NUKS Restart: Sweet Promise

2021 WINTER

NUKS

Restart: Sweet Promise

www. studieverenigingknus.nl

Winter 2021 What’s inside...?

4 6 7 8 9

Illustrations:

@adriannewalujo.o

Chief Editors

Editors

10

Shanna de Caluwé Tatyana Dimitrova

Adil Boughlala

Designer

Britte Geertsma

Tatyana Dimitrova

Charlie Chowdhry

Anna Heijnis

Cover Art @apricotmayor @mashataksa @tomitamary_ @moi.liab

2

Charly Hermanns Daniela Piangiolino Jonathan Zackor Paula Werdnik Sofieke de Loos

11

Written for you.

Recommendations. 36 Questions.

Hello! We are the FSRL! The Faculty of Arts Student Council.

Restarting my Wardrobe.

“Using Singular They/ Them is Gramatically Incorrect.” But so Was the Singular You. Your Point Is? Become a Successful Plant Parent.

Self Love.

12 13 14 16 17 18

How to heal with low energy? Breathe!

Anonymous, Prolix, Unfathomable Present.

Short Story Continuation.

Colour Your Stress Away!

Stress-Relief Illustrations.

Can I Hug You? Affective Relationships during Corona.

Creamy Mushroom Pasta.

Poetry. Poem for the New Year.

P R E FA C E

Dear Reader, H ere we are! We made it into 2021! And here it is: cheers to another edition of the NUKS! You might think “But it has already been a month since New Year’s Eve passed?” and we will answer “So what?” Perhaps, sometimes, we would say often, this is the best reply, both to questions you can and cannot answer.

We want to celebrate yet another year differently from what you might normally encounter. What is different? Well, first of all, new year’s resolutions: maybe we don’t need resolutions this year. Maybe this year should not be about conquering mountain tops, but about the inbetween space. We will encourage you throughout the pages of this NUKS to go on a journey of healing that no one else can see. Because who knows better what you are going through or need, than you!

Restart: Sweet Promise is about celebrating all the small victories, because they matter as well. It is exactly those pieces that construct the whole of the grand victories. This edition is about love. Have you noticed? Valentine’s Day is right around the

Illustration:

@adriannewalujo.o

corner! But, instead, now we will encourage you to undertake a journey not centred around romantic love only, but self-love as well. And if you feel like you can’t yet do that, try to just make peace with yourself. Be accepting of who you are at the moment. Progress is not always the key. And who is to say that self-acceptance cannot be progress as well? You don’t have to be different or better in this moment. New year, same you, still learning.

How to breathe and how to simply be. You are not alone in the wondering: with this NUKS, we offer you understanding companions in the strange journey called Life.

Co-Heads of the NUKS committee & Designer,

Shanna de Caluwé & Tatyana Dimitrova

3

Written

for You

Illustrations:

Charlie Chowdhry

@tomitamary_

Trigger Warning: Mention of Suicidal Intentions

H

4

ave you ever written a letter to someone?

When we think of letters, we tend to think of pen and paper. Those of us with more history-oriented brains may even think of quills, inkwells and parchment. Truth be told, these things aren’t all that accessible. I only really use pens and paper when I’m taking notes for university, because in high school somebody told me that writing with pen and paper helps you remember better. I’m also fairly sure that carving your notes into wax tablets was an excellent memorisation tactic, but we have departed from this particular tradition.

I prefer typing over traditional writing for a number of reasons. Firstly, I had to take extra handwriting classes in primary school, as my writing looked like chicken scratch. After a decade of practice, my handwriting is now legible, and I am one

a bad idea. This made me think, though: how many times have I, in my head, drafted a letter to somebody and never sent it? I am not new to the sentiments contained within the angry letter I wrote out. Have there been times where I wrote a letter and stopped just shortly after writing it out?

