Cultivate Mankato: April News 2020

VOL. 01 APRIL 2020

This Month's News

Parent Resources

Modern Family Story

Cleaning, Spreading Kindness, FB Story Time

Connecting with Laura, Social Emotional Development

Stories Shared by Local Families

NURTURE. GROW. EMPOWER

April News

Spreading Love

We decorated with hearts! We also sent home hearts for children to decorate and share with a friend, family member or neighbor.

The school-agers have been spreading the love around downtown Mankato. They have

Message from Candice

walked around to nearby businesses and organizations putting up hearts.

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear hardship today.” - Thich Nhat Hanh For the past several weeks, I’ve spent many restless nights thinking about the global situation that we are facing. Like many of you, I’m feeling and suppressing a spectrum of emotions. Throughout the ebb and flow of emotions, my mind and heart continue to make room for HOPE. As we have entered uncharted territory within our society, we have also turned inward to search for the love and compassion we have for ourselves and others. I’m grateful for this. What are you grateful for?

Our preschool 3 classroom colored

CANDICE DEAL-BARTELL Executive Director

pictures and made cards for our

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friends that are staying home right now. We miss our friends!

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Cleaning Around the Clock Our handrails, door knobs, bathrooms and table surfaces are being sanitized throughout the day. We have designated staff members who are cleaning at all hours we are open. This cleaning is in addition to our every day cleaning checklist. We can't thank our staff enough for their flexibility and making sure our facility is safe and clean. Our facility has never been so clean!

Story Time with Ms. Laura & Sunny

New Team Member Please Welcome our newest team member!

Emma Thole works in our Preschool 3 classroom.

She is currently going to school at Minnesota State University - Mankato for Family Studies and Child Development. Her favorite part about working at Cultivate is building relationships with the children.

Join us on our Facebook page at 10am for live story time with Ms Laura, our Early Childhood Educator. We typically read two stories, one tailored for our toddlers and the second for our preschoolers. We also have a special guest named Sunny who loves to talk to the children who are listening. If you let us know that your child is listening in the comment section, we will give a shoutout at the end of our readings!

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April Menu Click the menu to download a pdf

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Parent Resource Tips for talking to children about coronavirus: Below is a summary of an article...to view the full article,

What you can do to help your child during this time of change:

here is the link. https://mailchi.mp/stvincent/talking-with-children-

Keep a routine at home that is similar to what your

about-coronavirus?e=86d7ed2370

child is used to; eat about the same time lunch was for them at Cultivate, play outside about the same

Ask them what they know first and if they notice

time, do a structured activity at the same time (this

something going on that feels different. This a good

doesn’t mean you need to stress yourself about a

strategy so you don’t bring something up that they

craft every day but think about something to do with

didn't know before. By bringing something up they

them that involves you and them spending quality

didn’t know, it may produce a worry in them that

time together.)

wasn’t there before. You only need to address the things that they want to know about.

Feel free to reach out to Laura Walser (refer to bottom of this page, if you want to talk through what

Help them know that they are safe and let them

daily schedules were).

know they can come to you with questions.-Be mindful of what they hear or see on the news, as well

We suggest utilizing Scholastic Learn at Home for

as being mindful of what you talk about around

your structured activity to do together. This website

them. They hear more than you think...even when

lays out daily books and daily activity ideas.

they look like they are too busy to be listening.

https://classroommagazines.scholastic.com/suppo rt/learnathome/grades-prek-k.html

Ask them how they feel about it, actually using feeling words. We have to remember that kids might

Be there to connect with them and love them...don’t

actually be excited about this, to them they are

stress about needing to be perfect. Be responsive to

getting more time with mom and dad!

their behaviors and support them when they are throwing a tantrum because it may mean they are

If you want specific ideas of how to answer questions,

trying to tell you they are stressed and need help.

this article is titled for toddlers but I think it would be helpful for preschoolers as well. https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/3265answering-your-young-child-s-questions-aboutcoronavirus

As always, we are here to support you and your children during these times. If you need guidance or help supporting your child at home right now, Ms. Laura, our Early Childhood Educator, is available to set up a video/phone conference with any parent who is interested. She would love to chat with you!

