BRING JOY NOT PAIN

By: Imam Sikander Ziad Hashmi, Ottawa, Ontario

This Khutba has been Formatted into an Article.

Imagine a person walking with a heavy load, and the load keeps falling. This heavy load is not manageable, he is unable to move forward, he is clearly struggling. Or you see someone who is injured, walking with crutches and has a cast. In such situations, most people would try to help. They would offer a helping hand. Of course, that would be the right thing to do.

حَدَّثَنَا عُبَيْدُ بْنُ أَسْبَاطِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ الْقُرَشِيُّ، حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، قَالَ حُدِّثْتُ عَنْ أَبِي صَالِحٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " مَنْ نَفَّسَ عَنْ مُسْلِمٍ كُرْبَةً مِنْ كُرَبِ الدُّنْيَا نَفَّسَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ كُرْبَةً مِنْ كُرَبِ يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ وَمَنْ يَسَّرَ عَلَى مُعْسِرٍ فِي الدُّنْيَا يَسَّرَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالآخِرَةِ وَمَنْ سَتَرَ عَلَى مُسْلِمٍ فِي الدُّنْيَا سَتَرَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالآخِرَةِ وَاللَّهُ فِي عَوْنِ الْعَبْدِ مَا كَانَ الْعَبْدُ فِي عَوْنِ أَخِيهِ " . قَالَ وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ وَعُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ . قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ . وَقَدْ رَوَى أَبُو عَوَانَةَ وَغَيْرُ وَاحِدٍ هَذَا الْحَدِيثَ عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ عَنْ أَبِي صَالِحٍ عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم نَحْوَهُ وَلَمْ يَذْكُرُوا فِيهِ حُدِّثْتُ عَنْ أَبِي صَالِحٍ .

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "Whoever relieves a Muslim of a burden from the burdens of the world, Allah will relieve him of a burden from the burdens on the Day of Judgement. And whoever helps ease a difficulty in the world, Allah will grant him ease from a difficulty in the world and in the Hereafter. And whoever covers (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will cover (his faults) for him in the world and the Hereafter. And Allah is engaged in helping the worshipper as long as the worshipper is engaged in helping his brother."( Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1930)

There are two sides to this coin. One is to help people in difficulty; but on the flip side, is to actively take part in being empathetic, and strictly avoid making trouble for others.

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: Don't nurse grudge and don't bid him out for raising the price and don't nurse aversion or enmity and don't enter into a transaction when the others have entered into that transaction and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. The piety is here, (and while saying so) he pointed towards his chest thrice. It is a serious evil for a Muslim that he should look down upon his brother Muslim. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in faith: his blood, his wealth and his honour. (Sahih Muslim 2564a)

In this world sadly, there are many people who fall and struggle, or who are injured, in ways that we cannot see. Perhaps they have experienced oppression, injustice, or horrible acts of violence and war, that have left them traumatized.

They are facing the effects of being deprived, of being hurt, of being discriminated against. but we often don't see that - we only see the effects. Most often, too many times, society judges based on the effects without realizing or recognizing the context.

Many times, you see people who are involved in substance abuse and crime, but it's not because they are necessarily bad people, but it's a consequence of the wrongs that were done to them or the deprivation they faced as children. You see people who behave a certain way which you don't like or look down upon, perhaps even rightly so, but they're like that because of what they have been through.

Sometimes, the effects of war, injustice, discrimination, and other types of oppression are not limited to the people who were directly impacted, but the effects pass on to their children. referred to as intergenerational trauma.

Perhaps one of the reasons oppression will be darkness for the oppressor on the day of judgment could be because it often makes life dark and hopeless for victims in this world.

As human beings, we tend to judge and make assumptions based on what is apparent to us, so be empathetic. It is Allah SWT who has the complete view and absolutely complete knowledge of everything and everyone. He will judge accordingly, and His judgment will be the most just and the most fair. So, leave the judgment to Allah.

Each person could be carrying the burden or effects of something that we do not know or that we cannot see, perhaps therefore we are encouraged to bring joy to others

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah, which of the people is dearest to Allah? And which deeds are dearest to Allah? The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The dearest of people to Allah, may He be exalted, is the one who does most benefit to people, and the dearest of deeds to Allah, may He be exalted, is joy that you bring to a Muslim, or relieving him of distress or sorrow تَكَشِفُ عَنْهُ كُرْبَةً, or paying off debt for him, or dispelling his hunger. And to walk with a brother to meet his needs is dearer to me than observing i‘tikaaf in this mosque – meaning the mosque of Madinah – for a month.”( Narrated by at-Tabaraani (12/453); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Targheeb (955). )

It's one thing to remove distress, pay off debt, dispel hunger -- all things that you would need to be aware of. But even bringing joy to another unconditionally, without them being visibly in need, is from the dearest of deeds to Allah.

Subhan Allah!

Sometimes, it's a smile that brings joy to a person who is down. A simple genuine greeting, a kind comment, sometimes it's listening to their story of pain and suffering would do - I call it the charity of our ears. It might not solve their problem or difficulty, but even having someone who will listen can help a person through their pain and struggle.

Yesterday on the radio I heard an indigenous grandmother describing how happy she felt when white people and others showed up to show solidarity with them) ...

نْ لَمْ تَنْفَعْهُ فَلَا تَضُرُّهُ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَسُرُّهُ فَلَا تَغُمُّهُ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَمْدَحْهُ فَلَا تَذُمَّهُ

Abu al-Layth al-Samarqandi reported: Yahya ibn Mu’adh, RH, said, “If you cannot benefit, then do not harm. If you cannot bring joy, then do not bring distress. If you cannot praise, then do not blame.” [Tanbih al-Ghafilin, 1/165].

Amah bint Khalid RA was born during the first emigration to Abyssinia. She reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) was given some clothes including a black Khamisa. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "To whom shall we give this to wear?" The people kept silent whereupon the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Fetch Um Khalid for me." I (Um Khalid) was brought carried (as I was small girl at that time). The Prophet (ﷺ) took the Khamisa in his hands and made me wear it and said, أَبْلِي وَأَخْلِقِي "May you live so long that your dress will wear out and you will mend it many times." On the Khamisa there were some green or pale designs (The Prophet (ﷺ) saw these designs) and said, "O Um Khalid! This is Sanah." (Sanah in an Ethiopian word meaning beautiful). (Sahih al-Bukhari 5823)

This small gift and gesture by our Prophet (SAW) made Amah bint Kahlid happy, it made a lifelong memory for her, so much so that she narrated this hadith as an older woman. The truth of the matter is that we all have the opportunity everyday to either bring joy to others or bring pain to others, it is our choice which we choose. One will help build our life and hereafter with joy and the other will not.

Simple caring gestures, kind words, a listening ear is what you need, not some complicated devices. Use them often as they are completely free.

Snippets:

- Let us not judge, leave the judging to Allah SWT

- Be kind and compassionate, try to remove hardship, relieve burden in whichever way possible

- Even if no hardship is apparent, try to bring joy to others

- If we can't help, then at the very least do not harm, distress, or blame

May Allah SWT make us those who bring joy to others, who's presence relieves sorrow and distress of other, may Allah remove our sorrows and worries, and those of all our brothers and sisters in faith and humanity. Ameen Ya Rabb ul Aalameen

Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash