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VOL. XXXVII ISSUE #5 June 5, 2013 t

t

CONTENTS COVER STORY: expressions

d inside: 2013 PRIDE GUIDE

SO LIV FO CUS CIAL ING 10 Letter From The Editor 12 Speak Out 14 News 16 Panel Voices 17 Show & Tell 20 Bleed Like Me

28 30 34 32 37 40

Food For Thought High Society On The Scene Bar Rag Bar Map Queer Marriage

46 Thrive 48 Gay Aesthetic 51 Sports 52 Big Toys 58 Sexuality 60 HeinzeSight

About the contributors:

yHans

Rosemond has been an active magazine photographer for the last seven years. He enjoys all things film – from The Lord of The Rings to Dumb and Dumber.

The only thing better than a good movie is making the subjects in front of his camera look and feel like rock stars. Hans is especially excited to see the ongoing struggle for marriage equality finally making progress.

See more at HansRosemond.com. Hans’ photography is on the cover of this issue, and inside on pages 22-27.

y Laurie Maves, featured in this issue’s cover story

(p. 22) lent her warehouse–style but intimate studio in West Denver – new to her this year – to Out Front’s photo shoot with visions of turning it into a place that supports her community.

“It’s my office on a daily basis,” she said, “and a place for people to meet and find out what I’m about. I’ve been looking for something like that for a long time – it’s a private space but I have a feeling that it’s going to be serving the community in a creative way.” To see more about Laurie’s art and studio, visit www.LaurieMavesArt.com.

Cover photography by Hans Rosemond // www.HansRosemond.com 8

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Outfrontonline.com

Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO Out Front Colorado is published by Transformation Communications Group, LLC, a Colorado limited liability corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle.

PHIL PRICE / Founder, 1954-1993 JERRY CUNNINGHAM / Publisher Email: Jerry@outfrontonline.com J.C. MCDONALD / Vice President / Director of Circulation Email: JC@outfrontonline.com NIC GARCIA / Associate Publisher Email: Nic@outfrontonline.com JEFF JACKSON SWAIM / Chief Strategist Email: Jeff@outfrontonline.com

EDITORIAL HOLLY HATCH / Editor-in-Chief Email: Holly@outfrontonline.com MATTHEW PIZZUTI / Junior Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com KRISTIN ZIEGLER, ALEX MEYER / Editorial interns CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Brent Heinze, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Scott McGlothlen, Jeff Steen, Josiah Hesse, Gary Kramer, Mike Yost, Ashley Trego, Nuclia Waste, David Marlowe, Jonathan McGrew, Chris Azzopardi, Shanna Katz, Noelle Leavitt Riley, Amy Lynn O’Connell, Kristin Ziegler, Steve Cruz, Jasmine Peters, Lauren Archuletta.

ART SARA DECKER / Creative Director Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com DENEE PINO / Production Assistant CHARLES BROSHOUS / Photographer

MARKETING / SALES JORDAN JACOBS / Marketing Executive Email: Jordan@outfrontonline.com ROB BARGER / Marketing Coordinator Email: Rob@outfrontonline.com

DISTRIBUTION: Out Front Colorado’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front Colorado may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front Colorado offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front Colorado is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front Colorado, take more than one copy of Out Front Colorado.

Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY: Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited.

Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT COLORADO, its staff or advertisers.

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FROM THE EdITOR

A quotable community

creating pride within our individual mantras, differences and expressions Some see Pride celebrations as political events, tracing them to their historic roots as Stonewall–era protests. Others see Pride as a their best chance of the year to let loose, dress up, party and dance. But across the range one element holds, not just for LGBT people but for all humans: Pride is about being able to express who we are.

Our community, full of unique beauty and diversity, has fought its greatest battles against being silenced. We were a silenced society, by prejudice, by politics and by ourselves through fear of coming out. At Out Front we’ve been bustling to prepare two issues that are full of what we see as the antidote to that – stories about expressions. They include the messages in our Special Edition cover feature – chosen by the community from a collection of statements by the community, for the community – to the expressions of individuality showcased in this issue’s photo essay on page 22.

We’re reminded that every person has a different way of making herself feel valuable, important, beautiful and unique. Being allowed to do that transforms us, and in turn creates our foundation to take part in something greater.

Working with these stories, and the people in them, transformed me, too, in ways that caught me off guard.

Lonnell Callum – Mr. Leather Colorado 2013 and featured in the photo essay – has a Zen–like presence and a deep, wise humility that surprised my notion of what the kink community is about. Lonnell revealed himself to me as a kindred sprit; someone who I have since learned some valuable points of self-reflection from.

Local lesbian mom Debbie Scheer, with her incredibly open, warm, playful and light-hearted energy, taught me that it’s never too late to grow into who you are.

Through these and many more interactions, I’ve re–learned what my individual purpose in the community is, and what Out Front’s purpose is: To connect the community through the celebration of our differences. We do this through sharing our stories, building ourselves up from the inside out, and learning to find beauty in those we think we wouldn’t be able to relate to or understand.

As a crew, Out Front celebrated the start of the summer together at the Climax Rooftop party at Vinyl over Memorial Day weekend. Wandering around the rooftop, bouncing in and out of different groups, I allowed the conversations of the night and the colors of the sunset to soak in.

The orange and purple hues from the sunset melted across the tops of the Rocky Mountain peaks, breathing the most perfect glow to the crowded rooftop; infiltrating the dancers, minglers, drinkers and pockets of friends with an overlay of excitement for the summer. I spent the night talking to people, and listening to their stories.

Alba Avella, a yoga and dance instructor, animal lover, free spirit and subject in this issue’s photo essay cover story, mentioned that the crowd on this particular night was filled with what yoga teachers often refer to as the abundance of fire in the ‘Pitta Dosha’, consuming people’s minds and bodies with summertime heat. She noted that it is this heat, which if balanced correctly, could fuel change, power and energy into our lives and bodies.

Jennifer Schumacher, a local trainer and co–owner of the barefoot fitness studio, WillPower, stopped a group of friends mid–conversation, urging them to look over at the sunset glowing over the mountains. “Take that energy and that light, that inspiration and color, and bring it in to let it move you,” she said in her motivational tone. “The word of the week is ‘achieve,’ achieve the power and strength inside of you, guys, bring it in!”

Tiffanie Meehling, part-time bartender at Blush & Blu and full–time elementary school teacher commented on the packed late night crowds as a sociological construction: “People have FOMO,” she said, “Fear-Of-Missing-Out. That’s why everyone has to be here among the drunken staggerers and debauchery. People are scared that if they don’t stay, or didn’t show up, they’d be missing out.”

The reason we build communities, the reason we band together for a particular humanitarian cause, the reason we attend faith–based groups and churches, the reason we go to Charlie’s or Blush & Blu or the reason we still like to be valued 10

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as individuals, is because we hope to both be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We form community through our differences, eccentricities and uniqueness.

We yearn to connect to something larger than our individual egos – yet we express our need to be a part of something, individually, by making us recognizable parts of different sub-cultures or social movements. Our expressions are manifested through our clothes or physical style, our ways of talking and listening, or within the types of various activities we engage in.

Each individual is a different piece of the mosaic, or a different weaver in the universal web. We offer new perspectives, fabulous trends, and various parts of practicing our passions.

My partner, Jody Bouffard, has instilled a sense of community into me, in a way I didn’t know existed. For the past year, working with her as the co-owner of her established lesbian bar, has not only satisfied my passion for entrepreneurship, has not only cloaked me in love and adoration – she tells me every morning in my disheveled state that I’m beautiful and follows it with “Someday, I’m gonna marry you, Holly Hatch,”– nor just the physical attraction factor (I’m a sucker for tattoo sleeves and a mysterious façade) but she has also taught me that nobody can do it alone.

“It takes a village, people,” is a phrase she walks around living, and saying, reminding me – and others who sometimes feel like an after-thought in the community – that none of us search alone. We are successful because of the people we bring into our lives; we are enriched by success if we band together in our creation of a community.

This issue is our way of celebrating the community’s unique differences, but it also serves to connect us to different people, in new mysterious ways.

Joshua Hunt, a local gay entrepreneur and company coach who has been working with the staff at Out Front has challenged the staff to reach beyond our comfort zones and find new ways of connecting to folks we don’t understand or struggle with. And I am continuing this challenge, both to myself and to you, the reader: Take time during the crazy summer Pride season to think about new ways of connecting. Talk to someone who does something you don’t understand, or dresses in a way you are distracted by, or invite someone from the community out for a latte to discover what their story is, what drives them, and how you might connect to them after dismissing our stereotypical notions of cliques, groups, or who someone is.

In the words of Out Front publisher Jerry Cunningham: “First seek to understand, then to be understood.” We are capable of big, momentous changes, friends. Let’s continue to celebrate that far after Pride season is over.

Holly Hatch – Editor-in-Chief

CONNECT WITH HOLLY

reach editor-in-chief Holly Hatch by email at editorial@outfrontonline.com, or friend her on facebook.com/HollyAmberHatch.

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SpEAKOUT

Prejudice in our own community

By Julia Hatch

Being trans, the one prejudice I feel the need to address is cissexism.

That is the belief that the gender identities of transpeople are less real or less legitimate than those of cispeople (those whose sexual identity is in alignment with their bodies and the gender they were assigned at birth).

w Prejudice exists outside the LGBTQ community and within our ranks; no sub–grouping is immune.

Some gays and lesbians hold prejudices against bisexuals; some trans people are prejudiced against people who identify themselves as gender queer. All of us are vulnerable.

Being trans, the one prejudice I feel the need to address is cissexism. That is the belief that the gender identities of transpeople are less real or less legitimate than those of cispeople (those whose sexual identity is in alignment with their bodies and the gender they were assigned at birth).

It was within the LGB community that I first felt anything like acceptance for who I was as a trans person, but cissexism can be experienced in many ways.

For instance, a straight ciswoman may feel she’s being accepting and supportive when she compliments us on our courage to transition, but then might feel threatened at the thought of sharing a public women’s locker room or shower with a post–op trans woman, or be frightened at the thought of her son dating a trans woman. In other words, trans women are fine at a distance but become a threat when they assert their equality as women.

Because my identity is female, I present myself online as female. As such I’m able to meet a lot of cislesbians, in places like Second Life, dating websites or in chat rooms.

In conversation we get along great. They laugh at my jokes and they show genuine interest in me and what I have to say. When I show them my real life portrait, they tell me how beautiful I am. It’s when they want to meet me in person that I disclose that I’m transsexual. Sadly, in most cases, the women shut off contact completely.

When I was using the dating site eHarmony, I had one lesbian write me enthusiastically saying she wanted to skip the usual format of the site and communicate directly. We had a lively back forth conversation where she said she wanted to meet in person. To be careful, I asked if she’d read my profile close enough to pick up on the fact that I’d stated clearly that I was a post op transsexual. I never heard from her again. I’d even stated in my last email to her that if she had concerns about dating a transsexual that perhaps we could stay in contact to just be friends. Not even this warranted a response.

The only explanation I’ve heard from women who do this is that they feel I’m being deceptive and dishonest – the assumption is that I’m presenting myself in a way that’s not genuine, as if I’m just pretending to be a woman. As a trans person, nothing could be further from the truth. Online or in person, how I present myself is the most sincere and honest expression of who I am.

These women may find some personal justification for creating this social hierarchy but it’s really no different than hierarchies imposed by race or sexual orientation. What seems like a natural impulse that initially feels justified, can sometimes turn out to be bigoted reactions based on unexamined assumptions about other people.

