January 2021

Vol. 27 #1 January 2021

Tampa • St. Petersburg • Clearwater • Largo • Tarpon Springs . Brandon • Bradenton • Sarasota • Lakeland Plant City

FREE

Publishers: TAMPA BAY TAMMY & DJ CEO

Welcome to Tampa Bay! As you enjoy your Super Bowl Experience & Events Please Remember to Practice Social Distancing And to Wear Your Favorite Team Mask.

Page 2

Dear Girlfriend, I am a 45 year old woman. I have been dating this divorced man for about a year and a half now. When we met, he told me he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship and he was not getting married again. I said “cool,” because I have been married before and I am a very independent woman with my own everything. However, since I do want to marry again, I continued dating and talking to other guys, keeping my options open.

This man would text me every morning and call me every day to chit chat.

We ate out together at least once a week and he would bring food over sometimes too. We looked at movies and I kept his favorite drink at my bar. We were friends, good friends. with benefits. I really enjoyed his company and he had a great sense of humor. He could have been the one for me.

Well once the pandemic hit, I lost my job and was off work for 6 months but got unemployment and subsidized with my savings. During that time we didn’t see each other as much and going out to eat totally stopped. However he would Cash App me $200 every time he got paid and said that was my allowance. That was more than anyone else I knew was doing for me and I appreciated it. Well I got a new job and the allowance has stopped and so has the regular morning texts and the phone calls are not as often. I can tell there is someone else. I am a bit hurt and angry but I play it off when he calls and acts as if nothing is wrong. My best friend said she would have cursed him out and that I am not handling this right. So we decided this is a Dear Girlfriend letter. So, Am I handling him right or is this all wrong?

Losing My Boo! Dear Losing My Boo, All my life I’ve been told if a person says “they don’t want to be in a relationship,” believe them. What it means is they don’t want to be in a relationship with you.

Please don’t be insulted. It does not mean they do not like the way you look, the way you dress, your company or like screwing you. He evidently likes all those things or you would not have been getting an allowance but that does not change the fact, he does not want you to be his one and only or wifey. He wants to be your boyfriend.

Let’s clarify, a boyfriend is a man that has found you interesting and likes what they see. However boyfriends come and go. There’s NO commitment unless they fall in love with you along the way and it becomes more. So, you have to accept people where they are. Hollering, fussing and cussing will not do a thing, but run a man off.

However, you do have to let him know how you feel ...calmly. I have heard men call girls crazy for cursing them out or for jumping into a jealous rage at them for not calling ....saying she went off and we were just friends.

Sounds like you had that thing going for a minute, so you either did something that turned him off, or he met someone else that has sparked his interest who consumes his time or maybe an old love came back. That does happen, so you should ask!

You are old enough to know that when you are applying for a job, you must be the best candidate. When you want to be the one, you have to act like it.. If you are applying for the Help Mate position, there are some things you must do: 1.You must be real and stop playing these, I don’t need a man game. If you want more, then say so. Every man wants to be loved, needed and encouraged too.

2. You must consume his time with food and fun. You stated all he does for you, but what you do for him. Men get tired of women who are always expecting something but are doing nothing in return but screwing. Since he does have to eat daily and you were unemployed, you should have shown more initiative in the kitchen. I didnt say cook everyday, but very few men are trying to marry a woman that does not concern herself with meals even if he cooks. You had a year to establish a supportive rapport.

3. You must introduce him into your social life and always make holiday plans.. You must give him an option to be in your world.. If he is never willing, that’s usually a sign that he is he is just buying time with you and you are not the one. So stay cool but real!

N-Touch News

Saturday, January 23rd 10AM

To Receive N-Touch News digitally, monthly click the Subscribe button at ntouchnews.com Page 3

You Heard It From ME KEEP RIGHT, ON THE LEFT

Everyone knows how an autocracy or dictatorship works, one person running everything, the strong over the weak, the rich over the poor. It took 250 years to build this democracy and just 4 years to almost destroy it.

Due to the imminent threat on our democracy, This election had the largest turnout in history. President elect Joe Biden got 7 million more votes than Donald Trump and 306 Electoral votes to win the Presidency. Elections moving forward will continue with larger turnouts.

