Why Gratitude Brings Happiness

By Lisa Payne

The holiday season always seems to come with high expectations for cozy, festive experiences. Perfect meals, perfect gifts, perfect company. But in reality, the holidays can be stressful and sad for so many people for so many different reasons. Fortunately, something that can help lift your spirits is built right into our Thanksgiving holiday – being grateful.

Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them feel happier. It helps refocus on what you have versus what you lack. At first this practice may feel contrived, but with practice and use, our mental state grows stronger.

Last week I was having one of those weeks where my whole focus was that my kids are growing up too fast. I was missing my toddlers and feeling sad that my four now prefer friends and their phones to hanging with mom. No one tells you that this seems to happen overnight! I was starting to slip into a negative spiral over it. But then a beautiful moment happened at school drop off.

A perfect stranger came up to my car after my three middle schoolers got out. She told me that I must be doing something right because she watched all three of my kids come around to my side of the car and hug and kiss me goodbye and say I love you right in front of all of their friends. She said she now drops off grandkids and watches families rush in and out and doesn’t see the pause for connection very often and that I should feel proud my kids take the time. Wow.

After she drove away, I shed a few tears of gratitude. I was so thankful that she took the time to say those words to me. Her ten seconds of acknowledgement changed my perspective. I know that I get to have that exchange with my kids every day, but I wasn’t feeling grateful for it. I was taking it for granted and feeling sorry for myself that they prefer friends and Snapchat. But guess what? It’s normal behavior for them to want those things AND they still love me and show me every single day. I spent the rest of the day feeling grateful for that stranger and grateful for this next phase of life with my children.

Let’s look for what we already have. Pause long enough to notice. Name three things to be grateful for every morning when you wake up. And when you notice someone else doing something right, take the time to tell them. Even if it’s a stranger. You never know how they are feeling on the inside, and your words could brighten their day.

I recently saw a quote about the fall season that said “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.” May we all find something to let go of this season and fill the space with gratitude for what we already have.

Lisa Payne writes about home, family, and food. You can reach her at lisa@paynefam6.com.