Editors’ Letters When coming up with each of our print issue themes, Beth and I quickly agreed that intimacy would be a topic we had to include. As two young women in our early twenties, we have been grappling with the complexities of intimacy, whether in romantic, familial, or personal contexts, for quite some time now. For me, I have come to the conclusion that intimacy is not something you just suddenly understand. Perhaps that is why it is such a good concept for this issue, if I do say so myself.
Olivia Taylor
Often there is one particular form of intimacy that comes to mind in discussion about intimacy, however, I hope readers can see that in this issue, the exploration of our writers extends to the various other aspects of how intimacy manifests in our lives. When I think of intimacy, I often think about my own desire to be more intimate with my writing. I have always admired the writers who can be intimate with their own words. And by that, I mean those who can be vulnerable with their work, those who can truly put themselves into what they write. As someone who would often rather keep their feelings and opinions to themselves, allowing myself to be vulnerable with my writing is something that I am still learning about. For me, intimacy is more than just about being close to someone, it’s also about being close with yourself. Well, now you are a little ‘Close(r) To Me’, please do enjoy this latest issue of The Orbital Magazine!
As a student media outlet, Olivia and I felt it was important for us to give our team the opportunity to explore working around the theme of intimacy for one of our issues. Intimacy has many different forms, and can have a very different meaning to each individual. The idea of ‘finding yourself’ at university is something that only started to resonate with me recently. If you’ve listened to our podcast, you’ll know that myself and Olivia are big fans of the phrase “finding your niche.” Going through the process of doing this is, to me, a form of intimacy in itself. There is a perceived obligation for students to know what job they want to go into after graduation. I have realised that it can be more beneficial to allow yourself the time to figure out what makes you, you. Especially if you’re a writer, narrowing down your interests can be (without sounding too cliché) inspiring. University is where many of us meet people who become some of the most impactful in our lives. It is a huge, multifaceted learning experience, and one that allows you to form almost any kind of relationship you could possibly imagine, if you so choose. Reflecting on this, the bond I have with the friends who I live with is the first thing that comes to mind for me, when I think about this theme. These girls have seen me at my best, my most vulnerable, and everywhere in between, but they’ve chosen to love me anyway, and for that I owe them everything.
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I hope you enjoy the Intimacy edition of The Orbital, and add ‘Close To Me’ by The Cure to your winter playlist. Full credit to our wonderful Editor-in-Chief for the excellent song choice here.
Beth McCowen
Contents EDITOR'S LETTER Editorial Board | Contact Us
3 News 4 Luton Town Football Club Face £120,000 Fine for Homophobic Chants 5 The Intimacy of Politics Personal Essay Entry 6 It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over: Revisit Political Commentary Feature 7 Autumnal Anguish: Crisis in Parliament Amid National and International Crises Sports News Feature 9 An Interview with Kellie Cheung OPINION 11 Gated Communities: AIDS in the Queer Space 12 Are You Ghosting Me or Yourself? 13 Do I Know You? 15 Finding Identity in the Intimacy of Female Friendships 16 The Death of the Cool Girl Act 17 How Long Should I Wait to Reply? CULTURE 18 The Diana Dilemma Continues 19 A Review of ‘The Silent Patient’ by Alex Michaelides LIFESTYLE 21 Have We Invested in Intimacy? 22 Self-Intimacy: A Journey 23 The Cool Girls’ Guide to Shopping Slow Fashion 24 A Table for One, Please. SPORTs 25 Motherhood, the Sporting World and its Impacts 27 The Rise of Formula 1 CREATIVE WRITING 28 La Petite Mort 29 Fine Details 30 Love Letters 31 Bubbles 33 One Sweet Embrace 34 The Palace of Dreams 35 DEAR DAVIDSON, 36 THE CROSSWORD 37 Ask Orbital
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Editorial Board Editor-In-Chief: Olivia Taylor Deputy EIC: Beth McCowen Senior News Editor: Madelaine Gray Associate News Editor: Ilayda Kaplankiran Senior Opinion Editor: Ella Hearn-Zhang Associate Opinion Editor: Hurashia Daley Senior Culture Editor: Daniel Pepin Associate Culture Editor: Bernardo Wendrownik Senior Lifestyle Editor: Tia Martello Associate Lifestyle Editor: Katherina Hoi Senior Sports Editor: Carmen Vallejo-Anderson Associate Sports Editor: Liberty Simons Senior Creative Writing Editor: Anna Diedrichsen Associate Creative Writing Editor: Mieke Nel Agony Aunt: Eleanor Atterton Head Illustrator: Meghan O'Brien Guest Illustrator: Tabitha Turner & Maya Baker Want to get in contact? WE HAVE AN ANONYMOUS CONTACT FORM AVAILABLE AT LINKTR.EE/ORBITALMAGAZINE ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN EMAIL US EDITOR.ORBITAL@ROYALHOLLOWAY.SU OR MESSAGE ANY OF OUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS The views expressed within this magazine are not representative of Royal Holloway, University of London, or Royal Holloway Student's Union, or any author/editor except the individual who wrote the particular article.
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News
Luton Town Football Club Face £120,000 Fine for Homophobic Chants By Beth McCowen
Luton Town Football Club has been hit with a £120,000 fine and a two year action plan by the FA. Luton were promoted to the Premier League, the top tier of football in England, after the 2022/23 season came to an end. Prior to this breakthrough, they had not been a part of the country’s top flight in football since 1992. The club has accepted the charge, which is a consequence of an incident that took place during the Town’s first game of the 2023/24 season on August 12th in Brighton, where a portion of the away side’s fans took part homophobic chanting. The action taken by the FA in this instance sends a strong message to both clubs and their supporters regarding the importance of stamping out all forms of discrimination. The club released a statement addressing the matter on November 23rd. They maintained that “As an inclusive, family-oriented Club, Luton Town abhors abusive chanting such as this and has a zero-tolerance policy towards discrimination of all kinds.” The statement also highlights that “Those involved were committing a criminal offence and anyone subsequently identified will be issued with a Club ban and face potential police investigation.”. The Hatters’ official Twitter account (@LutonTown) shared this
news with its followers, further emphasising their stance that “Homophobia, like all forms of discrimination, has no place in football or society.” Talking about their relationship with LGBTQ+ supporters in light of such disappointing fan behaviour, Luton Town’s statement in response to the FA’s decision elaborates that “Luton Town has worked with supporters in recent seasons to help form the Rainbow Hatters supporters’ group for members of the LGBTQ+ community, who meet regularly to share their experiences of watching the Hatters.” Recent years have seen a crackdown on dangerous and illegal behaviour from fans. The events in Brighton took place on the first day of the season. In the build-up to its highly-anticipated return, the Premier League was at the centre of discussions surrounding conduct both on and off the pitch. These conversations led the EFL, Premier League, FA, FSA, PGMOL, LMA and PFA to implement new measures in an effort to address the behaviour of participants as well as supporters. This came in the form of a new campaign, ‘Love Football. Protect the Game’. Luton also expressed their support for this action in their statement. Jack Pearce, FA vice chair and chair of the National League, said on the new policies implemented this season that “Unfortunately, the game has normalised unac-
ceptable behaviour on and off the pitch in recent seasons and the message is clear; we will not allow this to continue.” Homophobia is not the only form of discrimination still rife within the men’s football community. These additional measures were introduced largely due to incidents of football tragedy abuse. There is also an argument to be made that more still needs to be done to abolish racism, sexism, and transphobia not just within the Premier League, but in the sporting world as a whole. Currently, many conversations are being held throughout football’s media regarding the impact of such abuse, and how allyship can go even further to support marginalised communities. Issues like Luton’s are disappointingly common, but a strong reaction from the FA sets a clear precedent for positive change going forward.
Image: @lutontown via Instagram.
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The Intimacy of Politics By Evelyn Fernandez-Jarvis It affects and shapes the lives of everyone around us; in some way, all of us have an intimate relationship with politics. Recently, I realised that many of the core foundations that we set out for a healthy relationship with a partner are the same for having a successful relationship with politics, where everyone feels as though their needs are being adhered to. And yet, many feel that this intimacy has failed to be sustained, with fundamentals lost. Over the decades, UK politics has become more personal to everyone; this transformation has come through the acquisition of more intimate information about specific political figures, and the way in which media attention – both traditional and social – affects how the public views them as people in addition to politicians. In short, this can make or break whether they are provided the public support to continue their political career. When looking at elected politics as a career choice, ambitious young people must now seriously consider if they can be judged on their specific opinions and actions by the British public, and whether these are deemed “appropriate”.
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Today, there is a growing idea that this intimate knowledge of one’s personal life is vital to form an opinion on a political figure. Just like in a real relationship, when a political figure does not consider the effect an action may have on the other half, it crumbles. This happened only recently
with Suella Braverman, who was formally the Home Secretary for Rishi Sunak. After some of the offensive, out-of-touch, and frankly outrageous comments she made, it was clear that she was not fit for being a key member of the cabinet. On the 6th of November 2023, she stated that, “We cannot allow our streets to be taken over by rows of tents occupied by people, many of them from abroad, living on the streets as a lifestyle choice.”. For this, she was swiftly removed from the Prime Minister’s cabinet. It was clear that Braverman herself did not think that these comments would hinder her personal political career as much as they have – and with that, she has solidified her fate in regards to any potential relationship or intimate connection with the public in the future. In a relationship, one of the key factors is the idea of transparency, and this is yet another feature that is mirrored in politics. It is vital that the public is informed of all the events that occur in Parliament so voters can make a fair assessment of whether their needs are being well handled. When this idea of transparency fails, it leads to a breakdown in this relationship. Another political figure that we saw the downfall of, rather infamously, was Matt Hancock. He failed as Health Secretary, centrally through his failure to be transparent – breaking his own COVID-19 rules and breaching social distancing regulations. Not only was this a health risk, but it was a complete insult to the British public who were following these rules willingly and missing
crucial events in the lives of the people around them to keep people safe. Hancock was not transparent, and he breached the trust of the public. The relationship broke down. Just like the rules of intimacy in a normal relationship, when someone’s trust has been broken the relationship changes fundamentally, developing into something else entirely. This happens in British politics, with scandals making it clear that the lack of transparency shown by political figures turned many people’s personal relationships with politics into something that was untrustworthy and unfair. Essentially, it has been made clear to the public that there is one rule for one side of the spectrum, and another one entirely for the other side. Whilst politics continues to need these elements of intimacy to be successful in the modern age, it remains clear that some political figures continually hinder their future in politics by ignoring the importance of them.
Image: Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona via Unsplash
Personal Essay Entry
It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over: Revisit By Olivia Taylor
When I was really small, my parents would read the complete set of Beatrix Potter stories to me. When I was around 6 or 7, I frantically read all of Enid Blyton’s series The Faraway Tree. My favourite character was Moon-Face; I liked the idea that his face, house, and furniture were all curved. When I was 13, I read Ian McEwan’s Atonement. The moment I finished it I watched the film adaptation with Kiera Knightley. I loved both the book and the film, but I think I liked Knightley’s green dress in that library scene the most. When I was 18, I read Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love. Now, three years later, it is still the first book I recommend to my girlfriends. I like Alderton’s style, the mix between her attention to specific details in her life alongside her confessional tone that makes me feel like I have known her for years. I crave that little bit more, and I am sure there are a couple of people in the room who have heard me say, ‘I’ll give her another 20 years and then I expect a part 2’. For quite some time now my favourite author has been Thomas Hardy. I won’t talk about him for too long because if anyone who knows me and my dissertation plan hears me say his name again, I am pretty sure they will tell me to zip it. To put it quite simply, whilst his stories are not at all light-hearted, I have always been fascinated by his conclusions. I am yet to come across another writer who can think like Hardy could. What you may or may not have noticed here is that I like closure in storytelling. When I was younger, closure in literature was a lot simpler and now as I read more complicated works, I find myself looking for that closure that was so satisfying. In fact, in one of my first-year modules, I wrote an essay in response to the question, ‘For what reason, if any, is closure significant for literature?’. I loved the idea of describing something by its finality rather than how it came to be and so when I applied this to literature, I found that often it becomes apparent that continuity cannot always be as rewarding as closure may be. The state of closure brings about a sense of completeness; it yields satisfaction. However, and this is where I will be diverging from the discussion of literature, when looking back at this essay, what I found most interesting is my constant repetition of one key point. That our desire to reach a definitive ending in literature often reflects on our own desire for closure, because why would we be searching for such a thing without our own reasons? It is all about taking things for granted. Not necessarily in a bad way, it is simply because we make an assumption that we will experience these things a thousand times more. Often when we are compelled to ‘let go’ of something we tend to cling on to it tighter, becoming more attached. It’s like being told not to think of something, that ‘thing’ will then be the foremost thought on your mind. Like many, when I go to find closure I complicate the issue even further, entangling myself in the realm of ‘what ifs’. It is a dangerous game you will always find yourself playing. Whilst I may only be young, if there is one thing about closure I have recognised, it is that the ‘what ifs’ never get old. Not only do I see it in myself after only a few years of dealing with it but I see everyone around me has to deal with it too. It is that feeling of suddenly being stuck between wanting to wait for someone but equally wanting to forget them. Unfortunately, I am the last person here to be giving advice on closure, however, if I was to be giving any advice, I would say that surely it proves how lucky we are to experience these ‘things’ at least once. Perhaps once is enough, why would we want to keep going through it all again and again? Sometimes things are only nice because they are temporary and that is exactly why we should be grateful. Knowing when closure is due is simply a sign that that particular period of time is over and therefore we should learn to appreciate it for what it was. A moment of temporality, because when we think about it, nothing will ever be infinite. I was speaking to a friend of mine recently about how she has dealt with closure in the past, and she made a point that stuck with me. She said that what she has learnt from closure is that is helped her realise that the only person she really needs to focus on is herself, why should we be worrying so much about fixing ‘unfixable’ things.Regardless of where closure is applicable, I think it is as significant as any opening can be, it just all comes down to intention and interpretation. Still to this day, that little girl who read stories for the endings, lives inside of me. I like to think of it like this. The thing that makes anything nice is not its ending, it’s the fact it has an ending. Sure, you only live once, but once is enough. Can you imagine having to do all of this again?
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Political Commentary Feature Autumnal Anguish: Crisis in Parliament Amid National and International Crises By Harry Stone November 13th – Tensions in Whitehall are palpable, and the parliamentary chaos we have grown to endure returns to the forefront of the national conversation. With Suella Braverman being shown the door, the return of an unelected David Cameron to the ‘frontbench’ and the crises which have emerged over the last few months, but particularly in the wake of the tragic events of, and subsequent to, October 7th, it is important to contextualise this carnage. For a conflict that not only elicits deeply emotional responses, but also poses a deep threat to international peace and security, pragmatically bold leadership is necessary. Yet, living in the UK, where rates of antisemitism have, as reported by The Guardian, been reported to rise by up to 537% from the previous year (as per November 3rd), and Islamophobia by, suggested by Reuters, up to 200% (taken at a similar time), our leaders are not only using this conflict to benefit them politically, but are categorically contributing to such astronomical levels of hate. It is argued that the chief architect of animosity has been our (now former) Home Secretary, Suella Braverman.
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Already controversial enough, having described homelessness as a “lifestyle choice” in order to lay groundwork to ban homeless tents, and stating that migrants are “pretending to be gay” in order to prevent their deportation, her comments on the Israeli-Gaza conflict are beyond the pale. Equating even the most peaceful of pro-Palestinian protesters as akin to Ulster rebels, brandishing them as a “violent mob” and perhaps most audaciously, arguing that the Met Police favoured left wing protesters to football hooligans and far right provocateurs. Of course, it didn’t take too long for these same far right mobsters, led by former EDL leader Tommy Robinson to descend upon the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday as a “counter-protest” to the pro-Palestinian groups (who were miles away). The UK’s response to the conflict, praised and criticised in almost equal measure, misses one crucial point. The majority of the Israeli people find the sweeping actions of their government against Gaza to be reckless, and deeply damaging to interfaith dialogue across the world. One poll puts government dissatisfaction at 80%, with these Israelis blaming Netanyahu for ignoring reported intelligence
by Egypt that a terror attack was imminent, whilst he was pursuing an authoritarian agenda of centralising power into his cabinet. Regardless of intent, such a sensitive time requires sensitive dialogue from our leaders. We must continue to show resolve, and demonstrate to our leadership that hatred of any form does not belong anywhere in our society. Internally, the UK is also not without crises. The ongoing Covid Enquiry, General Election prospects next year and the fight for the right of refugees in court has fostered deep division within both parliament and wider society. In addition, there’s the favourite phrase within populist circles of “Kangaroo Court” – Boris Johnson, and so many others within the UK ‘politisphere’ have begun to echo the populist rhetoric of Trump, Bolsonaro and co, with the hope they can inspire a wave of sympathy in the general public. Yet, this is currently a losing game, with fractured Tory-Reform Party voters comprising roughly 35% of a potential ‘next day’ electorate, and their Labour opponents in the high 40%. One should only look to the US, to see the childlike unwillingness of
radical-right politicians and pundits to adapt to the social reforms in healthcare, infrastructure, and education that are so desperately desired by the electorate. Instead, by fixating on the culture wars – in this case, ‘stopping the boats’, a trans panic, and anti-protest hysteria, as we have seen in the 2022 midterms, and 2023 state elections – they will lose in even the most conservative regions. Such a golden opportunity for genuine political change in our country, after what will likely be nearly 15 years of tumultuous Tory government, seems like a dream for anyone left of centre, but we should not get ahead of ourselves.
ignore the rhetoric of unelected politicians demanding the overturning of decisions made by the highest court? To this, I say, it is time to demand a general election, to hold these dangerous precedents to account. I would like to ask all readers to give a moment’s silence, in respect to all the civilian casualties in Israel and Gaza. It is essential, especially in this moment, to cherish everyone we love. Image: Hulki Okan Tabak via Unsplash
Yes, this latest cabinet reshuffle has inspired infighting on the right, but this should not give you the illusion that Starmer’s Labour are on a flawless path to victory. The latest polls indicate a 38% disapproval rate for the leader amongst young people, compared to just 30% who support his leadership. With a lower-than-expected youth turnout in 2019, the Labour Frontbench must pitch an ambitious 2024 manifesto, addressing the many anxieties facing my generation, alongside healing the wounds inflicted largely through his unwillingness to address concerns for a ceasefire in Gaza. Nonetheless, given that both our Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary are now unelected to their positions, it begs an important question; how long can we endure the normalisation of anti-democratic practices, in the name of ‘technocracy’, a ‘safe pair of hands’ and ‘moderate leadership’ until the very existence of British democracy is at risk? Should we
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Sports News Feature An Interview with Kellie Cheung By Beth McCowen In light of lacrosse being named as an Olympic sport for Los Angeles 2028, I sat down with player Kellie Cheung to talk about her personal journey with the sport, what this news means for the lacrosse community, as well as her time competing with Royal Holloway. Can you tell us a bit about your personal journey with lacrosse? “I came to the UK when I was 12 and attended boarding school, and that’s where I started to play lacrosse. I actually started as a goalie in high school, then at university I was midfield attack. After my year abroad, I joined Hong Kong Lacrosse, so I would play with Hong Kong during the summers. I would coach beginner’s adult and children’s lacrosse. Also, during my year abroad, I played for Madrid Lacrosse Club and had the opportunity to play with their national team.” What has been your proudest moment as a lacrosse player?