Hopefully we can all learn to examine our assumptions about others in a way that creates more unity among people inside and outside the LGBTQ community.

Julia Hatch is a transwoman, photographer and therapist who lives in Boulder.

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News

Grand Junction’s inaugural Pride Western Colorado and Eastern Utah communities come together at May 19 event

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he sun burned brightly as out Colorado State Rep. Paul Rosenthal – Grand Marshal of Grand Junction’s first-ever Pride parade May 19 – rolled down Main Street, waving to the crowd in his cowboy hat. More than a dozen organizations marched behind, including One Colorado, the West Colorado AIDS Project, Moab Pride and the Colorado Mesa Gay–Straight Alliance.

“Here in Grand Junction, the community is starting to pull together,” said Mark Mathews, Cofounder of Colorado West Pride who helped organize the event, which took place in the hub of one of the most conservative regions of the state and a 30-minute drive from the state border with Utah.

“They feel it’s about time that the organizations are more visible than they were before.”

Parade watchers lined the sidewalks, clapping, cheering and waving rainbow flags as the parade turned up 6th Street, ending at Grand Junction’s Old Courthouse.

Participants then funneled into a

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Street Fair populated with over twenty vendors, many of them straight allies.

Jesse A. Daniels, also Co–founder and Events Coordinator of Colorado West Pride, has lived in Grand Junction most of his life. “People are definitely becoming more accepting,” he said. “It’s definitely grown a lot, and it’s continuing to grow pretty quickly, especially with Colorado Mesa University (CMU).

Just the diversity of the students has grown immensely.” CMU recently transitioned from college to university status, with almost 1,000 students graduating this May. Daniels and Mathews also organized a series of celebratory events before the Parade, including a production of the play <Torch Song Trilogy> at Colorado Mesa University, a drag queen celebration at the local Mesa Theater, and a white party on Saturday night – all leading up to the Pride Parade and street fair on Sunday.

“It’s sort of like giving hope back to the community,” said Mathews, who moved to Grand Junction from New York City seven years ago. “EvFOCUS

erybody can come together and be part of something and be proud of their group.”

Colorado West Pride works with its sister organization, Moab Pride based across the state line in Moab, Utah, to support the local communities in both states. “We had visited Moab Pride and their first Pride Festival,” said Daniels. “We were super impressed and realized that if they could pull off a great festival, we could too.”

Parade watchers gathered in the shade along Main Street for the Parade to begin.

“I remember going to the gay pride picnics 15 years ago with four people,” said Silvia Bowersox, who has been a resident of Grand Junction for 25 years. “They’ve always done that here, but there hasn’t been a lot of support. So, I’m really excited to see this. I hope that we get a lot of support so we can continue it.”

Jen Mayo and Ilea Kelly drove up from Delta, Colorado, about 40 miles southeast of Grand Junction.

“It’s nice to see so many people come out and support,” said Mayo.

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By MIKE YOST

“We’re seeing a lot of straight allies out here today, too, which is great.”

Tom Levalley grew up in Grand Junction, running a local business for 19 years. “You couldn’t really be open. We’re glad to see it [the Pride Parade] here, and hopefully more people will start tuning into it.”

Ron Zotto operated one of the only gay bars in Grand Junction for 4 years. Though he was forced to close the establishment, Zotto commented attitudes regarding LGBT rights are changing. “I though many years ago that, in my lifetime, I would never see marriage or civil unions.”

Zotto and his partner David Smith have been together for 30 years. They were one of the first couples in the county to apply for a civil union license on May 1 – the first day the Civil Unions Act became law.

“It is getting better, but it’s the young generation that’s making the changes as far as I’m concerned,” said Zotto. “I’ve got a 19-year-old grandson, and I told him and all of his friends – you guys are the ones who made the change.”

It was a recurring theme that the younger generation of voters contributed largely to the paradigm shift in the community regarding LGBT support. Daniels and Mathews hope to capitalize on the growing support by establishing a community center in Grand Junction. “Our objective to have a pride center hopefully within the next year to two years,” said Daniels.

Colorado West Pride also has plans to organize a gay film festival and a prom later this year, and plans to participate in Pride Festivals in Delta, Colorado and Moab, Utah later this summer.

“This whole things a little surreal,” said Mathews, “because it’s all coming together.”

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Updates and information on Colorado West Pride’s upcoming events can be found on their Facebook page: Facebook.com/ CoWestPride.

OBITUARY

Sean Wolfe:

an author, activist, educator, and cherished friend lived his passion

By Kristin Ziegler Denver lost a treasured member of its LGBTQ community and a dedicated HIV/AIDS activist and educator in the passing of Sean Wolfe.

Wolfe died suddenly and unexpectedly Friday, April 26, less than one week before his latest project, a local stage production of the beloved gay-comingof age play and film Beautiful Thing, was set to debut. Wolfe served as the co-producer.

Beautiful Thing was one of many projects Wolfe passionately undertook for our community. At the time of his passing, he worked as the program manager for The Denver ELEMENT. The Denver ELEMENT seeks to promote both health and happiness among Denver’s gay and bisexual male population through programming that supports “mental, physical, and social wellbeing.” This was a cause so dear to Wolfe’s heart.

Colleague and friend Brent Heinze said of Sean, “[He was...] dedicated to helping build a stronger, healthier, and more empowered gay male community in Denver.”

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Indeed, Wolfe spent 18 years advocating for marginalized groups around the city and 15 years working specifically in HIV/AIDS education and prevention.

Wolfe was also a several-times published author.

Always sex-positive, his books center around male fantasy and sexual pleasure. Many of his erotica titles are available through major book retailers, including Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

An intimate memorial service was held for Wolfe on Saturday, May 4. Nearly 75 of his closest friends and family members attended to pay their respects, though Wolfe touched so many more lives with his dedication to community outreach and his compassion.

For those interested in giving back to a man who gave so much to Denver’s LGBTQ community, a memorial fund has been set up in his honor.

To donate to the Sean Wolfe Memorial Fund, please send a check to Mile High Council- Element, 655 Broadway Suite 200 Denver, CO 80203.

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PANEL

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Hunter Down and Lottie Dah are the owners and producers of Tranzcend and Sapphic Sirens. Catch them monthly at Blush & Blu.

I think Pride is a hot mess sometimes with all those people swarming in the heat wearing outrageous outfits (or almost nothing at all). I can’t help but think the whole thing is off-putting to the rest of the world and misrepresents our community.

My concern is about what it says about us as a community. Pride is about throwing the doors to the community wide open and letting everyone in to celebrate themselves and each other. Doors wide open means everyone is welcome.

There may be parts of the experience I don’t like. Maybe the Cycle Sluts are not my cup of tea or that guy in the dog collar with the vest is too real for me. I have no more right to be present than anyone else.

But I get to bring myself and join the visual conversation.

You, me, that girl with the cat ears and tail, and the husband and wife with the two kids, we are all part of this.

After last year’s Pride I had to stop for a minute and consider. I realized that there is a reason this celebration is growing. I realized that folks come from all the rectangle states and beyond to attend. Pride draws them to Denver. People who need a place to belong know they can find that place here. I cannot think of a better way for our community to be represented than that.

Pieter Tolsma

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Iowa native George K. Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.

For us, Pride is a fantastic representation of our community.

For two days of the year, we can wrap ourselves in rainbow flags and expose ourselves to the world without fear because we are surrounded by thousands of our brothers and sisters. We are free to be proud of who, and what we are. We see people and parts of our community that we would otherwise miss. I applaud the organizers of Pride for working so diligently to provide voice to all facets of our vast and beautiful community.

However, I think we, as a community, have lost sight of the true meaning of LGBTQ month. We should pause and reflect on the pioneers who began the struggle for equality on June 28th on Christopher St. We should give thanks to those who have continued to fight.

Further, I think the media, particularly the mainstream media, has failed the LGBTQ Community.

Media coverage tends to focus more on the festivities of one two-day event and less on the reason for Gay Pride month. The images most often shown are garish and flamboyant.

Rarely is there coverage on the youth services or family resources. In a community struggling for equality, acceptance and recognized legitimacy, it is important that people can look at us as individuals and see their neighbors, siblings and friends. Only then will we achieve true equality.

Hunter Down & Lottie Dah

DJ Kelly Sinna-G is a full-time DJ who has lived in Denver since October, 2010. r Visit her music page on Facebook.com/DjSinnaG4.

Does it represent … twinks and bears and shaved and smooth and hairybacked and leather fans? … lipstick and butch lesbians? … Harley riders? … the feminine and swishy? … the tattooed and pierced? … liberals, moderates, and conservatives? … the Speedo and underwear set and the suit and tie crowd? … drag queens and kings? … the down low, closeted, bi, and afraid? …those HIV positive and negative? … foodies, vegetarians, the beer busters, and the tea totallers? … the bath house crowd? … the faithfully coupled and the completely slutty? … the religious and the irreligious? …

Gleeks and NASCAR fans? … people dressed (or barely so) in all colors of the rainbow? … porn lovers and prudes? … people who party and those who would never consider it? … the partnered and the lonely and looking? … meth heads and the drug-free? … virgins and whores? … swimmers, bike riders, runners, skiers, and snowboarders? … the vocal and the quiet? … couples with kids? … the disabled? … Denver Post photographers looking for something outrageous? … doctors, and lawyers, and bears … oh my! … Denver PrideFest is filled with normal Americans and citizens of the world. It represents the community completely.

George K. Gramer, Jr.

DJ Kelly Sinna-G

Since my arrival in Denver just over two years ago, I have had the opportunity to be involved in PrideFest twice.

What I have seen and personally experienced is that it is a phenomenal representation of the community as a whole.

Take the park, for just one example. It is such a moving thing to see not only young, but old, gay and straight standing in support of a movement. I am still hopeful that time is moving us all forward where places will no longer be labeled as ‘gay’ or ‘straight.’ That it will just be a place to meet; a place to hang out and socialize; a place not labeled as ‘gay’ or ‘straight’, it will just be the place to be ourselves.

Denver’s PrideFest is a wonderful representation of that. No where else can you see such diversity or overwhelming energy!

I am personally experiencing, year after year, that acceptance of the LGBT community is being embraced by all forms of media as well. There will always be those in attendance that are hate-filled and have to speak their mind, but those in support of who we are as human beings far out weigh those that don’t.

It’s such a promising time; a time for growth and love. I feel that Denver PrideFest showcases this on so many levels and I’m so proud and honored to be a part of it!

How well does Pride represent our community?

Pieter Tolsma is a graduate student at the University of Colorado Denver.

He is also program coordinator of Denver PIQUE, a program for gay/bi young men in Denver.

Interested in becoming one of the voices on Out Front’s panel?

Contact the editorial department by email at editorial@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 711 to be considered!

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SHOW & TELL

A tale of two unions

Local couples were first in line to receive a civil union license Marsha H offman a nd Emily ing a Colo Brooks w rado civil ere couple union lice Texas yea number 6 n se May 1. rs ago, rece 9 receivThe two w ntly recon – featured ere acqua nected in in Out Fro in tances in C o lo nt’s “Single rado, and ready for fell fast. H and Look she and h offman ing” cover er partner story in Ju to Texas tw ne 2012, is o step tog ether into tomorrow .

by Charles Broshous

Bob Photo by Krugmire

Photo by C harles Brosh ous

les to t six coup of the firs e n o ilding u re B e b n Web to estman w g W in ll id e v a W nd D ut 1 at the Aragon a Connectic rado May Anthony married in se in Colo o n Their h . ce w te li – a n st rs io un ir home of 16 yea e le th p get a civil in u co in l a ge ag The socia e the plun ancock. in Denver.

