BUSY FAMILIES How to Rekindle Romance in Time for Valentine’s Day

By Lisa Payne

One of the strongest beliefs that my husband and I have in our relationship is this; in order to show up in the best way possible for our kids we must put our relationship first. But shouldn’t the kids come first?

That was my thinking for a long time. My husband, from day one, made sure we did date night every week. That was so easy before kids, date night was every night. But once we started popping those kids out, it all changed.

I didn’t want to leave the kids. It felt like we had just had our date and then it would roll around again and I wasn’t ready. I was tired. I felt guilty leaving. Let’s just skip this week. But nope, he held us to it. And afterwards I was always so thankful for his perseverance. And at every date we would toast “to happiness.” one act of service from my husband that makes me feel incredibly loved … vacuum!

Always the same toast, even to this day.

It is so easy to get caught up in life and not keep your relationship at the forefront. But I came to realize that if we as a couple stayed strong, happy, in love, and connected, our kids couldn’t help but feel happy and secure too.

We all need a little reminder from time to time to check in on our own connections with our partner. To make sure passion isn’t giving way to routine. And what a better time than in time for Valentine’s Day. What a gift to give our spouse! And the best part is it is usually the small things that mean the most.

One way is to schedule structured time together. We do date night, but yours could be coffee each morning together, a walk after work, or even a mid-day text telling your partner one reason why you are grateful for them that day. Also look back to the things you enjoyed doing together when you first fell in love and surprise them with a night out dancing, a cooking class, or whatever your interests were.

There are not enough surprises in life, and romance thrives on thoughtfulness. Small, unexpected acts of love go a long way in reminding your partner how much you love them. Leave a hand written, heartfelt note in their lunch bag. Prepare their favorite meal by candlelight. My number

A fun thing to do together is to reflect back on the good times. Bring up a funny situation or reminisce about when you first met. This always brings laughs and the kids LOVE these stories. Get physical! One thing my husband and I do everyday is we hug for 20 seconds. At first I was like, really? That seems silly. But every time he comes in for the hug I know how calm and connected I feel to him afterwards. To be held tight, and to feel each other simply breathing for those seconds is really special. The world stops and your body instantly relaxes. I highly recommend trying this.

I wish you all a rekindled, romantic Valentine’s Day and every day going forward.

Lisa Payne writes about home, food, and family. You can reach her at paynefam6@gmail.com.