NorthWest Muslim Magazine

Your Issues Your Voice

Winter 2020-21

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appiness is a commonly discussed topic these days. I have also indulged in quite a bit of reading on the topic. From what I understand, happiness is not quantitative and does not have the same qualitative value for everyone. It is certain that we need some sustenance to be happy. However, having a lot of wealth and resources beyond what we need, does not make us happier. For example, for a person who is living in a 1000 square foot house, which is comfortable for him and his family, a 2000 square foot home will not bring him long-term happiness. Similarly, if 1 piece of steak a day satisfies our hunger and makes us happy, 2 steaks a day will not double our happiness.

On the contrary, it might make us sick from overeating.

‫َألْهَ ٰى م مُك ألتَّ َ​َكث ممر َح َّ َّٰت مز ْر م مُت ألْ َم َقا ِب َر‬ “Competition for more gains˺ diverts you from Allah˺, until you end up in your graves.” Quran 102:1-2 Allah tells us in the above Ayah that having more and chasing for more does not benefit us. This chase behind ‘Go big or go home’ is a fruitless chase, which will inevitably end at the grave. Instead, being content is a virtue which can increase our happiness exponentially.

For this issue, our writers have brought forward a variety of ideas and discussion. The balance and satisfaction regarding food intake is discussed in ‘Food for Thought’. The dangers and impact of the internet on kids is examined in ‘The Social Media Mirage’. ‘No Kids Yet’ explores the un(Continued on page 3)

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fair judgments we level on each other. ‘Fair Game?’, ‘Dealing with Trials’ and ‘The Choice, Is it Truly Ours’ discuss important social issues, impacting our daily lives. ‘Beyond Intention’ gives us an idea of the background processors churning and ‘Me, Myself & I!” (a three-part series) probes into the what, why, and how, of narcissism. Stay tuned for the next two parts.

Once again, I would like to thank all the writers, editors, and proofreaders who have put their precious time and much effort to make this issue possible. I also want to extend my gratitude to the readers for reading, sharing, and expressing their enthusiasm. Thank you. Jazakallah khair!

Photo By Han Chenxu on Unsplash

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Contents Editorial

2

Beyond Intentions

6

Me, Myself & I

12

The Social Media Mirage

18

Dealing with Trials

24

No Kids Yet!

28

The Choice! Is it Truly Ours?

36

Food for Thought

38

That One Chair

42

Fair Game?

46

Taco de Cameron

50

Back Cover

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Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

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Our Team Our Editors:

Our Writers:

Beenish Khurshid, Rabia Khan

Ahsan Ayub

Ayesha Nasir

Editor, Proofreaders:

Beenish Khurshid,

Madiha Khurshid, Harris Nami

Fozia Khan,

Editor-in-Chief, Layout,

Rahmatulllah Siddiqui

Design & Illustrations:

Shabnam Lakhani,

Shaista Khurshid

& Shaista Khurshid

Recipe Submission:

Quran and Hadith Quotes

Aun Husnain

www. Quran.com , www.Sunnah.com

Contact Us Send us a line at: northwestmuslim@gmail.com View us at : https://issuu.com/northwestmuslim/

Interact & Follow us at: https://www.facebook.com/NorthWestMuslim/ 5

CRITICAL THINKING

Photo by Nicolette Meade on Unsplash

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By: Shaista Khurshid , Calgary Alberta

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hat is an intention and why do we intend? Is it autonomous or are there deeper notions churning beneath? What ideas and voices constitute our decisions?

Beyond intentions explores the deeper beliefs embedded inside our subconscious, which manifest their power when we make decisions.

This article explores the ways we can become more mindful and more in control of our intentions.

Every opinion we form or action we take, has a presumption. Our intentions are formed with the careful and meticulous work of our minds. These are the products of complex thought processes that span a wide range of cognitive behaviours. It includes our creativity, upbringing, experiences, belief systems, personal narratives, and pressures of the societies we live in.

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Every intention has:

its purpose. There may be several wide-ranging purposes of an intention. The purpose could be based

∙ A purpose, which determines why we on necessity, judgement or expectaare doing it. tions from surrounding people, out ∙ A benefactor, which decides who and of the goodness of our hearts, or what we want to satisfy. fear of missing the boat. It could be

∙ A peddler, our core assumption, and that we think that we deserved it or our personal narrative. A voice in our it has been done for ages by our parents and society. Whatever we heads which pushes our beliefs. think our purpose of action is, our psyches subconsciously validate Together they act as a background and rationalize the deed for us. processor for our intentions, which

then manifests into an action.

ْ

ْ

َّ

‫ي َ ٰـٰٓأَُّيه َا أ َِّل َين َءا َمنمو ۟ا َ​َل تم ْب ِطلمو ۟ا َصدَ قَ ٰـتِ مُك بِأل َم ِن َوأ َْل َذ ٰى‬ “I heard Allah's Messenger )‫(ﷺ‬saying, ‫َك َّ َِّلى يمن ِف مق َم َاَلمۥ ِرئَا ٰٓ َء ألنَّ ِاس َو َ​َل ي م ْؤ ِم من بِأ َّ َِّلل َوألْ َي ْو ِم‬ "The reward of deeds depend upon the intentions and every person will get the ‫اب فَأَ َصابَهمۥ َوا ِب ٌۭل‬ ٌۭ ‫ألْـَا ِخ ِر ۖ فَ َمث مَُلمۥ َ​َكَث َِل َص ْف َو ٍان عَلَ ْي ِه تم َر‬ reward according to what he has in‫َش ٍۢء ِم َّما َك َس مبو ۟ا ۗ َوأ َّ مَّلل َ​َل‬ َ ‫فَ َ َ​َت َكهمۥ َص ْ ًْۭلا ۖ ََّل ي َ ْق ِد مر‬ ْ َ ‫ون عَ َ َٰل‬ tended. So, whoever emigrated for ‫ُّيَ ْ ِدى ألْ َق ْو َم أ ْل َك ٰـ ِف ِر َين‬ worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he “O believers! Do not waste your charity with reminders ˹of your generosity or emigrated for." Sahih-al-Bukhari– 1 hurtful words, like those who donate their wealth just to show-off and do not believe in Allah or the Last Day. Their THE PURPOSE example is that of a hard-barren rock When we ask ourselves, ‘Why are covered with a thin layer of soil hit by a we doing it?’ This question reveals (Continued on page 9) 8

(Continued from page 8)

heavy rain—leaving it just a bare stone. Such people are unable to preserve the reward of their charity. Allah does not guide ˹such disbelieving people.” Quran 2:264

people, systems, family, society, or simply to feel good.

