Harry The History Hound's Hysterical Historical Facts And Jokes - preview

Follow Har ry

the History Hound

through a hilarious hoard

of facts and jokes . . .

From ridiculous royals to

knee-slapping knights, this hysterically funny book will make you and your

laugh your heads off!

£4.99 www.nosycrow.com COVER ARTWORK © SARAH HORNE 2016

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Keep an eye out for more books from

Nosy Crow and the National Trust!

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First published 2016 by Nosy Crow Ltd The Crow’s Nest, 10a Lant Street London SE1 1QR www.nosycrow.com ISBN 978 0 85763 619 5 Nosy Crow and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Nosy Crow Ltd Text © Tracey Turner 2016 Illustrations © Sarah Horne 2016 The right of Tracey Turner to be identified as the author and Sarah Horne to be identified as the illustrator of this work has been asserted.

All rights reserved This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Nosy Crow Ltd. A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Printed and bound in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives Plc. Papers used by Nosy Crow are made from wood grown in sustainable forests.

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What do you get if you cross Henry V’s fool with a football team?

M ad Je st er U ni te d.

That one ma de me howl!

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What do you call a knight who likes jousting?

Sir Lance- alot.

Why did knights swap places with one another before a tournament?

It w as th e kn ig ht sh if t.

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STINKY FACT In Victorian times, ‘pure collectors’ gathered dog poo from the streets.

They sold it to tanners, who used it in the horrible and smelly leather-making process.

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What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in Arctic ice?

‘S hi ve r m e tim be rs !’

Who invented fire?

S om e br ig ht sp ar k.

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What did Henry VIII become on his 21st birthday?

A ye ar ol de r.

f James VII o n so d n ra g y n Which skin king of Britain? tried to become

h a r li e .

C e c in r P y e n o B

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PUTRID PLAGUE FACT There were plenty of revolting cures for the Black Death, the plague that struck Britain in 1348. One was to strap a live chicken to a plague sore.

When did early people become more smartly d ressed?

In the Iron Ag e.

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What is the favourite theme park ride of Anne Boleyn’s ghost?

Th e rol lergh os ter.

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FATAL FACT The Earl of Huntly led a rebellion against Mary Queen of Scots. His rebellion was defeated and he was killed in battle, but Mary wanted his land, and the only way to get it was to have the Earl convicted of treason. So the Earl’s body was put on trial, found guilty and beheaded.

if you cross t e g u o y o d What a vampire? h it w t h ig n ak

u r. o m r a g n i n i A bite in sh

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Which inventor caused a revolution?

The inve ntor of the whe el.

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?

Be ca us e th e po or di dn ’t ha ve an yt hi ng w or th st ea lin g.

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Why did Captain Hook cross the roa

d?

To ge t to th e se co nd -h an d sh op .

FOUL FACT Ugh, I feel a bit

ruff!

In the Middle Ages, castle toilets emptied into the moat or a toilet pit.

People kept their clothes in toilets because the smell kept moths away.

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STINKY FACT The smell of sewage in the River Thames was so bad during the hot summer of 1858 that it became known as the Great Stink. Sheets dipped in powerful chemicals were hung at the windows of the House of Commons to keep out the terrible whiff.

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What was Henry VIII’s biggest worry?

Hi s rec ed ing he ir lin e.

Where did knights go to eat their dinner?

A n al l-k ni gh t di ne r.

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