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“When I first trained with Hong Kong Lacrosse, I think that was the moment I thought ‘Oh my God, wow!’ Hong Kong takes lacrosse quite seriously. They put a lot of money into it. They have their own office, their own gym, and that was a moment I thought lacrosse was getting quite serious. That was 2020, so that was when I think they first announced lacrosse potentially being in the Olympics for 2028. So, you were already training for the sixes for-
mat. That was, I guess, the moment it just kind of just showed me how popular the sport might become.” How big is the news regarding the 2028 Olympics in LA for lacrosse? “It’s a great achievement for all lacrosse clubs around the world. As a lacrosse player myself, I feel quite proud that it’s something I’m very passionate about. Finally, the world gets to see how unique this sport is. I mean, lacrosse I think was featured as a demonstration sport in three different Olympics, but that’s not a huge thing. This seems like it’s going to be quite official even though it’s only sixes, which is obviously a more compact version of tens. Still, I think it’ll be a good opportunity for everyone to see how great the sport is.” Can you explain how the version of lacrosse which will be played at the Olympics is different to the version many people might be more familiar with? “The sixes format is a more fastpaced, compact version of lacrosse. Rather than ten, there are six players on each team, including the goalkeeper. It’s slightly different, and the pitch is smaller, the length of the game is shorter (so that’s 45 minutes instead of 60 minutes). There are no specialist positions, like no defence, no midfield, no attack, everyone just kind of goes anywhere. There are only draws at the beginning of
each quarter, so once a goal has been scored, the goalie clears the ball. It’s continuous and there's a shot clock, so you have to shoot a goal within 30 seconds. I think players have to be even more physically fit. It’s very different for sixes, but I think it's a good trait if more clubs practise this format. It would be good fitness training and stick skills. You can pass the ball quicker, shoot the ball quicker, and I think generally it’s quite a good way to improve lacrosse skills.” What would you like to see this development achieve for the game, and what sort of impact do you think it will have? “In terms of it being part of the Olympics, I feel like lacrosse in general might get more funding. Lacrosse in the U.S.A is so big. All the famous lacrosse players that we know are from there, and I think lacrosse being more popular and more well known, will help other countries’ lacrosse clubs. Giving them more resources, more equipment, or training more people as coaches will strengthen the backbone of it for other countries. More funding! More funding is the most important thing, I think.” Finally, what did lacrosse at Royal Holloway mean to you? “Lacrosse at Royal Holloway, I would say was my highlight of all of it. I felt like I was doing a degree in lacrosse! I had the opportunity to be president in my
second year, and then also team captain for the mixed firsts in my final year, so that to me was a great turning point because I learned so much about myself. I led such a big team, we had over 100 members at one point. I discovered myself as well as found my passion, and also turned that passion into something greater.
I just learned so much from lacrosse and met a lot of amazing people. The community is just amazing, sometimes I can’t even describe how amazing it is. I think that really sums up my experience playing lacrosse at Holloway and just seeing the club grow. It was already a pretty big club when I joined, but I had
many ideas on how to improve it Before me, the president of the club was a guy, and then for some reason after me they were all girls. This was interesting and I feel like this is a positive change because it used to be quite full of masculine energy, lots of drinking, but now I think there is a great balance.”
Image: By Liberty Simons
Image: By Sharks Lacrosse HK Image: By Liberty Simons
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Opinion By Daniel Pepin Being a part of the queer community has always meant a lot to me. I came out as bi in secondary school, partly because of a bizarre song my Year 8 History teacher played to mark Pride Month. I cannot remember the song’s name, but rest assured it was camp and quite awful. At college, I became aware of the messy beauty of the queer community – a Circuit Laundry machine filled with dirty clothes spinning so fast it shakes. Loud. Overwhelming. But an intimate comfort and a crucial addition to my life. A space that plucks people from dangerous and damaged lives, setting them down in a haven filled with the warmth of familiarity and expression. To be cliché, a family. A space steeped in monumental history stretching back
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Image: Raphael Renter via Unsplash
Gated Communities: AIDS in the Queer Space millennia. Winterson, Marsha P. Johnson, Baldwin, Wilde, Donatello, Sappho, Harmodius and Aristogeiton. Of course, in more recent history, a shadow hangs its evil head over that space. A pandemic that took root in the early eighties and remained for decades. AIDS decimated the queer community. It ruined lives with no refrain. Nearly 330,000 gay and bisexual men have died of stage three HIV (AIDS) since 1980 in the USA alone according to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention. We can only read or listen to accounts of what queer life was like before the crisis, in books like Gay Bar: Why We Went Out by
Jeremy Atherton Lin or podcasts such as The Logbooks. AIDS changed the queer community forever and should never be forgotten. As such an intrinsic part of Western queer history those devastating years deserve the same commemoration as the wars receive – perhaps more so. A war fought daily in city streets and hospital sheets with its soldiers drafted, not by choice, but from prejudice and hysteria. The fallen soldiers need to be celebrated, kept alive by the surviving few and their descendants. However, imagine: a young queer man in the UK unknown to hardship from AIDS; facing minimal sexual discrimination in a world
more tolerant than ever before; who has lost no one from complications around AIDS. A person who has only experienced the queer space as a happy space. As salvation. How odd it must seem to them to be reminded of a terrible plague that destroyed their community – now risen from ashes – by the people it destroyed. Should we not move on and celebrate new victories? The AIDS crisis is more of a myth now, a dark chapter in our past – a horror story usurped for homophobic beliefs that queer people are unsafe disease-carriers. “Why should I care about that?” says my internal conflict. Does it not seem wrong that the thing which destroyed us also, often, defines us? I admit that I have thoughts like these often. Any time I consume a piece of queer media (Holling-
hurst, It’s a Sin…) that makes AIDS the focal point I feel a creeping sense of unease. Making a tragic episode of queer history into entertainment feels perverse. Even if those producing the entertainment are queer themselves. Even worse are the constant references to AIDS at queer events or showcases – every mention evinces a wincing response. Is this all we are allowed to be? Surely this community would try to distance themselves from being synonymous with disease. But the more we talk about it the more people could equate being gay to having AIDS. Sometimes it feels like free homophobic propaganda – self-immolation. But then comes the second guessing and the shame (a feeling the queer community is all too familiar with) of disrespecting my elders. Am I a bad queer? I should, without question, lap up every piece of
Are You Ghosting Me or Yourself? A ghost is a soul that has left this world and returns until it finds peace. Surprisingly, our society has decided to use this term to describe someone who entirely disappears and avoids us, particularly in the digital realm. For the majority of us, our ghost texts us after months when they believe we are ready to move on. The ghosts of our past do not emerge immediately, but gradually. They take their time. Long enough to be missed, yet not long enough to be forgotten. A ghost of today will, at some point, remember us and pretend as if nothing happened. It is the online world; surely you couldn’t have expected me to text you 24/7? While it’s the loss of the person who ghosted us for failing to
realise our potential, this is not how we take it. Rather than focusing on ourselves and regaining our strength, we create these obsessions over our ghosters. They are not ideal but, through our imagination, they become the perfect person. When we are avoided, it feels like a challenge. We would do anything to get a glance from this person, or just a visit from this ghost. Even though we haven’t spoken to that individual in a long time, we still feel linked to them. So far away from each other, yet so close. And so, commence the fantasising: ‘Staying delulu is the solulu’, right? Although this social media trend has received a lot of attention, it’s important to remember that creating fantasies of another in our heads will not
queer media surrounding AIDS with a furrowed brow and earnest nod, and appreciate its efforts to destigmatise the illness. There is a paradox of an othered community seeking unity in remembering the event that changed their landscape, due to deliberate and prejudiced mistreatment. I am aware that I would feel immeasurably different if I were older and a veteran of the crisis. I understand the importance of remembrance – especially when nobody else will remember you. Yet, this persistent shadow – suffused in queer life – weighs on me, on my queer space now turning the contemporary queer space from one of happiness to one of despair. We should not view ourselves as damaged but as healing. We should commiserate not commemorate. Is it so wrong to want to forget something that never even happened to me?
By Adisa-Maria Manole bring that person back into our lives. This strategy has no effect other than to keep us from facing the truth. I’ve always had these obsessions with people I felt were the ones for me. None of them were. Instead of engaging with them to see whether they were the one for me, I would barely say hello. It was not their fault that I decided to live in my fantasy, and they couldn’t assist me in returning to reality. As a result, I strongly advise you to never willingly support a continuous state of delusional life. We now know how to respond when someone ghosts us, but the issue remains: Why are they ghosting me? Believe me, I lost thousands of hours with my
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friends trying to find answers to this topic. What do you think? There is no answer if it is not your ghoster admitting it to you. We are all unique, and there are numerous reasons why someone might appear as if they are no longer engaged in your life. Evaluate the situation, discuss it with your inner circle, and perhaps there are aspects of yourself where you can improve. But I would warn you not to start
hating the person you see in the mirror because someone put you on hold. We must all learn who we are, and we also learn from rejection. Do I love myself enough to recognise that it is their loss, not mine? If we decide at some point that the conversation is not interesting to us anymore and we desire to move to another table, that is completely fine. However, we
should do that politely; the most sincere method that I can think of is to simply admit that we do not feel that connection anymore. Thus, the other person would not have to wait for hours with their phone next to their pillow for a reply. I think we should all be humans and leave ghosting to those departed souls!
Do I Know You? By Hurashia Daley A deep understanding or knowledge between the parties is necessary in intimate relationships, often defined by proximity, familiarity, and affection or love. Through the prism of celebrity, the parasocial connection emerges. The parasocial relationship is defined as a one-sided relationship, where one person extends emotional energy and time while the persona is unaware of the other’s existence. A select group of celebrities have successfully negotiated these social filters, and pop icon Taylor Swift has emerged victorious. Critics frequently lament the demise of pop culture, claiming that because we no longer consume the same cultural items at the same time or in the same way, we are lost, disoriented, and alienated. I find here is one massive exception to this: the overwhelming inescapability of Taylor Swift’s latest venture, the one hundred-
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and-fifty-one-date stadium extravaganza known as the Eras Tour. Swift’s ten studio albums are fully covered in this tour, which presents each one as a distinct era complete with lavish sets, outfits, and moods to match. The show’s scope further emphasises the absurd demands made of pop artists in the 21st century. Either be something different each time you appear, or do not appear at all. To this impossible question, Swift has an answer. So, how is Swift accomplishing this? Through her creation of and dependence on parasocial interactions, Swift has solidified an unbreakable foundation with her horde of admirers. The cornerstone of her business is the bond her admirers have with her, as is with most celebrities. Swift transported us back to the beginning of her career with the release of her seminal rerecord, “Fearless”. And together with the crowd, Swift was taken back in time.