If the action is done to satisfy our egos, we are gratifying our ego - it makes us believe how lofty and great we are to have done such and such. If we are doing the action to

The BENEFICIARY

make others happy, those ‘others’ are our beneficiary. If the back-

For every intention we make, ground voice suggests that people there is someone or something should be the audience of my benefiting from it. This subcon- greatness; then, we are feeding our scious benefactor is not necessarily hypocritical self. The catch is, the

“

A knife in the hands of a butcher yields a completely different result than a murderer, based on the intentions of who is wielding the knife.”

a direct recipient of the action. It is beneficiary (the one we want to apa hidden voice or desire inside us, pease), does not know or have to which guides us to the subject we know, that they are being ap-

want to appease. When we ask our- peased. selves a question; whom and what do we want to satisfy with this action? The answer is the beneficiary of the action.

Like some society prefers boys over girls. In those societies, regardless

how much they say that they love Beneficiaries can be ego, faith, per- them equally, their actions will benfection, self, or validation. It could

be seeking approval from Allah,

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our upbringing, education, expe-

efit the boys over girls. The boys riences or traumatic incidents might not be able to compre- creates its base. Thus, when our hend that they are being implic- beliefs and biases are formed, itly favored or even reject the the emotions, vices and narraidea of unequal treatment.

Another example of this would

tives become the peddlers.

If we see ones who are raised

be if person X donates money in where perfection is demanded, order to show off to person Y. they will insist on or at least exPerson Y is the beneficiary of pect perfection in their lives.

Person X’s action. The interest- They will judge themselves and ing part about this is that person others based on this lens and Y does not benefit or possibly discard what they think is slightdoes not even know that person ly imperfect.

X is doing this action to appease Similarly, those who have seen them. that people with money get

THE PEDDLER

what they want, might gravitate towards power and money. Or if in an environment where people

Every intention has its pedof certain skin tones are prividler. Our peddlers are the narraleged, those who live there inadtives we believe and the biases vertently prefer the privileged we hold. These are the voices in people in their dealings or hold our heads which give us the negative bias against people tools, the push, the drive. with the other skin tones. These When we ask ourselves, what are deeply embedded peddlers play our basic assumptions? We will a role in forming our intentions, understand the peddler behind

it. The mindset made through

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tors to ourselves, because then we

(Continued from page 10)

which we are usually unaware of.

ِ َ‫ون َأ ْم َ َٰو ل َ مه مم أبْتِ َغا ٰٓ َء َم ْرض‬ ‫ات أ َّ َِّلل َوتَثْبِي ًۭتا‬ َ ‫َو َمث َ مل أ َّ َِّل َين يمن ِف مق‬ ‫ِم ْن َأن مف ِسه ِْم َ​َكَث َِل َجن َّ ٍۭة ِب َربْ َو ٍة َأ َصاَبَ َا َوا ِب ٌۭل فَـَات َْت ُأ مُكَهَا‬ ‫ون ب َ ِصير‬ َ ‫ِض ْع َف ْ ِْي فَان ل َّ ْم ي م ِص ْ​ْبَا َوا ِب ٌۭل فَ َط ٌّۭل ۗ َوأ َّ مَّلل ِب َما تَ ْع َملم‬ ِ “And the example of those who donate their wealth, seeking Allah’s pleasure and believing the reward is certain,1 is that of a garden on a fertile hill: when heavy rain falls, it yields up twice its normal produce. If no heavy rain falls, a drizzle is sufficient. And Allah is AllSeeing of what you do. “Quran 2:265

start judging ourselves against a criterion defined only by Allah. When the goal becomes to please Allah then the perspective of why, what, how and whom to please changes.

Moreover, the earlier objectives - to

satisfy our own greed, power, racism, chauvinism and much more objectives we didn't even know we had - lose their credibility and become an alternative, less pressing reality.

Seen through this lens, this world then rightfully becomes the ground on which we cultivate our deeds

A BUTCHER

OR A

MURDERER

“A knife in the hands of a butcher yields a completely different result than a murderer, based on the intentions of who is wielding the knife.”

purposefully and wisely and set our intentions straight and in order. Only then we will be able to see the differences between actions of either pure or crooked intentions.

Only then we will be able to distinguish between right or wrong intentions successfully.

When we take hold of our intentions and the background voices

that form them, we become men11

EXHILARATING

An In-depth Look At Narcissism

Me, Myself & I! By: Fozia Khan, Mississauga, Ontario Fozia Khan is an Al Balagh Academy Certified Islamic Psychology L1 Anthroposophical Psychology Counselor. Currently studiying Political Science, Philosophy and Islamic Psychology . She has a background in Journalism. She is also a Visual Artist and a Writer.

Photo By: Erda Estremera on Unsplash

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Part 1 : Clarity, From Healthy to Unhealthy

A Three Part Series 1. Clarity Around Narcissism, From Healthy to Unhealthy 2. Understanding the Story of Narcissism, Ancient Greek (Unani) and Islamic Perspectives 3. Spiritual Approaches and Discovery of the Nafs

T

here are derstand issues presented many im- in clinical settings. It’s important portant to find some clari-

terms and concepts that need clarity today for the layman, but one such term has turned

ty about these terms and use them as best intended: as an avenue to learn more about yourself or

up more so in recent popularity: “Narcissism.” Since it is entering popular culture, with some saying this “condition” is on the

others, without which could result in misunderstandings, unintended harm or hurt. Very problematically, it might also

rise, we begin by asking what do we mean by it, and what is it actually describing?

lead to oversimplification and much confusion about something that needs to be understood

especially from a more We might hear this term holistic spiritual perspecthrown around that psytive gifting hope, compaschologists or psychother(Continued on page 14) apists use to better un13

ting them in their proper place. At the other end of the spectrum is selfsion, and forgiveness and creative absorption, an over-inflated ego, and (Continued from page 13)

ways to find solutions to difficult an idealized picture of themselves. problems.