As an African American, living in an uncloaked White supremacy society this is not comfortable, nor a safe disposition for my family and me.

If you ask me, on a scale of one to ten on where we are as far as a white supremacist society is concerned. I would say we are about a seven. If you are someone of color, I would imagine that you feel the stress of living in a country led by an overt white supremacist.

The elections have revealed, seventy four million on the right have voted to keep Trump in control. Until the actions of domestic terrorists shown with the attack on the Capitol. ignorance was bliss. they could pretend racism didn’t exist and Blacks were over reacting. Recognize some still want to continue down the path of insurrection, a take over of the country to forever be run by the radicals.

From 1975 to 2015 we had 40 years of our children and our children’s children truly being a part of this society’s melting pot. Since integration, some of their hearts have blended with different cultures from which they have grown to identify as American. While most hearts bleed purple, others believe the old adage, “might over right’ and they call that belief, American.

So what do we need to do now?

In the immortal words of President Barack Obama, “elections have consequences”, these words were exemplified by the unrest of the last four years under the Trump Administration.

United, Democrats are 81 million Page 4

Get a $100 Rebate For Saving Water – Stop Flushing Money Down The Toilet Most people are looking for ways to save money.

There’s a rebate program that can help you save money while also cutting back on your water use.

It all starts with a flush.

Nearly one-third of your home’s indoor water use is tied to your toilet, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Switching to a more efficient toilet, such as a high-efficiency EPA WaterSense-certified toilet, can add up to major savings.

A high-efficiency EPA WaterSense-certified toilet uses only 1.28 gallons per flush, which is 60% less water than most older models. And, WaterSense toilets are also tested for quality performance, so you can be confident you’re getting a great product.

strong and must vote to maintain control of the government for at least the next 20 years until they can change the hearts of the children of the 74 million.

Now that Democrats know voting is what it takes to take control of the House, Senate and Presidency, it is incumbent that socially conscious humanitarians maintain control.

What is the right thing? If money is your motivator then you probably have an affinity to Trump hanging around because your 401K or your investment accounts look pretty doggone good. Selfish reasons outweigh the moral inclination of some to do the right thing. The right seems to have followed the path of immorality and debasement.

If you are on the left, the right thing for you is to maintain control of the House and Senate. Keeping the left in control of state and local governments will help with proper legislation that will benefit ALL people instead of just the wealthy few. The left wants to be associated with doing the right thing.

While different cultures may not agree on everything, what can be agreed upon is that America is of the people, for the people and by the people. For those on the left that want to maintain control, you must continue to vote in ALL ELECTIONS, no matter how large or small for at least the next 20 years. The left has to continue winning the hearts and minds of children on the left and the hearts and minds of the children on the right because children are our future and are very impressionable. A continual dose of goodness in America will help to influence all our children in voting for what is good for all the people. You will get that in a Biden/Harris Administration.

Over time, this adds up to major water savings, which can mean savings on your utility bill too.

Rebates for water-saving toilets Homeowners can qualify for a rebate of up to $100 through Tampa Bay Water Wise, a regional conservation program, for changing to a WaterSense certified toilet. Toilets from home improvement stores range in prices, and some WaterSense-certified models cost less than $100, which means the rebate could cover the cost to purchase the new one if you’re eligible.

tersburg, City of New Port Richey, Pinellas County, Pasco County or Hillsborough County to qualify.

Business and property owners can also qualify for rebates for making water-saving changes. Owners of restaurants, multifamily buildings and other types of properties may qualify for Tampa Bay Water Wise’s non-residential toilet and urinal rebates.

Visit tampabaywaterwise.org to learn more about the available rebates.

Good for your community Saving water doesn’t just save you money — it is good for your community. Projections show that the Tampa Bay region will need an additional 10 million gallons per day of new water supply by 2028.

