photo: Jade
Physical Development 8 Who Needs Playtime? You & Your Children Do
Cover
By Roberta Michnick Golinkofft and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek
18 Caring For Ourselves, Caring For Our World By Su-Lin Sze
30 Learning an Instrument: A Guide ~ Part II By Tara Hashambhoy
42 Bedsharing: What Does The Community Want? What Do Parents Need To Know? ‘ By Dr Catherine Fetherston
66 Basic Babywearing Safety By Anne McEwan
68 Why You Should Care About Circumcism By Tracy Cassels
Emotional Development 12
Ending Bedtime Struggles By Rachel Schofield
26
Why Fathers Matter
30
Emotional Expression: Helping Children Learn the Language of their Heart
By Ben Pratt
By Dr Deborah MacNamara
38
Don’t Put the Cart Before the Horse: Looking for the Reasons Behind Children’s Behaviour By Dr Peter Haiman
Intellectual Development 6 72
“What How & Why Nanny?” The Curious Child By Jenny England
Brain Boosting Food for Children By Lisa Guy
www.ja denorw ood.co m
Norwo od’s
Photog raphy
Contents
Mum and Dad’s Development 24 Parenting the Strong-Willed Child By Kelly Bartlett
34 Shattered Expectations By Petrea King
46 Rethinking ‘Sleep Problems’ By Meg Nagle
50 Positive Birth
By Keean Manktelow
57 MamaBake: The Mothers Revolution By Michelle Shearer
58 Using Herbs through Pregnancy, Birth and Postpartum By Kristin Beckedahl
62 Breastfeeding: A Cause for Celebration By Robyn Noble
Regular Features 4 Your Photos 80 Ask Our Expert 65 Your Story 71 Adventures with Sam By Sam Smith
29 Dad’s Corner
By Johnny Pillinger
49 Activity Time
By Emily Filmore
75 What’s Cooking?
Spiritual 16 Families that Dream Together Stay Together By Claire Eaton
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By Artisian Wholefoods
76 Book Reviews
by Sharon Dowley
78 Product Reviews 81 Directory Join our facebook community and share in all our stories, questions, laughter and tears! www.facebook.com/ NurtureParentingMagazine
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Editor’s Letter “Emotions are neither right nor wrong, they are just part of the beautiful complexity of our human nature and interaction with the world” Dr Deborah MacNamara
For me, the hardest part of my parenting journey with William is accepting and being ok with emotional expression. By this, I mean the full gamut of emotional expression. Of course it is easy to be ok with the laughs, giggles, even the cry when he is hurt (compassion kicks in straight away). In fact, the chasing the laughs and giggles is the best and most rewarding part of my day! But the hardest part for me is accepting the other end of the emotional expression ~ the frustrated cries, the tantrums (although we are blessed to have very few of those), the whinging. As soon as any of them start, I feel my body start to tense. It makes me feel frustrated, upset and worst of all, lose the patience I normally have so much of. The worst of all is ‘defiance’ ~ when I ask him not to do something and he looks me square in the eye and does it! Boy did I start to see RED! I was not fully conscious to my internal reaction at first. It just happened, without much knowledge. But then I read a few articles and a few books and became conscious to what was going on inside of me. Once conscious to my ‘reaction’ I started thinking about it. Because, really, I don’t want to feel that way, nor do I want to be a parent that loses patience right at a time when my child needs me the most. I want to be a kind, empathetic and nurturing mother. It’s me, not you! So to me, the first step was to realise that it is not William making me feel that way, it is me. William is being a completely normal 2 year old when he cries with frustration that his toy train will not stay on the track; when he wants to keep playing in the driver’s seat of the car
when I need us to go inside so I can start cooking dinner; when I ask him not to throw his fork on the wooden table, but it makes such a nice sound! He is acting in an age appropriate way. Why do I feel this Way? So, knowing it is not William, it is me, I needed to know why I feel this way. The only reason I can put it down to is that I was raised (probably the same as you) that there are good emotions and bad emotions. The bad emotions are to be hidden away. This was subconsciously taught by the ‘big girls don’t cry’, ‘stop your whinging’ ‘nobody want to hear you [cry/whinge]’ etc. We learnt that those emotions are not good, and whilst we cannot not feel them, we can hide them and consider them wrong. Now as an adult, it is difficult to hear and watch these emotions. Changing this mindset Whilst I know that mindsets that have been engrained since childhood cannot be changed overnight, I am confident that over time I will change my mindset. However, taking one step at a time, I have got a mantra that I find helps significantly when I start getting tense. That mantra is: “He is not giving me a hard time, he is having a hard time”
Natural Parenting
Magazine
www.nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au
Editor
Kristy Pillinger
Graphic Design Karah Edwards
Photography
Spikey Hedgehog Photography EstarA Photography & Depositphotos
Issue Contributors
Kelly Bartlett, Kristin Beckedahl, Sharon Dowley, Tracy Cassels, Claire Eaton, Jenny England, Dr Catherine Fetherston, Emily Filmore, Lisa Guy, Tara Hashambhoy, Dr Peter Haiman, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Petrea King, Dr Deborah MacNamara, Keean Manktelow, Anne McEwan, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Meg Nagle, Robyn Noble, Ben Pratt, Rachel Schofield, Michelle Shearer, Sam Smith, Su-Lin Sze and Arnaum Walkley.
Editorial Enquiries:
editor@nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au
This immediately makes me remember Advertising Enquiries: it is about William ~ William is having a advertise@nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au hard time. That turns my frustration almost 0414 988 445 immediately into compassion and empathy, as no parent wants to see their child having Feedback: problems (especially problems that we can feedback@nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au help them with). So whilst it has not yet changed my Subscriptions: initial feelings that the particular emotional subscribe@nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au expression should be stopped, it has helped me be able to be the empathetic parent Proudly printed in Australia by Webstar I know I can be (without my childhood and distributed by IPS baggage!) I have also found the article in this issue Nurture is published four times a year ‘Emotional Expression: Helping Children (March, June, September and December) Learn the Language of their Heart’ (page 30) by Nurture Parenting Magazine Pty Ltd has really helped work on the underlying reasons. And the article ‘Don’t Put the Cart No part of this publication may be Before the Horse: Looking for the Reasons reproduced in any form whatsoever without Behind Children’s Behaviour’ (page 38) also the written consent of the publisher. provides some insight into the reasoning All rights reserved. behind some of your child’s behaviour, which can help you deal with the root issue Content within this magazine is information only and not necessarily the views of the rather than the surface issue. Kristy Pillinger, Editor
ily in Victoria m to visit fam Taking WIllia t Poppy) ea gr d an (in pic Nanny
Nurture Australia’s
editor. It is not meant to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider if you are in any doubt regarding any of this information.
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