Reach out via email at laura.walser@cultivatemankato.com to set up a time to connect.

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Modern Family Story

"And that’s just how awareness is.

You fight for yourself."

By Dinah Langsjøen I had to go hide myself in a closet. I sat there and I sat there

I found out I had breast cancer last April. I remember I had

for what seemed like a really long time and finally he

started to really be in tune with my awareness and life,

stopped screaming, whatever he was screaming about,

spirituality, faith. I’m not a denominational kind of religious

and it turned into a, “Mommy! Mommy! Where are you,

person but I have a lot of beliefs that are tied into morals

mommy? I need you!” And once his tantrum changed, his

and values. Do good things, don't be bad. That's my

anger turning to worry, I opened the door and told him to

founding religion. Just don't be bad. Don’t hate. That’s what

come in. And we just sat there in the dark together and I

religion is, it’s all faith. Synchronicities for instance, but you

told him, ‘Torin, I love you when you're pissed off, I love you

put your faith into what you believe. And I believe that I

when you're happy, I love you when you're sad and I love

started to be really intune with myself and what I needed. In

you when you’re mad.” These are the best moments, and

my awareness, I started to become really conscious of

you don’t realize it. Those toddler meltdowns that you’re just

something weird going on in my body.

so over, if you change your perspective, it changes everything. In the immediate, it can be so frustrating and

Just about a year ago now I noticed a dimple on my breast,

you think, “Why can’t you stop yelling? Why can’t you stop

just a small one. They tell you after babies and after

screaming Torin? What is going on?”

breastfeeding that your breasts and body changes and to not worry too much about it. I’m under 40. I’m 33 now. 32

So I'm sitting in the dark with him and I’m thinking about

then. And you don't get mammograms until you are 40. It

how a year ago, when I got my diagnosis, I had held him

didn’t run in my family but I was still nervous and suspicious

crying just like this because I was so scared of not being

about it. I waited two or three months before I went to the

able to be there for him. But this time, it wasn't about fear. I

doctor. At that time I took a new job because my previous

realized that I am here to be there for him, in moments like

one didn't have insurance. At that time, I didn't know I was

this, when he needs me most.

going to need insurance -- it was a lateral move. From a job that I love doing to a job I am just ‘eh’ about. I left an

When we came out, we came out to an ‘after the storm’

interior design position, so I was an interior designer. Loved

kind of calm and it was really beautiful.

it but it didn’t have insurance. So now I am a Senior Executive Administrative Assistant for an insurance agency.

I just felt like something in my head, my intuition, or whatever, something was saying, “You are going to want insurance, you're a single mom.” So I got a new job with insurance. Lo and behold, now that I had a job with insurance, even as a single mom, I made slightly too much to be covered with state insurance for this program called Sage in Mankato. Sage offers free cancer screenings. Until April 1 that is. When the fiscal year changed and it went up $1000, or something, and then I was covered. I went in and on April 4th, 2019, I found out I have a lump. For real. I knew I felt it. The doctors had tried to send me away because they didn't feel it.

And that’s just how awareness is. You fight for yourself. So if that is what modern parenting is, “You fight for what you feel is right.” There. There is my cover story. You fight for your own well-being because you know yourself more than anyone else. You know what you can handle or what you cannot handle and I knew something was wrong.

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"I think one of the biggest issues; cancers, alcoholism, mental health, is that people are afraid to talk about them because we feel judged.

But everyone has a story and everyone is not perfect."