Such a person is preoccupied with what gratifies the self and has comWe aim at making distinctions beplete disregard for the feelings of othtween what is broadly understood as ers. They exhibit a lack of sincere conNarcissism and general Narcissistic cern, and manipulate or force others tendencies on a spectrum. These to serve them. range between very subtle and “normal” characteristics of Narcissism, When narcissistic individuals are imto severe imbalances reaching the balanced to the point of a personality point of a “personality disorder” diag- disorder, it causes a distinct and connosis.

tinuous pattern of disturbance to self and others. It is something that is Generally, when the term “Narcissism” identified by therapists and known as is used, it is categorized as a problemnarcissistic personality disorder. atic and undesirable personality. There are two extremes that must be avoided with Narcissism on a spectrum. On “Narcissistic personality disorder one end of this spectrum, the narcis- (NPD) is a disorder in which a person sistic individual has little to no regard toward themselves and has low selfworth. However, this is manifested in an unconscious and neglectful way, and may breed resentment. This is not “selflessness;” it is not virtuous to deny ourselves what is required to be healthy. We must strive to become more conscious and practice justice by attending to all elements of life, put-

feels more important than others. A person with NPD will feel an unreasonable sense of entitlement. They will also have a big ego. Narcissists feel more important than others. As a result, they struggle with relationships and behavioral issues. It is possible for someone to have condescending traits, but NPD is more than just hav(Continued on page 15)

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ality Disorder, is considered a serious and disruptive mental condition that is ing a pompous attitude. A narcissist diagnosed under the Diagnostics and (Continued from page 14)

has an inflated ego. This ego causes interpersonal, relationship and career issues for them. Narcissists often fail to see the fault in their behaviors and tend to behave in a way that is dismissive of others.” 1

Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). There are many kinds of Narcissistic Personality Disorders, but all are characterized with lack of empathy, idealized sense of self as a mask to cover-up insecurities, manipulation of others, ingratitude and blaming of others.

We hope to have the ability to recognize who we are and our relationships In between these two extremes are day by day, moment by moment, in- the stages of the person who is disside and outside. On one hand, healthy aspects of “Self-Care” are necessary and are a sign of good health.

Necessary concern for a person’s wellbeing and taking steps to care for

covering themselves, their habits and thoughts, average difficulties and disturbances, and healthy challenges.

These issues can usually be easily resolved by refining one’s character and

themselves to survive and enjoy life are key aspects of self-care. Taking time to breathe, eat, pray, exercise, spend time with friends and family, pursue hobbies, while also attending

developing skills to deal with troublesome tendencies. Consistency is key.

There is considerable information from Islamic sources on how to find such solutions. Practices and virtues

to household and job duties, are necessary for the maintenance of body and soul. They also help lift spirits in gratitude to God for this beautiful life.

mentioned in the Quran, embodied by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the most perfect guide, are excellent remedies.

On the other hand, intense selfabsorption, called Narcissistic Person-

(Continued on page 16)

1. Guarino, G. (2019, July 8 ). The Different Types Of Narcissism. Psych Point. https:// th

www.psychpoint.com/mental-health/articles/the-different-types-of-narcissism/ 15

more holistically. From the rich depths of the history of Islam, where much From one perspective, narcissism is an has been developed in the overlap(Continued from page 15)

ancient, age-old struggle, the term ping spheres of Lifestyle, Psychology, being derived from Greek Mythology. Theology and Philosophy, integrating It is a primordial struggle that has a picture of Afiyah (Wellbeing). been present since creation. Special There can be quite a bit of frustration spiritual attention is given in sacred around this issue for a person encounscripture, and spiritual practices that tering Narcissism in themselves or help to curb narcissistic-like tendenothers, which is generally best investicies. These are described as remedies gated by a therapist, and even better, for purifying the soul inclined to harm a spiritually informed therapist. Some (as described in classical Islamic literamight find a strange and frustrating ture). These give guidance toward self life pattern where nothing is going -awareness and peace within, for a right and others aren’t doing what “serene soul.” they “should” be doing to make you There is much discussion around how happy. Some might find that no matbest to understand and treat more se- ter how much they try, they cannot vere cases, what loved-ones might do to help a relative or a friend, and what a person could do to help themselves if in such a relationship. Often parental and marital relationships are of partic-

please the person in their life. This might be accompanied with symptoms of severe stress or depression.

These situations would benefit from an integrative approach including selfular concern. I share some resources reflection, guided dialogue and prayer at the end of this article that might as a means to self-discovery and comprovide information to help support passionate empowerment. If in a relaand navigate such situations. tionship with an individual with NarIn the last decade we are seeing a cissistic Personality Disorder, it’s best movement toward and an acceptance to begin to agree upon a therapist to of a spiritual lens to examine matters

(Continued on page 17)

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continue this dialogue. In my experience, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) or Dialogue Therapy are excellent beginnings. One might even be blessed to find a Traditionally Integrated Islamic (TIIP) therapist.

addressed in an Islamic perspective paying attention to what we now are discovering, or re-discovering, in Islamic Spiritual Psychology. In the final issue, we will explore how we can integrate such knowledge.

Psychotherapy

As a general rule, it is advised to calmly sit back and observe as objectively as possible. One excellent way, strongly suggested by experts, and successful in my personal experience, is to privately journal observations about things that are coming up again and again, discerning a pattern for better bearings on circumstances, relationships and life events. Emotions can be confusing especially when you love a person, but recording and observing emotions and core feelings are always important indicators and

an opportunity to learn from a situation by more neutrally observing them without suppressing them.

In the next issue, I will delve into the origins of Narcissism in mythology, as it tells a story with a symbolic lesson about a universal human condition, and how this is seen, understood and

Further Reading: “Narcissism: Denial of the True Self,” by Alexander Lowen, M.D. “From Victim to Victor: Narcissism Survival Guide,” by Dr. Mariette Jansen

“But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath” by Dr. Sherrie Campbell “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson “Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships.” By Dr. Sue Johnson

Reference: Guarino, G. (2019, July 8 ). The Different Types Of Narcissism.

Psych Point. https:// www.psychpoint.com/mentalhealth/articles/the-different-typesof-narcissism/ th

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THOUGHT PROVOKING

Editor’s Note: Contains discussion suitable for Adult Audience

By: Rahamatullah Siddique, Vancouver, British Columbia

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sk yourself: when was the last time you

oversaw what your child was doing on a device? The fact is, for a community that prides itself on things like family values, we have now allowed a new “family” member to join us – the device. The familiarity of social media gives us a sense of (Continued on page 19)

Photo By Shaista Khurshid

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security, but that this apparent certainty is actually a mirage.

gram, or Facebook have open access to our cameras, microphones and personal data. Besides the dangers that this possesses for adults, our

Devices are now a staple in our lives, and tragically, it is impossible to live without them. Leaving the house? It's imperative we have our

children are put at even greater risk.

Recent studies have shown that marketing companies are now targeting children with algorithms designed to

phone even before we ensure the kids are buckled in. However, the real danger now lies in the upbringing of our children. Many parents have now turned to handheld devices as a par-

detect a child’s face in the device's camera. This helps organizations and predators gain access to your children. Privacy rights? Yeah, nonexistent.

