NorthWest Muslim Spring 2021 Issue

Your Issues Your Voice

Spring 2021

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

Content Editorial .................................................. 06 Islam & Bargaining With Patriarchy ......... 10 Ramadan In a Glimpse ............................ 20 Me, Myself & I ........................................ 22 Under Stress ............................................ 30 Racism From Within ............................... 34 Journaling to Health ................................ 42 Seek Me! ................................................. 46

Life is A Journey ...................................... 52 Sunflower Fields ...................................... 58 Egg Fried Rice ........................................ 62 Wealth & Spending ................................. 64

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Our Team Writers:

Editors: Ayesha Nasir, Beenish Khurshid

Ayesha Nasir

Proofreaders:

Beenish Khurshid, Fozia Khan,

Harris Nami

Rabia Saad,

Editor-in-Chief, Layout,

Rahamatullah Siddique

Design & Illustrations:

Shaista Khurshid &

Shaista Khurshid

Zeba Hashmi

Quran and Hadith Quotes www. Quran.com , www.Sunnah.com

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EDITORIAL

6

EDITORIAL which has made us realize the importance of the human touch. We miss hugs,

A

the empathic tap, a pat on s COVID-19 has the back, the caress of a griped us and loved one, a bear hug, or moved from last year the opportunity to cuddle a

to this year with no end in sight, our patience is taking a roller coaster ride.

Not only has COVID-19 created havoc on the world's health, it has also taken jobs, businesses, and lives.

As we continue to feel that punch, we change a lot in many ways, and we have learned a lot from it.

For one, COVID-19 has digitized human connections.

Our contactless meetings have given us the opportunity to meet distant people yet kept us away from near ones. It is COVID-19 7

grandchild.

There were multiple ways we connected to each other and how it benefited us, we never comprehended until we were banned from doing it. It feels so heartbreaking when we cannot put a hand on the grieving shoulder or give a congratulatory hug to a deserving person. I assume that the human race is resilient. It goes through many leaps and bounds and comes out on the other side much stronger.

(Continued on page 8)

Spending’. The second part of ‘Me Myself & I’ look a little deep into the history of narcissism. And last but not

(Continued from page 7)

I am hoping and praying that this gripping test we have faced together will help us to realize that the time we spend on this earth is productive and valuable. I hope we learn to live and

least, ‘Sunflower Fields’ is a story for our young readers to enjoy. I hope you too will enjoy this issue.

I would like to give a huge round of applause to our writers, editors and proofreaders, who have worked hard

let live. That we come out a better person, a better society, and a better world. I hope we use this time to foster strength to leave materialism and self indulgence, and instead create

to bring this issue to you, despite being busy, sick or overwhelmed with personal or COVID-19 related stresses.

Reading their work and sharing with

justice and empathy. Nevertheless, when we come out of this, may our new normal be better than the normal we were used to.

your family, friends and colleagues will encourage our writers to continue this journey enthusiastically. Contact us through email northwestmuslim@gmail.com. Please feel free to

Ramadan is around the corner and we are preparing for it; hoping that we will be able to attend the prayers as was the practice of days old. This issue In'Sha'Allah will bring us a dose of much needed uplifting.

comment and suggest your voice for our coming issues.

Check out this issue for thought provoking, critical thinking pieces: ‘Life’s a Journey’, ‘Islam & bargaining with Patriarchy’. and ‘Racism Form Within’.

Mental health has been on top of the mind with: ‘Under Stress’ and ‘Journaling to Health’, while ‘Seek Me’ might uplift you spiritually In'Sha'Allah. We discuss finances in ‘Wealth & 8

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EYE OPENER

Islam & Bargaining with Patriarchy By: Rabia Saad, Karachi, Pakistan

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Unsplash

10

“

The term patriarchal bargain … is intended to indicate the existence of set rules and scripts regulating gender relations, to which both genders accommodate and acquiesce, yet which may nonetheless be contested, redefined, and renegotiated. … However, women as a rule bargain from a weaker position”. Deniz Kandiyoti (1988)

Unfortunately, the portrayal of Islam

shows that the religious fundamentals have given birth to patriarchy.

We do not need to blame any media portrayals or specifically western media portrayals for this, because when mainstream Islam is taught in Muslim communities, it largely emphasises the inferior social positioning of women and deviant male domination - something that does not originate from early Islamic teachings themselves, but is a mud-

Modern men and women are constantly negotiating a fine power bal-

dle of social and cultural suppres-

ance today - a balance which was once tilted only towards the male.

sive attitude. If a modern Muslim woman in today’s time is unclear of what it means for her husband to be

But does that mean patriarchy is obsolete?

her ‘qawam’, it is the repercussion

of a closed society towards religion women itself does not alone weaken and gender.

In my opinion, the cultivation of

patriarchy. As Deniz Kandiyoti (1988) once wrote, when women

Men even share the same vagueness and vacuum.

bargain with patriarchy, they do so from an inferior position. In order to secure empowerment in some small

As a result, modern Muslim men and women are at loggerheads with

portions (financial benefits, domes-

each other, no different from the

tic control etc.), women strengthen

non-Muslim world.

deep misogynistic ideas and nurture patriarchy from its roots.

(Continued on page 12)

11

(Continued from page 11)

cept being pushed into Muslim

As part of one of my research projects, a focus group study with eight

society that, in their eyes, will tarnish the moral values of the peo-

men (a mix of educated profession-

ple.

als from urban Karachi, Pakistan), on

These were the notions of all those gender based domestic violence, the eight men, ranging between 19 and major findings revealed that: 50 years of age. These men were

1. Four of them did not even consider mental health resulting out

those, who had been taken care of by the women in their lives, for all

of domestic abuse a problem. Ac-

their life; women who focused on

cording to them a Muslim household is only blessed and mental

them, their comfort and their needs .

The discussion concluded on one of

health issues are a western con-

the participants’ remarks, “There has

cept.

2. One of them discarded the

been too [little] conversation around male dominance in real sense. As a

consideration of the husband's

society we need to talk more.”

anger-turned-abuse as abuse out-

It is important who is doing the talking. When the West talks, there is

right. For him wife’s obedience should be prime.

radical protest. When the East talks,

3. Though by the end of the focus

there is fascism or conservatism. We don’t talk Islam and gender in our

group, they were able to reach a consensus around mental health

homes (in a generalized manner).

of men and women being at stake and that verbal or physical abuse is wrong.

Let’s go through the case of an edu-

4. However, financial independ-

married out of her choice, as an ex-

cated and high spirited muslim girl,

ence of women remained an alien

ample to look into the state of mind

idea across the group - not only an alien idea but a foreign con-

(Continued on page 13)

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to delegitimize not her arguments

(Continued from page 12)

of today’s Muslim youth and identify but her position itself - questioning the conversations we need to start her ability as a responsible wife, reto deconstruct this entrenched pa-

sponsible daughter-in-law and later

triarchy.

as a responsible mother. It was easy

Her friendly close family counselling

to question because she was juggling with work, domestic life and a

advised: “In matters of decision

social life. A minor slip here and anmaking always ensure to hold your other there, and weighty criticisms husband’s word as superior. A womgrew into taunts, and taunts into an may control the entire adminswear words. istration of family and domestic life but the decisions should be made Then she was hit. by the husband. You’ll see how

She tried to convey that she is harmed.

much balance it is going to bring.”

Once with her husband, it took her

She was hit again.

some time to implement it. Her up-

bringing with her father was only to She absorbed it. Why? inform him but decide herself, much cordially, much amicably. This be- Because, she convinced herself that came the first source of contention she was blessed and privileged. She

with her husband for a long time. was allowed the freedom to work.