Swift is reconnecting with her previous self, as well as any supporters she may have lost in the process, by doing so. The audience’s attachment has grown stronger and as she regains her agency, she solidifies her status as a pop culture mainstay. After witnessing the explosive sale of her master’s, her audience transformed into her army. Swift’s fanbase is made up of more than devoted followers at this point - they are personal friends. Thanks to The Eras Tour, we’re reminded of all that Swift’s been through. These “Eras” are ours as well. Swift has popularised the term ‘era’s’, in which each person can perfectly categorise their life. When 1989 came out, you were coming to terms with your position as an adult in the real world with adult responsibilities. When you listened to Red, you were going through your first heartbreak. Maybe, you hadn’t listened to Taylor until Midnights, but you
could relate to the agonising midnights of the past that kept you up at night. The Eras Tour is a mosaic of our own pain and nostalgia, not just Taylor’s. As implied by the definition, intimacy requires both proximity and a profound understanding between the people. The swifties possess this, or at least fervently believe they do. Taylor and the swifties have an understanding; she understands them, and they understand her. There is a sense of closeness because Taylor is so pervasive—you can see her on TV, hear her on the radio, and see her on your phone screen. It is therefore impossible to sever the parasocial connection with Taylor Swift. You are committed. But this is an unachievable level of intimacy. There is an invisible line between the audience’s per-
spective of a particular celebrity figure and reality. It is common to hear statements like “I feel like I know her,” but these are usually statements of illusion rather than truth. Tickets for the Eras Tour are available at a wide range of prices, some costing thousands. For the dedicated Swifties, it’s worth it to share this moment, whether in the bleachers or up close with a long-time friend. At the concerts, friendship bracelets are exchanged, forging communal bonds between Swiftie fans, who have now become virtual besties. Swift works her magic by exclaiming ‘I love you’ and often sharing stories with the crowd of 70, 000 as if it were just her and her friends in their living room. I know this because I have watched innumerable Eras Tour
ivestreams and fallen into the parasocial trap of having to stop myself from saying, ‘I love you too, Taylor,’ back to a phone screen. They say parasocial dynamics are one-sided but how could this be possible when behind a phone screen I am convinced Taylor looked at me when she shared the story of her first heartbreak. For celebrities, what constitutes intimacy? The distinctions between right and wrong are hazy, and Taylor Swift is a good example of this. Is she my closest friend, or is she a stranger? Initiating a committed relationship with your favourite celebrity is tricky, be it Taylor Swift or an Instagram influencer, the stakes are high. In the competitive world of celebrities, it seems as if Taylor Swift has emerged as the reigning queen.
Image: Raphael Lovashki via Unsplash
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Finding Identity in the Intimacy of Female Friendships By Ava Kamali
Image: Michael Fenton via Unsplash
Women have been told their whole lives that love is the goal. When the end credits roll you are at the altar holding the hands of a boy with beautiful eyes and you’re overjoyed. You both say yes. Love consumes your thoughts and finally, you know you will be content. However, they failed to mention that happiness can also come from girl talks on Facetime, accompanying a friend to a party when they don’t want to go alone, or adding oat milk to your shopping list because you know your flatmate is lactose intolerant. I’ve held romantic love in high regard for the last eighteen years and overlooked the platonic intimacy of female friendships. Films like ‘10 Things I Hate About You,’ ‘Twilight,’ or ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ introduced me to romance, which quickly became a fixation for me. In these films, friendships were either ignored or given a wry tolerance until or since romance took centre stage. These films
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conveyed the notion that being without love, you are unfulfilled. I saw these effortlessly gorgeous women on my screen, with their personalities expertly manicured, and their ability to make men in awe with just a wink. I felt very unworthy of these white women with flawless complexions and straight hair, especially as a 5’1” girl with frizzy hair from the Middle East. I gave my whole attention to being a “rom-com girl,” which was an unavoidable outcome. I watched myself bend and change to fit the aesthetic and personality of these 2D characters. Who was I? What marketable box do I fit into? How will I gain romantic intimacy? I would try on different personalities, like their clothes. It was my own personal science project: What version of me was more loveable? Everything seemed to change for me when I read Dolly Alderton’s ‘Everything I Know About Love’. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel as if I had to have a consistent, easy-to-love personality. Through reading Alderton’s
admiration of female friendships, I, for the first time, reflected on the most intimate relationships I have. I thought about how my friend Rana came over the first time I had my heart broken and let me cry for hours; I thought about how my female flatmates and I giggle about incomprehensible jokes at 10 a.m. and about my 3-hour-long face-times with my friend Anita, where we talk about everything under the sun. Around my female friends, I never felt as if I had to change myself; I simply felt loved. At 18 years old, I feel secure in saying that the most intimate relationships of my life have been with women. While I love romance, I will never again change myself just to be easily digestible or loveable. I know that the women in my life let me be myself and love me for it, and that has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.
The Death of the Cool Girl Act By Kiera Garcia I enjoy the concept of a Gone Girl vengeance storyline just as much as the next girl, but you don’t have to be an enigma to those close to you. Intimacy is a scary concept, and I used to fall victim to the romanticisation of being the Cool Girl, but this isn’t a good mindset to have. As much as I will defend Amy Dunne until the end of time, if I actually knew her, I would find her insufferable. For those who are unfamiliar with it, the archetype of a Cool Girl I’m referring to is derived from the ‘Cool Girl’ monologue in Gillian Flynn’s novel Gone Girl, later adapted into a film in 2014. The Cool Girl is simply someone who never allows others to get to know her. The Cool Girl is supposedly every man’s fantasy. She loves everything he loves and does everything he wants, but she isn’t demure. She’s him, but just the version he wants to have sex with. This person varies depending on who they’re dating; not every Cool Girl is the same, but they’re usually connected through their lack of emotional complications and rejection of typically female traits. She doesn’t cry, she’s never vulnerable, she never disagrees, and most importantly - you will never really know the Cool Girl because she isn’t real. She’s a character. I think the glorification of the Cool Girl act, especially on TikTok, has misinformed many people about how any and all relationships should be approached. You don’t have to pretend not to care; you are allowed to feel your
feelings deeply and wholly. It’s not embarrassing to have a connection to someone; it’s incredibly human. It can be hard to accept intimacy and connection in all its forms, whether romantic, sexual, or emotional. Learning to be more trusting and comfortable in situations where intimacy may come into play can be helpful. This doesn’t mean you have to implicitly know the person or people with whom you’re in an intimate situation; it just means that you shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you feel insecure about being yourself. This applies to platonic relationships as well as romantic and sexual relationships. Friends should be people that you don’t have to put on a show for. They should make you feel good about yourself, not like you have to protect or shield yourself. You are designed to be experienced by those around you, not as an idea or a shape of what you like to be seen as. A lot of the time, people have a tendency to avoid being seen as themselves for fear of rejection. It’s much easier to cope with it if you know that you’re not the one being rejected, just the person you’ve constructed. But how are people meant to get to know you if you’re only letting them see certain parts of you? There is such beauty and gratification in letting people see you for who you truly are. Cool Girl can be invigorating and
risky but in reality it’s not sustainable. Detachment from those close to you only damages your ability to form intimate connections. This also isn’t exclusive to heterosexual relationships. I’ve seen first-hand how some queer people expect this of their partners: to be a walking, talking sex doll, they’re there when they want and go when they need. Although this applies to more than just sexual relationships, I know if the person I was with was incredibly detached and flippant during sex, it wouldn’t be enjoyable—almost like an act or performance. It would ruin the whole experience, probably for both of us. I’d either think they were cruel or feel incredibly sad for them that they don’t like themselves enough to actually be authentic. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by everyone who wants to enjoy it. Of course, there can be reasons why people put up the Cool Girl act. Whether it’s previous bad experiences with partners, friend groups, or family. Being open and intimate is incredibly vulnerable. However, we shouldn’t let this shape the way we approach connections afterwards. You may end up being the one to ruin intimacy for someone else, which then becomes the story they tell when asked why they put up the Cool Girl act. The cycle of detachment will only continue if we all avoid letting others know us. So take this as a toast to the death of the Cool Girl act. May it stay buried and gone.
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How Long Should I Wait to Reply? By Madeline Sidgwick Image: Prateek Katyal via Unsplash
‘Is romance really this dead?’- a question I believe all of us have asked, or possibly screamed at a wall, at some point in our lives. In an age where social media undeniably consumes us it is clear that intimate relationships, both romantic and platonic, have been affected by the internet. Being able to easily contact those we connect with has many positives however when considering intimacy, I would suggest that the internet has done more to hinder deep connections than build them. The internal questions of “how long should I wait to reply?”, “Do I seem too keen?”, “Which is worse, being left on delivered or on read?”, are ever present as we try to figure out what on earth both our friends and our potential romantic endeavours are thinking. Now I am not suggesting that chivalry is dead, but I am sure we can all agree that a snapchat image of a blank wall is in no way endearing. I cannot help but envy my grandparents when they tell me their story, meeting in a pub and conversing with intrigue; leading to over 50 years of marriage rather than “could I get your Instagram?” Although the rise of social media has increased digital freedoms and played a significant role in reversing
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historical gender expectations, in relation to romance, locking eyes with a stranger across a room definitely appeals to me more than a midnight message of “you still up?” Perhaps I am fantasising too much or even being a delusional romantic. Such connections are impossible to form in the modern age and raises a question: will we as a generation be telling nostalgic stories of meeting our life partners through tinder? Social media has also set unprecedented ambitious standards for relationships and not in a positive way. The unreliability of couples’ Instagram pictures became most apparent to me on my trip to Paris in the summer; a couple had the typical Eiffel Tower proposal and got a cheer out of those around- sweet. However, when the proposer got down on one knee for the third time just to pose for Instagram pictures, I definitely wrote off the idea of Paris as ‘the city of love.’ The constant stream of couples in idyllic relationships on my Tik-Tok foryou page is never ending. Often, I have to remind myself these loved-up scenes were probably captured on the seventh take of the video to prevent the strange envy I am sure we all experience. As a generation we prioritise showing off our relationships rather than holding onto the sentiments of intimate moments; allowing such relationships to become fractured if the ‘instagrammable’ expectation is not
met. In a platonic sense, I often find myself questioning whether I see my close friends enough and if we are meeting the standard that actually defines ‘real’ friends. The fact of the matter is that if someone makes you comfortable and you do them- you are friends. It does not matter if you got a good picture of a day out or if you tell all your followers you met up with them; it is about the intimacies that we remember and do not show the world that often become the most precious overall. The doubts that often circle our minds when looking at the “delivered three hours ago” should not define what we perceive of a friend or romantic attachment. In reality their phone has died or even crazier they might just have a life that does not involve constant snapchatting. I am sure we are all guilty of asking these questions. However, remembering that Instagram fails to depict the lows of relationships or the small bickerings amongst friends pushes me into realising that how long they take to reply, and whether or not a picture accurately shows a friendship, really does not matter. As our generation matures, I hope to no longer hear or ask myself the question “how long should I wait to reply?”
