Sisters Country Weddings - 2008

2008

Sisters Country

Weddings

Love endures for

Sisters couples Get the most for your wedding dollar

Venues

for every taste and budget

2

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Love endures for Sisters couples

By Jim Cornelius

A

ll the wedding planning — the perfect dress, the custom rings, the carefully crafted personal ceremony — serve one purpose: to launch a successful and happy marriage.

Two Sisters area couples who have been together for more than 50 years spoke with The Nugget about the long road that follows from the magical wedding day.

Bill and Carol Griffin “We met in high school,” Carol recalled. “He was a senior, and I was a sophomore.

In those days, that was the way it worked. We got married right out of high school.”

But that didn’t mean they settled down — at least not in the conventional sense.

Bill was a professional baseball player, a left-handed pitcher who signed in 1955 with the Portland Beavers, part of the St. Louis Cardinals farm organization. For most of a decade Bill played for a variety of teams across the United States — and Carol went with him.

They finally ended up for one season in Japan, where American players were in demand as the Japanese turned their passion for the American national pastime into a viable program of their own.

“It was really interesting,” Bill said. “That was their major leagues, but in classification compared to the States it would have been like an AA team.”

A maximum of three Americans were allowed on each team.

Carol & Bill Griffin

“ They were learning the game then,” Bill said.

Figuring he had gone as far as he could with baseball, Bill quit the diamond in 1962, and the couple really did settle down, with Bill taking a job at McCall Oil where he had often worked during the off-season.

“He said, ‘I’m done,’ and I was really upset, because I missed spring training,” Carol said.

The couple moved from their hometown of Richland, Washington to Portland where they would stay for the next three decades and more. The couple had their first child in 1964, with another son to follow.

Bill developed a career at McCall Oil where he quickly moved into management.

“He worked for them for 42 years and never missed a day of work,” Carol said.

Carol was also a career woman. She started her working life employed at General Electric at the Hanford nuclear

reservation, then worked as an executive secretary before going into business for herself.

“I went into business for myself for about seven years,” she said. “I had a figure salon in Portland.”

She closed her working career as a catering manager for

“In those days, you just stayed married,” Carol said. “If you had any problems, you worked them out.” a major hotel.

The couple, who had been vacationing at Black Butte Ranch for years, moved to Sisters in 1998. Bill coached Outlaws pitchers for a season and the couple fell right into the rodeo and horse riding culture of the area.

The couple never expected anything other than a long and successful marriage _ it was

Sisters Country Weddings

2

©2008 Sisters Country Weddings.

All rights reserved.

The Nugget Newspaper, Inc.

Love endures for Sisters couples

Continued on page 18

4

Get the most for your wedding dollar

5 A venue for every

14 Custom rings are an

taste and budget

spa day

expression of love

8 Proper etiquette is

15 Off to the honeymoon!

16 Sisters’ winning

9 Wedding boot camp

17 Dividing the spoils

Take your best shot

not a thing of the past

15

wedding

13 Indulge in a wedding

6 Wedding photography:

Off to the honeymoon!

12 Creating a non-traditional

4 Get the most for your wedding dollar

442 E. Main Ave. • P.O. Box 698 Sisters, Oregon 97759 541.549.9941 www.nuggetnews.com The contents of Sisters Country Weddings are copyright ©2008 by The Nugget Newspaper Inc and reproduction in whole or in part (including advertising) without written permission is prohibited. Sisters Country Weddings and The Nugget Newspaper, Inc. assumes no liability or responsibility for information contained in advertisements and all content within this publication.

and entrepreneurship were not that common for women.

“I suppose (Bill) being able to let me be me was a good thing,” Carol said.

Bill and Mickey Duehren Bill and Mickey Duehren met on a “semi-blind date” in college and spent a summer as a couple. Then, Bill decided to go back to the girl he’d been dating during the school year.

“That kind of pricked my pride, being put aside,” Mickey said.

She sent Bill a picture of them as a couple, and that gave Bill some second thoughts.

“And when the little gal came back, the spark wasn’t there anyway,” Mickey said.

The couple reunited and got married soon after college. A child followed 13 months later.

Fifty-one years later, they’re still together.

Unlike the Griffins, the Duehrens’ bond was not forged in years of travel together before the kids came along. Their marriage endured periods of separation where Bill was away from his wife and his children.

It started with a brief stint as a draftee in the Army, which ended early as Bill was regarded as having “essential skills” as an engineer in the private sector.

He started his career with General Electric’s medical services division, overseeing the development of pacemaker technologies.

“Implantable pacemakers were just starting to be used,” he said.

The industry was volatile, and afetr years working in Boston Bill went to work for another pacemaker manufacturer who transferred him to Minnesota.

Mickey didn’t want to leave Boston for Minnesota, nor did the couple want to pull their three teenaged children out of their established parochial schools, so Bill headed west, while Mickey stayed in Boston.

inside…

Published by, , ,

Publisher: Kiki Dolson Editor: Jim Cornelius Graphic Design: Leith Williver, Jess Draper & Chelsea Town Sales: Lisa Buckley Contributing Writers: Joseph Duerrmeyer Tia Duerrmeyer Carla Merrell

what was expected in their generation.

“In those days, you just stayed married,” Carol said.

“If you had any problems, you worked them out.”

Under the circumstances Carol had to learn to work things out in a hurry. The couple was married in November and off to spring training in March.

“I was way too far away from mom to come home if I got mad at him,” Carol said.

The years of travel together laid a strong foundation of respect and communication.

“It’s love and mutual respect,” Bill said. “She’s my best friend.

We do almost everything together. She can’t get rid of me.

And, I pretty much do what I’m told.”

Carol notes that Bill was always supportive of her endeavors, even in a day when career

engagement story of marriage

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Get the most for your wedding dollar

By Tia Duerrmeyer

A

fter the ring goes on the finger, reality quickly sets in. The happy couple has just committed to what likely will be the most expensive single day of their lives — most likely without a thought as to how they (or their parents) are going to pay for it.

