11 nominations 10 Oscars 2 Tony Awards. One legendary musical
KEY DATES AUDITIONS. Tuesday 22nd September 2026 4.10pm - 6.30pm (Ensemble and Year 7 & 8) Wednesday 23rd September 2026 4.10pm - 6.30pm (Principal)
CALLBACKS. Thursday 24th September 2026 4.10pm - 6.30pm (By invitation.)
ANNOUNCEMENT.
Friday 25th September 2026 11.00am in person (Principal) Friday 25th September 2026 by email 4.00pm (Ensemble)
TABLEREAD.
Sunday 2.00pm - 4.30pm The principal cast will come together to read through the script.
PARENT WELCOME MEETING. Monday 28th 6.00pm - 7.00pm (OAKS Hall) The full cast and at least one parent to attend this meeting where information regadring the procdution will be shared inclduing any new updates.
REHEARSALS. Monday, Wednesday & Thursday 4.10pm - 6.10pm Sunday 10.00am - 4.00pm October & December Break rehearsals TBC Monthly rehersal schedules are emailed in advance.
PERFORMANCES.
Students will be off timetable for the whole of show week. The dates for this week are from Monday 18th to Saturday 23rd January. Performances take place on the Thursday, Friday and Saturday, including a Saturday matinee.
THE CREATIVE TEAM Miss Martha Worthington (Director & Producer) Leads the creative vision of the performance while organising rehearsals and ensuring all elements of the production come together successfully. Contact: musical@akslytham.com Mrs Emily Mitchell (Co-Director & Head of Wardrobe) Supports the director in shaping the performance and leading rehearsals while overseeing costume design and organisation to ensure characters are presented effectively on stage. Contact: musical@akslytham.com Mr Adam Brown (Musical Director) Oversees all musical elements of the production, working closely with the musicians and performers to rehearse, coordinate and deliver music that enhances the storytelling and overall audience experience. Contact: musical@akslytham.com Mr Chris Hodder (Co - Musical Director) Supports the Music Director in rehearsing performers and musicians, helping to coordinate musical elements and ensuring the music effectively supports the storytelling and atmosphere of the production. Contact: musical@akslytham.com Mr Helen Vidotti (Choreographer) Supports the Director in developing and rehearsing the movement and choreography of the production,working with performers to create dynamic, character-driven movement and ensuring the choreography effectively supports the storytelling,energy and atmosphere of the production. Contact: musical@akslytham.com
THE PLOT Set in the streets of 1950s New York, WEST SIDE STORY follows two rival teenage gangs: the Jets and the Sharks. Their ongoing conflict divides the neighbourhood, with both groups fiercely protecting their territory, identity and pride. Former Jet Tony has left the gang behind and dreams of a different future. At a dance, he meets Maria, the younger sister of Sharks leader Bernardo. Despite the rivalry surrounding them, Tony and Maria fall in love. Their relationship brings hope, but also intensifies the conflict between the two groups. As tensions rise, Bernardo's girlfriend Anita becomes caught between her loyalty to the Sharks and her feelings for Maria and Tony. The rivalry eventually reaches a devastating point, forcing Tony, Maria and those around them to confront the consequences of hatred, prejudice and violence. At it’s heart, WEST SIDE STORY is a story about love, belonging and the possibility of choosing a different future, even when the world around you seems determined to keep people apart.
CHARACTERS: THE ADULTS Please note the gender of these roles may be adapted
DOC
OFFICER SCHRANK
OFFICER KRUPKIE
Owner of the local drugstore and an adult presence within the world of the Jets. He attempts to understand and protect the young people around him.
A police officer representing the authority surrounding the gangs and the prejudice present within the wider community.
A police officer whose scenes provide comedy while highlighting the way adults misunderstand and stereotype the young people.
GLAD HAND The wellmeaning adult attempting to maintain order at the social dance.
CHARACTERS: THE JETS
SNOWBOY
TONY
RIFF
ANYBODYS
Former Jet who has stepped away from gang life and dreams of a different future. Meeting Maria gives him hope, but their relationship draws him back into the conflict.
Leader of the Jets and Tony's closest friend. Charismatic, rebellious and fiercely loyal, Riff wants Tony back with the gang and is determined to confront the Sharks.
Desperate to be accepted by the Jets, Anybodys constantly tries to prove that she belongs.
