NorthWest Muslim - Fall 2019

Issue –15, September-2019

Photo by Nicolas Weldingh on Unsplash

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As the 2019 fall approaches in Canada, so is the time for the federal elections. We now need to choose someone to run the office for the next four years.

As decision-making is a part of our everyday lives, sometimes decisions are simple as what to eat or drink. But then, sometimes, decisions we make, are life changing forever. Regardless, all decisions have their consequences.

A simple mark on the ballot may change the lives of others. We as a Muslims have a great responsibility to put others above ourselves sincerely and understand that our purpose of life is to follow Allah’s rules. So, whichever elections you are decid-

ing to vote, vote with a God-fearing attitude. We need God centered people not people who are egocentric.

In this issue like always, you will find articles and opinions of our writers. We have an insight from our writer about the choice of learning Arabic as a language and an article for how to make a house a home. We will be reading in our book review about changing attitudes toward self-improvement. In our article called group think we will know what it does to the societies and how to steer clear. Hoping all of you enjoy this issue, feel free to drop us a line on Facebook, or email. We’d love to hear from you.

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Photo by Fanning Tseng on Unsplash 3

Editorial ·································································································· 2 Qur’aan ···································································································· 6 Hadith ····································································································· 7 Home is Where the Heart is ········································································ 8 Why I Chose to Learn Arabic ······································································ 12 Isra wa Al-Miraj ······················································································· 14 Group Think ···························································································· 18 Book Review: “Educated” ········································································· 22 Baby Sitting & Early Childhood Education ··················································· 24 Shahi Tukray ··························································································· 26 Back Cover ······························································································ 28

Submissions, Comments and Advertising: Email: northwestmuslim@gmail.com Online: issuu.com/northwestmuslim Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NorthWest-Muslim-Magazine4

Editor-in-Chief Shaista Khurshid

Editors & Writers Afshan Habib Rabia Khan Ayesha Nasir

Beenish Khurshid

Layout, Cover & Design Shaista Khurshid

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ِ ‫َو ْاذ ُك ُروا ِن ْع َم َة ه‬ ۖ ‫اَّلل عَلَ ْي ُ ُْك َو ِميثَاقَ ُه ه ِاَّلي َواثَ َق ُ​ُك ِب ِه ا ْذ قُلْ ُ ُْت َ َِس ْعنَا َو َأ َط ْع َنا‬ ِ ‫ه‬ ُ ِ ‫ َ​َي َأُّيُّ َا اَّل َين أ َمنُوا كونُوا‬- ‫الصدُ ِور‬ َ ‫اَّلل ۚ ا هن ه‬ َ ‫َوات ه ُقوا ه‬ ُّ ‫اَّلل عَ ِل ٌمي ب َِذ ِات‬ ۚ ‫قَ هوا ِم َني ِ ه َِّلل ُشِهَدَ َاء ِ​ِبلْ ِق ْسطِ ۖ َو َ​َل َ َْي ِر َمن ه ُ ُْك َش نَآ ُن قَ ْو ٍم عَ َ َٰل َأ هَل تَ ْع ِدلُوا‬ - ‫ون‬ َ ‫ا ْع ِدلُوا ه َُو َأ ْق َر ُب ِللته ْق َو ٰى ۖ َوات ه ُقوا ه‬ َ ‫اَّلل ۚ ا هن ه‬ َ ُ‫اَّلل َخبِريٌ ِب َما تَ ْع َمل‬ ِ And remember the favor of Allah upon you and His covenant with which He bound you when you said, "We hear and we obey"; and fear Allah . Indeed, Allah is Knowing of that within the breasts.O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah, witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what you do. (Al-Maida:7&8)

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‫َح هدثَ ِ​ِن ُم َح همدُ ْب ُن َع ْب ِد ه ِ‬ ‫اَّلل ْب ِن ن ُ َم ْ ٍري‪َ ،‬ح هدثَنَا َأ ِ​ِب ح‪َ ،‬و َح هدثَنَا َأبُو بَ ْك ِر‬ ‫ْب ُن َأ ِ​ِب َشيْ َب َة‪َ ،‬ح هدثَنَا َأبُو ُأ َسا َم َة‪ ،‬قَا َ​َل َح هدثَ َنا ُع َب ْيدُ ه ِ‬ ‫اَّلل‪ ،‬ح َو َح هدثَ َنا‬ ‫هاب‪ - ،‬ي َ ْع ِ​ِن الث ه َق ِف هي‬ ‫ُم َح همدُ ْب ُن الْ ُمث هَ​َّن‪َ - ،‬والل ه ْفظُ َ َُل ‪َ -‬أخ َ ََْبَنَ َع ْبدُ الْ َوه ِ‬ ‫ َح هدثَ َنا ُع َب ْيدُ ه ِ‬‫اَّلل‪َ ،‬ع ْن َنَ ِفعٍ‪َ ،‬ع ِن ا ْب ِن ُ َُع َر‪َ ،‬ع ِن النه ِ ِ يب صَل هللا عليه‬ ‫وسمل قَا َل " َمث َ ُل الْ ُمنَا ِف ِق َ​َكَث َِل ال هشا ِة الْ َعائِ َر ِة ب َ ْ َني الْ َغنَ َم ْ ِني تَ ِع ُري ا َ​َل‬ ‫ِ‬ ‫َه ِذ ِه َم هر ًة َوا َ​َل َه ِذ ِه َم هر ًة "‬ ‫ِ‬ ‫‪) as saying:‬ﷺ( ‪Ibn Umar reported Allah's Apostle‬‬ ‫‪The similitude of a hypocrite is that of a sheep which roams aimlessly be‬‬‫‪tween two flocks. She goes to one at one time and to the other at another‬‬ ‫‪time.‬‬ ‫‪http://sunnah.com/muslim/51/20‬‬