She spent her energy communi- She was let to be financially indecating her analysis, sense of judge- pendent. She was allowed to study. ment, and preference for holding a She was allowed to enjoy with her point of view to gain acceptance of family and friends. that view from her spouse. But this

Do all these blessings make the rela-

was only met with greater confrontionship okay for her - even if she is (Continued on page 14) tation. Her husband’s response was 13

spouse: right to inherit, to own

(Continued from page 13)

not accepted (for being too critical property, to seek a livelihood, marry and opinionated) by the ‘man’? At with consent, and to be educated. least she was securing freedom. She And she’s all praise for the man in was made to realize, time and again her

life

for

granting

these

how much better off she was com- ‘favours’ (which were supposed to pared to other women. And how be her basic rights). other women are better than her,

But she stops feeling any love for who only value their husband’s conher husband. She can't see through sent above all others including his eyes. Through him she can only her’s. see the being of men as a collection She learned this bargain. She want- of ‘shar’ (source of evil). She endorsed to pursue her passion of writing es all the protests against men anyand research. She secured her one where in the world - She Hates Men. form of freedom outside the walls She over-burdens herself, granting and gave up her opinion within the favours to others to the extent that walls called home. The situation she’s always feeling guilty - guilty to eventually became cordial and amibe at her workplace (a place which cable, because the confrontation depays for her hardwork and the monclined. At some stage, a woman ey translates into her family’s well gives up the fight to ensure her being). Her guilt makes her not to mental peace. And also to add a read sufficiently, not to pray suffiperformance point that her house is ciently, not to laugh sufficiently, not peaceful and cherishable. to communicate sufficiently. She So with time, she is ingrained that all feels guilty of being under her huswhat the Quran has confirmed on band’s favours so much so that she her as her right is actually a mighty shrinks her idea of pleasure in front (Continued on page 15) favour bestowed on her by her 14

form of freedom she has been pro-

(Continued from page 14)

of her husband’s idea of pleasure. tecting) to work, to study, to socially She’s guilty of paying too much at- interact. She has learned this bartention to her side of the family. gain.

She’s guilty of expressing her ex-

So it was not innate. haustion. She’s guilty of including her husband in parenting responsi- She learned and acquired this trait bilities. She’s guilty of blaming the of bargaining. husband for any parenting failures.

In friction with her self-being.

Her self-worth lowers to the point

where she stops exploring learning This friction does not leave any meropportunities. She stops participat- cy with her. It tarnishes her confiing out of the fear of not knowing, dence. Her decision making. Her or being caught not knowing. She ability to please her family. Her abil-

ity to please Allah.

only does the calendar tasks.

She trembles at the idea of making Eventually, this friction tarnishes her desire to please the man whose errors. dominance she started bargaining

Error is a forbidden territory. If an er- with in the first place. ror happens, her entire performance so far comes under scrutiny and is And the desire to please Allah even nearly nullified. Error makes her pri- fades in some distance. orities be questioned. Error makes Has her heart turned black? her character get questioned. And she lets it be questioned. She lets Is it stoned? the questioning ego be satisfied.

She is not able to feel much now, She lets it be satisfied so that she’s but she is at least able to reflect on all clear to pursue her freedom (that (Continued on page 16) 15

patriarchal legacy, inherited from

(Continued from page 15)

this. And the more she reflects, parental generations. flashes of innumerable patience This time, when she bargains with shown, plenty of generous smiles patriarchy, this search for ‘khayr’ in gifted, words of wisdom imparted, the husband allows this modern others’ grief felt and attended to, Muslim woman to identify the inherchoices differentiating right from itance of deviant male dominance as wrong, upholding the truth and the source of ‘shar’ (evil) rather than searching for ‘khayr’ (goodness) in her husband being the collection of

her husband - all these deeds zoom ‘shar’. in and out of her mental slides.

Yes, here the modern Muslim wom-

Her practice of searching for ‘khayr’

an once again bargains with patriar-

in her husband was based on her

chy to support her husband to overbasic instinct as a believer and hucome the shackles of patriarchal legman being with any other individual acy. She once again lets her con(empathy). A practice that actually science speak to her husband’s conmade her survive through the abuse: science. She lets him feel the exverbal and physical. Because it lets haustion of carrying the legacy. her see her partner as a stranded male who likes her for all her point A legacy which was not given by the of views and mental strengths. And Prophet of Islam, a legacy which was because it helps her forget that if shackled by him to the age of Jahilithe same point of views are at odds yah (before Islam) each time he lovwith his views, he simply crushes her ingly called out to Aisha RA, each ego. Because he had always seen his time he respected the acumen of own father doing that.

Khadija RA, each time he stood up to welcome Fatima RA, and each

She finds herself not in conflict with the man in front of her, but a whole

(Continued on page 17)

16

with patriarchy but from an elevated

(Continued from page 16)

time he addressed the sanctity of stronger position. The search for women in Muslim Ummah. ‘khayr’, empathy, is an elevation, is a

strength. It emboldens and it empowers by allowing ourselves to see others not as sources of power, but as people just like ourselves, with failings and baggage. As the only source of power is Allah (God), AlQadir (The All-Powerful), AlMuqtadir (The Creator of All Power).

It allows women to play a higher role as life-partners on this journey of life - to identify the goodness of the partner for the sake of Allah and put efforts to maximize that goodness.

“O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah’s trust and with His permission.

If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers.”

The search for ‘khayr’ (goodness) in

“Barakah is the attachment of Divine

the husband also allows her to reach a heightened level of clarity - that nothing is anymore a favour. Because Islam does not oblige her. The search for ‘khayr’ let’s her show the husband that their son and daughter are awaiting to be treated in the same way as the parents treat each other now in their future relations as husbands and a wives to others.

goodness to a thing, so if it occurs in something little, it increases it.” (by a well known Daee) If there’s still no ‘khayr’, Islam em-

powers the woman to part-ways. “ … And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does (Continued on page 18)

Islam makes the woman bargain 17

(Continued from page 17)

not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set, for everything, a [decreed] extent.” (65:2-3)

Messenger of Allah (SallaAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: “There

should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Ibn-Maajah)

Islam does not retreat the woman into conservatism or turn her into a radical protestor. Islam pushes her into a progressive individual - always making choices with principles and conscience. Islam invites public sphere conversations around gender based domestic violence, independence of women and mental health.

Islam does not bargain with basic principles of humanity.

18

19

20



Ramadan moves around from winter to summer



and to winter again

9th Month of Hijri Calendar



No Food or Drink



29 or 30 Days of Fasts



Duration: Dawn till Dusk



Safeguarding your Action



Short in Winters



Long in Summers



Shaytan is in Chains



Safeguarding your Tongue



Sleep in Also Rewarded



No Intimate Relationships



All non-obligatory prayer is upgraded in reward of

obligatory prayers 

Every Good deed is Rewarded by Allah More than 70 Times



All obligatory prayers are rewarded immensely

while Fasting



Lail-tul-Qadr: Last 10 -Nights



LAIL-Tul-Qadr: A night worth of 1000 months of Rewards



Taraweeh: A long nightly prayer only in Ramadan



Zakat-ul-fitr: An obligatory Charity before Eid



Night Before Eid: Pray & Ask for acceptance of Deeds



Eid celebration: A Reward for A Blessed Ramadan 21

SOCIETY

An In-depth Look At Narcissism

Me, Myself & I By: Fozia Khan, Mississauga, Ontario Fozia Khan is an Al Balagh Academy Certified Islamic Psychology L1 Anthroposophical Psychology Counselor. Currently studying Political Science, Philosophy, and Islamic Psychology. She has a background in Journalism. She is also a Visual Artist and a Writer.

Photo by Zane Lee on Unsplash 22

Part 2: Story of Narcissism, from both Greek & Islamic Perspectives

T

here is an old story, steeped in symbolism, revealing aspects about self perception -- or even the opposite — revealing lessons about the lack of per-

ception about oneself and others. This lack of

A Three Part Series 1. Clarity Around Narcissism, From Healthy to Unhealthy 2. Understanding the Story of Narcissism, Ancient Greek (Unani) and Islamic Perspectives 3. Spiritual Approaches and Discovery of the Nafs

true self perception is the story of a young man, Narcissus (where the word and concept of Narcissism originates from), that unveils his pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving, and the punishment he endures as a consequence.

It carries tremendous insights about the spiritu-

al psychology of self, what to avoid, and why it is necessary to shift certain personal and collective narcissistic perspectives: because they can be neglectful and harmful to one’s self, and one’s interpersonal relationships, with the world and the Divine.

We see how the elements of his story personify (Continued on page 24)

23

endure looking at a shallow image of character traits of one who lacks the himself. He died looking at his own requalities of deeper awareness, hu- flection, and where he died there grew flowers called Narcissus as a reminder mility and gratitude: of his self-obsession.

Narcissus was a youth gifted with tremendous beauty, and all admired him (Buxton, Richard. “The Complete for his beauty. He found himself so World of Greek Mythology.” 2004 beautiful that he admired himself con- Thames & Hudson Ltd, London) (Continued from page 23)

stantly. He caught sight of his reflection by still waters and began to admire himself and only himself, falling deeply in love with his image. He had no regard for those who loved him, nor regard for any other concern except to please himself with his own image. His beauty and love were superficial, skin deep, not one of beautiful character and conduct, nor of being able to see another and show love, respect and care to others. He attributed his gifts of beauty to his own self. This is called Hubris, or self-pride, and arrogance, the greatest sin in ancient days. He did not feel gratitude for the gift of his beauty given from above. As a result of his hubris, a being called Nemesis was sent to lay a curse on him, for his sin.