Michael H pted to tak o r o – y o a g a M r rs e v three yea ted by Den was officia ceremony

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out in colorado

The Alexander Foundation prepares for Spring fundraiser ... the foundation has donated more than two million dollars to those in need. The nonprofit provides financial assistance to LGBT individuals for purposes such as higher education, temporary life challenges, and chronic or life– threatening illnesses.

Even as the bitter reminders of winter continue in the Mile High City much longer than usual (trees only just leafing out in mid–May!), one springtime tradition will mark when the season has finally come: The Alexander Foundation’s annual Spring Fling fundraiser on Friday, June 7.

In its 32nd year, the Spring Fling is by far the largest annual fundraiser for the Alexander Foundation, which has been serving the LGBT community of Denver since 1981. In that time, the foundation has donated more than two million dollars to those in need. The nonprofit provides financial assistance to LGBT individuals for purposes such as higher education, temporary life challenges, and chronic or life–threatening illnesses.

The foundation relies primarily on small donations, much like those generated by the Spring Fling.

“This is by far the largest fundraiser for our organization,” said Jeffery Hoyle, communications director for the foundation.

“We really rely on those in our community to support this event so that we are able to continue doing what we do.”

Over the years, the fundraiser has become a well-known event, and this year organizers seek to bring it back to its glory days.

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“We really want to restore the glamour that the event has become known for in the past,” said Hoyle. “This year we are really taking it up a notch.”

Glitz aside, organizers still focus on what really matters: “The majority of the event is currently being underwritten, and in the upcoming weeks we are going to work even harder to say that we are completely and 100 percent covered,” Hoyle said. “It is really important to us that the money we are raising through ticket sales is getting to the people who need it most.”

The foundation acknowledges that it can be hard for some to donate, and even those who can’t attend can still donate any amount. “Our fundraising doesn’t end with just this event. This is something we are committed to all year long,” Hoyle said.

The Spring Fling will be held from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at the Children’s Hospital Colorado Designer Show House at 919 Vine Street, adjacent to Congress Park. The event will consist of a cocktail and appetizer reception, as well as a silent auction featuring artwork from local artists.

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By Alex Meyer

Tickets are $85, $35 for students, and can be purchased online, at wepay.com/events/SpringFling.

out in colorado

Champion of HIV awareness Denver native Mondo Guerra was this year’s spokesperson for the annual Dining Out for Life held on April 25, working to raise funds and educating the public on the issues surrounding HIV/AIDS

By Mike Yost Bright sunlight flooded the dining room at Panzano Restaurant and Lounge in Downtown Denver as Mondo Guerra shared his story of disclosing his HIV status on reality TV show Project Runway in 2010.

“I was really given my life back, and I wasn’t afraid anymore,” Guerra said.

With his mother sitting next to him, Guerra reflected on how apprehensive he was about his family’s reaction to the news. “There was no easy way to put it out there. So, I looked at my mom and I told her, I’ve been positive for ten years, and you’re going to see that on Thursday’s episode.”

Guerra held back a few tears as he continued. “She looked at me, she said, ‘I know.’ And then she said, ‘I’m really proud of you.’”

After coming out as HIV positive, Guerra starred two years later in Project Runway All Stars. He won the competition, garnering an exclusive collection at Neiman Marcus available later this year.

Guerra has used his accomplishments as a fashion designer to be an advocate for those diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. “Because we still have this stigma,” he said, “these derogatory words that we use against people living with HIV.” Guerra became the face for this year’s Dining Out for Life. More than 90,000 restaurants nationwide participated in the 22 year-old event, donating 25 percent of their sales to local organizations that support people coping with HIV/AIDS and other life–threatening illnesses.

“I’m so excited to be part of the campaign and the fundraiser,” Guerra said. “I’m honored that they asked me.”

In addition to fundraising and sharing his story, Guerra also designed the official t-shirt for the 2013 DOFL event, the proceeds of which go to HIV/ AIDS service organizations throughout the county.

“When I was diagnosed with HIV,

I thought that it was the end for me,” Guerra said. “Once I accepted it and allowed it to be a part of me and not define me, when I let go and was able to talk about it, it would not only empower me but empower people who might not be able to talk about it.”

Almost 300 restaurants in Colorado, including Panzano, participated in this year’s DOFL, raising funds for the Denver–based nonprofit Project Angel Heart. “All the money that we raise tonight stays in our city, and that’s so important,” said Guerra.

In 2012, Project Angel Heart delivered almost half a million healthy meals to thousands of people in the Denver and Colorado Springs area living with life–threatening illnesses, including HIV/AIDS. “I’ve known about Project Angel Heart. I actually went to Dining Out for Life for the first time about seven years ago,” said Guerra.

He hopes his involvement and candor as an HIV positive spokesperson will foster constructive dialogue.

“That’s what is important about this fundraiser. It is an opportunity to have a conversation about HIV/AIDS. That’s how we’re going to see the end to the disease.”

According to the Center for Disease Control, there are more than one million Americans living with HIV, with one in five unaware that they are infected. The CDC also estimated that every 9.5 minutes, one person in the U.S. becomes infected with HIV. Guerra hopes to diminish those numbers through his involvement in DOFL and the national HIV education campaign, I Design, which encourages those living with HIV to talk with their doctors to tailor their treatments.

“This has been an amazing journey for me,” Guerra told the dining room of supporters, family members and reporters. “Everybody has a story. Everybody has a journey, and that story has so much power. So, share your story, have this conversation. I want you to leave this table today and talk about what you experienced.”

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bleed liKe Me

Alcohol, the antagonist the clothes strewn around the floor. I this time one I couldn’t laugh off.

Lady liquor makes me a hot mess: time I continued to beat myself up long after the searched pockets for the little pink pill and time again, alcohol has proven to that had become part of my daily routine hangover was gone. My track record for total adherbe too good a friend, by making me – and indeed, to my dismay, it was there. ence went down the toilet and I couldn’t stop thinking too friendly to be good. I gave it up on I searched my memory for the moment that my night of drinking cost me the benefit of some my own account, hoping to stop acting I’d fucked up: My evening cell phone of the best medication that exists today. like the loud, gay fratboy who shouts at As it turns out, I wasn’t alone. Several of my poz reminder had gone off like always, but people to take their clothes off – but I’d this time I was distracted and switched it comrades had already been through this, many on still occasionally need a reminder. their second or third rounds with meds because of off without taking the pill.

After my HIV diagnosis, I didn’t know As an HIV positive person, the single slipups under the influence. I couldn’t believe that if I would get the chance to let my intoxino one talked about this most important cated alter ego out of his cage anymore. I before. If a split second thing I do, not worried that alcohol could counteract the Scott McGlothlen ‘‘ memory lapse can lead only for myself medications. The doctor assured me that ... the single most important to such a detrimental it wouldn’t, but also gave me reasons to love my liver but for those around me, thing I do, not only for myself outcome, I had to wonder is take that pill. Perhaps and not give it a liquid beating. if the alcohol was ever Eventually there was an evening in which I let it the alcohol doesn’t counbut for those around me, is take even worth it for any of us. rip once again. Vodka gladly reunited with my lips, teract drugs, but it counthat pill. Perhaps the alcohol After a few months of and proved you can indeed return to being a light- teracted my commitment doesn’t counteract drugs, but it paranoia, I went back in weight. I made approximately 132 new friends and to take them, which is just counteracted my commitment to the doctor to see if my managed to forget all of their names. My partner as bad if not worse. to take them, which is just as virus was still in check. I The medicine I use safely got me home just in time for me to curl up in bad if not worse. remained undetectable, has a 95 percent adhera puddle of drool. the meds still fully effecIn the morning, the hangover took its toll – worse ence rate, meaning the than any hangover I’d had. To make it worse, my virus can adapt if more than 5 percent of doses tive. But I may not have been so lucky if I drank cell phone alarm buzzed through my aching head, are skipped, which in turn would mean the drug more often. Though alcohol didn’t counteract my morning reminder to take my medications. I could stop working for me. That’s why I used my the medication, it’s an antagonist of my ability to tapped the screen to make it stop, and then suddenly phone alarm in the first place – my life depended take them on time. on it. So as I crawled back into bed, I felt a new realized – I hadn’t taken my meds the night before!

I jumped out of bed to find my pants among kind of regret in my adventures with alcohol, r Email Scott at BleedLikeMe@gmail.com.

d

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Lesbian socialite

Words: Say it like you mean it

Robyn VieCarpenter r Follow Robyn on Twitter @The LesSocialite

Words have meaning, not to be confused with intent.

I often find myself in hot water because I take people at their words, when often that’s not what they meant.

The phrase “say what you mean and mean what you say?” couldn’t be more true.

I have a confession: I love words. Words are fun.

In my family, a lot of the games we played were word games; Scrabble and Boggle were two of our favorites and the car we’d make up tongue twisters.

I love words about words – onomatopoeia is one of my favorites. I love the words it refers to because they’re fun to say: buzz, moo, etc. And I like saying onomatopoeia.

I love the idea of being able to say something several different ways just by changing the words that you use. Susan sat slovenly sideways, sipping said soda, surreptitiously squinting, scrutinizing Sarah’s strength, stamina.

Supporters seemed sublimely self-absorbed, since sporting started. Come on, you gotta admit that’s a lot more fun than “Susan lounged in her chair drinking a soda while she watched Sarah compete.

Onlookers seemed thankfully in their own head since the game started.”

Words have meaning, not to be confused with intent. I often find myself in hot water because I take people at their words, when often that’s not what they meant. The phrase “say what you mean and mean what you say?” couldn’t be more true.

Women fall into this trap often. I think it is because we are often socialized to only say “nice” things and get called a “bitch” if we say exactly what we mean. I think this is because we fail to use all of the words available – we can say exactly what we mean without being mean or hateful if we bone up on our vocabularies.

Words are continually changing. Take idioms: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Who says that anymore? Some

stand the test of time: “a chip on your shoulder,” “a dime a dozen,” “a drop in the bucket.” You know exactly what I’m saying when I use these phrases.

Now, let’s take the word “family.” They other day, my niece posted something on Facebook about Audra McDonald. For those of you that don’t know, she’s family. When I used it as a comment on my niece’s post, she thought I meant we were related. I forget that straight people don’t always know what we’re talking about. “Twink,” “gender non-conforming,” “pansexual,” “lesbian– identified bisexual,” there are just so many words about how we define ourselves that it’s no wonder straight people can’t keep up.

Here’s are some of my favorite words – you won’t find them all in the dictionary.

Craptastic: one of the most descriptive words I’ve heard. Asshat: makes me giggle every time.

Douche: not a verb but a noun, and one of my favorites. Fu*k: one of the most versatile words in the English language; one of the most brilliantly– acted scenes ever was on The Wire and they only used that word. Wanker: A polite(ish) way of calling someone a dick. Bifurcate: I look for ways to use it when someone is being an asshat. Their look of confusion is a great equalizer. Try it; just look it up before you do or you’ll look like a douche! Tool: towards a person, explains exactly how you feel. Fellowship: a church word, one of the friendliest. I like words that are used to bring people together.

I would love to hear your favorite words. But if you’re going to tell me, say it like you mean it.

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COVER STORY

E X P R E S S I O N S

Meditations on Who We Are

Lonnell Callum: ‘The Black Butterfly ’ I’ve come to a place in my life where I have finally digested the man that I am, and the man that I’m becoming.

The way I look is a part of who I am, but the leather and props in this photo don’t define me as a whole. I am like a caterpillar coming out of its cocoon; I am a gentleman who happens to be black, and who enjoys the leather and fetish lifestyle.