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women who don’t feel fulfilled inside the Building a house needs a lot of money,

home. The old societal norm of the one who

materials and patience. It is often said that

makes money is considered as the head of

“A home is where the heart is”. So, what

the house, the one who decides all affairs,

does a home need to be built on? Does a

the dominant one that had to be served

home need to be built on anything other

while the other half did not get the privilege

than money?

in any form of the other privileged half. This has cast a deep dark shadow on our new so-

A home is safe unit for people to live in;

ciety. So many women feel that it’s inferior

no doubt about it. In every era the defini-

of them to take care of the house because

tion of how a home is run changes. Every

they saw this imbalance in their society and

period has its own systems, values and diffi-

with their parents and see it as unfair or

culties. Challenges of the modern world

abusive. This disbalance of our society is

these days is that sometimes both genders

affecting our homes directly. Thus, causing a

must work in their fields of trade to pay bills

deep divide between generations. The older

or satisfy their professional necessities.

generation want women to stay at home

However, the old saying, husband makes

and do the same as they did for their home

the money and wife stays home has

and children. They want new generation

changed or is changing. Thus, rising the is-

women to get out of barbie doll syndrome

sue of who will do the dishes. In the past,

to get their heads into the sacrifice as their

people have defined roles of who stays

older generation did it, their whole life.

home and who makes money. But the mod-

They want to see, if new generation see the

ern world has shaken those boundaries.

benefit from the work they have done. They There are men who want to stay home

(Continued on page 9)

and take care of family. Besides, there are 8

(Continued from page 8)

every generation. We all will have our share

want them to be in the game, from creating

of our hiccups and we all got to solve our

a safe haven for the new generations and

difficult problems. Sometimes there is a suc-

helping them grow into stronger and health-

cess but there is a chance of failure. Under-

ier individuals while sacrificing their lives,

standing the wisdom behind life is the key

time, interests and egos.

to solving it.

Younger generations vehemently disagree

We are not our children or our parents.

with this. This tussle is always there from

We are made up of half DNA from our fa-

one generation to another. Younger genera-

ther and half from our mother and same

tions have their own ideas about living a

goes to our parents. So, in a nutshell we are

life. They want to lead life on equal terms in

neither our children nor parents. Since we

work and decision. Though interesting, it is

have a different genetic makeup, we have a

true that we all think what we do is better

separate set of skills and thinking processes.

than our older generations and that we are

So, it would be that we will not come across

wiser than the next.

the challenges our parents faced, and it might be more probable that we wouldn’t

I think there is no tussle if we take a step

deal with the problem the same way as our

back and try to understand the goal. What is

parents did. But not to jump hoops there is

the goal? It seems that the goal is to make a

a lot of wisdom with our older generations.

home safe and sound for all who live in it.

It is sometimes better to use the tried and

So, the challenge would not be how to run

tested methods instead of reinventing the

the house but how to run it effectively. This

wheel.

is not about who does a better job, but instead what each brings in their marriage

What does it take to make a home? It’s

This conundrum must be solved with cour-

to bring one hundred percent of yourself in.

age, energy and wisdom from the couples,

We must be responsible enough to under-

instead of making it a generational egotisti-

stand the goal of making a home. We must

cal debate.

be ready to give extra hours when needed

It is not saying that building a home and

(Continued on page 10)

running it smoothly is a piece of cake for Photo by Simon Godfrey on Unsplash

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(Continued from page 9)

wards anything. Second is love, since build-

and go through pay cut a.k.a what you need

ing and running our home with love is what

or want, if necessary, to keep the home

will help us get through when our energy

working efficiently. Both husband and wife

supply is depleted. Truthfulness and trust

are the integral part of this industry called

are the next building blocks which help us

home. The couple needs to discuss the roles

understand the next person and their

and expectations about themselves and

efforts. And finally, wisdom and humility,

what are the expectations of their families,

that

before marriage. Mature adults discuss the

When all these ingredients are there, any

details beforehand to avoid imbalance and

curve ball will take us to new frontiers in-

broken expectations in their relationship.

stead of throwing us down.

give others the space to breathe.

Running a home requires a lot of effort.

