O&AN February 2011

FEB 2011

VOLUME 10 I ISSUE 2

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Former Belmont coach Lisa Howe speaks out HRC Nashville plans Equality Dinner Nashville Cupcake Factory bakes sweet treats

February 25-27 Contains sexual situations, brief nudity, strong language, and mature themes.

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Starting over again

A Nashville couple copes with loss after last spring’s devastating floods

by BLAKE BOLDT, MANAGING EDITOR bboldt@outandaboutnewspaper.com

On May 2, 2010, Tony Smith and T. Clark Miller, partners for 12 years, followed their usual Sunday morning routine. They woke up, went out for a quiet breakfast and watched as rain pelted the Nashville area.

Neither man would have predicted the almost instant impact of that heavy precipitation. By nightfall, their home had been ravaged due to torrential downpours, and most of their belongings were underwater. Nine months later, the couple continues to recover from what would become the greatest natural disaster in the region’s history.

The Middle Tennessee floods of May 1-2 affected the area for several days afterward, resulting in 29 deaths and widespread property damage.

The Cumberland River crested at nearly 52 feet in Nashville, unleashing the cascade upon a number of neighborhoods in Middle Tennessee. The couple’s three-level home, located in East Nashville near Opry Mills, was one of many residences drowned by the rising tides.

Smith, a chief flight nurse with Vanderbilt LifeFlight and May 2010 graduate of the university’s doctoral nursing program, recalls how quickly the wreckage occurred.

“We were sitting there at breakfast, and as it kept raining. I was sitting there thinking ‘This is bad,” Smith says. “So we went back home and grabbed the three dogs, and went to T. Clark’s office to wait it out. Then it just kept raining, so we decided to go back home and we moved some things---antiques, pictures, other valuables---to the third level. Looking back, I would’ve started earlier, but you just don’t know when something like this will happen.”

As with many area residents, the couple struggled to evacuate their neighborhood before escape became impossible.

“Thanks to our F-150, we were able to get out,” Smith says. “By that time, the water was all the way up to the door. I just told T. Clark to keep his foot on the pedal the whole time. Our street wasn’t bad, but the street to get out of neighborhood had a lot of water.”

Both men, homeless and heartbroken, had to witness this shocking tragedy play out on local television. Finally, four days after the flood, they were able to return to their neighborhood and view the remains.

Neither was prepared for its appearance. The back deck, estimated at 1100 square feet, had become

completely detached from the house. Two vehicles, including a convertible BMW that Miller bought for Smith as an early graduation present, were destroyed.

Many of the couple’s most treasured possessions were gone forever.

“I lost it,” Smith admits. “I totally broke down.

with most disasters, it’s really all about what happens in the six months or so after that. You see all this on television, but you don’t really know how bad it is and how people are still trying to get things work out.”

Forced to go through a difficult recovery process, the couple encountered further issues when dealing with

Tony Smith and T. Clark Miller, partners of twelve years, continue to recover after devastating floods ravaged the Middle Tennessee area last May. PHOTOS PROVIDED.

Everything I’d worked for, or everything I thought I’d work for, was gone. It was very tough. There have been a lot of times, even though T. Clark was always supportive, that I felt really alone.”

In fits and starts, they began taking tentative steps towards reclaiming their life. Smith stresses the small blessings that they encountered as the couple pieced their lives back together. A personal friend of the couple was also a contractor, and he immediately began assessing the damage. And Vanderbilt offered all employees two weeks’ pay with no penalty, allowing Smith to spend that time sorting through all the necessary documentation.

“Nashville responded very well, even if it wasn’t getting much attention,” he acknowledges. “But as

authorities offering assistance to victims.

“Dealing with government agencies is an adventure,” says Miller, a writer and producer of the nationally-syndicated radio program Crook & Chase Country Countdown. “The whole process is overwhelming. The worst thing is the fear of unknown.

You’re forging completely new territory. When you talk to these advisers, there’s a lot of misinformation. It’s a constant battle.”

He adds, “The easiest part of the whole process was the three or four days when we couldn’t get into the house. We felt secure that we were insured, and we were wrong. We didn’t know all the damage that had been done.”

STARTING OVER continued on page 19

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FEBRUARY 2011

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Come join us on Febrary 19th, 2011 for the 16th Annual HRC Nashville Dinner, SPONSORS:

an annual fund raising event to benefit the Human Rights Campaign, an exciting evening of laughter, music and inspiration for all. The Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. By inspiring and engaging all Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.

The Nashville Gala provides an opportunity for local supporters of GLBT equality to come together for a fun evening of dining and entertainment. The success of this event helps in the fight for equal rights for all people.

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Marching forward

Military ushers in new era with death of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’

by VICTOR STEPIEN, CONTRIBUTING WRITER

President Obama has finally repealed the ‘’don’t ask, don’t tell’’ (DADT) policy, a promise he’d made during his 2008 presidential campaign. While many have been discharged over the course of those three dithering years, equal rights advocates across the board have banded together to congratulate him. Signed into law by Democratic President Bill Clinton in 1993, it fell short of his campaign promises of ending discrimination against gays and lesbians in the military. It proved to be a lukewarm response to decades of harrassment, culminating in the tragic death of Allen R. Schlinder, Jr in 1992.

To put an end to this, the Log Cabin Republicans (LCR), a Republican-affiliated LGBT advocacy group, filed a lawsuit to repeal this policy in 2004. ‘’The repeal was long overdue as DADT was an ill conceived policy when it was enacted and its implementation over the years has damaged the lives of many patriotic Americans,” says Bob Kabel, the Chair of the District of Columbia Republican Committee (DCRC), former Board Chairman of the Log Cabin OrbitzAd_8.7x4.7917_untrimmed.pdf 1 8/3/10 Republicans, and member of the Vanderbilt Law School Alumni Board from 1997 to 1999.

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He adds, ‘’I was pleased to see President Obama finally step forward to work with Republicans in Congress to repeal DADT.’’ In Tennessee, the GOP is more reserved.