I am not as unique as I once thought, but I live my own life in a different way. I am open to suggestions about who I am, but I respect myself today, which allows me to respect others. I have found that by just being ‘real’ and ‘authentic,’ I am expressing myself enough.

by Hans Rosemond // HansRosemond.com

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Alba Avella: ‘The Luminary ’ When I am on the mat or in a dance studio, there’s no room for criticism.

Yoga and dance are my platform to express myself completely and honestly, without judgment.

Expression lays the groundwork to live a full life. For me, it’s to close my eyes, see what’s inside and be OK with and celebrate what I see. When the human soul is on fire, magic happens, and I believe this is what will change the world.

Leo Kattari: ‘The Open book’ My partner and I are sex educators; the props in this photo are stuffed STI’s: syphilis and herpes. Most of the time you’ll find me sporting a quirky, humorous t-shirt, and I seldom pass up the opportunity to dress things up with a bowtie.

As a trans man, most of my life I expressed my gender through clothes, hair and body language that was perceived by others to conflict with the gender they assumed I was – the piece of my identity that I am always hyper–aware of and consciously performing.

It’s important for me to be open about my experiences because not all trans people can be.

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Andrea StaxXx: ‘The Stage stomper’

Mary McDonough: ‘The Philosopher’ I feel most myself when I am writing and thinking. I don’t wake up in the morning and say to myself: ‘I’m going to be expressive today!’ Rather, I wake up and say ‘Today, I’m going to be myself.’ My expression is the look on my face; the breadth of my shoulders.

When I’m on stage and I lock eyes with someone I’ve never met but know that I know them in the depths of me, they understand, too.

My (poetry) notebook is my totem; my companion and my appendage. When I leave it at home I feel like I have no knuckles or connective tissue. It represents me and my work.

Most days when I look in the mirror, I feel charming, oh so charming.

I really love being just a bit different; people notice when you stand out.

I think someone’s style tells you a lot about a person and how they carry themselves in life. I have a mix: I like being pretty and buying that cute dress to wear out, and then I also love being a little bit more on the dark side and love anything with crosses, spikes, skulls, cheetah prints, and that’s what I would say most people know Andrea for. I like being creepy, but like to keep the creepy pretty.

Elisabeth Long ‘The Bibliophilic femme’ I am a sex–positive femme who expresses an over–the–top ‘too much’ femininity and I prefer libraries over malls, writing over small talk, stories and theory and a glass of whiskey over pretty much everything.

What is often seen about me is an overtly sexual femininity, loud gender and loud politics.

But what is often not seen is my introversion, my connection with animals, my sensitivity and emotional expression. I think of a courage in my convictions, healing and justice-lovin’, deep dreamin’, stilettos–and–fishnets–wearin’, sensitive and fierce femme babe.

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Jack Morgan ‘The Chameleon’ I think of myself as being able to fit into any segment of the community. I can be me dressed in a tux at an HRC dinner, decked out in leather at the Denver Eagle, wearing a suit and tie for work, or put on a cowboy hat and boots to dance at Charlie’s. I always aim to try something different or new in life. But I’m the same person wherever I am.

As a Colorado native who has moved around a lot, I keep coming back home, and my Country Western style is representational of home. Being honest and truthful and doing what I enjoy sets me apart.

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Laurie Maves: ‘The People’s Paintslinger’ It’s great being an artist – I can wear what I want, have my hair how I want. I’m drawn to people who have an approach to life that sees it as a sacred thing, with a purpose – I find more and more of these friends these days are in search of that, inspired and consciously seeking purpose.

Sometimes I feel like I have this God–given gift, that I’ve always been an artist and have only more recently connected to it. I’m here to serve other people; when someone comes to me to paint a painting for them, it’s a spiritual thing that serves a greater need.

Adrianne Norris: ‘The Smile’ I express myself through my artwork, my designs or from just walking into a room with a big smile on my face – most people have a hard time not smiling back. I love looking good and I especially love when people notice my style and dress.

My confidence will always set me apart – I carry myself with a comfort and grace which makes people see me as someone who knows what she wants and will get it!

Debbie Scheer: ‘The stand-up mom’ As a full time mom, my everyday life is pretty much consumed with ‘mom’ related things. My children have helped shape the way I view the world, and I try to see the world through their eyes, which allows me to be the best mom, ally and advocate for my kids. Humor is critical to my survival, as well as my boys’. I believe that finding the spark of humor – that hopefully evolves into a laugh – can ultimately change how we view our situations and the world around us.

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Rachael Axtman: ‘The Superlesbo hipster’ I love to take photos; there is no prop or subject too ordinary to make into art. I take pictures every day and upload them on Instagram.

It helps me to feel connected with people who may not be right in front of me. My individual and unique expression comes through and from my art, whether it’s the melted crayon on canvas medium, my instagram photography, my tattoos or the conversations I have with others.

I’m expressive through my inquisitiveness, too.

I prefer to ask questions whenever possible and learn from other people’s experiences.

Lawrence French and Gregory Sargowicki: ‘The Patrons’ We are both so far out of the closet that we often joke that there isn’t a closet big enough for us anymore to get back into. We enjoy and support the arts, especially the performing arts, and reflect that in our appearance. We wear bright, flamboyant styles that are a bit theatrical.

We want to be known and remembered as Gregory and Lawrence, two guys who are fun, giving, caring and who enjoy life and want to make it more enjoyable for all of those who they come into contact with.

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FooD FoR THoUGHT

Little Dragon 1305 Krameria Street, G Denver CO 80220 • 303-322-2128 LittleDragonDenver.com

Cherry Creek’s picture perfect restaurant destination Second Home Kitchen + Bar

By Jeffrey Steen I am impressed by spaces that utilize the most unusual elements to compose a fluid, engaging space. Cherry Creek’s Second Home Kitchen + Bar – nestled inside the JW Marriott off Clayton Avenue – showcases a hefty helping of just this kind of skillful design. It’s the perfect entrée into summer, it turns out, and the kind of place you really want to be on a Friday night.

Which is where I landed with my better half a couple Fridays back. And while Second Home is, for lack of a better word, entrancing, it also eludes description. I mean, what would you call a dining room with chalkboard charcuterie signs feet away from a glowing wine wall? Art nouveau?

It turns out the menu is as conceptually elusive as the space. Their restaurant team dubs it “American home cooking with spins on timeless favorites,” while an international wine list and hefty microbrew selection render the concept something of a global fusion–touched exploration of comfort food– inspired eats. Follow? Me neither.

But the articulation of a concept is really put to the test on the plate; if it’s delicious, who can argue?

And there’s no argument from me. The spring menu rolled out recently, bearing the creative marks of long–sung Executive Chef Jeff Bolton. There’s little pretension, and a lot of flavor.

Number one must–try: the Seared Cornbread Pudding. Don’t let the name fool you – this reads like an ooey-gooey indulgence, but in reality is a duo of moist, green chile–flecked cornbreads paired with a smoky Pasilla cream, salsa verde, and an ingenious pickled Fresno pepper–cilantro slaw that’s worthy of its own plate.

Number two: the Smoked Duck Breast and Asparagus Salad. Culinary gurus take note, this how you compose a dish – a chorus of bitey arugula, snappy Sherry vinaigrette, creamy duck egg, earthy duck, crunchy hazelnuts, and sweet Port-soaked cherries that all land perfectly in key on a final captivating chord. Humor me in my dramatic rendering – it really is that good.

Number three: Skirt Steak with chimichurri and house fries. OK, OK, so this isn’t anything that raises an eyebrow or tickles the creative nerve, but it’s one of those Second Home comforts that will always earn applause. Why? It’s simple, accessible, and we love it – we crave it, even.

Last but deliciously best: Chocolate Chip Bread Pudding. Honestly, they had me at “chocolate.” I’m a sucker for bread pudding, but when you top it with chocolate chip ice cream and couple it with an Irish coffee, then I will probably marry you.

Call me juvenile, but one of the great things about Chef Bolton’s Second Home is the Pajama Brunch on Sundays. Assuming you’re a guest upstairs, all you have to do is amble down in your moose slippers and settle in for a Bag o’ Doughnuts and a mimosa. Oh, you don’t have moose slippers? That’s just me? Oh. JUne 5, 2013

SoCiAl

Serioz Pizzeria 1336 East 17th Avenue Denver, CO 80218 • (303) 997-7679 SeriozPizza.com

r Second Home Kitchen & Bar is located at 150 Clayton Ln., 80206. Online: SecondHomeDenver.com

Jammies and Jam

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Hamburger Mary’s 700 East 17th Avenue Denver, CO 80203 • (303) 832-1333 HamburgerMarys.com/denver

OutfrOntonline.cOm

The Melting Pot 2707 W. Main Street, Littleton, CO 80120 • (303)-794-5666 MeltingPot.com

& s t n io o t r a F k P en! c Op Bao N w

Happy Hour Everyday!

4pm to 7pm | 2 for 1 draft beers & well drinks |$4 house wines & Margaritas

Two Locations 17th & Humboldt Lowry Southeast Denver

Dont forget Tuesday is $15.00 Liters of House Margarita Gold!

FUN AFFORDABLE DELICIOUS

Not all green chili is created equal. Come in and get your Benny’s fix for the winter.

301 EAST 7TH AVE. • 303 894 0788 BENNYSRESTAURANT.COM OutfrOntonline.cOm

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HiGH SoCieTY

“ In our society, we automatically attach that to the female. When it’s the male [being sexy] it’s got to be something more homoerotic because straight guys don’t put themselves out there that way. I don’t think my

Peter and the Starcatcher

August 15 – September 1 1101 13th St. • Denver, CO 80204 r DenverCenter.org

videos are that scandalous.”

An Evening Under the Stars

INTERVIEW:

Colton Ford gets serious

By Gary M. Kramer Colton Ford has performed in TV shows like The Lair, and in films like Another Gay Movie, as well as in – ahem – adult films (for 10 months), but he is first and foremost a crooner. He performed in his high school choir; in dinner theater; and has sung jingles and in jazz quartets. Ford has also released several CDs, the latest, The Way I Am, out this month.

GARY M. KRAMER: Your CD is titled The Way I Am. How does it represent you and your music?

COLTON FORD: I think I’ve always been authentic and this album is a culmination of 30 years I’ve been in the music business. It encompasses all of my musical styles. I’m rooted in R&B, funk, house, electronica, a little jazz, and some pop. It’s a more mainstream record. I’ve been growing my fanbase and have crossed over to reach a certain section of the straight community. I’d like to expand on that.

This record is broader in its musical scope to be able to do that.

GMK: Most folks know you from your porn career. I knew you from the documentary Naked Fame, which showed your efforts to (re)-launch your music career. Do you feel you have to keep proving yourself?

CF: A segment of the population is going to have a difficulty seeing beyond my 10-month stint in adult films. It’s just an impactful image and there is still a lot that people attach to it. I’m provocative in my nature, and certainly know that that reaches and affects people. But I think every artist struggles with being deemed credible until they sell 1 million units.

GMK: How are you provocative?

CF: There are nuances in my video that I think are more erotic. In our society, we automatically attach that to the female. When it’s the male [being sexy] it’s got to be something more homoerotic because 30

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straight guys don’t put themselves out there that way. I don’t think my videos are that scandalous.

GMK: With your cover art you went for staid, not sexy. Was that deliberate?

CF: The theme underneath this whole album is you’re getting something you’re not expecting.