Our marriages are not a competition. It

At the very least, a home needs food, gro-

is teamwork. This teamwork needs both

ceries, cooking, cleaning, repair, mainte-

partners to be wise and helpful. It is needed

nance, money, socializing, and throwing

to be understood that there will be a differ-

away the garbage. These are unromantic

ence of opinions with each other and each

work which people are doing to run a house

other’s family. We must understand that

for centuries. Couples are doing these un-

they will have their opinions and you will

grateful and unappreciated work, which de-

have yours. It’s not a competition. That

plete our energy to the nth level, for as long

means we just need to step back and see

as humanity exists.

the big picture, to lower our egos and agree to disagree. The idea is to keep balance, fo-

When we make a home, It is our time to

cus on a goal, and the goal is to run the

show gratitude towards the older genera-

home seamlessly by working together. Our

tions and oncoming generation by building

parents want to see us happy. If we mature-

our home and contributing towards it fully.

ly run our family life they might not inter-

The system we develop to run our home

fere. Since they are human and they also

should have a few important points. Number one being sincerity, since nothing beats

(Continued on page 11)

a sincere and unconditional effort made to10

(Continued from page 10)

light. At the same time, a couple needs to

want to be part of our life, they do want to

show their understanding and gratitude to-

see us bloom with their own eyes and want

wards both families. Even though that they

to make a positive difference in and with us.

are detached from their parents, and they

Most parents fear to be left alone when they

have added another set of thinking and

are weak and need help. Pushing the rela-

working in the system. That thinking might

tionship enough that it breaks or ignoring

not be the same as them or their parents, it

them can be devastating to them. We are

may be one hundred percent different, but

not animals or plants. We don’t need to be

it’s time to understand the limitations and

seeded away from our parents as we can live

expectations of both families fully.

nearby or near in emotions to keep our ties

Marriage is the time to leave childhood

together. Losing a child, whether it’s old or

and grow up as mature adults and know

young is catastrophic. Whether it’s because

how to handle life wisely. It is time to start

they are left alone when they need us or

respecting any and all forms of work both

whether children cut them off because their

done inside and outside the house. It is time

spouse doesn’t have courtesy to absorb

to share the different household chores and

them into their lives. So, if we as mature

make them a labour of love rather than ego

adults, keep the balance with our spouses

which will make the home truly a safe and

and with our parents, none would think that

happy place where the heart is.

they have lost their children or parents or spouse. Instead, they would gain a child and family with relation to our spouses.

All sets of couples need to understand that none needs to interfere in each other’s lives except when there is disrespect or abuse. Both sides of parents need to give the new home their respect and leave them alone with their unsolicited advice. Let them grow on their own soil and their own sunPhoto by Christophe Maertens on Unsplash

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WHY I CHOSE TO LEARN ARABIC

I am a keen learner. In my spare time I like learning something new. I chose to learn Arabic after hearing about free classes held in the local Musalla, from a couple of friends. It was summer, the timing suited me and so I started taking these lessons. I thought since Arabic is the language of the Holy Quran, there must be more reward and benefit in learning this language over others. So, in this sense I was inclined towards Arabic more than any other language. I also liked the fact that my teacher was from the same background. This made it easier to learn a new language.

I think Arabic is a difficult language to learn. Even though I was remarkably familiar with its script, it still wasn’t easy since its grammar is different. There are many charts that must be memorized to progress to the next level. The language is also different, meaning there are many more verbs conjugations than any language I have ever studied. Arabic grammar is particularly challenging as verbs tend to come before the subject. Also, there is a dual form of words in addition to the singular and plural which makes it more difficult to learn. Arabic also has very distinct genders applied to all nouns and verbs. That demands more attention from the people who have only learned to use “it� for all the nonliving things. One fascinating and unique aspect of Arabic is that it conveys the meaning of a full sentence in a single word. Thus, it is less lengthy but more eloquent than other languages.

Though I have my struggles and I am waiting for my triumph, but still, there is no room for discouragement as perfection comes after practice. Finally, the grammar tables do get memorized, given enough time and attention. I am hoping, the complex harmony of (Continued on page 13)

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(Continued from page 12)

grammatical details gets de-tangled at some point.

Then the sea of vocabulary one day will be stored in my brain’s long-term memory. In the meantime, I am putting one foot in front of the other and taking it slowly. Who says there is an age limit for learning anything?

Moreover, even if I couldn't become an expert in the Arabic language, but just by learning a new language; I am investing in my future of healthy brain cells. This is a triumph in today’s world.

I also realized the amazing benefit of learning a new language. It improves the memory and decreases the onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s. It also increases the attention span while improving multitasking abilities. It also creates better cognitive skills and improves first language. Moreover, it can both increase the size of the brain and develop the perceptual sensitivity. (From: https://www.iwillteachyoualanguage.com/blog/9health-benefits-of-learning-a-foreign-language) In short, language learning, especially Arabic, is a privilege that helps open the closed windows of the mind and takes one from limited knowledge to the heights of knowledge. Its study is only undertaken by those people who understand the value in such an undertaking.