Taking action now will help mitigate more costly resources in the future. Tampa Bay Water Wise aims to conserve up to 11 million gallons of drinking Eligibility requirements Homes with toilets manufactured in 1993 or earlier water per day by 2030 and provides rebates to may qualify. Enter your address at tampabaywater- residents for making water-saving changes. wise.org to see if you qualify, then verify the man- Tampa Bay Water, its member governments and ufacturing date on your toilet’s tank by removing the Southwest Florida Water Management District the lid from the top of your tank and look for the (SWFWMD) are working together on Tampa Bay imprints. They’re often located just above the water Water Wise, a regional demand management line or on the lid— you may need a flashlight to read and conservation program. Program funding is them. provided by TBW and SWFWMD. Learn more at TampaBayWaterWise.org Homeowners must be an existing potable water utility customer of the City of Tampa, City of St. Pe-

MLK Jr. Celebration - Orlando U.S. Diplomat

CALVIN HAYES KEYNOTE SPEAKER

U.S. Diplomat and FAMU graduate, Calvin Hayes blew the room away with a speech to commemorate the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday that left me shaking .and I’m not easy to impress. I am proud of Calvin Hayes...not only because he is an all-star husband, phenomenal provider, overcomer, strategic thinker, and one of the best U.S. diplomats I know, I am proud of him because he is a credit to our culture and the hope of his ancestors, stated his wife Diplomat Kindall Sunshine Hayes.

You may register to be a part of the powerful, soul-stirring speech Calvin delivered in advance for the King holiday.

N-Touch News

The Annual MLK Jr. Parade Postponed until Juneteenth The Dr. Martin Luther King Parade Foundation, after careful deliberation, has made the decision to postpone the 32nd Annual Dr. Martin Luther King Parade. The postponement comes as a safety precaution due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

The City of Tampa’s parade will take place on Saturday, June 19, 2021 in combination with the observance of Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day. Juneteenth is the nation’s annual celebration of the abolishment of the awful practice of slavery in the United States. Juneteenth 2021 follows a year of protests, calls for police and criminal justice reform and a long overdue commitment to address the systemic racism that still plagues our country.

The decision to postpone did not come easy. The Foundation wanted the new date to be as significant and relevant as the MLK holiday and Dr. King himself. Juneteenth, also known as Jubilee day, Liberation day, and Emancipation Day, signifies a beginning to the journey of freedom and equality Dr. King fought for throughout his life.

“Our primary concerns were for the safety of our Parade participants, the safety of our community, and upholding the integrity of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy”, said

Foundation President, Robert Scott, Jr. “We are happy that we are able to address all these concerns with our final decision.”

The parade will start as usual at Cuscaden Park (2900 N. 15th Street Tampa, FL 33605), beginning 11:00 am, and end at Middleton High School. As always, the parade will be a free, family friendly event and all are welcome.

The Foundation encourages community organizations, churches, and businesses interested in participating in the parade to continue submitting their parade applications. The entry deadline has been extended to May 19, 2021. Applications and payment can be submitted online or mailed directly to the parade office at 5508 N. 50th St., Ste. 28, Tampa, FL 33610.

For more information on payment options, parade entry, sponsorship, or volunteer opportunities, please contact the MLK Parade Foundation office at 813-803-8060, or visit www.mlkjrparade.com.

The Dr. Martin Luther King Parade Foundation, Inc. is a certified charitable 501c3 non-profit organization established in 2014, whose purpose is to honor and celebrate the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., while providing a lasting and positive impact throughout the Tampa community.

Page 5

Fashion & More

Tampa Deltas Offer Scholarships Annually, the Tampa Alumnae Chapter, D.E.L.T.A., Inc., with assistance from the community, raises funds to provide scholarships and book stipends to outstanding academic achievements of high school graduates in Hillsborough County.

The application process gives the Scholarship Committee information about the applicant, helping to determine the scholarship recipients.

The application for the Tampa Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Scholarship is now available on the Tampa Alumnae website (www. dstta.org).

Below are the requirements: * Be an African American female and currently a high school senior * Be enrolled in an accredited public, charter, parochial, or private high school in Hillsborough County, Florida * Have a 3.50 minimum grade point average (G.P.A.) * Demonstrate accomplishments in any of the following areas: Special Talents, Leadership, Extra Curricular, Athletics, or Community Service * Plan to attend an accredited institution of higher education in the U.S.