That’s not to say people who have been following my music wouldn’t expect this, but part of the impact of my past and putting out this music is unexpected, and more serious. That’s what we wanted for the cover of the album. This [art] is from a whole series. There’s a shot of me in bed, naked, but it’s like a bust. [indicating “chest up” with his hands]. But I’ve had my shirt off before, so how about having something more refined, more sophisticated and focus the attention more on the music? In the videos we can play with the skin and the sexuality and all that kind of good stuff.

GMK: What can you say about how your identity has evolved as your career has?

CF: As with anyone getting older, life experience changes them. The whole creative experience is volatile. I take my work seriously, but I have a better ability – I’ve fine-tuned my skills – to not be as reactive to things I ultimately don’t have control over. I pick my battles, and I think one of the things that challenges almost every artist is patience.

GMK: What is your process writing songs?

CF: I try and go into writing sessions open, and let the track and moment guide me. Usually I start tapping into a melody and lyrics pop through, but sometimes I’ll go in with an idea of what I want to say. Lyrically, some songs reflect my experiences; others are just my observations or putting myself in someone else’s shoes. Others come from my imagination. The styles range accordingly GMK: So what music do you listen to?

CF: Rufus and Chaka Khan, Al Green, Luther Vandross, and Olivia Newton-John – yes I am a gay man!.

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August 29 Arvada Center • 6900 Wadsworth Blvd.

Arvada, CO 80003 • r ColoradoBallet.org

Live Music by Rae Miller in the PACE Amphitheatre

June 27 PACE Center • 20000 Pikes Peak Avenue Parker, CO 80138 • r PACEcenteronline.org

Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical

May 17 - June 16, 2013 • 2450 W Main Street Littleton, CO 80120 • r townhallartscenter.com

The Hobbit

July 9 – July 25 9900 E Colfax Ave • Aurora, CO 80010 r aurorafoxartscenter.org

Curtains

July 5 - July 28 6901 Wadsworth Blvd • Arvada, CO 80003 r arvadacenter.org

The Wizard of Oz

May 18 - August 31 5501 Arapahoe Ave • Boulder, CO 80303 r bouldersdinnertheatre.com

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BAR RAG

Bar Wars raises $5,500 for Colorado AIDS Project

By Jeff Trujillo

Community. That’s the word that would best describe the overwhelming feeling that filled the room at this year’s Bar Wars on May 19th at Charlie’s Denver.

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More than 250 people, including a pair of emcees, a dozen volunteers, 120 taste-test judges, and a crowd of spectators came out to support Denver Colorado AIDS Project and the nine participating bars that came together under one roof to battle out several rounds of friendly rivalry – and to raise money and awareness for DCAP. Among the witty banter exchanged by emcees Martini Monroe and Shanida Lawya, the crazy and creative cocktails being mixed up by the bartenders, and the awesome auction packages being sold off, there was a welcoming sense of togetherness and generosity filling the room. There wasn’t a single person in attendance who wasn’t giving something – their time, their creativity, their cheers, their support, and of course their money.

Amidst the camaraderie and playfulness at Bar Wars, there were a lot of drinks. Some of the most unique were the French Cosmopolitan mixed by Molly and Phil at Blush & Blu, the Scarlet Martini mixed by Brett at Black Crown, and the Hot & Dirty Martini that included red pepper flakes and a swirl of Sriracha sauce mixed by Michael at L’il Devils.

Round after round, bartenders from our nine bars flexed their creative muscles, trying to one– up one another with their original recipes and by demonstrating their skills in the flair and talent competition, while simultaneously supporting and encouraging each other. When it came time to sample, observe and vote for our favorites, it was all compliments and praise from our taste-testers.

The event raised $5,500 to support services

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provided by DCAP, and Denver Wrangler was named as this year’s winner, represented by everyone’s favorite “panda,” Daniel Romero.

They say that it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to take care of each other, and DCAP is honored to be a part of such an incredibly giving community. Together, during a fun and exciting afternoon of cocktail sampling, we were able to strengthen our community and support individuals in need.

It’s a privilege to be able to bring people together in different ways to support DCAP’s mission of caring for those affected by HIV and preventing the spread of the disease, and I’m always overwhelmed by the incredible support shown at DCAP’s events.

Thank you for coming out for Bar Wars this year. I hope to see everyone at the 26th annual AIDS Walk Colorado on August 10th.

This event would not have been possible without the participation of our community watering holes – Black Crown, Blush & Blu, Broadway’s, Charlie’s, Diego’s, L’il Devils, Wrangler and X Bar – and without the generosity of our sponsors – Out Front, Belvedere Vodka, Charlie’s, Diego’s and Dream Shuttles. DCAP is truly grateful.

Jeff Trujillo is the manager of marketing and events at Colorado AIDS Project.

More info about CAP online at ColoradoAidsProject.org

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on the scene

Colorado AIDS Project Fundraiser: Bar Wars

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Photos by Charles Broshous

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bar tab

Weekly recurring drink specials from Out Front’s Bar Tab members e Aqua Lounge – Facebook.com/Aqua.Denver Mondays: Karaoke hosted by Adam from 8 p.m. till close.

Tuesdays: Mil Hi Bullseye Dart League! Open play and free darts from 10 p.m. - 2 a.m., league play from 7-10 p.m.

Wednesdays: Wet Wednesday Dance party with DJ Tatiana and GoGo Dancers // 75 cent beers, $2 wells, $4 Absolut.

Thursdays: Karaoke hosted by Dave Myers at 8 p.m. // half-price bar from 8-9 p.m. e Blush & Blu – BlushBluBar.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 wells, vino, domestics, lattes; $1.50 PBR’s; $4 shots of Fireball everyday (3 p.m.

-7 p.m.) // Daily $4 mystery drink or shot bartender special Mondays: Poker Night – Texas Hold ‘em – with dealer Deb Z and prizes!

Free to play (7-10 p.m.)

Thursdays: $4 “U-call-it” drinks (4 p.m.-midnight) and hip-hop jams Fridays: Top 40 jams and dance party with DJ JodyB (9 p.m.-close) Sundays: Molly’s famous $4 Bloody’s e BoyzTown – BoyzTownDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: MondayThursday: 3 p.m. till 8 p.m. and Friday–Sunday: noon to 8 p.m.

Mondays–Thursdays: Absolut $4.50 “U Call” Fridays & Sundays: Stoli $4.50 “U Call” Fridays–Sundays: 3Olives $4.50 “U Call”

w

e El Potrero – Facebook.com/el.potrero.180 NO COVER on Wednesdays and Fridays!

Wednesdays: Drag Wednesdays with 2-for-1 beers, $3 rum, and vodka specials, $2 drafts Fridays: Go-Go Fridays with $2 rum and vodka specials, $2 drafts, $5 Jose Cuervo, $15 beer buckets and $5 Jager shots e Li’l Devils – LilDevilsLounge.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: Everyday from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m.: $3 well, wine, domestics and $4 for 22 oz Domestic tanks, 16 oz imports and craft mugs, and call liquors.

Tuesdays: Two-for-one beer or cocktails specials starting at 8 p.m.

Sundays: Trivia Night! Compete for free drinks and bar tabs, starting at 7:30 p.m., $3 Smifnoff Vodkas e R&R – rrDenver.com WEEKLY HAPPY HOUR: $3 wells and domestics from 3-8 p.m.

Mondays–Thursday: 3-7 p.m. on Fridays, and 11 a.m.-7 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays Wednesdays: PBR and a shot of Jager for $6 (8 p.m. to close) Thursdays: $4 3Olives Vodka drinks ALL DAY Sundays: $3 Bloody Mary’s (11 a.m.-8 p.m.)

e Charlie’s – CharliesDenver.com DAILY BEER SPECIAL: $4 for a 32 oz. domestic pitcher and $8 for a premium pitcher Mondays: Karaoke at 9 p.m. // $2.25 Bacardi (9 p.m.-close) Thursdays: 1/2 price night!

Fridays: $10 Buddy Beer Bust (5-8 p.m.) // $3 Absolute (9 p.m.-close) Saturdays: $5 Beer Bust (2-5 p.m.)

e Tracks – TracksDenver.com Mondays: Ultimate Queen Contest with no cover for over 21 and $2 wells until show starts Thursdays: Superstar Night, 18 and up dance party // first 50 guests free // $5 after 10 p.m.

Saturdays: Elevated Saturdays with DJ’s Flowers, Sean OGrady and Markie // 2-for-1 drinks from 9-10 p.m. // $5-$10 cover

e Eden Restaurant & Bar – EdenDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 Domestics and wells, $2 off wines (4 p.m.7 p.m.) // $4 calls and shots (11 p.m.-midnight) Thursdays: Karaoke with DJ Bella Scratch at 9 p.m.

Sundays: 10 a.m. Yoga, $7 per class

e Wrangler – DenverWrangler.com Tuesdays: Tightwad Tuesdays with $2 beer grab, $2 wells, and $3.50 domestics // $5 Buy-in pool tournament Wednesdays: Geeks who Drink Pub Trivia (8-10 p.m.)

Sundays: $8 Legendary Beer Bust (4-8 p.m.)

Bar Tab is a list of partnering lesbian and gay–friendly bars and venues in Denver, including some of the top destinations in the region for gay nightlife and specials and events every night of the week!

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4501 E Virginia Ave Denver, Colorado 80246 • (303) 388-8889 www.facebook.com/elpotreroclub

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Sponsored by Tuaca

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A. Aqua Lounge B. bLush & blu C. BoyzTown D. Charlies E. Eden

F. El Potrero G. Li’l Devils H. R&R I. Tracks J. Wrangler E

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lUSH

To hang(over) or not to hang How to survive the morning after

By Ashley Trego

Ahh the hangover. We’ve all had them in the past, and chances are we’ll all have them again. But it doesn’t have to be so bad – these before and after–cocktails tricks will help ease the pain and discomfort that comes after a big night out.

‘‘

Contrary to popular belief, greasy or fatty foods are not your cure. They may taste good, and alcohol might make you crave sugar and fat, but they can make you feel sluggish

PRE-GAME

e Hydrate! Just because you’re consuming a liquid doesn’t mean it’s quenching your thirsty cells. Alcohol is a diuretic, flushing out water, and you won’t even feel it until you wake up and feel like a giant pink elephant is sitting on your aching head. If you know you’re going to have cocktail, hydrate with water all day before, throughout the night and especially before you go to bed. e Eat! A healthy meal before cocktails will not only give you energy for a fun night but also help control the speed alcohol hits your system. Protein, whole grains and vegetables are all good pre-game foods. e Know how different alcohols affect you. For example, some people get worse headaches from wine than from martinis. Tequila affects some more than vodka and is sometimes the difference between clear and brown liquors. Different drinks have hundreds of different natural and synthetic components and you could be reacting to different ones. As you work your way through the “spirit world,” pay attention to how each affects you. e Don’t overdo it! Moderation is the surest way to avoid the sting of a hangover.

POST-PARTY

e Hydrate more! If you wake up during the night, drink water. First thing in the morning, drink water. e Sleep in if you can – your bed is your friend. e Go for a run or a swim. Exercise gets your metabolism moving to process the residues of the night before, and – that’s right – makes you want to drink more water! e Eat healthy. Contrary to popular belief, greasy or fatty foods are not your cure. They may taste good, and alcohol might make you crave sugar and fat, but they can make you feel sluggish. A few of my favorite morning after foods are soba noodles (Japanese buckwheat noodles that you can find at most Asian markets), whole grain buckwheat (very delicious and nutritious), menudo (Mexican tripe soup that if made well is sooo tasty), pineapple and asparagus (which contain natural enzymes that can help break down bad things in the tummy), coconut water (hydrating, and full of isotones that help your body absorb the moistsure more efficiently), and finally quinoa. This super grain (which can be made ahead and enjoyed with nuts and raisins like a breakfast cereal) is packed with protein, enzymes and all kinds of good stuff that will get you back in the saddle.