There have been other instances in which I believe I received a letter that wasn’t on paper. Every heartfelt text message I’ve received gives me a certain feeling, and I think a paper letter would elicit the same response. Email correspondences with friends (especially in the era of private messaging on every social media app I can think of) make me think of writing letters. We address our emails and sign them, like we would with a letter. Dear friend, dearest companion; love from me, best wishes from myself.

There is something so special about that format of

of the five people my age in the world who writes in cursive. Additionally, I have very weak hands that get tired after a page of writing. This is problematic during exams. If you think you can see me doing jazzhands during an exam, I am not giving the paper the ol’ razzle-dazzle; I am trying to regain sensation in my digits.

These two things are considerable obstacles to my success as a pen-and-paper writer. This isn’t to say that I don’t write, though. I wrote a novel (well, technically, it’s a novella) on my faithful laptop. In accordance with the grand tradition of authors, I am both afraid of others reading it and desperate for them to read it. I have since started another novel.

Once, I penned (on paper!) a very, very angry letter to somebody after a particularly difficult therapy session, but my friends encouraged me not to send it. I agree with them now that sending it would have been

communication - a hang-over from the era of paper letter-writing.

There’s another instance in which I believe I was the recipient of a letter. It was maybe midnight, and somebody I no longer have contact with sent me a text thanking me for being such a good friend. I don’t know why, but the message worried me, so I messaged someone who was living with him to check up on him.

As it turns out, he had sent me that message in the middle of an overdose, and he planned to die that night. That message had been his suicide note. He lived.

It’s painful to think about that note. To this day, I get worried when I hear a nice message from a friend, in case this is their last message to me. In another era, I believe that the note would have been written down and posted to me, but instead I received it as a Facebook message. But it still felt very much like a letter.

What does a letter feel like? When I think about letters, I think about an emotional message passed from one human to another. I think about the famous love letters written from one soldier to another during WWII, and how they called each other ‘darling’. I think of pen pals, separated by oceans, sending each other pressed native flowers. I think of death telegrams. I think about the postcards we buy on holidays, cheerfully captioned ‘wish you were here!’ When I think about letters, I think about tenderness.

Maybe a letter doesn’t have to be on paper, written with a pen. Maybe a letter is simply a shared tender thought.

Going back to the question I posed at the beginning, I think that we are all constantly writing letters to one another. You saw a funny picture and thought of your friend, and you sent it to them with a witty caption. Somebody upset you, so you sent them a paragraph over text explaining what they did and how it made you feel. You had a terrible day, so you messaged your friends in the group chat, explained what happened, and asked to be sent pictures of puppies. In all these cases, you felt something so strongly that you had to let others know.

A letter is a message, sent by one person to another, that is born of emotion.

It is so wonderfully human for us to reach out in any way we can, to share how we feel with other people. I don’t think we should buy into the idea that these electronic forms of visual communication - social media, email - are impersonal somehow compared to pen and paper. They are tender; they are letters.

We don’t send all of these letters. We might deem our message too risky, or think that sending a particular picture or meme is lame. We press the backspace button; we tear up our letter and put it in the paper recycling. Sometimes, when it comes to an emotional connection, we find it difficult to feel the difference between fear and craving: our insecurity and horror at being in vulnerable battles with our desperation to be heard and understood, and it isn’t always clear which one wins. Both are vastly painful, especially to those who have had their vulnerability exploited before.

I return again to the idea of a letter. The mental image of somebody with their finger hovering over the send button; a writer with their pen hovering over the paper. To share, or to backspace? To make ourselves vulnerable, to write about how we feel, or to ball up our message and throw it into the bin? Are we willing to bare ourselves and allow another person in our heads for a moment, to allow them to see our emotions and judge them for themselves? Are we prepared to be tender?

Have you

written

a letter to

someone

today?

5

Recommendations: 36 Questions Britte Geertsma

Illustr atio n:

So

fie

ke

de

Lo

os

36 Questions is a Podcast Musical starring Jonathan Groff and Jessie Shelton. Currently, theatres are not open or access is limited.

