Rate of Ruturn

By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary, Alberta

Boy oh boy. In South-Asian culture, and many other religions and cultures, men and boys get far more superiority than women or girls. Just search for patriarchy, misogyny, and gender disparity. I have always wondered; Why? Many religious institutions try to prove the divinity of masculine creatures, while others just think that men are better in many ways.

This lopsided thinking process has creeped into our religion, despite clear instructions from the Quran about women and girls. Many still think of men as superior beings, and prefer boys over girls.

For years, I have asked myself: Why so? A girl and a boy are the same. There is no difference whatsoever in pregnancy or delivery. They both need food. They both need love and affection, and they both need education and a good upbringing. So what is the difference between them? Today's world has proven that women can do what men can do. But what women can do, men can’t. Men cannot bear children. So there is a biological difference in genders, but both are created to work together. So the question is, why favor one gender over the other when both are needed for the society to work flawlessly?

Many cultures up until now have established guidelines for how men and women should behave. One was that since women give birth, men should provide. The system worked for a long time as a collaborative system, until someone tried to make it into a competition instead of collaboration. Instead of “distribution of chores” it has become a personality and superiority complex. When the chores of life become personality complexes, inequality arises. When inequality arises, some will be favored while others will be pushed down. We see this daily in our lives, where some races or people are considered superior over others. The same goes for gender too.

We favor men and boys because we understand their importance in society. Whether it is God mandated or not, that is besides the point for us. We only focus on current trends. And current trends say that men are superior in many ways than women. So, when we favor boys over girls it's not about what they can do or can’t do. It is about the rate of return. Men and boys are usually earners and they produce money. While girls and women are mostly those who help voluntarily. And in this capitalistic world, money is everything. Free work is neither appreciated nor recognized. So when we love our boys, we know they are going to be our bank account in the future so we spend our time, effort and love to mature this investment. While women or girls will not bring us anything as they will move to their husband's house. So, why invest in things which have no rate of return?

This is a despicable thinking process. But this is how our culture has been operating for a long time. And we will continue to favor men and boys in the coming future because we want to secure our future. It will only come to an end when we understand that we are given by Allah what we need to live and our future until death is also sustained by Him also. We should not see our children as our retirement savings but to see them as Allah’s creation, whose upbringing is obligated upon us by Allah.

"Enjoin Prayer on your household, and do keep observing it. We do not ask you for any worldly provision; rather, it is We Who provide you, and ultimately the pious will end up the best.” (Quran 20:132)

We as Muslims need to change our behavior and straighten it to align with what Allah has established for us. Treat your children equally, love them exorbitantly without thinking of them as future investments. We don’t bring up our children for ourselves, we do it for Allah. We make them decent citizens, full of faith and love for His creations. We help them to become someone strong who can stand up to the world and help it to become greater.

Stop raising boys as your rate of return and girls as useless creations. Allah has made each with purpose. Make them someone whom you will be proud of, on the Day of Judgment. Raise them the way that they not only become your Sadaqa Jaria in this world but also someone who asks Allah to raise your levels to higher place in Jannah.

Photo by Micheile dot com 1 on Unsplash