Where does everyone go from here? The first and most important decision is agreeing on a budget for the “perfect day”— and committing to stick to it.

Next is the actual planning of the wedding. Hiring a wedding planner, also known as wedding consultant or a bridal consultant, is the answer for some; for others organizing the wedding themselves is a better alternative.

Balancing one’s time against the money available to spend is key in deciding which route to go, because time is money and planning a wedding can easily become a full-time job.

Surveys suggest that brides who plan their own weddings devote on the average 150 to 250 hours — that’s four- to six-full work weeks — to the organizing process. That time carries with it a lofty price tag, not to mention stress and frustration.

The cost of a full-service wedding planner can add up to some 15 to 20 percent or more of the wedding budget. She (or he) will do everything from presenting a wealth of creative ideas, to engaging the best vendors, to negotiating the best prices, to troubleshooting every possible glitch; beyond this the planner will hopefully reduce stress and ideally allow the bride and groom, as well as the whole wedding party, to be guests at their own wedding.

According to Erin Deggendorfer, owner of Sisters events management firm Fast Creek Productions, finding a middle ground between the time commitment

and stress of self-planning and the cost of a full-service wedding planner is often a workable and effective solution. Because wedding consultants tailor their services to the needs of the client, a bride (and groom) may pick and choose the specific services that best meet their needs.

One service that offers great value for the money spent is a consultation meeting. The bride meets with the consultant to explain her needs. The consultant in turn points the bride in the direction of the various vendors who are best suited to her particular circumstances. According to Deggendorfer, this service is a valuable time saver, as the bride is relieved from the responsibility of finding the vendors herself.

“To be able to narrow it down so you (the bride) aren’t spend-

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ing six to eight to 10 to 12 hours on the phone a week trying just to find somebody who will suit exactly what you are looking for is huge,” said Deggendorfer.

Whether choosing a full-time wedding planner or one who will help on an à la carte basis, precautions are prudent.

Choose a person with credentials and experience. Ask for a list of the professional organizations to which the consultant belongs, and verify online their viability.

One such organization is the Association of Bridal Consultants (www.bridalassn. com).

“They do national training…They have a code of ethics. If you hire someone accredited through this organization, the consultant is required to stand by their code of ethics,” said Deggendorfer.

For example, association members are required to notify their clients if they are receiving kickbacks from vendors, offering surety that clients’ interests are being protected.

Drop by the consultant’s business. Such a visit will tell a great deal about the individual’s professionalism. Ask to see the planner’s business license, and don’t be afraid to ask for references. Any wedding consultant with satisfied customers will be happy for you to contact them.

Next, ask yourself if you like the person. Compatibility is key to a positive experience.

“Number one (when choosing a wedding planner) is personality,” said Katie Piekarski, owner of the Bend events planning firm Posh.

“Listening to what the bride wants

and offering advice and etiquette and knowledge of how things flow based on what she wants is so important. It’s her wedding day.”

Finally, ask for a contract that outlines in detail the agreed services the planner will perform and the price to be charged. If the fees are too much, look for ways to compromise. If compromise is not an alternative, look for a different consultant or reconsider planning the wedding yourself.

For information about planning your own wedding visit these three sites : www.learnthat.com/ lifestyle/learn-184-inexpensive_ wedding.htm; www.ehow.com/ how_4631_pay-own-wedding. html; and www.theknot.com.

Additional self-planning resources are Tracy Leigh’s “How to Plan Your Own Wedding and Save Thousands: Without Going Crazy” and “Easy Wedding Planner” by Elizabeth and Alex Lluch.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

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A venue for every taste and budget

By Tia Duerrmeyer

S

o far no one has been married riding a Hummer or a pink Cadillac down Cascade Avenue. Sisters does not tout a little white wedding chapel or a Wayfarer’s glass chapel, but with its breathtaking mountain backdrop, the rushing waters of the Metolius River and Whychus Creek and its Western theme, Sisters Country is gaining a reputation as a romantic and intimate wedding destination.

Only a couple of weeks ago a California couple transformed the FivePine Conference Center into their perfect wedding setting.

FivePine is one of several facilities in the Sisters area — The Lodge at Suttle Lake, Black Butte Ranch and Lake Creek Lodge are others — that offer not only wedding and/or reception venues but also lodging facilities for the bride and groom, the wedding party and even guests.

Sisters’ facilities are somewhat unique in their ability to turn their entire complexes over to a wedding party.

“We’re small enough that

people have rented out the whole complex (32 cottage and lodge rooms) for an inclusive little wedding village,” said FivePine events manager Kendra Littrell. Suttle Lake offers the same booking opportunity with 24 different accommodation sites.

Black Butte Ranch, through its rental pool and those of Sisters Realtors Ponderosa Properties, LLC (www. ponderosaproperties.com) and R.A. (Dick) Howells Co. (www.blackbutte.com) offers condominiums and private homes with almost unlimited lodging possibilities.

When it comes to the number of wedding guests, FivePine can manage about 240, whereas Suttle Lake prefers a maximum of around 200. Black Butte Ranch is comfortable with 150 or less.

Alder Creek Ranch, an outdoor venue with a 14-acre lake and a four-acre maintained grassy area, is suitable for 500 or more. And the new lodge at Aspen Lakes

Golf Course can accommodate in the neighborhood of 200 guests for a wedding and reception. A tent can also be erected on the driving range for larger groups up to 500 or more.

At both The Lodge at Suttle

The Gardens and Flying Diamond Ranch provides an idyllic setting for nuptials.

“It’s like a little oasis back here,” said Kelly Brown.

Brown creates a relaxing and lovely ambience through careful landscaping and skillful use of decorations.

“For me it’s like setting the stage... trying to create a little picture-perfect setting for them,” Brown said.