I mean, I’m human. I still feel like garbage sometimes. I get my real lows and my real highs, which is normal, and that's okay. You don’t get a break sometimes but each day, you So I find out I have cancer. I’ve done radiation, I have a fake boob. I don’t wear bras right now because who cares anymore. I don't care about bras anymore. At one point you realize it’s all just a vanity to feel like, “Oh my God, I'm losing my breast so now I’m not going to be a woman.” That's not true. It’s, “Oh my God, I lost my breast but I get to spend my life with my child as long as I can possibly do so.” My point is, he is the most important thing in my life. He’s what gets

take it. I think one of the biggest issues; cancers, alcoholism, mental health, is that people are afraid to talk about them because we feel judged. But everyone has a story and everyone is not perfect. Some are just not ready to share it or own it. But you are real when you accept that you're not perfect and you don’t pretend to be perfect. Velveteen Rabbit style; Velveteen Rabbit has eyes falling out, hair becoming worn and so on, but that made it real.

me through it.

I’m going to those young cancer survivor things because I My surgery was in May and then they found out that the cancer had spread to a node. But because of the spread they had to do radiation. I did twenty-five rounds of radiation in Rochester and was done in September. So

want to hear other people’s stories. I’m not alone. I want to be encouraged. It really is about becoming approachable and being open and vulnerable. That's how you become an influencer.

since September, I've been a “Survivor.” I don't call it a Survivor because it feels weird. Because you never know.

Most cancers come back in 3 to 5 years. So for 3 years I’ll be a survivor. Realistically. So now I’m just trying to take advantage of all the time I have.

I already own what happened to me but it doesn't feel like it. It feels like I'm outside of the story. Because it’s awful, some of the things that you go through. Not just the physical part that you are going through. It is the doctors and it is the appointments. It is being told, “Okay well your

Torin has been with so many different people; family and friends picking him up and taking care of him during all of it.

He'd been really good about it but he also has some big attachment things because he thinks I leave all the time.

Age appropriate as well. Torin being so emotional and aware of emotions is because of me. I'm a realist, and I’m an optimist too, but I’m more of a realist. Torin’s got this beautiful birthmark, it's a heart on his wrist and I tell him that’s his angel kiss. I tell him, ‘You know some days I might not be there and if there is ever a day that I'm not there, kiss the angel kiss and you’ll know I’m there.’ That’s how he can keep in contact with me.

next appointment isn't for three weeks so you won't know what that means for 3 weeks,” or, “You have to be gone for 5 days a week for 5 weeks so figure out how your going to watch your kid.” Those are the parts that are really hard.

And also the statistics. The doctor told me mastectomy is an 80% recurrent rate then if you add on chemotherapy you go up to 85% chance of survival in 15 years (and they only have data for 15 years because it doesn’t happen to young women, as often). But then if you add radiation you add another 2% survival rate for 15 years. And then if you add these hormone drugs you add another blah blah. But you know what, cancer was my biggest blessing because it made me reevaluate what was right and what was wrong.

The thing is, I have had an unbelievably weird life. My whole life. You just keep getting built up, all these things that you

What I can handle and what I can’t handle. And I can tell this story because it is okay to be happy in our success.

overcome. My mom is a single mom with 7 kids and my dad died when I was 9 months old so we were living in poverty

So yeah, I’m done with cancer for a while.

growing up. I’ve been in abusive relationships. I’ve lost people. Cancer. Most days I keep a really positive outlook.

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A little more about Dinah Dinah is the mother of three year old Torin who attends Preschool at Cultivate Mankato. She loves writing, painting, art and anything creative. She’s been trying to focus on her art to show Torin that it is okay to have hobbies and love them. She sells prints and greeting cards, and recently joined the Mankato Twin Rivers Art Council in their marketing department. She just finished some art that was hanging up at the Coffee Hag and it told the story of how her art has become therapeutic. It was a molecular series about how she’s been dealing with her cancer. She also has a CaringBridge blog that shares her journey with cancer from day one. She recently bought her first home in lower North Mankato and looks forward to riding her bike across the Memorial Veteran’s Bridge to bring Torin to school, here at Cultivate Mankato.

"And I can tell this story because it is okay to be happy in our success."

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