The New Mancunian Magazine

14.1

Syria An Opinion

+Satire MGS

Societies Review

Mr. Pickwick: the interview

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MGS has a proud tradition of encouraging liberal- mindedness amongst its student body. This publication is designed to encourage free thinking and open-minded, mature discussion on matters including politics, religion and current affairs. It is not the intention of any writer involved in its production to cause offence. Accordingly, the views and opinions contained herein are those of individual writers and are not official school policy.

A note from the editors: We welcome you to the New Mancunian, where epiphanies are captured and given eternal life in the immortal form of journalism, so all future generations can momentarily forget reality. Before we contemplate the fields of Syria and Old Trafford, thanks are in order – to Barry ‘Chief Censor’ Townsend; to Nabeel Ahmed whose artistic prowess and attention to detail has brought our articles to life, to Mark Barclay for his unique insights and, most importantly, to our cravat of contributors.

that is constantly replenished and continued. Here at the New Mancunian we are looking forward to an historic new year; we will be moving to a digital platform from January and will encourage years lower down to partake in such a worthwhile institution. The editing process has been tough and unforgiving; we have read every article submitted and given personal feedback to all (a very productive use of our time). But, why dilly-dally any longer with the administrative mumbo-jumbo…

This issue was meant to be released (and then promptly forgotten) in September. It is a testament to the MGS way that we ignored so-called ‘deadlines’ and simply took several steps backwards to challenge the social norm. Anyone can meet a deadline, only some can miss it by several months. In the absence of an explanation this may appear to be poor organisation – so I shall now proceed to make one up. Long ago there were two wise old men called Omar and Yusuf, they came across a village in the mountains and were amazed to see the derelict state it had been left in; plates unwashed in sinks, litter everywhere and a complete lack of leadership: this was the state the once illustrious New Mancunian was left in by the previous Editorial Team. Over the past year we have cleaned the dishes restoring quality journalism to this publication, efficiently enforced censorship and set up a rolling team

An Overview – Our Current Affairs section opens with a powerful and eye opening piece by Osamah Aiar on the covert forms of slavery which plague the world to this very day. Daniel Duffy presents a passionate and eloquent critique of the non-interventionism that he believes characterises the present liberal attitude towards Syria, and how he believes such a stance runs contrary to our democratic principles. Yusuf Tayara closes the section with a deeply personal and affecting account of the situation in Syria that is informed by his first hand perspective, weaving insights into the reality of life in Syria with his understanding of the abstraction of theology which affects it so profoundly. We continue on a more light-hearted note with Satire where thanks to Hamaad Yousaf what happens on Trek ends up in the New Mancunian. Tony Page | 2

Liu dissects talent shows such that you'll never watch one again without throwing up. Finally for all those of you who missed out on "High School Musical" back in the day, Alex Taylor provides a fool proof guide to getting MGS out of our idiosyncratic English ways and into conformity with the clichés of American high school (who says this magazine is useless?) Next up is Arts and Entertainment where we start with an introduction to J-dramas by Sam Heath who writes a fascinating article on a popular Japanese show which showcases the elements which have made this such a popular genre in the east and the west. Mark Barclay provides a tribute to his fellow neurotic, Woody Allen, whose mixture of toilet humour and philosophy is as about a cheap a substitute to the couch as you’re going to find this side of Park Avenue. We move from neurosis to possibly psychosis with a compelling and disturbing piece of experimental poetry by Ramandeep Mungur which explores the darker side of human nature when unleashed from its repressions.

Good Luck – you will need it, I hope you have as much fun reading it as we did editing these wonderful articles,

Omar Hameed / Yusuf Tayara / Mark Barclay

Editorial Team: Yusuf Tayara / Omar Hameed Mark Barclay Nabeel Ahmed Anand Thalava

Having dealt with the darkly existential stylings of Mr Mungur where better to proceed than Sport? Alex Parkin gives his opinion on youth development in the England Squad; arguing that perhaps more internationalism may be of benefit to the development of the apparently beautiful game. For all those of you still fuming over the quarter finals of the last World Cup (seriously?), Daniel Delew shows us how the implementation of video technology in Football may be more complicated that you might think. Page | 3

Ten Minutes with Mr. Pickwick

Sir, it's the end of a long and illustrious career at MGS. What would you say are your most memorable moments over the years? I remember the most frightening thing that ever happened. There was a boy leaning back on his chair, a foot away. While I turned to mark the register he fell back entirely onto a hard floor. I can hear the bang to this very day. It was just an inch... but I couldn’t save him. If he had fallen even a fraction later I would have caught him... it was 30 years ago in P12... quite frightening. The saddest moment is also quite memorable. It was when a dear colleague of mine, Arthur Khan the Head of Science, was found dead in his office. He was reading papers and passed away. He was found by the senior Chemistry Assistant I recall. It was horrible, even after all these years I still remember it vividly. Your happiest memory perhaps?

I’ve never been happier than when I saw the ICL computer come to life in S15. It was a huge effort to assemble it for the first time...but actually seeing it...in the Chemistry blocks...was just amazing. Actually seeing that moment on screen was just amazing, especially in the early days of computers. What do you have to say about
your time in the physics department? Are there any special professional bonds you've formed with anyone? In the Physics department it has been very interesting with everyone in The Physics department has many people who have been and are energetically positive. Ian Thorpe, now retired, who was our previous Director of Appeal. He preferred English, but I did so much work on computers with him... it was nice to be able to work across boundaries.

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So the question everyone really wants to know, why physics? My father was an engineer who died when I was a teenager, but then I was very lucky to be found by a family friend who ran an electrical engineering company in Urmston. I worked with him during the summer. Electronics is simply a natural extension of physics. The pathways when I studied were very linear, it was not possible to change direction...if you fell out, that was it. In addition to this, I had an excellent teacher – John – he was so thorough and quiet. It was very high quality Sixth Form teaching. I hardly needed to think about it after doing all the experiments and studying the theories. So that was why I chose Physics. I have never regretted it for a moment. I got my MSC and then went back to Plan A. My great experience at Urmston Grammar School inspired this. I am a rare person in that I have studied my subject for my whole life. Normally by forty you are managing, except in universities. Yet I am still studying it and see Physics in everything. So would you say you are definitely a physicist overall? Is it more to you than your career? I am 100% permeated by physics, and I always have been – especially astrophysics. I am curious about the inside and measurements of stars just by looking at them..., thinking of the technology required. Once a physicist, always a physicist... my colleagues would agree. Those who stopped were not thinking about Physics 24/7, but I am – although they are all still tuned in. Why should the younger generation pursue physics?

more about the world in which we inhabit. You can be sure you’ll have a happy career in which you can participate, whether you are an engineer or teacher. You never need worry about having someone to talk to about what you are interested in. For me, it’s at Astronomy conferences. I’ll go in knowing two of a thousand and come out with universal friendships... having been able to talk to anyone there. What about the future Sir? Anything you would advise us to look out for? Medical physics. I have a sneaky suspicion about its future, and I expect it to be the next big thing. I've been asked this before. Optical fibres... where would we be without them? In the 70’s I predicted how important they’d be, before they were. I perceived that this would be a critical area... that was just starting to be talked about. An inspired idea. Also a chemistry teacher once told me in 1964/5 when they first started drilling in the North Sea – ‘It’s the oil, not gas!’ Wolfgang Rosenberg showed too that occasionally, you can predict the future. ‘Teleportation needs developing.... Proving difficult’

Book Recommendation Isaac Asimov - the Foundation Trilogy. A thousand years in the future set on different planets

'futuristic ideas' 'not quite science-fiction, science possible.’

The Physics department is so friendly – why? As we share a common purpose, to discover Page | 5

Current Affairs

The Extent of Modern Day Slavery Over

the centuries, slavery has been repeatedly defended and attacked in different cultures. Despite it being one of the best sources of human capital, it began to see opposition in the 3rd century B.C. from the Qin dynasty who were one of the first nations to temporarily abolish slavery. Islamic reformers then abolished slavery after its introduction, in what is now known as Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of the 7th century C.E. During this period imported slavery was very popular. Finally the Universal Declaration of Human Rights of 1948 banned slavery as a violation of human rights, and made it a universal law that aimed to end slavery for good. As a result of the struggle against slavery and the attempted removal of systematic dehumanisation of certain groups of people in many nations between these times, slavery is no longer commonplace. However, slavery remains widespread in various guises around the world. The exact figures for the number of people in slavery vary from one organisation to another given the illicit nature of the trade. The estimates by Amnesty International are at roughly 12 million slaves while the International Labour Organisation (ILO) estimates that around 21 million humans are currently in forced labour, an all-time high. It is a problem that has been kept underground by the slave owners or masked to make what

is technically slavery look like it is consensual work that ostensibly makes the victim a ‘happier person’. This includes practices such as bonded labour, forced labour, forced marriage, trafficking and the traditional slavery by descent. The most common of these is bonded labour- slavery as a result of falling in debt to your owner- accounting for about 11.7 million of the 21 million existing slaves according to the ILO. People are sometimes scammed into excepting a better life in a foreign place such as the U.A.E. should they agree to a contract to place themselves in debt and hand over their rights to return home. One example is the unfortunate case for many of the migrant workers building the famous skyscrapers that have begun to pop up in places such as Dubai at a frighteningly efficient rate. People willing to escape the poverty of their home countries have the opportunity to borrow money and pay to be transported there and start working to be able to send their income back home. An attractive opportunity at first, it may seem less so when the workers realise that their passports are taken off them upon arrival and that their incomes are too low for them to be able to pay back their employers. Striking and the formation of labour unions are both illegal, leaving the once excited worker entrapped in a cycle of being transported between work for up to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week on a skyscraper under temperatures reaching over 50 degrees C and their secure communal living. Though this is not the traditional definition of slavery we are accustomed to and by no means the worst of examples, it is Page | 6

considered a serious form of slavery as the victims have been deceived into spending their lives subordinated to their employers and their debt with little hope of freedom. All of this is done within the boundaries of the country’s laws. Maybe we should consider our own future student loans we will pile up, to be a form of mass bonded slavery imposed by the banks for all the upcoming generations. Perhaps the bondage of slavery can now be perpetrated more easily than ever, not through force but through economic artifice.

