one in the community would question. “I think there was a more visible semblance of a community in the ’80s. For instance, you could get together a much bigger crowd for the AIDS Walk then than you can now.”

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hristi Layne, living in the same troubled era but coming from a different corner of the community, saw examples of both acceptance and rejection. Known earlier in her life as Christopher Sloan – a husband and adopted son back in Stockton, California – he was forced to come out to his wife, throwing his life into a violent tailspin. Reaching for what he loved – the ballet – he landed in Salt Lake City with a dancing troupe.

Doing drag queen shows on the side to make money, he eventually became part of a touring drag queen group that came to Denver. Over the years, he became known as Christi – the endearing, passionate energetic drag queen who not only wore the crown as an Imperial Court Empress, but drew

attention to the community and to the rights we had so long lived without.

Layne found ready acceptance early on in Denver. “At the time, drag queens and drag queen culture were being assimilated quite quickly,” she said. “We were invited to gay and straight to-dos – even highly–visible political events. It was kind of the end of the ’60s transitioning into the reality of the ’80s.”

Perhaps it was the theatrical element – and the distance the drama provided – that made drag queen shows acceptable in the ’70s, but that acceptance seemed to waver when Layne worked to secure Denver’s first Pride march permit in 1976.

“We were promised the first permit without any trouble,” she recounts.

“When our permit had not arrived by Gay Pride Week, we called to find out why. When we gave them information to track the permit, the Denver Manager of Safety’s office discovered that we were a gay organization. They then refused to give us permission to march. We still planned to march, of course, though no one at the municipal level would work to help us. We even called the news networks and got them to tape the event. It was nerve-wracking, waiting with bated breath for permission to move ahead with Pride.”

When the city didn’t succumb to the community’s pressure, Layne petitioned then Democratic Gov. Richard Lamm’s office, where she finally got the OK to move forward.

“He said he would have the permit delivered and have police assistance ready,” Layne said with tears in her eyes. The permit was hand–delivered from his office as promised, with pictures in the Rocky Mountain News on the Monday after the march documenting the event. The headline read, “With permit in hand.”

It was a monumental victory for the community, and one Layne remembers with great fondness. As a leader who dared to reach out, Lamm led the way to greater acceptance, she affirms – even into the dark days of the AIDS epidemic.

For Layne, however, HIV wasn’t the stumbling block for the community that many claim. While it caught us unawares, it also unwittingly opened the door to new medical understanding and questioning, which extended out into the community and encouraged education instead of condemnation.

“What we’ve learned with HIV is that when we go to a doctor, they ask us about as individuals – about our lives, our relationships, our finances, our socioeconomic status. Then they ask about family health. They check in with us emotionally and ask about our state of mind. What HIV gave us as a blessing was assimilation into society – a way for society to understand what our health issues were and are.”

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COVER STORY

CULTURE THROUGH THE DECADES – 1950s – The most prominent gay organization through the 1950s was the Mattachine Society.

Founded by Harry Hay, the society was closley linked to the Communist Party and largely fought for the privacy of gay men and women. The soceity had four primary goals: 1. Unify homosexuals isolated from their own kind.

2. Educate homosexuals and heterosexuals toward an ethical homosexual culture paralleling the cultures of the Negro, Mexican and Jewish peoples.

3. Lead the more socially conscious homosexual to provide leadership to the whole mass of social variants.

4. Assist gays who are victimized daily as a result of oppression.

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CULTURE THROUGH THE DECADES – ’60s and ’70s – What is often remembered as the birth of the modern gay culture began at the Stonewall Inn in 1969. Fed up with police brutality and finding commonality with the Woodstock movement, women’s liberation movement and other fronts, the gay and lesbian community came out publically for the first time. Communities began to blossom across the nation, including in Denver where the Gay Coalition led a successful sit-in at City Council to have four anti-gay laws revoked.

Just as free love, drugs and disco played an intergral part in mainstream culture through the decade, so to did it in gay culture.

That understanding turned the “gay cancer” from a point of difference to a point of commonality. It was a way of recognizing vulnerability that was and is shared by society as a whole – while showing LGBT individuals to be complete persons with complex and dynamic character.

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n the other hand, that education and questioning doesn’t always extend beyond the boundaries of Colorado’s most liberal cities, Denver and Boulder. As Broomfield City Council Member Bob Gaiser attests, the same kinds of violent prejudice that came to the fore with the Matthew Shepard attack – and are echoes of Stonewall – still exist today.

“Two years ago, an event happened in the county that gave me some perspective.

There was a young Asian man who came to Broomfield to meet his young boyfriend in the detention center. While waiting for him to be released, he and his friend went to a nearby bar. His friend ended up leaving, and the Asian man got into a bit of an altercation with someone. There were gay slurs tossed around. Bottles were thrown. Whoever was picking the fight pulled out a knife and sliced the chest of this young gay man. He crawled across the street and died. This was very similar to what happened to me when I left a bar in the ’80s. My arm was broken, and I passed out from the pain. The Broomfield incident brought back painful memories of that. And I couldn’t report my incident because I wasn’t out.”

Gaiser’s point is strikingly clear: Prejudice still exists in ways and volumes exceeding what is experienced in core urban centers where most LGBT people live. Much of it stems from religion and tradition, Gaiser said, to which he testifies as a once-was ordained minister of the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church.

“The church I grew up in was not accepting – and still does not accept us,” Gaiser said. He calls on the cut–and–dry theologies embraced in his former religious commu-

centers is twofold: a lack of gay community in any visible form, and a limited vocabulary. Not only do LGBT individuals process their lives without friends and peers to talk to about their sexuality, but they don’t even have the words to describe who they think they might be. In words that echo the spirit of the post–Stonewall movement, Kilhefner, the gay theorist, has long affirmed with conviction that “gay people must begin a radical new process of self–discovery that starts with what is inside of us.” But that does not happen without community and a shared culture.

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hich might be where Lea Ann Purvis comes in.

With a résumé stretching from early political lobbying to the leadership with The GLTB Community Center of Colorado and One Colorado, the state’s largest LGBT advocacy organization, she has been poised to give the statewide community a voice – to reach out to society as a whole and build healthy relationships.

Part of that process, however, is letting go of the need to assimilate. For Purvis, assimilation was never what we wanted.

“When you assimilate, it’s on the terms of the dominant culture,” she explains. “We have too much to be proud of to assimilate. Rather, we need affirmation among ourselves, and it needs to be genuine. I don’t want to emulate the heterosexual culture.”

“I’m not sure you can erase – or want to erase – the central aspect of gay sexuality, which is what you need for true assimilation,” Maly echoes. “There are so many, many ways of being gay. Assimilationists might look at us as if we should look like everyone else, but we’re not. And we’re still learning what being gay means.”

On an activist level, Purvis is keen on finding more, well, community in our community. The work to grow and mature starts with us, she said, and erasing the divisions that have marked us for so long.

“Is it that improbable to have a community that is inclusive in itself? That we can say we have dikes on bikes and transvestites and bears? I think by demonstrating and accepting, and not being homogenized, is how we move forward. We lead by example – by being accepting among ourselves. We are not so rich in resources we can exclude members of our own community. We need each other.”

I’m not sure you can erase – or want to erase – the central aspect of gay sexuality, which is what you need for true assimilation.

Lea Ann Purvis nities as signs of black–and–white worldviews. As changes are made in and through the LGBT community in Colorado, however, Gaiser is still troubled by lags in rural parts of the state. “I think there’s a real urban conflict,” he admits. “There are a lot of gay people in suburban and rural Colorado, and these populations are 10-15 years behind the urban populations.”

Emily Kazyak, a professor of sociology at the University of Nebraska–Lincoln, published a 2011 study of rural communities, and found that what sets these LGBT individuals apart from those in urban 20

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COVER STORY

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o the community’s credit, recent years have seen the growth in the community’s commitment to political, economic, and legal progress.

The shift in support that Purvis has seen since her early days in Denver is truly something to be proud of: “Before One

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CULTURE THROUGH THE DECADES – 1990s – At New York City Pride in June 1990, a group of activists distributed an anonymously–written pamphlet demanding radical activism and railing against gaining rights through resembling mainstream culture. In addition to condemning assimilation, it was an early act of redefining the word “queer,” a common insult for effeminate gay men, as an affirmation of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and straight people breaking “the rules” of gender and seeking a unified and non– categorized identity.

CULTURE THROUGH THE DECADES – ’90s and ’00s – Well–known celebrities who already gained footing in mainstream audiences came out in the late ’90s and 2000s and helped change the image of LGBT people in society.

In 1997, TV comedian Ellen DeGeneres came out as lesbian, a year before the sitcom Will & Grace was on the air until 2006. She was followed

by Rosie O’Donnel in 2002, Neil Patrick Harris in 2006, Wanda Sykes in 2008, Ricky Martin in 2010, and Frank Ocean in 2012. Chaz Bono, who identified publicly as lesbian in 1995 and as a trans man since 2009, said, “I absolutely believe in assimilation. I don’t believe I’m any different from straight people. My wants and needs are the same as theirs. I don’t look at sexual orientation as that big of a deal. It’s just an orientation.”

Colorado existed,” she said, “the most that was ever in the budget for legal support of equal rights was $64,000. That’s nothing.”

Today, fundraising and legal/financial support has many faces: The Center, for which Purvis assisted in the hiring of CEO Carlos Martinez; One Colorado, now headed by former One Iowa Executive Director Brad Clark; The Gay and Lesbian Fund and The Gill Foundation, both founded by Tim Gill; The Gay-Straight Alliance; and countless other organizations and groups dedicated to supporting, growing, and educating the LGBT community – and society as a whole – in Colorado.

And while conversations within the community and with society can indeed be beneficial, action must follow.

“One Colorado community forums are a good start to help us understand ourselves,” Purvis said. “I could even envision house parties and community get–togethers for this kind of dialogue – salon–style conversations about what our community is and what it needs. Things come to light in these settings. Then you take it to bigger settings and you make change. That’s how things happen. It comes from the people.”

And in 2013, the community’s most passionate and most difficult struggle as a people is the fight for marriage equality.

Maly said it well: “We are a community that is enjoying more committed longterm relationships, and we’re more used to sharing homes and family in those relationships.” But marriage isn’t just a steady relationship, he said.

