Here’s some new laws which we could really utilize

Retorts:

Continued from page 3 finger. As in, “Yo! I know you! How’s it goin’?”

• Arguments: Married or engaged people who use the terms, “If you don’t know what’s wrong, I’m not going to tell you,” “You never liked my mother” or “maybe you should have married [insert name of long-ago two-date relationship]” should lose 1 percent of their share of community property every time it’s employed.

• Bleacher wisdom: The following are prohibited as being dumb.

1) Questioning a sport official’s call from your seat 50 rows up (assuming no Jumbotron);

2) Shouting: “Which team is your kid playing on?” or “Call ‘em both ways, ref!” when your own consumption of tasty alcoholic adult beverages makes you incapable of finding your car in the parking lot after the game, or during it when you are thrown out.

3) Specific to football (I hope): “Hit someone!”

What a great, helpful insight into modern gridiron strategy. Surely the Rams would have made it to the Super Bowl again this year if Sean McVay had simply yelled that from the sidelines 20 or 30 times a game.

Jim Tortolano’s Retorts column appears on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Continued from page 3

Also on the agenda will be a presentation by the city’s Parks, Recreation and Community Services Commission sharing their mission with the council and providing information on its current operation.

The council will meet in City Hall at 7800 Katella Ave. at 6:30 p.m.