The Diana Dilemma Continues By Madelaine Gray
The final season of Netflix’s The Crown opens with a bystander’s perspective of the car crash that killed Diana, Princess of Wales. The series is carefully crafted so as to avoid accusations of insensitivity; there is no view of her body, nor the mangled car, nor the immediate aftermath at the scene. Instead, we watch as a passing dog walker calls an ambulance, before the season backtracks to the turmoil of the final weeks of her life. When we catch up to the aftermath of the accident, there is a lingering shot of Prince Charles (now King Charles, of course) sobbing, before the camera pans out to the hospital staff overhearing his anguish. Even in death, even in a series attempting to pay tribute, Diana is presented as a prop in the machinations of the wider Royal Family. The show wants Charles to be a more sympathetic character, so he wails over her unseen body. The show wants to present the Queen as out of step with the public, so we see her struggle to formulate a response to Diana’s death. The show wants to give Charles closure, so Diana returns as a spectre, a fragile ghost, to cry delicately with mascara stains gathering under her eyes. “I loved you so much,” says the ghost Diana, perfectly coiffed. Charles smiles, filled with sadness, but a weight has lifted. When the camera pans back, the chair opposite him is empty.
Culture Diana has fulfilled her role. *** In the first term of my first year, and my first issue as Deputy Opinion Editor, I wrote an article about the growing wave of Dianamania. It opened in a broadly similar way to this one – with an outline of the way in which The Crown has relished in the tragic aspects of Diana’s life. I have often wondered if I am being overly dramatic about this. After all, Diana died over twenty five years ago. Her sons are grown, and live in the Royal lap of luxury. I have no particular strong feelings either way about Diana as an individual or a symbol. What I do have, however, are strongly feminist inclinations. Something about the public fervour has always made me deeply uncomfortable, as the public manipulates Diana’s image to match their own agenda, their own perceptions of the monarchy and the royals as both a family and an institution. *** In its early seasons, I enjoyed The Crown. It was a period of royal history that I knew little about, and between the strong performances, period setting, and cohesive themes, it made for great watching. The second “era”, which centred around the monarchy’s struggle to adapt in a rapidly changing world, was perhaps less strong, less dazzling. The series’ job was always going to get more difficult as the time-
line inched closer to the present day. For many of our parents’ generation, this new period is firmly in recent memory. My parents remember precisely where they were when Diana’s death was announced. There’s no jubilee or royal wedding memorabilia in our home, but I am sure many reading this could find a mug, plate, commemorative coin marking the occasions that The Crown is now depicting. We have seen these images publicised, and now, there is a strange “uncanny valley” effect as we watch actors playing out the events that live within our collective memory. The reviews reflect this; “soapy” was a word often repeated, even amongst broadsheets that had previously lauded the series. This new series rehashes old ground, with the final episode echoing the 2006 film The Queen squeezed uncomfortably into an hour. Season 5 thus far has nothing new to say – not about Diana’s final days, not about the monarchy – and its themes and motifs are so heavy handed as to make the viewer feel like they’re watching a moving paint-by-numbers. The Crown toes the line in so many ways, and still has not avoided accusations of insensitivity. Elizabeth Debicki’s portrayal of Diana is haunting, and I do not mean that as a jibe to the ghostly apparitions of the Princess. She is a brilliant actress and captures some of the essence that is well-documented in Diana’s public appearances. I suppose I just do not believe it is enough to justify four hours of tear-jerking television.
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Image: Alec Douglas via Unsplash
A Review of ‘The Silent Patient’ by Alex Michaelides By Daria Chernovolenko
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It had found me first. Whilst yawning between the bookshelves of Heathrow Terminal 3’s Waterstones, ‘The Silent Patient’ by Alex Michaelides, looked me right in the eyes as if it were Joe Golberg from ‘You’. I had to buy it. With a long 7-hour journey ahead of me, the only thing that could have given me a boost of energy was a well-written psychological thriller. This one, luckily, did not disappoint. The book begins with Theo Faber, a criminal psychotherapist, introducing his newest case - Alicia Berenson, widow, and former painter. What is interesting about this case is that Alicia’s life was seemingly perfect before the death of her husband, she lived in a lovely home with large windows and her husband Gabriel. Until one evening, she shoots him. In the face. Five times. Then she never speaks. Her complete silence turns the domestic murder into a full-scale investigation and mystery that catches the eyes of not only the best psychotherapists in London but also the public media. Theo explains that, without delay, he had read the articles written about Alicia and grew increasingly eager to talk to her. This lands him a job at The Grove (an underfunded London psychiatric hospital); the worst part is that the hospital is in financial deficit, and it is only a matter of time before it shuts down – the case becomes a race against the clock. Theo must work fast. However, in the hectic chase for answers, the case consumes him, and the story becomes more intimate, the text becomes a diary rather than a professional recount of events. At times it even feels as if Theo is reading your emotions, even
more than he is Alicia’s. With about 350 pages and 69 chapters to read, Alex Michaelides takes the reader through time and space as the story uncovers more about Alicia and Gabriel’s time together. To be completely honest, I was most surprised about how unapologetic Michaelides is about the details that they share – they are weird, private, and unique. Yet, it was the small and mundane details that really drew me into the book: the way Theo and his wife, Kathy, spend evenings together; how Gabriel walks into their home after work; the way Alicia procrastinates whilst trying to finish a well overdue painting - I could relate to many of the characters’ habits. This is what makes the novel so realistic. At moments, you become so invested, you try to solve the mystery alongside Faber. You will find yourself putting down the book every few chapters to try and critically analyse what has happened. At other moments, you become the characters’ friend, laughing, and crying with them.
Will Alicia ever speak again? What will happen to The Grove? I will not leak anymore about this book, as I wholeheartedly believe that everyone should read it at least once. I am not a fast reader, not at all, but I finished it with plenty of time to spare before the end of my journey; I think that says enough about how engaging this title is. Who knows, maybe you will solve the mystery before Theo…
Of course, as with any murder mystery or psychological thriller, there is a twist towards the end, shocking many viewers with an unanticipated ending. But the author’s gift is not the twist itself, rather how they present it to the reader. Michaelides’ twist really does creep up on you. Personally, whilst reading the novel I did not realize what had been said until I had reread the necessary pages at least twice. I was shocked and delighted; from then on, ‘The Silent Patient’ became my favorite book. It still is. Does Faber ever solve his case?
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Have We Invested in Intimacy?
Lifestyle
By Tia Martello In an era where technology reigns supreme and the desire for immediate satisfaction prevails, the search for genuine connections has become more pressing than ever before. In a rapidly evolving world, the conventional criteria for measuring relationship success are undergoing a major transformation. As we navigate the complexities of modern romance, a fascinating question emerges: could intimacy be the new currency of our generation? As we venture into the intricate realm of contemporary romance, it becomes increasingly clear that the traditional notions of love and connection are undergoing a significant transformation. In the era of current intimacy, dating apps have become the go-to method for finding love. With their enticing promise of a vast array of potential partners just a swipe away, it’s no wonder they have captured the Image: Alexander Sinn via Unsplash attention of millions. However, beneath the surface lies a harsh reality - the quality of these connections often falls short of our expectations. ctions have trouble getting off the The superficial allure of dating apps is undeniable. The convenience they ground when people are afraid to offer, allowing us to browse through countless profiles from the comfort let their guard down. of our own homes, is a tempting proposition. But as we delve deeper into the world of online dating, we soon realise that quantity does not Those reaping the benefits are always equate to quality. One of the main issues with dating apps is the those who recognise the transforlack of genuine connection. In a digital landscape where appearances mational potential of closeness. are everything, it’s easy for individuals to present themselves in a way The ability to maintain closethat may not accurately reflect who they truly are. ness is crucial in a culture where short attention spans and fast In the continuous pursuit of work goals and personal triumphs, it’s satisfaction prevail. As we redeeasy to miss the tremendous effect that intimacy may have on our fine success in our relationships, professional lives as well. The ability to make genuine connections has prioritising depth over quantity, far-reaching implications outside the sphere of romantic relationships, the rewards of investing in real including those of collaboration and teamwork. Networking today is connections extends beyond the all about making real connections with people rather than just trading romantic sphere. In a turbulent business cards and adding each other on social media platforms. Emworld, connections can provide ployers are beginning to appreciate staff who not only perform well, but support, strength, and joy. also foster a positive and supportive work environment through their interpersonal skills. While dating apps and chance encounters may provide short-term Intimacy, in this context, extends beyond the physical to encompass gratification, the real value resides emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections. It involves underin the building of closeness. Often standing and being understood, sharing vulnerabilities, and building our generation struggles to adapt trust. In a society that often prioritises individualism, investing in such to the changing nature of romanconnections can be seen as a radical act. Despite the clear value of close tic love. Genuine friendships, relationships, today’s hectic lifestyles and the temptation to present an relationships, and bonds are life’s idealised verson of ourselves, can stifle genuine interactions. Real connemost precious commodities.
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Self-Intimacy: A Journey By Mieke Nel Intimacy is a big word with lots of meanings. The first thought for many of you is probably something along the lines of relationships, maybe even friendships, or possibly general intimacy with other people. But what about self-intimacy? By ‘self-intimacy’, I mean the relationship you have with yourself; your connection to your feelings. The relationship you have with yourself, your feelings of self-worth, and self-love, your connection to your emotions, are all essential aspects that should be a priority in your life. Of course, everyone has a relationship with themselves, but in the climate we are living in, especially with social media, it can be easy for your connection with yourself to weaken. While social media has its benefits, it can also negatively affect our relationships with ourselves. Not only in the sense that we compare ourselves to others, but really that we share parts of ourselves online, and we feel we have access to the lives of strangers and celebrities, an increased amount of parasocial relationships. I would encourage people to try to step away from these types of relationships, to move away from what strangers on social media are doing, and to try to focus on self-intimacy. Another thing to consider here is that university is a time when people can forget to put themselves first. With all the academic work, social events, societies, work experience, feeding yourself, paying the bills, I get it
– it’s a lot! But I actually think that taking some time out to tune into self-intimacy can really help with all the uni-things. University is a great time to get into these habits, it’s a transitional period in a person’s life, and in a time of uncertainty and transition, it can’t hurt to be grounded in yourself. But, how can you do that? These are tips for working on self-intimacy and connecting to yourself. However, this is a very personal journey, and this is not an exhaustive list. If you find something else that works – great!