A little further afield, near Pronghorn in Bend lies Rocking B Ranch, the home of Canyon Creek Catering.

The 10-acre horse ranch with Cascade views is a wonderful rustic setting for a wedding and reception, with all the amenities needed for a first-class party.

In May, a new ranch venue will become available at Ghost Rock Ranch in southern Deschutes County.

For those who prefer a traditional church setting Camp Sherman’s Chapel in the Pines is perfect. The tiny, historic church

Sisters Country is gaining a reputation as a romantic and intimate wedding destination.

Lake and Alder Creek Ranch the ceremony can be sited over the water. For those with a wild Western spirit, Cascade View Celebrations offers a nineacre ranch complete with a Wild West town for horseback weddings.

“We have the ability to do a Wild West wedding, said proprietor Kay Bower. “We have a theatrical company that we work with that’s out of Redmond.”

You can bring your own horses or borrow a pair.

nestled in the giant ponderosas “is for those who want a small and comfortable wedding,” said Pastor Ed Beacham. Couples may use their own pastor or one provided by the chapel.

Sisters’ city parks and sites on the Metolius River and Whychus Creek offer beautiful, serene settings that are very affordable. In some instances the wedding party may simply show up to use these venues. In others permits are required.

“If it is a large event (50 people or more), you do need to let the city know in advance,” said city recorder Kathy Nelson.

“The reason people reserve (Sisters city parks) is because the city will make sure that it is freshly mowed and that the sprinklers aren’t going to come on in the middle of your ceremony,” she added.

For information contact Nelson by telephone at 541-3235213 or by e-mail at knelson@ ci.sisters.or.us.

Contact Deschutes or Jefferson counties for usage and permit information about public sites located within their jurisdictions.

541-549-8198 • 401 E. Main Ave. Corner of Larch & Main www.threesistersfloral.com

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Wedding photography: Take your best shot

G

reat wedding photography doesn’t just happen.

You need to know what you want. Sounds simple and obvious, yet this overriding mission is often overlooked. Here’s some information to consider in getting the most out of your wedding photography, because you don’t get a second chance for great wedding photos.

• Budget: This is truly the best place to start once you’ve picked each other! Figure out what your overall wedding budget is and combine that with all the other photography components (photographer, style and planning) and soon you’ll know what you can do in this area.

Good wedding photography takes hours of postprocessing, which translates to cost — but it’s worth the price. The average weddings photographed by Elegant Images are within a $3,000 to $5,500 range. If you step into a verdant meadow with the snowcapped Three Sisters as your background, surrounded by only your immediate family, you may be able to do it all under $1,000.

Sisters photographer Lynn Woodward of Woodward Creative says, “It’s easy to consider an amateur photographer when you see the price of professionals — but don’t.”

Your wedding photography will grow more priceless as the years go by, so get what you want.

Formal portraits are a creative way to stretch your photography dollars. These can be taken before or after your wedding day and all with no stress. Let your friends photograph the ceremony/reception while getting quality professional portraits of the bridal couple.

“Studio portraits are fantastic in eliminating the uncontrollable,” Woodward said.

Louie Law of Elegant IMages Photography concurs.

“If you’re going to miss something, miss the overly imbibed guests, the stress, the bad moods,” advises Law. Consider cutting other expenditures. Think of where all the printed napkins, catered meals, open bars will end up within 24 hours, and think about what you will still have in 10-20 years. Cut other expenses and enrich your photography budget.

Register for wedding photography. Today’s couples register for exotic honeymoons and real estate. It’s no different for photography.

“When you register for wedding photography, family and friends can purchase a page(s) and know they’ve contributed towards a wedding gift that will last a lifetime,” said Law. The Photographer: You’ll be spending a lot of time with this person; make sure you can work with their personality.

When interviewing potential photographers ask to see their portfolios. Do they do the style of photography you want? Don’t rely on terms like “artsy.” Check it out yourself.

Do you feel they’ll work well with others involved in your wedding including clergy, videogra-

photo courtesy Elegant Images Photography

By Carla Merrell

pher, wedding planner, etc.?

Style: Make it uniquely your own. You can get shots in a classic, posed style or go for a photojournalism approach that tells a story with more natural, spontaneous, artistic expression. Its all up to you.

Ask others couples what they

liked and didn’t like about their photography, and look at lots of wedding albums.

Planning: Above all, enjoy your own wedding! You can schedule photos before the ceremony, between ceremony and

reception, or before or after your wedding day. Figure out what works best for you.

“The best photos are when time is set aside to ensure the conditions are right — no rush and no stress!” Woodward said.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Proper etiquette is not a thing of the past

By Tia Duerrmeyer

A

lthough etiquette may not be as stringent as in years gone by, not all standards went out with top hats and corsets. There are still no-nos for both the bride and groom and their guests when it comes to what is and what is not acceptable wedding etiquette.

On the bride and groom’s side of the coin, certain taboos about invitation verbiage are absolute.

“For a wedding, people traditionally bring gifts, so it’s not appropriate to write on the invitation where you (the bride and groom) are registered or to put any registry information on the invitation,” said Erin Deggendorfer, owner of Fast Creek Productions, a Sisters events planning firm.

She once received an invitation that asked for cash rather than gifts, a request she found “totally tacky, totally inappropriate.”

Inviting a person only as a means of receiving a gift is also in poor taste. Wedding guest lists should be composed of people who the couple — not their relatives — want to attend, as allowed by their budget.

“If the bride and groom are inviting people just to get gifts, that’s not appropriate,” said Deggendorfer.

As a rule of thumb, all guests should have a personal connection with the couple.

Potentially tasteless and embarrassing situations can be avoided before the wedding through trouble sho oti ng.

Divorced parents or Aunt Jane and Uncle Billy who simply do not get along need to be reminded in advance that the day is for the bride and groom and not about them. They must set their differences aside.

“It’s important to communicate (with such people) beforehand and not just the day before the wedding,” said Deggendorfer.

