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one What’s Happening to

My Body?

Puberty changes, and how a child views his own body and that of others

Puberty is the process of physical changes that occur when a child’s body develops into an adult’s body, and is essentially the body’s way of preparing for reproduction. Puberty changes are triggered by weight. Because today’s children have better nutrition and health, they reach the critical weight earlier, and therefore experience puberty earlier.

Boys and girls hit puberty at different ages. Typical changes include:

• Boys (around ages 12–16): Their voices deepen, muscles start to grow, genitals grow bigger, hair starts to grow on the face and chest, and they experience erections and wet dreams. • Girls (around ages 10–14): Their breasts develop and hips widen, and they experience menstruation. • Both: Their sweat glands become more active, which may result in body odour, hair grows in armpits and pubic areas, and they experience growth spurts.

Puberty can be disturbing and confusing to children. They may become more conscious of their physical looks and bodies. They may start comparing themselves to their peers on a physical level. And, they may feel upset or embarrassed by how they look. Why do I have so many pimples? Why am I growing hair here? These are but some of the anxious questions that children may ask themselves.

It is valuable for parents to reassure children during this period of physical development. Help them feel comfortable about the changes they are experiencing, which are all part of the natural development of human beings, and reassure them with wisdom from God’s Word.

In construction work, a plumbline is used to ensure that walls are constructed vertically so that the building stands perfectly upright. In the same way, we can impress upon our kids the absolute standards of God’s Word.

Such spiritual plumblines will help them stand upright in their faith.

There are three truths we can share with our children.

Plumbline #1: We are wonderfully made in God’s image

The Bible makes it clear that God was delighted with the first man and woman He created. Every one of us is beautiful in His eyes:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well . . .

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. —Psalm 139:13–16

We can assure our children that they are made in God’s own image. The physical changes brought about by puberty are part of the expected development that everyone goes through.

One of the key applications of being wonderfully

made in God’s image is: don’t compare. In God’s good timing, some will experience puberty earlier, while others, later. If your child is affected because he is comparing himself with his friends, you can encourage him by emphasising the next spiritual plumbline.

Plumbline #2: God does not look at the outward appearance, but at the heart

During this period when our kids may be hyperconscious about their looks and what the world extols as attractive and desirable, we can share with them that God looks at the heart:

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The

LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” —1 Samuel 16:7

When the Old Testament prophet Samuel was trying to identify whom God would choose as king, he gravitated towards those who impressed him with their external looks. However, God told him that He did not look at the outward appearance. It is our heart that God examines, and as His followers, we can encourage our children to care more about the state of their heart than

the state of their hair, skin, face, teeth, muscles (or lack of), and other body parts.

Plumbline #3: We are made male and female

The Bible gives us a godly view of gender and sexuality: God made us male and female.

God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. —Genesis 1:27

There is a growing trend in the world where children are allowed to “choose” their gender. This can be confusing for children. Teaching children a godly view of sexuality and gender will help them understand how God made them, and how we are to relate to each other as men and women.

Start the Conversation

If we can start the conversation about puberty early and present these three spiritual plumblines, we can help our children anchor themselves on biblical truths. Then, they will not be swept away by the different worldviews they may encounter, or be left feeling insecure when they experience puberty. Here are some conversation starters to help you start discussions with your kids:

1. Read Psalm 139:13–16 together. Ask: How can we see from this passage that God is with us in our past and future? What does this mean for us when we are feeling anxious?

What can we remember from this passage as our bodies start to develop and change? 2. Ask your children to write down their top five anxieties about their bodies and looks.

They can share them with you if they want, or they can choose to keep the list private.

Read 1 Samuel 16:1–13 together. Ask: Why is our physical appearance important? What are some ways we can end up giving our physical appearance too much importance? What are some signs that we may be over-emphasising outward appearance? What does God emphasise? What is the state of our heart? How can we make sure we care about our heart? 3. Ask your children what they have heard about the trend of people who are unsure about their gender identity. Ask them what they think the Bible says about this. Read Genesis 1:27 together.