Senator Bob Corker opposed the repeal, blaming the unnecessary disruptions it would allegedly bring about to the military in war time. In a strange case of legislative barter, his counterpart, Senator Alexander Lamar, went as far as to threaten to vote against the new START treaty with Russia if DADT was repealed.

Disagreement is rampant as to whether this is a partisan issue or not.

Rep. John Ragan, who as a state representative did not cast a vote, suggest more challenges may lie ahead. A former commander who graduated from the United States Air Force Academy (USAF), he says the repeal would not remove the ban. He cites the Uniform Code of Military Justice (1950), signed into law under President Truman, with an article making certain sexual acts in the bedroom often associated with homosexuals - namely ‘’sodomy’’ - a reason to court-martial military personnel.

“This provision from the UCMJ is not enforced,” 2:54 PM says Christian Berle, Deputy Executive Officer of the Log Cabin Republicans. “If it were to be enforced, I

would imagine that a servicemember would simply challenge the constitutionality of this section in the UCMJ as Lawrence v. Texas overturned every enforcement of ‘bans’ on sodomy in all laws save the UCMJ.’’ He adds that this prohibition in the UCMJ applies to heterosexual military officers too, were they to engage in such acts. However, Rep. Ragan rejects the use of Lawrence v. Texas, as it did not happen in a military court, and he adds he has been directly involved in military trials involving the UCMJ. While the LCR suggest appealing to Mike Mullen, Rep. Ragan stresses it is Congress who has the last word in this case. More should be expected from this moot point.

For now, the repeal of DADT will only be implemented sixty days after the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mike Mullen certifies it. When it is, and provided it is not questioned by the UCMJ, it will normalize military personnel in the same way as US military allies such as Great Britain, Israel or even France allow gays and lesbians to serve and fight in the War on Terror, making it neither a liberal nor a conservative issue, but rather a non-issue.

Victor Stepien is a member of the Tennessee Equality Project.

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Rep. Campfield files ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill O&AN STAFF REPORTS

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Rep. Stacey Campfield has again filed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, SB 0049, which would ban teachers from broaching the topic of homosexuality to students in grades K-8.

According to Campfield’s proposal, public elementary or middle schools would be banned from providing any instruction or materials that discuss sexual orientation other than heterosexuality.

In the last three years, Campfield failed to get the bill out of subcommittee, with the members voting to send it to the state Board of Education for study.

Nondiscrimination bill to be discussed at Metro Council meeting

On January 18, Metro Council voted 22 to 13 on the Contract Accountability

Rep. Stacey Campfield has reintroduced legislation that would prohibit elementary and middle schools from discussing sexual orientation other than heterosexuality in their classrooms.

Non-Discrimination Ordinance, a bill that would require any company doing business with Metro to abide by the county’s non-discrimination policy.

In a rare move, the bill was pulled individually to force a first-reading vote.

Most council ordinances clear first reading unanimously without debate as a way to direct legislation into the council’s committee system.

The legislation will now go to the personnel committee before heading back to the council for two more votes.

Councilmen Jamie Hollin and Mike Jameson introduced the bill last December following the controversial departure of Belmont soccer coach Lisa Howe. Howe left Belmont after revealing that her same-sex partner was pregnant. Belmont University does not have an anti-discrimination policy to protect LGBT students, faculty and staff. In addition to Howe’s dismissal, a student group of LGBT students has been repeatedly denied recognition by the university.

The sponsors of the bill have agreed to defer the bill until February 15 to give time to the Mayor and Chamber to formulate a position. The Mayor’s office has yet to express an position on the bill, and the Chamber of Commerce is currently studying the issue.

A large faction of the Metro Nashville area has rallied around this proposed ordinance, with over 50 businesses pledging their support in the Tennessee Equality Project’s CANDO campaign to raise awareness. Major organizations in the GLBT community, including PFLAG Nashville and the Nashville GLBT Chamber of Commerce, are actively promoting the bill to their memberships. For more information on this issue and further updates of the bill’s progress, visit the Out & About Newspaper website.

On the Cover JANUARY COVER INFO: Dave Sykes, originally from Manchester, Tenn., is a student at Middle Tennessee State University.

A cocktail server at Tribe Nashville, Sykes also works part-time in modeling.

FEBRUARY COVER INFO: Spencer Montalvo (right) is a student at Vanderbilt University studying Political Science and Philosophy. Scott Franco (left) also attends Vanderbilt where he studies Human Organization and Development and Clarinet Musical Arts. Both are involved with Delta Lambda Phi (ΔΛΦ), a national social fraternity for gay, bisexual, and progressive men. The cupcakes featured on the front cover are courtesy of Nashville Cupcake Factory (see pg. 7)

FEBRUARY 2011

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Small bites for big appetites

Nashville Cupcake Factory caters to the hungry customer

by BLAKE BOLDT, MANAGING EDITOR bboldt@outandaboutnewspaper.com

Crazy for cupcakes? Scott Markley, a veteran baker and business maker, is your man.

For Markley, the mission of Nashville Cupcake Factory is to provide custom cupcakes at affordable prices. since its inception in 2009, he has catered corporate events, commitment ceremonies and church functions throughout the Metro area.

Markley works directly with each customer to create the perfect chunk of sugary bliss.

The inspired entrepreneur made every effort to avoid the pitfalls of starting a new business, taking a more measured approach that allowed him to experiment with his product.

“I didn’t put a lot of pressure on myself,” Markley said. “I did a lot of trials in terms of the ingredients and the packaging. I took a more catering approach to it.

I don’t have constant inventory. I make what I need, and everything is made from scratch.”

He added, “It’s not a cheap venture. It takes a lot of effort, but I truly believe in the product. (Cupcakes) are fun, and they’re easy to manage. They’re great at any party.”

Markley, whose family was involved in the catering industry, has applied a liberal dose of his own life experience into his fledgling company. A Massachusetts native, he honed his baking skills as a manager in a supermarket bakery. Since Markley moved to Nashville with his partner John Bledsoe in 2001, he shared this culinary gift with friends and colleagues, many of whom encouraged him to pursue his passion in a business setting.