The task is hard. But the rewards of intellectual development are many. It does make up for the initial difficulty.

References: (Iwillteachyoulanguage.com)

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The event of Isra Wa al-Meraj took place around a year before Prophet (saw) migrated to Madinah. Its exact date is still controversial. The first part of the journey is called Isra. It is mentioned in the first Ayah of Surah Bani Israel.

when his beloved Uncle Abu Talib and his treasured wife Khadija RA passed away. This was the same year when people of Taif mistreated and rejected the Prophet (saw).

Before we start the details of the Prophet’s (saw) night journey, one must open one’s mind. One should accept that one cannot have logical reasoning to every religious belief. This is our faith. The belief in the Unseen. So, think of it as a supernatural event which was brought about by the unlimited powers of Allah SWT.

‫ْس ٰى ِب َع ْب ِد ِه ل َ ْي ً​ًل ِيم َن الْ َم ْس ِج ِد الْ َح َرا ِم ُس ْب َح َان‬ َ ْ ‫ه ِاَّلي َأ‬ ‫ْ َاْل ْق َ​َص ه ِاَّلي َِب َر ْكنَا َح ْو َ َُل ِل ُ ُِني َ ُه ِم ْن أ َ​َيتِنَا ۚ ا َ​َل الْ َم ْس ِج ِد‬ ِ ‫ ان ه ُه ه َُو‬- ‫الس ِمي ُع الْ َب ِص ُري‬ ‫ ه‬17:1 ِ

“Exalted is He who took His Servant by night from al-Masjid al-Haram to al-Masjid alAqsa, whose surroundings We have blessed, to show him of Our signs. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Seeing.” Qur’an (17:1)

The night journey took place in one part of the night. That is in real time of this world; it took place only in few moments. The students of science know about Time dilation.

Time behaves differently in different spaces affected by gravity and speed. For example, the astronauts returning from the space station age less than the mission control crew that remained on the earth. So, time will bend due to difference in gravity or difference in speed. This is the law of Allah SWT.

The object of this journey stated here is to show Allah SWT’s signs to the Prophet (saw). The Prophets are special people.

They are great men chosen by Allah SWT for a special purpose. All the prophets before Muhammad (saw) were given miracles of their own. These miracles were the signs of Allah SWT and were given to the prophets to make them stronger in their faiths. Allah SWT wanted to show some of His signs to the Prophet (saw).

The angels are not confined by earth’s time and space and are also quite different from humans. They could travel at the speed of light or more. Prophet (saw) himself told his

It was a hard time for the Prophet (saw), when this event occurred. It was the year

(Continued on page 15)

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Jibril, took the Prophet (saw) to the heavens.

This is the second part of the journey; it is called Miraj. When the Prophet (saw) and Jibril reached the first Heavens, Jibril asked the guardian angel to open the doors of Heaven. It was opened and the Prophet (saw) met the father of humankind, Adam AS. The Prophet (saw) gave his Salam to him.

Then Jibril and the Prophet (saw) ascended to the second heavens. There the prophet (saw) met with Issa AS and Yahya AS, the two cousins who were prophets too. They returned the prophet’s Salam and expressed their faith in his prophethood. Then they reached the third Heaven and met and gave Salam to Yusuf AS who returned the prophet’s Salam. Then in the company of Jibril, the Prophet (saw) reached the fourth Heaven. He met Idris AS there and gave his Salam. Idris AS returned his Salam and expressed his faith in his prophethood.

(Continued from page 14)

companions about his night journey and there are reports of about twenty companions of the Prophet (saw) who witnessed this event.

One night, the Prophet (saw) was sleeping in Umm-e-Hani’s (Prophet’s cousin) house after praying Isha prayers. Angel Jibril came to the prophet (saw) and took him to the Khana Ka’aba. Prophet (saw), saw a horse like creature there. It was white in color and smaller than a usual horse but bigger than a donkey. The Prophet (saw) was told that it was called a Burraq. Some scholars mention another Hadith which reveals that before the Prophet (saw) was told to ride Burraq, his breasts were opened by angel Jibril (as), his heart extracted and washed with Zam Zam water.

The Messenger of Allah was told to get on the Burraq. The Burraq travelled extremely fast. One step of the Burraq was so big that it seems like, as far as the eye could see. The prophet (saw) and angel Jibril reached Masjid Aqsa in Jerusalem. There he got off the horse and tied the Burraq to a ring in the gate of the Masjid. The Prophet (saw) went inside the Masjid and saw all the prophets from Adam AS to Essa AS. The Prophet (saw) led all the prophets in a congregation there and prayed two Rakats.

On the fifth Heaven prophet (saw) met Harun AS and the same exchange of Salams occurred. On the 6th Heaven the Prophet (saw) met Musa AS and gave his Salam and it was returned. On the 7th Heaven the Prophet (saw) met Ibrahim AS. Our Prophet gave the salaam to him and he greeted him with salaam too. After that, Prophet Muhammad was taken to Al-Bait-al-Mamur (the very frequent house) which is like the Kaaba.