This experimental project made by Two-Up Productions is the perfect solution. You can listen to it anytime, anywhere! While cooking, in bed, or simply on a walk. 36 Questions is about an estranged couple. Natalie lied and Jase ran away. On their first date, they did a science experiment where two strangers ask each other 36 questions with the intention of falling in love. They try to rekindle their relationship by asking each other the same questions. Oh, and there is a duck called Henry. I think that says enough.

36 Questions the Podcast Musical can be found on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Happy memories will always live on! Dear My Cat is a virtual pet simulator that lets the players sit back and watch cute, anthropomorphic felines go about their daily business around Sky Island. As a player, the ultimate all-observing mysterious entity, your job is to interact with the cat characters: make them happy, collect the hearts of their happiness, dress them cutely, expand the island and invite new feline friends. All of that while enjoying the sense of relaxation along the way! The game is designed to be laidback, but that does not mean there are no “challenges” to face. After all, cats are our lords and masters. We need to look after them. It sounds like this app is the ultimate form of therapy, doesn’t it? Now, let’s go and meet your first cat by the train station and create a lot of warm memories!

6

Hello! We are the FSRL! Hello! We are, Bas van de Ven, Marlijn Metzlar, Merel Van Bommel, Rafael Peltzer, Roel Veenstra and Zino Duckers.

Together we are the Faculty of Arts Student Council 20202021. Additionally, we work closely together with Pauline Stevens, the Assessor. This year, we are again committed to you, the students of the Faculty of Arts. For example, we have a say in deciding how the money is spent that has been released from the abolition of the basic grant, and many other topical matters. In addition, our focus points this year are visibility, inclusivity and quality of education during corona. It is our task to represent the voice of the student. For this we need your help, as the five of us cannot see everything, we need your feedback!

If you have something on your mind, want to share your experience or just want to know why something is the way it is, don’t hesitate to contact us! This can be done through the following channels.

E-mail: FSRL@student.ru.nl Facebook: @facultairestudentenraadletteren Instagram: @fsrletteren

On behalf of the FSRL 2020-2021

Hello! We are the OLC! The OLC (Opleidingscommissie/Programme Committee) is a committee consisting of student and staff members. The function of this committee is to ensure the courses taught by the faculty run smoothly, and also take constructive criticism and complaints from students and relay them to the FSRL (Faculty Student Council of Arts). The OLC takes the course evaluations at the end of each academic period and discusses within itself and with the FSRL how courses can be improved.

This year, the student members of the OLC for Algemene Cultuurwetenschappen/Arts and Culture Studies are Merel Van Bommel, Adil Boughlala, Jonathan Zackor and Freya Syson. If you have any questions or queries, feel free to contact us personally or on our email address!

E-mail: opcoba-acw_acs@ru.nl

On behalf of the OLC 2020-2021

7

Restarting my

Wardrobe Charlie Chowdhry

I

Illustration:

@caomor

remember going on a lads’ shopping trip with my dad after I came out. We went into River Island, where I bought a black denim jacket. I felt like I had to make the most out of my shopping trip, so I looked for something else to buy. The men’s section was a sea of black, grey, navy blue and white, and nothing really caught my eye.

Suddenly, calling out to me from across the room, I saw a black-and-grey shirt with pink flowers on it, hanging dejectedly on the clearance rack. Patterned shirts are like a bat signal to transmascs. Somehow, it was in my size, so I bought it.

You might assume that when I came out, I got rid of every ‘women’s’ item of clothing in my wardrobe and instantly replaced it with ‘men’s’ clothing. In reality, that would have been really goddamn expensive. If I replaced clothing, I always used a one-in, one-out scheme. To be honest, the clothes I wore before I came out weren’t all that different from what I wanted to wear. I have the patriarchy to thank for that one, of course - it’s absolutely fine for ‘girls’ to dress more masculine or feminine, whereas for ‘boys’ even wearing a colourful top would get you some equally colourful comments.