College & Career Conversations The College & Career Conversations project held a virtual event on Saturday, January 9th as a part of the Tampa Bay Black Heritage Festival. The project was birthed in August 2018 by Dr. Theresa Lewis, an East Tampa native who has been an educator for 27 years and a counselor for 18 years.

The goal of the project is to support students, particularly those who are first-generation, or simply need more support to realize their potential. The various live events and webinars that

are provided often share valuable information that parents and students often struggle to find the answers to.

This collaborative effort is executed voluntarily through a small team of caring professionals, most of whom have a strong educational background and were first-generation students when they attended college themselves.

For more information, please contact me at (813) 833-1215 or doctortlewis@gmail.com

Mask, Sports Paraphenalia, Caps, Men’s Wear, Women’s Wear, Stretch Jeans, Belts, Buckles, Sneakers, Socks, Thermal Wear, Novelties, Oils Serving Tampa Bay for over 30 Years

Page 6

N-Touch News, The Good News publication

WARNING!!!

The NAACP has received credible information that some of the white nationalist groups, and white supremacist groups have initiations happening this weekend. As part of the initiation it is said that they will be looking to snatch black men and boys and hang them, shoot them, torture them and kill them. Please spread the word and don’t let your sons go out alone.

Pay attention to your surroundings.

If you made friends with someone recently, do not be gullible and naive they may have another motive.

Be cautious, STAY PRAYED UP! Only travel in pairs and even then, pay attention. If your car is hit by a truck or van don’t be quick to jump out. Pay attention. Women also be alert. We know that at some point anyone will do.

Veterinarian Scholarships 2021 The USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) is attempting to increase the diversity of its veterinarian staff by offering scholarships and internships to induce more minorities and women to seek a career in Veterinary Medicine. In 2020 20 scholarships were given valued at $15,000 a year for 4 years. In addition, FSIS is offering internships.

The Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS), USDA, is excited to notify potential students that the FSIS 2021 Adel A. Malak Scholarship application period posted January 11, 2021 ends on January 25, 2021 11:59 pm.

Students applying for the program, should visit https://www. u s a j o b s . g o v / G e t J o b / Vi e w D e tails/589049700.

For scholarship information click on the Malak scholarship segment.

Additionally, when submitting an application for the scholarship, be sure to include an unofficial transcript which supports the qualifications of the position for which you are applying. Also needed to be included is proof of enrollment or proof of acceptance to the Malak scholarship program.

Please feel free to share this information as appropriate.

Stephen A. Whatley FSIS/OCFO/FOD 1400 Independence Avenue NW Room 2150 Washington, DC 20250 Telephone 202-297-2380 Stephen.whatley@usda.gov

AUTO INJURY REHABILITATION ACUPUNCTURE CHIROPRACTIC

www.tampaspineandwellness.com doctor@tswchiro.com

(813) 331-5753 205 W. MLK Blvd Suite 102 Tampa, FL 33603

The Official Limousine of Tampa Bay Tammy

At N-Touch News, We Support Those Who Support Us! N-Touch News

Page 7

Ebony Santa @ 5508 & Sean Bell’s Bike Give Away

N-Touch News Serving the Bay Area Since 1996 Page 8

N-Touch News

Page 9

Page 10

N-Touch News

CITY OF TAMPA, THAPGROUP PARTNER TO ACCELERATE EAST TAMPA MICROBUSINESS 5508 Business Accelerator Engages Entrepreneurs with Training Opportunities The City of Tampa and the Tampa-Hillsborough Action Plan, Inc. (THAPgroup) have partnered to provide micro businesses with hours of training through the 5508 Business Accelerator. The goal of the project is to accelerate revenue growth for micro businesses and entrepreneurs living in and operating businesses in East Tampa. Business owners can submit their applications to the 5508 Business Accelerator through March 31, 2021.

The development-centered program, which begins in January 2021, is complimentary and allows entrepreneurs to attend virtual and in-person sessions covering growth topics with training by expert facilitators.

“We’re making the investment into small businesses to help them develop a competitive advantage that will allow them to be successful in today’s environment and beyond,”

says THAPgroup’s CEO Derrick Blue.