Markley’s cupcakes are delicious and downright sinful for the waistline, but he’s built a small faction of lowfat choices for the health-conscious customer. He respects his audience’s tastes by customizing his savory creations for their needs.

Scott Markley, founder of Nashville Cupcake Factory, caters for corporate “My mission from the get-go was events, church functions and holiday parties. PHOTO PROVIDED

to keep the costs down and still make something great,” said Markley, who suggests the cupcakes have a three-day shelf life for maximum freshness. “I’ve learned that you can not please everybody, but the people who are ordering are in the party type of mood, so they like to have fun with it.”

To maintain a sense of spontaneity, Markley names a cupcake of the month that’s offered at a 10% discount. Recent flavors have included dulce de leche, hot chocolate and raspberry bavarian. Nashville Cupcake Factory’s most popular item---”My favorite, too,” Markley said---is the orange blossom, an orange cake with coconut buttercream topped with a candied orange.

Markley, who operates exclusively from his home in Donelson, has been scouting out locations in East Nashville to develop a production bakery. He also plans to employ a few assistants to manage the daily operations so his attention can go where it belongs---the cupcakes.

Affordability is the key in Markley’s recipe. Cupcakes range in price from $1.00-$3.48, allowing customers to indulge without damaging their budgets.

As a catering company, Nashville Cupcake Factory offers free delivery within Davidson County. For a small fee they deliver to a 15 mile radius outside the county.

Markley, who says this is his dream job, hopes that his desserts evoke sweet memories: “The whole idea is for people to bite into the cupcake and say ‘This is something that I would like to make in my home’.”

To view a full listing of cupcake options, visit www. nashvillecupcakefactory.com. Nashville Talking can help.

Cupcake Factory also has a Facebook page where you can preview pictures of cupcakes and get information through periodic updates.

FEBRUARY 2011

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Out of bounds

After departing Belmont University, former soccer coach Lisa Howe leans on family, faith

by ALLEN MCALISTER, SPIRITUAL WRITER amcalister@outandaboutnewspaper.com

As the women’s head soccer coach at Belmont University, Lisa Howe had witnessed her team experience success both on and off the field. During her six-year tenure, she and her team acquired a number of awards and accolades for their performance, as well as various honors for academic achievement. But in December 2010, Howe suddenly announced that she was resigning from her post after a mutual agreement with the university. Just days prior to her departure, Howe had acknowledged her homosexuality with the team and shared that she and her partner were expecting a baby.

Since then, Howe’s story has been featured in national gay publications such as The Advocate and Out Magazine, and she was recently profiled in a segment of ESPN’s Outside the Lines. As the debate over gay rights intensifies on both the local and national levels, Howe stands as a pillar of integrity and source of pride for Nashville and the GLBT community as a whole.

Throughout this controversial separation, Howe has been vocal about her unwavering faith. Her life is a prime example that being gay and being a Christian are not mutually exclusive. Howe discusses her career and

it’s time

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plans for the future with Out & About Newspaper.

gender equality, so I was in the right place at the right time to be hired in a full-time position.

O&A: Tell us about your family background.

I grew up in Dallas, Texas with my mom, dad, and younger sister. Dad was Baptist and Mom was Methodist. So we split Sundays between the two churches.

O&A: Where did you go to college?

I went to Barry University in Miami. Barry is a Catholic University but my family was pretty openminded. I graduated in 1991 with a degree in Sports Management.

O&A: What was the coming out process like for you?

Well, I came out as a 33-year-old adult. I was well into my career by that time. So one of the biggest fears I had was that coming out would hurt my career.

My family was okay with it. I’m not saying it wasn’t difficult for them. But there was never a point that I wasn’t welcome at home. My family has always been good about having open dialogue with me. I’m lucky in that regard.

O&A: What happened after college?

I stayed in Florida and coached high school soccer in the Fort Lauderdale area. I also got involved in coaching at summer camps sponsored by various universities like Duke and Clemson. That resulted in great connections allowing me to network so I could start coaching college soccer.

My first college job was coaching at Berry College in Rome, Ga. in 1994. One year later, I took a job at Jacksonville State in Alabama. The mid Nineties was when many schools started female soccer teams for

O&A: Did the team receive any special awards under your leadership?

My team was conference tournament champions in 2008 and 2009. For all six years I was coaching, we received the Team Academic Award, an academic award given by the Soccer Coaches Association of America for academic achievement in keeping a team GPA of 3.0 or higher.

O&A: When did you start working at Belmont?

In 2005 I was brought in to coach the women’s soccer team.

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FEBRUARY 2011

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Lisa Howe, former soccer coach at Belmont University, has relied on her family and her faith since her controversial exit from the private college last December. Photo by Allen McCalister.

O&A: Were there any special awards that you received?

In 2009, I was the Atlantic Sun Coach of the Year, and in 2010 I was publicly recognized by the NCAA because my team’s academic progress rate was always in the top 10% of the country. The academic progress rate looks at the team GPA, graduation rate, and overall retention of students.

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O&A: How did you meet your partner?

I met my partner Wendy Holleman in 1995 when I was coaching at Jacksonville State. She was a student, and at the time, we were just friends. She graduated and was hired as the assistant coach. Our friendship continued to grow and we became a couple in 2002.

In July 2010, we had a commitment ceremony at her parents’ lake house in Texas. Right before the ceremony my mom said, “You don’t have to do this for us. We accept your relationship and already consider you two as married...as a part of the family.” It was a beautiful time for our entire family.

Currently, Wendy coaches girl’s soccer at the University School of Nashville. We had been trying to get pregnant since May 2009. Finally, in August 2010, Wendy became pregnant.

So we’re having a good time church surfing and want to find a church home since Wendy and I are about to have a baby.

O&A: Do you have a church home here in Nashville?

We have been visiting several churches over the past few months. We’ve been to Covenant of the Cross, Holy Trinity Community Church, and East End United Methodist. The church we’ve been the most active in is St. Augustine’s Episcopal Chapel on the campus of Vanderbilt. They’ve been wonderful to us. Back in December 2010, they even threw us a baby shower.

