Asperger's Syndrome

Many famous people have Asperger’s: Microsoft inventor Bill Gates, Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri, actor Sir Anthony Hopkins and activist Greta Thunberg. World expert on Asperger’s Professor Tony Attwood describes it as different, not defective, like “being left-handed.”

More than one in 100 people are living in the UK with autism including Asperger’s Syndrome, with many more going undiagnosed. Often misunderstood and rejected, those with the condition can experience severe loneliness and isolation.

Consultant Clinical Psychologist Frank Chapman from Mersey Care NHS Foundation Trust says “Most of us learn the rules about how we communicate and interact and use them instinctively. We take a cue from others about how to express ourselves – through facial expressions, hand gestures, how close we stand to someone when we are talking.

“Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome can’t always read what others are thinking. It is not that they don’t care, quite the opposite. They know the rules but not how to apply them, and they worry constantly about getting them wrong.”

Masking is commonly used by people with Asperger’s and is compared by leading expert on Autism, Professor Attwood, to being on the stage all the time which he says is exhausting. “You have your role and your script and for that individual, they fear the mask must never come away because those who see it may not like the person who it reveals. This leads to anxiety and depression and the feeling that the inner me is so bad that I must hide it.”

Alan is a paramedic based at Heswall ambulance station. He has been part of an ambulance crew for 18 years, his first four years spent as an emergency medical technician. Alan was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at the age of 47. It was in 2020 just before the pandemic hit.

“I was aware something was different to me than my peers in my teenage years. At school, I got easy questions wrong and difficult questions right. I found socialisation difficult, and I had few friends as I would struggle with social interactions. I was constantly anxious every day to the point it was crippling. I would mask to try and fit in, observe and watch behaviours and emulate them.”

Alan’s behaviours continued through adulthood but were magnified by extreme anxiety. There were milestones in Alan’s life he came across that would make him question his differences. Such as when he worked at a local hospital and a colleague’s child was diagnosed and he recognised some of their behaviours in himself.

It was only when Alan’s daughter came along and was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of four did Alan look to get a diagnosis for himself. He spoke to his GP who started him on his diagnosis journey which took over two years.

“I could see certain behaviours in my daughter that I could relate to. She has extreme anxiety at such a small age. My wife took it hard as for years she just thought our daughter took after me and was her dad’s daughter. She has, however, been my pillar of support.

“Being diagnosed at 47 at the time gave me rationale and relief. Then I went on a bit of a downward spiral blaming myself for my daughter’s diagnosis. As time has progressed, I have got better at coping with that element.

“My behaviours are me. I like order, I still line the cups up in cabinet. The blinds and ornaments have to be a certain way. I find social interactions just as hard as I ever have, and I tend to listen to conversations and don’t join in. I feel comfortable with only a select few people.”

When it comes to talking about his role, Alan believes being a paramedic helps him with his Asperger’s. “I like routine and it is almost as if in my job I have a script that makes me feel completely comfortable and at ease.

“My managers and colleagues have been a great support since finding out about my diagnosis. They have tried their best to understand Asperger’s Syndrome. I would like to thank Newly Qualified Paramedic Siobhan Deeley, Emergency Medical Technician 1 Emily Harwood, Senior Paramedic Team Leaders Bex Gibbs and Robbie Cameron for helping me and supporting me through it.

“I am now looking at having a work health passport in place which identifies my trigger points and strategies to help. If I am feeling overwhelmed and need a few minutes out, I can take it to practice some techniques to help calm my anxiety.”

Alan shares two tools he uses to help with anxiety to bring him into the present moment:

FIVE THINGS

Five things you can see, describe one thing to yourself.

Four things you can hear, and describe one thing to yourself.

Three things you can touch, describe one thing to yourself.

Two things you can smell, describe one thing to yourself.

One thing you can taste, describe it to yourself.

VISUALISATION

Try and think of a place you are happy and that you associate with a good memory and put yourself in that moment.

If you would like support, the National Autistic Society provides information about Asperger’s Syndromeautism.org.uk yourself.