excited, very few of us would be willing to give up the privileged lifestyle we lead in order to potentially help people in a foreign land. We could start buying fair-trade goods instead and end up being scammed into slavery ourselves because we can’t afford to live anymore. But unfortunately the only thing likely to happen of course is that we continue to live the way we do, benefiting from the slave trade if we happen to do so by accident and repressing the subsequent sense of guilt for the rest of our lives.

The other more traditional, illegal forms of slavery that involve the ownership of an individual are also still prevalent throughout the world. Something we must not assume is non-existent just because we have learnt about this type of slavery based on one’s ethnicity or heritage in history lessons. It does exist in the same way it always has. People are still born into prostitution in Bangladesh or into slavery on a farm in West Africa. All of course to the advantage of the owners who get ‘freebies’ from their current flock.

Osamah Aiar

One may ask oneself what they can do to help prevent such issues. We can always politely ask the elites and the gangs responsible for the various forms of slavery to stop doing what they do, however, criminals don’t normally respond to such requests. We could also stop buying things we don’t know the exact source of. The cotton in your clothes or the coffee in your cup could well be produced by slaves; who knows? So let’s stop buying things and all live in a commune for the rest of our lives. However, before we all get too Page | 7

The Changing Face of the British Armed Forces The

British Army has undergone drastic changes recently in an attempt to cut costs and maintain current targets. Due to the new imposed budget cuts on the MOD by the Conservative government the army have been forced to lay off 8,000 troops from Royal Fusiliers, the Royal Engineers, the Royal Lancers, the Army Air Corps and the Mercian Regiment. These cuts will reduce the total number of regular servicemen and women to 86,000, the lowest since 1700. Also the present 7,000 senior officers are to be cut in half saving £144million pounds per annum with Conservative MP Julian Brazier claiming that the army is ‘overcommanded’ and ‘over-administered’. Not everyone would agree though. Lt Colonel Tim Collins describes the changes as crippling and says they ‘will severely reduce the armies’ capacity to fulfil operations abroad’, in particular Afghanistan in which over 9,000 troops serve every six months. A further 4,000 cuts scheduled to take place before 2020 have forced the army to review its worldwide operations, such as the Nijmegen company of the Grenadier Guards being repatriated back to Britain and the garrison closed, leaving Germany free of UK military presence for the first time since the end of World War II. The result was on the 18th June 2013 letters were delivered to 5,200 active soldiers making them redundant, contradicting the set cuts

and raising questions. Compensation is required for the loss of troops and the planned imposition of a 45-years old age cap on all senior officers. The MoD have been forced to drive a recruiting campaign for the territorial army in an attempt to gain a further 30,000 territorial troops to increase the deployable task force, however, the once renowned quality of the British Army will be no longer present due to a lack of full-time soldiers. These cuts will not only just restrict the operational effectiveness of the army but also damage its historical importance. These cuts are expected to continue until 2020 and are putting entire regiments at risk. Recently, regiments such as the ‘Green Howards’ have already been put into suspended animation but no one is immune with other elite units such as The Parachute Regiment being at risk due to parachutes having not been used in battle since the Suez Crisis of 1956. This would end the great traditions of our country, once a military and economic powerhouse of Europe. Instead we are being strangled by budget cuts-initiated without consideration of the morale and national pride of the armed forces and population. Why will people apply to serve if at a week’s notice they can be dismissed without a pension despite their past of serving in Afghanistan? While the age-cap of 45 will limit their employment possibilities once they have risked their lives – only to find themselves unemployed, and their replacements lacking vital experience. It’s not only the Army experiencing cuts however; the Navy and Air Force have felt the cuts tremendously. After the purchase of two brand new Queen Elizabeth Page | 8

aircraft carriers in the 1997 Strategic Defence review in a £7bn project and two new Astute- class nuclear submarines, much was expected. However, due to the Strategic Defence Review of 2010 the submarine purchases have been postponed and the fate of the second aircraft carrier is in doubt with the possibilities of it never being commissioned, being placed in an extended state of readiness or being instead sold to an ally. The first carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth is expected to be in service with the Royal Navy in 2017 yet hope is lost for the forty-eight F-35B’s. Currently, we have no carriers, severely limiting the capabilities of our once world-beating navy with this including the loss of the entire harrier fleet from both the RAF and Royal Navy.

ll’s to the Fleet Air Arm. Yet the RAF of those active after the Falkland’s War with all 72 Harrier ll’s, which were meant to stay operational until 2018, to leave only a 2 year gap between their retirement and the introduction of the Lightning’s. Instead, all were sold to the USMC for 116 million GBP, a logic defying decision took place as they were sold on the ground of them being too old to be operationally effective - when the USMC still use them greatly today. The armed forces have been radically scaled down and the full impact of this may soon be felt. TOM WINDOWS

The HMS Ark Royal, the longstanding flagship of the Royal Navy, was decommissioned following the 2010 Strategic Defence Review and is soon to be followed by the Illustrious. The reason for their removal being the decommission of all seaworthy aircraft (i.e. the harrier fleet and the forced retirement of many of the pilots). Although the latter is soon to be decommissioned into a preserved role to display the 60 years of active service these carriers have given, preserving some of its history. After the decommissioning of the harrier fleet the active strike and fighter aircraft number a mere 219 with a planned addition of the 45 Lightning number still only stands at nearly half

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SOLIDARITY, RESPONSIBILITY, LIBERATION: A CASE FOR INTERVENTION The

phrase “Western Intervention” is not fashionable at the moment, but it is one that needs discussing given some present events. The most obvious case would seem to be Syria, where there are two opposing groups of militants, both butchering large numbers of people; many of them innocent. The country has descended into levels of chaos and horror that have not been matched since Iraq in 2006. The Assad regime in Syria has even resorted to using chemical weapons against its own civilian population, which has killed large numbers of people (children included), in a gruesome fashion. This use of chemical weapons is undoubtedly significant, although I have to say I find it nowhere near as significant as some, in particular the US administration, have made out. The position of the US is essentially that the usage of chemical weapons against civilians constitutes a “red line” that will be sufficient to warrant their intervention. It is unclear why the regime’s chosen method of mass slaughter is so important in deciding policy towards Syria – why is this latest massacre using chemicals worse than all the previous massacres? I have come across no answer to this, but I nonetheless welcome the implied suggestion that the US may now

intervene seriously in Syria. It seems obvious to me that the best action “Western” powers could take right now is to engage in a wholehearted and competently executed military mission in Syria. The aim I would suggest would be “peacekeeping”, consisting mostly of fighting the regime and the collection of ideologically driven groups wherever they can be fought. I can see that cost is an issue in the current economic situation but I can think of few better causes money could be spent on if the fighting is undertaken in as careful and competent a manner as possible; thus avoiding some of the mistakes made by the west in Afghanistan and Iraq. The UK parliament’s decision to abandon Syria, letting it rot and sink into ever deeper levels of chaos, by ruling out UK military intervention is a shameful and sickening one which will be regretted deeply. Iraq provides a case study on what may happen in Syria if we don’t intervene. To avoid confusion here I should state plainly that I think the Coalition-led invasion of Iraq in 2003 was moral, necessary, long overdue, and inevitable. Explaining this view is not my main aim here but to summarise my reasons would be: the Iraqi regime’s defiant violation of a vast number of non-proliferation treaties and resolutions, its campaigns of genocide against the Kurds, its support for international terrorists, its killing of at least a million people needlessly in its war with Iran, its fascistic and brutal oppression of its people, its vast oilfields which could not be left under Saddam’s private control, and its impending civil war which was coming like Christmas and would have been far worse than the Page | 10

post-2003 fighting in which coalition troops were, thankfully, involved. I hope you can see where some of the parallels with Syria’s current situation arise here: terrorism, a brutal fascist dictatorship, illegal chemical weapons, and mass killings. These situations also share a more important facet though – the overdue nature of the intervention. It is obvious to most people now, that the situation in Iraq would have been vastly better for the last 20 years, had the US “finished the job” in 1991 and removed Saddam Hussein’s regime when it had the chance after the First Gulf War. The decision instead to put off that inevitable conflict until thousands more had died under Saddam and from starvation under the UN sanctions meant that when the utterly predictable implosion of sectarian violence finally arrived, it was far more horrific than if the country had become a liberated democracy in the early 90s with “Western” help. I believe that this lesson should be applied very carefully to Syria, where I feel that once again we are faced with a dire situation which is getting progressively more dire, and where a Western military intervention will undoubtedly become necessary at some point, and is therefore inevitable. Western governments should seriously consider facing that problem preemptively, and decide to act now so that the post-fascist era in Syria can be brought on as quickly as possible, and with as little further bloodshed as possible. I also think that similar arguments can be made about Egypt’s situation, though probably to a lesser extent.