DIESE L
A-RAB
BIG DEAL
The wellmeaning adult attempting to maintain order at the social dance.
ACTION
Key members of the gang, each brings their own personality to the Jets. Action is aggressive, energetic and quick to react; A-Rab brings humour and youthful energy; Snowboy contributes to the group's physicality and banter; Diesel is confident and physically commanding; while Big Deal adds humour, movement and social energy. Together, they form a tight-knit group whose friendship, rivalry and shared identity are at the heart of the Jets. Please note these roles will remain male but can be performed by any gender.
CHARACTERS: THE SHARKS BERNARDO
ANITA
MARIA
Leader of the Sharks and Maria's older brother. Proud, protective and fiercely loyal, Bernardo is determined to defend his community against the Jets.
Bernardo's girlfriend and Maria's closest friend. Fierce, confident and outspoken, Anita is deeply connected to her community and protective of Maria.
Bernardo's younger sister, Maria is hopeful, romantic and excited about her future. Her relationship with Tony challenges the divisions.
CHINO
INDI
PEPE
Chino, Pepe and Indi each contribute to the Sharks in different ways. Chino is quieter and thoughtful, initially seen as Maria’s potential future husband, while Pepe and Indi bring confidence, physical presence and youthful energy to Bernardo’s close-knit group. Together, they strengthen the Sharks’ sense of unity and loyalty. Please note these roles will remain male but can be performed by any gender.
BEFORE THE AUDITIONS AUDITION SIGN-UP SIGN UP All students wishing to take part must register in advance by Thursday 17th September 2026. To register, please scan the QR code and complete the form precisely and in full. We will ask you to provide the following information: Roles you are interested in auditioning for Costume sizes, including shirt, trousers/skirt/dress and shoe size September and October rehearsal availability Providing this information will guarantee you an audition slot. However, registration does not guarantee a place in the cast. Casting will be based on the requirements of the production and the outcome of the audition process
AUDITION PREP Following the announcement on Friday 4th September 2026, students will have two weeks to prepare for their audition. Use this time wisely and make the most of the resources provided. Students should: Research the plot and characters Research accents, culture and world of the production Familiarise yourself with the music and style of the show Learn the relevant audition lyrics Familiarise yourself with your chosen monologue Prepare your chosen character and consider their emotions, relationships, intentions and physicality
AUDITION MATERIALS
MONOLOGUE SELF-TAPES Any students from Year 7 - 13 wishing to be considered for a principal role should prepare a short monologue for their chosen character. All character monologues can be found in the Audition Materials Folder, which can be accessed by scanning the QR code. While you do not need to memorise the monologue word-for-word, performing off-script can significantly enhance your performance and allow you to engage more fully with the character. Your performance should be convincing, engaging and character-driven. You should demonstrate a clear understanding of: Who your character is What your character wants How your character feels Why your character behaves the way they do Monologue videos must be emailed to musical@akslytham.com by 9:00am on Monday 21st September 2026. Please read the self-tape requirements below carefully before recording your audition. Please ensure that: Your recording is filmed in landscape format You are wearing Drama Blacks, preferably AKS branded You are filmed against a plain, neutral background Your face and upper body are clearly visible throughout Your performance is clear and audible You remain in character throughout the performance Your recording is steady and well-framed, with no distracting background noise or interruptions
AUDITION SUPPORT SESSIONS If you’re feeling unsure about your audition or would like a little extra support, we’re offering an informal drop-in session led by our Year 13 Drama and Music Scholars. Students from any year group are welcome to drop in for acting and singing tips, advice and guidance from students who have been through the audition process themselves and know what it’s like to be in your position. Whether you want to run through your song, ask for advice on your character, practise performing in front of someone or simply build a little confidence, this is a chance to get some friendly support from students who have been there before. This session will take place on Wednesday 9th & 16th September 1.30pm - 2.00pm in the Drama Studio.
DURING THE AUDITIONS WHAT TO WEAR Throughout the audition process, all students must wear Drama Blacks and practical footwear suitable for movement. Suitable clothing includes: Plain black T-shirt Plain black leggings, joggers or tracksuit bottoms Black trainers with black socks, OR White trainers with white socks It is preferred that students wear the AKS branded Drama Blacks, which are available to purchase from the school shop. Please ensure that your clothing is comfortable, practical and suitable for acting, singing and dancing.