(Continued from page 18)

enting aid, whether they want to accept it or not. We walk through malls or parks and see kids glued to a phone or tablet. It begs the question: who really is raising our children?

More importantly, what are our children being exposed to?

Digital devices are great tools. Just like any power tool, they require training and maturity to use. Ask yourself: would you give a child a power saw and leave them unsupervised? Unsupervised internet access grants children access to anything you can imagine importantly, our phones even give third parties access to our homes and children. Applica-

Let’s set the 'marketing' point of view aside. We have all accepted that today’s society is running on consumerism and capitalism, whether we like it or not. Sadly, there is something much more dangerous occurring. The unmonitored use of devices is causing our children to fall into sin. Please note that this article is not about how the use of devices could be haraam. It can lead us away from the time we can be making dhikr. Or it can delay our salah. Even though those views are not completely wrong, I want us to be informed about real issues. So, I will touch on three major issues. The idea is to spark thought.

(Continued on page 20)

tions like TikTok, Whatsapp, Insta19

on the most.

(Continued from page 19)

Pornography Whether we want to accept it or not, little Aisha and Hussien are at a greater risk of falling into pornographic addiction with the use of

phones. The growing brains of children cannot comprehend the vast and huge traumatic effect of porn. On the other hand, we as adults have been so accustomed to the widespread sexualized content in our society, that we don’t even notice it. Furthermore, we are able to “tune it out”.

We can come across that obscene popup, skip it, and move on with our life. But our children, though desensitized, are led down a dark rabbit hole of sexual content, and exposure to predators. Most kids are exposed to sexual content at a young age. Human beings are wired to be aroused by that content from the time puberty begins. Kids don’t even realize what they are seeing is haram, because it has become so normal. To top it all off, parents refuse to address the taboo topics, even though these are

At the teenage years, curiosity leads our youth further into the pornographic world, which leads to addiction. This seems like a stretch, but it really isn’t. Think about the last time you got lost watching YouTube videos, one after another, and then combine that with the rush of sexual arousal. We are commanded by Allah to stay celibate until marriage, which is a hard-enough struggle for us. Parents are worried about our kids falling into sin in real life, when in reality, they are falling into sin in the digital world much more often.We choose to turn a blind eye to this reality. The harmful social and psychological impacts of being exposed to this material are substantial. Pornography also leads to unrealistic expectations in marriage. Our children are led into sin, and don’t even understand it's wrong, solely because we trusted our new member of the family, the device.

Sexual content is everywhere. We are submerged in it. We like to pretend that our kids are not seeing it, (Continued on page 21)

the topics that need to be touched 20

when they are absorbing it like a

With the struggle to maintain our Muslim identity and spiritual values being at an all time high, our youth

sponge. More education is needed, informing them on the negative psychological and social impacts as well as the religious implications. It is

are more susceptible to bullying and rejection from their peers. They look for support, a friend who wants to listen, sometimes that “friend� is some-

a big sin to even look at such content. Allah commands us to lower our gaze and zina that can be committed with the eye. These two very crucial topics are needed to be addressed

one they have only ever met online.

We were instructed from a religious standpoint that the company we keep is a particularly important factor in our spiritual wellbeing, so how can

today. We need to wake up!

this not apply to digital communications? Ask yourself, do you truly know who your child is speaking to online?

What exactly is your child exposed

(Continued from page 20)

Predators Social media apps have enabled the predators of the world to have nearly unlimited access to children.

We all have apps like Instagram or Snapchat, and it is these very apps that make it easy to talk to strangers, in ways that are sometimes untraceable. More importantly, our kids have no idea of who they are even talking to, which is a problem. Children and teens are led to speak to strangers that appear to care for them, or even love them, making our kids feel comfortable to open up in ways you can never imagine.

too, and are you okay with it?

Apps All applications are built with some sort of attraction or benefit to captivate the consumers. Otherwise they will become obsolete. Similarly, an application like Snapchat, something all the kids love, has utility because they have cheesy filters. This app can share your location publicly, allow you to transmit messages/pictures/videos (Continued on page 22)

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(Continued from page 21)

without any history or evidence, and add strangers to chat within your vicinity with a few taps. We train our kids to keep good company, to build trust, to adhere to caution, then we give them access to an application that can get them connected to a pervert within seconds of opening it.

Physical Implications As a Karate Instructor for many years, I can personally attest to what toll heavy device dependence takes on the adults of tomorrow. You will find that hand eye coordination plummets, along with reflex

speed, and overall balance. (Let's leave the effect on social skills for another time). Why is this an issue? These skills are necessary for survival. Watch how youth are glued to a screen, unaware of their surroundings (sight, sound, or touch). These skills, and spatial awareness is critical to development. A device cannot replace playing in the sandbox, kicking a ball, or running in the park. Kids need to experience this in order to develop. We need to push our kids to get involved in more hands-on activities, and experience the world around them.

So why is it that we are turning a blind eye to the dangers that exist? Are we choosing to be ignorant?

Are we believing that our child is a perfect child, in(Continued on page 23)

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capable of committing sin? Perhaps we feel that since everyone is providing their kids with devices, we need to as well, so they are not left out. Or, and I say this with caution, we begin to enjoy the luxury of a quiet, maintenance free child, which occurs once they have that device in their hand.

To those who stand by statements like “SubhanAllah, this would never have occurred back home”, I’d like to stop you right there. The fact is this occurs back home more than you want to accept. WiFi and mobile internet have enabled this to occur anywhere in the world, not to mention the sex culture that exists in secret in the streets and homes of other nations. It's there, whether we want to accept it or not. Most of the older generation is stuck in a time warp, saying that back home is perfect, sadly that so-called “perfection” only existed in the earlier days or we are delusional about our pasts too.

What I am hoping to achieve is to lead to the realization that we as adults in our community need to pay attention to the dangers our youth are exposed to. We had the luxury of being disconnected.

They no longer do.

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INSPIRATIONAL

By: Beenish Khurshid, Montreal Quebec

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

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T

here are times in our

Battle of the Trench - a battle in

life that we are put in a

which the Muslims dug a trench

position where our

around Madinah as a defense, and

basic needs are not be- were laid siege upon. Facing hunger

ing met, where we are suffering, and

as well as treachery and armed con-

in physical pain. There are times

flict, with no clear path to ease.

when we don't see any hope for those needs being met, and we

"O you who have believed, remember

don't see a way out of the pain and

the favor of Allah upon you when ar-

suffering.

mies came to [attack] you and We sent upon them a wind and armies [of an-

Maybe you have had experience with this, having lost a job and find-

gels] you did not see. And ever is Allah, of what you do, Seeing. [Remember]

ing no means to make ends meet.

when they came at you from above you

Maybe you are seriously ill and are

and from below you, and when eyes

finding no clear path to treatment.

shifted [in fear], and hearts reached the

Or maybe you find yourself longing

throats and you assumed about Allah

for a life partner, with no means of

[various] assumptions." )33:9-10(

finding one. These are some very trying challenges.