They invited a variety of people from the community to come and there must have been over 100 guests.

We only knew 15 or 20 of them. But Chaplain Becca Stevens came to us and said, “You are probably going through a hard time right now and we would like to shower you with love. Will you allow us to do that?”

That meant so much to us.

O&A: What are your plans for the future?

I’m applying for jobs here, there and everywhere!

We would like to stay here in Nashville, but we’re open to other areas too. The University School of Nashville where Wendy is employed has been very supportive of us through this entire process.

P r es enT ed

O&A: When you departed from Belmont University, did your faith play a role in that situation?

The best thing to come from this is the fact that my relationship with Jesus has become so much stronger.

I have had to lean on the Lord to get through this time of not having a job and having a baby on the way. I’ve had to pray and realize that I’m not in control of this situation. I had been in control of so much of my life...I had my job, my partner, and had everything in place where it needed to be. But then there was the morning back in December of 2010 that I was on the cover of the Tennessean, and I realized, I wasn’t in control of anything.

O&A: What advice do you have for any LGBT faculty or students still at Belmont?

I want to encourage them to keep doing what they are doing. They’ve done a good job of mobilizing, of being unified and asking for certain policies to be in place. Belmont is a good place. And if they can get some of those policies implemented, it will help students have a richer college experience and make a better work environment for the faculty.

by

three modern, athletic and sensual performances that will

leave you wanting more Director’s Choice performances include The Story Teller, Satto and Postcards from the Boys (with live music from Guy Clark and Darrell Scott, performed by Shawn Camp).

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For Tickets: NashvilleBallet.com or Call 782-4040 Metropolitan Nashville Arts Commission

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Jon Upleger in Satto, Photo by Heather Thorne

Director’s Choice —Contemporary Adult Series • February 11-13

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FEBRUARY 2011

A perfect Tenn

New company Studio Tenn brightens Nashville theatre scene

by BLAKE BOLDT, MANAGING EDITOR bboldt@outandaboutnewspaper.com

A thrilling new addition to the Nashville theatre scene, Studio Tenn is a newly formed not-for-profit theatre company that produces classic and contemporary works of drama and musical theatre.

Studio Tenn is the creation of Matt Logan, artistic director, who has gained national renown for his stage and set design and illustration of Broadway stars, and Jake Speck, managing director and veteran of the Broadway hit musical, Jersey Boys. The company was first founded in the fall of 2009 by Logan, Emmy

Award-winning producer Philip Hall and Broadway and film actress Marguerite Lowell-Hall.

The company drew attention in October 2009 with its inaugural production of Our Town, and shortly thereafter Speck joined Studio Tenn as president and managing director. Having collaborated on many works over the years, the pair embraced the opportunity to build an entertainment for Music City. Speck says that their future seemed open to more possibilities than he could have imagined.

“Matt and I have known each other for fifteen years,” he says. “We’d both been in New York at the same time, and we started talking about starting a professional company. I had this dream one night about doing it and I called Matt, and that same day he’d had lunch with friend and that was the first time he’d expressed out loud that he wanted to start this company in Nashville.”

Speck assisted in the beginning stages of the venture from New York City before relocating to Nashville last summer. Studio Tenn launched its first full season in October with a lively

Chip Arnold portrayed the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge in Studio Tenn's production of 'A Christmas Carol' last December. Since fall 2009, Studio Tenn has emerged as a vibrant new addition to Nashville's theatre scene. PHOTO PROVIDED.

production of Hello, Dolly! This triumphant debut seemed to vindicate their decision to join forces.

“It was so much fun,” Speck says. “The experience was terrifying and exhilarating. We didn’t know what to expect to a certain extent, but it put a lot of wind in our sails. We started out with a bang.”

So far, Studio Tenn has presented their productions at a variety of Nashville venues, but Speck admits that a permanent location could be a cornerstone to their success.

“In a perfect world, we’d do a capital campaign,” he says. “We’d have to be a little more established, though.”

STUDIO TENN continued on page 16

FEBRUARY 2011

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‘ELLA’ arrives in Nashville

Tennessee Performing Arts Center hosts musical honoring ‘The First Lady of Song’

by BLAKE BOLDT, MANAGING EDITOR bboldt@outandaboutnewspaper.com

ELLA, a highly-acclaimed musical about legendary singer Ella Fitzgerald, is coming to Tennessee Performing Arts Center on Tuesday, March 1 - Sunday, March 6.

Dubbed “The First Lady of Song,” Ella Fitzgerald was the most popular female jazz singer in the United States for more than half a century. During her career, she won 13 Grammy awards and sold over 40 million albums. ELLA features more than a dozen of the singer’s most famous hits, including “A

Tina Fabrique plays Ella Fitzgerald, "The First Lady of Song," in the Tennessee Performing Arts Center production, ELLA. Performances are Tuesday, March 1-Sunday, March 6. PHOTO PROVIDED.

Tisket, A Tasket,” “How High the Moon,” “That Old Black Magic” and “They Can’t Take that Away from Me.” Tina Fabrique, a Broadway veteran and Tony Award-nominated performer for Bring In Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk, originated the role of Ella Fitzgerald in 2005, and she spoke with Out & About Newspaper about her commitment to this unique role.

How much knowledge of Ella’s career did you have before you accepted this role?

I grew up in Harlem and my mother took me to see her perform at the Apollo Theater as a young girl. I knew even then that she was the voice of a lifetime and I have listened to her my entire career. I also sang with the Duke Ellington Orchestra for several years under the leadership of Mercer Ellington and he had me doing her

music quite often. I must admit that except for a few comments from some musicians occasionally I never knew much about her private life.

What about Ella’s life really resonated with you?

Her deep love and dedication to the music, her lack of ego as this gifted and talented woman. Ella never behaved like a “diva”. She just wanted to please her

audiences. She worked hard doing that, even though she seemed to sing so seamlessly and effortlessly I know especially since I’ve been doing this show, what she did was much like walking on water musically.

You can hear it in her live recordings that she seemed transported when she performed.