It is said, that it is located to be directly above the Kaaba in Dunya. The angels do Ta-

After leading the salah with all the prophets, Photo by darrel collins on Unsplash

(Continued on page 16)

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one stays away from shirk, he will get Jannah.

(Continued from page 15)

waf around it, 70 thousand at a time, and they keep on doing tawaf until the day of Judgement.

When the meeting with Allah SWT was over, our Prophet (saw) on his return spoke to Musa AS, where he pointed out to Prophet Muhammad (saw) that “Your followers cannot perform so many prayers. I know from experience with my Ummah, Bani Israel.

Your people are also weak. Go back to Allah and ask for a lesser amount in the daily prayer.” So along with Jibril AS our Prophet (saw) went back to Allah SWT and asked for a reduction in daily prayer. Allah SWT decreased 10 prayers to a total of 40 prayers.

Again, when Muhammad (saw) passed Musa (AS) and told him about the reduction in prayers, Musa AS said it is still too many daily prayers for your Ummah, so go back again and ask for further reduction.

The Prophet was than carried to Sidrat-ulMuntaha. It is a kind of a lote tree, but this tree changes it’s colors. Colours which the Prophet (saw) had never seen! The Prophet (saw) said that Sidrat-ul-Muntaha was a major sign, when he saw it. Prophet (saw) could not describe the tree because he had never seen anything like it. He also saw butterflies of gold and those who change their colours as well. He said the tree was so massive that it started from the 6th Heaven and goes up to the 7th Heaven.

The Prophet (saw) met Jibril in his original form, there. He had 600 wings. From his wings pearls were emanating. Angel Jibril could not go beyond that point. He said his wings would burn if he went beyond this point. The Prophet (saw) said then someone caused me to ascend and the first thing I felt was I heard the writing of a pen. No other living creature beyond that point, only the Prophet (saw). There was a book above the throne and the pen was writing which he could hear. Whatever happened there was private between Allah (saw) and the prophet of Allah. There our prophet was given 50 Salawat and some scholars say the last two Ayahs of surah Baqarah. The third thing he was given there was assurance that if any-

So once more our Prophet (saw) begged his lord to reduce the number of prayers further. Allah SWT again decreased the number. The Prophet went again and again on the suggestion of Prophet Musa AS for reductions in daily prayers, until they were reduced to five. Musa AS told the Prophet (saw) that your Ummah is weak and will not be able to read even 5 daily prayers, go back to Allah SWT and ask Him to reduce the number, but the Prophet (saw) said that I feel ashamed now on repeatedly asking my Lord for more reductions, I accept and re(Continued on page 17)

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Makkah, it was verified that the Prophet (saw) spoke the truth.

(Continued from page 16)

sign to my Lords will.

There is a debate among scholars whether the prophet (saw) got to see Allah SWT or not. Ayesha RA said that whoever said that the Prophet (saw) saw Allah SWT, said a huge lie about Allah. Ayesha RA said I was the first person to ask the Prophet (saw) about these ayahs. The verses are about Jibril and not Allah. Our eyes cannot see Allah. When asked directly to the Prophet (saw), he said there was so much Nur (light) how could I see him? No creation can withstand seeing of Allah. When Musa (AS) tried to speak to Allah, the mountain turned into ashes. So, Allah SWT created a veil or hijab of light between the Prophet (saw) and Him. No creations of this world can see Allah SWT.

Allah SWT imposed five daily prayers on the ummah of Prophet Muhammad but the reward for it would be for fifty. Still the Prophet (saw) always prayed fifty Rakah all his life.

On his way back the Prophet (saw) also got to see Jannah and Hellfire.

The Prophet (saw) came down to Jerusalem and untied Burraq and rode him back to Makkah. On his way back he glimpsed and recognized three caravans going to Makkah. he got back to Haram just in time for Fajr prayers.

When he woke up the next morning, he felt anxious about the reaction of his community about his journey to Heavens. This shows his humanity. He was stressed out of how he will tell others. The next day he was sitting in the Haram, Abu-Jehal came by and inquired about what happened. Prophet (saw) started telling him about his night journey. Other people gathered around the prophet. When the Prophet (saw) told them how he was carried to Jerusalem from Makkah in one-night people started making fun of him. But Allah SWT helped our prophet (saw) when he was asked about the temple in Jerusalem, and what it was like. The Prophet (saw) also told them about the caravans he saw on his return journey and that one of the caravans had a red camel with a broken leg. When that caravan reached Photo by Gianne De Jesus on Unsplash

Allah Humma Salleh Ala Muhammadin!!!