The curse was that he could not turn away from his reflection, but to forever

We begin by first very earnestly emphasizing and appreciating that stories of old are steeped with symbolic happenings that teach greater truths about the world, about the self, the self in the world, or even

the world mirrored in the self. Primarily, as Muslims we are concerned with our relationship to God, and all other relationships help us to better understand this primary relationship as God conscious beings who have trust in and reliance on Allah.

All cultures tell stories to understand the world and to pass on teachings generation after generation providing a continuity of beliefs, values and lessons helping in(Continued on page 25)

24

lose connection to traditional spir-

(Continued from page 24)

dividuals and communities resilient- itual teachings due to an atheistic ly survive the tests and trials of the modern culture that seemingly world, to see the pattern of some- doesn’t value tradition and moral thing greater in the events of every- teaching stories, there is a sense of day happenings. These stories a loss of spiritual introspection, conhelped to contribute to psychologi- tinuity and meaning about events in

cal resilience in one’s self and com- our lives. munity throughout time. Partly, on “If the conscious mind does not contain why there might be greater difficulties handling anxi-

“

modern culture that seemingly doesn’t value tradition and moral teaching stories, there is a sense of a loss of spiritual introspection, continuity and meaning about events in our lives.”

eties and depression in our times, it such categories of understanding – relimay be because we have been gious concepts, mythological consomewhat disconnected from tradi- cepts—it will have no bridge to the tions, spiritual values and stories deeper psychic layers. In such a case, with deep insights that elders the conscious mind will be either totally taught that were passed down since alienated from its psychic depths or it time immemorial. There has been a will be identified with them. Without a judgment by those only expound- conception of God, for example, we are ing science and modern atheistic apt to behave as though we were God philosophies that these stories are ourselves. Of course, this is not a conquaint, have no meaning nor utility scious thought, but in behaviour and to them for serving humanity, or are reactivity the ego is likely to identify purely artistic. It has been men- with the very thing that it has no way to tioned time and time again that conceive of – in this case divinity.” when we don’t have our elders, or (Continued on page 26) 25

creations. He tells us He is the Lord

(Continued from page 25)

(Edinger, Edward F. (1994) “The Eter- of Mercy and Compassion, remindnal Drama: The Inner Meaning of ing us again, and again to vigilantly Greek Mythology.”) practice love and mercy between our hearts, and to place boundaries Alhumdulillah, we still have access on things that take away from or to our teachings in the Qur’an. We that interfere with this priceless

are indeed taught to remember Al- awareness.

lah and revere the Word he sent, These stories are sacred in the because Allah too teaches us greater truths they reveal, meaning through stories or analogies, en- they are full of deep profound, pen-

“

Narcissus could not see his whole self, deeper than his superficial traits. He also could not see the needs of anyone other than beside himself. He was cursed with complete delusion.”

etrating

in-

sights about an aspect of life that is meant to be

gaging our imagination to reflect. approached with awe and reverWe are taught to look into the ence, full of beauty and lessons world and observe signs, inside and about what it means to be human, outside of ourselves. Allah builds as creatures created by Allah, for Alour psycho-spiritual identity lah. Allah says essentially that we

through the penetrating imagery of are created to remember Him, to the verses of the Qur’an. The Qur’an worship Him and to look into the is brimming with stories of teaching, world for His signs (ayaat). Allah’s where

Allah

speaks

about

the signs are also in these stories, which Prophets, and the world He created, take our imagination into the very the creatures He created, and how real presence of what happened beHe created us to have a relationship (Continued on page 27)

with Him in the world with other 26

preserving and putting into practice

(Continued from page 26)

fore our time, and what the experi- the ideas that resonated with the ences were for our beloved Proph- over arching principles of what our ets, Allah have mercy and peace up- tradition taught. Muslims have alon their souls. Ameen.

ways

had

a

deep

respect

for

As in the Islamic Tradition, there are knowledge and wisdom, as exemplified by the Prophet (SAW), and stories told too of old from other many of his sayings demonstrate people and communities that spoke of universal truths that explain what that. We have a growing interest in psychological insights these ancient it means to be a human being, and stories offer as they parallel scriphow to humbly live in the world as an individual, but also as an individ- tural stories, and why delving into the psychological truths of the stoual with others, as a part of a comries of cultures has certain medicinal munity. These stories are a part of the customs and values of the peo- and therapeutic benefits. ple of those lands, often being a With deeply reflective reading, we source of laws. The stories that help can begin to see how this mythoteach us about our role and place in logical story exemplifies selfthe world are of even greater signif- obsessive character traits, what we icance.

discovered about Narcissism, and

The story of Narcissus comes to us its extreme pathology called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. from Unani, or Greek cultures. The Unani collection of knowledge pre- Our understanding of this story is dates Islam, including its medicines, further enhanced by what we know philosophy and mythology. The of Shaytaan’s traits: his excessive Muslim

world

carried

this pride and self-obsession, disregard

knowledge forward with respect for Allah’s commands and considerand curiosity for ancient wisdom,

(Continued on page 28)

27

(Continued from page 27)

ferent individuals, and we become

ing himself better than Adam (AS).

He asked for permission to pull,

aware that many of these people had no concern for the welfare of

and distract humanity away from

any other, except their own. They

God. When we forget God, we be-

only see themselves and desire to

come prideful like Shaytaan. When we forget Allah, we begin to wor-

fulfill their own needs with contempt for others. They have been

ship aspects of the image of our-

veiled from seeing Allah.

selves that distance us from Allah and alienate us from our better

But, when we turn toward Allah, we remember our identity as creation

selves and others in our lives.

of Allah, with a pure and primordial identity and nature, a fitra, and this

Moreover, we lose a sense of reverence and gratitude for the bless-

helps us conceptualize our reality in

ings Allah has bestowed. In a sense,

constant remembrance of Allah, also in relation to the rest of creation.

Narcissus very much follows the example of turning away, pride, and disobedience that is described

We do this by connecting to the stories in the Qur’an, and other sto-

about Shaytaan, and we begin to

ries that remind us about internal spiritual challenges on the level of

see a picture of forgetfulness of one’s identity.

the soul or psyche. Narcissus could

The Qur’an mentions other narcissistic archetypes with similar psy-

not see his whole self, deeper than his superficial traits. He also could

chological profiles whom we are al-

not see the needs of anyone other

ready very familiar with, such as Pharoah and his arrogance, Nimrod

than beside himself. He was cursed with complete delusion.

at his prideful audacity, Abu Lahab

One could say narcissism is a dis-

and Abu Jahl at their hostile behav-

ease or discomfort brought on by

iour to the Prophet (SAW). We can see these traits that appear in dif-

(Continued on page 29)

28

in an abusive relationship will also

(Continued from page 28)

neglect and forgetfulness of the be offered for reflection. true meaning of being a human being in an attentive, loving and respectful relationship with others, in

Further Reading:

mutual care and concern for each other’s well being. The Prophet of

“Narcissism: Denial of the True Self,” by Alexander Lowen, M.D.

God, RasulAllah (SAW) said that he

“From Victim to Victor: Narcissism Survival Guide,” by Dr. Mariette Jansen

was sent to teach us manners. Arrogance, pride and self-obsession are characteristic of Narcissus, and also Shaytaan, and the other individuals mentioned earlier, their stories demonstrate how they were defi-

cient in manners. This is a lesson for us to attend to always and vigilantly - manners towards God, others, and one’s self.

Next time, we will begin to examine aspects of the soul, or nafs, as un-

derstood by Islamic Psychology, and what our tradition teaches us to help prevent narcissistic character traits from developing, and what remedies it offers. Narcissistic abuse is very serious and has a terrible impact on the lives of many.

Therefore a case study of a woman 29

“But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath” by Dr. Sherrie Campbell “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson “Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships.” By Dr. Sue Johnson

(Buxton, Richard. “The Complete World of Greek Mythology.” 2004 Thames & Hudson Ltd, London) (Edinger, Edward F. (1994) “The Eternal Drama: The Inner Meaning of Greek Mythology.”)

Reference: Guarino, G. (2019, July 8 ). The Different Types Of Narcissism.

Psych Point. https:// www.psychpoint.com/mentalhealth/articles/the-different-typesof-narcissism/ th

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Under Stress

By Beenish Khurshid, San Francisco California 30

S

tress means to load some-

people who are about to break

thing to its limit.

and instead a society which is ready to handle life's uncertain-

Think of stress as the

ties.

weight of books and yourself as a table. If a table was bending under the weight of too many

Stress is not something that is "handled". Stress should not be

books, we would take the books

something we experience on a

off. We would add supporting beams so that we could put a lot

regular basis. Stress is something that should happen on occasion

more books on. For people, we

and it is something that we pre-

expect them to "handle stress better". But stress, by definition,

pare for.

isn't handled well.