AUDITION DETAILS All auditions will take place in the AKS Drama Studio and will be organised by year group and audition category. Each audition session will begin promptly at 4.10pm. Students should arrive in their Drama Blacks, ready to perform. Please ensure you have everything you need with you so that you can take part fully in the acting, singing and dance elements of the audition. Throughout the process, students should be prepared to perform, take direction and work collaboratively with other members of the company. Students will audition in front of a panel made up of Performing Arts staff. Please note that the audition process will also be filmed for assessment and casting purposes as well as social media. Students should also be prepared to workshop multiple characters from the production. Throughout the audition process, we will consider students for a variety of roles, so flexibility, versatility and a willingness to explore different characters will be important.
ENSEMBLE
TUESDAY 22nd SEPTEMBER | 4.10PM–6.30PM Students in Years 7–8 who want to be involved in the musical must attend this audition. Additionally any students in Years 9–13 who wish to be considered for an ensemble role should also attend this audition. Please note if we feel any student present at this session is suitable we will for a specific character we will invite them to a call-back. This audition will include a range of acting, singing and dance activities, including the pre-prepared ensemble song, which students should know off by heart and be prepared to perform offscript. Students will not be asked to perform individually; instead, we will observe your performance skills and ability to work as part of a group. Your performance during this session will help us determine whether the production is the right fit for you and, if so, where you may be best placed within the company.
PRINCIPAL WEDNESDAY 23rd SEPTEMBER | 4.10PM–6.30PM Students from Years 9–13 interested in a principal role will take part in a solo audition. The session will include acting, singing and dance activities, including the pre-prepared principal songs. Students should know the lyrics to their chosen song off by heart and be prepared to perform off-script. Students will perform individually in front of their peers and the audition panel. Please be aware that your attitude and approach throughout the audition process will also be observed, including when you are not performing. Your performance, effort and commitment throughout the session will help us determine whether the production is the right fit for you and, if so, where you may be best placed within the company.
CALL-BACKS THURSDAY 24th SEPTEMBER | 4.10PM–6.30PM (by invitation only) Selected students from across both audition sessions will be invited to attend call-backs. Students invited to call-backs will receive an email with further information. Call-backs will take the form of a workshop-style audition, where students may be asked to explore: Different characters Scenes and dialogue Songs and harmonies Movement combinations Character relationships A call-back does not necessarily mean a student will be offered a principal role. It is an opportunity for the audition panel to explore different casting possibilities and find the strongest fit for the production.
AFTER THE AUDITIONS CAST ANNOUNCEMENT (24/09/2026 11.00AM) The moment we've all been waiting for! The Principal Cast will be announced in the Drama Studio at break time on Friday. All students who auditioned are encouraged to come along, whether you auditioned for a principal or ensemble role. This is a chance for us to celebrate the end of the audition process and the beginning of our West Side Story journey together. Students who have auditioned for the ensemble will receive an email at 4.00pm on Friday 24th September confirming whether they have been offered a place in the company. TABLE READ Once casting has been confirmed, the production process begins immediately. The principal cast members are expected to attend the table read 2.00pm 4.30pm on Sunday 27th September. This is an opportunity to explore the script together, begin developing characters and relationships, and start discovering the world of West Side Story. REHEARSALS The rehearsal process will begin immediately on Monday 28th September, from 4.10pm–6.00pm. Students will be added to the relevant Microsoft Teams group, and the rehearsal schedule and all important information will be shared via Teams and email. PARENT WELCOME MEETING Following the first rehearsal, there will be an important parent meeting at 6:00pm. This meeting is essential for all parents/guardians to attend with their child as we will cover key information about the rehearsal and production process, including commitments, expectations, key dates and communication. At least one parent/guardian of every cast member must attend.
AUDITION SONGS: ENSEMBLE America
CONTEXT “America” is performed by Anita and the Sharks as they debate the reality of life in America. Anita celebrates the opportunities and freedom she associates with America, while the others challenge her with the difficulties and discrimination they face. The number explores the contrasting experiences of the Sharks, mixing humour, energy and tension as they argue over whether life in America is really as promising as it seems.
THE SHARKS
I like to be in America Okay by me in America Everything free in America For a small fee in America I like the city of San Juan I know a boat you can get on Hundreds of flowers in full bloom Hundreds of people in each room! Automobile in America Chromium steel in America Wire-spoke wheel in America Very big deal in America!