Ashley Trego is a chef, event planner, wine industry professional and freelance food and wine writer. She works with Black Bridge Winery, 5680 Vineyards, Alfred Eames Cellars, to name a few.

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QUeer MarriaGe

THIS IS WHAT QUEER MARRIAGE LOOKS LIKE

Jay Villa and Joe Gates

By Robyn Vie-Carpenter, The Lesbian Socialite After I met Jay Villa, I kept hearing about this elusive husband of his. I finally got to meet Jay’s other half, Joe Gates, last August. Today, Villa is a local event and wedding planner and Gates is a mechanic and manager for a machine rental company. I sat down with them over homemade biscuits and coffee to hear how this dynamic duo came to be.

ROBYN VIE-CARPENTER: When did you guys meet?

JAY VILLA: December 3, 2003, at Hamburger Mary’s.

RVC: Hamburger Mary’s, really?

JOE GATES: In Las Vegas.

JV: I was actually celebrating my 21st birthday.

Joe was friends with one of my friends, [a bouncer there].

JG: He kept coming outside to talk to me.

JV: He was cute. Actually, everybody thought he was straight.

JG: Haha! That’s why I was outside talking to the bouncer. I’m not really big and gay. And you really don’t want to see me dance.

JV: We both lived in Vegas at the time. We saw each other a couple of times throughout the months, and would just kind of smile and say hello. I’d be going, “oh look there goes that cute guy” to my friends. Then March 13, 2004 we’re at Hamburger Mary’s again. He asked me if I would have drinks with him and his friends. I was there with my bestie and tell him “do you mind if I hang out with this guy?” He’s like, “how’re you gonna get home?” I said I’ll find a ride.

We’ve kinda been together since that night.

Joe gave me his number. He wrote it on this little yellow piece of paper, that I still have. Monday he calls me, but I guess Tuesday was technically our first date. We went bowling. [Looking at Joe] Did we see each other Wednesday?

JG: I really don’t remember.

JV: Thursday, Joe called in sick from work. I told 40

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him that I would bring him dinner and picked up fries and shrimp.

JG: He brought me man food!

JV: As we were just eating, and he was like, no one’s ever bought me dinner. He asked if I would be his boyfriend. I just kind of looked at him and he has this look on his face like…

JG: I froze.

JV: …Cause I didn’t say anything for like a minute, then was like yes, of course. We were with each other every day after that. We lived together – my mother loved him to death. Our families got to know one another. After two years exactly to the day we met, Joe proposed.

I was planning a surprise birthday party for Joe. I’d planned to tell him we were having dinner at our friend’s house. Joe gets there and we yell “surprise!” And he’s like…

JG: …I already knew.

JV: And then close to around 11:15 or 11:30 p.m., around exactly the same time that I met him, two years ago…

RVC: (To Joe Gates) Because you met on your birthday.

JV: Exactly. So, Joe’s not really one to talk very much…

RVC: You don’t say?

JV: …And all of a sudden he starts this speech.

Everybody’s like, ‘listen Joe’s talking!’ Our friend tells our other friend, turn off the TV. RVC: They’re paying attention because Joe never talks.

JG: Yeah, so they’re like, it must be something good [laughs].

JV: I’m like, ‘what is he doing?’ The words I remember – since the day I met Jay I knew he’d be the one I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.

It’s still not clicking in my head and I’m looking at him like, aw, that’s so cute. And he’s talking – and now I know he is the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. He turns around to me and he grabs my hands and was like, Jay will you OutfrOntonline.cOm

marry me? And my face – [dropping his jaw], I’m like – huh? Did this actually just happen? Of course I said yes.

After that we moved into our house. You know, marriages aren’t legal [in Nevada].

RVC: That’s the dumbest thing I could ever imagine in Nevada.

JV: Right? Look how many stars have gotten married there then annulled it. So, we’re not in a rush to get married. We’re committed to each other. We purchased a house, cars, everything, together. Then Prop 8 passed in California [banning same-sex marriage]. We were wanting the certificate that said “marriage.”

Not civil union – which is great that states are passing civil unions at least, we gotta start somewhere – but it was about having a certificate that says married.

But when Labor Day weekend was coming up in like two weeks, we said, “screw it, let’s go get married!” We’d been engaged almost three years. We were going to go do it, just him and I, at first…

JG: My mom finds out.

JV: …And she’s like: ‘no, no, we gotta be there.’

So we decided a few friends and family…being from LA originally, I need a beach wedding, regardless. I don’t care if this is a quickie. When I say ‘I do’ it’s going to be on the beach. So, I got the officiant, found a restaurant…

RVC: You handled it all? What a surprise!

JV: Right, the wedding planner does all the planning, who knew?

JG: I just showed up.

RVC: Right, just tell me what time to be there.

JV: And what to wear. [laughs] So, we drove out there with friends and family. We were like, “guys, we’ll do this correctly another time,” have a massive reception with all of the stuff. They were like, “nope! We still want to be there.” So, at like 4:30 p.m. we said “I do” in Laguna Beach, on the cliff, overseeing the entire ocean.

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marketplace

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THE

J HAMBURGER MARY’S OFFERS 15 PERCENT OFF THEIR TAB (EXCLUDING ALCOHOL) TO OUT FRONT QRAVE MEMBERS!

More than your typical burger experience Hamburger Mary’s dishes exceptional grub, drink specials, patio mingling and entertainment Half a pound of meat in your mouth can be one of two things: the start to a good night or just your average night at Hamburger Mary’s. Then again, any night at Hamburger Mary’s is more than average.

Hamburger Mary’s offers plenty of options among their signature burgers, including the Mary Burger, The Colorado Flamer and three different stuffed burgers. Not to mention that they offer plenty of meat options like Angus Beef, buffalo, chicken breast and black bean patties for vegetarians. Their menu also includes sensational sandwiches, enticing entrees and delicious desserts.

Hamburger Mary’s is more than just food. It is also fabulous entertainment for plenty of those looking for a fun time.

Hamburger Mary’s houses Mary-oke

every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday night with food and drink specials, as well as fantastic 250,000 song catalog for those looking to belt one out.

On top of that, Hamburger Mary’s is the home of Denver’s only true drag cabaret experience, DreamGirls, which happens every first, third and fourth Friday. If that is not enough to satisfy your drag craving, go in on a Wednesday night at 9 p.m. and join in on drag bingo.

If you want more than just your typical burger experience, head on down to Hamburger Mary’s.

Hamburger Mary’s is located at 700 E. 17th Ave. r For more info, visit Hamburger Marys.com/Denver.

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Out Front’s QRAVE program offers exclusive discounts at participating locations across the state.

You choose the discount you want to offer to your QRAVE customers – then sit back and watch the people line up at your business! The QRAVE membership is free to Out Front readers who regularly check the QRAVE web page and printed participating business list to determine where to spend their hard-earned dollars.

Email advertising@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 702 for details!

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THRIVE

healthy HAPPY PROUD mention THIS AD &

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Faith & Spirit: Trusting the intuition

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Over the past few months I have rededicated myself to the work of addiction coaching and embraced the newer work of Sober Companion.

Recently I had someone very dear to me seek me out for some guidance.

She had tears in her eyes. She was wrestling with two very common issues: with her relationship and her job. Both had come up at the same time, and both in the form of her intuition and her heart being clear that neither the job nor the relationship were the right ones for her – it was time to move on. We talked at length about following her inner guidance and not allowing the good intentions and advice, which would flow in response, to get her ego involved in undermining her desires.

I gave her both my cognitive and intuitive responses to the unsuitability of both the relationship and the job in light of how her intuition was informing her choice. And I did my best to reinforce the benefit of pursuing life outside the box, knowing the next highest vision of who she came here to be would not be realized by maintaining the present circumstances. We identified some of the reasons why her intuitive self might be indicating that it was time to move on. By the end of the conversation, with assurances that I would be a ready and willing sounding board, which she would make frequent use of, she gratefully departed, seemingly quite clear on her new direction.

In my addiction work I make use of a process I developed to help walk my clients through stages of recovery and personal responsibility. What I dis-

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

covered in my conversation with my perplexed friend was that this process worked as well with her as it would with someone dealing with larger self–destructive issues that I encounter in Addiction Coaching. It also pointed out the importance of follow up and continuity in the process. While our conversation did identify a good deal around her uncertainties and we did talk about surrendering to all that had transpired as contributing to her growth, she never made any of those follow up phone calls, so there were no conversations to provide any kind of balance or support to the proposed new directions. Commitment and accountability to ourselves are key factors for change in strengthening our heart and mind. Without them there is not going to be any movement to the expansive side of the box.

In fact, the end the relationship didn’t come, and the job remains, while there appears to be a “happy face” on all of it. Her intuition and her heart had sought a new vision, but after that vision was exposed to the advice of others and then filtered through the ego’s ever–present desire to remain inside the box, the vision was sublimated and buried. Fortunately for my young friend, that higher self will almost certainly only be cloaked by the happy face and not anesthetized with alcohol or drugs, but it is still sad to see how readily we place our dreams in second position and allow the ego’s interpretation to be our reality.

Ken Ludwig is a No B.S. Addiction Coach, Sober Companion and Speaker.

Connect with Ken by visiting his website: MakingItOutAlive.com.

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THE GAY AESTHETIC

BEAUTY

By Kelsey Lindsey, the Boulderite Beauty

Wet hair rehab w CUTE HAIR AND CHLORINE – the ultimate contradiction. Given the damaging effect this chemical has on the hair, poolside bathers deal with the dilemma of having to choose between great locks or a refreshing dip when visiting their water hangout of choice.

But thanks to the newest innovations in hair care, now you can have fun in the sun even after taking an aqua refresher. Applied at the right time, these products below help prevent against any damage harsh chemicals and heat can have on the hair, helping you maintain those gorgeous locks even after the sun goes down.

BEFORE YOU GO: Apply Babo Botanicals Cucumber Aloe Vera UV Sport Conditioning Spray ($16, Ulta) on dry hair to help resist the effects of chlorine, salt, and sun. Its plantbased conditioners combat UV damage, while organic aloe vera and cucumber replenish and moisturize.

FOR THE POOLSIDE LOUNGER: If you’re working on your tan all day (don’t forget the SPF!), your hair may wilt and fade under the sun’s harsh rays. AG Hair Cosmetics Keratin Repair Revamp Volumizing Spray ($24, Ulta) contains keratin amino acids that help bond and smooth hair while keeping it strong. Its humidity-resistant formula guarantees that your hair won’t frizz and the addition of PABA-free sunscreen protects against UV rays.

FOR COLOR-TREATED HAIR: We all know how fast hair color seems to fade, so we don’t need anything speeding up the process (I’m looking at you chlorine and bromine). Wella Professionals Brilliance Shampoo and Conditioner for Fine to Normal Colored Hair ($12.85 and $13.70, amazon.com) cleanses hair while preventing color from fading, even after a dip in the pool. Bonus: Diamond powder leaves hair with a mirror-like shine and a super luxurious feel.

FOR THE LAP SWIMMER: Just because you’re in the pool all day working on your bod doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your hair in the process. TRISWIM Chlorine-Out Shampoo and Conditioner ($13.20 and $16.39, triswimbeauty.com) is specially formulated to remove chlorine, bromine, salt water, and copper from the locks. The addition of Vitamin A and Pro Vitamin B5 also helps moisturize, leaving your hair hydrated and healthy.