Instead of “handling” hard and stressful situations on a regular

When you load something to or beyond its limit, you never know

basis, we should get out of these situations and prepare for the

how it will respond.

days to come. Some examples of

how we can prepare ourselves for I propose that when we are under stressful situations:

stress, or we see someone under stress, we reduce their load and add support to help them build

(1) strength training - to have physical preparation for strenu-

their capacity. This can be either

ous days. For example, expectant

through training, external sup-

mothers walk a lot in their last tri-

ports such as hiring people to help, or even social services. This

mester to help with delivery.

way, we don’t have a society of

(Continued on page 32)

31

(Continued from page 31)

(2) mental training - education is the (4) Psychological support - while key to mentally challenging days. spirituality may help with emotions Education can often help you solve

in trying times, trying times that af-

issues in a more quick and intelli-

fect our physiology aren't some-

gent way. Instead of having to do research on the spot, you have a

thing that we can train for. Cultivating a strong social circle may be the

wealth of knowledge to pull from

best way to prepare for stressful

when the need arises. For example, physiological situations. For exammental math skills help us vet every- ple, when going through a divorce day financial transactions under

or loss of a loved one, having peo-

pressure.

ple who will support and comfort you will reduce the stress of these

(3) spiritual training - prayer, faith,

situations manifold.

and a connection to God is what helps many through their most try- (5) Financial strength - savings help ing days. A clear picture of the spir- us deal with days when we have to itual landscape the All-Seeing and

spend a lot to make things right

All-Knowing has designed for us, such as justice through hell, reward

again - when the car breaks down, when your landlord ends your lease,

through heaven, provides us with a

when you need to find a new place

framework to help us cope with and (and rent protection means your carry on. For example, victims of war new place is going to cost a lot and injustice, such as the Rohingya

more), when your roof needs repair,

in Myanmar, after suffering through or your child needs to go to college. such atrocities, are able to pick up their lives and carry-on. This is only

The two best ways to gain financial strength are to reduce spending on

through the strength of their faith,

big ticket items (rent, car financing),

and their patience with God's will.

(Continued on page 33)

32

and to increase income, either

away will give you enough time

through side gigs, switching to higher paying jobs/careers, or invest-

and mental space to see the bigger picture. Implementing some of

ments.

the steps in “prepare” will help you handle your current situation bet-

(6) Planning - taking time out to plan our time, our finances, an upcoming

ter.

stressful social situation, or to break

2. Reduce your load. Say no to

down an important and difficult task, can take the stress out of the situa-

commitments and take a breather.

Picking what to give up can be hard, but if there is room to give

tion. Instead of having to think of 15 things in a short 10 minute period, we can spend 5 hours beforehand to

something up, sometimes it is best in the long run.

figure out the 15 things, and only

have to think of one thing in the 10

3. Ask for help. If you don’t want

minute period - what is next on the list.

to give something up, there may be people out there who are willing and able to help you. A family member can watch the kids. Hired

Preparing for situations in advance, whether known or unexpected, can

help can fix the sink. Your wife can

reduce stress levels. But once we are

manage the books. Your husband can cook the week’s dinner. A

in a stressful situation, it is important to know when the stress is too much,

neighbour can share “pick up from

and what one can do to handle the stress. A few ways to deal with a dif-

school” duties. Find people to help you. It will surprise you: some-

ficult situation once you are in one:

times you are actually helping oth-

1. Take a step back. Yes, things will

fail in the short term, but stepping 33

ers while helping yourself.

CRITICAL THINKING

W

e are living in a time where

minorities are finally being validated after years of ridicule and social annexation.

We see different groups advocating for movements like Indigenous Rights, or Black Lives Matter (BLM), which is phenomenal after systematic racism has impacted these groups for years.

But here lies the real question, as our people, those of the Islamic faith, run to support these movements, what are we doing from within our community?

Before I continue, I do want to

state that my views are in no way meant to discourage social activism, rather, I'd like us all to use the same enthusiasm to make a difference and start from within our communities.

Whether we want to accept it or not, racism is deeply rooted in our commu-

By: Rahamatullah Siddique,

nities. Ask the average Muslim, “What

Vancouver, British Columbia

tion or racism?” you will get answers like:

does your faith say about discrimina-

“Racism is not Islamic!”

(Continued on page 36)

34

Photo by Michael Marcagi on Unsplash

35

(Continued from page 34)

of discrimination than we want to

“Allah created Islam to demolish accept. How is this possible, racism” And finally the most fa- when speaking from a faith point mous hadith from the last ser- of view - we should be against it? mon delivered by Prophet Mu- Our people will first divide our hammad (SAW) “ There is no su- communities into two groups periority of an Arab over a non- Arab speakers, vs non-Arab

Arab, or of a non-Arab over an speakers. Sadly, those who speak Arab, and no superiority of a Arabic sometimes believe that white person over a black person they are more knowledgeable or of a black person over a white about the faith due to the mere person, except on the basis of fact that they are Arabs. Or they personal piety and righteous- believe that non-Arab speakers ness.”

can never achieve the same con-

But here lies my question. How nection with the faith because of many of us TRULY follow this? I the language barrier. This leads will present two scenarios here, to the discrimination against non the first from within our own Arabs. community - Muslim to Muslim, and second with regards to non- So is there logic behind this?

Muslims.

M USLIM T O M USLIM

Maybe? I mean at the end of the

day there is a whole new dimension of understanding we can gain of our faith if we all spoke/

From personal experience, via read/and studied classical Fus-ha helping numerous youth and Arabic. If we look back to the young adults through their expe- time where the Quran was reriences, I have witnessed that we, vealed, it was meant to challenge

Muslims, have a larger problem

(Continued on page 37)

36

ported by Aisha (RA)

(Continued from page 36)

the native speakers, who were masters in their language, to We are encouraged to read and bring a verse like it. No one try to achieve a level of undercould speak as eloquently as the standing. Then, we are also enwords of the Qur’an. But the couraged to seek help from Qur’an also says about itself: those trained in the religion to

'And We have indeed made the guide us on our way. The reQuran easy to understand and sources we have available enable remember, then is there any that us to gain knowledge of our will remember (or receive ad- faith. Next, I mentioned Classical monition)? ' (54:17). Allah sent Fus-ha Arabic above - the reality our faith as a message to all is, a small percentage of Arab mankind. Not knowing how to speaking

individuals

actually

speak the language does not have this level of linguistics. Mamean you cannot achieve a jority of those who are quick to strong connection with your pass judgments often speak a difaith. We see this with the Hadith alect, and can not even read and that

states: write the language in proper form. So how is that any different

“The example of those who recite from the person who is a non-

the Quran and memorize it is Arab speaker. that of one who is with the ‘righteous

and

noble One thing to note - one of the

scribes’ (80:15); and the example items that we will be judged on of one who recites the Quran is how we practiced our faith, with great difficulty is that of one claiming ignorance is not considwho receives a double reward.” ered to be an excuse. We all have

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) - Re37

(Continued on page 38)

(Continued from page 37)

ry single nation has a name for a

an obligation to learn. The first Muslim that is black, and it's word revealed was “IQRA” or usually a derogatory phrase. So “READ!”, showing us the begin- here's where I ask - we have an ning trend of Allah asking us to Example of Bilal (RA), one of the obtain knowledge. So for those most respected Muslims of the of us who have more training or prophets' time, who was black, knowledge than others in the and our communities look up to Arabic language, you are carry- him. But how would he be reing a big burden, you are one spected in today's world? I will step ahead of the rest of us. Are never forget Sh. Fayaz’s sermon you living up to your obliga- at Akram Jooma in Calgary, and tions? May Allah protect us all.