AUDITION MATERIALS
Scan the QR code to acces score, and backing track
AUDITION SONGS: PRINCIPAL GIRLS CONTEXT I Have a Love takes place after Anita discovers that Maria is in love with Tony, who has killed Bernardo. Anita warns Maria that she cannot love someone responsible for her brother’s death. Maria’s response is to defend Tony and insist that her love for him is stronger than the hatred between their communities. The duet therefore becomes a confrontation between Anita’s anger and grief and Maria’s determination to hold on to the love she has found.
MARIA
You were in love, or so you said You should know better.
I Have a Love
AUDITION MATERIALS
I have a love, and it's all that I have Right or wrong, what else can I do? I love him; I'm his, And everything he is I am, too. I have a love and it's all that I need, Right or wrong, and he needs me too. I love him, we're one; There's nothing to be done, Not a thing I can do But hold him, hold him forever, Be with him now, tomorrow And all of my life!
Scan the QR code to acces score, and backing track
AUDITION SONGS: PRINCIPAL BOYS CONTEXT Something’s Coming is sung by Tony at the beginning of the musical, as he reflects on his life after leaving the Jets and the violence of gang life behind. Although he cannot explain why, Tony feels that something significant is about to happen and that his life is about to change. The song captures his growing sense of hope and anticipation, establishing his desire for something beyond the conflict and routine of his old life.
TONY
Could be . . . Who knows? . . . There's something due any day— I will know right away, Soon as it shows. It may come cannonballing down through the sky, Gleam in its eye, Bright as a rose. Who knows? It's only just out of reach, Down the block, on a beach, Under a tree. I got a feeling there's a miracle due, Gonna come true, Coming to me!
Something’s Coming AUDITION MATERIALS
Scan the QR code to acces score, and backing track
AUDITION MONOLOGUES CONTEXT TONY
This monologue is inspired by “Something’s Coming”. In the monologue, Tony expresses how lost he feels and how meeting Maria gives him hope that his life could change. Intention: Create hope
BERNARDO
This monologue is inspired by the moment Bernardo notices the connection between Tony and Maria. In the monologue, Bernardo reacts with anger and fear as he realises that Maria has fallen for a Jet, someone he sees as a threat to his sister and their family. Intention: Create tension
RIFF
This monologue is inspired by the “Tonight” Quintet. In the monologue, Riff prepares the Jets for the rumble, determined that they should stand their ground and fight back against the Sharks. Intention: Build anticipation
MARIA
This monologue is inspired by the final scene of the musical. In the monologue, Maria reacts to Tony’s death and expresses her grief, anger and frustration at the violence and hatred that has taken him from her. Intention: Show heartbreak
ANYBODYS
ANITA
This monologue is inspired by Anybodys’ determination to become a member of the Jets. In the monologue, Anybodys explains how much she wants to belong and prove that she is more than an outsider. Intention: Highlight desperation This monologue is inspired by “A Boy Like That. In the monologue, Anita confronts Maria about her love for Tony, expressing her anger, grief and disbelief that Maria could love the man responsible for Bernardo’s death. Intention: Communicate Hurt
DOC
SHARK BOY
OFFICER SCHRANK
This monologue is inspired by Doc’s role in West Side Story. Doc expresses his frustration, concern and disappointment at the ongoing violence between the Jets and Sharks, while believing that the young people involved can be better than the cycle of fighting. Intention: Provoke reflection This monologue is inspired by the Sharks’ experience in West Side Story. In the monologue, the speaker expresses the frustration, anger and determination of a community that has left home in search of a better life but continues to be treated as outsiders. Intention: Communicate Anger This monologue is inspired by Officer Schrank’s role in West Side Story. In the monologue, Schrank expresses his frustration and authority as he challenges the gangs’ behaviour and demands that they stop fighting and causing trouble. Intention: Assert authority This monologue is inspired by Glad Hand’s role in West Side Story. In the monologue, Glad Hand tries to keep control of the community dance, becoming increasingly flustered and frustrated as the dancing gets more chaotic. Intention: Create comedy
GLAD HAND
JET BOY
OFFICER KRUPKIE
This monologue is inspired by “Gee, Officer Krupke” from West Side Story. In the monologue, the speaker uses humour and sarcasm to mock the adults’ attempts to explain and blame the Jets’ behaviour, ultimately arguing that society is responsible for the problems they face. Intention: Showcase Cheek This monologue is inspired by Officer Krupke’s role in West Side Story. In the monologue, Krupke expresses his frustration and exasperation at constantly having to deal with the gangs’ behaviour, demanding that they take responsibility and start behaving like adults. Intention: Show frustration
TONY
I think I got lost somewhere along the way. Not lost like I didn't know where I was. I knew these streets. I knew the people around me. I knew what was expected of me. But somewhere along the way, I stopped asking myself what I actually wanted. Everything just became noise. And after a while, I couldn't remember what I was even looking for. Then I saw her. Maria. I don't even know how to explain it. One minute, everything felt...empty. And then there she was. And for the first time in a long time, something felt different. Not because of anything she said. Just because... she made me want to hope again. Hope that maybe my life doesn't have to be decided for me. Maybe there's something beyond all of this. I don't know what it is yet. But I know I want to find it. And somehow, seeing Maria made me believe that I could.