ELLA continued on page 18

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Nashville Ballet announces Valentine’s Day weekend show Company presents Twyla Tharp’s ‘The Story Teller’, two other contemporary dance pieces O&AN STAFF REPORTS

Nashville Ballet will present the American premiere of Twyla Tharp’s The Story Teller, and two of Nashville’s favorite contemporary dance pieces as part of its Director’s Choice Winter Repertoire Program Feb. 11-13.

“Our entire 25th anniversary season celebrates audience favorites, including two of the ballets in this series,” Nashville Ballet CEO and Artistic Director Paul Vasterling said. “We are also Satto, Salvatore Aiello's sensual adaptation of an Asian legend, is one of three dance pieces that the Nashville Ballet will present during the Director's Choice Winter Repertoire Program on Feb. 11-13. introducing the PHOTO BY HEATHER THORNE

audience to a new work that is sure to be added to our future audience favorites list.”

The Story Teller debuted at The Australian Ballet in 1997, but has not been performed since then. This performance will mark the North American premiere of the ballet. Created by world-famous choreographer Tharp, the piece illustrates the personal story of one character through the movements of four dancers. The National Endowment for the Arts awarded a prestigious American Masterpieces grant to Nashville Ballet to produce this work.

Nashville Ballet will also perform Postcards from the Boys, which became an audience favorite after its Nashville debut in 2005. Award-winning choreographer Sarah Slipper created the jazzy, progressive piece specifically for the music written by Nashville singer-songwriters Guy Clark and Darrell Scott.

Satto, the third ballet in this triple-bill, features two Nashville Ballet company members in Salvatore Aiello’s sensual adaptation of an Asian legend about an encounter between a wind god and a leaf. Nashville Ballet performed Satto for an international audience during a South American tour in 2005.

Nashville Ballet tickets for all performances can be purchased in person at the TPAC box office in downtown Nashville, by phone at (615) 782-4040 or online at www.nashvilleballet.com. Groups of ten or more receive a discount. For information on group sales or to purchase group tickets, please call TPAC at (615) 782-4060.

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FEBRUARY 2011

outandaboutnewspaper.com

13

The art of self-love

A few tips for survival during the Valentine season

by MICHAEL KIMMEL, LCSW, CONTRIBUTOR

Photo: Ed Krieger

I get a lot of emails from LGBTers who tell me that it’s painful for them to walk down the main street of their town or go to any LGBT event and see lots of happy couples, arm-in-arm.

“It makes me feel so lonely and unwanted”, they tell me. When you’re single, and people around you “appear” (and I use that word deliberately) to be much happier than you, so in love, armin-arm with their gorgeous partner, it’s tough not to compare your lonesome solitary self and feel you’re lacking. Feeling alone and unloved is common to us all, coupled or not. If you live the Hallmark card life - you have a wonderful, perfect partner and the two of you regularly enjoy sunsets on the beach and great sex by the fireplace, followed by hours of hugging and kissing - then this column is not for you. For the rest of us, who live in a place called Reality, feeling alone and isolated is all-too-common. The remedy? Self-love.

Even if you’re in a relatively happy couple, you know that most of your married life isn’t like a Hallmark card. But after seeing all those media images of happy, perfect couples, you may think there’s something wrong with your relationship and wonder: “Why are my partner and I living a life with romantic moments few and far between, not to mention the

March 1-6, 2011 TPAC’s Polk Theater tpac.org/ella • 615-782-4040 TPAC Box Office Downtown Groups of 20 or more call 615-782-4060

ongoing boredom of paying bills, buying dog food and just getting through the day without killing each other? Where are all those sunsets and nights of passionate fireside sex? What’s wrong with us?” If you’re single, you may feel even worse, asking yourself: “Why am I alone? Am I a total loser, spending yet another Saturday night alone? What’s wrong with me?”

The common theme here is, “What’s wrong with me?” The good news is: there’s nothing wrong with you. The bad news is: It’s harder than hell to love yourself when your expectations are crazy-high. How did our expectations get so unrealistic? In some ways, it’s all about selling things. Businesses sell us things by creating idealized ideas of how life should be. The end result of buying these media images hook-line-and-sinker is that we feel we’re doing our relationships all wrong. We need an antidote to this “poison” of media-induced craziness.

We need self-love.

Want to improve your self-love? Start by being aware of the things you say to yourself about love, romance and relationships. Notice if you’re critical or harsh to yourself.

Many of us have such tough inner critics that when we make a mistake in the relationship department, this inner voice beats up on us, saying things like, “You are so stupid” or “You’re such a loser; who would want you?”. The next time you are disappointed in yourself, try a little cognitive therapy: replace your negative self-messages with neutral or positive ones, like, “I made a mistake. No big deal”. Or “Yeah, I screwed up, but I won’t make this mistake again.”

For you lucky folks in contented relationships, ponder this question: Should you love yourself more than your partner, your children and/or your friends? Should you put your love for yourself before your love for them? I believe that while love for others is extremely important, self-love must come first. Are you cringing right now? Does this feel too “New Age-y” for you?

To read the rest of the article, go to the Out &About Newspaper website.

Michael Kimmel is a psychotherapist in San Diego, Calif. His website Life Beyond Therapy assists individuals and couples in their continued growth and development.

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14

FEBRUARY 2011

Leading the pack

Vanderbilt emerges as industry stalwart in nationwide HIV Vaccine Trials

by BLAKE BOLDT, MANAGING EDITOR bboldt@outandaboutnewspaper.com

The Centers for Disease the support that the Nashville community Control (CDC) estimates that has had for it. A lot of people still don’t a person becomes infected know about it, but we’re getting out in with HIV every 9 1/2 front of people all the time to make them minutes. aware of this study.”