According to Katie Piekarski, owner of the Bend events planning firm Posh, gaining agreement from such people to not create a scene is “kind of an art form.”

Piekarski likes to go beyond just asking people to behave. She suggests practical assurances such

as seating estranged guests in separate pews during the wedding and at different tables during the

reception.

“You do it in a nice, respectful way so they don’t know they are being separated,” she said.

Advance thought should also be given to dealing with guests who may drink too much.

“It is the bartender’s job to monitor people’s alcohol intake,” said Piekarski.

Bartenders should be notified in advance of those who may over indulge. Deggendorfer agrees that bartenders should be tasked with monitoring guests’ alcohol intake and given permission to skim drinks and/or cut off heavy drinkers altogether. Another alternative, according to Deggendorfer, is an alcohol-free reception.

Piekarski suggests having a limo or taxi available when people leave the venue for those who have had too much to drink.

For guests, five cardinal rules apply.

Invitees must always remember that an invitation is only intended for the person or persons named.

If an invitation is addressed to“Mr. and Mrs. Soandso,” it is intended only for the couple, not their children. If an invitation is

addressed to “Mr. Whoever,” he is the only person invited; if it is appropriate for him to bring a guest, the invitation will be addressed to “Mr. Whoever and Guest.”

Wedding invitations require a prompt response. Knowing how many invitees will attend is critical to the planning process, and failing to respond is rude.

Wedding punctuality is mandatory. It is improper to be too early and never acceptable to be late. The rule is absolute: if the church doors are closed, do not enter.

The tried and true rule of offering the bride “best wishes” and the groom “congratulations” has not changed. The groom is the one who is lucky to have snagged the bride, and he should be congratulated — never the bride.

Dress appropriately for the formality of the wedding. If proper attire is not obvious from the invitation, ask a friend, a family member, the bride or groom or even the wedding planner. Taking the time to ask will not only save you but also the wedding party considerable embarrassment.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Wedding boot camp

By Jim Cornelius

H

e asked and she said yes. Now there’s a million things to do: book the site; design a ceremony, find a photographer; choose the dress...

And get into shape to fit into that dress.

Everybody wants to look their best for their wedding day. Sisters trainers offer some dos and don’ts for your wedding boot camp.

• Set realistic expectations.

If you couldn’t fit into a size 6 in high school, don’t expect to be able to do it now. Guys, if you bear more resemblance to Jack Black than to Lance Armstrong, you’re probably not going to be able to get into Tour d’France shape before the honeymoon.

Set goals that you can expect to meet with a sustainable level of commitment.

Remember, you are going to be very busy. You probably can’t make it to the gym six days a week, but you can make it three days.

Your goal should be to look and feel as good as you can before the wedding and to sustain your good health and fitness into your marriage.

• Don’t crash diet. There’s a huge temptation to try to get extra pounds off as fast as possible, but extreme dieting is not the solution.

“That’s the worst thing you can do,” said Jesse McFarland, a strength and conditioning trainer at Sisters Athletic Club. “It’s never healthy to lose weight too fast.”

Sue Coxen of Cascade Fitness explains why.

“What they’re doing is shutting down their metabolism,” she said.

“You have to eat to lose weight.

(People) don’t understand that.”

The key is eating right. Ask your trainer to help you design a diet plan that includes the right foods in the right amounts — and one that works with your busy pre-wedding schedule.

• Give yourself time. If you need to drop 10 to 20 pounds to look and feel your best on your wedding day, you’re going to have to give yourself time.

“If their wedding is six months out, we can probably do a lot of what they want,” Coxen said.

“Even six months is kind of

rapid,” said McFarland.

If you’re just getting started with a fitness program or coming back after a long layoff, you’ll need some time to get a base layer of fitness established so you can work up to more intense workouts safely.

If your wedding date is a year

cardiovascular workouts.

“It’s kind of like circuit training,” he said. “You just go from one exercise to another with very little rest time. The main thing is, you’re burning a lot of calories; your heart rate is up. You’re doing strength training, so you’re building lean body mass.”

Coxen combines weights and cardio with an eating plan — and she advises her clients to stay away from the scale. Losing inches is more important than droppng pounds.

“They’ve got to trust their trainer,” she said.

“Forget the scale; let’s look at the tape.”

The bride is often more “trainable” than the groom. Women are willing to do circuit training, while McFarland says “it’s really hard to get men to do that kind of stuff.”

Men often want to focus on the “glamour muscles,” doing bench presses and curls to build chest and biceps.

McFarland has bad news for guys who think that’s going to make them look good naked: “Overall body change? Not much at all. If they had a beer belly when they started it, they’ll have a beer belly when they’re done.”

Work with a trainer. A good trainer will help you get the most out of your precious workout time. He or she can help you work smart as well as hard, and a commitment to a trainer can keep you motivated when all you want to do is go home and flop down on the couch.

If you are new to the gym, a trainer can make sure you stay safe and injury free.

The benefits of getting in shape can last well beyond looking radiant on your wedding day.

A newfound dedication to keeping fit and eating right will serve you well way past the honeymoon and through a long, healthy and happy marriage.

They’ve got to trust their trainer. Forget the scale; let’s look at the tape. away, hit the gym now — and stick with it.

“The main thing is their commitment,” said Coxen. “The gym is only as good as your dedication.”

Work out efficiently. Time is at a premium as you organize all the details of the big event, so you need to make the most out of your gym time. That means hours on a treadmill or stairclimber just won’t cut it.

McFarland likes to combine strength training and

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

J O h

A i f C b a s B w a w

C

ing. r e t a C n Canyo r a g u o BQ ring C e B d t i s s e n n o c fi e ver y ou for y h t k g n n i a r h e T off r vice e n s i t s s e e v h l g e the hi e ours d h i t r i p w e d e W uild in b b o m t o c d r n a l Orego orked h a r w t n e e v ’ e C in d our y. W r n t o s y u e d b n i d n oss a in the r c s a d r s a e d h c n next sta rea r t u a o h y t r n e t o to ca utati p e e r r u s g a n e o l r p r here u a st o n o e i b t i d d l a Q tr It wou B .