The Muslims were put in a position of extreme fear and uncertainty, so

These times remind me of this verse: much so that their hearts felt like they were reaching their throats.

"There the believers were tested and shaken with a severe shaking." )33:11(

Have you ever felt this kind of fear (Continued on page 26)

The context of this verse is the 25

(Continued from page 25)

in a situation?

that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what

We often start having doubts about

He has given you. And Allah does not

Allah (SWT) in situations like these. Is

like everyone self-deluded and boastful -

He here? Why is He putting me

" )57:22-23(

through this? Is He listening to my duas? Does this mean God doesn't love me? Is this a punishment for something I did? And so on. The voices become so pervasive in our heads that we don't even hear them anymore and the questions become

God is All-Powerful "If Allah should aid you, no one can overcome you; but if He should forsake you, who is there that can aid you after Him? And upon Allah let the believers rely." )3:160(

statements.

So how does one cope with such try-

God Answers Prayers

ing times?

"And when My servants ask you, [O MuThere is no easy way. But there are a

hammad], concerning Me - indeed I am

few tips we can take from the Qur'an

near. I respond to the invocation of the

and sunnah to help us approach

supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let

these trials with the right mindset,

them respond to Me [by obedience] and

and to put our hearts at ease.

believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided." )2:186(

Belief in Destiny: (Good and Bad both Come from Allah)

Life is a Test:

"No disaster strikes upon the earth or

"Do the people think that they will be left

among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being -

indeed that, for Allah, is easy - In order

to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?" )29:2( (Continued on page 27)

26

Belief in the Hereaf-

(Continued from page 26)

ter: Islam is an Ummah

"Say, "O My servants who have believed,

"The believing men and believing women

fear your Lord. For those who do good in

are allies of one another. They enjoin

this world is good, and the earth of Allah

what is right and forbid what is wrong

is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be

and establish prayer and give zakah and

given their reward without ac-

obey Allah and His Messenger. Those -

count."" )39:10(

Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise." )9:71(

In short, the whole Qur'an is a manual, a guide on how to face and overcome trials in this dunya. When trials

Patience & Prayer "And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]" )2:45(

Hope & Trust "And rely upon Allah ; and sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs." )33:3(

come, recognize it is inevitable, and it

is the nature of life. Reach out for help from your brothers and sisters in Islam - it is their responsibility to help you. But also know that Allah is the best of helpers at the end of the day.

Recognize that no matter what, God is with you, right here, right now. It

might get harder from here, but if there is anyone who can help you get through it, it is God. Just put your trust in Him.

27

COMPELLING

Photo by Daria Gorbacheva on Unsplash

28

Editor’s Note: Contains discussion suitable for Adult Audience

By: Ayesha Nasir, Hamilton Ontario

L

et me clarify, this that of a conversation bearticle is not an tween gardeners or farmers. attempt to divert “When will you have a child?” you from the im- we are asked. As, if a child is a

portance of raising children. seed planted by a man, or carBeing a parent is an immense ried by a woman, the foreresponsibility, especially em- most duty of a couple, is to bodying the gentle and loving produce as many children as parenting style of the Prophet possible. No, we must return Muhammad (peace be upon to the real purpose of our exhim).

istence: worshipping Allah, so that we may have the gardens

These days, our conversa- of Jannah. tions with people who are not yet parents seem to be like

"People, be mindful of your (Continued on page 30)

29

(Continued from page 29)

Now that I am married, I can

Lord, who created you from a single

confidently endorse the statement

soul, and from it created its mate, and

a south-Asian aunty made earlier

from the pair of them spread countless

in my life: that having a good gut

men and women far and wide..." )4:1(

feeling about someone and wanting to spend your life with them is

One of my motivators to marry

a good reason to marry them. Of

was that someday, I can have chil-

course, there are other things to

dren of my own. Not once did I ev-

look for too.

er stop to think how the basis of marriage went beyond reproduc-

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah

tion. I looked at potential candi-

that the Prophet said:

dates for marriage and wondered:

“A woman may be married for four

what kind of father he would be?

things: Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or for her religion. Choose the

Are love and kindness the basis of a marriage? Sometimes it felt

religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust )i.e., may you prosper(.”

like procreation is the basis, and love and kindness between two

People marry strangers all the

married people was a by-product,

time and happily grow into the re-

not the core Islamic reasoning of a

lationship. “Arranged” marriages

marriage.

are not outdated but neither are “love” marriages a cause for scan-

“Another of His signs is that He creat-

dal. There are different ways to de-

ed spouses from among yourselves for

cide on who to commit to, should

you to live with in tranquillity: He or-

we choose to marry at all. But if

dained love and kindness between

you find someone attractive, good-

you.” [Quran 30:21]

looking, and feel a spark when you (Continued on page 31)

30

(Continued from page 30)

ship, happiness, peace, and love as

look at them, that is a good reason to

the two first humans. They both

marry them - even if it is not the best

sinned together and sought for-

reason as per the hadith.

giveness from Allah together. The

Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

need to expand the family was an unsaid reality; But it was never hammered into them as an expectation.

Allah gifted them with children. Be-

“We do not see for those who love one

fore that, Allah gifted them with each

another anything like marriage.”

other. The only expectation, the accountability towards Allah and each

In the Quran, we find the story of

“

other, was to not disobey their Crea-

Rather than prodding and probing women )and men!( about when they will get married and have children, the Ummah needs to wake up to the reality that we are souls with much greater purpose.”

the first two humans: Adam (peace

tor and fulfill each other’s rights and

be upon him) and Hawa (peace be

responsibilities.

upon her). When God created Hawa, He asked both her and Adam to

In the many ahadith of the Proph-

dwell in Paradise with tranquility.

et Muhammad (peace be upon him),

They were not told to have children

there are few which talk about the

before they were sent to this earth.