FOR AFTER-SUN FUN: Jumping from the pool to the party is effortless with Oribe Après Beach Wave and Shine Spray ($37, oribe.com). Spray on damp or dry locks and watch damaged-looking hair spring back to life as tousled, beach-y waves. r Reach Kelsey by email at Kelsey@OutFrontOnline.com. For more beauty, visit ofcnow.co/dgw.

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

A Wellness Oriented Lifestyle can assist you in reaching your OPTIMUM HEALTH

● Chiropractic ● Rehab ● Massage Therapy Cherry Creek Spine & Sport Clinic 400 S. Colorado Blvd., Ste., 300 Glendale CO., 80246 303 759 5575 DrMarkijohn@gmail.com www.CherryCreekSpine.com

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GET ACTIVE

LGBT organizations that create movement, change and fun Colorado AIDS Project CAP is a service organization that works to meet the needs of people affected by HIV through prevention, care and advocacy in the state.

Get involved/More info: ColoradoAIDSProject.org Colorado Anti-Violence Program The Colorado Anti-Violence Program is a nonprofit and service oriented group that works to build safety and justice for the LGBT community through advocacy, youth organization, training and education of the community.

Get involved/More info: COAVP.org Colorado Gay Rodeo Association This CGRA is the oldest gay rodeo association in North America and puts on the annual Rocky Mountain Regional Rodeo each summer.

Get involved/More info: CGRA.ws Babes Around Denver Babes Around Denver is a social group focused on connecting the female community. Check out the monthly First Friday celebrations at Tracks!

Get involved/More info: BabesArounDenver.com

COMMITMENT. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, person For more than 27 years,

Denver Gay Men’s Chorus A chorale group that exists to build community through music. The members join in the making of an artistic statement that creates a positive contribution in the arts to the LGBT community.

Auditions are always open!

Get involved/More info: Rmarts.org/DGMC.php

Out Front has chronicled the struggle for equality.

And while we celebrate a major victory, the fight continues.

Like us on Facebook today to be a part of the next step toward full marriage equality.

educate. celebrate. activate. outfrontonline.com

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Denver Gay Professionals The Denver Gay Professionals is a networking community whose mission is to continually provide a highly-creative and social environment where members and guests are encouraged to network.

Get involved/More info: DenverGayProfessionals.com Front Range Bears The Front Range Bears is a social group for hirsute men and their admirers.

Every year they sponsor Octobearfest, a 3-4 day international gathering of bears.

Accepting new members!

Get involved/More info: FrontRangeBears.org OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Gender Identity Center of Colorado The GIC of Colorado is a nonprofit organization that provides support, outreach and advocacy to anyone gender variant in their gender identity and expression.

Get involved/More: GicOfColo.org Hip Chicks Out Hip Chicks Out is a social group for women. Join the female revolution with the HipChicksOut Crashers. Get involved by joining the party every 2nd Friday of the month at the Living Room.

Get involved/More info: HipChicksOut.com HRC Colorado The Human Rights Campaign in Colorado fights for equality for all LGBT people. HRC is always looking for more volunteers.

Get involved/More: HRC.org/states/Colorado Keshet Keshet is a national grassroots organization that works for the full equality and inclusion of LGBT Jews in Jewish life.

Get invloved/More info: KeshetOnline.org Mile High Freedom Band The MHFB is a charitable organization that serves the LGBT community through quality music. The band is open to ALL who respect the diversities in life, including the LGBT community. Auditions are always open!

Get involved/More info: MHFB.org Project Angel Heart An organization that delivers nutritious meals to those living with life threatening illnesses. Get involved by giving back and volunteering!

Get involved/More info: ProjectAngelHeart.org The GLBT Community Center of Colorado The state’s largest center for the entire LGBT community. With programs like SAGE (an elder’s program), Rainbow Alley (Youth program), Transgender and Legal Advocacy programs, The Center works to provide support and advocacy for all of Colorado’s diverse LGBT community. The Center also puts on Denver’s annual PrideFest and parade.

Get involved/More info: GLBTColorado.org

Colorado Rush gets rugged this rugby season

SPORTS

By Alex Meyer

Photo by Travis Prior

Few sports can claim to be as tough as rugby.

That’s why it’s easy for many to dismiss the game with those cliché heterosexual, hyper–masculine stereotypes associated with contact sports.

One local team, though, is seeking to redefine all that. Founded in 2010, the Colorado Rush Rugby Football Club is designed to be a place for men from all walks of life to come together – gay or straight, black or white, and everything in between, founders of the club wanted a multicultural environment where men could stay fit, socialize, and most importantly share their love for the sport.

Continued on page 56

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BIG TOYS

PRIDE OF LUXURY: Getting what you want has never been so rich

By Jonathan McGrew

“Pride” flows through all facets of our lives. Being a gearhead, I started to think about the pride of ownership and the vehicles we aspire to own. Not all of us want a luxury car, but then luxury isn’t the same to every person anyway. So let’s look at the pride of some of the top auto manufactures: BMW, Lexus and Mercedes and Land Rover.

MERCEDES-BENZ GLK350

Mercedes is definitely a brand that carries some cache. The GLK350 is a nice vehicle to look at. What is more is that you can step into one of these for a Base MSRP of $37,090 (without delivery). That buys you all the looks and performance of the GLK350 including the 3.5-liter 302-hp V6 engine, 7-speed automatic transmission and ECO Stop/Start. The ECO Stop/Start is pretty cool on a vehicle of this price level and allows the GLK350 Crossover to achieve an EPA estimate 19 mpg in the city. Price as tested: $53,545

2013 BMW M6

If you like raw power, luxury features and a design that just screams “sex,” look no further than this Sakhir Orange Metallic coupe. With 560-hp coming from the TwinPower Turbo 4.4-liter V8, the only thing you can’t outrun is the speeding ticket. With the traction and vehicle stability control systems the M6 is driveable, but lay into the throttle too hard at the wrong time and it will let you know. Fast is an understatement when 0-60 mph comes in about 4.1 seconds (a little less here at altitude). From the outside the full LED lights and 20 inch M light alloy wheels will really say you have arrived. But is it drivable daily? Sure, if you like a two–seater (because the backseat is unsuitable for most passengers) and don’t mind keeping your right foot in check. This is a car you can take pride in owning and says you have a passion for the wild side, but it’s really best as a weekend treat. Price as Tested: $123,345

2013 LEXUS RX450H

If you are looking for a Crossover with the environmental sentiments of a hybrid and the refinement associated with luxury, the RX450h hard to ignore.

Its testament to hybrid technology is the 30 mpg city it can achieve while still having the power to take you 0-60 in 7.4 seconds. This Lexus has a quiet and comfortable cabin. The best part of this RX450h is the dual–screen rear seat entertainment package. Another benefit is the On–Demand All-Wheel Drive.

My only gripe really is the heavy steering. Price as tested: $64,339

2013 LEXUS LS460

The 2013 LS460 sports the redesigned front appearance with the signature Lexus spindle grille, and is intended to be large, comfortable and powerful. At the top of the range, the LS460 can be optioned up to limousine levels of luxury with reclining rear seats, beverage cooler, massaging seats and more. This Lexus includes the comfort package with heated and cooled front memory seats, adaptive cruise control, power one–touch opening and closing rear trunk and rear sunshade.

It has navigation utilizing the 12.3 inch color screen in the dash, and with the upgraded Mark Levinson sounds system everything from Vivaldi to Pitbull come through with clarity and richness. I would have liked to see additional standard features for its more than $80K price tag, for example auto–start. That said, you can’t beat the quiet ride and smooth suspension. Price as tested: $82,279 52

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2013 RANGE ROVER SPORT

The Range Rover Sport is no stranger to the Big Toys column; I wanted to include it because it really represents one of the most comfortable SUVs I’ve driven. The seats, a captain chair style in the front, are the perfect combination of height, support and materials. The Range Rover Sport also has a wonderful sound and good power coming from the Jaguar developed 5.0-Liter 375-hp V8 engine. Gas mileage won’t be a conversation piece at 15 mpg combined, but then again you will be able to get anywhere with the multifunction Terrain Response® System.

Price as tested: $68,235

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DENVER URBANISM

Union Station –

THE SOON–TO–BE PRIDE OF URBAN DENVER

By Ken Schroeppel To celebrate this Pride issue, I think it’s appropriate to highlight what’s going on at Denver Union Station. From an urbanism perspective, if there’s anything you should take pride in, it’s what’s happening there. The area is undergoing a massive transformation taking it both “back to the past” and “forward to the future.”

Union Station dates from 1881 (the north and south wings), and rail was the city’s primary transportation gateway. If you traveled to Colorado, chances are you arrived or departed at Union Station. After World War II, planes and cars took over and rail transportation declined, leaving Union Station a quiet, lonely place for decades. Now, thanks to RTD’s FasTrack’s program, Union Station will again be a bustling transportation hub of 122 miles of new rail transit being built in Denver. Here are the Union Station project’s four components: TRANSIT: The new light rail station next to the Millennium Bridge opened in August, 2011. RTD’s Southwest (C), Southeast (E), and West (W) lines arrive there. In 2016, RTD will launch commuter rail service to Union Station.

(Commuter rail is a heavier–gauge train than light rail; otherwise, there’s not much difference to the average traveler.) The new commuter rail platforms are under construction immediately behind the historic station, surrounded by a big white canopy. New commuter rail lines coming to Union Station will include the East line to DIA, the Gold line to Wheat Ridge and Arvada, the North line to several north metro suburbs, and the Northwest line to Boulder and Longmont.

HISTORIC STATION RENOVATION: A local development team is currently restoring the historic station to its original grandeur. The Great Hall will receive a major makeover and will continue as the main transit waiting area, with restaurants and retail spaces nearby.

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Additionally, the upper floors will be converted into a new boutique hotel.

By summer of 2014, you’ll be able to travel, shop, dine, party, and sleep at Union Station!

PUBLIC SPACES: Several public plazas are planned for the project. The main one is Wynkoop Plaza, located in front of the historic station along Wynkoop Street, destined to become Downtown’s next great public space.

PRIVATE-SECTOR DEVELOPMENT: In addition to all this public investment, there’s a ton of private-sector development taking place around the station.

Over a dozen new mixed–use projects consisting of offices, hotels, apartments, and retail shops are currently under construction or planned. Have you seen all the construction cranes in the area? It’s amazing!

So what does this mean and why should we take pride in it? This is not just some run–of–the–mill construction project. Between the public infrastructure and private developments, more than $1 billion in investment happening right now will shape the way that you and future Coloradoans move about the region for the next century, and that’s not counting the $500 million new terminal/transit development at DIA or the additional investment in all the FasTracks lines.

These are serious transformations that, decades – maybe even a century from now – people will see as some of the wisest, most strategic investments this region has made. Cities around the country are scrambling to invest even a fraction of what Denver is committing to transit infrastruture. Whether you ever take a train or not, take pride in the fact that Colorado’s main urban center is growing, thriving, and committing to a more sustainable and prosperous future.

Ken is the founder of the DenverInfill and DenverUrbanism website and blogs. r Find them at DenverInfill. com.

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SPORTS

Photo by Travis Prior Continued from page 51

“At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter who we are, we are all just here to do what we love, to play rugby,” said Carlos Mazano, a spokesperson for the Rush.