B y t l i o n o u h ld Sc comm can O e e w h o t s e l l u e a ca contin m d e n v a i g t n e eve Pleas . n o g e you. r r O o f l a u r n t e n in Ce rfect m e p e h t yB e m z i m i m J o t , s y cu Sincerel

Our Mission at Cougar Canyon Every generation of the Brundage Family takes pride in

Rocking B Ranch, or we’ll come to you with our fully mobile

being the best in their chosen field. Success for Jimmy B is

operation.

cooking an outstanding meal for clients, family and friends.

Our goal is to exceed our clients’ expectations. When you

Cougar Canyon’s mission is giving our clients the very best

book your event with Cougar Canyon Catering, you can be

value and service for their buck. The best advertising is

assured you’re working with professionals who care about

word of mouth and our clients rave about our food long

you and your guests. No party is too big or too small.

after they’ve tasted our BBQ.

We will customize a menu to fit your needs, all the while

You can book your event with us, at our home base, The

providing the finest quality food and service.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Our BBQ

Jimmy B invites you to experience the best BBQ in Central Oregon. His passion for cooking and entertaining is evident in his hospitality and level of customer service.

host your event at the Ranch or travel to your location. With a fully mobile operation, Jimmy B and the gang will make you feel like guests at your own party.

After traveling the world and eating BBQ wherever he could find it, Jimmy B of Cougar Canyon Catering has developed recipes for the ultimate mouth-watering, smoky, earthy BBQ experience.

Cougar Canyon’s locally grown pigs are seasoned with juniper berries, a secret blend of spices and then roasted for hours in a custom built Dutch Oven BBQ box. The pork is moist and succulent. This, served with Jimmy B’s Award-Winning BBQ Beans, fresh grilled, seasonal vegetables and homemade desserts will transport you to a time when families sat down on Sunday afternoons to visit and laugh and indulge in food that you knew would keep you at the table for hours.

Besides BBQ, Cougar Canyon Catering also offers a full line of hors d’oeuvres and entrées, including Caramelized Brie with Northwest Pears and Candied Hazelnuts and Grilled Wild Salmon with Huckleberry Compote. These are just a selection of our numerous menu items.

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When deciding what to pair with your meal, Cougar Canyon Catering will match your dining experience with the best wines, cocktails, and beers of choice. Cougar Canyon’s full bar service staff is knowledgeable and friendly. They can design a signature drink for any event and be ready to assist in tastings.

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11

12

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Creating a nontraditional wedding

By Jim Cornelius

M

ore and more couples are opting for nontraditional weddings — so many, in fact, that the terms “traditional,” “nontraditional” and “alternative” are losing their meaning.

“This is becoming the new traditional way,” said Rev. Sana Hayes, a Sisters interfaith minister.

Hayes notes that couples today meet across divides of geography, social status, culture and religion. As an interfaith minister it is Hayes’ role to bring together people of differing faiths and unite families across divergent cultures.

Some couples are simply looking for acceptance that they cannot find in orthodox traditions. Perhaps they have been cohabitating or have a child out of wedlock or are marrying after divorce. Some churches will not marry couples under such circumstances.

“They’re looking for the nonjudgement (instead of ) what’s happened before they called me,” Hayes said. “The traditional church has rules, and they’re not finding the variability that they need.”

Often couples approach nontraditional weddings looking for ways to integrate their own religious traditions with other elements that resonate with them.

“They want to bring in elements of other cultures, not necessarily the culture they are born in,” said minister Terri Daniel.

According to Daniel, Native American and Celtic cultural references are quite popular among those seeking to reference “oneness” and “spirit” without overt religious content.

Alternative approaches can incorporate nontraditional clothing, locations in wilderness

areas and different organizations of wedding parties. Many nontraditional ceremonies are crafted to incorporate children, weaving together mixed families.

This can include the exchange of tokens among family members in addition to the traditional exchange of rings.

Such approaches don’t imply a lack of respect for tradition and ceremony — quite the contrary. According to Sisters’ nontraditional ministers, an alternative approach enables couples to utilize traditions and ceremony in a way that has deeper meaning for them than simple rote actions.

“Every action that’s done in a ceremony has meaning,” Daniel said. Modifications to traditions “make those meanings more relevant for them in modern life, creating a symbolism that speaks to them.”

Nontraditional ministers seek to get couples to examine their symbolic and ceremonial choices to make sure the ceremonies they create really do bring meaning — whether it’s the Jewish tradition of breaking a glass or a Native American calling of the four directions.

It is critical for couples who choose nontraditional weddings to be comfortable with their symbolic choices.

“It’s their wedding,” said Unitarian minister Karly Lusby. “I am here to help create that for them.”

Lusby says that couples should be open to including elements in their ceremony that honor and respect family beliefs and traditions — but only as far as they are truly comfortable. Placating an intense relative may smooth things over in the short term, but in the long run it’s not worth it if the

Karly Drake-Lusby Kar

Non-Denominational Minister Non-D

compromise betrays a couple’s own beliefs and desires.

“If you did something in your wedding that you really didn’t want to do, it’s going to bug you your whole life,” Lusby said.

Hayes finds that the actual experience of an alternative ceremony is much better for concerned family members than they expect. Sometimes they express relief and a surprised sense that the alternative approach turned out to be unexpectedly beautiful and meaningful.

“They’re just expressing that it was way better than they thought it was going to be,” she said.

Discomfort among some family members is the biggest pitfall of nontraditional weddings, especially for younger couples. Other pitfalls are those that can affect any event: bad weather, mix-ups on food, drink, flowers.

Lusby notes that since many nontraditional ceremonies are set outdoors, it’s important not to set yourself up for negative symbolism — like the wind (God?) blowing out the couple’s candles.