The military coup in Egypt has led to widespread violence; mainly between the new military regime, and the Muslim Brotherhood and its supporters. It is less clear than Syria where the situation in Egypt is going (although it looks pretty atrocious at the moment) so calls for immediate Western military presence in Egypt would certainly be premature. Nevertheless it is laughable that the US administration has refused to refer to the military takeover as a ‘military coup’, and that at the time of writing it has still made no decision on whether to suspend military aid to Egypt’s government. This is a government laying Mosques full of civilians under siege and using live ammunition against its population. The UK government has also been discouragingly weak in its treatment of the regime- it is not entirely clear what aid will be sent to the new Egyptian ‘government’ and little seems to be talked about regarding actual ways to actively stop the violence. Again, as in Syria, the groups which comprise the opposition in the fight against the government are questionable in character. The Muslim Brotherhood is a fundamentalist Islamic organisation – exactly the kind of group that it has been proved time and time again simply cannot provide a viable model for a healthy, democratic and free society. In fact it’s conceivable that many of the current problems might have been avoided had Mohamed Morsi’s opponent, Ahmed Shafik (a secular candidate), won the 2012 election in Egypt. So the situation in Egypt is much less clear; once again both sides are quite obviously deeply unpleasant, democracy has probably been Page | 11

abandoned for the time being and the violence is becoming more intense with more casualties every day, but all to a much lesser extent than in Syria. Nonetheless one thing is still clear-we must be prepared to intervene in Egypt (to whatever extent is required) if it becomes apparent that it will be beneficial in the long run. We must be capable of thinking pre-emptively about the political problems in Egypt, especially given the lack of a viable, secular or even just moderate candidate for government at the present time. If we refuse to think carefully about the future in Egypt, we may yet again have an even more awful failed state on our hands, which could have been averted had we only been prepared to nip it in the bud. The liberal movement has, since 9/11, been filled with an ant-Americanism or even just anti-Westernism that leads many liberals and leftists to think that any foreign policy taken by America or western powers in general simply cannot be moral; and that noninterventionism in situations like Syria, Egypt and North Korea is the only moral position to take. This is morally inconsistent. The fact is, that the “Western” countries of the world have a huge amount of (even these days) economic and military power. They can either choose to use this influence solely for self-defence and selfpreservation, refusing to intervene militarily in foreign states- an arguably selfish course of action, or it can choose to act in an imperialistic manner, using this power to steal resources or in some way benefit itself by harming others through invasions or coups or puppet states. A third option is that they use their power competently and morally to make the

world a better place wherever possible, even if it means less money and effort is spent on problems ‘at home’. This can involve aid or business relationships, but it can also involve sending well trained troops to foreign countries, to competently and carefully remove the most potent threatens to stability and subsequently provide some manner of order and democracy to restore a general state of wellbeing. Daniel Duffy

ILLEGAL, IMMORAL AND DANGEROUS Why intervention in Syria would be counterproductive The barbarity of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s regime has caused millions to seek a quick Page | 12

military solution to this crisis. As political and media leaders gear up for military strikes against Syria, the parallels that can be drawn between the lead-up to the war between the USA with Iraq should give us pause.

The

first reported use of chemical weapons came at 02:45 local time in Ein Tarma, 6km east of the Damascus. Within hours, dozens of shocking videos were uploaded to the Internet showing hundreds of adults and children writhing in pain (with no signs of external injury) demonstrating what were later described to be neurotic symptoms. On August 29th, David Cameron asked Parliament to support a motion which condemned the Syrian government for using chemical weapons, proposing a brief salvo of air strikes against them. This was rebuffed by a margin of 285 votes to 272. Though Cameron could still authorise British military action (through a fiat known as Royal prerogative), this is unthinkable. “It is clear to me that the British Parliament, reflecting the views of the British people, does not want to see British military action,” the Prime Minister conceded. “I get that and the government will act accordingly.” Recent polls show that Britons oppose the strikes on Syria by 2-1, with only a quarter in favour. We simply do not want his proposed fight. This attack was undoubtedly a morally repugnant and unforgiveable act of cruelty, violating the basic human rights of innocent Syrian citizens. Despite this we must acknowledge the Syrian regime’s recently released details about their poisonous gasses

and nerve agent programmes; which is a part of preparations to hand over their chemical weapons to the OPCW (Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons) by mid-2014. This is estimated to include over 10 000 tonnes of mustard gas and sarin, which is an extremely toxic gas that attacks the central nervous system, and causes convulsions and death. Officials from the Obama administration insist the attack was carried out by the Syrian regime, but the Institute for Policy Studies analyst Phyllis Bennis points out “We have not actually been given any solid evidence that this is the case.” Whilst it is unlikely that the opposition was behind the attack, rebel groups like AlQaeda are incentivised to use such weapons to trigger outside intervention in order to end the stalemate the country has endured since late 2011. Since the uprising began in Syria more than two years ago, a reported 80,000 people have died, millions have been displaced, and much of the country now lies in ruins. Nevertheless, the vast majority of senior military officers remain loyal to Assad. Support for the regime is fed by fear of the alternative. Faced with a Sunnidominated rebellion, Syria's minority groups, including Christians and Assad's own Alawites, fear they will at best live as second-class citizens, or at worse be massacred if the revolution succeeds. Samir, an Alawite who lives in a loyalist suburb of Damascus said "Bashar al-Assad cannot leave now. But if he does fly away, we will fly away too.”

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What’s more, intervention is highly likely to cause a conflict between the parties involved rather than peace; the past conflict between Iran and the USA bears testimony to this. This is an equally disastrous avenue to pursue; unlike Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya, the Syrian army are trained and armed with the most modern forms of artillery. Furthermore, since Assad came to power in 2000 he has been developing Syria’s offensive capabilities. The Free Syrian Army’s thousands of fighters are no match for Assad’s 320 000 soldiers, and this spring alone Syria installed a state-ofthe-art anti-aircraft system. Syria is a force to be reckoned with. Assad also keeps a tight grip on the Ba’ath party. It controls the mosques, schools and police meaning he can marshal large crowds of supporters in Damascus. At Friday prayers across Syria, Muslim’s pray for the strength of the government and call upon the destruction of its enemies – Islamic reinforcement of Assad’s government in a deeply religious country should not be underestimated. The almost certain violence that intervention will incur will beget even more violence. Stephen Zunes, chair of Middle Eastern Studies at the University of San Francisco, believes military interventions actually worsen and lengthen violence in the short term. "Countries whose dictatorships are overthrown by armed groups … are far more likely to turn into new dictatorships, often accompanied by ongoing violence and factionalism," Zunes says in an article in Foreign Policy in Focus. Interventions are unable to resolve and reduce violence if they remain impartial; this would

certainly not be the case in any upcoming conflict in Syria. Intervention is a breach of international law. The U.N. declaration states that a country is not to attack another unless it is attacked first or unless it has been approved by the U.N. Security Council. If we intervene, we would break both of these protocols, intervention would be unlawful. To ignore this would we would create a damaging precedent to our people, if our government can break their laws then why can’t we break ours? Doing this would completely undermine our own legal system’s authority and contribute to a lawless world. To do this would whittle away the relationship the UK has with the U.N. Security Council. If we do not act morally and lawfully, we will contribute to a lawless world. How can we expect our views to be respected if we attack the system we operate within? To point out the blaringly obvious, as with any conflict, innocent civilians will almost certainly be killed and injured, adding to the death toll of 1 429. Additionally, a war could spill over into the countries that border Syria (Iraq, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, and Turkey); this could escalate rapidly and turn into a huge regional war involving Iran and therefore the U.S.A. Furthermore, as we have seen in the past with the American intervention in Iraq, both parties were left in worse shape; the new Iraqi government is not friendly with America and tensions remain high. With both countries constantly treading this political tightrope, 65% of Iraqi’s believe that Page | 14

conditions were better when they were still under Saddam Hussain’s regime (WSJ). If our intervention results in the removal of Assad from power, the long term effects will be disastrous both within the Syrian population and politically. Military intervention is ill-conceived, short-sighted, counter-productive and more likely to increase the death toll rather than putting a halt to this madness. Moral impulse and outrage alone cannot shape foreign policy. Strategic calculations, national interests and geopolitical implications are paramount. Syria will prove to be yet another deadly and expensive ‘peace-mission’ for the West. Think Iraq but compounded by sectarianism and regional contagion. There is a method which has not been considered enough by any party, as boring as it may be: diplomacy. Tried and tested in the Cold War, diplomacy diffused a potentially disastrous situation through tireless negotiations and patience between America and Cuba, saving the lives of millions. The British connection with Syria is unique: Mr Assad’s wife is British, and her father is Syria’s de facto ambassador-at-large in Europe. Without Russian involvement, the Syrian regime will not budge. We need peace talks involving not only the parties who are fighting, but their backers as well; namely between Russia, Iran and France, with the U.S.A. being held at arm’s length. We need the opposing forces to come together to discuss and reach a compromise – before it is too late and they obliterate each other entirely. Aran Nerwan