Ummah multiplying. One of the had-

Their relationship lay beyond the

ith in question:

need of children. It was based on the

“Marry and increase in numbers, as I will take pride in you before other nations on the Day of Judgement”, is

need for companionship. They were made for each other. Together they

worshipped Allah and shared friend-

(Continued on page 32)

31

(Continued from page 31)

should factor in before even children are brought into the equation.

this. For this one hadith there are

Some men and in-laws are so ob-

by far more ahadith about how spouses should treat each other; to show love and focus on each other’s pleasure and well-being. “Do

sessed with having children or

not begin intercourse until she has experienced desire like the desire you experience, lest you fulfill your desires before she does.” [Al

“

grandchildren, that a man weaponizes divorce and remarriage, if their spouse did not give birth to a child or a male child. A word of caution to all those who preferred having boys over girls, that Allah

They do not need a marriage contract and a labour room story to be valued by the Ummah.”

Mughni, 8:36].

has forbidden us to think of girls as any less than boys; this is stated in

Due to a lack of proper Islamic education in Muslim communities including comprehensive Muslim sex education, we are not taught how to love or please our spouses as per the Prophet’s guidance. Many of us, men and women alike, do not even factor in women’s sexual satisfaction and believe that only men can and should be physically satisfied in a marriage. In a marriage, attraction and sexual satisfaction

multiple places in the Quran.

“To Allah alone belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates whatever He wills. He blesses whoever He wills with daughters, and blesses whoever He wills with sons, or grants both, sons and daughters, ˹to whoever He wills˺, and leaves whoever He wills infertile. He is indeed AllKnowing, Most Capable.” (42:49-50) (Continued on page 33)

32

(Continued from page 32)

placed on any human who could not reproduce.

Attraction may not be the strongest basis for a lifelong com-

“People, [remember,] if you doubt the

panionship, but it is an important

Resurrection, that We created you

component of a healthy and happy

from dust, then a drop of fluid, then a

relationship. We need to stop pre-

clinging form, then a lump of flesh,

tending that our Ummah is devoid

both shaped and unshaped: We mean

of desires, preferences, and sexual

to make Our power clear to you.

needs. The ahadith for Muslims to

Whatever We choose We cause to re-

fast if they cannot control their

main in the womb for an appointed

sexual urges exists only because

time, then We bring you forth as in-

those urges exist.

fants and then you grow and reach maturity. Some die young and some

When it comes to childbirth and

are left to live on to such an age that

childrearing, even the Prophets of

they forget all they once knew. You

Allah SWT were tested for how

sometimes see the earth lifeless, yet

they responded to not having chil-

when We send down water it stirs and

dren or to children in unusual cir-

swells and produces every kind of joy-

cumstances. There are multiple

ous growth� (22:5)

narrations of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who

The very existence of children is

grieved at children who passed

referred to as a test and a trial to

away. He buried the stillborn, mis-

see how the caregivers respond.

carried and deceased babies that were born into his family. There

"It is He who created you all from one

was no blame ever placed on the

soul, and from it made its mate so that

mother or father for the children

he might find comfort in her: when

who died. And neither was blame

(Continued on page 34)

33

(Continued from page 33)

one [of them] lies with his wife and she

From Asiya to Aisha (may Allah be

conceives a light burden, going about

pleased with them all), we have many

freely, then grows heavy, they both pray

examples of women in Islamic history

to God, their Lord, ‘If You give us a good

who show us that speaking truth hon-

child we shall certainly be grateful,’ and

ourably, spreading knowledge, and

yet when He gives them a good child they

being positively active in public life

ascribe some of what He has granted

are all ways to worship Allah. Are we

them to others." )7:189-190(

comfortable giving Muslim women

“Wealth and children are the adornment

those roles and spaces in society that

of this worldly life, but the everlasting

Allah praised them in the past for ex-

good deeds are far better with your Lord in reward and in hope”(18:28)

ercising?

It is easy to create boxes and squeeze women into. It is easy to proclaim in

Rather than prodding and probing

khutbahs and in drawing room con-

women (and men!) about when they

versations, how your biggest contri-

will get married and have children,

bution, in this world is the child you

the Ummah needs to wake up to the

birthed. In the Quran, praise is given

reality that we are souls with much

to those who look after the orphans

greater purpose. A woman has every

and the disadvantaged, not to those

right to worship Allah and to spend

who gave birth to many.

her life in His service. Just as Maryam (may Allah be pleased with her) was

Each soul created by Allah, can

never pressured into marrying and

work together to establish justice and

spent her life in service to Allah, we

peace. They do not need a marriage

should be encouraging young Mus-

contract and a labour room story to

lims to spend their lives seeking Al-

be valued by the Ummah.

lah, rather than making them anxious about a pre-destined possibility.

34

Photo By Brigitte Tohm Eaay on Unsplash 35

CRITICAL THINKING

I

By: Beenish Khurshid , Montreal Canada had a dream recently. I was in a large lecture hall, and the director of

my company was the lecturer. The class was on clothing. The lecturer began by asking the class: what is the purpose of clothing?

One person said to look beautiful.

Others started mentioning other ideas as the lecturer picked on me (pay attention, I was. Turn your chair, and so on).

explaining how she believes she is more beautiful, prompting for an answer.

Some women in the class tried to defend Islam. Finally, frustrated at not having had a voice in the debate, made to feel inadequate by the lecturer, and having a clear argument in my mind, I spoke up.

What is the purpose of clothing?

The focus soon shifted to the oppression of the hijab and the oppression

To some, it is to look beautiful.

To others, it is to look sexually attractive.

To others, it is to show off how ripped

of Muslim religion and cultures in general. I struggled to speak up and the lecturer did not give me a turn.

Then the lecturer gave a student a sheet of paper. Role play. She got up,

(muscular) they are.

To others, it is to conform to societal norms.

To yet others, it is to address natural feelings of shame and not feel ex-

and asked a hijabi woman: are you more beautiful, or am I? And started

posed.

(Continued on page 37)

36

(Continued from page 36)

wear loose fitting clothes while working out.)

But in today's western society, most of us do not decide what we wear. It is decided for us. Some clothing choices are decided by long standing social

So while the vast majority of people in the world wear what they are told to wear, Muslim women in the West make a choice for themselves, on what

norms - men wear suits to interviews, or women wear dresses to weddings.

Most, today, are decided for us by the fashion industry. And what are the motivating goals of

clothing means to them, and on what how and when they are going to wear it. They make a choice to regain control of their bodies. To decide who looks at them,

clothing in fashion?

To be attractive. To be sexy.

when, and what people get to see.