Training sessions continue through September 30, 2021 and will cover such topics as corporate and government procurement, capital access requirements, growth and operations planning, and virtual work solutions.

“The business environment is shifting and transforming,” says Blue.

“We want to help our small businesses be able to effectively respond to these changes.”

Small business programs at 5508 are dedicated to revitalizing and sustaining business growth in East Tampa.

Entrepreneurs and micro businesses can apply online to the 5508 Business Accelerator by visiting www. thapgroup.org/5508accelerator.

They may also call the business office at 813.626.4926 or visit 5508 North 50th Street, Suite #7, 33610 weekdays from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM. About THAPgroup The mission of the Tampa-Hillsborough Action Plan, Inc. (THAPgroup) is to offer solutions that build social equity by awakening a sense of dignity within Southwest Florida residents who face educational, health, housing, and economic challenges. www.thapgroup.org

Attorneys

The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely upon advertisement.

Before you decide, ask for FREE written information about our qualifications and experience.

Barbara J. Pittman

Law Offices of Barbara J. Pittman, P.A.

(813)269-9706 Fax (813)960-0601

Cypress Point Office Park 10012 N. Dale Mabry Suite 211 Tampa, Florida 33618 • • • •

Criminal Defense Family Law Personal Injury Sports Law

The Law Office of Patricia Dawson, P.A. Former Hillsborough County Prosecutor-Deputy Chief

1409 W. Thonotosassa Rd. Plant City, Fl. 33566

(813) 719-6605

Moore

Williams

One on One Consultation From Start to Successful Conclusion

Accidental Death Auto/Motorcycle Accidents Permanent Disabilities Nursing Home Negligence Slip & Falls

www.williamsandmoorelaw.com

• Criminal Defense (813) • Family Law • Personal Injury

386-5730

1211 N. WestshoreBlvd. Suite 307 Tampa, Florida 33607 Page 11

Big Al’s Precious Hair & Barber Shop 5617 E. Adamo Drive Unit 2 Tampa, Florida 33619

Register today for an upcoming class 4 hour course for initial HIV/AIDS (813) 630-9579

Now Hiring: Barbers Braiders & Stylist

Hair Expressions of Carrollwood

(813) 323-5714

A Full Service Salon 12037 Anderson Rd. Tampa, Fl. 33624

Owner / Operator Theresa Henry Call for Appointment Spacious Work Environment Movie Room

Naaman Johnson Jr.

Booth Rental Available (813) 846-4175

www.hairexpressionofcarrollwood.com

19820 US 19 Clearwater, FL 33764

813-244-9127

5302 19th St. at Hillsborough Ave Tampa, Fl

Master Barber Ben

@ Foster’s

Barber Shop 1923 W. Main Tampa Fl. 33607 813-389-0480

Booth Rental Available

Alvin Walker Owner/Stylist 813 376-0503

Convenient Locations

N-Touch News: Keeping Small Businesses in Business N-Touch News

Vaccinations Administered at St. Johns Progressive Missionary Baptist Church in East Tampa Churches play a vital role in the African American community, making St. Johns Progressive Missionary Baptist Church a great place to begin the vaccination process. On Saturday, January 9, the vaccine was administered to citizens 65 and over. To offset waste,

calls were made and shots were given to others. In a collaborate effort to build trust and confidence in the vaccination process, Mayor Jane Castor, Councilman Orlando Gudes and Commissioner Gwen Myers were present to get the vaccine rolling.

Why Get Vaccinated?

To Protect Yourself, Your Coworkers, Your Patients, Your Family, and Your Community Building defenses against COVID-19 in this facility and in your you are a key part of that defense.  Getting the COVID-19 vaccine adds one more layer of protection for you, your coworkers, patients, and family. 

Here are ways you can build in the new COVID-19 vaccines in your facility, your community, and at home:

It all starts with you.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

 Get vaccinated and enroll in the v-safe text messaging program to help CDC monitor vaccine safety.  Tell others why you are getting vaccinated and encourage them to get vaccinated.  Learn how to have conversations about COVID-19 vaccine with coworkers, family, and friends.

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/vaccines

12/09/20

At N-Touch News, we support those who support us.