A Rift in an Old World: Syria after the Unrest Religion

is being used to drive a wedge between the once happily united peoples of Syria. Historically the Syrian people have always stood together: Sufist leader Abdul Kader alJazairi protected Syrian Christians from the sectarian riots by hiding them in his estate, Jacobite Christians resisted Crusader forces with as much zeal as their Muslim neighbours and the great schools of the Umayyads and Abassids were filled with plenty of Jews, Christians and other religious groups. Traditionally speaking the two major religions of modern Syria preach tolerance to their adherents. 'Uwassikom bi Ahl al-thuma” is a command to Muslims to protect and respect their Jewish and Christian neighbours issued by the Prophet during his last speech. “Love thy neighbour” and many other similar concepts are prevalent in traditional Christian thought. All talk of theology aside, in practical terms the Islamic empire thrived in its diversity, and is now in ruins, largely due to intolerance and sectarian rivalry. This intolerance is not inherent in the theology itself, as history proves. Neither is it intrinsic to the peoples of this ancient land. So what happened? What is the reason behind the constant news of churches being blown up? Mosques being vandalised? Syrian Christians being terrorised by jihadist groups such as al-Nusra? Well it is entirely to do with power.

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“If you want to control a population, give them a God to worship.” Telling words these are from Noam Chomsky, and are largely relevant in trying to understand modern political conflict. Machiavelli wrote once of his “divide and conquer” concept, and there is no better way to divide than by creed. Religion is so personal and so emotively charged that a religious soul is by nature a passionate one. And it is easy to see how such passions can be excited and exploited with so little as a few eloquently spoken words, elegantly punctuated with a fluffy beard or white robe. The conflict in Syria has seen this traditional tolerance rent apart. A sojourn into the refugee camps this summer has however, proved to me that despite the news, Syrians are still, for the most part, brothers. Though Alawites and Sunnis now vie for power, the struggle is in its essence not sectarian, but authoritarian. The most sectarian of the groups are in practice the least religious. This should come as no surprise to those wellversed in the history of ‘religious conflict’. Al-Nusra are one of many ‘Islamist’ militant groups, others include Luwa’ al-Islam, Ahrar al-Sham and Sukour al-Islam. Not surprisingly these groups have reputations for indiscriminate violence and sexual misconduct, al-Nusra especially have been caught up in stories of scandal and terror. There is a definite element of hypocrisy evident to anyone with a more than perfunctory view of the Syrian issue. These groups make up a small but powerful faction of the Syrian opposition, but by no means represent the Syrian opposition in its entirety,

especially as many of the self-styled jihadists are not actually Syrian. One such person I met on my travels in the country asked me if I could get him permission with our charity to cross the border to distribute aid. When asked what kind of aid he answered with “no comment” and later proceeded to explain the importance of waging war as a Muslim Umma, disregarding the sizeable Christian population of Syria and displaying a starting lack of knowledge of Islamic ethics. He openly confessed to have no love for Syria, but saw it as part of a larger Umma that needs to be united under the banner of Islam, his own very particular brand of Islam. He was from Pakistan originally; he lives in London from what we could gather. This epitomises the sort of highly motivated, under-informed sector of the Islamic world that is pervading what was and is an essentially secular uprising. The fact is the sectarian guise is a clever one to trivialise what is underneath a fight between the oppressed and the oppressors (several heads or ‘Emirs’ of Islamist groups were conveniently released from Sahnaya prison by Assad early on in the uprising). The problem is that both sides are now oppressors, at least as far as anyone with any power is concerned. Never in history has there been religious hatred without underlying political motives. Take it as a rule that the truly pious would never get into the politics of hate. The people of Syria are aware of this, as they have been lied to and are now facing the consequences. They are constantly double-crossed by religious leaders Page | 16

who would forfeit their piety for a hollow material life. But this does not go for everyone and there are still those who believe the sectarianism to be justified, and sadly these Saudibacked fanatics are the most powerful, and the most irreverent. The Wahabi ideology of intolerance stems from an 18th century movement by an ancestor of the current Saudi royal family, whose accomplice Muhammad bin-Abdul Wahab issued a fatwa declaring all those who didn't agree with his religious ideology (though it has no backing in traditional Islamic scholarship) to be a disbeliever, Muslim or otherwise. His adherents take this further and seem obsessed with imposing a puritanical and militant vision of Islam on the whole Muslim world and beyond. This particularly severe and intolerant interpretation has created a framework which nearly all Jihadist groups around the world have adopted. This ideology has been exported to countries such as Lebanon, Iraq and most recently Syria, arguably as a way of exercising control and exploiting the originally nonreligious conflicts in the different countries. The Wahabi movement has spawned al-Qaeda, al-Nusra, the Nation of the Caliphate of Mesopotamia and the Levant as well as the notorious Noor Party in Egypt. But the Syrians are not going out without a shout. They refuse to bow down to the despots of Arabia, and will continue in the tradition of Islamic tolerance as was prevalent in the

ancient empires of the Umayyads and the Abassids. One telling story is of alMalkieh, a rebellious town in northern Syria. The government had cut off their electricity supply at a most inopportune time (not a coincidence). This was just before the maghrib prayer during Ramadan, the time Muslims are meant to break their fasts. Cutting off the electricity meant that the call to prayer and consequent confirmation of the fast's end could not be heard, as the mosque's speakers went out. But this is Syria, the land where rabbis, priests and sheikhs lived side by side for centuries, home of the world's oldest church and the world's finest mosques. The Christians of the town rushed to their church tower and rang their bell multiple times, though this was usually reserved for special occasions, to let their Muslim brothers and sisters know it was time for them to break their fast. Though only one small town, and one anecdote, this story teaches us something that we here in the West seem to have forgotten. Tolerance, love and respect for each other are on the decline. One main critique of religion in the West is that it preaches hatred and intolerance. In condemning religion to such a lowly fate, we ourselves engage in both hatred and intolerance, as well as ignorance. If the people of the world are to learn the lesson of al-Malkieh, not a million Wahabis nor an oil-drunk despot could move us to war. YUSUF TAYARA

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From tall and towering minaret, The call to prayer does ring. It glances off the coloured windows, Where the choirs sing Hand in hand walk two friends, In the Damascus streets, One says ‘Christ!’ the other ‘Mohammad!’ Where religions meet… The old and humble priest, And his neighbour the wise sheikh, Sit together side by side, In the angel’s wake Late at night when some mosques close, A mouslim need not fear! He just visits the kindly brother, In the church that’s near In the month of Ramadan, When comes the time to eat, I guarantee in every chapel, You’ll find a ready meal! In the cold December month, You find some warmth indeed, To find the children of both creeds, Decorate the Christmas trees ..Then I woke up from that distant dream, And cast a look outside, To find my country’s children, Fill their hearts with spite... Not spite out of religion Heavens above no! They fight because their politics Have rid them of all they know...