“In some ways, marriage equality is a legal instrument designed to protect individuals and enforce one’s responsibility to one’s spouse. Of course, there are other cultural implications and meanings. But I would say that one of the things we need to be ready for is greater society coming back at us with criticism, pointing out how gay people have problems settling down and creating stable relationships. We have to respond with acknowledgement not only of our own brokenness

and struggle, but that we’re no different than heterosexuals in our marital struggles.

The divorce rate among heterosexuals is about 50-percent. That’s not an example we want to follow.”

There are manifold issues beyond marriage equality within and without that have yet to be dealt with – trans health care, employment discrimination, housing and socio-economic justice. And yet, we can celebrate some victories: We have legalized civil unions in Colorado; we have seen the birth of service agencies designed to educate and heal; and we toast a legislature where openly gay individuals like Colorado Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino and state Sen. Pat Steadman can work not only for our benefit, but for society as a whole. The question is where we’re going. Should we press for an assimilation that threatens to strip us of our uniqueness but ensures equality under the law? Or do we affirm ourselves and our sexuality, demanding that being separate but equal is neither American nor humane, but that differences are what equality is about?

Whatever road the community trod in the 21st century, may we never find ourselves again in the haze of Stonewall – beaten, broken, and trampled. May LGBT people be one, true community, and let go of the divisiveness that has branded us from within.

“We all have gifts to give,” Pastor Maly said.

And as theorist Kilhefner encourages,

CULTURE THROUGH THE DECADES – TODAY – Since Massachusetts became the first state with marriage equality in May 2004, same-sex marriage has been a central rallying cry for the LGBT community which has now won marriage equality in 13 states. The issue has pitted pro–same-sex marriage “liberals” and opposing “conservatives” against each other, but some LGBT people along with many gay and straight Republicans note that striving for a nuclear family is a conservative goal compared to the focus on sexual freedom in the ’70s.

We must learn to honor, not hide, our being different; and affirm and celebrate our gayness in orginal and playful ways.

Don Kilhefner “We must learn to honor, not hide, our being different; affirm and celebrate our gayness in original and playful ways; acknowledge a rich hidden heritage both within and outside of us; and find new models to explain the body of information and intuitive knowledge we have been carrying for a long time but that had no way to get out.”

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COVER STORY

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AIDS WALK SPECIAL SECTION

HIV ACROSS COLORADO COMMUNITIES ‘A political disease,’ the challenge is beyond gay or straight

By Matthew Pizzuti

Until 2010, the United States was one of roughly a dozen countries in the world that barred entry of people with HIV – requiring an HIV test to become a legal U.S. resident and blocking HIV-positive people from obtaining tourist visas. Enacted in 1987 with the claimed intent of preventing HIV from spreading into the country, the travel ban had already failed its objective even then.

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COVER IDS WALK STORY

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HIV activists hailed President Barack Obama’s decision to end the policy as closing an embarrassing chapter in the country’s relationship with the epidemic. The change also brought the story of HIV and AIDS in America a step closer to a global picture that looks very different from the way it has unfolded in the U.S. Jenna Treiber, a case manager for HIV-positive clients of the Northern Colorado AIDS Project’s center in Greeley, works directly with a group of foreign–born and refugee clients, many from countries with soaring HIV rates and all of whom have HIV themselves.

“Travel into the U.S. occurred previously in a small way for HIVpositive refugee folks, but it was very hard before the travel ban ended,” she said. “It’s a community that not many people see if they don’t want to.”

Treiber said most refugees she’s worked with knew their HIV status before they arrived in the country.

“Folks go through full medical screenings before they come so that they can get care when they get here – because of the concerns living in such an enclosed area, as many refugee camps are. Going through a refugee camp is a huge process – people live in a camp for seven years on average.”

Many refugees have been through profoundly traumatic experiences, and “a lot of times there are mental health concerns. It can be really hard to access care for them because mental health is not culturally important to some,” Treiber said. “For others it’s difficult to access any health services with a language barrier.”

A person who’s been granted refugee status receives Medicaid coverage for nine months after arrival in the U.S., and beginning in January 2014 refugees may be able to stay on the program longer because of changes in the Affordable Care Act qualifying more people for Medicaid based on income, Treiber said.

But Treiber said the biggest step would be for people to change the way they think about HIV. “Personally, I believe reduction of stigma is the main way to make HIV easier to talk about,” she said.

That has been a focus for case managers and leaders throughout the Colorado AIDS Project’s four service regions – Denver, Northern Colorado, Southern Colorado and Western Colorado – as it has been for the people paying closest attention to HIV and AIDS throughout the nation and world. When Obama lifted the travel ban, he said, “Now, we talk about reducing the stigma

of this disease, yet we’ve treated a visitor living with it as a threat.”

The resonating argument from HIV service workers is that stigma and fear not only affects the lives of people who are already HIV positive, but inhibits the courage for those who don’t know their status to get tested, and for HIV-negative people to think and talk about HIV in efforts to stop its spread. In the U.S., the conversation can stir up homophobia as well as judgments about sexual promiscuity or drug use that compound fear of thinking about one’s own chance of HIV infection.

Statistics about HIV are often organized by route of transmission – in the U.S. they’re commonly divided between men having sex with men (MSM), intravenous drug use and heterosexual sex. But more recently there has been increased use of race, geography, poverty and other social factors in measuring infection rates and targeting services. Government funding for CAP and other HIV/AIDS service organizations is usually earmarked for specific populations deemed as having moderate or high risk, which further determines what types of programs are created.

Richard Blair, regional director of the Southern Colorado AIDS Project headquartered in Colorado Springs, said MSM continue to be the “prioritized” high-risk group in his region, but identified other focal communities to build programs around, including young MSM of color, women, intravenous drug users, and the HIV-positive community to teach them how to prevent transmission to others.

The black community, and particularly black women, have been identified for moderately–elevated risk, and Blair said S–CAP has been partnering with the local NAACP to gather insights and promote testing.

“We’ve been doing testing in beauty parlors,” he said.

Southern Colorado has a large Latino population, where there is also an increase in new HIV infections, Blair said. “There are differences in culture with how Hispanic men deal with HIV, and with undocumented immigrants the challenges are great, because they don’t have the paperwork that allows them to receive health care in our country.”

Spanish–speaking S–CAP case manager Lupe Joyner works with Hispanic and undocumented clients, from not only Mexico, she said, but also South America, and other clients from Jamaica, South Asia and elsewhere.

“All my clients were already in the U.S. when they were diagnosed,” Joyner said. “If you have health in-

surance, it’s costly but relatively easy to get into at least HIV care, and uninsured people can get care through state or federal programs, but they’re not included in the Affordable Care Act and we’re not sure how they’ll be affected by changes coming up.”

For some of those patients, she said, having HIV is part of their fear of returning to their native countries – fearing both stigma and lack of care. “If you ask the Mexican government, they’re going to say ‘yes we have medication for everyone,’ but it’s not what happens.” They may be on medication sometimes but won’t be able to get it consistently – “adherence is a problem,” she said.

It’s complicated, Joyner said, “because HIV is a political disease.”

A BIGGER PICTURE OF HIV/AIDS Since the beginning of the AIDS crisis, activists and medical workers have known it isn’t just “a gay disease.”

Before either HIV or AIDS was named, the symptoms of the immune disorder initially documented in gay men in 1981 were also observed in users of intravenous drugs, recipients of blood transfusions, infants and Hatians. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control confirmed in 1982 that all those incidences were cases of the same syndrome and formally named it AIDS, and researchers learned in 1983 that it was also affecting large numbers of heterosexual women and men in Africa.

But by the time that picture became crystal clear, it was too late to raise AIDS awareness among all at–risk populations to the same level that gay men were already following the epidemic – which might have prevented the crisis from impacting those communities with the horrific force that the gay community was experiencing.

For some, it was far worse: the CDC has estimated that by 1985, 70 percent of Americans with hemophilia – about 10,000 people – were already HIV positive through blood product transfusions. At the same time, between 50 and 60 percent of intravenous drug users in New York City had been infected. Later that decade, Ryan White, an Indiana teenager with hemophilia who fought with his parents through a high–profile legal battle against a public school district that banned him because he was HIV positive, offered the general public a new face of HIV, and prevention advocates a chance to disrupt the narrative of HIV as an issue specific to the gay community.

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IDS WALK COVER STORY

AIDS WALK COLORADO

If you go Saturday, Aug. 10.

Registration opens at 7:30 a.m. The run begins at 9:30 a.m. with the walk beginning after the last runner leaves the starting line.

The walk steps off at the north end of Cheesman Park between Eighth and 13th Avenues and between Race and Humboldt Streets.

The main stage is located near the 12th Avenue and Humboldt Street entrance.

The walk and 5K run follow the same route through Capitol Hill.

The walk is free to participate. The 5K run has a $30 registration charge.

To register go to AIDSWalkColorado.org OTHER EVENTS AT AIDS WALK 10 a.m. – Volleyball Tournament 11:30 a.m. – Diva Dash Stiletto Fun Run

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Awareness campaigns, prevention counseling, improved understanding of risk behaviors and eventually medical management of HIV cases has slowed the occurrence of new infections in the U.S. – from around 130,000 in 1984 to 47,500 in 2010, according to CDC statistics. Many of the first leaders and activists calling for attention to HIV/AIDS were themselves gay men, and it appears that gay men were one of the first groups to benefit: new infections attributed to sex between men dropped dramatically between the late ’80s and early ’90s, even while transmission through intravenous drug use and heterosexual sex were respectively holding steady and rising.

From the late 1980s through the early 2000s, intravenous drug use and heterosexual sex together accounted for the majority of new infections in the U.S., and MSM constituted less than one third of new infections from 1988 to 1990.

Those numbers would eventually flip again, and since 2002 sex between men (but not necessarily openly gay men) has been once again the dominant route of HIV transmission in the U.S. A 2012 CDC Surveillance Report revealed that in 2010 heterosexual sex was responsible for 25 percent of new infections, the vast majority being of women, while 8 percent of new infections occurred through intravenous drug use. The link in the public consciousness between HIV/AIDS and gay men has continued to be a stumbling block for HIV prevention and the LGBT community alike.