You don't understand, Maria. You think because you see something beautiful, it must be good. You think because he looks at you and smiles, because he says your name like it means something, that suddenly none of the rest of it matters. But I know who he is. I know who his friends are. I know what they think of us. I know what happens when they see a Shark walking down the street and decide they own that street. And now you tell me that you love one of them? After everything I've done to protect you, after everything I've tried to build for you here, you throw it away for him. You may think he is different, but he’s not. He is still a Jet. And you are my sister, and I wont let you walk straight into something that could destroy you.
RIFF
BERNARDO
This ends one way. We stop backing down. Every time they come at us, we move away. Every time they push, we give them space. And what does that get us? Nothing. They think they own these streets. They think we're gonna keep letting them take over, one corner at a time. Not anymore. Tonight everything changes. This time, we choose the place. We choose the time. We make sure everybody knows what's happening. No surprises. No hesitation. And when they show up, we show them that the Jets aren't going anywhere. This isn't just about one fight. It's about respect. It's about making sure they know that if they come for us, there will be a price. Maybe you think I'm taking it too far. But somebody has to do something. Because waiting for things to get better? That's not a plan. This is. So you can stand behind me...or you can get out of the way.
MARIA
No. Tony. No. No, no, no...Tony. Tony, look at me. Please. Please, just look at me. You said you'd come back. You said we'd be together. You said we could leave all of this behind us. Help, someone please help. Help him. How can you just stand there? He's dying! You did this. All of you. All this fighting, all this hatred, all these stupid rules. And now he's gone. He's gone because of it, beause of you. I loved him. Do you hear me? I loved him. He wasn't a Jet to me. He wasn't an enemy. He was the person who made me believe that maybe we could be different. That maybe we didn't have to live like this. And now you've taken him from me. So don't tell me this had to happen. Don't tell me it was inevitable. Look at him. Look at him. Look at what your hatred has done. You all wanted to win and for what? Look at what winning has given you. You've taken the person I loved most. And now I have nothing.
Don't laugh. I'm serious. You all think I'm pretending. Like I'm playing at being one of you. But I'm not. I know I don't look like you. I know I don't sound like you. I know what you say when you think I can't hear you. "Anybodys." Like that's all I am. Like I'm some kid who keeps hanging around because I don't know when to leave. But I do know. I know exactly where I want to be. With you, one of the boys. I've watched you all my life. The way you walk. The way you talk. The way you look at each other when something happens. You're a family. And I want that. I want to matter. I want someone to look at me and not think I'm in the way. So give me a chance. Tell me what I have to do. I'll prove myself. I'll take the risk. I'll do whatever it takes. Because I'm tired of standing on the outside waiting for somebody to decide I'm good enough to come in. I don't want to be Anybodys. I want to be one of you.
ANITA
ANYBODYS
Bernardo is dead. Do you understand that? He is dead. My husband. My life. The person I was supposed to grow old with. And you stand there...talking about. . . about him. I can't even say his name. How can you stand by a man like that. How can you stand there and tell me you love him? And ask me to understand? He killed your own brother Maria. You stupid girl. I close my eyes and I see his face. I hear his voice. And then I hear you say. . . Tony, and all I can think is that Bernardo should still be here. He should be standing beside me. He should be coming home. And he isn't. Do not ask me to accept this. I can’t, I won’t. If you choose him, you cant stay here. You need to leave and not look back. There will be nothing left for you here.