And they decide what purpose they

Why is it that T-shirts often have text written on the chest and not on the belly? Why is it that we must wear

are operating under at any given time: to look beautiful, to look attractive, to preserve their right

stretch-fit yoga pants to the gym, and bikinis to the beach? It is something the fashion industry has decided for us, and decided that these clothes will

to bodily privacy, to be modest, or to

obey God.

make us look most attractive. And almost nothing else is available on the shelf. (Anyone who has read up on healthy gear to wear while exercising

tive, and recognizing that when we put our minds to it, we can put oppressive ideologies like "secular clothing" (and Bill-21 in QuĂŠbec) to peace-

knows that it is actually healthier to

ful rest.

Illustration By Shaista Khurshid

Let's start taking control of the narra-

37

CRITICAL THINKING

By: Shabnam Lakhani, Calgary Alberta

Photo by Roberta Sorge on Unsplash

38

I

t has been a long-held belief, as we all have been told, that if we consume less calories than we expend, we will lose weight - the first law of thermodynamics. We have, throughout decades, counted calories and recorded what we burn when we exercise. All in the pursuit of getting healthier and keeping chronic diseases at bay. And if we appear to have failed in this pursuit, it is because we eat more than we need, and we get fat because we are lazy.

Losing weight, of course, is not as simple as needing to eat less. We try our best to eat right, yet still our health suffers, while we remain hungry.

So what are we doing wrong, and what changes do we need to make to improve our health? Recently, we have become aware that our physiology does not use calories neatly, by subtracting what is needed, and then turning any excess into fat. Take for example Coke.

We think nothing of drinking a can of Coke with only 140 calories. A handful of almonds (20 count) may have the same amount of calories, but will produce a completely different metabolic response. But with 31 grams of sugar in Coke, our insulin levels rise substantial-

ly, thus causing us to store fat. Over a period of time, raised insulin level can cause type 2 diabetes.

We need a fundamental change in our way of thinking, about what exactly food is, and how it affects our body. I have personally given it a lot of thought recently as diabetes and heart disease is part of my family history. And according to Diabetes Canada

“One in three Canadians is living with diabetes or pre-diabetes yet knowledge of risk and complication remains low.� (Kathleen Powderley, April 2019).

We all need to take stock of what we have been doing to our health. If we make fundamental changes in our diet and how we consume food, it will have a positive effect on our health, and hopefully In'Sha'Allah, enable us to be free from taking pills and insulin for the rest of our lives.

AVOID DRINKING CALORIES The image of a heart healthy breakfast always contained freshly-squeezed orange juice with loads of vitamin C. I have spent many years thinking that juicing rather than eating the fruit was doing me more good. However, I did (Continued on page 40)

39

(Continued from page 39)

not realize that juicing removes the satiating fiber, and then increases the speed of absorption of sugar into the blood, making it not much better than the aforementioned can of Coke. Even though sugar is natural in fruit, having such a concentrated amount has a detrimental effect on one's blood glucose control.

Alhamdulillah, the recommended official food guide has changed and we are encouraged to “Make water our choice of drink” (2019, Canada’s food guide), not only for us but our children as well.

Water is essential in hydration especially in dry climates such as Alberta. A lot of the time we are unaware of our thirst, putting it down to hunger, tiredness or lack of sleep. By drinking enough water, we can help maintain the correct function of our mind and body.

PROCESSED AND LOW-FAT FOOD TRAP I had fallen for the low fat industry, hook, line, and sinker. I would buy these heart healthy oatmeal biscuits, with green writing and natural background, thinking I was doing myself some good. Little did I know that it

would lead me to eat 3 times the recommended amount and still not satisfy my hunger. Low fat yogurt has the same effect. Once the fat is taken out of the product, it is then replaced with sugar. And so many of the food products that are made contain sugar: cereals, soups, ketchup, salad dressing, bread etc. And of course the sugar is usually high fructose corn syrup, which substantially increases the body’s inflammation.

It wasn’t that long ago when we were all convinced of the health benefits of margarine. It was supposed to not contain the saturated fat that causes cholesterol build up in the arteries which then leads to heart attacks. We now know that the highly toxic trans fats found in margarine has actually led to greater risk of heart disease, inflammation, and insulin resistance.

It took me a while to comprehend that fat does not make you fat, and not all calories are the same. The best way to eat is to cook the food you eat, and know what exactly is in the meals you prepare. If a loaf of bread has a long list of ingredients that cannot be pronounced, let alone understood; and if it lasts more than a month, it may not be (Continued on page 41)

40

significant improvement in metabolic health. Allah has given it to us as a gift the best thing to eat. Allah has given us that needs to be implemented in our a bounty of wholesome food, and we lives. should enjoy it in moderation.

It has taken me a while to really under“O children of Adam..., and eat and stand the benefits of good food, in drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He moderation. It is still a learning process. likes not those who commit ex- And it is not always easy, especially cess.” (Surah Al Araf, Ayah 31) when the convenience of ready-made products is always beckoning.

(Continued from page 40)

EMBRACE FASTING

Part of not indulging in excess and focusing on self-control, is fasting. Fasting should not only be for Ramadan, but as per Prophet’s (PBUH) sunnah, fasting should continue Mondays and Thursdays, when we can. Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:

"Deeds are presented on Monday and Thursday, and I love that my deeds be presented while I am fasting." (Jami` atTirmidhi, Vol. 2, Book of Fasting, Hadith 747). Fasting focuses the mind on important matters and makes one more conscious of what one should and should not be doing.

REFERENCES: 1. Canada’s food guide (2019) Involve Others in

Planning and Preparing Meals, Retrieved from https://food-guide.canada.ca/en/healthy-eatingrecommendations/make-water-your-drink-ofchoice/

2. Powderley, K.2019, One in three Canadian is living with diabetes or prediabetes, yet knowledge of risk and complications of disease remains low.”