So, there I was, stocking my wardrobe with bright clothing that made me feel happy. At some point, through a combination of people telling me and observations I made for myself, I realised that I was still not dressing ‘like a man’.

Let’s back up a bit. I was now buying exclusively from the men’s section, which I found very preferable. I could buy a t-shirt that didn’t have a revealing v-neck, my new jeans weren’t designed to uncomfortably hug my figure, and my clothing choices were the ones that made me, a man, feel good about myself.

So why wasn’t I dressing like a man?

8

Around this time last year, I decided to get myself out there a bit, and I went to a DnD session at a local game shop.

It went well, except that even though my character was a guy (I think I called him Ed, but I don’t remember), both Ed and myself were being misgendered every time someone opened their mouth. I made a calculated move and pulled someone aside, and explained that I had a ‘testosterone deficiency’.

Technically, this is the truth. The person started addressing me as a he, and other people eventually followed. What a relief. However, I wasn’t done there. I ventured into the dragon’s den; I asked why they thought I was a girl. ‘You wear girls’ clothes’, one particularly honest individual told me.

I was wearing the denim jacket from River Island to that game. I was wearing men’s jeans from Primark, some very nice socks with lemons on them from H&M (from the MEN’S SECTION), and I believe I was wearing a plain black hoodie under the denim jacket. These things are men’s clothes, for goodness sake!!! Why did they think they were women’s clothes?! And then it clicked. These people did not seem like the type to understand some of the subtleties around gender presentation, gender identity and pronoun etiquette. I think, if I’d mentioned that I’m also quite comfortable with they/them pronouns, they would have short-circuited. These people, and indeed most people, were not given the tools to divine somebody’s gender (pro tip: tell people your pronouns when you introduce yourself, and they’ll tell you theirs).

Something I’ve learned over the past 6 years is that people are always going to be ignorant, and I might as well wear what I want. They’ll ascribe to me whatever gender they feel like without asking first. When I was obsessed with passing, I still got misgendered. Now, I have given up, but in a way that feels rather liberating. I recently bought a very nice pair of dungarees, which I’d been afraid to do before this point. I also grew my hair into a mullet, departing from my usual very average short haircut.

Trans and gender-nonconforming fashion is a hot topic, with those trans individuals who choose not to present in a stereotypical way being dismissed as trenders or ‘not really trans’. Those bonking others with the Trender Hammer are missing a key piece of understanding how the world works: the average person is a little bit silly. It’s not their fault. I think I would also be a little bit silly if I didn’t have lived experience of the difference between gender identity and gender presentation. Those without trans friends or family are understandably not equipped to deal with how wonderful and fabulous gender non-conforming fashion can be.

We can’t wait around for people to ‘get it’ before we can dress the way we like. We just have to dress how we like without waiting for approval from those who either don’t understand or deliberately choose not to.

“Using Singular They/Them is Grammatically Incorrect” But So Was the Singular You. Your Point Is? Tatyana Dimitrova

I

Illustration:

@t

om ita ma

ry

f you haven’t come across someone in real life who has told you that the use of the pronouns they/them in singular form is grammatically incorrect, the chances are that you have at least seen the discourse on social media or you are someone who has claimed that yourself. If you are the latter type, I regret to inform you that the use of the singular they can be traced all the way back to 1375, in the medieval romance William and the Werewolf. And just to spite you a little more: since language may exist in speech long before it’s written down, it’s likely that singular they was common even before the late fourteenth century.

But why does this being “grammatically incorrect” bother some people so much? Let’s briefly dive into the historical development of the English language together, shall we?