17

“Groupthink is a psychological phenome-

Whenever a few people meet or work to-

non that occurs within a group of people in

gether, they make groups and Muslims are

which the desire for harmony or conformity

not separate from this phenomenon. But

in the group results in an irrational or dys-

when we grow in numbers we tend to di-

functional decision-making outcome. Group

vide, in opinions, in thinking, in ac-

members try to minimize conflict and reach

tion. Which is good when it comes to work

a consensus decision without critical evalua-

and charity. We need the group to think to-

tion of alternative viewpoints by actively

gether and make things better but when

suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by

this thinking process becomes convoluted,

isolating themselves from outside influ-

trouble starts. Humans are resilient crea-

ences.

tures, at the same time fearful creatures.

They like to protect what they got or devel-

Groupthink requires individuals to avoid

oped. They like to live a comfortable and

raising controversial issues or alternative so-

safe life.

lutions, and there is a loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking.

Similarly, when we make groups among

The dysfunctional group dynamics of the

ourselves, based on social, economic or “I

"ingroup" produces an "illusion of invulnera-

scratch your back and you scratch mine”

bility" (an inflated certainty that the right

reason, this stagnancy of opinions occurs.

decision

the

Input of fresh ideas, using our hikmah in

"ingroup" significantly overrates its own

emotionally intelligent ways, get stuck. Lack

abilities in decision-making and significantly

of new opinions starts to rot. These groups

underrates the abilities of its opponents

usually are started to do decent work but

(the "outgroup"). Furthermore, groupthink

due to the group thinking doors are shut

can produce dehumanizing actions against

towards the free speech and rationality. If

the "outgroup"

challenged, these groups get offended or

has

been

made).

Thus

become a bully. We have seen this happen-

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/

(Continued on page 19)

Groupthink 18

rush to make decisions without weighing all

(Continued from page 18)

the options, this oftentimes leads to addiing in all places including mosque boards,

tional costs or that the solution that is

Islamic organizations and more. This is

picked being less than ideal. A few steps we

causing a rift in our society and ummah

can take to reduce group thinking.

whom should unite in solidarity for love and

1. We should actively listen to other view-

affection, but instead fall apart into various

points and concerns and try to under-

groups who do not see eye to eye in simple

stand them before deciding. We should

matters.

refrain from interrupting and shutting

One of the consequences of these convo-

down people before they have an op-

luted group thinking is that incorrect deci-

portunity for their concerns to be ad-

sions are made for the larger community by

dressed.

some group members without consultation.

2. By Islamic law every household or com-

Due to claims of Muslim unity some people

pany or institution is obliged to govern

actively shut down valid viewpoints which

their matters by using Shura. Shura is a

opposes their own thinking. Sadly, those

way of consultation, that is different

whose viewpoint have been shut down,

than voting, different than referendum

often have no recourse , so they either de-

and different than discussion. In this way

cide to use more potentially dangerous

of decision making, every individual and

techniques to allow their voices to be heard

party is consulted in an open forum

such as legal action or whistle blowing or

where everyone can state their opinion

they decide to separate from the communi-

at the same time and everyone has to

ty and make their own group.

listen to all opinions rationally. Then the

In addition to this, group thinkers often,

solution is picked from the best solution

resort to bullying and intimidation of peo-

available, which suits every member

ple with opposing views. Causing even

consulted and affected. Or if there is no

more division in the community and the

solution, then a solution can be picked

complete drop in morale to engage in any

from multiple points stated in the Shura

other work. Group thinking is not isolated

which might be not be a great solution

to the Muslim community as oftentimes

on its own but joined with another be-

this occurs in the professional world. When

(Continued on page 20)

groups tasked with doing some sort of work Photo by Natalie Breeze on Unsplash

19

they would have disbanded from about

(Continued from page 19)

you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness

comes best. َّ ‫ين ْاس َت َج ُابوا ل َر ِّب ه ْم َو َأ َق ُاموا‬ َ ‫َو َّالذ‬ َ ‫الص َ​َل َة َو َأ ْم ُر ُه ْم ُش‬ ‫ور ٰى‬ ِ ِ ِ ُ ُ ْ ُ َ ْ َ َ َّ َ ْ ُ َ ْ َ َ 42:38 - ‫بينهم و ِمما رزقناهم ي ِنفقون‬

for them and consult them in the matter.

And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].

And those who have responded to their lord and established prayer and whose

We have a very beautiful story during the

affair is [determined by] consultation

time

among themselves, and from what We

(saw).

have provided them, they spend. (42:38)

when Muslims faced the problem of a large

of

the

Prophet

Muhammad

During the battle of the trench

In the end, this method keeps the enthu-

army coming to attack Madinah. Prophet

siasm and morale up, and at the same time

Muhammad (saw) consulted people, and

finds the solution to the problem in the

one of the Sahaba, Salman -al-Farsi who

best way possible. It also rejects “my way

was from Iran and was very different from

or the highway attitude” and “group think-

rest of the Arabs, gave the solution to dig a

ing”. As a solution is found cooperatively by

trench around Madinah. The solution was

the people and not by some elite or ruling

novel but laborious and with the equip-

class deciding for the rest of the people.

