6 minute read
WHAT IT’S LIKE COMING OUT AS A QUEER NURSE
An LGBTQ+ Nurse Sheds Light on Their Experience as an Out Healthcare Professional
By Katie Taibl, BSN, RN, CPN
I WAS TERRIFIED TO COME OUT at my first nursing job. It was 2014 in the Florida Panhandle, and patients would incessantly ask me if I was married or had a boyfriend. It felt inauthentic to continue to say no when in reality, I was in a queer committed relationship. Despite warnings from my family not to come out at work, I decided I needed to be true to myself. There’s something damaging to lie about who you are.
Coming out at work brings a sense of elation, freedom, and relief. I have more confidence than when I was in the closet. Today, living in Boston, Massachusetts, I know I am lucky. Different parts of the U.S. have different climates for being out and LGBTQIA+ at work, especially in healthcare.
THE IMPACT OF AN LGBTQ-FRIENDLY HOSPITAL ORIENTATION
Coming out at my first pediatric nursing job set the stage for being out at subsequent nursing jobs as a travel nurse. The turning point, however, was when I worked in Los Angeles, a notoriously LGBTQIA-friendly city, at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles (CHLA).
CHLA was the first place I saw queer people celebrated in the hospital orientation. The hospital advertised Pride in their orientation, and my coworkers were unfazed by my lesbian relationship. One of the charge nurses on my floor was openly gay. I felt completely accepted for my sexuality, and after that, there was no going back. I have come out at nearly every workplace since.
ADVICE FOR COMING OUT AT WORK AS A NURSE
Reinforce to yourself why you want to come out. Perhaps it is to feel more accepted, create an inclusive work culture, be your authentic self, or reduce the stress of being in the closet. Remember your “why,” as this helps to build confidence. Don’t be afraid to create and maintain boundaries surrounding your sexual orientation as well.
If you’re LGBTQIA+ and want (or need) to come out at work, consider your safety. While there are federal anti-discrimination laws in place, not every state has protections. Gather your support from LGBTQIA+ groups outside of work. You can also check if your workplace has Pride or LGBTQIA+ Employee Resource Groups (ERGs).
Speaking with Human Resources is another way to learn more about the specific climate and protections offered at your hospital or workplace. You can also check if there are anti-discrimination policies or gender diversity protections listed in your work manual.
Coming out at work brings a sense of elation, freedom, and relief. I have more confidence than when I was in the closet.
FIND LGBTQ+ ALLIES IN YOUR COWORKERS
I was fortunate enough to have allies when I came out at work. I created a supportive LGBTQIA community outside of work (through roller derby), and one of my queer teammates worked on my floor. My other ally, and probably the main reason I felt safe enough to come out, was my beloved preceptor, who was also a lesbian. My nursing coworkers accepted her, so why wouldn’t they accept me?
It turned out they did accept me! Plus, coming out helped me connect with my pediatric floor colleagues. They were there for me when my mom died and during my first big lesbian breakup. Being myself led to more authentic connections in the workplace.
There’s something different about coming out at work. It can feel like your entire livelihood is at stake.
HOW STRAIGHT COWORKERS CAN SUPPORT THEIR LGBTQ+ COWORKERS
LGBTQ+ people experience higher rates of mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and suicide — which are all related to systemic oppression. Being supportive of your queer colleagues in the workplace goes a long way in reducing these alarming statistics. It creates a culture of inclusivity, which truly impacts us all for the better.
If you’re straight, educate yourself! Especially if you’re in a leadership position in the hospital. Simply googling “how to come out/how to come out as trans at work” can give a host of perspectives on an issue you may have never considered.
DIGGING INTO GENDER DIVERSITY
I’ve noticed that coming out as a lesbian is more accepted than coming out as non-binary. If it’s not necessary, I don’t really explain my gender identity (I identify as a non-binary lesbian). However, I understand this is a privilege that many transgender folks do not have. Half of transgender employees hide their identities at work for fear of discrimination.
When a patient, parent, or family member requests a specific identity or pronoun, respect it. Maybe that kind of stuff isn’t important to you, but it’s important to them — so important that they took the time to tell you. You don’t have to comment on it or agree with it. What’s important is to be respectful of and acknowledge gender differences. Using a person’s preferred pronouns matters.
Let’s make our healthcare workplaces more inclusive for our trans and queer colleagues. According to a 2023 Gallup poll, 22.3% of Gen Z-ers identify as LGBTQIA. The future is queer!
There’s something different about coming out at work. It can feel like your entire livelihood is at stake. Fundamental safety and discrimination issues may pose challenges to expressing your authentic self in the workplace.
Yet, coming out at work is connected to higher levels of career happiness for LGBTQIA women (and nursing is a female-dominated field). At a place where we spend 50% or more of our time, in a demanding profession where compassion fatigue runs rampant, we should feel safe to be openly LGBTQ+.
SOURCES
Baboolall, D., et. al. (2021). Being transgender at work. McKinsey & Company. Coleman, E., et. al. (2022). Standards of Care for the Health of Transgender and Gender Diverse People, Version 8. International Journal of Transgender Health. Ellsworth, D., et. al. (2020). How the LGBTQ+ community fares in the workplace. McKinsey & Company. Jones, J. (2024). LGBTQ+ Identification in U.S. Now at 7.6%. Gallup.
KATIE TAIBL (pronouns she/they) is a pediatric nurse and freelance nurse writer. She is passionate about writing educational, insightful articles to help guide others in the direction of progress and health. They are a pediatric primary care triage nurse and patient/family educator at Roslindale Pediatric Associates.
CONNECT WITH KATIE
Sometimes, it feels like I am the only queer person in my unit or place of employment (or only lesbian). Where are all the queer healthcare professionals at? While I am used to being the only LGBTQIA+ representative, I always love to connect with other queer nurses. Inclusivity and diversity matter in health care!
For LGBTQ+-friendly resources and health content for your organization, check out www.altnursestation.com.
Feel free to email me and tell me your story of coming out at work at katie@altnursestation.com.
