Our journey to starting a family.

When Paramedic Ruth and Ambulance Care Assistant Charley decided to start a family, they knew that being in a same-sex relationship brought extra challenges.

An initial GP appointment left them feeling deflated after realising the long waits in store to start IVF treatment but the couple remained determined to overcome any barriers.

Charley and Ruth married in a beautiful Christmas ceremony in 2016 and rather than ask for contributions to their honeymoon as a gift, they put the money towards a private fertility clinic.

Ruth would carry the child using a sperm donor who was selected based on features similar to Charley.

Sadly after numerous tests, they received the devastating news that Ruth’s low egg count would make this very hard. Some difficult conversations followed and it was decided that Ruth would still carry the baby but that they would use Charley’s egg instead.

Ruth said: “It was tough to hear, but this way meant that the baby could be a part of us both.”

The doctors managed to retrieve 19 eggs from Charley and the couple decided to donate nine of these to allow other families the chance to start a family. Sadly nine of 10 remaining eggs did not survive to the next stage and the final egg was also not behaving in the way it should. The doctors decided to give it one more day. And it worked!

In September 2017, Ruth gave birth to their son.

Still feeling that their family wasn’t quite complete, the couple decided to adopt their second child. After a lengthy process, a bouncing one-year-old boy joined their family in September 2020.

Ruth continues: “It hasn’t always been easy, our eldest son was born prematurely which meant that he was in neonatal intensive care for three weeks and we weren’t allowed to hold him.

“When our second little boy joined us, it was challenging for the both boys adjusting to the changes in our family which was made even harder during COVID-19. But it’s by far the best thing we ever did.”

Charley added: “Being in a same-sex relationship, we did worry about our choices as we know no matter how much the world has changed, it is still different to have two mums. We hope that it allows our boys to stay grounded and gives them a broader outlook on life.”