ment they had it was almost an impossible

Thus inhibiting egotism from any or all

task. But Muhammad (saw) considered the

members. This consultation process may

novelty of the idea and the shahba lovingly

take multiple sittings. Also after consulta-

adopted the idea willingly participated in

tions with people, Muslims are recom-

it. later this trench became something

mended to make difficult decisions by con-

which helped them save the idea to build a

sulting Allah, by doing Istikhara. َ َ ْ َ ْ َ َ ًّ َ َ ُ َ َّ َ ِّ ْ َ َ ‫اَّلل ِلنت ل ُه ْم ۖ َول ْو كنت فظا غ ِليظ القل ِب‬ ِ ‫ف ِب َما رح َم ٍة من‬ َ َْ ْ ْ ‫َ​َل َنف ُّضوا م ْن َح ْول َك ۖ َف‬ ُ ‫اع‬ ‫ف َعن ُه ْم َو ْاستغ ِف ْر ل ُه ْم‬ ِ ِ َ َ ْ َّ َ َ َ َ ْ َ َ َ َ ْ َ ْ َّ َّ َّ ُ ْ َ َ َ‫اَّلل‬ ‫اَّلل ۚ ِإن‬ ِ ‫وش ِاوره ْم ِ يف اْلم ِر ۖ ف ِإذا عزمت فتوكل عَل‬ َ ‫ب ْال ُم َت َو ِّكل‬ ُّ ‫ُيح‬ 3:159 - ‫ي‬ ِ ِ

trench to protect the unprotected city

So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad],

community at large. It says in the Quran ُ ْ َ ْ َ َ َ َ َ َ َ ْ َ َّ ْ ُ َ ْ َّ ِّ َ َ ْ َ َّ ‫وف‬ ٍ ‫َل خي ِ يف ك ِث ٍي من نجواهم ِإَل من أمر ِبصدق ٍة أو معر‬

parts from the intruders. This is an example of

Shura

in

action.

3. Avoid making secret decisions on community matters, or home matters without proper consultation. Its which effects the

you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart,

(Continued on page 21)

20

is easier to listen to and address people’s

(Continued from page 20)

concerns.

َّ َ َ َ َ ْ َ َ ْ َ َْ َ َ َّ َ ْ َ َ ْ ْ َ ‫اَّلل‬ ‫ي الن‬ ‫أو ِإصَل ٍح ب‬ ِ ‫ات‬ ِ ‫اس ۚ ومن يفعل ذ ٰ ِلك اب ِتغاء م ْرض‬ ِ َ َ َ ْ َ ً ‫ف ُن ْؤتيه أ ْج ًرا َعظ‬ 4:114 - ‫يما‬ ‫فسو‬ ِ ِ ِ

In conclusion, groupthink is a serious issue, which engulfs communities and breaks

No good is there in much of their private

them apart. It depletes fresh perspectives,

conversation, except for those who enjoin

novel ideas and beauty to work together for

charity or that which is right or conciliation

the solutions provided by consultations and

between people. And whoever does that

adapted by all. It also stops the idea of pro-

seeking means to the approval of Allah -

gressing of the individual because most

then We are going to give him a great re-

people do not use their intellect, as they

ward.

know they will be bullied or thrown out of the group if they speak in opposition, thus

In the interpretation of this verse one of

creating a vacuum of opinions and creating

the scholars mentioned that Islam likes

hypocrisy in people because they know in

openness in decisions. It doesn’t like people

order to be attached to that group they

making decisions in secrecy. So, we should

have to shut-up and praise the so-called

avoid backdoor secret decision making and

leader. This thinking process is a devastation

rather we should be open with everyone

for both the individual and the society to-

and seek suggestions. Giving an honest and

gether. While Shura on the other hand en-

sincere suggestion is one of the rights of

courages open discussion so that we don’t

people over others.

purge our members because they disagree,

4. We need to trust each other, if we trust

but instead we learn how to disagree with

that others also want the best for all of us, it

respect.

Photo by twinsfisch on Unsplash

21

This is a memoir which has taken the world by storm. There is a reason for it to deserve this reputation. This is a story of a self-made woman who is intelligent enough to discover herself and move away from her restrictive upbringing by growing her own set of wings to fly high and not look back. It is a lesson for parents to not be fanatics in parenting their children or they can be at risk of losing their children.

It is basically the story of a father whose mind is at odds with scientific learning, knowledge, and progress of all kinds which is prevalent in the present times. Thus cuts himself and his family off from society to a remote place, far away from all the amenities of modern life, so that his religion is not tainted by any prevailing modern influence. His tragedy is to discover that all his children eventually leave him as they grow up, especially his daughter, who has been so unbelievably patient and uncomplaining throughout her life, so he has nothing left.

One excerpt from the satirist “Ontillas” “On The Folly Of Men” says that “There are three and only three kinds of men in the world: cynics, fanatics, and mandate schoolmen”. In this heart-breaking story we see an example of this quote in the character of a fanatic ‘Dad’ who is mentioned on nearly every page in the book just as vividly as he leaves his mark in his daughter’s mind. Also it’s not too uncommon that many times mental illness is shadowed by pride or over religiosity.

