Osborne Times

Osborne Times Volume 1, Issue 1

OCTOBER ISSUE

Osborne Spirit Surges at School’s 3rd Annual Gravy Bowl!

Students & teachers face-off yet again at Lillian Osborne’s annual pre-Thanksgiving football game!

SCHOOL EVENTS Lutfi Muhammed

Pumped with whopping amounts of school spirit, teachers and students at Lillian Osborne gathered in masses at the school’s grassy field on October 8, a bright and sunny Thursday afternoon during lunchtime, and cheered on their teams as both faced off once again at LO’s annual Gravy Bowl.

Exclusive to Lillian Osborne, ever since it had been founded in 2013, the Gravy Bowl had been a part of the school’s tradition, bringing about joy and excitement in the form of a football game between teachers and students, just prior to the Thanksgiving long weekend that usually follows. Hence the name “Gravy Bowl”.

“Because the school doesn’t

have a football team…it just started out as something we saw for fun, and it’s now turning into [an] awesome tradition and a very Legend-oriented tradition that’s really ours”, said Mrs. Gail Wilson, a Social Studies and Phys Ed teacher at Lillian Osborne and founder of LO’s annual Gravy Bowl. The Gravy Bowl had been devised 2 years ago in hopes of it to be a means of bringing students from all grades and teachers out onto

the field and creating a shared and joyful atmosphere with roaring school spirit, with facepainting and a variety of food trucks to top it all off.

“I think it’s a spirit thing to have the kids out and everyone out just doing something all together” said Mr. Murray Smith who is a Phys Ed teacher at Lillian Osborne.

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What’s the Hype?

CURRENT EVENTS Yifan Hu

JOYRICH 2015 Fall/Winter New Arrivals Retro-futuristic streetwear mixed with the iconic Coke brand? L.A. based streetwear brand, JOYRICH has yet another collab with Coca Cola mixing its casual rich twist on Coke’s

popular graphics and hues of red and white. From hoodies and trendy fur jackets to destroyed denim and vintage accessories, this collection has everything from every genre! It highlights JOYRICH’s signature vintage but futuristic vibe making it one of the most unique collections this month. Check out the latest JOYRICH merch now available on www.joyrichstore.com

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Gravy Bowl Continued “It just started out as something…for fun, and it’s now turning into [an] awesome… very Legendoriented tradition that’s really ours.”

Mrs. Wilson

Continued from page 1 In terms of victories achieved over the past 2 years, the very first win, being a clear shut-out victory, went to the mighty teachers, whereas the students entered strong in the second year and took back all the marbles, declaring theirs for the year. Scores had seemed satisfyingly tied ever since; however, with the help of “old brains and trickery”, comments Mr. Smith, a 2nd win had been achieved by the teachers themselves this year, beating students 34-41.

What added to the thrill of the event was the participation of former Eskimos who had played in the NFL, reason being (that partially accounts for the reason for such an event to have been

devised) that one of them had been related to Ms. Wilson.

“It kind of started with me, because in our household, football is very big deal” said Mrs. Wilson, “My husband was a former Eskimo and he used to play in the NFL as well…A lot of it started just because we wanted to have an atmosphere we don’t get, hell because we don’t have a football team”.

The student body’s council group, moreover, had contributed to the event’s excitement by including facepainting for the entire student body rather than just the players, and a wider variety of food trucks “We decided to kind of…pump it up this year,” said Azan Es-

mail, current student council president and 12th grade student, “because we wanted this to be a bigger event than just one of these side ones that nobody cares about.”

The Gravy Bowl is seen as a Legends tradition celebrated with lots of school spirit in a lively atmosphere, hoped to continue to remain one as the school progresses in the future.

“Just as long as students continue to make it important to them… and stay excited about it” added Mrs. Wilson, “…then all kinds of things can organically come from it and…can naturally get bigger to suit what is Lillian Osborne when it comes to things like that.”

What’s the Hype?

Sharp releases a new Robot Smartphone Japanese tech giant, Sharp released the RoBoHoN, a robotic smartphone that physically embodies a voice assistant. Built with facial recognition and a projector in its head as well as Sharp releases a new Robot the ability to perform what a Smartphone normal smartphone can do such as take photos and videos, send reminders, make calls, etc. It boasts a new developing kind of technology that involves interaction and has the apparent ability to scare your children. Sharp promises that this strange product will hit markets in 2016.