“A lot of people, even including those in the gay community, still see HIV as a gay disease, which ads stigma both ways – to HIVpositive people and gay people,” said Andrew Hickok, Prevention Manager at the Denver Colorado AIDS Project.

It poses a challenge in discovering and treating HIV infec-

tions – not only through the sense of stigma around HIV-positive status but also toward seeking an HIV test by identifying oneself as being in a high-risk group or having engaged in risky behavior.

“Knowing your status, and being proud of knowing your status, regardless of what that status is, is an important thing,” Hickok said. “It’s hard enough to come in and say ‘I want an HIV test’ in the first place, so whatever we can do to make it comfortable helps.”

NEEDLE EXCHANGE Through its needle exchange program called Access Point, the DCAP reaches out to intravenous drug users in the Denver area offering them HIV testing, risk reduction counseling, disposal of used needles and, only permitted recently, access to sterile needles and other equipment used to inject drugs.

Needle exchange services were illegal in the state of Colorado until the law changed in 2010, but strongly advocated by organizations that work with HIV. “We know the drug use is going to happen regardless of clean or dirty needles, so we want them to do it in the safest way,” Hickok said. “It’s about meeting them where they are and doing it in the healthiest way. A lot of our clients hide – there’s clearly a lot of stigma from the general population, as well as self–stigma – people who think they’re just horrible bad people because they’re using. It’s a huge step to come in and say ‘I’m using and I continue to, but I need to do it in the safest way.’”

Hickok said that Access Point offers referrals to addiction services if a client brings up an interest in stopping her or his drug use, “but we’re never going to be the ones to mention

it first, because that’s going to turn people away. They know it’s a risk and an addiction they’re dealing with. But there aren’t many places they can get clean needles without being judged.”

Awareness of needle exchange programs like Access Point reaches intravenous drug users mostly by word–of–mouth, Hickok said, which makes the atmosphere of non–judgment and privacy especially important in getting people to use the resource. There isn’t the same kind of visible community of intravenous drug users as there is for prevention workers to use to reach gay men – there are no bars, venues or festivals for intravenous drug users, and it’s much more difficult to find spokespeople among those using intravenous drugs.

But there are some. “One of the things we rely on for our Access Point Program is a really great community advisory board,” Hickok said. The board, consisting of current users, former users, family and personal friends of users and nonusers with a strong interest in supporting the needle exchange programs, keeps the organization in touch with what is happening on the streets.

“They know the places in the city where users hang out, and can spread the word or hand out fliers to let them know about Access Point,” Hickok said.

But Hickok would like to be able to reach out through more than just fliers. The Colorado law that made needle exchange programs safe from prosecution – introduced by state Sen. Pat Steadman – was hailed by supporters as a major positive step in the effort to stop new HIV infections, but Hickok would like DCAP to provide services to people where they are.

“The next thing we’re trying to champion is mobile syringe access for people who don’t have

the confidence to come through our doors,” Hickok said. While mobile access is technically not illegal, local and state laws place restrictions that make it unfeasible, he said.

“For example, we have to be 1,000 feet from a school or childcare center, and that’s everywhere. When it comes to childcare centers, we don’t even necessarily know where those are,” he said. Many childcare centers are unmarked, in a small business or home, so even working areas that seem to be approved for distributing clean needles could turn out to be violating the law.

The substances intravenous drug users are injecting are well– known – meth, heroin, speed, sometimes cocaine – but one population that could benefit from access to clean syringes use them for something unrelated to drug use at all: hormones.

“Another population served by needle exchange programs in some parts of the country is transgender people wanting to inject hormones,” Hickok said.

In a demographic group that has disproportionately high rates of poverty and disproportionately low access to appropriate health care services, trans people in some major metropolitan areas turn to the streets to find testosterone or estrogen, silicone, and syringes, making their best efforts to transition on their own.

It’s a population Hickok hasn’t noticed taking advantage of Access Point, and the extent to which it’s happening in Denver is unknown, but Hickok said Access Point would be competent to offer risk–reduction information and needles to someone who might be injecting unprescribed hormones, steroids, or any substance whether it’s a drug or not.

“If a trans person came in, right away they’d be able to help,” he said.

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What does the money raised at AIDS Walk pay for?

Prevention, food, and services

AIDS Walk Colorado is the largest HIV/AIDS fundraising event in the Rocky Mountains. It raises more funds and awareness than any other event statewide. Funds raised through AIDS Walk supports services that are under funded. Federal funding does not provide support for prevention, food banks or other resources like Denver–Colorado AIDS Project’s employment center. DCAP offers Internet usage to clients to conduct job searches, resume preparation assistance and job interview coaching.

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Northern Colorado AIDS Project’s case manager and prevention specialist Jenna Treiber, left, prevention and fortitutde program coordinator David Prouty, and intern Jay Ogan at NCAP’s Greeley office.

Photo by Nikki Kushner

MENTAL HEALTH CONNECTION Working with populations with HIV or high risk for HIV touches layered social factors – poverty, drug use, sexual orientation, race, gender, gender identity, location – each representing measurable statistical factors in an individual or group’s chance of being exposed to HIV. Part of the reason so many factors play a role is that so many of them overlap, especially poverty, drug use and mental illness.

“In general, individuals with mental illness are at a risk for a lot of factors – it’s often combined with homelessness and substance abuse,” said Jeff Tucker, Director of Human Resources at the Mental Health Center of Denver, a partner organization with CAP. “There are a substantial number of people with mental illness who have engaged in prostitution just to support themselves – both men and women – and many have been victims of sexual assault.”

Not only does mental illness increase risk factors for exposure to HIV, the stress associated with being HIV positive can itself increase depression and anxiety – especially among women and elders, and estimates of the overall 26

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rate of depression among HIV-positive people range from 20 to 40 percent, compared to 10 percent of the general population. Serious depression, in turn, reduces the likelihood that people with HIV will stick to their medications as reliably as they need to.

Tucker said a key issue in working with people experiencing mental illness is – once again – stigma. Especially right now.

“There’s a perception that people who have mental illness are dangerous, but most people who commit crimes, even violent crimes, don’t have a mental illness. What’s out there is around the shootings in Aurora and Sandy Hook, and people saying ‘oh, the shooters must be crazy to have done that.’ We don’t even know if they have mental illnesses, and even if they do, most people with mental illnesses don’t commit these kinds of crimes.”

People with mental illness are, however, more likely to become victims of crimes, Tucker said.

“I don’t want to give the impression that they all are, but many of the stories we hear are quite shocking. Our goal is to get people back to trusting and having faith in human beings.”

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MANAGING INFECTIONS When a person tests positive for HIV, it’s crucial to connect with service providers and be able to accept and trust their support and counsel. While HIV is no longer the overwhelmingly–fatal disease it once was, the ability to expect a full, healthy lifespan with HIV is achieved only through HIV medications, and taking them the right way.

Jeff Basinger, Regional Director of Western Colorado AIDS Project explained, “On the scale for HIV in the U.S., for every 100 people with HIV, 80 know they have it, 62 are linked to regular health care, 41 are retained in care long–term, 36 have access to HIV medications and 28 have an undetectable viral load.”

That word, “undetectable,” carries an immense, if sometimes misunderstood, meaning in communities and social circles of HIV-positive people – culturally, it’s a signifier of a state of health and normalcy in the same way that having an HIV infection advance to diagnosis of “AIDS” is culturally seen as alarming. But an undetectable viral load, as the ideal state for an HIVpositive person, is also medically important for HIV-positive people and others in contact with them.

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AIDS, on one hand, is diagnosed when an HIV-positive patient’s immune system has been degraded to a certain level, determined by counting CD4 white blood cells in a blood sample or by the presence of opportunistic infections. That patient will continue to “have AIDS” even if the immune system bounces back, lending to a purpose for the AIDS diagnosis as a statistical tool to track HIV infections in populations more than as indicating a patient’s present health or life expectancy. Viral load, on the other hand, refers to the present, and is an ongoing measurement in individual HIV cases.

When HIV-positive people take anti–retroviral medications on a regular basis, Basinger explained, it’s generally expected that the amount of the virus in their blood – the viral load – should steadily decrease until it drops below the threshold where it no longer shows up laboratory tests. That level is the ideal “undetectable” viral load – less than around 50 copies of the virus per cubic centimeter of blood, whereas a viral load on the high end of the spectrum could be 100,000 copies or more. Maintaining viral load at an undetectable level suggests the virus is not actively damaging the immune system or spreading through the body.

Not only does that lead to better outcomes in health, but also to dramatically less risk of infecting others; the chance that a risky exposure to an HIV-positive person will transmit the virus is related to the amount of virus in the HIV-positive person’s bodily fluids, including blood. But if medications are stopped, or taken inconsistently, the activity of the virus in the body springs back. Potentially, the virus could emerge in a form that is resistant to the medications that had been suppressing it before – and if another person is infected by that resistant strain, she or he starts off with an infection that can’t be well– controlled with the medication it is resistant to.

When people have highly–resistant strains of HIV, medication regimes that typically work wonders will fail to completely control the virus, Basinger said, leaving patients to hope a new kind of medication is released before it’s too late.

And since decreasing viral load also decreases the chance of transmission to others, getting HIV-positive people into medical care, on medications and taking them consistently is a central goal of working with clients who are already HIVpositive: improving outcomes in their lives and the chance of new infections at the same time.

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“Our primary goal as case managers is to get clients physicians who are HIV specialists, working out of in medical care and make sure they’re adhering to Durango, Glenwood Springs and Grand Junction. A it,” said Kira Whitley, who manages a group of case few others come in from Denver on a monthly basis, managers at Southern Colorado AIDS Project along leaving patients a limited window to make their appointments and less flexibility if they have difficulty with a few clients of her own.

Case managers are people who work directly with getting to them. Clients in remote areas might have a HIV-positive patients through a personal relationship, case manager drive them to appointments.

Many people diagnosed providing human support and with HIV in rural areas move providing the client the services to bigger cities with better and referrals the organization access to health care and offers. Individuals who come support, while at the same time in to testing centers and test people who are HIV positive positive are quickly connected move to Colorado from other to a case manager after follow– states that have long waiting up testing at a lab or hospital lists to receive anti-retroviral confirms an HIV infection. medication, Basinger said.