Such a powerful statistic Last spring the HVTP began a demonstrates the continued nationwide study, “Hope Takes Action,” prevalence of the disease. coupled with an aggressive media And it’s why the staff with campaign on the Vanderbilt University numerous HIV Vaccine Trials works social daily in discovering a networking cure. In April 2010, the sites in organization enrolled its an effort 1000th participant, an to target impressive milestone that potential places them among the participants. leading research sites in the The United States. study is Vic Sorrell, community educator and recruiter for the Vanderbilt HIV Vaccine Program, educates Metro Nashville currently The Vanderbilt about enrollment opportunities in the units research University School of projects. PHOTO PROVIDED seeking men Medicine officially started who have sex the HIV Vaccine Trials in 1987. In 1999 the unit joined with men to participate an international collaboration called the HIV Vaccine in a vaccine trial. All Trials Network (HVTN). The HVTN is funded through participants must be the National Institutes of Health (NIH). between 18 and 45 years The Vanderbilt HIV Vaccine Program is now one old and HIV-negative. of 21 research sites in 17 U.S. cities now screening The trial is designed potential participants for a nationwide HIV vaccine to measure antibody and clinical trial being conducted by the HIV Vaccine Trials T-cell responses in the Network. Nashville has emerged as one of the leading study participants as well contributors to HIV research, comparing favorably to as to determine whether major metropolitan areas such as New York, Chicago or not by taking a certain and San Francisco. vaccine combination, Vic Sorrell, community educator and recruiter for there will be a lower the vaccine trials, praises the willingness of Nashville’s amount of HIV in the residents to volunteer in such an important project. blood of people who “Nashville is a front-runner as far as enrolled become infected with HIV. participants,” he says. “We’ve been very encouraged by While Vanderbilt

VIP ACCESS

GOOD KARMA

is always in need of women and straight men for other research projects, their main priority at this time is filling slots in this study. Outreach to the GLBT community is a crucial element in this process.

“We’ve had several cases where we’ve supported local organizations like Nashville CARES and events like the Bianca Paige Memorial,” Sorrell says.

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VANDERBILT continued on page 18

14FEBRUARY 2011

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15

Double your pleasure, double your fun Music City Couples offers social events for Middle Tennessee twosomes

by BLAKE BOLDT, MANAGING EDITOR bboldt@outandaboutnewspaper.com

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one, at least if you’re bored and stuck at home on a Saturday night. One Nashville-based organization is in the business of making sure Middle Tennessee’s gay and lesbian couples don’t suffer the same fate.

Formed in 2000, Music City Couples was created to offer a social and supportive structure of committed couples. One of thirteen affiliates in the Couples-National Network, the organization now boasts 135 member couples whose differences--age, economic level and interest---make for an intriguing but altogether rewarding experience. Leader Larry Gold neatly sums up the organization’s friendly tone.

“It is our main purpose to provide gay and lesbian committed couples a place to socialize and meet other couples,” he says. “We want them to form friendships that are lasting. Friendships where they can socialize outside of couples as well as participate in our monthly events are encouraged.”

These monthly events have been immensely popular, and the variety of social endeavors allows members to stay energized even as their schedules and their budgets tighten.

“We make every effort to provide a social event each month,” Gold says. “Social events can be anything from a couple hosting a party in their home, dinner night out, bowling, swimming parties and potlucks in the park.”

Annual celebrations on major holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Independence Day and Halloween add a little extra spice to the season. Music City Couples also sponsors a Nashville Pride booth, and 2011 will mark the fourth consecutive year they’ve contributed to the festival.

A digital presence has become a prerequisite for social success, and Music City Couples relies on a custom website that updates members on monthly events.

Organizers do not disclose any information on our members, and personal contact information is used solely for the purpose of member communication. Membership is free to all our couples, and communication is available through a group email account.

“We operate solely on donations from our couples,” Gold says. “Donations are accepted through PayPal or by check. We will be providing another booth at Pride Fair this year, which marks our third year in a row.”

The organization also relies on volunteers to coordinate group activities finance, communications and membership. To raise funds, Music City Couples has developed a product line that Parrish L. Paul Ph.D., HSP hope. includes shirts, hats Licensed Psychologist and office supplies, healing. all of which feature relationship. Specialist in LGBTQ Concerns the organization’s Please see website for other areas of specialization logo.

To join Music City Couples, 615.887.6942 and enjoy weekly parrishlpaul.com email updates, 30 Music Square West, Suite 310 simply email info@ Nashville, TN 37203 musiccitycouples.org.

WILLIAM EGGLESTON P H O T O G R A P H S

Through May 1, 2011 Downtown Nashville

615-244-3340

fristcenter.org

William Eggleston: Anointing the Overlooked is organized by the Frist Center for the Visual Arts and was made possible by loans from the Memphis Brooks Museum of Art, the Eggleston Artistic Trust, Winston Eggleston, and Howard Read, Cheim and Read Gallery, New York, and the David Lusk Gallery, Memphis. Image: William Eggleston. Untitled (Huntsville, Alabama), 1970. Dye-transfer print, 20 x 16 in. Edition of 20. Memphis Brooks Museum of Art, Memphis, TN; Eugenia Buxton Whitnel Funds 76.6.9. © Eggleston Artistic Trust. Courtesy Cheim & Read, New York

FC257_Mrr_Eggleston_OutAndAbout.indd 1

1/24/11 1:09:36 PM

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FEBRUARY 2011

HRC Nashville Sets Equality Dinner for February 19, 2011 O&AN STAFF REPORTS

The Nashville Steering Committee of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) has announced that its 16th annual Equality Dinner will be held on Saturday, Feb. 19, 2011 at Nashville's Loews Vanderbilt Hotel. A full evening of entertainment will begin at 6 p.m.

The theme for this year’s dinner – sponsored by Bridgestone – is "The Art of Equality." The gala will celebrate the contributions and accomplishments of the Nashville arts community and will feature many diverse, local arts organizations in Nashville. Tickets are on sale now at the early bird rate of $130 per ticket until January 31.

HRC President Joe Solmonese will serve as one of the featured speakers, and entertainment will be announced at a later date. This year’s Equality Dinner will begin with a silent auction, with items ranging from luxury trips to artwork to restaurant gift certificates. The Jugg Sisters of NashTrash Tours, longtime advocates of GLBT equality, will once again emcee the live auction.