Following the above mentioned logic applied to they/them, did you know the you that we’re using to refer to someone in singular is actually plural? That’s why we say “you are” and not “you is”. Historically, it was a plural word. Back in the day, one would only use that word if they were talking to more than one person or somebody that they wanted to show a lot of respect to. Eventually, in the seventeenth century, what happened is people started using the honorary “you” when they were talking to anybody, just out of respect, to the point where “thou”, the singular version of “you”, started to sound kind of disrespectful. “Thou” fell out of use. When this happened, men flipped out.

They published papers about how society was

going to crumble because of this. For example, in 1660, George Fox wrote a whole book labeling anyone who used singular you an idiot or a fool.

Sounds familiar? But you probably didn’t even know you were already using a plural pronoun “grammatically incorrect”. It has been so long that we all forgot about it.

So, maybe the new rule from 2021 onwards should be that if you can’t bring yourself to use the singular they/them, you don’t get to use the singular you either. Use thou. You want it all to be “grammatically correct”, right? Either that, or perhaps, just a suggestion: get over it. Languages are in a constant state of development and change.

Your children won’t even remember. And, frankly, even if it was grammatically incorrect (which it is not), which one is more important: being grammatically correct or respecting another human being?

9

@oritakeikou Illustration:

I

Become a successful plant parent!

Britte Geertsma . . .

think we can pretty much all agree that plants are the perfect way to make a living space feel more alive. Especially now that we’re in a lockdown, it’s important to make our spaces feel as comfy and cozy as possible. For me personally, my plant babies really did the trick! Though, at first I didn’t consider myself a good plant mom at all. I managed to let my succulents die, which don’t really need that much care.

Quite an achievement, if I say so myself. But right now, my room is full of plants and they’re thriving. Here’s how to up your plant care skills.

Obviously, your babies will need water and sunlight. However, how much water and sunlight differs per plant. The first step is to figure that out. Usually, when you purchase a new plant, somewhere on the packaging, it will say how much of both it needs. And if not, there is the holy savior: the Internet. The packaging will most definitely say the name of your new plant, you just have to type it in the search bar and BAM! There you go! I promise, you’ll know the amount of water and light it needs in no time.

If you’ve bought a plant and you have no clue what it’s called or how to take care of it, just figure it out as you go. This is how I went about it. I just put my plants where I thought they would do best. Then, when I started doubting if I had made the right decision (if the plants started to ‘de-thrive’), I would move them around and see if they would get better in their new locations. The same goes for watering them. I started by watering them once a week. For some, this was enough, for others it wasn’t, and for some, it was too much. Every now and then, you check if the earth is still moist. If it is, you’re good and they don’t need more water for now. If there is a layer of water on top of the earth, you have to give your buddy a rest and drain the water. We don’t want it to drown after all. If the earth is dry, you have to give them some more water.

Just as important, if not more: show your plants some love. I refer to them as my babies because, essentially, they are babies. They depend on you to feed and love them. Research has been done to find out if talking or singing to plants stimulates their growth. The results, however, remain inconclusive. A friend of mine advised me to sing Nederwiet by Doe Maar to my plant collection because it’s supposed to help. I haven’t given it a shot yet, but if you do, please share the results with me! Personally, I don’t believe talking or singing will make an astonishing difference, but I do feel like it might benefit them a little. Feel free to do whatever you want. Just remember: showing a little extra love never hurt nobody!

ATTENTION! When you think your plant is dead, but the leaves are still green, do not – I repeat – do not throw it out immediately. Fill a bowl with water and put the plant in. Your baby might just revive like mine did a few weeks ago! It’s like magic. (Shoutout to my roomie Siene Verbeek for saving my – what I assumed to be dead – plant by sharing this golden tip with me.)

10

Self Love Paula Werdnik . . .

In a Society that Profits from your Self-Doubt, Liking Yourself is a Rebellious Act. Lately, it seems like the term ‘self love’ is being used more and more. We see the term thrown around on Instagram, in blog posts, articles, Youtube videos or Spotify podcasts. But what does it actually mean?