That love for rugby isn’t just limited to Rush members. The growing popularity of the sport is apparent – especially in the United States. In 2010, a survey by the Sporting Goods Association found that rugby was the fastest growing team sport in the country, and the USA Rugby Association estimates that as many as 750,000 youth are involved in non–contact “rookie rugby.” At the 2016 Rio games, a smaller, 7-on-7 version of the sport will be played – the first time rugby has been featured at the games since 1924 – and the United States is expected to be a medal contender.

But even with the tremendous growth, rugby still lags behind traditional American team sports like football, basketball and baseball.

That’s why the group hosts what they refer to as “Rugby 101” at the beginning of each season.

“We understand that a lot of people may have never played before, or even have any idea what the sport is all about,” Marzano said. “These sessions give people a chance to learn the sport, or brush up on existing skills that they may already have had.”

The team is currently in the 56

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middle of its spring season, which began on March 2. Spring snows forced the team to cancel a few games, but the players are staying positive and focused on their end– of–season tournament in Seattle over Memorial Day Weekend.

The Rush compete as members of Division III in the Eastern Rockies Rugby Football Union, where they face teams from all over Colorado and Wyoming. The league is not a “gay” league, so the Rush are unique among their competitors. Yet even with recent scrutiny over homophobia in competitive team sports, Marzano has said that the team hasn’t encountered any problems in the league.

“At the end of the day, none of that matters when we are beating the crap out of each other,” said Marzano. “We are all there to play rugby.”

The team encourages anyone interested in getting involved to check out the team’s Facebook page and website, coloradorushrfc.org for contact information. The team currently practices every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at Congress Park, and welcomes anyone to come and run with them.

“We really just want to get people involved who want to play,” Marzano said. r More info online at ColoradoRushRfc.org.

radioactive vision

Reverend Waste, at your service It was Representative Diana and Kathy Griffin. Unfortunately, it’s also Nicole I took the plunge. Civil unions DeGette who planted the mischievous Richie and Glenn Beck. went into effect on May 1, 2013 My new position as minister comes with more idea in my mind. Sitting next to her here in Colorado. And while I did on the eve of Colorado civil unions than just wedding privileges. I can also officiate get hitched to Mr. Waste shortly funerals, baptisms and even exat One Colorado’s after midnight at the Webb Muorcisms. So if you know anyone Civil Soiree, she nicipal Building, the plunge I’m that needs killin’, baptizing, or confessed to me talking about is that I’m now an ‘‘ is just an evil demon spirit, send she had been ordained minister.

I want my own TV show them my way. I’ll have them ordained the Thanks to the holy miracle that with an 800 number so buried, saved or expunged in day before. Until is the Internet, and the blessed no time. then, Diana had powers of the Universal Life worshippers across the Nuclia Waste If you’re tired of the same assumed being a Church Monastery, I, Nuclia Waste, continent can donate to my old minister dressed in black was ordained a minister on May 7. I do believe state representative came with favorite charity: me. I want and white, if you are looking I am the first drag queen minister in Colorado. certain powers – such as officito add more color to your civil And if you believe Google, I may be the first ating a wedding – but accordto sin, get caught and then union ceremony, I am now ing to the laws of our country, ordained drag queen in the nation. beg for forgiveness on the taking reservations to officiate To think I blew four years of high school and being an elected official gets national news as mascara at any and all Colorado civil two years of college in the Catholic seminary you term limits and diddlysruns down my face. unions. Send me an email to studying to be a priest. My online ordination quat. So to be able to celebrate nuclia@nucliawaste.com with took nanoseconds. I did not have to take vows her friends’ unions, Diane of poverty, chastity or obedience – a good thing did what any good politician would do – found your civil union date and I will check my calendar because I want to be one of them old–fash- a loophole. A little searching and a few clicks to see if I can squeeze you in between the funerals, ioned Southern preachers, rich, disobedient later she is now a plastic–card carrying ordained baptisms and exorcisms. A minister’s got to do and screwing anything with two or more legs. minister just like myself. Later that night she offici- what a minister’s got to do.

Can I get an “amen!” up in here? Amen!

I want my own TV show with an 800 number ated several of the 130 civil unions in Denver.

According to my new church, Universal Life so worshippers across the continent can donate to my favorite charity: me. I want to sin, get Church Monastery, I am in good company; its r Nuclia Waste can be reached caught and then beg for forgiveness on the ordained ministers include Conan O’Brien, through her website at NucliaWaste.com.

Goldie Hawn, Hugh Hefner, Barbara Streisand For more Nuclia, visit Hx9. national news as mascara runs down my face.

d

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SeXUaliTY

aSK THe SeXPeRT

The unorthodox orgasms Dear Shanna-

I’ve heard that women can have four types of orgasms. Is it true? If so, what are the types?

‘Monogamish’ and the gray areas between monogamy and polyamory

By Lauren Archuletta I’ve been reporting on sexuality for Out Front for almost a year now, but I still come across concepts that are completely new to me. Recently I’d been half-heartedly listening to student presentations during a CU Boulder Queer Rhetoric class – the last class session of the semester when students presented creative argument papers – when one group presentation covered one of those concepts: the term monogamish.

Though I recall gay sex advice columnist and activist Dan Savage wrote an editorial about “monogamish” marriages, I’d never looked into it. Savage describes the idea of being mongamish as “mostly monogamous, not swingers, not actively looking.”

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for nearly five years now (shocking from Out Front’s sexuality reporter, I know). There is no “ish” about our relationship – we’ve never opened it up to other parties or modified how we define what we are.

Maybe I’ve been living my life too much “inside the box.” Call me old–fashioned, but I’ve seen relationships black–and–white affairs. I guess I’ve assumed that being in a relationship it means you want to be with that one person, and so you enter a monogamous agreement. I also recognized that one partner doesn’t cut it for some people, so they either play monogamous and cheat, or intentionally adopt a polyamorous lifestyle. But after doing a bit of research and asking around, I’ve discovered that there’s a lot more than those ends of the spectrum.

“Monogamish” struck a chord with me, mostly because I don’t understand it. What’s the difference between a monogamish relationship and an “open relationship?” Is it only for married couples? Is it found outside of LGBT relationships? How do you distinguish what’s right for your relationship with your partner?

Joshua Pierce, a friend, LGBT activist and recent graduate from the Metropolitan State University of Denver, has been in a relation58

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ship with the same man for nearly a year now.

I’ve seen the two of them have their spats from time to time, and I’ve also known them each to engage in encounters with other men. Nonetheless, they come home to each other at the end of the day.

“I guess the arrangement the two of us have is what you’d call ‘monogamish,’” Pierce said.

“We’re faithful to each other in the sense that we’re honest about what’s going on. We don’t just say, ‘OK, have a good time sleeping with everybody in town and we’ll see what happens.’

We acknowledge that our commitment is to one another, regardless of what our sex life entails.”

Pierce said he and his partner don’t consider themselves in an “open relationship,” and describes a “deeper understanding of what’s going on” with the two of them.

“When we wake up in the morning, I don’t roll over and say, ‘I think I’ll fuck that twink barista that works at our Starbucks today,’” Pierce said.

“That’s not what we’re doing. I’m in love with my partner and don’t want anything between the two of us to change. But if we both feel like we’re experiencing a lull in our relationship, then we’re OK to satisfy that need elsewhere.”

Pierce and his partner help “monogamish” make sense, but after a few more hours of research I found myself reeling over polyfidelitous relationships.

It’s another of many ways people do relationships and sex. In polyfidelitous relationships, all members – three or more partners – are considered equal in the relationship. According to the Polyamory Society, members of the polyfidelitous group are sexually exclusive; they don’t hook up outside the group. Although I’m in neither a monogamish nor a polyfidelitous relationship, I have developed a deeper respect for those who are.

Is monogamy going out of style? Maybe it is to an extent. But maybe there are just many more legitimate options now, which we’re more open to talk about as parts of human nature, relationships and curiosity.

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

Shanna Katz

– Wondering in Wittier

Hello Wondering in Wittier; That is an outstanding question, and one that actually requires us to look out how we define orgasms, academically, scientifically, and as a society.

One group out there says there is just one type of orgasm for everyone; it’s just facilitated through different types of stimulation. They feel that the end result (pleasure, endorphins, etc) is the same so it’s silly to define them separately.

Another group, mostly of those focused on scientific and academic ways of thinking, have worked to define four distinctly–different orgasms, based on the type of stimulation a female body (or any body assigned female at birth) receives. These four ways are generally presented as clitoral, vaginal, combined clitoral and vaginal, and g-spot (or urethral sponge).

Lastly, there are folks, myself included, that are looking to redefine orgasms and remind people that they don’t have to be genital–centric at all. One example is a woman who was in a car accident and is now a quadriplegic. Although her body no longer has the use of the pudendal nerve (the pelvic nerve thought to be necessary for orgasms), she and her partner have worked out a way where he strokes her cheek and she can climax. Brain scans have shown she has the same neural activity as people experiencing genital orgasms, and demonstrates that orgasms are not tied solely to the genitals but the mind.

Additionally, between 10 and 20 percent of women can have breast orgasms from nipple stimulation. Others have anal orgasms.

The simple answer to your question is that if we open our minds to the question “what is an orgasm and how does it need to happen,” people of all sexes and genders can have an indefinite variety of orgasms.

Rather than confining ourselves to one type, or four types – we can recognize the whole complexity and diversity of sexual pleasure.

– Shanna Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is board certified sexologist. r More: ShannaKatz.com

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HEINZESIGHT

Balancing friendships and casual sex Dear Brent, I think that I’m a pretty normal guy.

I’m out there meeting people to developing new friendships and have some great sex along the way, but seem to be finding people wanting either anonymous sex or to jump quickly into a committed relationship. I’m not necessarily opposed to either, but neither is high on my list – why can’t it be both friendship and sex?

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It definitely can work that way – and you’re preaching to the choir. Our culture is broken into many distinct tribes with different perspectives – some that feel that sexual expression is something reserved for those whom you are dating or have a strong possibility of dating, others are looking for a ‘wham–bam, thank you, Sir!’ Some enjoy interactions anonymously with the “no strings attached” label to keep the development of feelings theoretically off the table – though they sometimes happen anyway.

In between these is a group of people who feel that friendship, emotional intimacy, and sexual expression can all be acceptable parts of interpersonal relationships with others. Though many times these people are seen as renegades, selfish, or non-committal.

Many friendships have developed after a hot, sweaty romp – leading to the discovery of commonalities, cultivated over time. I propose that these types of connections are just as valid as any other kind of relationship. It

living

ships should play out. can provide amazing fulThey may feel more fillment and enjoyment comfortable stating firm while giving us the opexpectations and deportunities to explore scriptions of the nature ourselves and others. of your relationship, Let’s focus on how almost like an emotional to find those who share and behavioral contract. your physical, emotional, It needs to be a good fit sexual, and interpersonfor both people. Comal search for openness patibility has to exist on and variety. Being honest Brent Heinze many levels.

– communicating your I’ve been told that people like you desires and what type of connections you are looking for – is at the core of are uncommon, but please have no finding those who agree. Although fear. There are like–minded people you may be more of a free spirit, the out there for you to connect with majority of people out there may on many different levels. I would not fully relate to how you see the implore you to ensure that you are world of potential friendly activities. being as upfront as possible about Unfortunately there are also some your interests, boundaries, and exwho will tell you they’re on the same pectations. Continue your search page, but will be secretly pushing to and don’t compromise your own change your mind and put a ring of desires and convictions to connect with people in ways that you monogamy on your finger.

There are relationships that defy believe in. convention and challenge previous ideas of acceptability. Additionally, Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed prothere are people who have a firm fessional counselor. r Email him at idea of how interpersonal relation- PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

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Envisioned by Boberto

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