“If you’re superstitious, don’t light candles outside,” she quipped.

All three ministers emphasize the importance of focusing on the true purpose of the day.

For Daniel, the worst pitfall is “freaking out about pitfalls instead of allowing them to happen.” Often, glitches turn out to be funny stories that add to the glow of the day.

Hayes reminds couples to focus on each other and their marriage, not just their wedding.

“Whatever happens, at they end of the day, they’re married,” she said.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

13

Indulge in a wedding spa day

By Tia Duerrmeyer

I

magine yourself being totally pampered. It is your wedding day. In concert, one technician is deep cleansing and massaging your face while another is performing reflexology on your feet, legs and hands. The tension and anxiety of all the days of planning have melted away. You are totally relaxed. A blissful sense of well-being wells up within.

Whether you are alone or your groom is by your side receiving a fourhanded massage or you are surrounded by your bridesmaids and/or your mother and the mother of the groom, pre-weddingday and wedding-day spa treatments work wonders to reduce stress.

They help to prepare their recipients both mentally and physically for the special day that lies ahead and offer positive “bonding” experiences.

Simply put, they are very enjoyable. “ These treatments make such a difference,” said Tammy Patterson, spa director at The Lodge at Suttle Lake, one of three fullservice spa facilities in Sisters Country. Shibui and Black Butte Ranch are the other two.

All three facilities pride themselves in organizing spa parties that are tailored to the budget, lifestyle and desires of the client. “We have the whole range of spa treatments from the basic to the most complete that can be organized for a bride and her bridesmaids…,” said Preston Thompson, director of marketing at Black Butte Ranch.

Spa days allow the bridal party to become better acquainted and reduce stress.

“They talk about the wedding and the plans. There’s so

much tension leading up in those last days — the plans, the demands, where they need to be and what they need to do — it can be grueling on the bride and her attendants. Just to have that time for everybody to relax and laugh and be together and have fun is so important,” said

Sana Hayes, manager of Shibui.

“They leave so relaxed. It takes their mind off of everything,” added The Lodge at Suttle Lake events director Sarah Schnoor.

Often two-treatment packages are chosen, combining a massage with a facial or a massage with a manicure and/or pedicure. Depending upon the chosen treatments, prices in the Sisters area start at around $150 per person. Of course, good food goes along with the spa day from early morning coffee and bagels to champagne, light hors d’oeuvres and chocolate.

Tami Jones, owner of Metamorphosis in downtown Sisters, offers a smaller more one-onone alternative, working with

bridal party members one after another. “We start at a certain time in the morning, and everybody comes in every half-hour.

Sometimes there are people who want to sleep in who don’t want to come early,” said Jones.

Spa days are also becoming popular bridal shower venues.

Such events allow the bridal party to bond as a group in advance of the wedding. Not always held at a professional spa facility, technicians often provide their services in the home of the hostess.

Some couples choose wedding spa days exclusively for themselves.

“We get a lot of couples the day before or the morning of the wedding. They’ll do a couple’s massage together to kind of get on the same page with each other and calm their nerves and relax,” said Hayes.

Suzanne Maitland of Dermaspa in Bend says, “It’s a real way to get pampered and relax and cut down on the stress level.”

Dermaspa provides a full range of spa services from facials to Botox® —and they emphasize that felling good and looking great is for the men in the wedding party, too.

Deep tissue massages for those dealing with tension to hot stone massages to the classic Swedish treatment are all popular. Chocolate body butter is used at Shibui to add to the romantic ambiance.

“It’s a little frosting at the end,” said Hayes.

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“We like to provide a very customized package,” said assistant general manager Vincent Rosan. “Ideally I envision a couple’s massage outside on the deck overlooking the lake where we have two massage therapists giving the treatment when the weather is perfect. The couple hear the water clapping. That’s ideal.”

For some, a couple’s

massage after the wedding is the perfect alternative. Whether the couple talks or is silent, the newlyweds enjoy a once-in-alifetime moment together. Suttle Lake caters to providing these massages in the couple’s guest room.

“It’s very, very romantic,” said events director Schnoor. “They can just stay in their bathrobes when we’re all through and jump in their jacuzzi.”

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Custom rings are an expression of love

By Jim Cornelius

A

s couples seek to express their love in unique and individual ways, they turn to custom jewelers to design the perfect engagement and wedding rings.

David Haffney of Sisters Jewelry says that in a world that is increasingly standardized, custom jewelry becomes more meaningful to couples. “ That ring becomes an expression of your individuality,” he said. That individuality can be expressed in subtle or radical ways.

“I had a couple come in that wanted a set of bands that matched that were oak trees,” Haffney said.

Most couples stick to more traditional designs, but with personal touches.

“Sometimes people don’t know what they want to do, but they like the idea of doing something that they don’t see in every store — that’s not mass-produced, essentially,” said Jan Daggett of The Jewel.

“It’s more of an intimate process for them to be involved in making the rings instead of buying them off the shelf.”

Custom rings offer good value — they are often sturdier than the large but light ring you bought through the Internet. And clients are often surprised that custom rings are not as expensive as they feared.

Figuring out what you want It’s important to know your budget going in. That allows your jeweler to work with you to meet your dollar constraints.

Have an idea whether you want a stone or not. If you do, there are many options; you’re not limited to diamonds. If you choose a diamond, there are options in size, shape and color.

According to Daggett, your jeweler should be willing to present a range of stones.

Your jeweler should be willing to show at least three stones in a range of price and quality, she believes. Be wary if you feel you are being pushed toward what the jeweler wants to sell you.

Do you want an engagement/wedding set or one ring?

Do you want matching men’s and women’s rings or rings that harmonize but aren’t identical?

Some people are good at verbally describing what they’re after in a work of art, but most aren’t. It helps to have some visual aids. Find pictures of things you like, even if it’s not exactly what you’re after — even if it’s not a piece of jewelry. Find examples from your jeweler’s inventory that attract you. That will give your jeweler a place to start.