Rainbow Doritos in Support of LGBTQ+ Community

Rainbow Doritos in Support of LGBTQ+ Community A great way support a community and enjoy a twist on an iconic snack. Doritos has just launched a “Rainbows” version of its popular tortilla chips in support of the LGBTQ+ community. In association with the It Gets Better Project, these chips have made a jump in the food industry by supporting a very insightful community. The bags of chips won’t be available for general purchase in-stores but you can buy them online at itgetsbetterproject.org and all proceeds go towards in supporting the project.

McDonald’s unveils the Gray Burger Fast food chain restaurant, McDonald’s has unveiled an all new gray version and twist of an iconic menu favourite; the burger. Known as the “Modern China Burger,” it consists of a large pork patty, bacon, iceberg lettuce and dressing sandwiched between two delicious black sesame buns. However, the burger is only available in China till November 3.

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Cross Country Team Finishes Another Season with Success!

SCHOOL SPORTS Maha Mahmood

Congrats to the Lillian Osborne Cross Country Team! They had a short yet successful season sending 2 people to provincials this year. Special congratulations to Daniella Wasielewski for winning provincials second year in a row! Well done to the rest of the team as well for coming super close, and special thanks to Mr. Robertson for spending his time coaching the team the past 2 months. That includes assisting with training, leading practices, making sure the girls got to and

from meets safe and most importantly being supportive and encouraging.

We’ve had returning members as well as new members which was great to see, this year at zones we had 4 girls compete in the junior division, 1 in intermediate and 2 in senior, and for the guys 2 in the senior division. Our junior girls competed running 3 kilometres, intermediate and senior girls ran 4 kilometres and our senior boys 6 kilometers.

Everyone ran super hard and gave it their all despite the heat and challenging course at Lower

Gold Bar Park, proudly representing our school in their bright red and blue team shirts.

Remember you too can join next year and take a place in this fun packed season, this is an open roster sport where anyone who enjoys running can join!

A Walk to Remember SCHOOL EVENTS Janessa Gritter

Lillian Osborne students can be seen from the Anthony Henday retrieving water from the North Saskatchewan River. Over three hundred students walked five kilometers to raise awareness for the similar journey one billion people have to take every single day.

“I’m passionate about saving lives in India,” says Sharon Gritter, one of the co-organizers of this event. Ms. Beebe, another co-organizer, and Ms. Gritter hope to take students to India one day to hand deliver these filtration systems.

“So it’s a dream come true to see so many people walk to raise money for children on the other side of the world who they will never meet.” On the morning of September 29th, the entire class of grades tens were joined by thirty students from Ormsby Elementary

School to walk down to the river. They filled their milk jugs with water and journeyed back.

This group simulated what a regular family in India would have to do daily. Hillary Minde, a grade ten student at Lillian Osborne who took part in the walk, talks about the experience. “It’s not something you really get to do. It was interesting to actually experience the things you’re taught about in school.” The people who took part in the walk were encouraged to fundraise for water filters. Bio-sand water filters are made in developing countries, and they remove pathogens and filter out 99.9% of the bacteria using rocks, gravel and sand.

Unclean water is a pressing issue for these countries, since it is estimated that every nineteen seconds a child dies from water related issues. Thanks to the grade ten students, six thousand five hundred dollars was raised for India to purchase water filters. This

has been the second annual water walk to raise money for those in need of the precious gift of clean water. To date we have now raised over $13,000 For the families and schools who are in need of this gift, our students’ footsteps will change their lives.

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Hottest New Fashion App CURRENT EVENTS Sara Mokhtari

If you love fashion and following up on the latest fashion trends and runway designs then you’re going to freak out and get just as excited as I got when I came across the VogueRunway app in the app store. This app is absolutely fantastic for anyone who is in love with fashion, style and who has an apple product such as an iPhone, iPad, or iPod. Unfortunately the Play Store doesn’t offer this app yet but considering the technological world that we live in, I would guess that you’d be able to find the app in the Play Store in the near future.

Until now I had to follow hundreds of designers’ Instagram accounts or go on the website whenever I wanted to see a specific designers fashion show or follow up on the newest trends.

But now, everything is accessible to everyone through one app.