Yusuf Tayara

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Cell Mates The

complex human society we inhabit with its web of social connections and supposedly unique 'human' interactions may be argued to be a feature of the evolution of our advanced life form. However, our collection into communities that thrive through co-operation and the

concentration on a common goal may be a feature not only of the internet age but also of the earliest cells on earth. The apparent human inclination to support 'the greater good' of the community (as the clichĂŠ goes) increasingly appears an evolutionary advantage for those displaying this altruism. Yet although it is obvious that displaying this quality within an intelligent community (as we would expect to find more recently in our evolution) would have been beneficial to survival of the group, cells that tolerated living in multi-cellular colonies may similarly have had a reproductive advantage over isolated cells. This overtime is likely to have led to the development of the first truly multi-cellular organisms. What is the advantage of living in a cooperative society? The universal answer is the division of labour and

eventual specialisation. Cells living in the first multi-cellular 'balls' may have developed specialised tasks dependent on their physical position within the colony. Much as we in modern society adopt jobs relevant to our abilities in order to achieve the maximum productivity as a society. Those cells on the outside, with more

abundant access to nutrients, will likely have passed on energy amongst other essentials to inner cells thus creating a community inclined to collective welfare. This specialisation and cooperation perhaps the origin of the 'multi-organ' creatures we know today. When however resources were in short supply, it is hypothesised that inner cells consumed their outer sisters in order to survive. The evolutionary advantage of this being that at least a single member of the colony would survive to parent the next generation and pass on its genetic material. This ultimate selfsacrifice of the outer cells to ensure continued prosperity of the genetic line, 'the greater good'. Such extreme altruism is not quite necessary in our modern communities but it is worth acknowledging that what may appear such a complex, conscious quality is the result of Page | 19

Satire

Darwinian evolution and not some human superior quality given consciousness. Despite recent doubt for this 'group selection' concept in modern evolutionary biology, with many preferring the 'individual selection' or 'selfish gene' hypothesis as Professor Richard Dawkins puts it, there still may be room for the concept. Individual selfishness may pull through in the end with the possibility of some cells living within these colonies making selfish use of others apparent altruism, take the central cells for example, however the cooperation of these early altruists allowed its fellow cells to survive over isolated individuals thus selecting for a world of multi-cellularity.

people for Christmas are either books that I have already read and decided not to take to a charity shop so as to spare the orphans the boredom of reading or socks that seem to be on special offer during this time of year. These are the things that I have always bought you for Christmas and this has always suited me well until you began, not only telling me what to buy you, but looking insulted when I so rudely and carelessly don't buy it for you, despite the fact that I never gave any indication that I would buy you anything other than literature and hosiery, let alone those expensive and meaningful things that you so desperately want. Why should I buy you such valuable presents for a holiday that most children believe is a celebration of Santa Claus being killed by Frosty the Snowman to repent for humanity's sins?

Fraser Cheetham

The Cynic's Christmas Card – Dear Family and Friends, This year, as Mariah Carey once shrieked, "I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need." This is not entirely true as there are still a few things that I want, but they are really not that much to ask for and they really don't require very much on your part. The first of these things that I want for Christmas is please, family and friends; I implore you not to tell me exactly what it is that you want as your Christmas present because I won't buy it for you. I should urge you not to take it personally. The only things I ever get

Another thing that I would like for Christmas is for someone to explain why on Earth anyone would, in any correct state of mind, even consider cutting down a tree simply for the seemingly sole purpose of letting it fester and die in your front room? What's more, you buy your trees as early as November so you can fully milk its use (if there was ever any true use for an indoor tree) but this just means that it will be more likely to have withered into some form of vegetative carcass that the whole family can watch as if this were the true meaning of Christmas. To make matters worse, rather than acknowledge the absurdity and sheer stupidity of the inventively-named Christmas tree, you cover it in foil. Today, the primary use of foil is to prevent sandwiches from going dry. When did this kitchen utility suddenly Page | 20

become a decorative accessory? Foil is about as likely to beautify the tree as a forest fire. So, if you fail to grant me an explanation for this ludicrous display of minimalist afforestation, can you at least promise that when I come round to your house you won't take me into your front room in the hope that I will acknowledge the amount of money that you spent on and the amount of time that you spent decorating 'The Tree'? My last wish is a relatively straightforward one. Stop serving turkey on Christmas. I have nothing entirely against turkey per se. I don't mind the taste. I don't mind it, but that is as complimentary as I ever am about this ugly and deformed cousin of the chicken. I just don't understand why we have to all eat it on Christmas. It's not because Jesus ate it on the first Christmas. We all know now that he ate gold and myrrh and frankincense. A standard question on the matter will usually end like this:

ME: Why do we have to eat turkey on Christmas? FAMILY / FRIEND: Because it's tradition. ME: But why's it tradition? FAMILY/ FRIEND: Because we don't eat it any other time of the year. And this is true. We don't. This isn't because there is anything overtly wrong with turkey. It's just the simple fact that it isn't quite as nice and costs three times as much as chicken. So, we understandably buy chicken for 364 days of the year if we fancy eating a bird. So why on such a special and holy day do we eat the animal that we don't deem good enough for the rest of the year? Is this an act of Christian charity to spare the turkey some embarrassment that he must feel for not tasting quite as nice? Of course it isn't. Therefore, this Christmas, I don't want Turkey, I want chicken, or failing that a TESCO Value Chicken Burger. Yours Indifferently, Charlie Harris

An Open letter After recently watching a couple of American high-school movies -yes this was how my summer went- I realised that we at MGS are unlike anything portrayed by cinema. We act out literally zero of the stereotypes. I feel this is an injustice to newcomers to our school, they must know which oddly-stereotyped friends to make, which obviously-characteristicallyendorsed activities to subscribe to and most importantly, which overexaggerated clique to hang out with. My friends, here is my advice.

To all of you who do well at school. Stop fitting in and being so damn social. Start wearing checkered vests, larger-than-life glasses (Why not sellotape the middle while you’re at it?) and try out that speech impediment you know you’ve always wanted to have. Also, what are you doing playing sport? Even if you’ve finished your homework, carry it around under your arm wherever you go. Appearances,appearances, appearances. Failing that, speech impediments. Page | 21

To all of you who play sport. Stop reading, that’s for squares and nerds, right? As a side note, the school should definitely remove this whole thumb-scanner system. Taking lunch money has a nice ring to it. The same can’t be said of, ‘Hey, nerd. Place your finger on this scanner, I want your fingerprint.’ Followed by all manner of expletives. Can I suggest those collegestyle jackets, too? Appearances, appearances, appearances.

but you’re delusional. Yes, I’m aware that it’s hard to tell sometimes. No, I’ve struggled too. Yes, they’re just down the road. Come on people, let’s make MGS a terrible place of ill-mannered stereotypes, poorly-executed clichés and celebrate similarity. Let’s make MGS a predictable place. For everyone. Sapere Aude.

Alex Taylor

To all of you hopelessly chasing after the beautiful girls in school, I’m aware this is a lovely stereotype to pursue,

The State of Music ‘Justin Bieber hopes Anne Frank would have been a belieber’. It seems the reporter’s 2-Watt brain finally ran out of steam (and integrity) in deciding to choose something that would attract pre-pubescent female attention. What’s more infuriating is that a fan girl then gave an interview and openly admitted how she ‘hated’ Anne Frank because of the mention by Bieber. She has clearly taken to heart the many ethical and moral values espoused by her idol in such classics as “Baby” or “Twerk”... I wonder how much of his ‘music’ this fan has actually heard, how much she would like him if he didn’t have his good looks or this following of indoctrinated fan girls. To be honest she could probably recite every line he has ever had written for him. I would certainly concede that he has a lovely voice, from what little music of his I could not avoid like the plague. Yet being a good singer does not make you a good artist, as has been repeatedly displayed by the X-Factor.

I mean, how many successful artists has the X-Factor produced? The average person (regrettably) could probably list a few bands and some more singers. What I mean is, how many people from that show are going to be remembered once the hype is over? How many will leave a genuine mark on the history of music? None. That’s what the X-Factor is: a big hype about the next big thing so they can convince you to buy the same music with a different voice over. My mother watches the X-Factor, she also likes One Direction. When pressed further she replied “they’re a bunch of good looking lads and they sing well, they’ll be popular with the girls”. I don’t think anything could be more telling. The most successful people are not the most deserving or the ones with the best voice (Rebecca Ferguson) but the best looking lads who ‘sing well’. A society that covets wealth, status and sexual attraction will spawn popular trash like 1D. Comments like those of my mum epitomise the trend of thought Page | 22

currently amongst 'Directioners'. Most people do not appreciate music in its entirety and will be influenced by what’s on the charts and is played on the radio. In short, they don’t care about music. Perhaps what is most disturbing is the acceptance that music is no longer about creativity or talent as manifest in her apathy towards any judgement beyond looks.

MGS Society Reviews Tasked

with the almost insurmountable of quests to review each of the MGS Societies, I accepted, promised handsome cash rewards. While the funds are still being transferred, to the tune of $20,000 Nigerian dollars, I am assured that this review would be worthwhile writing in the meantime. So here goes, friends.

DocSoc I tried; I really did try to fit in with this society, but I must say I struggled. For one thing, I could have been warned about the dress code, strictly tightfitting swimwear. This must be an initiation test, I thought. But the third week and they were still going strong, this time attending with a James Bond theme. After sipping a cool Martini, I realised that DocSoc was confusing and misleading. I decided I was too inexperienced in the field of medicine to accurately judge DocSoc.

A starving man will think a Big Mac is the greatest thing in the world. It’s a sad truth that most people don’t care enough about music to realise that what they are buying and enjoying is utter tripe (for want of an uncensorable) word. Tony Liu

RodSoc, the school’s esteemed senior politics society at least fitted in with expectations. They told me the meeting was on Thursday, so I turned up. No-one there. They then said it was on Tuesday. Still no-one there. It seemed they were lying the entire time. I’m not even sure there IS a politics society, I think they lied about that one too. 1/5: They should watch out. Telling all those lies is only going to get them into Parliament one day.

