FAMILY

by Carisa Rowe

I suggest you begin this article by asking Google to define “family ” . Open the dictionary definition that auto-populates and you can read nearly a dozen definitions for this complicated concept. The easiest definition is that a family consists of people connected by genetic bonds but that is rarely enough of an explanation for what a family actually is. The definition lists other arrangements, including the informal definition of a “ group of people united in […] activity ” . The word provided in those brackets was “ criminal” and I guess, federally, that’ s what we are in the weed industry. That definition, like all definitions for family, falls far too short of describing this sort of a family. It might also help to have a clear definition for “family business ” . The Small Business Administration identifies a family business as “ any company wherein two or more family members operate the business and the majority control lies within the family ” . Family businesses employ nearly two-thirds of all American workers and generate more than 64% of the U.S. gross domestic product (GDP). Family-owned businesses maintain the economy and are responsible for the overall well-being of their employees. That certainly holds true in the Oklahoma cannabis industry where activists worked vigorously to ensure that local ownership would hold priority over out-of-state interests. Even in the case of brands like Cookies, Peak, or Starbudz –all brands that are recognizable in other legal markets, the company is still majority locally owned, thanks to SQ 788 activists. Having an accessible market to enter like Oklahoma ’ s gave many families the inspiration they needed to pool resources and launch a family weed business. When the weed market was born here, just three short years ago this past June, two types of families got into the biz: those with no prohibition experience or those with a legacy of “ marijuana ” . There are many variables that come into play, of course, but the most compelling differential (from my perspective) is the criminality factor of this industry and how it affects legal commerce and industry functionality. The success of a family business in the cannabis industry in Oklahoma seems dependent on whether the business has enough criminals to navigate the traditions of this industry. The downfall to criminalizing cannabis for more than eight decades is the secrecy required to maintain commerce. Secrets, by their very nature, create an environment of deceit. When you must operate the family business in secret, the family dynamic becomes one of distrust. There are a majority of research papers available to dissect functional and dysfunctional family business models. I found a paper by industrial/organizational psychologist, Dr. Gerald Pulvermacher, which details the keys to a functional family business. In that paper, “What Makes a Family Business Functional vs. Dysfunctional?” , Dr. Pulvermacher lists twelve observations he believes to be essential behaviors of functional family businesses. The top three considerations Dr. Pulvermacher lists include respect, an emotionally safe environment, and accountability. In my observations as a consultant, I agree wholeheartedly with these foundational elements. If a company, whether it is familyowned or not, does not promote an environment of respect, it cannot be successful. The amount of respect that a company creates for its team is directly proportional to the company ’ s continued success. When respect is the norm in a company, it creates a safe environment and within that structure, accountability comes easily. The most functional companies I have consulted in this industry have professional environments that are considerate of the staff, as employees, and as non-employees. These family-owned businesses have leadership that recognizes the value of hard work and who offer understanding when productivity or energy is low.

’ s paper, the vast majority focus on the consideration and healthy communication: offering and receiving apologies with grace, allowing expression of emotions, being kind in humor, allowing for growth, and courtesy at home first. Perhaps the next strongest factor in Pulvermacher ’ s list is that functional family businesses, like healthy families, understand the value of the setting, maintaining, and respecting clear boundaries. This is a pretty significant key to success from my perspective as a consultant and this is where my experience in behavioral health provides me the most insight into a company ’ s likelihood of success.