This app is completely free and extremely user friendly. As you open the app, there are two options for you to choose from: Latest Shows and All Shows. Latest Shows gives you access to the last 50 shows that were shown anywhere around the world. At the moment the 50 include Bridal Fall 2016, spring 2016 Ready-To-Wear, and Tokyo Spring 2016. All Shows, however, gives you a chance to time travel through Fashion History and go as far back as 1991 and to sit front row to the fall 1991 Ready-ToWear Versace and Azzedine Alaia fashion shows.

It can also send you to Paris present time where you can catch the first look at the Chanel collection and Karl Lagerfeld and Cara Delevingne on the runway. The app is

very easy to use and it offers so much. For instance, it gives you every single look of every collection in any part of the world, and as you open each collection you have the option to read the review written about the collection by one of Vogue’s amazing writers. Furthermore, as you click on each look you are able to zoom in on extremely high quality pictures taken by professional photographers, in order to catch sight of every little detail.

Each photo also has information on the model, the photographer, and the website of the photographer. Also available are the options to email, text, pin or save any image on your device. Overall, this app is flawless in design and is the perfect thing for people who enjoy and love following the newest and hottest trends.

The Weeknd, Selena Gomez and more Upcoming Concerts MUSIC REVIEW Mary Honardar

Well I’m pretty sure everybody at this school knows about the Weeknd. His upcoming concert at YEG is the 30th of November. Tickets are on sale now so you guys better hurry up and purchase, but he is not the only one performing. A new American star is also going to be there.

The one and only Halsey on her badlands tour is going to

be side by side The Weeknd. And you thought this is it? Nope. DJ Travis Scott is also going to be blowing up this concert.

By the time this article will be posted, the news will be so old that my grandmother will be disappointed. Selena Gomez’s new album just hit the stores and GOD it is hot hot hot! Her most recent song “Same old Love” just released its music video and we weren't surprised. I totally recommend that everybody should download her album, I mean it’s an obligation everybody.

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Children at Work: The Effects of Child Labour GLOBAL ISSUES

Sophia Janmohamed Children’s rights such as the right to go to school, have health care and have protection from abuse, exploitation, and harmful substances are freedoms that all children are entitled to. Yet there are many, worldwide that are deprived of them. According to the United States Bureau of International Labour Affairs, in 2014, 77.8 million children were involved in child labour in Asia and the Pacific. These children include those as young as five years old to teenagers of seventeen.

They are not only forced to leave behind their educations, but must work in dangerous environments and occupations unfit for any human, let alone children. At this moment, there are children in many countries living in such poverty that they must abandon school to work so that they can care for their families.

One of the countries that has specifically harsh child labour is the Philippines. Children work mostly in agriculture, industry, and scavenging.

Many children in poverty ridden villages such as Malaya, Camarines Norte dig for gold in unsafe mines. With no equipment, they are lowered about 25 meters into the ground into caves that could collapse at any time. To prevent suffocation, they breathe through small

tubes, and stay digging underground for hours at a time. Just last year, two brothers were killed by suffocation in a mine that the oxygen did not reach.

To process the gold ore that is found, children mix it with mercury which they then burn.

This releases harmful toxins into the air that children in particular are susceptible to and have no protection against.

The mercury poisoning can lead to long term illnesses and cancer. Many children start to experience the effects of it at young ages.

Though the government in the Philippines banned this practice earlier this year, the law is not enforced, and children have no other ways to provide for themselves.

Another very dangerous type of mining, though worked on somewhat less than the underground mines by children, is called compressor mining. This is when a person is lowered 10 meters underwater in shafts for up to three hours at a time to dive for the gold. The water is unclean, and once again there is no equipment except for breathing tubes attached to air compressors. The risks of drowning, acquiring bacterial illnesses, and suffering from decompression sickness are

high in this work. The oxygen is often cut off quickly forcing the worker to try to reach the surface in time to breathe again. There are laws in the Philippines making both types of mining illegal for individuals under eighteen years old, but they are not at all implemented in reality.

This is only one form of child labour that youth living in poverty must endure to survive.

Child labour is a huge, long term issue that has a large impact on many families around the world. Asia holds a large portion of the world’s population living in poverty, and child labour is the only option for many children.

Governments of the countries where this work is happening need to step in and provide income and aid so that families may send their children back to schools, and out of dangerous labour. Organizations such as the United Nations, UNICEF, and the International Labour Organization have taken action to raise awareness for, and protect children from child labour, but it is far from being resolved. To learn more about these actions, visit any of these organizations’ sites. Child labour is an immense, far reaching issue that much of the world turns a blind eye to, and must be given more attention if it is to be resolved.

