The Skeptical Mom

When you’re expecting a child, your mind runs wild with thoughts about what kind of parent you’ll be and what your child will be like. Will I be a cool mom? A tough mom? A crunchy mom? A soccer mom? A dance mom? What will my kid be passionate about and how can I help her figure out what that is?

Of all the scenarios I dreamed up, there’s one I never imagined that has now become my reality. I’m a pageant mom. I never planned to become a pageant mom. I mean, I like shiny objects as much as the next girl, but I can barely manage a braid, much less a bouffant. My personal style tends more toward jeans and flip flops than crowns and bling.

Around this time last year, a friend reached out to encourage me to enter my then-first grade daughter, Vivian, in a local pageant. Her teenage daughter, also not a traditional pageant girl, was the reigning Miss Okaloosa County and had enjoyed a wonderful year as a queen. I asked Vivi if she was interested, and after I had to explain what a pageant is, she said yes, and we were all in.

18 • Tell them you saw it in ON THE COAST Magazine I was well-versed in Toddlers and Tiaras and fully expected a sea of over-glammed tots with fake teeth and high hair at the pageant. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the Miss Okaloosa County system was more natural, with no makeup allowed on the little girls and no outrageous costumes (which I now know are called Outfit of Choice, or OOC).

While I stressed about Vivi wearing her Easter dress as some girls wore beaded ball gowns, and her stick-straight hair losing curl despite my repeated attempts to bend it to my will, she nailed the interview with the judges and ended up winning the darn thing. You could say Vivi is a bit of a talker. She gets that from her dad, bless their hearts. What started as a whim on a Sunday afternoon turned into a life-changing event for our whole family.

The pageant itself was fun for the girls, but that was just a small part of life as Little Miss Okaloosa County. If you’ve followed my writings, you know that Vivi is an only child, much to her lament. All of a sudden, she had sister queens. Hanging out with her Miss and Teen Miss is the coolest thing ever, and Tiny Miss and Toddler Miss are peas in a pod with her. continued on page 20

The bonds she has formed with these girls will no doubt last a lifetime, and their moms and the pageant director have all become dear friends of mine, being infinitely patient with all of my questions and teaching me valuable lessons like how to keep a crown secure while flinging beads and candy from a moving vehicle during a parade.

As Little Miss Okaloosa County, Vivi qualified to represent our area at the National Peanut Festival Pageant in Dothan, Alabama. Only the Miss and Little Miss winners move on to that competition. This might not sound like a big deal to the uninitiated among you, but Peanut has been called the “Miss America of the South.” In pageant circles, it’s a big deal. Many of the girls competing in this pageant had dreamt of it their whole lives, and several were legacies. Their mothers, aunts, and grandmothers all had been Little Misses before them. Vivi was up against 45 other girls from across Northwest Florida, Southeast Alabama, and Southwest Georgia. This is where I really expected to run into crazed pageant moms of little divas with plots to sabotage my seven-year-old. That’s not at all what happened.

We spent our summer traveling to parties hosted by “the competition” and attending pageant rehearsals in Dothan. I had never met a more supportive and welcoming community of women and girls. Vivi formed close friendships and had the time of her life. We found that when the girls weren’t officially on queen duty, they had diverse interests that included fishing, flag football, martial arts, riding ATVs, and softball.

When it came time for the pageant in October, it just wasn’t her night on the stage. After five minutes of tears, we hugged and congratulated our friends and went out for a celebratory dinner. These girls, all 7 or 8 years old, had walked onstage in front of 3,000 people! And no matter the outcome, everyone got to ride on a float in the parade and go to the fair.

This year has been filled with parades, ribbon cuttings, charity events, sleepovers, festivals, friends, and even a declaration of Vivian Lucy Day by the county commissioners. I can never say thank you enough to all the people who made this such a magical year for my girl. The pageant I was so skeptical about gave her sisters, bonus moms, new friends, fun experiences, and confidence. Don’t make the same mistake I did by prejudging pageant girls as just pretty princesses. These girls are queens, and they are learning to rule.

Conversations with a Queen Little Miss Okaloosa County Vivian Lucy, age 7

What did you enjoy most about being Little Miss Okaloosa County? “It was fun to go to Peanut and get to meet more girls. My sister queens are really nice and kind to me.”

What is your favorite activity as a queen? “Parades are my favorite. I like to throw candy to kids.”

What is your least favorite thing about pageants? Some of the dresses aren’t that comfortable. Some are itchy. They can get caught on your hair, and that hurts.”

2020 Miss Okaloosa County Pageant Sunday, March 29 The Island Hotel Ballroom, Okaloosa Island Application deadline: March 20 Divisions: Baby - birth to 24 months, Toddler - 3, 4 years old, Tiny - 5, 6 years old, Little - 1st grade now, Young - 7 - 10 years old, Junior - 11 - 13 years old, Teen - 14 - 16 years old, and Miss - 17 - 21 years old. All ages are as of October 16, 2020. For more information, visit missokaloosacounty.com.

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