Sometimes schizophrenia is masked by talking to God. The signs we see of mental illness are often masked by paranoia or other extreme nonsensical behaviour.

Our society is still working on achieving mental illness as a non taboo issue. For a successful treatment for mental illness to be developed we need more research. We also need to influence the societies to help each other if they see mental illnesses is affecting families and communities, with empathy. More often these are kept hidden because peo22

ple don’t want to break their families apart; which often happen in the case of mental illnesses. This book gives you insight of a troubled mind and this troubled mind doesn’t come from any tragedy from the past , as often, it’s thought to be the reason. This book will also take you through the journey of narratives people believe and systems you never thought existed in USA. We as Muslims are often told that Allah will fix our mental health, if we pray for it. Prayer and strength of eman will give you conviction to heal mentally too. But when you read this book you will understand that mental illness, how may ever it seems, simply needs treatment too. Medical science is there to help. It is not a sign of weakness to ask an outside institution for help, rather, it is a sign of caring and strength. Rather than wreak havoc on others lives, it is better to seek treatment and do good to oneself and one’s family.

23

These days babysitting has evolved into a new field called early childhood education.

This change involves learning a new set of behaviors by the adults as they try to interact with the child in the daycare center. It involves becoming a role model for the children to guide their behaviors. These certificates and diplomas are being taught in various vocation-based colleges and jobs are certainly guaranteed given the high turnover rate of such jobs.

children learn and the ages and stages of learning. The early childhood educator learns to recognize the root causes behind the child’s challenging behaviours, (an especially important and useful theory about mistaken goals developed by the famous theorist Rudolf Dreikurs), and learns to tackle them using the right tactics.

•

Thus, if the child’s goal is undue attention to get special service the educator knows that the reason behind this behavior is the child’s mistaken belief is that he or she counts only when being noticed or catered to all the time by an adult. What the child really needs is to be redirected in a useful task. (From: https://www.positivediscipline.com/)

•

Or if the child is being bossy and not listening to others the educator knows that this behavior is the child’s way of finding a sense of belonging but what the child really needs is to be given choices and be allowed to help, in other words, to be redirected to positive power.

This job is both rewarding and challenging. It certainly demands a lot of energy on the early childhood educator’s part but love for children keeps them going and many attachments are formed on both sides. If done right, it is a solution where everyone benefits on both sides.

Unlike babysitters who do not receive any formal education about children, early childhood educators learn from famous early childhood theorists like Piaget and Vygotsky about the four stages of development as well as cognitive development and thus learn what to expect from children when working with them. Educators learn what are age appropriate behaviors, how

(Continued on page 25)

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(Continued from page 24)

(From: https://www.positivediscipline.com/) If the child’s goal is to seek revenge to get even, the educator knows that this means the child thinks that he or she can’t be liked or loved and is hurting. The educator then shares the child’s feelings and helps the child.

(From: https://www.positivediscipline.com/)

•

If the child feels inadequate and wants to be left alone the educator knows that the reason behind this behaviour is that the child feels helpless and unable to do something right. But what the child really needs is for the adult to have faith in the child’s ability to learn, however slowly. So, the educator responds by breaking the task into small steps to make it easier until the child experiences success.

(From: https://www.positivediscipline.com/) In short, knowing the child well and what they need makes the educator’s task easier and they can satisfy the small day to day concerns as they arise or even before they arise by addressing each concern promptly and thereby achieve excellence in their field.

References: http://www.positivediscipline.com

Photo by Dragos Gontariu on Unsplash

25

Whether this dessert is a form of a bread pudding turn royal or other way around. Or it may have some other history; this dessert is still considered royal by South Asians. This delectable dish is named differently by different regions. Like it is sweeter counterpart also called Double ka Metha by some.

This appetizing dish is quite easy to make, and any novice can perfect their hands quickly if they know basic rules of cooking a dish. Fry the bread in a ghee (clarified Butter); soak in aromatic sweet milk, garnish with some nuts and khoa (curd) and voila, your dish is ready.

Here I am sharing a simple recipe for you to enjoy.

Bread: 7 slices Milk: ½ litre

Evaporated milk: ¼ litre Ghee: Enough to deep fry Sugar: ½ cup or to taste Saffron: Few strands Orange color: 1/8 tsp (optional) Khuoa or curd: ½ cup (well drained curd) Almonds & Pistachio: To garnish Cut the bread diagonally in half. Trim the sides, but it’s optional. Fry them in ghee till they are light brown evenly. Arrange evenly in a flat oven proof dish. In other pot, boil milk with sugar, saffron, color, and evaporated milk until it changes its; color to beige. julienne the nuts after boiling and skinning. Some recipes add nuts to the milk when boiling thus eliminating this step. Add prepared milk to the fried bread until it covers the bread fully. Cover it with foil and bake it on 350 for 15 minutes or until bread is exceptionally soft. Garnish evenly with nuts and khoa or (drained curd). Can be served hot or cold.

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Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash

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