In 2014, 77.8 Million Children Were Involved In Child Labour in Asia and the Pacific

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Edmonton’s Hottest Foods RESTAURANT REVIEWS Yifan Hu

In Edmonton, we pride ourselves in many things; our hockey team, our history and our festivals. But most of all, due to our very diverse cultures, we have the BEST food in Alberta.

You just need to know where to look.

Edmonton’s Best DonairQueen Donair Price Range: $$ - 10752 Jasper Avenue NW

Café Mosacics

Located on Whyte Ave, this sassy little food stop prides itself by plastering the title of “Edmonton’s Best Donair” at the front of their building.

Queen Donair has a reputation for having the best donair meat in the city as well as adding the perfect amount of ingredients to add that perfect crunch to your pita. If you’re ever hungry and roaming around Jasper Ave, a quick stop at Queen Donair can’t go wrong!

Authentic German Pretzels- Artistic Bake Shop Price Range: $$ - 6820 104 St NW Owned by a German family and located at 104 St., this artisan looking bakery has everything you’re looking for if you want to get a taste of Germany and its sweets. From authentic German pretzels to cheesecake, the sweet goods displayed in the front window are sure to lure you in! Freshly baked goods everyday made from the finest local and international ingredients, you’re guaranteed to keep returning.

Their pretzels are definitely a staple and worth trying.

Vegan Hotspot- Cafe Mosaics Price range: $$ and a half 10844 82 Avenue NW Definitely one of the best and only vegan exclusive restaurants in the city. Located on Edmonton’s most famous urban street; Whyte Ave. Its artsy atmosphere only adds more oomph to the Whyte Ave vibe this cafe gives off. For $15, you

can score yourself a lovely vegan burger and side combo.

Their menu also includes classic vegan versions of Asian staples such as onion cakes and hot pot. Nutritious and delicious (also made from local produce), this cafe is definitely a must-go for any vegan/ vegetarian out there. Tip: get their vegan chocolate cake; you’ll dream about it for ages!

Fresh Fruit Boba- Bubble T Price range: $ - 10015 109 Avenue Bubble tea is a classic staple drink hailing all the way from Taiwan. However, it is hard to find authentic boba made from REAL fresh fruit. But thankfully, our friends on 109 Street, Bubble T has our back. You can specify the type of sweetener you would like (honey, sugar, syrup, etc.) or go with au naturel and just plain fruit. And, to all my vegan friends out there, you could even ask the server to substitute milk with soy at no extra cost! The friendly and polite staff are always happy to serve you in order to make every boba drink your best.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion BOOK REVIEW Rhea Aery

The Rosie Project Graeme Simsion Romantic Comedy ★★★★★ Don Tillman is a genetics professor at the University of Mel-

bourne. Don also has Asperger syndrome. The thing is he doesn’t know it, he thinks that he’s just more rational, honest and precise than other people.

Don is an extremely well organized man and one day he decides he wants a wife. So what does he do? He collects data and writes up a survey for women to complete so he can ensure that he’s found the right partner, you know make sure that she's never late, eats meat and doesn’t smoke, the usual

stuff. After all it’s the most practical way to get something done and not waste time.

Rosie Jarman. Rosie smokes (occasionally), is perpetually late and is a pescatarian. Rosie is also trying to find her biological father. Don and Rosie become friends and soon Don sets aside “The Wife Project” Continued on page 7

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The Rosie Project Continued Continued from last page and starts a new one, now aiming to find Rosie’s father.

I got ‘The Rosie Project’ for my birthday and for two weeks it sat on my bedside table untouched. When I finally read it I finished it in 2 days. It's AMAZING! The reader gets to see what's going on in Don’s life in a unique due to his Asperger’s, and because Don is so observant the reader knows what Rosie is thinking as well (even if

Don doesn’t understand). The writing is done at a level where it’s not too simple but not too confusing either. Don is a genetics professor though and since the book is in his P.O.V there is a lot of talk about genetics but that can easily be skipped. The supporting characters are also complex characters, even though they aren’t the main ones, and that makes the story even more entertaining. The actual plot of the story is developed so well and it’s so interesting, it’s not just a simple

Romantic Comedy. It’s a well thought out piece of Art. I recommend ‘The Rosie Project” to everyone who's ever read (or watched) and enjoyed a romantic comedy. 5/5 stars.