I’m paraphrasing here, when he said that we all look up to Bilal, The next part I would like to ad- but how many of us would turn dress here is cultural racism - a man away from marrying our this can be based on culture, daughters if he looked like Bilal? race, country, or even across towns and families. We as a Between all these levels - there community love to deny that lies a problem. We, the Ummah this exists, but let's face it, it of Muhammad, who was comdoes. If we look at countries like manded to eliminate all class Lebanon or Pakistan and India - levels and racial barriers, are there is racism towards peoples sometimes the worse culprits. from different parts of the countries -sometimes it's even based We need to start realizing that on the city! we are all humans to begin with, and then that we are all Muslims Furthermore, Muslims are judged based on skin color. Eve-

(Continued on page 39)

38

differing schools of thoughts

(Continued from page 38)

following that. Someone's back- and sects of our faith. That is ground should have no impact honestly a topic on its own, and I on how they are viewed as a will save it for another issue. person. Heck, we are not even allowed to judge a person based on their past sins, so how can we even attempt to justify it based

M USLIM TO N ON M USLIM In my humble opinion, our com-

munity does have a huge probon their skin, country of origin, lem with our quick judgments or heritage. towards non-Muslims. I have witnessed parents inform chilWe also have a huge problem dren “do not befriend a nonwith acceptance of multicultural Muslim, it is haram”. I have witmarriages. In fact, there is a nessed people say things like “ah large majority who outright reit doesn't matter how we treat ject it. Why? To keep the bloodhim, he is a kuffar and is going line clean? To prevent conflict to hell anyway”. because of different cultures?

Give me a break. That's absurd.

This is beyond dangerous. Allah The fact is there is no reason to informed us that in reality, we prohibit this. A Muslim is a Mushave no right to judge where a lim. Full stop. Cultural differperson will be for eternity, it's for ences are not a reason to justify Him to decide. I have literally any sort of discrimination - they witnessed Muslims tell others are CULTURAL not ISLAMIC. And that since we are the chosen when push comes to shove, Isones, we are going to Jannah. lamic values are our core values.

But last time I checked, this isn't Now this can lead into a coma monopoly game, and I don't pletely different topic - based on (Continued on page 40) the issues we Muslims have with 39

says about racism and dis-

(Continued from page 39)

have a get out of Jahannam crimination. We need to start free card in my angelic wallet. from within our own communities. If we spend time to WE DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT build good values from within TO JUDGE ANOTHER. Full our communities, then we trustop. It's Allah’s decree. How ly are practicing what we are

do we know that that person preaching when we join othwe befriend will not become ers’ movements. I encourage Muslim later on? How do we the youth of today to break know that that person is away from the cultural bagdamned to the hellfire and WE gage our elders are holding ARE NOT? We don’t. As Mus- from the homeland while lims, we have the obligation to holding as true as ever to the

treat every living soul equally Islamic values that unite us all. as a human being. Our faith We live in a cultural mosaic, even tells us how to treat and our faith encourages us to criminals justly, yet people maintain diversity alongside take it upon themselves to in- maintaining our beliefs and stantly judge others. practices.

This commentary is based on true events, experiences, and interactions. I have to say that in a world of social justice movements, we the Muslims, have a big task. We truly need to

lead

by

example,

and

demonstrate what our faith 40

41

Reflection

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Journaling to Health By: Ayesha Nasir, Hamilton Ontario

T

ruthfully, it took me a pandemic to book a session with a therapist.

Conversations surrounding mental health are happening more frequently, if the internet is to be believed. One of the things seen most in the pandemic is a rise in therapist-styled advice being

shared online. It makes sense: our mental health is suffering because of COVID-19.

In the time of the coronavirus, journaling can be a good alternative to therapy if one is unable to find or afford a therapist. I may be biased here: (Continued on page 43)

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

42

(Continued from page 42)

your conversations, what they find

I have written in journals for as long as I can remember.

is just a little of what you have shared. They miss out on the bigger

Keeping a diary was a cool thing to

picture of who you are, what you

do in the 90s, which is when I was

think about the subject in its entire-

born. It was all the rage to vent ty, and the ways your thoughts deyour deepest thoughts onto a page. velop.

During this pandemic, I have realised that some of us were venting on social media too. The internet is

That’s why I strongly believe journaling should be private. As of

a journal of sorts as well. Some of

sometime last year, I stopped writ-

us maintain blogs and write our thoughts in paid and free places

ing long captions on Instagram and divulging parts of my life. Even

online. But what we do not always

when writing to an audience such

realise is that these thoughts are

as that of NorthWest Muslim Maga-

not always in a private space.

zine, I am careful not to overshare.

The more you share with the world,

Journaling by its very nature is sup-

the more ammunition it has in the

posed to be private. It allows us to write what we are feeling without

moment it hurts you.

feeling judged or afraid. It is a safe

Being mindful of our thoughts

space, and as a brilliant cousin of mine says, it allows us to be our

looks like allowing them to come to your mind, allowing yourself to ob-

own friend. That is why reading

serve yourself think those thoughts

someone’s diary is like opening a

with curiosity, and then finally al-

letter that was not addressed to you lowing yourself to let go of that or eavesdropping. I have learned in thought. Not every thought is the past year that when people

meant to be a call to action for you

read your journal or eavesdrop on

(Continued on page 44)

43

(Continued from page 43)

practical exercise for you to try in

to respond to. Some thoughts are like bubbles that float in your mind.

the upcoming Ramadan: write down all of the names of Allah SWT in

They quiver and are fleeting. A jour-

your notebook and with each name,

nal helps us observe what we spend

write what you want to ask from Al-

time thinking about. We can see patterns in our thoughts and know

lah based on that name. So, for example, if you have trouble loving

when to be kinder and less critical

someone in your life, then ask Allah

with ourselves and those around us.

who is Al Wadud to make loving easy for you. As the Muslim comedi-

When I was a little girl, I read a book

an Nadirah Pierre says: “You are be-

in which the main character would write letters to her future self. I was

ing too modest in your prayers.”

so inspired and moved by it that on

Having the best mental health might

each birthday, I started writing let-

not be a realistic goal during a pan-

ters to my future self too. Keeping a diary is rather like writing letters to

demic. But writing just one page in a journal and easing our mind can be

your past, future, or current self. It is

an achievable and doable goal. May

a way of reaching inwards and putting to paper everything that you

Allah SWT give us all ease in this difficult time and allow our words to be

have been carrying on your own.

a source of support, strength and

The paper absorbs the ink and the heart feels lighter.

healing.

Ameen.

While some will say that praying to Allah SWT is the best way to lighten a burden, I have learned that we can improve our prayers when we first write about what’s on our mind and what we want to pray for. Here’s a 44

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash 45

SPIRTUALITY

Seek Me! By: Shaista Khurshid , Calgary Alberta

46 Photo by Muhaimin Mohd on Unsplash

ْ َ ُ‫قُ ْل ه َُو ٱ ه َُّلل َٱ َح ٌد ٱ ه َُّلل ٱ هلص َمدُ ل َ ْم ي َ د ِْل َولَ ْم ي‬ ‫وَل َولَ ْم يَ ُكن هَّلُۥ ُك ُف ًوا‬ ‫َٱ َحد‬

standing about who this big guy is, though we aren't quite sure since no one has ever seen this big guy ever.

Say, "He is Allah, [who is] One, Allah, the Eternal Refuge (the absolute). He The concept of God is not new, it neither begets nor is born, Nor is there has been present throughout the to Him any equivalent. Quran 112:1-4 ages. But, identifying Him as our deity was different in the past. As

A

humanity progressed, some forgot and muddled the concept, and llah, God, Illah, the big one,

some kept worshiping one or more

The Creator, the one up there, the big guy, all are

gods. The quest to know who God is, was always there.

the names many different

people identify someone or some-

We try to comprehend who He

where - the One who is controlling, creating, managing, or doing mira-

might be? We think: does He work alone, or does he needs helpers.

Where does He live? Does He have

cles for us. We ask Him favors, we thank Him for His blessings, we get angry with Him, we complain, and

a family? What is His gender? How

even curse Him for putting us

does He create or manage it all, or does He? The more questions we

through sufferings.

ask, the more the concept of

Whatever mood we are in, we rec-

Tawhid (oneness of God) gets muddled, thus making people more

ognise Him by our helplessness,

confused.

hopelessness, or hopefulness. We try to find solace in the big guy up there. We might have some under-

(Continued on page 48)

47

‫ٱ ه َُّلل َ​َل ٓ الَ ٰـ َه ا هَل ه َُو ٱلْ َح ُّى ٱلْقَيُّو ُم ۚ َ​َل تَأْخ ُ​ُذ ُهۥ دس نَ ٌۭة َو َ​َل ن َْو ٌۭم ۚ هَّلُۥ َما‬ ِ ِ ‫دِف ٱ هلس َم ٰـ َ َٰو دت َو َما دِف ٱ ْ َْل ْر دض ۗ َمن َذا ٱ ه دَّلى ي َْشفَ ُع دعندَ ُهۥٓ ا هَل‬ ِ ‫دَش ٍۢء دم ْن‬ َ ‫دِب ْذ دن دهۦ ۚ ي َ ْع َ َُل َما ب َ ْ َْي َٱيْ دد دهي ْم َو َما َخلْ َفه ُْم ۖ َو َ​َل ُ دُي ُيط‬ ْ َ ‫ون ب‬ ِ ‫دعلْ دم ده ٓۦ ا هَل دب َما َشا ٓ َء ۚ َو دس َع ُك ْر دس ُّي ُه ٱ هلس َم ٰـ َ َٰو دت َوٱ ْ َْل ْر َض ۖ َو َ​َل‬ ِ ‫يَـُٔو ُد ُهۥ دح ْف ُظهُ َما ۚ َوه َُو ٱلْ َع د ُِّل ٱلْ َع دظ ُي‬

(Continued from page 47)

The book of Allah is a connection of knowledge between our Creator and us. The first words revealed in the Quran were “Read! in the name

of your Lord who has created you from a clot of blood.”