Retrieved from https:// www.diabetes.ca/media-room/press-releases/one -in-three-canadians-is-living-with-diabetes-orprediabetes,-yet-knowledge-of-risk-andcomplication 3. Menk, Menk [Muslim Akhi] (2019, March 4) Sci-

entifically Proven Benefits of Fasting Monday and Thursday [Video File] YouTube. https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkHhtrlvg8&ab_channel=MuslimAkhi 4. Quran and Hadith:

Intermittent fasting has become popular in modern society given the increasing evidence that it has a beneficial effect on health: from the obvious weight loss, greater blood glucose control and

Surah Al-A’raf- Retrieved from https:// quran.com/7/31 (2014) Muflihun.com Jami` atTirmidhi, Vol. 2, Book of Fasting, Hadith 747 retrieved from https://muflihun.com/tirmidhi/8/747

41

HUMOR

Photo By Shaista Khurshid

42

That One Chair By: Ahsan Ayub , Calgary Alberta

D

oes anyone else have that one seat at the dining table or one place on the couch that is simply “theirs”, unconditionally? If you do (which, of

course you do), you know how much it hurts when somebody takes that seat and wouldn’t give it up! A couple of weeks ago, my sister and I were fighting over something trivial (like siblings do) just before dinner. To get back at me, she goes and sits on my chair and refuses to give it up. Well, okay, it hurt but I forgive her because I’m that awesome. After dinner, we go up to the bonus room to watch the next episode of Ertugrul (yes, we’re cool! But we watch the Urdu -dubbed, PTV version, so I guess we’re not that cool), and my sister who still obviously hasn’t moved on, goes and sits on my place at the couch. I still don’t let it bring me down too much. It was Friday evening, and it was only 8, so our family decided to go grab some ice cream from the Village (we’re hip, too!). You guessed it! She (Continued on page 44)

43

(Continued from page 43)

took my seat in the car and doesn’t give it up. This pretty much does it! I didn’t enjoy a single lick of my usually heavenly Melted Chocolate ice cream. WORST DAY EVER! So by this point, you’re probably thinking “Stop being so petty, Mr. Writer-Man”, and to that, my reply is “no”. That was my chair on the dining table, my place on the couch, and my seat in the car, and that’s that. Who said I had to have rational and logical preferences? The aforementioned psychopathic sister of mine often says “I don’t see your name on it!” So now I carry a stack of Post-It notes and a marker so I can always have my name on my chair.

Obviously a lot of what I wrote is exaggerated for effect (or is it?

), but one starts to wonder: Why do we associate so

much value to trivial things and let them affect our lives so much? (This is where this article changes genres from ‘humor’ to ‘philosophy’). Could it be because there are so many uncontrollable factors in our lives that applying this overexaggerated significance to small things gives us a semblance of control over our lives? Maybe we could get some input from one of the psychiatrist uncles in the community…. Or is there another, simpler theory to explain such possessiveness like:

IT IS MY CHAIR AND IT NEEDS TO BE

LEFT ALONE! 44

Illustration By Shaista Khurshid

45

CRITICAL THINKING

Fair Game?

By: Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta

O

ur environment and upbringing are build-

ing blocks of our personalities. Whatever we think or believe is rooted in our background. We pick up subconscious clues from around us.

These end up forming our embedded behaviours and thoughts. Then, our education, faith, family and our experiences make up our mindset. An example of how these influences translate into our mindset is our attitudes towards people with darker skin color.

Like patriarchy, the value or superiority associated with fair skin has been rooted into our psyche for at least a century, maybe more. Interestingly, when we think of fair skin, we also associate it with righteousness, virtue and sincerity.

This obsession with skin color is not new. As Muslims, we are ordained to believe and treat everyone as our equals, brother and sister. For us, superiority does not lie in color, race, education or any worldly thing; it lies in Taqwa and righteousness. How did we go from nurturing Taqwa in (Continued on page 48)

46

Photo By Andy Kelly on Unsplash

47

(Continued from page 46)

ourselves, to judging people based on color, race, beauty or youth?

Regardless, we have our fair share of racist and biased attitudes. One of them is preferring fairer women over

at their older age, women are given a much shorter expiry date. Our society determines the age where a female person can be discarded, or at least set aside. The reason given is that younger women are easily adjustable, malleable, and assimilate quickly into the conformity of their husband’s home.

darker ones. The representation of fairer skin over darker in any print or digital media, e.g. television, adverOur society is obsessed with superficitisement, movies, is alarmingly dispro- ality. We are infatuated with an unreportionate. This representation in the alistic standard of beauty and youth. media reinforces the idea of a preferred skin color.

The shade of human skin does not determine his or her personality or conduct, but somehow, we have gotten preoccupied with bizarre beauty standards. These criteria affect people’s lives in many ways. In some societies, it determines the possibility of

The growth of plastic surgeries throughout the world validates this notion. There is also a booming market of cosmetics and treatments for flawless skin, toned bodies that cater to our desire to look young and beautiful.

Alarmingly, younger and younger audiences are getting this message.

getting a suitable partner. The sad thing about this affair is that women are judged on unchangeable Godgiven attributes, while men are judged on acquired aspects, like an education

These young girls and women feel pressured to conform and change their appearances to look young and beautiful. We are losing our youth to this insanity. Instead of being allowed

or a well-paying job.

to be kids and to build their mind and character, they are anxious to get

Our absurd attitudes also target age.

While men are considered viable even

(Continued on page 49)

48

(Continued from page 48)

ahead in this never ending race, in which no one is the winner.

This horrendous, trivial competition does not benefit anyone but the cosmetic industry. In this race, everyone is a loser. As we all fixate towards it, society’s goal of maintaining a happy and healthy environment for people, goes down the drain, as everyone runs behind abstract ideals of vanity.

We must understand as life goes on, things change. If we look at ourselves two decades back, we will look different than now. We are living breathing humans; we change, and that is our beauty. When a leaf is a bud, it is different from the full-grown leaf. As it grows, and seasons change, it changes its color and later falls from the tree.

This is the cycle of life. Everything ceases; beauty diminishes, color fades, fat accumulates, body weakens. However, character and goodness of the heart can grow and earn us the eternal

"Who is the fairest of them all?" - Dig deeper.

•

Understand who we are and the purpose of our creation.

•

Respect Allah’s creation the way it is created - not the way we want it to be.

•

Stop making judgements and selections based on superficiality.

Instead, dive into finding meaningful relationships.

•

Be a service to the creation of God, even if it is as simple as keeping them from our evil.

•

Be thankful for what we are given as we are all the design of The Greatest. Allah knows how to create and design His beloved creation, human beings!

beauty of paradise.

What is the antidote to our obsessions? Instead of asking the mirror 49

RECIPE CORNER

Shared By: Aun Hasnain Los Angeles, California

Photo by Jordan Nix on Unsplash

50

1

Toast corn tortilla, and place your protein.

•

Use Breaded Shrimp, Chicken or any protein, baked or fried, of your choice.

•

2

•

3

• •

Add mustard and mayonnaise or sauce of your choice

Add fresh salsa Salsa Prep: (Onions, tomatoes, chopped green chilli, cilantro and lemon)

4

•

•

Photos by Aun Hasnain

Add cabbage and some lemon on top.

Viola ! It’s ready

51

“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I want to change myself.�

By: Jalal-Uddin-Rumi

52 Photo by Khalil Musa on Unsplash