I think the term can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. To me, self love is inherently linked to self care. On some Instagram posts, you see people saying things like “self care is more than just putting on a face mask.”

But it can be a starting point.

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, self-love is just that, love of self. An appreciation of one’s own worth.

In an article by Psychology Today titled “Self Love”, Sarah-Len Mutiwasekwa states we often look externally for love and happiness.

Yet, everything externally is rooted in our relationship to ourselves. Self love may sound flowery but the article argues it is about looking inward and reflecting on your habits and patterns, even if it’s uncomfortable. This can help you gain self awareness. It is about challenging society’s expectations or your own negative beliefs in order to work on your self-worth. You can commit to self-care by taking care of your physical, emotional and mental well-being.

To me, we live in a world that is increasingly fast-paced and commercial and taking time for ourselves is a radical act of self-love. Explicitly or implicitly, we’re bombarded with pressure to be ‘desirable’, to be productive, to own certain things or achieve goals as though life were a checklist. We are pressured to adhere to capitalistic work mindsets and eurocentric (and often unrealistic) beauty standards. To take time to slow down or to love our natural selves unconditionally can be hard. How can we actually do that?

A few suggestions: Spend time in nature Especially during corona, it’s easy to feel cramped in your living space or to be on your laptop even more than usual. Take conscious breaks and get grounded in nature.

Be mindful of social media Try to be mindful of the accounts you follow and if they make you feel good or not. Instagram has progressed into a place of information.

Sometimes, it can make info much more accessible and normalize previously stigmatized issues. If you have social media, try following accounts that make you feel good and offer you useful information. Being cautious of how much time you spend on social media is helpful too. (It’s a slippery slope being sucked into the internet void and realizing hours have passed with you scrolling through cat memes.)

P.S - Make sure you’re also surrounding yourself with people and things that give you good vibes IRL too.

Take time for yourself It’s easy to always be ‘doing’ but try to take time to just ‘be’ every now and then. Make time for yourself to spend doing things you like, not only what you have to do. Like cooking a favourite dish, spending time with a friend, relaxing, or making time for a hobby you’re passionate about. Do it and don’t feel guilty. Plan it into your schedule if you have to.

Try being reflective Try meditating or journaling. By reflecting on where you’re at and what you want you can get clarity and move forward with intention.

It can also help to write down or say mantras for positivity out loud. You can use crystals to enhance your intentions.

11

How to heal with low energy?

Breathe!

Daniela Piangiolino Disclaimer: My knowledge about yoga and chakras is self-taught and still budding, so forgive me if something is not accurate! I hope you’ll still enjoy my personal experience!

I

don’t know about you, but I’ve always had problems with low energy and fatigue. I tend to be constantly tired and sleepy, although I have a (relatively) regular sleeping schedule, and the lockdown surely didn’t help me find the right motivation to fight against this kind of narcolepsy. The internet is full of tips about it, which mostly revolve around drinking more water, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly, that, of course, are undoubtable. However, I discovered a new light since I have started to learn how to relax and be fully aware of my body. Last April, I started my (almost) daily journey with Yoga with Adriene, a wonderful YouTube community worldwide. With Adriene, I learned that there are many types of fatigue and, basically, all of the consequences of fatigue or stress are due to the unbalancing of our body and mind, especially of the First Chakra (the Root, the foundation) and the Second Chakra, (the Base, where the energy flows). When we feel good in our bodies, when we feel good about ourselves on the mat, the way we experience our life off the mat and with others can shift drastically. Every month, Adriene publishes a monthly calendar on her Yoga with Adriene website, in which she links a specific yoga practice for that day. Also, it’s been a few years since every January she undertakes a daily yoga journey with her community, revolving around a theme. January 2021 revolved around Breath. “Breath” really helped me to stop, take the role of the observer, and anchor into my body, finding energy from within. I have started to embrace, in a way, my stress and fatigue, bringing them on the mat with me and releasing them through my breath. Whenever I am tired or stressed, I carve out some time (even just 10 minutes!) to step on the mat and give my busy mind a break, using my breath to engine a healthy flow and connect with the foundation of my body. When it’s sunny, it’s wonderful to drag my sleepy body outside and discover I can actually replenish the energy in my body and mind just by moving under the warm sun. So, even if you’ve never tried yoga before (or perhaps you feel skeptical about it), or you’re not exactly athletic (like me), just give it a try! You’ll discover how fabulous it is to explore yourself and expand your love in every inch of your body!