Frequency of meetings The longest waiting lists in the between a client and case nation have been in the Southmanager can vary, and new east, particularly Florida and clients will begin by discussing Georgia where each state’s list with a case manager what kinds was in the thousands until a of needs and services the case 2012 federal funding package manager will be involved in. closed a significant amount “It’s dealing with a lot of difof the gap there and in other ferent issues – some have low Southern Colorado AIDS Project’s states. needs and just want a little social region director Richard Blair.

The cultural mix in Western support, so we see them maybe Photo by Brad Flora Colorado is different from the once a year,” Whitley said. “A lot Denver area, with much less of our clients are highly funcof a visible LGBT presence, tional. If you catch HIV early enough, it doesn’t affect work at all. Other groups are Basinger said. While there are fewer HIV cases facing homelessness and low income, so we connect overall in the region, a larger proportion of them are intravenous drug users or women. them with housing and financial assistance.”

“In rural areas, there are more cases of men who In each service region, CAP has teams of case managers to work with a wide variety of patients, travel to Denver to have sex with men, then return often assigning clients facing certain circumstances and infect their wives or girlfriends,” Basinger said. with a case manager familiar with them, though with “It’s more of a closeted culture here, and more men less rigidity. “Case management is not the same as who have sex with men but don’t identify as gay.”

A challenge that comes with that – particularly in prevention, where cases are segmented,” Whitley the cases of women infected by a partner – is discovsaid.

A client’s mental state, living situation, route of ering they have HIV when they haven’t thought or infection, current health and existing knowledge of learned much about it before. “The women certainly HIV are all factors in creating a plan for services. are dealing with a wide range of issues, from fidelity And Basinger from WestCAP said that in rural areas, of the marriage partnership to caring for family and another major factor in plants for services is the children,” Basinger said. “And we have clients who are certainly fearful of being client’s geographic distance part of WestCAP because of hofrom the nearest place for HIV mophobia, whether it’s women treatment. or MSM.”

HIV IN RURAL COMMUNITIES

WOMEN AND CHILDREN

“The majority of women got HIV “It’s as difficult to manage HIV through heterosexual contact,” infections in a rural commuTreiber from N–CAP said, “and nity as it is in an urban comwe reach out to women in high munity,” Basinger said. “I know or moderate risk populations. in Denver it certainly isn’t easy, Some have used intravenous but the general public needs to understand how medically drugs and others have partners under–served people in a rural who use intravenous drugs or community are.” are MSM.” The region served by Since many women aren’t SCAP case manager Kira Whitley.

WestCAP – 22 of the state’s aware of being at risk for HIV – Photo by Brad Flora 64 counties – includes Grand “It’s definitely more difficult to Junction, Durango, Steamboat reach out to women,” Treiber Springs and the big ski resorts of Aspen and Vail, said – routine HIV testing during pregnancy is one along with the most sparsely–populated regions of place where they can learn their status and start the state. treatment to avoid passing the infection to the child.

“A lot of our work has to be done by telephone, fax Throughout the world, children who have HIV and email, and there’s also a lot of travel,” Basinger overwhelmingly were infected by HIV-positive said.

In the entire WestCAP region there are only three

AIDS WALK COLORADO

By the #’s $1,700,000 the most money ever raised at AIDS Walk, was in 1998. $373,065.21 the amount raised at last year’s AIDS Walk.

16 the number of panels from the AIDS Memorial Quilt currently on display at Macy’s at the Cherry Creek Shopping Center’s escalator atrium.

144 the number of panels from AIDS Memorial Quilt that will be on display during AIDS Walk.

45 minutes, the average time it takes to complete the AIDS Walk course.

1,461 the number of feet participants in the Diva Dash have to run in at least 3-inch stilettos.

61 the number of counties CAP serves clients. There are 64 counties in Colorado. *Source, Colorado AIDS Project

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mothers through childbirth or breastfeeding, and according to the CDC, 25 percent of children born in the U.S. to an HIVpositive mother who isn’t receiving treatment are themselves infected with HIV. With HIV treatment, transmission rates are low enough that HIV service organizations recommend women who want to have children to do so.

“I’ve noticed that when a lot of women find out they have HIV, the first thing that comes to their mind is that they can’t have children, and that’s a fear we have to dispel,” Whitley from S–CAP said. “As long as they’re adhering to medication there’s less than a 1 percent chance of passing HIV on to their child. We encourage them to have children if they want.”

If the infant is given anti-retroviral medications shortly after birth, that can further reduce the chance that a potential exposure results in HIV infection for the child.

Aside from childbirth, Whitley said that another concern HIV-positive women have is privacy; “often, especially from females, people who get infected through heterosexual contact have a lot of concern about who knows and who has to find out,” she said.

CURING THE STIGMA “We have had several clients fired because of HIV. It can’t really happen legally, but it does happen,” Whitley said.

“There’s not a lot we can do – we don’t’ have a lot of legal resources – and employers do a good job of coming up with another reason to cover that it was related to HIV, but our clients know.”

Concerns about discrimination and judgment are widespread in the HIV-positive community – most sources brought it up in one way or another as a top concern that CAP’s clients have, and gay men often describe the expe-

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IDS WALK

rience of revealing HIV-positive status as “coming out” a second time.

For closeted MSM and straight people with HIV – who have no experience with coming out – it’s the challenge of doing it for first time. Or in some cases, it’s being so afraid of judgment or assumptions made about them that they don’t seek help at all.

“We actually just had a sad case where a heterosexual male who had HIV through a blood transfusion had been afraid to seek treatment for years because he didn’t want to be thought of as gay or a drug user,” Whitley said. “When he finally came in, it was too late.”

One place to go to challenge that stigma is with youth, which several of the case managers and CAP directors advocated, in hopes that the next generation of people to reach adulthood will have awareness and understanding of HIV members whether they will be members of a high–risk category or not.

“We do a lot of education in schools,” Hickok from DCAP said. “Various schools will call us to do HIV and sexual health curriculum, and we test youth age 14-24 – it’s lots of testing.”

Hickok said that even if someone comes in to DCAP and is unlikely to test positive, they’ll provide a test.

“There are a lot of worried folks who come in and are very low–risk – not sexually active, or not sexually active since their last test – and we won’t deny them a test. It’s just peace of mind,” he said, although the overwhelming likelihood is that they won’t test positive for HIV. And to those who do test positive: “A message we send is, if you have HIV, you didn’t ‘mess up,’” Hickok said. “It’s just something that happened. It’s a huge challenge to work against that stigma.”

TESTED FOR FREE: mm GET ofcnow.co/5pR

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HIV/ AIDS IN COLORADO

By the #’s 17,331 the number of people who have been diagnosed with HIV in Colorado 5,600+ the number of people who have died as a result of their HIV/AIDS status in Colorado 11,700 people who were living with HIV in Colorado at the end of 2012 137 the number of people between the ages of 20 and 29 which were diagnosed with HIV in 2012 81 the percent of new people living with HIV in 2012 that linked to men having sex with men 55 the percent of new women living HIV in 2012 linked to heterosexual sex *Source: Colorado HIV Surveillance Quarterly Report 2012

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AIDS WALK SPECIAL SECTION

e Flashback: AIDS WALK 2012 x photos by Charles Broshous

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CHEESMAN PARK

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Little Dragon 1305 Krameria Street, G Denver • 303-322-2128 LittleDragonDenver.com

5 reasons why Denver is the culinary center of the world

By Jeffrey Steen AS POLITICS AND FASHION CHURN AND BURN, I THINK IT’S IMPORTANT TO STOP AND REMEMBER TWO OF THE THINGS WE LOVE THE MOST ABOUT OUR LIVES: FOOD AND LIVING IN DENVER. TO THAT END, I’VE PUT TOGETHER A LIST OF 10 REASONS WHY DENVER IS AMERICA’S NEXT CULINARY MECCA, AND WHY WE LOVE IT MORE THAN RUPAUL. THESE ARE NOT IN ANY HIERARCHICAL ORDER, MIND YOU – JUST REASONS TO LOVE THE MILE HIGH’S CULINARY PROWESS.

Hamburger Mary’s 700 East 17th Avenue Denver • 303-832-1333 HamburgerMarys.com/denver

Serioz Pizzeria 1336 East 17th Ave. Denver • 303-997-7679 SeriozPizza.com

DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe 865 Lincoln St. Denver • 303-386-3375 DjsCafe.biz/.com

2. HOPPIN’ FOR HOPS. OK, so you might be tired of hearing about the sea of breweries that are opening, changing, growing, brewing, and otherwise flooding Denver with beer. But let’s be honest: it’s in our blood. What’s more, we’re leading the charge of a new phenomenon that pairs beer with food. Oh, and did I mention we’re the envied host of the Great American Beer Festival (brewersassociation.com) every year?

3. LOCAL IS AS LOCAL DOES. A few weeks ago, I was reading an article in The New York Times about how New York City residents are clamoring to be part of community gardens, since, I suppose, a condo on the Upper Westside doesn’t leave much room for cultivating summer squash. Even New York restaurants are donning rooftop greenery just to show that they are “farm-to-table

The Melting Pot 2707 W. Main St. Littleton • (303)-794-5666 MeltingPot.com

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1. I HAVE A DREAM. It might be a blessing and a curse, but Denver has seen its share of home–grown culinary empires. Once upon a time there was Kevin Taylor, then there wasn’t really much of Kevin Taylor, and now there’s a lot of him again.

Richard Sandoval – whose Latin–loving kitchens dot the city’s landscape – planted roots in Denver years ago with Tamayo, and is now bringing his international headquarters to Denver. There are other successes to note, of course – like the handiwork of Josh Wolkon with Vesta Dipping Grill, Steuben’s, and Ace; not to mention the legion of stellar restaurants Frank Bonanno and Jennifer Jasinski have conjured. It would seem that whatever your ambition, Denver’s a good place to give your culinary dream a go.

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friendly.” Here, however, not only do restaurants maintain their own farms (nods to Black Cat and Fruition), but inspired diners are taking up the local mantle on their own. The key is: we have the room to do it.

4. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 MEALS. To the world outside, Denver is still more or less a cow town, pushing its way slowly into the realm of cosmopolitan-ness. To those who live in Denver, however, our city is far more diverse than people realize.

We have a bevy of ethnic cuisine stops where ordering in English is sometimes a challenge – and evidence of authenticity. Out east in Aurora, there are known to be quite a few unassuming but delectable Korean barbecue restaurants, while Japanese and sushi standards skip from Wash Park (Sushi Den, Izakaya Den) to Boulder (Sushi Zanmai). There’s Mexican, Italian, German, French, Scandinavian – you name it. The world may not know it, but we have a proverbial salad bowl of cuisines right in our own backyard.

5. CRITIC’S CRUCIBLE. If you ever make a stop in LA, or New York, or Chicago – even a mellow Northwest destination like Seattle – and pick up the local rag, you’ll probably find a restaurant critic who’s settled in for the long haul. They eat a steak, they like a steak, they tell you to like the steak. I have seen their reviews usher out into the dining ether like proclamations to be absorbed without challenged. I’ll admit that everyone loves a competent, thoughtful critic. But what’s great about Denver is that restaurant criticism is always a conversation. If you’re a critic, you can’t really get away with black-and-white renderings of fresh-on-the-scene eateries, simply because we Denverites know better. We have our own experiences and we’re not afraid to share them.

It makes reading a review much more dynamic and, in my humble opinion, far more interesting.

r For five additional reasons to love Denver dining, go to ofcnow.co/dd10 or scan this QR code

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HIGH SOCIETY

Peter and the Starcatcher Aug. 15 – Sept. 1 1101 13th St. • Denver r DenverCenter.org

‘Steel’ing a moment with Billie McBride

The Wizard of Oz

Now – Aug. 31 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • Boulder r bouldersdinnertheatre.com

By Michael Mulhern

Shawn Colvin

Aug. 22 Chautauqua Auditorium • 900 Baseline Road Boulder r chautauqua.com

Sulphur Gulch Blues Festival Aug. 17 PACE Center • 20000 Pikes Peak Ave. Parker • r PACEcenteronline.org

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Sept. 13 – Oct. 13 2450 W Main St. • Littleton r townhallartscenter.com

Sibelius Symphony No. 2 Oct. 4 Boettcher Concert Hall • 1000 14th St Denver • r coloradosympony.com

RFK – A Portrait of Robert Kennedy July 26 – Aug. 31 Vintage Theatre • 1468 Dayton St. Aurora • r vintagetheatre.com

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SOCIAL

SINCE BILLIE MCBRIDE’S EARLY ROOTS IN NEW YORK on ABC’s All My Children and on Broadway with Torch Song Trilogy, she has proven to be a fierce talent. Denver was blessed when she decided to put her roots down here. Since moving to the Rocky Mountains, she has gone on to give memorable performances in The Giver, Trip to Bountiful, and Noises Off at the Denver Center; The Importance of Being Earnest, The Full Monty, and The Women and especially as Frau Schneider in Cabaret at the Arvada Center. McBride brings a gay icon to life as Ouiser (or Weezer) in Steel Magnolias with one of her favorite causes – Senior Housing Options.

them and it is always been a wonderful experience.

MM: Why do you think Steel Magnolias is such a treasured classic?

BM: I think the author is a very funny writer. He knows how to write a joke. And he also knows how to capture the heart.

MM: Tell us more about Senior Housing Options and how this production benefits the organization?

BM: SHO is an amazing organization. These are people who would not have a home, not have care, don’t have family or money or insurance.

And they are wonderful people that I’ve had the privilege of spending the last three years with. Doing these productions MICHAEL MULHERN: You just helps by providing some money closed a highly praised producto buy them medications, one tion of Collected Stories how year some air conditioning units was that experience for you? and one year a television.

BILLIE MCBRIDE: It was an amazing experience! It is so

glorious to do a well–written play MM: What does Pride and do it with such a wonderful mean to you? actress as Devon James. I played BB: That’s difficult to answer. Pride Billie McBride some pretty phenomenal characmeans many things to me. Being ters in my career but I have to say Ruth Steiner is on happy with who you are, proud of who you are. the top of the list.

Bravery! The ability to stand up and say this is who I am, but it’s not all that I am.

MM: We’re excited about Steel Magnolias, MM: Is there a play or musical that you what do you hope audiences take from this absolutely adore and would star in over production?

BM: Mostly I hope they enjoy it. It’s a glorious and over again? cast to work with. It’s funny, different from the BM: I would play Fraulein Snyder in Cabaret until the movie as it takes place only in the beauty shop. I day I died. I also loved being Joanne in Company. think it will make people laugh and make people cry but the most important thing is that we are MM: What’s next for you after Magnolias? doing it for a very good cause, Senior Housing BM: I am directing the play Vigil for the Cherry Creek Options. The staffs at these hotels are angels. Theater. It stars Lawrence Hecht and Patty Figel and Without these homes many people would be on opens Oct. 4. It’s a wonderful play and I highly recthe street. This is my third year doing a play for ommend it for every community.

Steel Magnolias plays at the historic lobby of The Barth Hotel, 1514 17th St. Curtain at 7:30 p.m. every Thursday, Friday and Saturday at The play runs every Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. until Aug. 24. rFor more information and to purchase tickets, visit seniorhousingoptions.org or call 303-595-4464 ext.10.

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Thursdays: Karaoke hosted by Dave Myers at 8 p.m.; half-price bar from 8-9 p.m. e Blush & Blu – BlushBluBar.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 wells, vino, domestics, lattes; $1.50 PBR’s; $4 shots of Fireball 3 p.m.-7 p.m.

Fridays: Top 40 jams and dance party with DJ JodyB at 9 p.m.

Sundays: Molly’s famous $4 Bloody’s e BoyzTown – BoyzTownDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: Monday-Thursday: 3 p.m. till 8 p.m. and Friday–Sunday: noon to 8 p.m.

Mondays–Thursdays: Absolut $4.50 “U Call”

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Fridays & Sundays: Stoli $4.50 “U Call” Fridays–Sundays: 3Olives $4.50 “U Call” e Compound Basix – CompoundDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: 7am till 10am and 5pm till 8pm, $2.50 Wells, $3.00 Domestic Longnecks & $2.00 off Calls!

FRIDAY & SATURDAY DANCE PARTIES: $2.00 Wells from 9pm till 11pm & $4.00 JagerBombs all nite long!

BEER BUSTS: Fridays, Saturdays, & Sundays 6pm till 10pm for $8.00. e Charlie’s – CharliesDenver.com DAILY BEER SPECIAL: $4 for a 32 oz. domestic pitcher and $8 for a premium pitcher Mondays: Karaoke at 9 p.m. // $2.25 Bacardi (9 p.m.-close) Thursdays: 1/2 price night.

Fridays: $10 Buddy Beer Bust (5-8 p.m.) $3 Absolut (9 p.m.-close) Saturdays: $5 Beer Bust (2-5 p.m.)

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e Eden Restaurant & Bar EdenDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 Domestics and wells, $2 off wines (4 p.m.-7 p.m.) // $4 calls and shots (11 p.m.-midnight) Thursdays: Karaoke 9 p.m.

Sundays: 10 a.m. Yoga, $7 per class e El Potrero – Facebook.com/el.potrero.180 No cover on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Wednesdays: Drag Wednesdays with 2-for-1 beers, $3 rum, and vodka specials, $2 drafts Fridays: Go-Go Fridays with $2 rum and vodka specials, $2 drafts, $5 Jose Cuervo, $15 beer buckets and $5 Jager shots e Li’l Devils – LilDevilsLounge.com Short Bus Mondays: A different beer and cocktail special every Monday, $3 or less.

Wednesdays: $4 22 ounces tanks of your choice.

Sundays: Trivia Night. Compete for free drinks and bar tabs, starting at 7:30 p.m., $3 Smirnoff.

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e Lipstick Nightclub – lipstick.us.com HOURS OF OPERATION: 8 p.m. to 2 a.m., Wednesday through Sunday. Visit website for specials. e Tracks – TracksDenver.com Thursdays: Superstar Night, 18 + dance party; Cover: 18-20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10 p.m.

Saturdays: Elevated Saturdays; 2-for-1 drinks between 9 p.m. -10 p.m.; No cover before 10 p.m. e Wrangler – DenverWrangler.com Tuesdays: Tightwad Tuesdays with $2 beer grab, $2 wells, and $3.50 domestics // $5 Buy-in pool tournament Wednesdays: Geeks who Drink Pub Trivia (8-10 p.m.)

Sundays: $8 Legendary Beer Bust (4-8 p.m.)

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4501 E Virginia Ave Denver, Colorado 80246 • (303) 388-8889 www.facebook.com/elpotreroclub

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Sponsored by Tuaca

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A. Aqua Lounge B. blush & blu C. BoyzTown D. Charlies E. Eden

F. El Potrero G. Li’l Devils H. Lipstick I. Compound Basix J. Tracks K. Wrangler

989 SHERIDAN BLVD LIPSTICK.US.COM D

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BAR RAG

BLACK CROWN, LOBRO ANTIQUE SELLERS, HOST ANNUAL SUMMER BASH The fourth annual Summer Bash on lower Broadway is Aug. 17. The street fair features some of Denver’s favorite antique shops – including Black

Restaurant to donate 10 percent of food sales to Center An Uptown modern Vietnamese bistro, Parallel Seventeen, will be donating 10 percent of August food sales to The GLBT Community Center of Colorado.

Featuring Northern style yellow curry, clay pot roasted chicken and white asparagus flatbread, to name a few, Parallel at 1600 E. 17th Ave. has become a local favorite about LGBTers, including former Out Front editor Holly Hatch. (Monday mornings usually included her raving about the her brunch there.)

Now the restaurant has partnered with The Center and the nonprofit’s Out on the Town series to give back.

Out on the Town, normally a singular monthly event (former participating restaurants include Fuel and Fire on the Mountain), makes donating to the Center easy. Show up at the restaurant, mention the program to your server and at least 10 percent of your dinner goes to The Center.

Parallel has agreed to participate in the series or the entire month of August.

Parallel Seventeen’s sister restaurants Street Kitchen and Asian Bistro will also be donating portions of their food sales all month.

DECISIONS.