1. Journaling – Perhaps an
obvious one, but journaling is a really personal, intimate way to connect with yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just write down whatever comes to mind! This may help you connect with your feelings and express them. Journaling doesn’t have to be just writing either, you could get creative, draw, stick pictures in or write a poem, it’s about expressing yourself to yourself, no one else has to understand it.
right? I find myself constantly reminding myself that everyone is on their own journey, and this is true. But try to limit your consumption of this type of media if you are truly looking to connect with yourself.
3. Time Alone – This can
be anything. Baking, painting, reading, exercising, gardening, eating a meal alone, staring at a wall, whatever you want. Something you do on your own, for you. Maybe you’re someone who spends a lot of time with others, and that’s great! I would encourage you to find something that you like doing on your own, you’d be surprised how recharged you feel.
4. Exercising – Self-explana-
tory, but it can be anything from walking, yoga, jogging, home workouts; do whatever makes you feel good. By exercising in a way that you enjoy, you’re acknowledging your limits for that day, you’re tuning into what you enjoy, and this helps your relationship with yourself.
Taking time off from Appreciate yourself – This 2. 5. social media – As I said, there are one can be tricky, but really acmany benefits to social media, but it can take up a lot of space in our minds. Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others? Not getting stuff done because you’re watching a TikTok about someone’s ‘Day in The Life?’ Notice how you feel after consuming this stuff, probably not great,
knowledging yourself, your likes and dislikes, your emotions, what you’re good at, what makes you happy. Try to treat yourself like you would treat a partner, or a friend, someone you really like! Say nice things about yourself, encourage yourself, honour yourself.
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The Cool Girls’ Guide to Shopping Slow Fashion By Poppy Jackson ‘Your favourite item (...) was sold.’ A painful notification any veteran Vinted user is familiar with. Whether or not I was ever going to buy that gorgeous, vintage piece at a bargain price is unknown, but the fact it will never be mine still gripes me. This is the familiar tale of overconsuming slow fashion. Sustainable shopping has raised a whole new host of ethical dilemmas for the conscious consumer. As trend cycles get ever-shorter, popular fast fashion pieces crop up right off the rails into charity shops, car boots, flea markets, and on second-hand clothing sites. What was popular last week is now available at a discount rate for those of us who just can’t keep up. But shopping for cheaper, used clothes is not a harmless practice. In the last decade the demographic buying second-hand has drastically changed, and with it, prices have soared (nothing should be over £20 in a charity shop, I’m looking at you Oxfam). Charity shops have quickly become inaccessible for those who need them, and much of the donated clothing never ends up on the rail – instead, cheaper fabrics are shipped off to textile merchants. And buying ‘vintage’ often isn’t much better; deadstock sellers and retailers aren’t always transparent about where they source their items or the textile pollution that they are contributing to. Wholesale rag houses in India are reported as having poor working conditions with minimal wages,
a fact most vintage buffs will quickly gloss over. So, how do we do better? How do we shop slow fashion slowly? Be an Outfit Repeater. 1. A great outfit calls for being worn more than once. And I promise if anyone remembers it’s only because they couldn’t forget how fab you looked. Clothes are
3. Sharing is Caring.
There’s a whole community of people out there desperate to share their clothes with you. Initiatives such as dress rental services, designer-for-hire, or just borrowing from a friend are all great shopping alternatives. Alternately, expand your wardrobe by stealing from your fashionable, younger sibling – it always works for me.
4. Quality over Quantity.
Some clothes just aren’t made to last forever; some can’t even survive one wash cycle. Invest in quality pieces that might survive long enough to become handme-downs to your future children so they can see how cool you once were.
Image: Pexels
meant to be re-worn – don’t be afraid to use that washing machine and re-wear a look you love.
2. Don’t be a Brand Snob.
I’m truly guilty of this. I see a good brand name in a charity shop, and I have to buy it. Ask yourself if you really like the piece, or just the tag. Imagine it’s from Primark, does it still have the same allure?
5. Shop Independent.
There are so many sustainable, UK-based clothing brands to buy from. It’s a win-win: you get unique, trendy pieces all while supporting a local or independent business. There’s also the added bonus that, since small brands aren’t churning out millions of the same garment, you won’t be awkwardly matching anyone.
6. Repair and Upcycle.
Become your very own ‘fixer upper’ with help from the thousands of DIY and upcycling tutorials out there. Try your hand at darning that tiny hole or upgrade that wardrobe basic with bows and
frills – the choices are endless!
consciously! Do you really need a new item for each event? Will you still like it and wear it in 6 months? Is it your style or is it just ‘trendy’? These are the questions we need to ask ourselves as consumers when trying to slow down the rate at which we shop.
7. It’s not all ‘Granny’
clothes. If you haven’t yet been converted into a second-hand shopper, now is the time. Buying second-hand is nearly always better than choosing fast fashion. But shop
In the words of Lizzie McGuire, ‘I
may be an outfit repeater, but you’re an outfit rememberer, which is just as pathetic!’ Sustainable fashion is about more than just buying second-hand, it is finding your own sense of style, becoming conscious of where you get your clothes from, re-wearing a little more, and caring about ‘outfit rememberers’ a little less.
A Table for One, Please. By Olivia Taylor Being alone has never been my strong suit. I’ve always leaned towards being social, to the extent that I often find it challenging to enjoy my own company. It’s not that I don’t appreciate time on my own, but it usually involves doing as little as possible when I do take a break. If I have to be alone for prolonged periods, I tend to get a bit stuck on what to do with myself. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that it’s high time I learn to relish my company for more than a few hours. With this idea, it’s time I embrace the notion of venturing out and enjoying various activities on my own. It’s not like I have never done it before; during my second year, when I was in New York City, I thought, why not dedicate a day to exploring the city and doing things solely for my enjoyment? I had a great time, but there was a fleeting moment of self-consciousness when I had to request a table for one at a restaurant. I want to think that everyone has underlying anxiety about being alone, but perhaps not everyone would admit it. I certainly do. However, I believe there is something romantic about “solo dating”; something
profoundly intimate about enjoying your own company. I have a friend who has mastered the art of solo dating. She fell into it, a somewhat serendipitous discovery, but she genuinely enjoys spending that bit of time with herself. As an avid theatre enthusiast, she often finds herself with some spare time before a show, and she usually fills this time with drinks in nice bars or a pre-theatre meal. Over time, she has become the “table for one, please” professional. To 1. grow up and 2. learn how to enjoy my own company more, I asked my friend for some tips on getting more comfortable with solo dating. Firstly, she recommended that taking a book or magazine is a good way to distract yourself from being alone with your thoughts (her words, not mine - but I was thinking about it). This is an excellent idea to me, simply because I know if I were on my own somewhere for an extended period, I would probably turn to my phone. And whilst you shouldn’t be solo-dating to look cool and mysterious, sitting in a restaurant alone and scrolling through your phone is
certainly neither of these things. However, it must be remembered that being observant is essential when solo dating. It is the perfect activity for people watchers, one of my favourite hobbies. So yes, take something to read, but remember to keep an eye on everything happening around you. It has also been recommended to me to go somewhere I enjoy. It’s all about treating yourself where and when you can. I know that if I were solo dating, I would feel more comfortable in a place I feel familiar with, whether that be a restaurant chain or a particular bar or pub that I have been to before. I am not a big believer in New Year’s Resolutions, but I will try to embrace the solo dating scene in 2024, especially since this will be the year I am shoved into the real world post-university. It is about time I familiarised myself with the notion of enjoying my own company.
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Sports Motherhood, the Sporting World and its Impacts By Liberty Simons It’s common for male athletes to have children during their careers. They don’t have to experience the 9 months of pregnancy, plus the recovery time after that; their almost always female partners do that. But the picture looks different if you are a female athlete. Whether they are in a same sex couple, or a heterosexual one, female athletes are affected by pregnancy and the expectations of motherhood much more than their male counterparts. It is only now we are reaching a point where motherhood is being treated with respect and dignity in women’s sports and mothers and their children are being treated well by big organisations, but this is not always the case. Please note, I will not be including children’s names in this piece out of respect for their privacy. When I think of the European Championships of 2022 in England, other than the win and the backheel goal from Alessia Russo, I think of that team photo of everyone in their kits, and Demi Stokes holding her newborn baby. Her baby boy was born just a mere few weeks before the tournament started and symbolised a change in attitude towards parenthood in the game. Likewise, during this summer’s world cup, we saw the likes of Katrina Gorry having her daughter with her during camp, as well as her mother to look after the toddler, or
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even Spain’s Irene Parades having her son and wife in camp with her for the first time in Spain’s history throughout their time in Australia (Whilst I am celebrating this step from the RFEF, I want to also comment that I am aware it was a smoke mirror used for their abuse of power over the Spanish Women’s National Team, to attempt to cover their abhorrent displays of abuse towards these athletes, in the light of the boycotts that took place in 2022). With the exception of Gorry who went through IVF as a single parent during the Covid-19 pandemic, it has to be noted that all these examples are of the athlete’s partner being the one to carry the child. That being said just this November, Premiership Women’s Rugby player Abbie Ward scored a try on her return to the game, just 17 weeks after giving birth to her daughter. The overall acceptance of female athletes taking time out to become mothers and to carry a child of their own has risen dramatically. In just English football alone, Chelsea Women have hired specialised help to ensure those on their team who have carried children, including the likes of former German international Melanie Leupolz, can continue to raise their standards even higher after giving birth. I highlight these examples as positives in the path towards
equality for mothers. In the last two years alone, this idea of the slow interjection of motherhood into sports has become more and more prevalent. These examples have been used to demonstrate how the world of women’s sports have welcomed and harnessed mothers to their best abilities in their fields, with the addition of the support they need to thrive on and off the pitch. Their sacrifices for the games they play are being compensated rightly to allow for them to grow as athletes and mothers, simultaneously. However, it has not always been as such. Icons such as Alex Morgan have exposed the insecurities and fear they had as athletes who have taken time away to carry children and the comments made by coaches in this. Likewise, some of the biggest clubs in the world are still not treating their players right. Olympique Lyonnais failed to pay Icelandic international Sara Björk Gunnarsdóttir after the first two months of her pregnancy when she suddenly fell pregnant in April 2021. After legal battles, including the disparity between FIFA laws and French ones and a FIFA tribunal, the player was properly compensated and she returned to play in March 2022, but something still felt off. She said she felt like she was being treated differently than before, all because she had become a mother and she left the French
giants for Juventus that June. I haven’t even touched on the issue of same sex female couples having to deal with the homophobic comments from (mostly) men about a baby needing a father, but if you want an example, look at Lina Hurtig’s Instagram comments to see an abhorrent display of these disgusting thoughts. There is a dirty and secret underbelly in the sports world that doesn’t treat mothers correctly. As female athletes feel comfortable to expose their employers more and tell their side of the story, the steps towards a future where we don’t have to report on these types of issues become smaller and less frightening, for women across the sporting world. The overall opinions and attitudes towards mothers in the sports and the discrimination they face for simply wanting families of their own unfortunately mirrors the discrimination of the outside world. In a place that should be one’s safe space, there are popular opposites happening, where some re treated well and others not so much. A recurring theme in the world is that a man will be celebrated for the same thing a woman will be ridiculed for. This thinking does apply to parenthood. Many times, in sports,
male athletes will be praised for their fatherhood and how much they care for their children, whilst a woman will be blamed for abandoning the child to excel in her sport. Whilst the steps forward are usually happening at the hand of mothers themselves, including Chelsea’s Emma Hayes, there is a need for our male counterparts to understand and offer the same in return. In a time where we saw Hayes leaving Chelsea to go onto new adventures in America, as well as sighting a want to spend more time with her own son, it is an incredible thing that we have these women at the forefront of this unsuspecting movement.
step that needs legal action or if it is an individual change from sport to sport, but unfortunately, it won’t get anywhere without the support from men. Their unwavering support is paramount to a change that is long overdue, for mothers and their families across the sporting world.