2/5: I think next week’s theme is PulpFiction characters if anyone’s interested in medicine.

Senior Economics Society Ah yes, these guys were great. They were the ones who got me in touch with MR. UMBASSI, this lovely Nigerian fellow who wanted me to review these societies. Seems these guys are missing a trick though, I’m the one getting the money here. You would have thought studying Economics would give them some money-sense, surely. Still, I must mark them down for the subscription fee I was charged. £8.50 a term is a little steep.

RodSoc

3/5: Nice people, those economists. Page | 23

GeogSoc GeogSoc was a little deserted (ba dam dum tish). I got the strong impression that these guys should advertise a little more. Get the word out. 4/5: Perhaps some more emails should be sent out?

Are you man enough for the desert?

PhilSoc Now this was a highlight. Excellent speakers of very high prestige and a lovely turnout. The entire hall was packed with people eager to hear what the speaker had to say and the whole event went down a treat. Very well done PhilSoc.

The MGS Desert Trek is supposedly

4/5: If I was forced to criticise, I’d say that it would be nice if people understood a single thing the speaker said.

The first obstacle to any – even momentary – relief is the trek leader, Mr Cittanova himself. He is famous for his saying: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except polio’. The man is believed by many to be a French spy.

Berkeley Society The school’s longest running philosophical society, check. Respected throughout the school as being highly intellectual, check. A wealth of great speakers and esteemed guests, check. Turns out it was just a pool party with the entire Swedish volleyball Olympic team. They sound like quite nice guys that run it, in all honesty. 5/5: Intellectual. And that pretty much concluded my tour. I wish I could write more, but MR. UMBASSI has just had a crisis and needs a deposit sent to him. Crazy times we live in, eh? Sincerely A student definitely not affiliated in any way, shape or form with the Berkeley Society. ANONYMOUS

an entry level trek, and is open to anyone foolish enough to attempt such an intense rite of passage. It has become clear enough over the years that trekking is not for the faint of heart – heed this warning.

Even before this trek begins it is necessary to be inoculated against a myriad of diseases; fear not young owl, vulnerability to infection is simply a small part of the harsh conditions faced. There will still be many great dangers to exaggerate and impress your girlfriend(s) back home with. Your success (or impending failure) is ensured through Mr C’s strict practice regime: from walking across the picturesque sandy beaches of Formby beach in the oh-so refreshing rain, to camping at an MoD shooting range where you will be serenaded by the distant gun-shots (now that’d be a manly war-wound to show off back home!).

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Arts & Entertainment

The itinerary starts with a short ninehour flight, which is followed by a bus journey through the stomach churning mountains to Zagora, a paltry 3600km. This is followed by a gruelling 500km walk, which will take only a few moments really. In the real world though, there’s nothing quite as amusing as meeting local girls (imagine stumbling across Manchester High in the middle of a desert – appropriate thoughts only please).

Illness when it hits can affect the whole cohort, with staggering progress; luckily this was avoided in Easter. This idyllic trek was still, however, full of amusing incidents. Mr Massey was approached by an ethnically diverse group of youths who invited him to a shop. Upon meeting the shopkeeper Mr Massey enquired of the youths’ relation to him. He responded in a bemused fashion – they were all his children.

The well documented pastime of engaging with the locals has previously led to a boy almost being kidnapped by a band of local women. One of the girls had strongly desired to marry the poor gentleman who had innocently flirted with her, and he was left mentally scarred by the experience (the kidnapping not the proposed marriage).

Other cultural shocks include one of our number being dragged off by a security guard inside the airport as we attempted to depart. 10 minutes later he-who-shall-not-be-named (Ollie) strolled onto the plane slightly dazed and told us how he was forced to reveal the contents of his bags. They had thought that the group’s hydration tablets were drugs, giving young Ollie the intimidating task of explaining to the menacing guards what they really were, an even simpler task when you take the language barrier into account. Jovial times indeed.

A cornerstone of the trek is the ritual of relieving oneself. We suggest that a careful trekker marks his position and makes his mission clear to avoid potential embarrassment. The only equipment available is toilet paper, a lighter which never works because of the wind and hand sanitiser, which spontaneously stops dispensing the antiseptic foam – every little helps. Once you have done ‘the deed’ it is suggested that you dig a hole and mark your exertions with a rock. Un/fortunately the curious and uninitiated may dig this up in the hope of some hidden reward!

These perfectly innocent meanderings are all the persuasion a young-owl like yourself requires, if they have not convinced you to join your fellow owlmen in the desert – then all hope is lost. Fret not though: what happens in the desert, stays in the desert (unless I’m offered another cheque…) Hamaad Yousaf

Review of 絶対氏– Zettai Kareshi Izawa Riiko

is a young office lady working for Asamoto, a Tōkyō cake

design company. When asked by a mysterious scientist, Namikiri Gaku Page | 25

from the company Kronos Heaven, about the characteristics of her ideal boyfriend, she receives more than she expected in the form of Tenjō Night, a perfect humanoid robot programmed to be completely dedicated to loving her. Although at first dismissive of and embarrassed by his unsubtle attentions, she grows to reciprocate his affection. But the situation is complicated by her equal attraction to Asamoto Sōshi, son of the company’s boss, and Riiko must ultimately choose between the two men, a decision which is only made in the final episode. The Japanese drama Zettai Kareshi was broadcast by Fuji TV in 11 episodes in 2008 plus a 2-hour special, broadcast in 2009. Overall it is lighthearted rabukome (love comedy), combining elements of both humour and romance, but it does touch on a number of serious and thoughtprovoking themes. Foremost of these is whether love is a purely human concept. Can a robot ever be said to possess human emotions or affection towards a human being, or is Night, as originally marketed by Namikiri-san, ‘just another domestic appliance’? This J-drama sets out to show us that, as Night gradually grows his own sentience and personality, a machine can feel and express the same sentiments as a human being. For example, the boss of Kronos Heaven faces the difficult decision of whether to terminate Night’s program when he shows signs of developing an independent conscience in case he becomes ‘dangerous’ and uncontrollable. He is, to the viewer’s relief, persuaded that to terminate such a robot is equal to killing a

human being after witnessing a touching scene in which Riiko declares that she will always take care of Night, no matter what happens in the future. Another theme in the last episodes of Zettai Kareshi, also explored in Mioka (NTV, 2010), is that the celebration of someone’s life is more important than mourning over their death. Night’s central IC chip burns out in episode 11 after his system has been permanently weakened by a duel with an upgraded version of his own program, effectively meaning that he is dead. The scenes surrounding this event focus not on the grief of Riiko and other characters but on the memories they created together and the confidence he gave her to advance in her career as a pâtissière, which I think makes for a much more moving and meaningful ending. In one of the last scenes of the drama, we see the fundamental difference in opinion between Namikiri-san and his boss, Shirasagisan. ‘Before, you said that love is a sad thing. I don’t believe that. Love is the start of everything miraculous.’ To which Shirasagi-san replies: ‘You are the same as always.’ The hardest role for any of the actors was certainly that of Night, played by Hayami Mokomichi, who nevertheless managed to achieve a believable balance between the necessary stiffness of a robot and the charm and warmth needed to win both Riiko’s and the viewer’s sympathy, which I found perfect for the character. The other two main stars, Aibu Saki as Riiko and Mizushima Hiro as Sōshi, developed a credible chemistry and showed their capacities as actors, something they had not been able to Page | 26

do fully in their previous roles in Attention Please (Fuji TV, 2006) and Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (Fuji TV, 2007), respectively. Another notable performance was that of Fujiko-san, the unexpectedly wise barmaid, played by Maya Miki, in my opinion one of the most convincing and versatile J-drama actresses whose considerable talent was if anything underused. As typical of most J-dramas, there are no clear “villains”. Those who are at some point portrayed in an unsympathetic light, such as Mika, a fellow OL who has a crush on Night

and tries in vain to distract him from Riiko, either turn out to be misunderstood or recognize the errors of their ways. As nobody in real life is totally positive or totally negative, this gives the characters dynamism and realistic personalities which make them more accessible and enable the viewer to explore more satisfactorily their reactions to the events of the plot. Overall, Zettai Kareshi is definitely recommended as a great way of entering the genre as it has a simple yet compulsive storyline and easily likeable characters played by a cast of highly talented contemporary actors. Sam Heath

Woody Allen "I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss."

Woody

Allen is one of those figures who in popular culture has been so oft quoted and so oft copied, that watching his films today may seem to the uninitiated viewer something of an exercise in the cliché. Coming to his work recently and being part of a generation far removed from that which experienced his work during its zeitgeist, I find myself in a similar position. Yet, despite the fact some of his defining comic hallmarks have so widely permeated the landscape of popular entertainment; watching his films even today I cannot but help admire the man's innovative genius. In this article I will explore Woody Allen’s cultural and cinematic significance by discussing his life and work.