DECISIONS.

Crown, which was also recently recognized as Denver’s best gay bar by 5280.

Mark Cameron, owner of Black Crown, said with the street construction finally finished on Broadway, the Antique Row Merchants Association is hoping to re-introduce the strip below Interstate 25 as a destination.

DECISIONS. has it all.

760 E Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80203 www.argonautliquor.com 40

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ON THE SCENE

e America the Beautiful Park COLORADO SPRINGS PRIDE x July 20-21, 2013 photos by Charles Broshous Colorado Springs PrideFest celebrated it’s 23rd Anniversary July 20 and 21. The LGBT community came together with their friends and straight allies for a weekend of fun in the sun at America The Beautiful Park. This year’s festivities included a 5K run, a parade through downtown, a mass civil union ceremony, numerous vendors, a beer garden, and tantalizing entertainment from a variety of performers. Organizers estimate that this year’s attendance was the largest in the event’s 23 year history.

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ON THE SCENE

e X Bar DRAG QUEEN BINGO x

July 31, 2013

photos by Charles Broshous For seven years Denver drag queens Nina Montaldo and Shanida Lawya have ruled Wednesday nights with Drag Queen Bingo. First at JR.’s, then, after the Uptown watering hole closed in 2011, at X Bar. But the tradition of Pink Tacos and and blackout rounds will came to an end at Aug. 31. X Bar will begin hosting a new dance party on Wednesdays. As for Montaldo and Lawya, there are no current plans to move their bingo to another bar.

“It’s been amazing being able to be a part of a seven-year run of entertaining the crowds, hosting Denver’s longest running bingo. I can’t believe it has come to an end,” Lawya said. “What is an out of work bingo drag queen to do now on a Wednesday night?”

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RADIOACTIVE VISION

The secret to a perfect hair day

BY NOW, I THINK OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS EVOLVED TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN FINALLY SHARE MY BEAUTY SECRETS AND NOT HAVE TO KILL YOU. BLESS THE HEARTS OF ALL THOSE THAT CAME BEFORE YOU, MAY THEY REST IN PEACE.

Nuclia Waste

There are two things I always spend money on to look good in drag, and I suggest you do the same, drag or sans drag.

Those two things are hair and shoes.

This time round, we’ll concentrate on your locks.

There are two things I always spend money on to look good in drag, and I suggest you do the same, drag or sans drag. Those two things are hair and shoes. This time round, we’ll concentrate on your locks.

The first time I ever did drag I thought, “Oh, this will be easy. I will just buy a colored wig, tease the hell out of it and plop it on my head.”

Wrong! I was oh–so–very wrong. If you looking for horribly mangled road kill atop your noggin’, then give that a try.

Some gays were given the gene for hair bumping. I was not one of them. I have learned there is a difference between synthetic hair wigs and real human hair wigs. (That just sounds creepy, now matter how you say it. You’re wearing someone’s chopped off hair on your head. Eww.) So for my colorful beehives and bouffants, I turned to the experts, Asian women. They know manicures, pedicures and how to tease hair to heaven. Those little women can produce some big results.

At first I was getting my hair from a place on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. It was not cheap ($300 a styled wig) but it was amazing. The only trouble was that even with the strongest of hair sprays, the styling only lasts so long. If it were not for dry Colorado air, that hair would have gone flatter than a possum at a steamroller convention.

In order to make the most of my big hair investments, I developed my Nuclia Waste Secret Weapon Hair Spray. Here’s the recipe: 1 part Elmer’s Clear School Gel Glue 1 part warm water Mix and fill a spray bottle. Spray the hell out of the wig until it is moist, but not wet. And now, for the most important part, hang it upside down to dry overnight. The next morning you will have helmet hair to die for. That styling will last through a hurricane or a few double black diamonds at Telluride Gay Ski Week. With my secret formula, your wig styling will last for years.

Since then I have found another place in California that can bump some good hair, this time in San Diego, Granada Wigs. They charge half the price and their wigs are impeccable.

So there you have it. Beauty hair secrets, and you get to live. r Nuclia Waste, the Triple Nipple Drag Queen of Comedy, can be reached through her website at NucliaWaste.com.

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QUEER MARRIAGE

PICTURE-PERFECT:

Katie and Christine’s storybook wedding

By Robyn Vie-Carpenter IT’S FUNNY – MOST PEOPLE THINK NOTHING OF IT WHEN TWO RIDICULOUSLY–HANDSOME GUYS FIND THEMSELVES IN LOVE, BUT WHEN TWO LESBIANS BOTH LOOK LIKE THEY COME FROM A BRIDAL MAGAZINE, THE WEDDING PHOTOS SEEM TO BE MET WITH SURPRISE. This is the story of two souls, Katie Andelman– Garner and Christine Garner, united June 9, 2013 in San Diego surrounded by family and close friends under a beautiful white tent and crystal chandeliers.

ROBYN VIE-CARPENTER: Your destination wedding must have been a challenge to plan.

CHRISTINE GARNER: Katie did tons of research, not just our location but every detail of our wedding.

KATIE ANDELMAN: It’s hard planning a wedding from a different state. I’m a wedding photographer and I’m glad I’ve had the experience of seeing so many weddings – I definitely knew what worked and what didn’t and what I really wanted. It was a lot of work, but it was magical and ethereal and just what we wanted.

RVC: Tell me about how you met.

CHRISTINE: We actually met through some good friends who’d recently gotten engaged themselves. They introduced us at another friend’s birthday party. And we met that first night and it’s pretty much been…

KATIE: Well it was pretty cute. They wanted to set us up – they were like, there’s this amazing 46

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girl we want you to meet, you guys would get along really well. I was hesitant, so they were like, then we won’t tell her.

RVC: How long ago was that, and how long did you date before you knew it was something special?

KATIE: It’s been three years. We actually dated a year before we moved in together – no U-Haul. We lived together another year and then Christine proposed.

CHRISTINE: It’s the inner beauty where you build a relationship. People hold those walls up for a couple months. I say after six to eight months you’re going to see, it’s either a good thing or a bad thing.

KATIE: I’ll put it this way: Nobody’s perfect, we all have our strengths and our faults. Christine and I compliment each other – we take up each other’s slack. We’re really great at supporting each other through things that are hard for us, and enjoying things that are good for us.

RVC: How did Christine propose?

KATIE: It was a super sweet proposal. I knew it was going to happen, I just didn’t know when.

She totally surprised me. She took me to the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs. She was a nervous wreck; the whole day I’m like, baby are you OK?.

CHRISTINE: Right before we were going down to dinner, obviously, I knew what was going to happen and she didn’t. We were just lying in the bed and laughing, and she put her hand OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

over the top of my chest, my heart was beating through my chest.

KATIE: And I was like, ‘oh my goodness, are you alright?’

CHRISTINE: And I’m like, ‘yeah, I’m just thinking about work. I’m a little stressed out.’ I just made up some story and then got up to get ready. All day I kept scooping out areas where I could potentially do it. Once I decided I handed off the camera, bolted over to her and took out the ring.

KATIE: She actually handed the camera to the doorman. She was like ‘I’m going to propose to my girlfriend, can you record this?’

CHRISTINE: I was not ‘Rico Suave’ at all. I immediately got down on my knee and said the things I wanted to say.

KATIE: She did a good job, because she opened the box and once I saw the ring it all went mute – it was very romantic. For my ring, we were walking in a mall in California. I saw this ring and I said, ‘oh my god baby, if we ever get married, that’s the ring I want.’ And that’s what I got. I’m obsessed with my ring.

CHRISTINE: The ring that Katie gave me is actually her great, great grandmother’s ring. I feel pretty awesome. It means so much.

KATIE: It’s a family heirloom – really special to our family. I talked to my mother and I talked to my grandmother. I told them that I found the girl of my dreams and I want to give her this ring and they gave their blessing. So, I gave it to Christine and it actually fit her finger perfectly. It was meant to be.

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For info. on placing a Marketplace ad > c 303-477-4000 or @ advertising@outfrontonline.com [ CHIROPRACTIC ]

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ALLIES*

6 ways to make your vacation worry free

By Chris Keith

COMMITMENT. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, person For more than 35 years, Out Front has chronicled the struggle for equality.

And while we celebrate a major victory, the fight continues.

Like us on Facebook today to be a part of the next step toward full marriage equality.

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IN TODAY’S HECTIC WORLD, vacation time is more precious than ever before. Spending time with the ones you love and away from work is a very healthy thing to do. Whether it is a long weekend or a two week vacation, being away from home for an extended period can create some worry and anxiety about someone burglarizing your home or property while you are away.

Unfortunately, the latest report from the Colorado Bureau of Investigation reported 131,000 property crimes in Colorado. You certainly want to do all you can to protect yourself from becoming a victim.

Here are six basic way you can create less worry and reduce the chance of burglary while you are away: • Notify your neighbors that you will be out of town. Ask them to keep an eye on your home while you are away • Make sure you have your mail and newspapers held • Do not post your vacation plans on social media sites • Double check that your doors and windows are firmly closed and locked • Leave a light on in the house while you are gone • If you have a security system, please make sure you arm it. If you do not have a security system, do yourself a favor before your next vacation and discover the “Peaceof-Mind” security systems now offer There are also other security system services available for a more safe and secure home or business: Burglar Detection

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Fire, water/flood and carbon monoxide detection and monitoring Convenient remote access /connectivity from anywhere, anytime on your smart phone, tablet or computer Customer controlled Interactive services including security system control, temperature control, lighting control and video monitoring There is a local solution to keep you worry free on your next vacation. United Security Systems is a Colorado company that consistently delivers a high level of personal attention, value and professional expertise to each and every one of their customers. They offer the latest and greatest technology option with the reliable local service you can count on.

Call United Security Systems today at 303-778-7000, or visit their website at www.unitedcolorado. com if you are interested in discovering the benefits of a security system and the safety, convenience, connectivity and “peace-of-mind” their systems offer. They will provide a no-cost, no-obligation on-site visit and consultation including a complete analysis of your protection and connection needs plus a professional education on the security options best suited for you.

Enjoy your vacation!

Chris Keith is the Director of Sales and Technology for United Security Systems, a locally owned and operated security company serving Colorado homes and businesses since 1957.