Know your jeweler Most couples are drawn to a particular jeweler because they like what they see in the store or because someone they know referred them. Make sure you like the kind of work the jeweler does before you make a commitment.

Both Haffney and Daggett agree that listening is the most important attribute of a jeweler beyond their skill at their work. If you are to get what you want, the jeweler must be listening to you.

It’s your ring; don’t be inhibited by what you think the jeweler might think of your ideas or symbolic desires. Don’t be pushed toward something the jeweler wants to make.

“I try to be nonjudgmental,” said Haffney. “What I’m looking for is that long-term relationship. I want to make them exactly what they want.”

Daggett says that your

jeweler should be willing to show you your rings in different stages of work and you should know what your options are if you’re not satisfied.

“Ask what happens if you don’t like the final product,” she said.

Minimize conflicts There are always more people involved in the creation of wedding jewelry than the bride and groom. There are friends who all have opinions and family members who may have certain wants and expectations — especially if they are

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contributing financially. Couples can feel a lot of pressure.

“Sometimes they react instead of going with their heart,” Haffney said. “Sometimes I’ll try to back out of situations like that.”

Different couples have different approaches, Haffney notes. Sometimes the man is a bystander, seeking only to get a ring or rings that makes his darling happy. Sometimes the couple will negotiate on design onsite with the jeweler. Sometimes the man knows exactly what he wants for his lady, and that’s it.

The jeweler has to be flexible enough — and skilled at navigating the shoals of relationships — to work with a variety of approaches.

It can get pretty complicated, Daggett allows.

“In some cases she’s not going to be happy if he’s not happy with it,” she said. “In other cases, he doesn’t really like it, but he acquiesces.”

Sometimes, Daggett said, a hybrid derived from differing tastes can work.

Haffney advises couples to slow down, take their time, refine what they want.

People’s choices evolve as they work through the process and learn more and conflicts can often evaporate as the right solution presents itself.

Above all, selecting a custom ring should be a gratifying part of the process of getting married. It’s an emotional, meaningful piece of jewelry designed to last a lifetime and creating it should bring pleasure and satisfaction.

Daggett sums up her outlook: “ This should be a fun process. Why go through it otherwise?”

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

15

Off to the honeymoon!

By Jim Cornelius

T

he wedding is over.

The vows have been exchanged. The cake is eaten, the champagne drunk.

It’s time to blow off all the stress and head off for that magical two weeks in the sun.

And the sun is what most honeymooners seek. “ The top destinations tend to be sunny, tropical places,” said Phil Arends of Desert Wings Travel, a Sisters agency that specializes in honeymoon travel.

Using a qualified travel agent is a good way to ensure that the trip is as magical as you dreamed.

“Just as they go to a wedding planner, I think an agent can take care of the details so (the couple) doesn’t have to worry about them,” Arends said.

Arends advises booking six to nine months in advance, especially if the couple is looking to book that honeymoon resort

suite with the balcony overlooking the ocean.

Planning early also gives couples a better sense of the costs they’ll incur, which is critical to budgeting for the wedding.

Arends says more and more

couples are going for the oncein-a-lifetime trip for their honeymoon, often requesting financial contributions in lieu of gifts.

“People are spending a lot of money on their honeymoons,” he said. “They’ll book that Tahiti trip that costs $10,000.”

Arends says it’s important to clearly define the kind of honeymoon experience you’re looking for and to be realistic

about costs.

To be cost effective — and for the pure fun of it — many couples are also choosing “destination weddings” where the wedding is held in an exotic location.

The entire wedding party makes a vacation of it in some tropical clime.

Sisters is, in fact, one of those destination sites, with couples honeymooning right here and wedding parties enjoying hiking, rafting, skiing and other attractions of the area.

That’s a good option even for couples who live here.

Arends sees more and more couples deferring their honeymoon to a later date — especially if they’re getting married in the summer and planning a tropical vacation.

“A lot of sun spots aren’t necessarily ideal if they’re getting married in the summer,” he said.

A deferred honeymoon can

also be a bit less rushed.

If you’re leaving right after the wedding, Arends recommends giving yourself a day before travel to decompress and to make sure the travel plans and documents are all in order. That way, “they can start the honeymoon relaxed.”

No matter how well you plan, things may go awry. Arends counsels couples not to be so fixated on expectations of magic that setbacks ruin

the experience.

“You’ve got to go with the flow,” he said. “There’s always times when the flight might be delayed, the weather might not be perfect, the room might not be exactly what you thought it would be.”

That’s not so important.

“You’re going to be with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with; you love them,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter.”

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Sisters’ winning engagement story...

Let Our bliss become yours

Janet Zuelke and Forrest Babcock

I

t was February…nearly nine months after the passing of Forrest’s wife Jane.

Forrest and I had become close and knew that we wanted to be together though I had no idea he had already designed a ring for me. Out of respect for Jane’s memory and his kids’ feelings, Forrest wanted to wait to give it to me until he could speak publicly about Jane without breaking down.

Forrest is like a kid and he knew it would be impossible to keep this secret for that long.

His hiding place in the woods behind his house would have to be incredible and difficult to get to. A gifted engineer, he created a beautiful maple box for the ring, made a hole saw to cut a plug deep into the core of a tree, placed the box inside and put the bark plug back in it’s place. Not to worry, his daily walks would watch over everything.

The last part of his plan incorporated the use of six clues given to me over time that would drive me crazy; like Clue #3 “A logger will be confused.”

Huh? In late May, the Banks Library where Jane had worked purchased a bench in her name.

Forrest spoke tenderly of Jane at the dedication ceremony. That evening, with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye he handed me a screw driver and said “Follow me!”

It was dark and rainy, the trail slippery with mud. We hiked to the top of his property and down

a side trail through vine maples and old growth cedars, the dripping fronds of the sword ferns soaking our jeans. We came upon a Douglas Fir about 20 inches in diameter.