Woody Allen was born in December 1935 and raised in Brooklyn, New York. By 17 his income exceeded that of his parents when he made the first tentative steps towards a comic career by writing jokes for his local newspaper. After being expelled from two universities he continued his comic career by writing jokes for prolific TV comedians such as Ed Sullivan and Sid Caesar. Dissatisfied with this job he launched a career in stand up that spanned the mid-sixties. Importantly this period allowed him to cultivate his trademark neurotic persona for which he is perhaps best known. From here, Allen was able to make his foray into script writing and consequently full blown film making. In 1969 his first feature, "Take the Money and Run", was a commercial success that established him fully as a film maker. Allen's early works were light hearted and surreal, with them focused heavily Page | 27

on their comedic elements. Nonetheless amidst the silly and downright surreal – such as a sperm about to be ejaculated worrying it might end up on the ceiling during masturbation‐ there were also some of the more cerebral motifs for which he is frequently celebrated. For example, this period displays the emergence of his references to both psychoanalysis and philosophy. This exposition of psychoanalysis and philosophy unusually found its way into his films through direct reference. In many of his films, such as ‘Play It Again, Sam’, Allen would directly face the camera and tell the audience the exact details of his neurotic predicament. This approach borders on being vulgar in its coarseness. Yet, it is this complete violation of the showing not telling rule from which so much of Allen's charm and humour is derived. Through this frank directness we are made complicit in Allen's pathetic helplessness and in a way we identify with him. His characters are often grappling with deep fundamental questions but handle them in such an absurdly offhand way that one cannot help but laugh and like him. This humorous directness is now seen persistently in shows like the Simpsons or Family Guy. However, in addition to this unique and innovative comic approach, he created a neurotic persona that subverts and disregards the role and form of a conventional protagonist. Now we are accustomed to see heroes and anti-heroes beset by some form of personal conflict. Think of the protagonists in children's films such as "How to Train Your Dragon" and "Megamind". The respective

protagonists are not a collection of cliché masculine ideals, instead they are weak, puny, and nerdy - it is their internal conflict that drives the plot. Woody Allen's various personas have established and popularised a male lead who was not perfect and infallible, but rather the opposite. They are very deliberately imperfect and fallible but still acceptable and likeable to a mainstream audience. Today, if you were to watch some of Woody Allen's work you would start to notice just how many figures from mainstream films mimic the very archetype created by Allen. Although we could probably split hairs in identifying all the ways Woody Allen’s work has shaped contemporary cinema, speaking broadly I believe Allen deserves credit not only for creating and propagating a now classic comedic archetype, but for more generally setting a precedent in the compatibility of art and comedy. If Woody Allen's work interests you I would strongly recommend watching "Take the Money and Run" as an introduction, this was his first film and it is absolutely hilarious. In addition "Play It Again, Sam" is equally funny and pre-empts Allen's future more character driven work and for those interested in postmodernism there's a lot to go at there. ‘Annie Hall’ is one of his most famous works and often cited as one of the greatest comedies of all time, so my recommendation goes without saying. Finally Manhattan would be worth watching not only for the cinematography but also for Diane Keaton's brilliant performance coupled with Allen's fantastic script and characterisation. Mark Barclay Page | 28

(Emptiness) Ramandeep Mungur presents a compelling and disturbing piece of free writing. bystander you can feel an (emptiness) its as if the pathway has just created some sort of tunnel, perhaps in the split second that the guy felt the shot, you felt this sensation too, (girl or guy?) this could also have an impact on the breathing the left side of the neck could also be feeling this empty sensation almost as if you had an unknown left wind pipe that you can now feel or rather, that you can feel the absence of then of course come the eyes the left eye, it too experiences a sensation it becomes duller colder yet more sensitive as if it has been open for too long this eye it expresses emotion as it is an eye and after all it is through the eyes that we read...emotion? the nausea of the left eye reaches it's peak then begins to subside you blink several times just to make sure then you close your right eye to see if the left eye still works And then realise that your friend has just been shot and he needs... a split second and all of that happened but now, the slower response the hormone adrenaline kicks in and... rationality disappears "he who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" bat country, avenged sevenfold and then it comes out you chase after the man with the gun he is a fragile character he missed after all can't even shoot a man without regret or remorse why does he even have a weapon if he cannot kill with it Page | 29

he is clearly not of those who are naturally above morals a concept that is in dostoyevsky Zarathustra Nietzsche, Raskolnikov... but of course you don't think about this that was the man's last bullet you catch him "eyes full of empty, stare full of nails, mindful of fire, fistful of steel" fistful of steel, rage against the machine that man was bowing down you therefore knew what... (Emptiness) By Ramandeep Mungur

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Sport

Sir Alex Ferguson Last year, after securing Manchester United's 20th league title, Sir Alex Ferguson revealed his imminent departure from football management. Yet, it was not the sorrow of losing a sporting icon that dominated the media. It was universal praise for his managerial prowess and the memories he created through his many achievements. It is difficult to imagine Ferguson at another club, but his success began at Aberdeen where he led them to the Scottish title three times. The most notable was his victory in the 1979/80 season-breaking Rangers' and Celtics' 15 year stranglehold on the title. It was only natural that once he took over as Manchester United's manager, in November 1986, trophies would arrive-it was not a question of if but rather when. In the 26 years since then he has won 38 trophies including 13 premier league titles and 2 Champion's league trophies. Arguably Ferguson's greatest moment came in the 1998-99 season when he led Manchester United to a historic treble-winning the FA Cup, Premier league and the Champion's league in one season. Another contender is Ferguson overtaking Liverpool's seemingly untouchable record of 18 League titles. However, it is his dogged pursuit of a 20th league title that ranks as my greatest moment. He had been cruelly denied the season prior in the last few seconds when he lost on goal difference to Manchester City. This would have deflated a lesser man, but not Alex. Instead the adversity merely served as a platform for

Ferguson to display his relentless drive and ability to thrive in the face of ANY competition. He won with 5 games to spare. It is not just trophies that mark his success, but his longevity too. During his 26 years at Manchester United there were 18 Chelsea and 14 Manchester City managers. Only Arsene Wenger comes within touching distance having managed Arsenal for 16 years- although with less success. This has resulted in a legacy that will never be forgotten. The former North Stand has been renamed the Sir Alex Ferguson stand in his honour, and outside his statue greets the public as they enter the stadium to see his legacy in action. He is currently maintaining his legacy by remaining in an ambassadorial role to spread his wisdom and utilise the respect throughout the footballing industry for him. The future 'The Chosen One’ David Moyes is currently facing the almost impossible task of filling the largest shoes in football history. So far his tenure has been tentative with his inadequacies in the transfer market highlighted the gulf between himself and his predecessor. Yet, he has been left a title-winning squad by Ferguson and he simply needs to learn from the former manager's approach and bounce back from defeat and come back stronger every-time. For the first few years winning a trophy will be a bonus. Ferguson has taught us that even if you struggle at Page | 31

first it is necessary for the Club and fans to stay behind him. Long term stability and success go hand in hand. So even if he finishes fifth this season, his position will not be revaluated. Only after a few seasons will we truly see if Moyes 'is cut from the same cloth' or instead is the first in a long line of failed heirs to the throne. Either way, Ferguson will be watching and guiding them every step of the way.

Richard Mellor

Should more young English footballers ply their trade abroad? This article points towards the example set most recently by Belgium to highlight how success for could be for English youth could be found through different routes.

Greg

Dyke, the new chairman of the Football Association, may have had the recent success of both German clubs – such as Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund – and the German Nationalmannschaft in mind when he spoke of the necessity for an upheaval of English football right from the bottom, at the “grass-roots” level. Indeed, he correctly pointed out on England that “we simply haven't got enough coaches trained to a high enough level”, and the figures speak for themselves – England has 1,161 coaches at UEFA “A” Level, while Spain has 12,720 and Germany 5,550, with just 203 coaches trained to a pro licence level compared to 2,140 from Spain and 1,000 from Germany – and, alongside his call for the improvement of facilities nationwide, Dyke thus highlights an issue that clearly needs to be addressed for the good of English football. Recently, however, there has been a route other than that taking advantage of improved home-nation coaches and facilities to stardom for young players, and this can be seen most clearly in the country arguably most likely to rise to international success: Belgium. Belgium currently boasts 10 internationals in the Premier league alone, including Chelsea maverick Eden Hazard and new £27.5million Manchester United signing Marouane Fellaini. It has widely been assumed that Belgium – like Germany, Holland and Spain – had, at some point, undergone huge grass-roots change in order to consistently produce young players of the highest calibre – but, when one Belgian official describes the success of the country as “luck”, one starts to consider that there may be more to this strong success than just background check. crucial factor in the development of 32 many Belgian stars; becausePage this |official did not see a disproportionately high amount of development on Belgian youth playing fields, he may have