Contact Chris at 303-778-7000. *Allies is a promotional program by Out Front

METRO LIVING

Francis Toumbakaris crafts his own stage

By Mark Dawson

Photos by: Dirty Sugar Photography

HGTV’S NEWEST RENOVATION STUD, Francis Toumbakaris, is as comfortable in a pair of tights and slippers as he is in boots and overalls. Trained in classical ballet since he was 12, Toumbakaris has high kicked his way onto the national tours of Fosse and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and on Broadway in the revival of Fiddler on the Roof starring Alfred Molina and later Harvey Fierstein and Rosie O’Donnell. Other theatrical career highlights include the award winning Susan Stroman dance musical Contact, and Candid at The New York City Opera.

“Drama is in my blood,” he said. “I am Greek, after all. Drama was born in my country.” His animation shines in Brother Vs. Brother, HGTV’s latest competition show where renovators are split into two teams – Team Drew and Team Jonathan – to compete for a $50,000 cash prize. “I’m out and loud,” he continues. “I’m not afraid to get dirty and I thrive on making decisions on the fly.

“I want to think I am a likable character, but it’s a show where even within our own teams, we are pitted against one another. The show is filled with conflict.”

Conflict is nothing new to Toumbakaris. “My whole professional career has been an uphill battle.”

Toumbakaris has been financially independent since he was 15, when he left his Athens home on scholarship to attend the prestigious Rudra Béjart dance school in Switzerland. The same OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

year Toumbakaris entered high school he signed a lease on his own studio apartment. “It was a bit scary,” he remembers. “I was a boy living in a very grown-up world.”

To make the tiny studio a home away from home, he painted, decorated and, with the help of his stepfather, constructed customized furniture for it. “I designed a dual purpose kitchen island that would allow me extra counter space and storage.

What 15-year-old thinks of that?” he laughs. “But I loved it. I felt the same thrill handling tools as I did pointing my toes and trying to leap higher than anyone else in my ballet class.”

In 2000, on a tourist visa, he set out for New York City. He had only $2,000 in his pocket, money he had saved from being a backup dancer for a pop singer in Greece. But he was young, driven and ambitious.

He would land the occasional theater and film job. In addition to his stage work, Toumbakaris appeared on the big screen, with speaking parts in two major motion pictures: Joaquin Phoenix’s We own the Night and Tim Robbins’ Noise. But he needed another job to see him through the lean months in-between show biz gigs. After returning from touring with Scoundrels, he placed an ad on the Internet looking for small painting projects, repair work and other odd jobs. “I would ride around the city on my bicycle and a back-pack full of tools,” he laughs.

The big surprise was when his survival job began to take on a life of it’s own. One satisfied client referred another, which led to another and so on. Within a year, Toumbakaris went from completing simple jobs to doing full-scale renovations in Manhattan apartments. He hired an assistant, filed for insurance and in 2007, his contracting and design company, Greek & Handy was established.

Toumbakaris believes his years as a dancer helped prepare him for design. The stage taught him to be fearless, to perform under tremendous stress and to make the job work even when all appears to be going wrong. It taught him to trust his gut instinct and most importantly, dance taught him about the art of space.

“Dancers learn to appreciate how bodies and objects flow through space. I bring that philosophy into my renovations, striving to find the perfect balance in a room through smart design and efficient layout.”

According to Toumbakaris, good design is not simply about pretty colors, fabrics and accessories. It is an art that requires precise and intricate problem solving. “I am constantly calculating new ways to improve my clients work and living environments.”

Toumbakaris describes his style as comfortable luxury with a classic urban feel. “I like to think of myself as the orchestra conductor. Although I may not play all the instruments, I direct all the moving pieces to create one beautiful harmony.”

His theatrical training even helped to land Brother Vs. Brother. “I auditioned three times for the network, hoping to compete on season four of HGTV’s Design Star.” However, producers felt Toumbakaris’ background in home construction was better suited for Drew and Jonathan’s new show.

He’s excited that Brother Vs. Brother is giving him the opportunity to combine his love of show biz with his passion for renovation. “I never thought wearing a tool belt would give me the chance to perform on a new stage,” he says. “But why not? I’m an artist. I’m always looking to create something new.”

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BEAUTY

A new take on beauty

By Kelsey Lindsey

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l I WANT TO FIRST AND FOREMOST START THIS COLUMN WITH AN APOLOGY. In a recent issue, I freely criticized the physical attributes of some of our readers, a phrase that was written to be lighthearted came across as judgmental and mean. It was never my intention to make any of Out Front’s readers uncomfortable about their body or insecure about any part of their appearance.

I ended my very first column with the statement: “You are beautiful just the way you are.” Reading this encouragement after I wrote those troubling words, I wondered what happened in those few short months that turned me into this judgmental mess—doling out beauty tips from my pedestal of all–things–beauty wisdom.

I think the first setback came when I began to browse the web looking for inspiration before writing some of my pieces. Looking at beauty magazines, Pinterest, and even to my own friends for guidance, I discovered that 90 percent of all beauty writing preaches transformative care—how to pluck, moisturize, shampoo, and color your way to a better you. Instead of dolling out accolades for the natural beauty we have in all of us, many seem to want us to conform into a natural mold of some kind of preconceived beauty.

LIVING

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This conversation isn’t new. For years (decades even) there has been talk about how the media has been confining the public to harsher and harsher standards of beauty.

I’ve heard it all before, but I never thought that I would be contributing to this barrage of status–quo peer pressure.

In the fear of slipping even further into this black hole of beauty judgment, my editors and I have decided to do an about face, reassessing our goals for the column and what form of beauty service we are offering our readers. What we developed is a refreshing and innovative column, one that reflects Out Front’s core values of diversity and acceptance. I admit that once or twice I had strayed from these principles in my writing, but I believe this new direction is an encouraging inspiration to produce content not only uplifting for my readers, but also for myself.

Rather than appear twice a month as a self–help fix–it guide, this column will challenge society’s preconceived notions of beauty, celebrating the good found in every person, not just a select few. We hope to bring a new voice into the world of fashion and beauty, one that is steeped in praise rather than judgment. Most of all we hope to help you all honor and love yourselves, both by reading our publication and living your beautifully fabulous lives.

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THRIVE

What every LGBT person should discuss with their doctor

By Rob Barger

Getting an annual check up with a doctor can be a great way to stay on top of your own health issues, as well as being a great opportunity to discuss that weird mole that turned a darker brown a few months ago.

As for me, I am lucky enough to have a dad in the medical field, so I’ve never gone to a check up. I’ve never even had a physical. Does my dad appreciate phone calls at 4:30 a.m. with me in tears, wailing about my new browner– looking mole that I’m 300 percent sure is cancer? I’m sure he does, because I never call for any other reasons.

But I am not a great model to go off of for keeping yourself healthy. For all you who don’t have parents in the medical field, annual check-ups are a staple.

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I TALKED WITH DR. RITA LEE FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO HOSPITAL TO LEARN SOME TIPS ON LGBT HEALTH IN PARTICULAR:

• In the LGBT community, rates of tobacco use, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation are much more prevalent, so keeping your doctor in the loop with any of these is vital to your wellness.

• Lesbians (and women in general) should be sure to be up–to–date with pap smears and mammograms.

• Heart health, such as blood pressure, cholesterol, and BMI should also be monitored regularly.

• Gay men should be inoculated against Hepatitis A and B, have discussions with their doctors about anal pap testing, and complete HIV and STI risk/screening assessments.

• Transgender people will need monitoring labs if they are on hormones, and will need to discuss HIV risk/screening (since the HIV infection rate for transgender people is four times higher than the national average).

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Sorento keeps up with more butch Durango

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One of my favorite automotive journals recently said the 2014 Kia Sorento fell short compared to vehicles like the Dodge Durango.

It’s time to see if this assumption is really true.

The 2014 Kia Sorento EX AWD in our fleet isn’t top–of–the–line, but it’s stickered at $36,550 including its delivery charge. The 2013 Dodge Durango R/T had a rear–wheel drive only configuration, stickered at $43,555, which also included the destination charge. An All–Wheel Drive V6 version can come in closer to $40K and be similarly equipped to our Kia Sorento. Likewise, the Sorento would be about $38,650 if you add the third row.

The Durango is more than 15 inches longer and about 1.5 inches wider with 12 cubic feet more cargo capacity with the third row up. But the Kia only gives up space in the cargo room; in the legroom for the second and third row it actually has noticeably more more room than the Durango. In the front seat the 2014 Kia Sorento has a full inch more legroom. The final verdict from an interior view is that the Kia suffers the most in overall cargo and cargo with the third row up.

It made me wonder if it was the option groups that made it fall short.

In the EX AWD with the Touring Package (which adds $4,000) you

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are lavished with a leather appointed interior, heated and ventilated front seats, panoramic sunroof with power sunshade, memory seats and mirrors, power liftgate, navigation with an eight inch touch screen and an Infinity Surround Sound System.

That is in addition to the standard equipment of the EX that includes the UVO entertainment and Bluetooth system and dual zone climate control. The Durango can be outfitted with the same options with the exception of the panoramic roof, but a regular sunroof does the trick for most people.

In the end, the biggest difference between the two vehicles is personality and styling. The Dodge Durango, especially in the R/T with the Blacktop package, is a masculine and aggressive truck in both the way it drives and its outward appearance. It is, in a word, butch.

And I might add pretty attractive to the motor head in me.

The Kia is softer and with its new 2014 front facia has better looks than its predecessor. In addition, the Kia has a lower price, better fuel economy and similar if not more options than the Durango. It just doesn’t have the same personality.

Which ones is better? That is, as they say, a matter of opinion. What is clear is that the Kia can compete with the larger SUV competition making them a brand to watch and maybe give a try.

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BACK IN MY DAY

What’s your sign?

I’m a sign of the times.

I am a woman with more freedom than any previous generation in the history of humankind.

I have freedom of expression, and self-determination of my life, which women of the past could scarcely dream of.

I vote, a privilege not extended to all women in the U.S. until 1920, with the passage of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

I have complete control over my own property, a privilege not extended to American women until 1900.

I can even purchase my own property, a privilege I was astonished to find not extended to me in 1966.