And like Adriene says: from my heart to yours, Daniela

12

Anonymous, Prolix, Unfathomable Present Short Story Continuation Charly Hermanns

M

addie’s face showed utter confusion. She looked at her mum with disbelief. How should she understand what her mother had just told her? The painting and her pain were related? This was just

outrageous. But so was everything that had happened the last few days. And, as if her body wanted to remind her of this, her ribs began to hurt again. The sharp pain caused Maddie to hold her breath and clench her arms around herself. Her mother’s face changed again. This time the fear was horror. As Maddie felt the pain again, she saw her mother reach out to her and, with a thud as Maddie hit the floor, everything faded into black.

Maddie woke up surrounded by her family and multiple monitors. Strange sounds came from the machines around her. Her family was in a heated discussion. Her mom and dad were arguing about something she couldn’t clearly understand, but it was certain that this argument had been going on for a while. Jayden looked at Maddie as she grabbed his hand and shouted: “Guys she’s up! Stop arguing, she’s fine!” Immediately, all eyes were fixed on Maddie and the worried faces of her parents came as a shock to her. Her dad had puffy eyes as if he had been crying for several days.

“Oh Maddie, honey! I am so sorry! I should have listened to your mother. Are you feeling alright hon?” her dad asked, worrying and loving. The protector and carer she loved so much. “Look at her, she’s all pale and scared. Maybe we should go tell the doctors that she is awake?” her dad told her mom, who agreed. With a quick, shaky smile directed to Maddie, her mom left the room to go search for a doctor.

“Where am I? What’s wrong? You guys! Stop looking so worried! I’m fine! Just a little tired from school.”

“Yeah, as if Maddie! You don’t get a pneumothorax from being exhausted. What kind of world do you live in? Don’t play stupid! Oh, and for your information, you are in a hospital, sis. Maybe they should check her brain as well. I mean how much more obvious can it be Dad??”

Oh, wow, there he goes again , Maddie thought, big bro always looking for an opportunity to make me look stupid. And what the hell was a pneumothorax? I remember this word. Wasn’t there a Grey’s Anatomy episode with someone being rushed into the ER with a pneumowhattheheck? Think, Maddie, think!

Clearly, her face once again betrayed her by giving away the thought process, because Jayden squeezed her hand and began to laugh with his iconic little snort.

“Sis, it means that one of your ribs punctured your lung. You must have fallen off of something or, at least, got hit by, I don’t know, a truck maybe?”

What a show-off! Always using the fancy terms. But when he mentioned the ribs, Maddie remembered the strange conversation with her mom about the painting. What did she mean by that? How was Grandma’s painting the reason for her pain?

Just then, her mom, followed by two doctors, entered the room. Both looked at her with a strange expression.

What is wrong with me? Can they help me? Instead of asking those questions out loud, Maddie tried to push herself up. But as soon as she tried to move, one of them said vigorously: “I wouldn’t do this, young lady. It can be very dangerous to sit up with the injuries you have. Plus, you won’t be able to sit, so please don’t even try!”

As if she had just challenged Maddie, she pushed herself up, sitting and staring at the doctor, whose face was the perfect depiction of a shock, stress and fear combined. “But how is that possible? You.. this… how?!”

“What do you mean? I can sit just like every other healthy human being can.” Maddie was confused.

Something was not right here.