1.

Allah - there is no deity except Him, the EverLiving,1

This book is urging us to know Him.

(Whose life is perfect, complete, and eternal, without beginning or end, and through whom all created life originated and continues.)

1

This book is full of multiple identifiers which can help us to know Him correctly. Each identifier is unique in the sense that it can appeal to many intellectual capacities, to those who

2.

want to know him. Through His books and messengers, He revealed

The Self-Sustaining.2

Dependent on none for His existence while being the sustainer and administrator of all created existence.)

2(

not only a set idea for exactly how to live our lives, but how to find Him as Him. He also wants us to worship Him with knowledge, revere Him with understanding, to

3.

Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep.

know him the way He is. Not the

To Him belongs whatever is way we think or want to think about 4. in the heavens and whatever is on Him. He wants us to look deeply and earnestly inside and outside the the earth. book and swap our assumptions

5.

Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission?

with truth.

(Continued on page 49)

48

any similarities to it. There are many

(Continued from page 48)

6.

He knows what is [presently] before them and what will be after them,3

many Ayahs which point directly towards Him and show how we should manifest him or see Him

through our heart. It also shows us Allah's knowledge encompasses every aspect of His creations to worship Him with understanding about Him as He has manifested in the past, present and future.)

Himself in His books.

7.

And they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for Action Item: what He wills.

3(

8.

His Kursī extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not.

9.

Some of us may study or glimpse through Allah's attributes, but it does not manifest in our hearts as it should. It also does not affect our

And He is the Most High,5

minds, or show its power on our

Above all His creations and superior to them in essence, rank, and position.)

5(

10.

The Most Great.

souls. Surely there is some misconnection here. Finding Him is a process which needs a deep dive into

6

our souls. And worshiping Him is a much deeper dive into our soul.

Whose greatness is unlimited, beyond description or imagination.)

6(

ٓ ‫ٱَّللُ ا‬ When He says about Himself: ‫َل‬ ‫ه‬ ۚ ‫ى ْٱل اقيُّو ُم‬ ُّ ‫( ِإلا ٰـها ِإ هَل ُه او ْٱل اح‬Allah - there is no

(Quran 2:255)

deity except Him, the Ever-Living).

What do we understand? Do we un-

The above Ayah shows some of the

derstand that there is no deity

unique divine attributes of Allah.

means we must clear our hearts of

These attributes are powerful and

(Continued on page 50)

unique in the sense that no one has 49

‫يَ ُكونُو ۟ا َك ه دَّل َين ُٔٱوتُو ۟ا ٱلْ دكتَ ٰـ َب دمن قَ ْب ُل فَ َطا َل عَلَْيْ د ُم ٱ ْ َْل َمدُ فَ َق َس ْت قُلُوُبُ ُ ْم ۖ َو َك دث ٌۭري‬ ‫ون‬ َ ‫دمْنْ ُ ْم فَ ٰـ دس ُق‬

(Continued from page 49)

all powers we think may affect us and the only power or giver or God

Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient. . Quran 57:16

is Allah? Do we understand from words ‘everlasting’ that He is never going to perish and only His creations are mortal? When He says: ‫لههُۥ‬ ‫ض‬ ِ ‫س ام ٰـ ٰ او‬ ‫( اما فِى ٱل ه‬To Him ِ ‫ت او اما فِى ْٱْل ا ْر‬ belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth). Does it give us an idea that no matter how strong, powerful, or rich anyone can be they cannot supersede ُ ‫او اَل ي ُِحي‬ Allah? When He utters: ‫طونا‬ ۚ ‫شا ٓ اء‬ ‫ش ْى ٍۢء ِم ْن ِع ْل ِم ِهۦٓ ِإ هَل ِب اما ا‬ ‫(بِ ا‬and they

This is just a little glimpse of how

we can understand his Attributes.

encompass not a thing of His

We should keep our minds and

knowledge except for what He

hearts open to Him and His words and see Him through His book and

wills). Does a thought come to our minds that no matter how high we

His signs that He has spread throughout this universe. Whether it is a change of seasons, the song of

think someone is they do not have the ability to even encompass what

a bird, the revolving of the planets,

Allah possesses whether it is Lordship or knowledge or more. And no

seamlessly interwoven universe, or anthropology of lost nations - His

-one can dare to take anything

away from anyone from whom Allah attributes sprinkled throughout the Quran and His universe. If we pasdoes not want to or cannot give if sionately look for Him, surely, we Allah restrains them. will find Him. (Continued on page 51) ‫َٱل َ ْم يَأْ دن دل ه دَّل َين َءا َمنُ ٓو ۟ا َٱن َ َْتشَ َع ُقلُوُبُ ُ ْم د دَّل ْك در ٱ ه دَّلل َو َما نَ َز َل دم َن ٱلْ َح دق َو َ​َل‬ 50

ٌ‫ْ َبء ب َ دصري‬ ‫َٱ َولَ ْم يَ َر ْو ۟ا ا َ​َل ٱ هلط ْ دري فَ ْوقَهُ ْم َص ٰـٓفه ٰـ ٍۢت َوي َ ْقبدضْ َن ۚ َما ي ُ ْم دس ُكه هُن ا هَل ٱ هلر ْ َْح ٰـ ُن ۚ انههُۥ دب ُ د‬ َْ ‫ك‬ ِ ِ ِ Do they not see the birds above them with wings outspread and [sometimes] folded in? None holds them [aloft] except the Most Merciful. Indeed He is, of all things, Seeing. Quran 67:19

Quran Source:(Saheeh International)

51

THOUGHT PROVOKING

Life is A Journey By : Zeba Hashmi, London Ontario 52

W

hile we are facing much uncertainty, moving for-

ward in 2021, we can

rest assured that our journey through life is uncertain. Uncertainty does not have to be a negative concept. Learning, applying effort, planning, and most of all having faith and a positive frame of mind, can direct us towards a fulfilling life In'Sha'Allah (God Willing).

When we are young, (Continued on page 54)

53

(Continued from page 53)

the Prophet (pbuh) as a provi-

there is a lifetime ahead of us.

Our lifespans are only known to

sion. The guidance given to us is for anyone to follow. Our essen-

Allah SWT (Subhan wa’ Ta’ala -

tial belief submits us to the One

May He be Glorified and Exalted)

God who oversees everything in

but we all expect to be born, live through the various stages of life

this life and beyond this life. Having faith allows a level of shed-

and return to our Creator.

ding away of some of the uncertainty. The spiritual connection is for us, because Allah SWT does

‘Verily we belong to Allah, and veri-

not need us, but we do need

ly to Him do we return’ (2:156).

Him.

There are so many questions from a youth who may be start-

As we grow older, our minds become more mature through

ing their post secondary education, such as:

learning from our experiences.

‘Where will my rizq come from?’,

direction we are heading in life as our studies begin to material-

‘Will I be successful in my career?

ize and our experiences begin to

‘Who will be my future partner?’, and

shape us. To feel the joys, one must understand sadness. To feel

We grasp a clearer picture of the

success, one must also feel fail-

‘Where will I live?’

ure. Challenges are part of life.

Allah SWT states, ‘Allah does not

We all wish to live the best life in this world and also have the best

burden a soul beyond that it can bear,’ (Quran 2:286) and ‘For indeed, with hardship [will be]

after-life. As Muslims, we have

the Holy Book and examples of

(Continued on page 55)

54

for him and the world over the

(Continued from page 54)

ease,’ (Quran 94:5). Allah SWT tells us that our challenges will

next 23 years of his life, till his death at the age of 63. However,

be as much as we can bear, and

there is great reward for youth

we will receive relief. Challenges

who are able to be close to Allah

require intervention utilizing the resources available along with

SWT in worship during when one might have many years ahead of

faith. Belief, prayer, and supplica- them. The concept of worship tion are to maintain our spiritual connection with our Lord. It is a

beyond the Fard (obligatory) is in every day living if the under-

necessary part of the faith to ex-

standing and intention is pre-

ert effort to solve problems and help others who are vulnerable

sent. Some examples are reaching out to parents with a kind

and need help. Seeking assis-

word, knowing that is what

tance of those who are experts in pleases Allah SWT, or smiling to their fields and professionals is a must alongside prayer and sup-

someone to uplift them, or feeding a hungry animal.

plication.

