photo: {Nurtu red}
by Jen
Contents Physical Development
Cover
24 Skin Safe: Products for Bubs By Catherine Cervasio
48 Why Yoga for kids? By Gopala Amir Yaffa
52 Healthy Homes: Raising Children in a Safe Environment By Melissa Wittig
70 Infant Massage: The Power of Touch
By Infant Massage Information Service
72 Summer Babywearing By Anne McEwan
74 The Skinny on Fats By Dr Sarah Lantz
Emotional Development 6 Getting Comfortable with ‘The Talk’ By Kelly Bartlett
Mum and Dad’s Development 16 Moments of Significance: How Fathers Can Bond with Their Children By Ben Pratt
28 Mums Guide To Feeling More Energized By Lisa Guy
34 How to Stop Losing it with Our Children By Rachel Schofield
41 Nurture Villages: Sharing Motherhood, Building Community By Emma Heffernan
10 You Can Have a Baby that Cries Less By Patrice Miller
14 Name Calling Doesn’t Have To Hurt your Child By Naomi Aldort
20 Shifting from Control to Connection: Building Relationships that Last a Lifetime By Bonnie Harris
23 Filling our Teens Love Tank By Claire Eaton
37 The Alpha Child
By Dr Deborah MacNamara
42 Emotional Wellbeing for Children By Jan Gudkovs and Jan Dugan
Intellectual Development 9 Learning an Instrument: A Guide Part III By Tara Hashambhoy
20 Educational Disillusion By Csilla
Spiritual 38 Family Meditation: Skills For Life By Keean Manktelow
44 Removing Conditions on Our Love By Jesse Pearson
58 Using Herbs through Pregnancy, Birth and Postpartum ~ Part II By Kristin Beckedahl
62 Preparing for a Natural Birth By Bree Taylor Molyneaux
66 Relactating & Increasing Supply By Meg Nagle
80 United Parenting By Arnaum Walkley
Regular Features 4 Your Photos 75 Adventures with Sam By Sam Smith
76 Dad’s Corner
By Johnny Pillinger
78 What’s Cooking?
By Artisian Wholefoods
80 Product Reviews 81 Directory Join our facebook community and share in all our stories, questions, laughter and tears! www.facebook.com/ NurtureParentingMagazine
www.nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au
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Editor’s Letter I was about to write “My son is growing up so fast” but then I stopped after ‘My son’. Where does this terminology come from? William (27 mths) is going through the stage of ‘mine’! “My bike” “My ball” My this, my that. And I wondered where he got it from. I thought I had been raising him in such a way that we have a community of things but clearly I was wrong. I then noticed more things. When I would talk to him I would say things like “mummy’s car”, “daddy’s car”, “mummy’s knife and William’s knife” (he has a small knife while I have a bigger knife). It is all about possession. This of itself is not so bad, the hard part is the expectation in our society that young children, after learning about “my” things, must share. And as many parents know, this normally ends in an upset! I guess what has brought this up in my mind is a post on facebook I saw a couple of weeks ago about the African children being told that there was a pile of fruit underneath a tree in the distance and the first person to get there could eat all the fruit. The person said “go” and all the children held hands and skipped over to the tree and all enjoyed the fruit. When asked why they didn’t run to get all the fruit, they replied “how can one of us be happy if the rest are not?”. It has really struck a cord with me and since then have realised that even at 27 months old, I have unintentionally taught my son about property being his rather than communal for all to share. When discussing with some people about William’s “my this” and “my that” and the consequential upset when another child wants to play with the item, they have shrugged it off and said “it’s that age isn’t it!”. But is it? And why if “it is that age” do we as a society not accept it an punish childrent because of it (eg. not sharing)? I often wonder whether children in counties such as Africa and Eastern countries struggle with this “my” at that age and the consequential upset. So I have just taken a few minutes to do some research.
Grandpa! Camping with
A study in 2003 of a central African tribe found that they are more indulgent with their toddlers than we are with our toddlers. When given an attractive object: “mothers and older siblings (3-5 years old) routinely let the toddler (1-3)have the object—and older children often asked their younger sibling for permission to play with the object. If the mother got involved, she gave the object to the toddler 97 percent of the time, without insisting on sharing or turn-taking. In the rare case when a mother had to intervene, she explained that the toddler “didn’t understand” ... Guatemalan mothers expect an older sibling to defer to the toddler for the sake of harmony and good relations. Their parenting style can be understood as a reflection of broader cultural values related to collectivism and interdependence.”
Whilst this may seem contrary to us Westerners (who have a preoccupation with requiring toddlers to share), it actually seems to work because: “the “terrible twos” are nowhere to be found in these families. Parents in San Pedro la Laguna do not report a sudden onset of negative or contrary behavior. Instead, their children make the transition from grabby toddler to cooperative child without a hitch.”
So yes, young children may not want to share, but the upset is caused by the way we deal with it. I have known for a while that a toddler does not have the ability to share at such a young age and that expecting them to share is naturally going to end in upset, but this has helped cement that belief. However, this is easy when you are at home and have control over the situation, but what about when you are having a playdate? I’m not sure about the answer to that one, other than to surround yourself with other like-minded parents so that your children can be free to always behave in age appropriate ways. Another idea is to also discuss these issues and how you normally deal with them with the other parent prior to an issue esculating with the children ... and yet another idea is to say no toys from home when going out on playdates ~ just enjoy the nature! Back to ‘My son’ ~ he is not ‘mine’ ~ I do not own him, I do not possess him. He is on loan to me to raise in the best way I see fit. But he is not ‘mine’. He is his own person. So back to the start, ‘William is growing up so quickly!’
Nurture Australia’s
Natural Parenting
Magazine
www.nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au
Maxi-mum benefits for you and your baby
Editor
Kristy Pillinger
Graphic Design Karah Edwards
Swing maxi
Photography
Two Acorns Photography Leecy Photography EstarA Photography {Nurtured} by Jen Atomicbutterfly Photography & Depositphotos
Issue Contributors
Naomi Aldort, Kelly Bartlett, Kristin Beckedahl, Catherine Cervasio; Claire Eaton, Jan Gudkovs and Jan Dugan, Lisa Guy, Bonnie Harris, Tara Hashambhoy, Emma Heffernan, Dr. Sarah Lantz, Dr Deborah MacNamara, Keean Manktelow, Anne McEwan, Meg Nagle, Jesse Pearson, Ben Pratt, Rachel Schofield, Sam Smith, Bree Taylor Molyneaux, Arnaum Walkley, and Gopala Amir Yaffa.
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