Page 13

Go Ahead and Get your Laugh On The Kingdom

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe’s elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.

After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem.

Soon, the king’s tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king.

Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him.

The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: “People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.”

The Priest

A pastor offered a ride to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The pastor removed his hand.

While changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Pastor, remember Psalm 129?” The pastor apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the pastor rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Page 14

The Horse

Lady Gets on a Bus

In a rural area a farmer was tending to his horse named Buddy, and along came a stranger who despartely needed the farmer’s help. The stranger had lost control of his vehicle and ran it off into a ditch. The stranger asked the farmer if his horse could somehow pull the vehicle out of the ditch for him and told the farmer that the vehicle was small.

The farmer said he would come, bring his horse, and take a look, but could not promise he could help if his horse might be injured in some way from attempting to pull the vehicle out of the ditch. The farmer did see that the stranger was correct and that the vehicle was small, so the farmer took a rope and fixed it so that his horse, Buddy, would be able to pull the vehicle out of the ditch. The farmer then said, “Pull, Casey, Pull,” but the horse would not budge. The farmer then said, “Pull, Bailey, Pull,” but the horse would not budge again.

The farmer then said, “Pull, Mandy, Pull,” and again the horse would not move. The farmer then said, “Pull, Buddy, Pull,” and the horse pulled until the vehicle was out of the ditch.

The stranger was so very grateful, but asked the farmer why he called the horse by different names? The farmer said, “Buddy is blind, and I had to make him think he had help pulling the car out of the ditch or he would not have pulled.”

Lesson: Don’t wait on others in order to accomplish something or you may always be in a ditch.

Sometimes we won’t attempt to do something unless we think we have help.

A lady gets on a public bus. Without saying a word, she gestures to the bus driver by sticking her thumb on her nose and waving her fingers at the driver.

The driver acknowledges the lady, turns to her and uses both hands in the same type of gesture and waves all his fingers at her.

The woman holds her right arm out at the driver and chops at it a few times with her left hand.

Then the driver puts his left hand on his right bicep and jerks his right arm up in a fist at her.

The woman then cups both of her hands under her breasts and lifts gently. So the driver places both of his hands at his crotch and gently lifts up.

Then the woman frowns, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the bus.

There is another woman sitting in the front row of the bus who witnessed the whole exchange.

She speaks up, “That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on a public bus! What the hell were you doing?”

“Listen lady,” states the gruff bus driver, “the lady that got on the bus before was a deaf-mute.

She asked me if the bus went to 5th Street. I said no, we go to 10th Street.

She asked if we make many stops. I told her that this was the express. She asked if we go by the dairy, and I told her we go by the ballpark. She said “Shit, I’m on the wrong bus!” and got off.”

Marrying a Golfer

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook.

The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”

And that’s when the fight started.

Sunday School

The Baseball

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.

Then it hit me.

The Judges

Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day.

Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other’s case.

The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant’s table and admitted his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs.

They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs.

The second judge was furious. “I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!” he fumed.

The first judge looked at him and replied, “This is the second such case we’ve had in here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!”

My Name’s Joe

There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them.

Another Saturday night came around.

About 7 p.m., there was a knock on the door. He answered and the young man said, “Hi, my name’s Joe. I’m here for Flo. I’m taking her to the show. Is she ready to go?” The farmer thought he was a clever boy and wished them a good time.

A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second boy appeared and said, “Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m here for Betty. I’m taking her for spaghetti. I hope she’s ready.” He thought that he must know Joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes.

A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard.

“Hi, I’m Chuck…” The farmer shot him.

Riddle

A racist, pervert and a con man walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “what are you having Mr. President”?

Keep On Laughing...Laughter Heals!

FROM OUR

Moffitt Family to Yours

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy 2021!

As we move into the new year, create your plan to promote the health and safety of your family.

At Moffitt, we are committed to helping you understand your risks and have the expertise to diagnose and treat all types of cancer. Early detection can help save more lives.

Together we can make a difference.

Learn more about Screenings.

Call 1-888-456-2839 or visit Moffitt.org/Screening

Courageous DURING COVID-19, YOUR SAFETY IS A PRIORITY AT MOFFITT Page 15

Page 16