Fails to Write Title Correctly CREATIVE WRITING Emily Harvey

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”~~~ Mark Twain As Ernest Hemingway once said, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

There are many reasons why someone wouldn’t want to be a writer. Firstly, it’s incredibly boring, the act of sitting on a chair, desk or bed for hours behind a computer screen or above a blank page. The dirtied hands of smudged pencil lead, strips of your eraser everywhere. Pacing around your room, not knowing how to continue, countless nights without sleep, waiting for the sun to rise with a new idea. Characters that won’t come alive.

The improper use of the comma, the colon or the semicolon. The sneers you have to

face when you share your work, those unspoken fears finally coming to life. The anxiety of your piece simply not being good enough. Those poems about thoughts that people will not understand.

The people that they won’t know. All those places you’ve seen that will never be unseen.

Cryptic stories you want them to read; not to comprehend.

Those essays that have the layout that you cannot seem to follow, though you have written what was asked even better than they could have conceived. Yet you fail. The stories you write about your friends who refuse to read them. The adventures you create out of a painting that was burned by doubts, never shared.

Yet there are those idiots who don’t give a damn.

They write, they don’t stop writing even though nobody cares. The ones who laugh at their dialogue, the ones who re -enact their favourite scenes.

Who force people to read their work, brazenly showcasing their best and worst? The idiots who want to read first

every time, not caring that other people are getting tired of hearing their voice. Not caring that they’ve read that piece three times that week.

They just know how the piece makes them feel. The sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing they did a damn good job. The feeling they get when the class is silent, no one daring to breathe for fear of ruining what they just heard.

That silence. That silence that never comes after a musical performance, the silence that is different from that of the people viewing art. This silence, this silence is the reason those idiots don’t give a damn. There is a special gift required to hear that needle. It’s a special gift that many people receive, but don’t utilize. The way a writer can silence a room with fourteen lines, three acts or a single paragraph is frowned upon because you cannot see it.

There are many reasons why someone would want to be a writer.

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Fails to Write Title Correctly Continued The feeling of the keys under your fingers, the pencil forcing indents in the flesh of your fingertips. The pencil smudges so avoided by other people is artwork. The smell, the smell of all those ideas you have yet to show. The smell of the paper with droplets of coffee splattered across. The smell of your cigarette burning from your mouth as you viciously scrawl words on the page.

The smell that arises from all those missed opportunities that you can recreate in the light of a thirteen year old lamp with a light bulb you really should replace. But you don’t. That lightbulb has been there for you for six years. Removing it is like erasing your favourite character.

Why do I enjoy being a writer? Or better yet, why do I enjoy breathing? I don’t enjoy being a writer, just as I do not enjoy breathing. Breathing is natural, it keeps me alive. The same can and must be said for writing. Every breath I take, every move I make, is all from some sort of fantastic piece that I am writing and re-

enacting in my brain that is carried out into the world. It goes hand in hand with my addiction of counting the amount of syllables I hear in music, observe in conversation or read in literature. These scenes I create never go without me tapping my fingers, counting the beats, aiming for perfect I am Pen. Obsessive?

Most likely. Necessary? Absolutely. Is that a sufficient answer? Probably not.

I write because written words allow me to express myself in ways the spoken word simply cannot. It is true that many people don’t write how they speak, yet I do. The fact of the matter is, writing allows me to portray myself as the intellectual person I am, not the buffoon who can’t sit on a chair. When I write I allow my guard to be dropped. I write because I can live in worlds not of my own and make fates for characters who I am. I write, simply because I can write. I write, simply because people read.

and their alphabet. Anne Frank’s diary. I mean honestly, not to be rude, but the diary sure stuck around longer than Anne did, unfortunately. Even if the original piece is destroyed, someone will remember and recreate it, not perfectly, but writing still sticks around. People will talk about other stories they read, poems they try to understand. Essays they cannot wait to finish marking. It’s natural for people to share things that are interesting to them; it’s what makes conversation. It’s what makes people, people.

The truest thing about writing is this: it will stick around. Ancient Egyptians and their hieroglyphs. The Greek

The Entomologist’s Dream CREATIVE WRITING M.D.M

Bang! Bang! Dead silence. Scraping against a wall, then a sigh in contented accomplishment.

