@ThatEnglishmanInTexas

As may be patently obvious with the username @ThatEnglishmanInTexas - I am not a Texan. But is it that simple?

As someone who’s been visiting Texas for 20 years, married to a Texan for 16 years and a Texan home-owner for 10 years in central Texas, I have a somewhat unique perspective on what makes a Texan. You see, for me Texas isn’t just a state; it’s a state of mind.

While there is many a proud Texan descended from the original settlers, I have also met the other kind of Texan that ‘got here as fast as possible’.

I often say it’s hard to explain Texas if you haven’t been here. What makes it even harder is you’d be hard pressed to find a person on the planet that isn’t aware of Texas. It’s iconic. Even the shape of the state would make any PR or Marketing executive thrilled (enjoy your boring rectangle Colorado!). But with that notoriety comes it’s own problems, because I have found that this notoriety is often accom-panied by misapprehensions galore.

Blame it on movies, country songs or just the Mandela effect but ask your average non-Texan to de-scribe Texas they’re probably going to start describing Arizona in the 1800s. ‘Dusty’, ‘desolate’, ‘horses’, ‘cowboys’ - not one mention of the wildflowers, hill country or proper bbq.

My inspiration for creating ThatEnglishman came from a feeling that Texas is a massively misunderstood state. But in all my experiences I have found that the real, true-blue Texan is one of the friendliest people you’re liable to meet on this little blue dot hurtling through the universe.

And this should come as no surprise - in fact it’s staring everyone in the face with the official state motto of Texas. No, it’s not “Don’t Mess With Texas” or “Come And Take It” (as much as a small part of us all wishes it was).

It is, in fact, “Friendship”. Most likely chosen because the name of Texas or Tejas was the Spanish pronunciation of the Caddo nation’s (the native Americans for this part of the world’s) word ‘teyshas’ or ‘thecas’ meaning ‘friends’ or ‘allies’.

It’s literally in the name - Friends. To be Texan is to be a friend to others and, as we’re all aware, a Texan has never met a stranger.

You’re liable to get whiplash at how quickly a Texan might welcome you into their home or family. Blink and you might miss the ice cold Shiner Bock being slipped into your hands as they pile far too much potato salad on to your plate to accompany some divine smelling meats before eventually talking you in to a game of Texas Hold’em where they keep a wary eye on you for the infamous “beginner’s luck” (trust me it’s an observable anomaly). Now don’t get me wrong - Texans don’t suffer fools. If you’re rude you’ll be shown the door, if you’re an idiot you’ll be on the receiving end of the endlessly versatile “bless your heart” (which I’ll save for another time). But in all honesty, I’ve hardly seen a raised voice or lost temper in all my years in the Lone Star State.

EXCEPT, of course, on the roads and highways. Because inside every friendly Dr Jeckyllian Texan is the Mr Hyde of psychopathic drivers. It doesn’t quite compute for me. The equation doesn’t balance. Where is all this rage coming from? What’s the big rush? All I know is that the Oscar winning movie ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ is actually inspired by the daily experience of rush hour on one of Houston’s many highways. Looking to give yourself a panic attack? Drive one loop around DFW airport around 5pm. Gone is the ‘after you’ vibe of your average Texan and in it’s place is the ‘move or die’ vibe of Im-mortum Joe.

This is no surprise to a Texan, in fact not only are Texans aware of this dichotomy they’re all really kind of proud of it. Yes you’re nice people but drive 70mph in the left lane of I-35 when another Texan has places to be and you had better believe there is some colourful language being screamed in your gen-eral direction along with a ‘wave’ that involves just the one finger.

I was born in Hong Kong. I’ve also lived in the UK, Singapore, New Zealand and Arizona. I’ve traveled to almost 50 countries around the world.

The reason I mention this is I hope it gives weight to the statement that I’ve never experienced a place quite like Texas. Is Texas perfect? No. Nowhere in the world is. But what Texas does have is an intrinsic sense of pride. Texas is an exclusive club - but if you’re willing to learn you can gain membership.

Learn their ways and their mindset and you too can become one of them. Before you know it you’ll be having 20 minute conversations with strangers in H-E-B, you’ll find yourself “fixing to” do something before gathering with friends and spending 14 hours smoking half a cow while sipping on beers and telling stories. After finishing my first full year in Texas I like to think that I’ve been accepted as one of you, or should I say “y’all”?