The interesting thing about this factor being near the bottom of Dr. Pulvermacher ’ s list is that a company can have all of those other factors running like a welloiled machine but all it takes is one violation of boundaries to throw the whole company ’ s timing off. In a family-owned business, there is double the opportunity to violate boundaries. The boundaries are sometimes enmeshed between familial ties and professional maneuvers and this is significantly convoluted in an industry that spent sixty years operating in the dark. Within the legal cannabis market in Oklahoma, there exists a dysfunctionality in respect, a lack of authenticity in accountability and apology, and repeat violations of boundaries across organizations and individuals. By all measures, despite the majority of our cannabis businesses being family-owned, the Oklahoma cannabis industry has a lot of introspection and growth to experience. The culture of the cannabis business is currently still operating with the broken communication and norms of an underground market. All too often, I encounter handshake deals and verbal promises from one beloved “family member ” to another that have gone terribly awry because of poor communication or violation of boundaries. By virtue of being “business ” deals, there is often a matter of money or reputation at stake. In an industry that is heavily dependent on the fluidity of funds as well as clout, there are incredible opportunities for dysfunction. Interestingly, Pulvermacher notes that “having each other ’ s backs ” in a family-business environment is achieved most successfully by avoiding choosing sides during times of disagreement. He suggests the healthiest approach is to direct plaintiffs to discuss grievances directly with the offender. When handled directly, with respect and consideration, violations of boundaries can be quickly resolved. However, in a newly legal market like Oklahoma ’ s, there are still a lot of unhealthy behaviors to correct. This is where we circle back to accountability. In order to achieve the beautifully functioning family industry that we all crave, we must first determine the norms of our industry. Norms are the informal and formal rules of a community. The informal rules include folkways and mores. Folkways are simple behavioral expectations that don ’t have a punishment for violating. Think smacking at dinner or holding the blunt too long. Mores are a little more strictly held and can result in punitive measures such as exclusion from the community. It is unsurprising, in an industry built by hundreds of families, that there is no agreedupon social structure and hence, no norms. Pulvermacher ’ s final suggestion is that family businesses follow the Golden Rule – that is: to treat others as you wish to be treated. I believe this is a great starting place to eliminating dysfunction and redesign the structure of the Oklahoma cannabis family. We should, as one cannabis cog within the national and global cannabis industry, demonstrate that Oklahoma values respect above all other factors. By loudly creating space for each other, we diversify the likelihood that this medicine that we all love continues to receive attention in the fight for decriminalization.

The more accessible we make one another to our consumers, the more knowledge we share and the more research we can demand. Spending our time clamoring for our stake in the game at the expense of our colleague ’ s reputations is a surefire way to ensure criticism from lawmakers and consumers. Maintaining a reputation of respectability requires that industry players hold respect for their colleagues in word and action, even when there may be miscommunication or a violation of boundaries at play. The singular function of that effort is that individuals must hold themselves accountable. Holding oneself accountable is a far more valuable skill than holding others accountable. Both of these foundations of success depend on strong personal boundaries and the individual’ s ability to maintain them. When people feel wronged or misunderstood, the most natural inclination is to demand that the situation be rectified, and all too often that demand is made abruptly or without consideration, leading to further miscommunication and escalation of dysfunctional behavior. When we create a professional environment that is mutually respectful we can avoid these escalations and focus on resolution and evolution. Successful family businesses make mistakes and turn them into growth opportunities. This culture of evolution is how many family businesses continue to grow their empires. The Small Business Administration suggests that strong company culture plays a major role in family-business success. The culture that Oklahoma ’ s cannabis industry needs to be focused on right now includes personal accountability, apology, and growth. In order to maintain the spirit of SQ 788, Oklahoma ’ s cannabis players are going to have to get real honest with themselves real fast and then turn right around and extend sincere apologies in the directions they ’ ve made mistakes.

It is important to note that after this, it is the other party ’ s responsibility to recognize the communication and choose to move forward with respect. Whether the relationship becomes a working relationship is less important than removing dysfunction from the overall industry dynamic. These broken relationships, within family businesses and between peer companies, are painting Oklahoma ’ s cannabis industry in a poor light. What a shame to be less than shining in a state whose national reputation is that we know how to band together to survive in any conditions. It can be hard to separate business from family or business from pleasure in an industry such as this but it is of utmost importance that when family, business, and fun are so overlapped, individuals honor one another ’ s boundaries and work hard to ensure that familial love and business don ’t become imbalanced. Some key considerations are that business not take place at family gatherings, that family members are treated the same as non-members when at work, and that family or personal issues be addressed away from the work environment. This is a key dysfunction that must be corrected in our industry, with the added consideration that these grievances rarely require public attention to resolve. Our industry is celebrity-adjacent and it seems that the Oklahoma scene read that to mean that every disagreement should take place publicly. The court of public opinion is the wrong place to be looking for restitution, my friends. The only thing you will find there is a grab bag of criticism or validation – neither of which will make any difference in correcting the imbalance. Arguably, if you are in the cannabis industry in Oklahoma, you can ’t spit without hitting someone else “in the industry ” . Our network is vast and complicated as is any web. When families and business opportunities begin to intersect one another, their lines can get tangled very easily without a clear plan of action and a vision for the future. These entanglements often happen loudly or publicly resulting in rumors and escalated dysfunction such as threats or lashing out up to and including violence. When Oklahoma ’ s business leaders take steps to correct these dysfunctions, we will see the industry become more functionally cohesive. This cohesion depends on our commitment to the foundations of success: respect, safety, accountability, consideration, communication, and adaptability. The dysfunctions are going to continue to erupt, even in a healthy environment. It is how we, as industry leaders and players conduct ourselves in dysfunction that determines longevity in this industry.