“How can you sit and talk to me? You must have exhilarating pains, your lung is punctured, you have multiple fractions and you just woke up after being out for two days?” Wait what? What was going on here?

Maddie was even more confused now than she was a couple of moments before the doctors entered the room…

13

Colour Yo

14

our Stress Away!

15

Can I Hug You? Daniela Piangiolino

H

ow I love hugs! Since I was a kid, hugs have been the main way for me to greet people, show them affection, comfort them, or just something to do while chilling. Some of my relationships are centred on physical affection and they would just feel incomplete without it. We know how all that changed from March 2020. In the first period, physical distancing was painful. I went for almost a whole month without seeing anyone, and I noticed how I missed every single touch with my friends. It was the first time in my life I had experienced loneliness and sadness, until one of my best friends, living in Nijmegen at that time, offered me to stay over at their place more often, so that we could share our spaces without worrying about Corona. During the weeks spent at their place, I had the opportunity to focus on our friendship, isolating myself from the rest of the world, discovering a new kind of affection, which is not only bound to the body, but also in the words, in the small gestures, in giving company to each other. After many months of being physically and mentally distant, the few months spent together gave a new layer to our friendship, creating a level of affection I never thought there was.

When I went home in Italy for the summer, it wasn’t easy to keep the distance from my best friends - and we didn’t always manage to do so - but in a way, asking for consent to hug someone, that would usually hug you first, added, in my opinion, a new level of intimacy between people.

Hugging meant trusting, hugging meant risking, hugging meant truly loving.

The new academic year brought even more “distant” love than expected. Meeting KNUSsers online on a daily basis became normal, and online activities started warming my heart in an unexpected way. Once a week, I would meet some of my closest friends in person, and that became the happiest moment of the week, making me realise again how many forms affection can take.

I took the picture above when we celebrated one of my friends’ birthday at the Ooijpolder, being careful of keeping the physical distance as much as we could, but still having a lot of fun together.

Of course, I still miss hugging more than anything, but exploring new ways of showing affection revealed the depth of this feeling and made me cherish every single moment of closeness that I have with my friends and my family. Touching, holding hands, hugging, and kissing became a privilege that proved its immense value now more than ever.

16

Creamy Mushroom Pasta Creamy, easy and cheap! This mushroom pasta will make you forget all your worries and give a kickstart to the return of your happiness.

Shanna de Caluwé

Ingredients (for 2 servings):

NEW MENU

•

1 shallot

•

White mushrooms (250 grams)

•

Cream (250 mL, I prefer the Blue Band Kookroom 15% Vet)

•

Vegetable stock cube (half)

•

Parmesan cheese

•

Salt and black pepper

•

Olive oil

•

Pasta (Penne, rigatoni or fusilli)

STEPS:

1. Put on a pan of water, generously salt it, and bring it to a boil.

2. Add your pasta as soon as the water is boiling. Prepare your sauce while the pasta is cooking.

3. Mince your shallot and cut your mushrooms into relatively thin slices.

4. Heat some olive oil in a pan and add your shallot and mushrooms 5. When the shallot and mushrooms have some colour on them, generously add your black pepper and your salt to taste.

6. Crumble half of the vegetable stock cube onto everything and stir for a while.

7. Add your cream, bring it to a slight simmer and stir well.

8. When your pasta is nearly finished cooking, add a generous amount of parmesan to the sauce.

9. Drain your pasta and stir it in with your sauce.

10. Lastly, add some more parmesan on top and enjoy!

17

Poem for the new year Paula Werdnik The dying embers of a year The remains of dreams Blurring now and perhaps less clear The

end

of

the

line.

A weighty pause.

Half formed wishes Blooming On tentative tongues.

To be spoken softly To the stars This is how the year ends

Not with a

bang

But with a

whisper.

Art: Aya Takano

31.12.2020

18

comic:

@niscien

Friends of KNUS: Marcel van den Haak

www. studieverenigingknus.nl