He said,“Look closely and find what we want for each other.”

I could see that pitch was oozing from a circular shape in the bark. What could have possibly done that? Mumbling something about him being nuts, I began to pry at the scarred bark until the plug popped out onto the ground.

Peering inside the hole I could see a circle of wood with a screw in the middle.

At Forrest’s direction I tried unscrewing the top of the box.

I turned and turned…nothing.

More forcefully: Turn, turn… nothing.

It suddenly dawned on him that his plan forgot an important fact of nature: He placed the box inside the tree in February. It was now May. The sap was running, the tree was growing and the box would soon become part of the tree forever.

Grabbing the screwdriver, he frantically began to jab at the box until finally the top popped off. There, covered in pitch yet all sparkly in the flashlight’s glow was a beautiful diamond ring. With rain on our cheeks, our feet sliding in the mud, we said “Yes,” and he placed the ring on my finger.

By the way, the fir tree is alive and well even though the bottom half of a maple box remains inside it to this day — see Clue #3!

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

17

Dividing the spoils of marriage

By Joseph Duerrmeyer

A

ll marriages end at some point, be it through death or divorce. Marriages in America have a nearly equal chance of ending either way, counting on a 50 percent divorce rate.

Prenuptial agreements are one way of dealing with the reality of living in a society where 50 percent of “life-long commitments” ... aren’t. A “prenupt” can also work as a financial tool when couples stick to their vows and actually live out a life-long commitment.

Prenuptial agreements are a legal contract between two people about to wed that spells out how assets will be distributed in the event of divorce or death. Such agreements have existed for thousands of years in some form or another, particularly in European and Far Eastern cultures where royal families have always made provisions for protecting their wealth.

However, you don’t have to be a royal heir or a Trump to need a premarital agreement.

A person who has struggled to save $30,000 may be more

protective of his or her nest egg than a individual who has millions of dollars of inherited wealth or a huge financial empire.

Among the various pastors polled, the consensus is that prenuptial agreements are rarely used. This factor may be an outgrowth of religious or philosophical reasons or it may be because of the reality that there is very little that will douse a heated romance with cold water more quickly than bringing up the subject of a prenuptial agreement.

The State of Oregon recognizes prenuptial agreements, and they are found valid in the eyes of the law in most cases. “ There are several factors that are considered when determining the validity of a prenupt. The agreement must be voluntary, and the parties must make full disclosure of the assets,” said Charles Fadeley, a Sisters attorney and justice of the peace.

The courts look at the circumstances of the signing of the agreement.

“When a prenupt is done,

it is important that each party be represented by an attorney so that they understand they agree to the terms and full disclosure must be made. In those cases the agreement would be found valid in court. But let’s say that someone drops a prenupt on the bride 10 minutes before she walks down the aisle, it might be hard to enforce it,” said Fadeley.

Feelings are mixed about the use of prenuptial agreements, even from those who discourage using them.

“I believe that the purpose of marriage is for the two to become one, and that means at every level. It somehow undermines the very principle when entering a commitment to become one, yet also saying we will be one in every way except for my money,” said Tim Kizziar, lead pastor at Sisters Community Church.

That being said, pastor Kizziar acknowledges that there are times when a prenuptial agreement serves a valuable purpose.

“If a widow and a widower were to marry and each has

children from a previous marriage, the couple might feel that there were things from the first marriage that belong to the children of the original spouse and the prenuptial agreement can insure that the inheritance passes to the rightful heirs,” he said.

The occasional valid need for a prenuptial agreement is also recognized by the Catholic Church which takes, perhaps, the strongest stand against

divorce of any religious group.

“A prenuptial agreement is a little like buying fire insurance; just because you purchase insurance, it doesn’t mean that you are planning on burning down your house. The important thing is that the agreement does not in any way diminish the commitment of the two that are entering into the sacrament of marriage,” said Father Richard Ley of Saint Edward the Martyr Catholic Church.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

Continued from page 2 Bill flew back to visit about once a month.

“His life was rougher,” Mickey acknowledged. Bill had a lonely time, while Mickey’s established social circle carried on. For her, the challenges of separation were “more coping with three teenaged boys.”

Eventually Bill was transferred to Portland, Oregon, which was great for his career — and a boon to the family.

“I thought I’d died and gone to heaven when they moved us to Oregon,” Mickey said.

Bill worked on major advances in pacemakers, seeing them encapsulated for the first time all in metal, then established a company that developed individual defibrillators.

It was satisfying work.

“It was interesting to be so close to development of medical items basically all through my career,” he said. “It’s great to see the advances.”

The couple made a major change in the mid-‘80s and moved to Sisters, where they

bought Lutton’s Decorating Center in 1986, renaming it Sisters Decorating Center.

They ran the operation in the Three Wind Shopping Center

Mickey & Bill Duehren

together for several years, then sold it in 1991. They continued to work for the new owners until 1997 before retiring.

Nowadays, Bill is active in Kiwanis, while Mickey is active with her skiing and hiking group.

She thinks it’s important that couples cultivate independence and Bill said that “allowing that within the marriage” is critical to long-term success.”

Patience and accommoda-

tion are other important traits.

Devout Catholics, the Duehrens believe that marriage “was taken more seriously” when they tied the knot. And when people get married and had children at a younger age, as they did then, “you grow up together.”

But Mickey sees some benefits to the cultural changes that have developed over the past five decades. “ Women want more from the husband,” she said. “And men and boys are brought up to be more thoughtful and sensitive.”

She’s all for the changes that have expanded and changed men’s roles with their children.

“My dad was a doll and I loved the man dearly,” she said.

“But I’m sure that he never changed a diaper.”

Both couples are evidence that a blend of solidarity and independence, respect, patience and good communication can keep a couple together — and happy — long after the wedding day.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 Sisters Country Weddings

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