The steps towards a better future for mothers in sports are happening, slowly, but with the acceleration in the sphere happening at a breakneck level, it is surely only a matter of time before there is complete and overwhelming change. I’m not sure if this is a Image: Jeffrey F Lin via Unsplash.
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The Rise of Formula 1 Image: formula1.com.
Formula 1 has been a popular mainstream sport since long before many of our readers were born. The internationally renowned competition is ever-changing, and remains at the heart of multi-faceted discussions of its core elements, along with their wider implications. Here is a brief overview of how the top flight of motorsport has dominated the world of sports media, and some of the problems that have arisen along the way. The 2022/23 season came to an end on Sunday 26th November, with Dutch superstar Max Verstappen and Christian Horner’s Red Bull continuing to dominate both the driver and constructor’s championships. Over the last few years, there has been a drastic increase in the number of young people who follow the sport. This is, in part, thanks to Netflix’s documentary ‘Formula 1: Drive to Survive’ providing a brand new audience demographic with an insight into the lives of drivers, managers and team owners both on and off the track. The series has offered behind-the-scenes looks at some of the sport’s most exciting, controversial, and dramatic moments in its recent history. For example, Romain Grosjean’s horrific crash
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By Beth McCowen
in the 2020 Bahrain Grand Prix, Verstappen’s much-disputed title-winning race in Abu Dhabi 2021, and Daniel Ricciardo’s departure from McLaren. Despite its popularity, the thrilling, high-risk activity is not without its criticisms. There is constant debate surrounding what Formula 1 is, how it works, and how it can be problematic. Several of the drivers have expressed personal disapproval at some of the recent changes to the ever-growing industry. The introduction of Sprints has been at the heart of F1 discourse as of late. Sprints were introduced at the British Grand Prix in 2021. This addition to race weekends has since expanded, with six shootouts taking place across the most recent season of action. The purpose of this development is somewhat straightforward: to make things even more exciting. However, it was not a universally popular decision. World Champion Verstappen has shared his view with the media that the activity takes away from the excitement of Sunday’s main event. Another high-profile argument has been one regarding the prerace entertainment on display at races such as the Miami Grand Prix. American sport is known
for its spectacle, but this is a relatively new concept to many of those who play a part in the world of Formula 1. Mercedes driver George Russell told Give Me Sport “It’s distracting because we were on the grid for half an hour in our overalls in the sun and I don’t think there’s any sport in the world that 30 minutes before you go out to do your business that all the cameras are on you to make a bit of a show.” It was also inevitable that, with climate change as a rightful hot-topic of today’s global news, it would be a factor in determining the future of motorsport. With 10 teams, 23 races held all over the world, and 20 cars, it is obvious that the carbon footprint of F1 each season is monumental. This has seen the sport become the subject of protests, with a track invasion by Just Stop Oil protestors taking place at the Silverstone British Grand Prix earlier this year. There is no denying the environmental impact of the much-loved motorsport, and former competitor Sebastian Vettel has been vocal about the role of this in his recent decision to retire. It must be noted that F1 has pledged an ambitious goal of reaching carbon neutrality by 2030. These are just a few of the highlights from recent talks on the elite sport. Formula 1 and motorsport more widely has a rich history, as well as a constant large, diverse (and still expanding) community of supporters. It will be interesting to see how this, along with the sport itself, develops over the coming years in light of the issues discussed here.
Creative Writing La Petite Mort By Katherine Hoi
Image: Klemen Vrankar via Unsplash
You must be a writer, he says, you must, take the stars from my eyes the lines from our smiles use them to cross your ts. And he knows that I can find truth in his pauses synonyms for love in the heavy breaths that define me as his.
Leave your books on my shelves and correct my tenses. You called me a beacon, a full moon in the dark. But you are a lighthouse leading me through another tired metaphor of rainstorms and rising suns.
Before you, I wrote to hurt for something past, something lost, for something like a ghost, writing to make myself a haunted house, shaking the walls and moving the chairs so that they never find peace. But now he takes my full stops my angry rhymes and turns them to ellipses, each drumming with what’s next.
And I want to know where you hurt, which adjectives you hate replacing them with our own, whispered without shame. You’ll trace the scars on my hands from playing with snakes, and I’ll memorise the green of your eyes in case you ever drop my gaze.
You must stay, I say, you must, and I can use my best words to soften your worst points, and dedicate my prettiest prose to the way your lips feel in the winter sun. And I’ll create a language that the linguists will hate, a thousand different ways to say that I’m yours.
You must create our meaning, he says, you must, with doing verbs, and an active voice. You say it’s fate, and I know you from touch alone loyal like your stray, blind me and I’ll find my way home, you are my something found, my run-on sentence without a point.
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Fine Details By Ruby Caballero-Roff Cracked lips and leaking windows Creeping fear of feeling hollow Paper stacks and empty pot The coffee stain on the countertop Monotony of a day’s routine Interlinked and to be unseen Soft eyes and loving looks Utter avoidance of emotional crooks Heart beating to be set free Wanting to keep someone close to me Efforts aiding a pressured flaw Then someone spoke, ‘that’s what I adore’
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L o v e L e t t e r s
By Caroline Söderlund
I. Grandma walks through her house for the last time she fusses – whose glasses are these? who left their shoes here? complains that she didn’t sweep the floors don’t the lilacs look lovely now? she says she’ll take this chair with her next time but trains make her tired
II. rain and thunder through a boat window they play with dice and talk I hide in rain and paper my father’s clumsy steps how fortunate we are that it did not come an hour ago we say blåste säkert 19-20 sekundmeter
III. Sun pools, wind washes, waves wind, deep down down draws white horses, trickling
IV. she always gives me the best piece of cake one day I hope to be as caring as my mother
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Bubble By Annicken Sund “You don’t want breakfast?” Alexander asked, cleaning his own dish. “No, not yet, but maybe a cup of coffee?” The familiar aroma filled the open room, making her smile. For a few seconds she was even able to free herself from the hectic looking computer screen, and just enjoy what was. “Milk or sugar?” he asked, handing her a steaming cup of coffee. She smiled softly, “Not today, thank you.” The white walls of their apartment reflected the morning sun, lighting up every little forgotten corner, making her notice small details she hadn’t in a while. Maybe she should fold the blankets on the couch before she left, and the windowsills really needed a dusting. Sophia reached for him as he was about to leave. “How long are you going to be at the office today?” He wrapped his tanned arms around her shoulders, leaning his chin on the top of her head. “I’m probably home by six. Anderson had a few files he wanted me to look over before I go.” “Cool, did he say what for?” She asked curiously, looking up at him through the edges of her eyelashes. “Something about the city bridge and the town hall.” The corners of his mouth twitched at the sight of her big green eyes. “Oh, you know, people will be furious if you don’t give them a heads up before you change either of those.” She felt his beard nod lazily against her head. “The week’s schedule?” He pointed to the excel sheet divided into colourful brackets. “No, today’s.” Alexander faked a surprised face; this was protocol by now. “Most of it is home office stuff though,” she continued shrugging. “So, I can start packing while I wait for some of them to answer my emails. And hopefully they all get back to me today, so I don’t have to give any of this a second thought when we’re in Italy.” She clapped her hands together excitedly, letting her head wander into the Dolce far Niente. “Coffee, pastries, pasta, beautiful sunsets, beaches, Italians, I mean, is there anything not to like.” Alexander’s hazel eyes lit up, “Yeah, a break will be good, even if it is a work trip.” He added, nudging her shoulder. “Pfft,” she waved his words out of the air between them. “Three meetings tops, and I’ll be ready to roam around on vespas.” The energy she radiated never failed to impress him. “Oh, it’s almost eight, do you want to watch the morning news?” She pointed to the TV. He hesitated, but before he had time to answer she had already gathered her things. “Just update me on the good stuff, when it’s over.” A light kiss on his cheek and she disappeared into her office. Creature of habit, he thought about himself. He watched the news every morning and every evening, had the same breakfast every morning, wore the same style of clothes as he had 5 years earlier when they first met. Sophia, however, was always moving. New people, new food, new projects: she thrived exploring new parts of the world. Sometimes he worried he was too ‘normal’ for her. On the coffee table was the Daily Mail from a few days ago. They had sat together starstruck by Sophia’s picture on page 5. THE NEW WAY OF IMAGINATION, the article read. Everyone told her not to invest in Mind Makers’ new machine. “Just wait until they’ve done more tests,” they said. But Sophia Landson followed her gut, and for that, the creators’ creative process might have changed forever. “My thoughts immediately went to all the writers in my publishing company when they told me about their invention. Just the thought of what this can mean for someone in a writer’s block or for someone who works better with visuals, I just couldn’t say no. It’s too good,” Landson answered modestly. Mind Makers’ machine turns thoughts directly into visuals and are meant to spike the creator’s imagination up to 40%! Gunshots ringing through the living room caught Alexander’s attention. Demonstrations had broken out along the West Coast, and the temperature was changing in New York as well. It was the gun laws. Petition after petition, plea after plea. More and more parents had come out, begging the government to do something. Their kids did not feel safe in school anymore. The number of home-schooled kids had never been higher, and the mental health of the generation suffered because of it. And now there were riots in the streets because of it. Alexander sighed, switching to a different news channel as Sophia re-entered, stepping softly in her big fuzzy socks.
