The Golf Trip

John, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn. So they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”

The lady agreed, and the two men slept in the barn. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.

About nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.

He asked his friend Shawn, “Do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?”

“Yes, I do,” said Shawn.

“Did you, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’”

“Well, um, yes!”, Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out.

“I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?”

“Yeah, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died and left me everything.”

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.”

The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you protect the public.” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system.”

The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.

Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, “OK, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.”

The preacher is shocked and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!”

St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, “This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed.”

A Boeing 787 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at about 700 mph at over 30,000 feet, when suddenly a jet fighter with a speed of Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Boeing and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Yo Boeing, boring flight isn’t it? Now watch this!”

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the B-787 and asks: “Well, how was that?”

The B-787 pilot answers: “Very impressive, but watch this!”

The jet pilot watches the 787, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Boeing pilot radios, “Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, “What did you do?”

The Boeing pilot laughs and says: “I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry.”

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important. This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.

Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.