Three awards will be presented: the Legacy Award, in recognition of work within and outside the GLBT community; the Community Leadership Award in honor of community service, organizing and leadership; and the Equality Award for work raising funds and awareness of equality and diversity issues in the community.

The Human Rights Campaign is the largest national lesbian and gay political organization in the United States. The HRC envisions an America where gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people are ensured of their basic equal rights— and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work, and in the community. HRC has more than 500,000 members, both gay and non-gay; all committed to making this vision a reality.

February 25-27 Contains sexual situations, brief nudity, strong language, and mature themes.

tpac.org/springawakening • 615-782-4040

TPAC Box Office Downtown Groups of 20 or more call 615-782-4060 { student groups of 10 or more }

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STUDIO TENN continued from page 10 “We’ve been hopping around to whoever will have us, but we’d like to find a temporary home until then.”

There’s a method to all this madness, Speck promises, and the pair are constantly seeking out how they can fulfill their potential. Studio Tenn has now narrowed its focus slightly to offer famous productions that wouldn’t normally be seen in Nashville.

“We discovered our natural niche is would be in innovative interpretations of classics,” Speck says. “We felt there was this untapped theatre audience here. There is this major repertoire of great American plays that, when you ask people, most of them, maybe 90%, haven’t seen them.”

Speck expresses a willingness to fling the door open to the community and welcome their contributions. In May 2010, Studio Tenn collaborated with ShowHope and the Nashville Symphony to produce Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, a ShowHope production that raised funds for orphans in distress. This year’s performance is planned for April 15.

StudioTenn also unites with Belmont University and Lipscomb University to conduct theatre workshops, and a few select students have contributed their talents to past productions.

The most recent production was a modern twist on Charles Dickens’ classic novella, A Christmas Carol, starring Chip Arnold as Ebenezer Scrooge. This month The Glass Menagerie is scheduled for ten performances, and Speck says that a musical is in the works for July. He hopes to turn this forward momentum into more praise from the Nashville audience.

“We’re still very young, but we’re reaching out to the community as much as we can,” Speck says. “We want to be a major regional theatre presence and offer Nashville quality entertainment.”

FEBRUARY 2011

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17

Online dating: friend or foe?

Roundup of the most popular sites for romance, friendship and fun O&AN STAFF REPORTS

The U.S. online dating market is expected to increase spending to over $900 million in 2011. Here’s a quick peek at the most popular websites for finding that special someone...or a night of no-strings sex.

Compatible Partners: Matches men and women with compatible singles of the same sex, taking into consideration what it considers key dimensions of personality.

A comprehensive questionnaire is given before the user browses the website.

Compatible Partners was launched by eharmony Inc. on March 31, 2009, following a lawsuit against eHarmony for discrimination against same-sex couples.

Grindr: 1 million members. A networking application for the iPhone, iPad and iPod touch. Available for download from the Apple application store, Grindr comes in both free and subscription-based versions. The app makes use of the device geolocation, which allows users to access other gay and lesbian men within close proximity. Beware of stalkers.

MANHUNT: 4 million members, including 1 million in the United States.

Owned by Online Buddies, Inc., Manhunt facilitates same-sex introductions. Some profiles are of a non-sexual nature and explicitly state that they are not cruising for sex. The majority, though, are sexually explicit and include nude photographs and graphic language.

Match.com: 20 million members, with a 49:51 male/female ratio, and websites serving 25 countries in more than 8 different languages. Though no statistics are available regarding same-sex matches, separate tabs are available for searching M4M or W4W.

OKCupid: 3.5 million members. Free dating and social networking website which features member-created quizzes and supports various modes of communication: personal blogs, public forums, instant messages, emails, and “winks.”

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Plenty of Fish: 11 million members. popular primarily in Canada, the UK, Australia and the United States. The service, based in 615/ 712.3897 Canada, is free to timdaltoncomic@charter.net use and allows you timdaltoncomic.com to set up your own For your next event! free dating profileand then find matches based on a set of compatibility questions you answer. You can also choose to simply browse based on zip code, religious preference, ethnic background and several other preferences.

COMEDIAN

Craigslist Personals: 50 million viewers monthly. The Craiglist Personals pages appear as a section under each regional or city site of Craigslist. Caigslist Personals is subdivided into several sections, ranging from the “Strictly Platonic” to “Casual Encounters.”

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FEBRUARY 2011

ELLA continued from page 10 Her humble beginnings that she overcame and grew from. She was courageous.

The preview teases that some of Ella’s secrets will be revealed. Were you surprised about any parts of Ella’s past?

Yes, I was surprised that she was on her own at such a young age and dancing for money on the streets of Harlem. In fact she was going to be a dancer and not a singer at her debut performance on the Apollo Amateur Show.

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How do you prepare for such an important performance? And what are your previous impressions, if any, of Nashville and its audiences?

I live in preparation while doing this show. I was very lucky to have several friends who knew Ella and had lots of footage of her not only singing but being interviewed and talking freely about herself. I studied all that material in the beginning and I still study her now. The way I approached this role was as an actor.

I figured to play Ella being able to sing is a given. I took in her mannerisms, her girlish behavior, her playfullness as she performed. I wanted to absorb the spirit of this woman and tell her story.

Singing is a very physical act. You must be able to really breathe to sing those long phrases Ella delivered with ease. I work out, I vocalize to stay vocally accurate and strong. I rest also because a voice singing 24 songs and doing many monologues needs rest. I simply live to do this show. It’s a very selfish act because if I do it right I get to have a lot of fun on stage!

I played here in Nashville doing How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying and the audiences loved the show. Ralph Maccio played Finch and I was Ms. Jones, the bosses’ secretary. I know that Nashville is a music lover’s town, and everyone who loves music loves Ella. I can’t wait to share this fantastic woman’s story with the audiences here and to make all those people happy.

You originated this role and have been involved in this production for a few years now. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve drawn from this experience?