A thought-provoking hadith is As we progress towards middle-

one narrated by Ibn Mas’ud – ‘Be

age, we become more aware of who we are and what we wish to

in this world as though you were a stranger or a wayfarer.’ This

accomplish in life, if we have not

does not mean avoiding planting

already done so earlier. At times, maturity brings new direction to

a solid footing in our efforts but rather it is to be aware that we

our pathways. The Prophet

are born and at some point we

(pbuh) was 40 years old when he

must leave all that we see here.

received revelation which took him on a life-changing journey

This hadith shows us how to view (Continued on page 56)

55

(Continued from page 55)

knowledge with others.

life and to not become too attached to the material-

Our good intentions are being noted even if we are

ism surrounding us. We

not able to perform them.

should always strive to be

These good intentions,

the best version of ourgood efforts, and good selves, with the right inten- work can be in the form of

tions.

Another hadith that provides some direction to what Muslim teachings value: Narrated Ibn Mas`ud that

the Prophet (pbuh) said, ‘There is no envy except in

two: a person who God has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a person whom Allah has given wisdom and he gives His decisions accordingly and teaches it to the others’ (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

This hadith can provide guidance on how to optimize our lives by giving through monetary means

perpetual charity; they can be material such as contributing towards a well, a school, or a hospital. Benefiting others through the spread of useful knowledge, and addition-

ally, in the form of raising progeny who do good alongside with the intentions of doing it for the sake of Allah SWT. As creations of a higher power, Allah SWT, we are born into our environments which can dictate our paths, with many unknowns along the way.

Each individual faces their own successes and chal(Continued on page 57)

and sharing of beneficial 56

(Continued from page 56)

es, the more we can reach

lenges, and that is part of the journey. The ability to

out and uplift others, making us more beneficial in

understand our purpose in

society and in our faith.

life helps ground us, navi-

We keep reaching out and

gate, and focus on what matters. If we focused on

having conversations with the All Mighty, because He

the stable aspects in our

is the Hearer and Knower

lives, we would realize we have so much to be grate-

of all things.

ful for. For the more challenging aspects, we try our best with all the resources and supports that are

available, through family, friends, teachers, professionals, spiritual assistance through our mosques and centers. There are many successes out there as well as individuals who are fac-

ing hardship. If we apply the concept of doing good, we can make a little bit of difference for others.

We can all express our gratefulness for what we have. The more solid we

can be in our circumstanc57

Possessing a healthy mind, attitude, towards successes and adversity is important.

Demonstrating humility when provided with all the comforts in life is also essential. Staying grounded with our thoughts, regardless of our abilities and circumstances, is one way of acquiring peace and progressing through this beautiful gift of life.

KIDS CORNER

By: Ayesha Nasir, Hamilton Ontario

58

B

aasim’s favourite part of the the tray that Baba had prepared, tak-

day were mornings. He had ing it to Mama. a habit of sleeping early and his parents let him know

Mama was sitting in the garden un-

how proud they were that he woke

der the shade of a tree. Her feet were

up when the sun woke up.

swollen but the rest of her body seemed very fragile and small. She

Early in the mornings, Baasim would did not look like how Baasim rememthink about the dream he had the night before. The dreams that made

bered her being last year.

him happy were those he looked

In a year’s time, Mama’s sudden ill-

most forward to. Sometimes he would think about them for a whole

ness had changed her greatly. She was not able to do her chores and

week.

both Baasim and Baba were helping out with running their home. Their

“When I was younger, I did not understand why you and Mama asked

family included Baba and Mama’s parents too and looking after them

me to sleep on time, Baba,” Baasim

was a responsibility that Baba was

said to his father at breakfast one day.

taking care of as well.

“In my latest dream, I saw that we

Baba picked up the tea kettle and started pouring tea in the little cups

were all running through a beautiful forest. Mama, you were running so

that were Baasim’s mother’s favour-

fast that it seemed you were flying,”

ites. He told Baasim that being able

said Baasim.

to get enough sleep was a blessing from Allah SWT.

“It looks like Allah SWT was gifting you a special dream last night. May

“I get these amazing dreams too sometimes,” said Baasim, picking up

(Continued on page 60)

59

(Continued from page 59)

fully, it was Dadi who would enjoy

Allah make its outcome good,” said Mama.

reading magazines about new scientific research the most.

As his parents sipped their tea, 11

“Baasim, look what I found,” said

year old Baasim thought about the forest in his dream and how it

Nani. “This is a letter your mother wrote to me when she was your age.

seemed to have opened into a field

She had gone to meet her aunt in

of sunflowers. He imagined what it must be like walking through that

another city. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

field.

Baasim enjoyed the letter

“I wish I could take my family to a

very much. He did not realise Mama had been

place like that,” thought Baasim.

such a fun-loving and

adventurous person even Later that evening, Baasim went to as a child. He asked Nani his grandparents and met all four of if he could borrow the them. They were all reading sepa-

Gloss

Nana: Materna Nani: Maternal Dada: Paternal Dadi: Paternal

letter for a day. Nani agreed and

rately and sometimes together. His said it belonged to him just as much Nana enjoyed history and was read- as it belonged to her. ing out a page to his Nani. She had

a newspaper in her hands. MeanThe next day, Baasim showed Mama while, Dada was reading fiction that the letter and they laughed about it Baasim had picked out for him.

a lot.

Baasim’s Dadi would laugh whenever he brought a new book home for “Your mother has always been a his Dada. She would say Dada was great and imaginative writer, too old to read books that were be- Baasim,” said Baba before he left the

ing published these days. But truth-

(Continued on page 61)

60

(Continued from page 60)

house for work. Baba worked many jobs in a week. Today his job was to

letters to whoever you were when

you were older was so great.

“Dear Baasim in the future,

photograph a rally that was being held in the city.

I am writing to you from the past. I hope you remember what inspired you to write this letter. It was Mama and how creative and fun her letter to Nani was.

“I remember writing this letter and hoping it would reach your Nani against all odds,” said Mama. She said she told the local post office to take extra care of it and to

sary:

al grandfather l grandmother l Grandfather Grandmother

I hope you remember how much Mama loves you, even if she is not doing better in the future and can no “You would go to the post longer sit in the garden with you office when you were my when you have breakfast. make sure it reached its destination safely.

age?” Baasim asked.

I hope you remember her like you saw her in a dream: racing through a forest to reach a field of sunflowers.

“Yes, I loved sending letters to my family and friends. I would always save up money to buy postage

Please give my salaam and love to your family who I am sure will enjoy was somehow like I was writing a letreading this in the future. ter to the future me.”

Sincerely, You, when you were 11.” stamps and envelopes,” said Mama.

“I wrote a diary regularly too and it

Baasim thought about this for a minute. He had always thought of writing in a diary as a very girlish thing.

But he thought the idea of writing 61

T

here are a few keys to excellent egg fried rice:



Use cold rice. Freshly cooked, warm rice breaks more easily.

Using left-over, refrigerated rice will work better.



Heat the oil on high till hot before adding anything to it. Once the oil is hot, bring the heat down to medium-low and add the items.



Fry soy sauce first. Don’t add soy sauce directly on rice. First heat a bit of oil, add soy sauce in the oil and fry it until it changes to a lighter colour and reduces. Then stir the sauce into the rice.

Egg Fried Rice By: Beenish Khurshid, San Francisco California 62

Ingredients: 1 cup rice



Add one teaspoon of oil. Heat on high. When hot, bring the temperature down to mediumlow. Add garlic. Saute quickly (30 seconds). Remove garlic from wok and place with the scrambled eggs.



Add one tablespoon of oil. Heat on high. Add vegetables. Once they start searing and softening, bring heat down to low. Move veggies to one side of the wok.



Add two tablespoon of oil. Heat on high. Add soy sauce straight into the oil. Reduce the soy sauce until it changes colour and becomes bubbly. Add cold rice. Reduce heat to mediumlow and stir-fry.



Add garlic and eggs back in. Stir -fry.



Taste the rice. If it is too bland, make space in the wok, heat more oil on high. Add soy sauce and reduce. Stir soy sauce into rice and taste test again.