The “luck” spoken of by this official could be seen as a misinterpretation of a crucial factor in the development of many Belgian stars; because this official did not see a disproportionately high amount of development on Belgian youth playing fields, he may have wondered where the influx of technically brilliant, tactically aware young players came from. The answer is that many moved to different countries at very young age, with clubs in France and Holland able to take advantage of superb intercontinental scouting networks and the willingness of players to learn in countries with youth systems generally accepted as being top quality. Hazard, for example – who is widely seen as one of the most gifted young footballers in the world – joined Lille, of France, in 2005. Hazard's father commented that they accepted the move “in hope that the training facilities in France would be better”, and commented that “in Belgium, unfortunately, it's a little empty for the youth”. Hazard, nurtured in a wellrenowned Lille academy in a country with a history of producing top quality players for centuries, rose through the ranks in France, winning both the “Young Player of the Year” accolade, twice, and also “Player of the Year”, earning him a move to Chelsea FC. Similar stories can be seen in players coming through Dutch teams; mercurial wingers Nacer Chadli, Dries Mertens and talented young defender Toby Alderweireld recently earned respectable moves to Tottenham, Napoli and Atletico Madrid respectively, having been scouted at an early age by Eredivisie clubs, while Jan Vertonghen has formed a reputation as a stellar, ball-playing centre back having signed for

Tottenham from Ajax, and there are other examples of quality, international-level Belgians having risen through the ranks in both Holland and France. The success of this method is ongoing; Zakaria Bakkali, a 17 year old Belgian winger of Moroccan descent, is making waves in the first team of PSV Eindhoven having risen through the academy there. The reasons for doing this are plentiful. Granted, Belgium is often seen as being “split” into two halves; Wallonia, in the North of Belgium, where French is the predominantly spoken language, and Flanders, the Flemish (and typically Dutch) speaking South. This tends to mean that players scouted by French and Dutch clubs are already capable of speaking the language of their prospective new country, meaning easier adaptability and a smoother transition to a potentially higher level of play. A scouting system is already in place so that these players can be secured, much like English clubs have scouting worldwide in order to find the top youth players on every continent. However, it is hard to ignore the fact that players move for improved levels of coaching and facilities, and surely gain skills of adaptability and increased maturity as a result of such moves. Interestingly, it is very rare to find a complaint from a coach about the hunger and desire of a youth player trying to make it abroad (for example, a South American in England), but less rare to find a player in their homenation full of arrogance and lacking a work ethic; the example of Courtney Meppen-Walter, the recently arrested Manchester City youth player, and his behaviour and attitude - despite being a very promising footballer – sticks in Page | 33

the mind. So, there are plenty of reasons why a player might be well advised to accept an offer to move abroad and join a youth academy in a different country.dddddddddddddddd. Eric Dier, now 19 and of Sporting Lisbon, is a rare example of an English youth player who moved abroad at a very young age. When interviewed, he speaks with great enthusiasm about what a move abroad (in this case, to Portugal) has to offer for a young player; he speaks of the “great outcome” of the “English drive” and “Portuguese technique”, while his mature and calm playing style might indicate he was brought up in a system where players are comfortable receiving the ball and calmly moving it on – something for which English players have been criticised for not doing so well in recent years. His move abroad was not without sacrifices -his parents returned to England, and he lived at Sporting's academy, having to learn Portuguese as a second language – but this certainly sets a successful precedent for young talent moving abroad, especially at a time where they struggle to break into the first teams of their clubs in England ahead of exceptionally gifted, more experienced players. Owen Hargreaves, who was brought up at the youth academy at Bayern Munich, also speaks incredibly positively of his experience in Germany, and it is fair to say that experiences abroad help to form character, as well as exceptional footballing ability and an insight into different tactical philosophies. If they can do it, then surely so can more.

philosophy that their nations might encourage. Belgium have players such as Fellaini, Kompany, Witsel and Courtois who are home-grown and very able, while England boasts the likes of Wayne Rooney, Jack Wilshere and – more recently – Ross Barkley, all of whom are comfortable in possession and come with reputations as either world-class or as wunderkids. It is very unusual for a Brit to acknowledge that any product of their nation might be sub-standard, and – as Dyke points out – there is definitely a mentality that we should be the best at producing youth; we have, after all, - as Dier states - the best league, and so it seems unheard of for young English players to move abroad. While scouts for English club scour foreign countries looking for 17 year olds to fill the reserves and academies, the FA and the culture of English football is simply not accepting of the notion that scouts for clubs in other countries, who might want to tempt English players to ply their trade abroad, could be of benefit to all footballing systems; perhaps, though, in light of Dyke's speech, and the success seen by the Belgians and by young Eric Dier, it is time for both FA and for players to open their eyes and see the opportunities beyond the isles and the sea. Alex Parkin

Granted, in Belgium – and in the UK – there are home-grown players with exceptional talent, and a footballing Page | 34

Video Technology in Football, is it really worth the effort? As of the 2013/14 season beginning in August, it was announced by FIFA that video goal-line technology was going to be used in all major leagues and tournaments. This instantly rekindled the already hot topic of whether to include technology in the game we all love. For many fans this is a never-ending debate as it appears views will always remain mixed. However, have Sepp Blatter and his team at FIFA made the right choice? Throughout history, there are many standout incidents which fuel the question of the technology being introduced into the modern game. To name a few there was the dubious hand-ball goal which unfairly ensured Ireland would not be going to South Africa in 2010, the Pedro Mendes blatant goal for Spurs at Old Trafford and of course the one that all England fans forget, the one that (arguably) won them the World Cup against West Germany in 1966. The one that has been used most recently to fuel the argument for introducing video technology is ofcourse the goal that all England fans remember however, this time also against Germany. Germany had taken the game by storm leading a poor playing England 2-0, when suddenly, West Ham’s Matthew Upson rose at a corner and with a thumping header pulled England back into the game

with plenty of time remaining. Still from the euphoria of scoring, England continued to press, searching for that all important equaliser. The ball finds its way to the feet of Chelsea captain Frank Lampard and he pushes towards the 18 yard box. Seeking an opportunity, he sees Schalke’s goalkeeper Manuel Neuer off his line and takes his chance. He strikes the ball with such ease and the ball soars over Neuer’s head and thunders off his crossbar and down past the line before spinning back out again, then being caught by an embarrassed Neuer. The German keeper, who had clearly seen it was a goal, ran the ball to the edge of his box and distributed as though nothing had happened. Neither Jorge Larrionda or his assistant Mauricio Espinosa had noticed the ball clearly cross the line by at least a foot. The score should have been 2-2 and even after heavy protesting by the whole England camp, Larrionda was having none of it. All the FIFA president Sepp Blatter had to do was to turn his head in his VIP box in Bloemfontein and see on the instant replay that the ball was clearly over the line and this was surely going to be a major focal point after the game. England then went on to be battered 4-1 and sent home. The debate continued after the game with England boss Fabio Capello saying “it's incredible that there is no technology, we played with five referees and they cannot decide whether that is a goal or not. That one goal would have completely changed the game. I saw from the bench that the ball had crossed the line, I do not understand this.” The general public were also very critical of FIFA, especially the English who debated, if the goal had stood, Page | 35

would the game have taken a different course and would England have continued on and won? Some may call the incident ‘revenge’ after the same had happened in 1966 to the Germans but it had to be understood that there was no technology at the time then, nowadays there is and many call for it to be implemented. FIFA were strongly against the technology but since the calls, especially since South Africa, a fifth goal line referee was installed to combat this problem. But this still occurred and FIFA had to seriously reconsider the implementation of goal line technology. As we know, the decision was made that the 2013-2014 Premier League season will be the debut season that the hawk-eye system would be used, as well as at the Confederations cup in Brazil and will be used next summer there for the World cup. Some may say that this is a total waste of money and that installing hawk-eye would heavily have an impact on the human element of the game and would remove the enjoyment of debating such controversies which fuels so many media articles surrounding the game. To many fans, there isn’t anything better than after a game debating whether the referee had made the right decision or not and I can see why people think that the system is not needed. Along with the cost of the system being a huge factor,

Blatter has said that for 280 stadiums to be fitted will cost 71 million euros over five years. Who will be paying for this? This will seem unpopular as FIFA will try and likely take the money from the back pockets of us, the fans, by constantly forcing clubs to raise ticket prices and making the day out experience of going to watch our team even more expensive, which is another debate itself! But is this not fair on the lower league teams? Where will the line be drawn to who gets to have the system implemented as it is paid for by FIFA. Why do Manchester United or Manchester City get the privilege of having it available for them when teams such as Accrington Stanley don’t? Of course by using hawk-eye video referees will be able to see within seconds whether the ball had fully crossed the line and have a message sent straight to their watches, but then further debates will surely be brought up regarding whether the technology should be further developed and used to decide fouls. This is currently in place in rugby, tennis and cricket and decisions are relayed to the referee/umpire with ease who is able to call a decision extremely quickly. Perhaps the improved decisiveness will sway over the skeptics, but for now, the traditionalists are not happy. Daniel Delew

If you disagree with any of the contained articles’ views or wish to write a letter-to-the-editor please contact – Hameom-y07@mgs.org Page | 36