The lesson that truly wonderful music and a revealing story bring all of us great joy. No matter where we come from or how old we are or how much we have or don’t have we are always touched. We are all captivated by human experience told in an honest and open way. People have responded to Ella this way and we are all very gratified to witness it time and time again. I have to thank Rob Ruggiero for his vison, and great directing and an unbelievable artist team, not to mention a fabulous cast of musicians who are actors as well.

Ticket prices range from $35 to $60 and are available at the TPAC box office.

Order online by visiting tpac.org or by calling 615-782-4040. Group orders of 20 or more may be placed by calling 615-782-4060.

VANDERBILT continued from page 14 “They’ve been really good experiences that have helped serve the community.”

Sorrell notes that gay men are a traditionally higher-risk group, so education is part of the package, too. During each appointment, staff members strike up a dialogue with participants can be varied depending on the objectives of that visit.

Participants are compensated for their time, and they must visit Vanderbilt once a month for 12-15 months. All appointments last less than an hour, suiting the needs of potential enrollees who may have scheduling conflicts. The challenge, then, is educating the public about this meaningful opportunity and its benefits for the medical community.

“It’s a matter of consistently sending our image out,” he says. “We work on overcoming preconceived notions and making information available to people. We find that the opportunity speaks for itself, and people are willing to do it once they know about us. Our challenge is to get in front of people.”

FEBRUARY 2011

outandaboutnewspaper.com

STARTING OVER continued from page 3 Miller works part-time as a real estate agent, but his expertise in such matters meant little in this situation. Though the couple had shared their lives together for over a decade, their inability to be married legally created problems as they communicated with outside sources. The house, furnished with their money and filled with their memories, was solely in Smith’s name.

“Since we weren’t an acknowledged couple, we had to approach things differently,” Miller admits. “I could’ve helped a little more with the financial stuff if I had the chance, but everything was in Tony’s name. My frustration was with the fact that I was a real estate agent and I’d worked on multiple insurance claims, but Tony had to do a lot of it on his own. He couldn’t just give things to me to handle.”

In a small bit of fortune, an SBA (Small Business Association) loan allowed them an amount of money to secure living arrangements. However, like most Tennesseans, technicalities in their insurance did not allow reimbursement for the contents of the home. Only the actual structure of their property was covered on their policy.

“That was a slap in the face,” Smith says. “My biggest lesson that I would tell people is ‘Know your insurance.’ You have to know what’s covered and what’s not.

We thought everything in the house would be taken care of, but that wasn’t the case.

So be looking for very specific things in your insurance.”

Maintaining a stable romantic relationship, regardless of circumstance, is a challenge. The couple, who now reside in a downtown condo, have stay committed to each other despite all the pains and pressures involved.

“The flood brought on a lot of stresses,” Smith says. “It was tough. You get tired of living in a condo and not having a home of your own. It’s brought a bunch of issues up, but it’s also brought us closer together.”

Miller agrees, “We did have emotional moments, but at different times. When one person was having a hard time, the other would be more positive. I feel like it’s

19 made us more codependent.”

On January 10, they received a brief reward for the deluge of paperwork they’ve completed in the last nine months. As part of the federal flood buyout program endorsed by President Obama, the couple can relocate using funds appropriated to them by the authorities.

Their property, now owned by the local government, will remain vacant. Though it may take another two years to receive their stipend, Miller insists that their situation could have been so much worse.

“One of our big concerns has always been for our neighbors and other people,” he says. “We are grateful that we have options and the financial means necessary to rebuild our lives. There are others that don’t. There’s this perception now that people in Tennessee have gotten back settled, and that’s not always the case.”

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continues into the hollow, passing a willow-draped pond, and then opens at the lodge itself. It is a three-story stone and log house, with a colorful mixture of eclectic and antique furnishings. Steep ridges rise on three sides, so close you can almost touch them. You feel safe in this gay world apart, and the mood is both reflected and reinforced by the attentive staff. You will be greeted by owners/innkeepers Bill and Steve. Hospitality is home here.

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outandaboutnewspaper.com

20

FEBRUARY 2011

Last meal you'd eat before you die: Steak, twice baked potatoes and tacos

Birthday One item (other than your cell phone) that

AUGUST 22 Current Town

NASHVILLE

PARIS, Tennessee

you're never without: I have to have my planner or I would be lost without it.

I feel most confident when: I am home alone listening to music with my dog

Profession Your pick for celebrity best friend:

ENTREPRENEUR

Madonna.

Favorite way to burn calories:

Zodiac ID Tennis, running and gymnastics

LEO

Hometown

PARIS, Tennessee

MICHAEL TROLINGER PHOTO BY ETHAN JAMES

Boxers or briefs: Briefs.

If you won $1 million (tax free) and had to give half of it away, who'd get it: The family business, to expand, create more jobs, and provide better service to communities.

More from MICHAEL City kind of guy born in a small town to a close-knit family. I am always smiling, energetic, and doing something. People always remember me. I love traveling and being exposed to new things. The world is such an interesting place, and I can only hope that I can make a change for the better.

FEBRUARY 2011

outandaboutnewspaper.com

Belcourt Theatre hosts ‘Oscar Night’

Formal event is largest annual fundraiser for non-profit theatre

21

Don’t waste your valuable time

O&AN STAFF REPORTS

Residents of Middle Tennessee can experience the 83rd Academy Awards at Nashville’s own officially sanctioned Oscar Night party benefiting the historic Belcourt Theatre. The event coincides with the live telecast Sunday, Feb. 27. (ABCTV, 7 p.m.)

Attendees will enjoy food and drink including an open bar until 9 p.m. They can also bid in the silent auction and watch the Academy Awards telecast on the Belcourt’s two huge movie screens.

This marks the 12th year that the Belcourt’s party has been officially sanctioned by the Motion Picture Academy of Art and Sciences. As the largest annual fundraiser for the non-profit theatre, Oscar Night attracts guests from the Middle Tennessee region to enjoy a taste of Hollywood in Nashville. Formal wear is strongly encouraged.

Tickets range in price from $75 to $250 per person. The Patrons Party at 5:30 p.m. is open to Red Carpet VIP and higher ticket levels. Visit www.belcourt.org for tickets and more information.

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FEBRUARY 2011

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