I had a good job and determined to buy a house – a modest, two-bedroom frame house, the likes of which have mostly become “scrape–offs” in recent years.

However, I found that although I could qualify with my income, I could not get a loan. This refusal certainly had nothing to do with my being a lesbian. It would take another 20 years for me to figure that one out. It was because the bank wondered What would happen if she became pregnant? As an unmarried woman how would she handle the debt when she had to quit work.

(Hey, perhaps being a lesbian might actually have been an advantage!)

Just in my lifetime, how things have changed.

I had no idea that only one in a thousand women (0.1 percent) owned homes in 1960. And, wow, by 1970 we zoomed all the way up to a shaky two in a thousand (0.2 percent).

Currently, single women are around 20 percent of homebuyers while single men account for only 10 percent.

As for me, I own my home, I own and drive my car, I manage my own money. I haven’t worn a skirt since I retired; I am free to follow fashion or ignore it. I am free to follow social mores or ignore them.

I talk about religion and politics, very much verboten in my youth, and, still worse, about sex.

I have lived with my beautiful Betsy for more than 25 years. Far from causing us to live in fear, this fact does not seem to faze anyone among our acquaintances, friends, and families. And now, in 2013, neither does it, according to the Supreme Court, threaten all those straight marriages out there.

Like many older people, I get a bit curmudgeonly at times, bemoaning today’s world and muttering on about how things are not what they used to be.

How happy I should be that they are not!

I have lived, and am living, in the best possible time.

I am indeed, and delighted to be, a sign of the times.

Gillian Edwards was born and raised in England. After graduation from college there, she moved to the U.S. and, having discovered Colorado, never left. She has lived in the Denver-Boulder area since 1965, working for 30 years at IBM. She married, raised four stepchildren, then got divorced after finally, in her forties, accepting herself as a lesbian. She has now been with her partner Betsy for 25 years.

Back in MY day ...

By Gillian Edwards

“However, I found that although I could qualify with my income, I could not get a loan. This refusal certainly had nothing to do with my being a lesbian. It would take another 20 years for me to figure that one out. It was because the bank wondered What would happen if she became pregnant? AS AN UNMARRIED WOMAN HOW WOULD SHE HANDLE THE DEBT WHEN SHE HAD TO QUIT WORK.”

Got a story, memory or reflection to share from way back when? Let us know about it! Email editorial@outfrontonline.com with a story with “back in my day” iin the subject line to have it considered for print!

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SEXUALITY

ASK THE SEXPERT

Are you your own worst “size queen?”

Three’s a party, but leather has limitations Dear Shanna-

Shanna Katz

I’m in a poly relationship.

I live with my wife in Lafayette and have a girlfriend in Colorado Springs. I just bought a leather harness strap on and want to know if it’s OK for me to use it for both of them, and how to clean it between uses. Also, should I just get one dildo I can sterilize, or should I have each of them pick out their own toy?

Three is Perfect Company in Lafayette

By Lauren Archuletta Does size matter? It’s a point of conversation – or even contention – for people in gay and straight sexual relationships alike.

The entertainment industry – specifically the “adult” entertainment industry – might’ve worked to convince us that the bigger the package, the better the sex. But is that really true? And even if it is, how many of us out there actually consider it a factor when it comes to relationship and dating?

And perhaps the (ahem) biggest issue at hand: why does it matter at all?

Since penis size seems to reliably cross everybody’s mind, a Toronto family doctor decided to create a “medical prediction app” to better serve people who are extremely concerned with the matter.

The “Predicktor” app uses height, sexual orientation and finger length while cross-referencing trends from scientific studies to attempt to predict the size of a man’s penis, according to Huffington Post.

Interestingly, Predicktor creator Dr. Chris Culligan says that studies have shown that gay men have longer and thicker genitalia than heterosexual men, on average.

“Gay pride just got a little prouder,” Culligan said in an interview with Huffington Post.

While downloading and testing this app might sound like a fun night out at the bar, how much influence does penis size and body image really have when we search for a sexual or romantic partner?

According to Charles Martinez, a gay Denver man, judging a book by its cover is never an option.

“I don’t think body type necessarily translates into penis size,” Martinez said – and size is something he doesn’t take much into account anyway.

“I don’t let the size of a guy’s penis affect whether or not I want to be in a relationship with him, especially if I really like him,” Martinez said.

Danny Rice, a gay man living in the Westminster area, also agrees that penis size is never an initial factor when considering getting involved with a man.

“When I first meet a guy, I don’t meet his penis first. That comes after,” Rice said. “So if I’m physically attracted to a guy, it doesn’t matter. There is so much more to sex than the size of guy’s dick.”

While it seems that men aren’t primarily concerned with the size of a prospective partner’s 60

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penis, they do still appear to suffer from insecurities about their own.

Martinez said that he’s never concerned himself a great deal about the exact size of his package, but that he’s noticed that most of the men he’s been with have been bigger than him.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight, any guy is going to be at least a little curious about the size of his own dick and where he stacks up compared to other guys,” Rice said. “We may not voice them, but we all have insecurities.”

Rice said that no matter how confident one may appear to be, everyone has insecurities about his or her body (and penis) image.

This translates well into a conversation about women, as well. According to a recent study done by researchers at Rutgers University, women in same-sex relationships experience the same weight concerns as women in heterosexual relationships.

“Weight Disparities Between Female Same-Sex Romantic Partners and Weight Concerns: Examining Partner Comparison,” which will soon be published in Psychology of Women Quarterly, demonstrates that women in relationships, regardless of if the partner is a man or a woman, are experiencing concerns about their own weight, but not quite as much when surveyed regarding their relational satisfaction and views on their partner’s body.

Weight and body image issues exist for both sexes, but do women experience and suffer from certain anatomical size concerns, as well? Say, for example, with breasts?

Miranda Garcia, a bisexual woman, said that breast size doesn’t necessarily hold the same value as penis size for women in same-sex relationships.

“The size of a woman’s breasts don’t define her in the same way that a penis often defines a man,” Garcia said. “I think women take pride in their bodies in a way that men don’t, and that doesn’t necessarily mean for one part of their body over another.”

After conducting interviews with several people and doing research on the subject, it’s clear that body insecurities are prominent with both men and women in heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and many other types of relationships. However, maybe the myth has been busted – size doesn’t necessarily matter when choosing a sexual partner – the biggest role it plays is the way we critique ourselves.

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Hi Three is Company – While leather harnesses for strap on use can be super sexy, they can’t be sterilized. This means that unless all three of you have been tested for sexually transmitted infections and have decided to become fluid bound (not exchanging bodily fluids with anyone outside the three of you), you’re going to need to pick up a second harness. Leather can be cleaned and conditioned, but it’s porous. There is no way to completely clean it so that you can be sure there will be no chance of any type of transmission, which includes moving a UTI or yeast infection from one partner to another.

If you want one harness you can use with both partners, a vinyl harness (like those sold by Aslan Leather) is a great option – you can just wipe it down with a bleach cleaning solution. Another great idea is any of the harnesses from Spareparts Hardwear – you can actually machine wash them, and they are super comfy, made of a material similar to swimsuits. A cheaper option is the nylon harnesses made by companies like Sportsheets – they won’t last as long but are also machine– washable.

While you certainly have the option of getting just one high quality silicone dildo you can sterilize in between uses, I highly suggest letting each of your partners pick out their own toy. They may have different wants and needs and it’s a nice separation for them each to have a toy that is specifically theirs. Plus, in case there’s ever a breakup you won’t wind up losing your favorite sex toy!

Enjoy your new toys!

Shanna

Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna?

Email shanna@outfrontonline.com.com.

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a Colorado native, fierce femme and board certified sexologist. She believes strongly in open source, accessible sexuality education, and loves teaching adults how to optimize their sex lives. r For more info, please visit www.

ShannaKatz.com.

HEINZESIGHT

A few clues about social cues

d DEAR BRENT,

I HAVE A HARD TIME READING IF SOMEONE IS CHECKING ME OUT OR WANTS TO COME UP TO TALK. I’M ALSO REALLY BAD ABOUT KNOWING IF I’M ANNOYING SOMEONE BY TALKING TO THEM OR IF THEY ARE EVEN INTERESTED IN TALKING TO ME. IT FEELS LIKE THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I’M IN A FOREIGN ENVIRONMENT WHERE I DON’T KNOW OR UNDERSTAND THE CULTURE OR SOCIAL RULES.

I think reading social cues is one of the most complicated things for a person to develop. You have to put out your own intentions to people, interpret the interests of others, decide if you want to engage that person, and then figure out the most effective way to interact. You can spend a lifetime and read lots of literature learning suggestions about how to read body language, flirt, have small talk, and hopefully make a great connection with someone.

Here are a few of the most helpful ones that have worked for me.

The first step is to figure out if there is a potential interest from the subject of your affection – you already know you’re interested, but is the other person? Observe eye contact – shooting a simple smile and good eye contact can signal interest, but the other person may give you a quick head nod and a grin. This may show that your message has been received and accepted, but could also mean the person only saw your passing glance and not pick up your

for social success, but interest. So many variyou can watch body ables, right? You may language, approaching have to engage people methods, and physical to know how they feel contact style of other about talking to you. people that you want My next suggesto try. Then you can tion would be to ditch attempt the ones you your “end goal” and think could be effective just enjoy interactfor you during your ing and hanging out own interactions. There with someone. If you Brent Heinze is nothing wrong with are singularly focused on getting laid or gaining a great using techniques that have already partner, there is an increased pos- been proven effective by others.

I think one of the main problems sibility that you will come across as desperate, awkward or pushy. It with trying to figure out social cues also may stop you from picking up is that our own insecurities or on signals from the other person – feelings of awkwardness taint our instead setting yourself up to try to perceptions. They may convince achieve your goal at any cost and us that we are too weird or differbowl over anything your unsus- ent from what the other person is pecting target may want. Not only looking for. Remember – we are not does it disrupt your interaction, but psychic and don’t necessarily know you also risk feeling like a failure if others are thinking. Don’t use this as an excuse for not practicing your you can’t seal the deal.

My last suggestion is to open social skills. your eyes and take some time to observe others. This is how we Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed learn about the world around us. professional counselor. r Email him There is no magic social formula at PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

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