DOC
I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but this cannot continue. Every night, the same thing. The same boys, the same fighting, the same anger. And every morning, I come back here and I see the consequences. You think this is about territory? About who owns which street? About proving you're tougher than the other side? It isn't. You're destroying yourselves. And for what? I've watched young men come through this neighbourhood with dreams, with talent, with their whole lives ahead of them, and somehow they end up believing that fighting is the only thing they're good at. You come in here angry. You expect me to patch you up, give you some advice, and send you back out there so you can do it all over again. Well, I'm tired of it. Not because I'm angry with you. Because I know you can be better than this.
You think we came here because we wanted to fight? You think we enjoy walking down the street and wondering who is going to start something next? We came here for a better life. That's what they don't understand. We left everything we knew behind. We came here believing there would be somewhere for us. Somewhere we could work, build a home, raise a family. But every time we try to make something for ourselves, we're reminded that we're not welcome. They call us outsiders. They look at us like we don't belong. And then they wonder why we're angry. The Jets think these streets belong to them. Well, they don't. They belong to all of us. And I'm not going to stand there quietly while someone tells me I have no right to be here.
OFFICER SCHRANK
SHARK BOY
You know what I don't understand? You kids seem to think the whole city belongs to you. You walk around here like you own the streets. You pick fights, you cause trouble, and then you act surprised when somebody finally comes along and tells you to stop. Well, I'm telling you now. Stop. I don't care what you call yourselves. Jets. Sharks. Gangs. Whatever makes you feel important. You're all the same to me. You think you're tough? Fine. Then try being tough enough to walk away. Because every time you fight, every time you retaliate, every time you decide that you have something to prove, things get worse. And don't give me that look. I've heard every excuse. "He started it." "They came onto our turf." "We had no choice." There's always a choice. You just don't seem to like the one where you use your brains. So here's what's going to happen. You're going to go home. You're going to stay out of trouble. And for once in your lives, you're going to do exactly what you're told.
GLAD HAND
Now, everyone, let's just take a moment. A moment. Because I'm beginning to think that perhaps some of these dances are becoming... unnecessarily enthusiastic. There is a line between energetic and...erm. ..dangerous. And I believe we crossed it approximately three minutes ago. The whole purpose of this dance is to encourage friendship, cooperation and community spirit. Not... whatever that was. So perhaps we could all take a deep breath, remember, this is a social dance. Not a competition. Not a wrestling match. And certainly not an audition for the circus. Now... let's try again. And this time, if everyone could simply follow the instructions, maintain a sensible amount of personal space and refrain from any unnecessary suggestive manoeuvres, I'm sure we can have a perfectly pleasant. OH, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE! THAT IS NOT HOW WE DANCE! THERE ARE RULES!
Look, Officer Krupke, before you start asking questions, I think we should clear something up. Apparently, we're “delinquents”. Personally, I think that's a little harsh. I'd say we're misunderstood young gentlemen with an enthusiasm for street-based activities. You say we've got some kind of social disease. Fine. Maybe we do. But have you ever considered that perhaps society gave it to us? And now you want to send us to a head shrink. A head shrink! What exactly is he supposed to do? Look inside my head and say, "Yep... there's the problem." Because I'll save him the appointment. The problem isn't me. It's the Sharks. It's the neighbourhood. It's the adults. It's the police. It's the streets. Honestly, I'm a sweetheart. Ask anyone. In fact, you know who I blame? The parents, terrible real, no wonder we’re a mess! Enough! Enough! Honestly, I don't know how many times I have to say the same thing before it actually gets through to you. Every time I come down here, it's the same nonsense. Fighting, shouting, arguing, pushing, running around like you haven't got a single sensible thought between you. And then, when I ask what happened, suddenly nobody knows anything. "Oh, Officer Krupke, it wasn't me." "I didn't do anything." "He started it." Every. Single. Time. Do you think I enjoy coming down here to sort this out? I've got better things to do! I've got paperwork. Reports. Complaints. People who actually want my help. And yet here I am, once again, standing in the middle of another ridiculous argument between a group of teenagers who seem determined to make my job as difficult as possible. You want to be treated like adults? Then start behaving like them!
JET BOY
OFFICER KRUPKIE