Mr. Rodolfo, the Entomologist, looked around the room with ease. His collection of butterflies was coming along greatly. Yes,

he had about twenty to thirty cases of the colourful bugs, but it was his life’s work and he was happy with them. Mr. Rodolfo did have to admit that it was kind of creepy to have these dead bugs in your room, watching him while he slept, but it didn’t faze him in the least.

After he put up two more cases, he went into his study – once he got his favorite chamomile tea – and started some

more work. Awards and the most important discoveries littered the walls, and records, journals, books, and many written reports were strewn across the floor in boxes and on the desk. It was a wonder that Mr. Rodolfo could find anything, but since he had an Eidetic memory, it was no problem to find what he was looking for.

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The Entomologist’s Dream Continued For the rest of the afternoon, Mr. Rodolfo worked on notes and journal entries. A knock at his door brought him begrudgingly out of the comfort of his office. The housekeeper, Ms. Tawana, was dropping off some groceries and offered to make him some dinner. Mr. Rodolfo accepted with a kind heart and ushered her in from the crisp, snowy evening. From his office, Mr. Rodolfo could hear the woman bustling about in the kitchen, making her famed pot pie, while humming a little tune.

An hour later, with the succulent scent of the pie still lingering around the house, Mr. Rodolfo said goodbye to Ms. Tawana, wishing her a safe and warm journey home. He was an old romantic, Mr. Rodolfo, and he had the type of humor that could knock a horse dead.

But he had the words of a famous poet, and could make anyone happy in the worst of days.

With another cup of chamomile tea and a cup of coffee, including a large yawn later, Mr. Rodolfo was already in ed, ready for some sleep. Closing his eyes, he imagined the little butterflies in a meadow, far away from him and drifted off to sleep. *** Soft sounds, like something moving – but what? A breeze from the heating system, or the rustle of a drap moving from

the breeze?

No. It was the soft sound of wings flapping, fluttering around.

Mr. Rodolfo peeled one eye open, and looked around the dark room.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Closing his eye, he turned around and fell back asleep.

The soft sound started again.

It was light at first, but then got faster and violent, almost.

There was a crash and then another, followed by another, followed by breaking glass.

Then it was nothing but the soft sound of wings moving through and in the air.

Mr. Rodolfo’s eyes snapped open and he sat bolt up-right, thinking that someone was breaking into his house and was coming up the stairs to murder him. Only what registered in his mind was nothing compared to what he actually saw.

At first, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Butterflies were flying around the room of all different shapes, colors, and sizes. They flew out of their cases and around the room, free at last from their glass and wooden cage. But how had

they gotten the pins out? Maybe they were magical butterflies that had come to Mr. Rodolfo to say to let their brothers’, sisters’, and children go. To let them be free and beautiful.

It was obvious to him that this was just a dream. Why, it was absurd to even think that butterflies could do that in reality.

The man must be having a mental breakdown, or it was just the after-effects of chamomile tea and coffee together.

Bad to have too much caffeine, you know.

One of the little creatures came flying towards Mr. Rodolfo’s face and he felt as the delicate, soft, and almost papery wing brushed along his cheek.

Another came by him and landed on his right shoulder, sitting quietly and peacefully like there were no troubles at all.

It was almost as if it had known Mr. Rodolfo for a very long time.

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Entertainment COMICS

Julieta Dikova Volume 1, Issue 1

Volume 1, Issue 1

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Entertainment

Entertainment COMICS

Annie Xie

JOKES

Amrin Virji

Dad Jokes 1. “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’”

2. “Me: ‘Hey, I was thinking…”Dad: ‘I thought I smelled something burning.’”

3. “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”

4. “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”

5. “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”

6. “Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”

7. “Where does the poor meatball live?” “Spaghetto”

CREDITS EDITOR: P a r a n d M oh a n d e s i CONTRIBUTERS: L ut f i M uh a m m e d Y if a n H u J a n e s s a Gr it te r S a r a M ok h t a r i M a h a M a h m oo d S op h ia J a n m oh a m e d Rh e a A e r y A n n ie X ie M a r y H on a r d a r E m i ly H a r ve y M .D .M J u l ie t a D ik o va A m r in V ir j i A ly s s a M a l li (L o g o) A b e n a M il le r ( L o go ) Special Thanks to: M s . B e e b e f or s up p or t in g t he O s b or n e N e w s C lub A n d Y e a r b oo k f or t h e ir e x ce l l e n t p h o t og r a p h y s k i lls .