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“I think I’m ready for breakfast now.” Some things never changed, like the way she smiled over the little things, and the way her long wavy hair danced over her back as she moved around. “Did they say anything new?” He cast an unsure glance over his shoulder, this channel was gentler. “The global temperature is decreasing after they added those clauses to the Paris-agreement a couple of years ago.” “Wow, that’s something I never thought I was going to hear. Oh, I wanted to show you something!” Excitedly, she ran into the office and returned with her computer. “I found this poem collection I wrote in college. Look, I think I wrote it about two years before I met you.” A wish upon an eyelash Coffee in the morning Pasta in the evening Calm after hectic days Shelter from the storm Belly laughs and low shoulders Home A wish upon an eyelash. “Yeah, that’s nice,” he nodded as if agreeing, unaware of what he agreed to. Her eyes sparkled. “Don’t you see it? It’s you. You’re my wish.”
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One Sweet Embrace By Kayla Delaney A flower sits among the dried grass, alive, reddened, a beating heart of petals, alone, waiting. Wanting. A beast approaches, hands like hammers, crunching its feet upon the burnt grassy floor and finds itself before this flower, alone. It towers above, reaching a thumb towards the yellow within, rubbing with a gentle caress upon the contents, soft. It knows its strength To press into this flower, but also that to prematurely rip it loose from the ground gives no effort. It knows exactly what its doing. The flower, quivering, extends its petals around the beast’s fingers that cradle it, so warm and sweet, yet so mesmerising, so enticing, so threatening. Is this the end of the line? So be it. The flower opens, widens, and spreads cautiously to the beast’s hand, tendrils tickling up its arm and swaying over its shoulder, a leaf sprouting like a finger that runs along the beast’s chin,
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behind the ear and looping through a lock of the curly hair. More, more, more shoot forth to loosely wrap itself around the beast, movements like whispers that plead for one sweet embrace. And the beast and the flower are entangled within one another, skin to reddened petals, passionate and dedicated and loving fingers tracing the flower’s stem and tendrils, locking through the leaves and pulling, pulling upon one another. The grass around them begins to grow, green and luscious and soft to receive the two creatures tumbling into the ground, wrapped and hungry for one another’s attention. And still the beast towers over the flower, and still the flower opens further to welcome this one sweet embrace. And the petals cannot help but shake.
The Palace of Dreams By Varya
something is out of order in the palace of dreams tonight. the maids have not lit the fire or the candles leaving the mantelpiece coughing in the dark marble hall. half a dirty moon reflected on his side I the court jester am if there is glass in on the floor, head the windows. I see a leaning on my misblue swamp stretchtress’s chair. I close ing in all directions. my eyes and imagine for the first time I how in the middle pay attention to how of the ball she – the desperately the tall most woman on grass is staggering in earth – would seek the gusts of wind. I me out in the crowd, the court jester wish cup my face in her I angelic hands and could go to my maswhisper in a deep ter’s room and curl velvet voice: “Darup on the sofa beling...” the polished hind the curtain, but parquet used to the I am afraid. Isense constant galloping that tonight the of hypocritical heels palace of dreams is now glimmers naked filled with skeletons, and shameful. this half a dirty moon darkness does not shining through need my jokes nor their eye sockets. my truth. the cold crystal shards of the has reached the inchandelier mixed sides of my bones. I with pearls from a the court jester may lady’s necklace are be alone in the palall over the parlour. ace of dreams. when under the whalebone the room is beaming crinoline is my miswith light and coltress – no ligaments ours the windows be- to hold her together. come full of smiles, something has shatgrotesque hair styles, tered in the palace of hats, polite bows, dreams tonight. I am and intricate brow the only one left. but movements. but toI am not the one to night, I am not sure pick up the pieces
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Dear Davison Dear Davison, I think I have seasonal depression and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Dear Reader, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Without trying to sound like a cliché, you are not alone. I have heard plenty of people have similar issues and the winter months are scientifically proven to lower moods and slow people down. But this is okay. This is the time to slow down. You are not behind or the only person feeling like this. As you have written in, I can see that you want to move out of this feeling, and that is a good first step. So, I hope a mixture of some more basic tips (that feel obvious but do work) and some other examples from personal experience, can give you some solace. I do not think the answer is as simple as waking up earlier and making sure you get sunlight. Getting up and out of the house is of course a good tip, but it is not that easy. When you feel like you are spiralling or cannot get out of bed one of the worst things someone can say is, ‘why don’t you just [fill in the blank with some inspirational bs like make a cup of tea]’. Therefore, I want to give you a try and give you some advice you might not have come across before. One of my favourite tips I read about in James Clear’s Atomic Habits is the idea of ‘habit stacking’. This is when you link something you want/need to do with something you enjoy doing. For example, in order to make sure you do get out of bed, I would arrange to meet a friend at a certain time. That way you’ll have a plan to look forward to, with the added bonus of getting up and setting up your day. This could also be, going on a walk but making a feel-good playlist to listen to whilst you stroll. This practice can give yourself motivation to do things you are finding hard, whilst rewarding yourself and having a sense of achievement. Again, I know some tips may seem obvious, but here are a few quick and easy ideas to start feeling better. 1) Eat comforting and warming meals. Tesco makes some great hearty soups that take minutes to heat up. They can be a great base to add in other things like veggies, pasta like orzo, or even just some bread to dip. 2) Get moving. A 15-minute walk around campus or near your house can make the world of difference. Either use it to clear your head or maybe try a podcast. 3) Pick up a new hobby. Personally, sitting down with a good book is my way of doing something I enjoy whilst making time for myself. I have even found a community of readers online that I regularly talk to and update! My old housemate picked up crochet and made her own clothes. I know others like to do their nails and watch their comfort TV series. Not only could you learn a new skill, but you could find a community of people who also enjoy your hobby. 4) Reach out. Talk to your friends even if it is just on social media in your bed. You are not alone and making the effort to start conversations can lead to plans with friends, people looking out for you, and a greater sense of community. You may also feel like you would like to reach out to professionals, the university and your tutors are only an email away. I hope this has helped you and sharing your problem has given you some relief. I know many others will sympathise with feeling like this and I hope this has supported you too!
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Useful Contacts: RHUL Counselling: counselling@royalholloway.ac.uk RHUL Wellbeing Team: wellbeing@royalholloway.ac.uk The GP Surgery Email: frimleyicb.rhchealthcentre@nhs.net The GP Surgery Telephone Number: 01784 819131
The Crossword
Across 4. form of female contraception/muscle under the ribcage that assists breathing (9) 6. showing no sensitivity or understanding of acceptable behaviour (5) 9. acts of service, physical touch, etc (4,8) 12. faith, reliance, belief in: noun or verb (5) 13. the art of [verb form]ing someone/a tempting or attractive thing (9) 15. dote on, cherish: verb (5)
Down 1. the Jitters, worries: noun (6) 2. a phrase or word with two meanings, one of them often risqué (6,8) 3. received for occasions, treasured things (5) 5. kind, tender, calm: adj. (6) 7. doing the horizontal tango, colloquially (3) 8. rudimentary numbered ranking of intimate experiences (4) 10. deep reaction, felt in or as if in the internal organs, not intellectual – instinctive, unreasoning (8) 11. this issue’s broad theme/close familiarity (8) 14. orange-coated woodland denizen/silverhaired attractive older man (3)
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Ask Orbital Send Olivia and Beth your questions either via the anonymous contact form on Instagram (@orbitalmagazine) or send an email to editor.orbital@royalholloway.su. As you are both in your final year of your undergraduate degrees, what comes next after graduation?
What have your journeys as part of The Orbital been like up to now?
Beth: I am pursuing a career in sports journalism, so currently I am applying for some graduate schemes as well as some Masters courses, and I will see where I end up a little bit closer to the time!
Beth: I knew I wanted to be a part of Royal Holloway’s student publication well before I made the move to Egham. In my first year, I joined the magazine as a contributing writer and wrote for several different sections. During my second year, I became Senior Lifestyle Editor, which led me to discover how much I enjoyed leading a team and taking on an editorial role within journalism, almost as much as I loved writing. Now, I’m nearing the end of my time here and I couldn’t be more grateful for how many opportunities and learning experiences The Orbital has provided me with.
Olivia: I hate answering this question, mainly because it means I have to face the reality of what comes after the comfort of my degree. However, the plan is either an MA in International Journalism or, if I am lucky enough, a journalism graduate scheme. Either way I think it is pretty clear that I want to do something (anything!) journalism related. Can you give us any hints about the next issue? Beth: I’ll just say one thing: Madonna. Olivia: I was trying to think of one more thing to say but it would be too obvious… Let’s just say we have had the song title planned for a while now, thanks to the lovely Beth… Do you have to be an English student in some capacity to write for The Orbital? Beth: Definitely not! We are very lucky to have people on a broad range of courses across our team. Different skill sets, experiences, and interests bring their own value to journalism and being able to showcase that is one of my favourite things about The Orbital. Olivia: I completely agree with Beth. Having such a diverse team with different skills means the magazine has always been full of a wide range of content! Often I think people are worried that because they have not had direct journalism experience they cannot write for The Orbital. This is definitely not the case! I had never written an article before but it was thanks to the support I had from my Orbital team that I grew more confident with that style of writing.
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Olivia: I remember when I went to the Orbital taster session in my first year and I knew straight away it was something that I wanted to be a part of. I never thought I would be lucky enough to take on the role of EIC in my final year so I am incredibly grateful. But, it does show how my journey with the magazine really is something anyone who has just joined can achieve! Like Beth, I started out as a contributing writer then, in my second year I took on the role of Senior Culture Editor. And now I am here! What is the process behind finding song lyrics to match each of your issue themes? Olivia: It's pretty simple really, although we definitely make it more complicated than it needs to be! Essentially, when we come up with a new theme, we just fire different song lyrics at each other until we find the perfect one! Beth: I don't even want to think about how much time we have wasted scrolling through Spotify playlists searching for the right song. But the right song lyric makes each issue what it is!
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