3 eggs (whites and yolks separated) Soy sauce ¼ cup (3 tbsp) Oil (sesame, sunflower, corn, or avocado)

Salt (to taste) 2 tablespoons minced or chopped garlic (optional) Vegetables (Optional): 2 bell peppers ½ cabbage 1 large carrot 2 stalks of green onion Other vegetables and proteins as desired

Method: 



Boil rice with salt per your preferred method. Refrigerate for at least ½ hour In a wok, put one teaspoon of oil. Heat on high. When hot, bring the temperature down to medium-low. Pour in egg whites. Scramble. Pour in egg yolk. Scramble. Remove scrambled eggs from wok.

63

FINANCES

Wealth &

By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta Photo By Lisa Woakes on Unsplash

64

H

oarding in general is an issue, but when it comes to wealth this issue can be more

debilitating than we think. It affects society and the world.

When a community's wealth is stagnant or only flows towards fewer people, it means that this community has some deep seated issues,

‫ا ْعلَ ُموا َٱن ه َما الْ َح َيا ُة اَلُّ نْ َيا لَ دع ٌب َولَه ٌْو َو دزينَ ٌة َوتَ َفاخ ٌُر‬ ۖ ‫بَيْنَ ُ ُْك َوتَ َ​َكث ٌُر دِف ْ َاْل ْم َوالد َو ْ َاْل ْو َ​َل دد‬ Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children.

57:20

Wealth can only become which needs to be addressed beneficial for this world and before it rots the society from the hereafter if we are willing its core. By no means, is beand sincere in spending it as ing rich and making money commanded. This creates wrong. Yet it becomes a conmovement or flow of wealth cern if society thinks or defrom one person to another, signs its laws in a way that it one city to another and so pushes the wealth towards forth. The equitable and conricher and powerful people, tinuous movement of wealth instead of all. A way to gauge through the world, like any a society is how they treat other resource, is the key to their vulnerable. survival and prosperity of hu65

‫َو َٱ دن ٱ ْس تَ ْغ دف ُرو ۟ا َربه ُ ُْك ُ هُث تُوبُ ٓو ۟ا الَ ْي ده يُ َم دت ْع ُ​ُك همتَ ٰـ ًعا َح َس نًا ا َ ٰ َٓل ٱَ َج ٍۢل‬ ِ ِ ‫ُّم َس ًّۭمى َويُ ْؤ دت ُ ه‬ ‫ُك دذى فَضْ ٍۢل فَضْ َ​َّلُۥ ۖ َوان ت َ​َول ه ْو ۟ا فَا د ّٓن َٱخ َُاف‬ ِ ‫عَلَ ْي ُ ُْك عَ َذ َاب ي َ ْومٍۢ َك دب ِ رري‬

mankind.

‫اَّلل عَ َ ِٰل َر ُس د د‬ ‫وَّل دم ْن ٱَه دْل الْ ُق َر ٰى فَ دل ه دَّل َو دل هلر ُسولد َو د دَّلي‬ ُ ‫هما َٱفَ َاء ه‬ ً َ ‫ون د‬ ‫ُوَل‬ ‫السب د‬ َ ‫ديل َ َْك َ​َل يَ ُك‬ ‫الْ ُق ْر َ َٰب َوالْ َي َتا َم ٰى َوالْ َم َسا دكْيد َوا ْب دن ه‬ ْ ُ ‫ب َ ْ َْي ْ َاْل ْغ دن َيا دء دم‬ ۚ ‫نُك‬

And [saying], "Seek forgiveness of your Lord and repent to Him, [and] He will let you enjoy a good provision for a specified term and give every doer of And what Allah restored to His Messenfavor his favor [i.e., reward]. But if you ger from the people of the towns - it is turn away, then indeed, I fear for you for Allah and for the Messenger and for the punishment of a great Day. Quran [his] near relatives1 and orphans and 11:3 the needy and the [stranded] traveler2 so that it will not be a perpetual distribution among the rich from among you. Islam provides the solution if people follow it with sincerity. Charity Quran 59:7 for a Muslim is an obligation. Treating others like how you want them

If not given laws and boundaries,

to treat you is the basis after worship of Allah.

societies tend to veer-off in wrong directions. That is why Allah has outlawed interest, bribery, and de-

‫ َع ْن‬،َ‫ َع ْن قَتَا َدة‬،‫ َع ْن ُش ْع َب َة‬،‫ قَا َل َح هدثَنَا َ ُْي َ​َي‬،ٌ‫َح هدثَنَا ُم َس هدد‬ .‫َٱن َ رس ـ رىض هللا عنه ـ َع دن النه د دب صِل هللا عليه وسَل‏‏‬ ‫ َع دن النه د دب‬،‫ َع ْن َٱن َ رس‬،ُ‫ قَا َل َح هدثَنَا قَتَا َدة‬،‫َو َع ْن ُح َس ْ رْي الْ ُم َع د دَل‬ ‫صِل هللا عليه وسَل قَا َل‏‏‏" َل يُ ْؤ دم ُن َٱ َحدُ ُ ُْك َح هَّت ُ دُي هب َْل دخي ده‬ .‫َما ُ دُي ُّب دلنَ ْف دس ده‏"‏‬

ception in trade. Allah commands

us to pay Zakat and encourages us to help the poor as well as not covet the wealth of others. These rules, along with all the rules we follow,

Narrated Anas:

helps us live a good life in the Akhirah and in this world. This con-

The Prophet (‫)ﷺ‬said, "None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for him-

cept is clear at the start of Surah

Hud: 66

self." Sahih al-Bukhari 1,Book 2, Hadith to the vulnerable and poor people.

6 The 2.5% zakat is obligatory on personal wealth, gold, silver, RRSP, stocks, business, factories, cattle, any

The obligation of yearly giving Za-

wealth accumulated or saved. Keep-

kat, whether it is 2.5%, 10% or 5%, seems less, yet it is a huge path in the well being of society.

ing a cap of 2.5% per year on general wealth gives us the idea of not

Muslims are also encouraged to give

the same time, Zakat uplifts the vulnerable by restoring their dignity

burdening those who pay Zakat. At

charity in their normal day to day

and financial independence.

behaviour. This can take many forms. It can be through their

The 10% and 5% are the Zakat on

wealth, skills, or intelligence. It can

farming yields per year. 10% is for be by providing care. It can mean removing harmful objects. It may be those which are naturally irrigated by eradicating

“

A way to gauge a society is how they treat their vulnerable.”

societal ills by standing up for the right and

and 5% is for those who must do irrigation by themselves. Other than moving the flow of wealth from rich

denouncing the wrong. It can also

be by creating meaningful employto poor, Zakat also curbs the insatiament for people to live with dignity. ble need to hoard wealth. The more A Muslim life is agile. wealth we accumulate, the more will leave our wallet at the end of the

Note that Zakat is an obligatory

year. This continuous flow of wealth in the society builds financial securi-

charity for every Muslim who has

certain amount of wealth after one ty for all. year. Muslims have to pay 2.5% from the wealth left with them which goes 67

There are many ways to use Zakat

ness in a society. To get full bene-

and other charities. The flow of wealth keeps life in order. Business

fits of the charity in this and in the next world, we also need to train

development, division of inher-

ourselves to be sincere, learn to

itance, investment in skill, building

spend in modesty and balance, to

institutions, interest free loans, spending in a balanced manner,

seek only the pleasure of Allah, not ours or others. Furthermore we

and engaging in multiple forms of

should avoid to hurt others, or

charities are ways to develop support systems, meaningful employ-

show off our wealth or charity and to steer clear from hypocrisy. To

ment, and skills. Hunger and pov-

spend and to get wealth both have

erty diminish, crimes reduce, abuse of anything is not ignored, and the

caveats we need to avoid to get the holistic benefit the flow of wealth

vulnerable are not set aside. It de-

offers us.

velops fairness and justice as power Wealth in the form of money, land, surges and arrogance takes a back property resources, skills or natural seat. resources is there for everyone.

Wealth should be used to do good and keep the evil at bay. We serve

Other than charity, we need per-

sonal ethics to keep justice and fair- through Zakat to lift people from

68

misfortune. We reduce our selfishness by not hoarding resources and

property. Wealth should be kept moving. The amount of Zakat on the wealth is minimal but its effects are far reaching. Combined with sincerity these minimalist charities can bring the favor and blessing of Allah to all in this world and the hereafter.

Further Reading:

Virtues & Avoidance From Quran: 2:261, 34:37, 92:18, 18:34, 28:78, 63:9, 9:24,2:264, 2:188, 9:103, 2:274, 16:71 (Quran) 1. Quran Translations Saheeh International

2. Source: https://quran.com/ & https://sunnah.com/

Photo By Scott Webb on Unsplash

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Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

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